Sophomore year finished in a blink. Junior year came around and left just as quick. Senior year, the year I was supposed to enjoy but couldn't. Everybody lost contact with Regina. The house never was the same again...it felt so empty. It's just me and dad.

He's never forgiven me yet and he hates the woman I've become so he avoids talking to me. He has for the past three years and he makes sure to stay out of the house as much as possible. I used to think that I was alone but THIS is what it really feels like to be alone. I lost everything. I've lost my high school sweetheart; the love of my life. I lost another baby. I had to give that baby girl away...she deserves better. Not some washed up teenager who's given up on everything.

I'm alone...

"Hi Emmy!" The small voice squeals as she rushes into the living room. I watch as they toddler climbs on the the couch beside me and swings her legs.

But there's still Mary. She's four now and doesn't visit often. She lives with Cora and Regina... wherever that is. I tried once, to use Mary to get to Regina somehow. Actually I've tried a million times but every time, Mary couldn't keep her mouth shut and I got cursed out. I tried to tell Mary to give Regina a note which had my number on it but she went and showed it to Dad instead. So...I resent this little girl sometimes. I always resent my sisters for some reason.

"Hey," I huff and change the channel as the show ends.

"Want to play dolly's?" She innocently asks. She's perfected her begging eyes at such an early age. Since the family is separated, she gets whatever the hell she wants. Cora and my dad want her to feel comfortable given the circumstances.

"I can't, I'm going out tonight." I inform her as kindly as my aching heart would allow. A toddler can't tell when someone is forcing emotions anyways can they?

"Going where?" The stale, depressed voice questions. I turn to my dad. The man is glaring at me. He definitely let himself go, he's just as depressed as I am.

"None of your business," I mumble and stand to leave the family of two to whatever it is they plan on doing.

"I know you've been skipping school." He says to me when I pass him. I shrug,

"So?"

"Look, I'm trying here. After what you did, the least you could do is stop giving me a hard time!" I'm used to him yelling now but Snow is not. She cowers sadly into the sofa with tears in her eyes. The sight of her fear makes me sigh so that I don't snap back at him instead.

"Listen, I leave you alone, you leave me alone and everything is cool." I shrug.

"At least tell me who you'll be with."

"Neal." I state simply. He grits his teeth and turns away from me. He's ashamed of every single thing I do now to the point where I don't try to be good anymore. I'm done being his good girl, I done pleasing everyone except myself.

He thinks Neal is too old and a bad influence. Yes, Neal has some years on me and he's in his last year for college but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He's been there for me constantly. He went to my doctor visits with me. He was there when I wanted to die, he was there when I gave birth. He's just always been there so, I owe him my time when he wants it. Tonight he just wants to chill in his car, nothing too fancy.

Neal comes about an hour later. He doesn't come in to say hi to my dad because my dad hates him. I think he forces himself to hate Neal because he honestly doesn't want to see me happy. He blames his fucked up marriage on me when it's not my fault. Like Gina said, they could've chose to accept they made their choice. Honestly I think Dad did attempt to find a mutual understanding when Cora tried to kick us out but he told us to go to our room. Who knows what they were talking about while we had sex in the treehouse. Maybe they were going to accept it and let us stay together, but, I highly doubt that and I wont ask my dad either. It is what it is.

"Hey!" He waves through his car window as I skip down the porch. I quickly hop in the car and flash the biggest smile I can.

"I need a big favor!" I beg.

"Here we go. No Emma, I told you I'm no longer encouraging you." He concludes.

"Can ai just stay at your place this week. Please?" I beg from the bottom of my heart. Neal notices the intensity and starts the car.

"Why what's going on? Did you guys get into a fight again?" I shake my head at him so he urges me to spill.

"Snow is home."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, so can I? Please." He glances at me for a quick second because he needs to focus on the road. He shrugs and then says,

"I will let you stay with me–

"Yes! Thank you so much!"

"IF..."

"Ugh, fuck!" I groan. He's always trying to bargain something with me! Its not cool.

"If you agree to finish the rest of the school year and graduate."

"Neal...no. I mean I–"

"Emma," he demands, showing how serious he is. "Look, you don't want to go to college, I get it. You don't want to do anything. But I promise that you will regret not graduating high school at the very least."

I take a moment to think about it. There's one reason and one reason only why I hate going to school: Regina. We've shared alot of moments there too. Hell, we've shared moments every god damn where so it's hard for me to cope in life with this twisting heart. Going to school makes it worse. All of her friends are long gone, they're in their second years of college. I'm so glad because they kept coddling me for the rest of sophomore year or asking if Regina was okay.

Now, I'm just left with memories. Memories of us walking to lunch together. Memories of her fighting Mal, her beating up Killian for trying to play me. Her smiling at me from her locker across the hall. Our stolen kisses...the baby we lost...everything. Thinking about it now only makes me physically sick. Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry; I am SO SICK of crying. I'm a mess!

"I can't go there," I tell him, shaking the thought away.

"You can Emma. There's just 5 more months left of school. You can do it. Besides, if you keep skipping out it's going to get your dad in big trouble and you don't need anymore guilt right now."

He's right, he's absolutely right. I've already caused enough damage. I don't need to keep causing damage to everyone around me. But, of course, in order for that to happen I would have to torture myself and force myself to go to school. Lily comes by every week and gives me my assignments for days that I decide to miss. I do them and I turn them in when I do go to class which is probably once or twice a week. So, my grades aren't that bad. I can bring them up, 5 months is enough time before graduation.

"Okay, Fine. I'll go." I cave.

"And another thing." Neal grins my way when I groan in agony again. "You have to let me take you to prom."

Prom... Regina and I were supposed to go to prom together. I wonder if she had a prom. I wonder if Cora put her in a new school or if she made Regina stay homeschooled so she could keep an eye on her. Thats the only explanation as to why it's been impossible to hunt her down. When her first year of college came around I had high hopes that she gained control of her life and would walk through that door one day but she never came. Now she's halfway through her second year and I have given up at this point.

"Please." Neal pouts like Mary did not too long ago. I groan and shake my head.

"I dont know Neal."

"Come on Em! You need to lighten up and stop drowning in your sorrows. At least once this year."

"Okay," I huff. "Fine but I'm not buying an expensive dress or anything like that."

"Cool! I'll take it."

I sigh at the old photo Neal sent me as I get out of the car. I collect all of my things and trudge up to my apartment with a heavy heart due to the memories. I'm starting to realize that I don't like change. Being an adult is so miserable for and, yet again, I am alone. All my friends are off to college, Neal is living his best life. They all make sure to text me on my birthday...even Dad.

He's–it's really complicated. I haven't seen him in years. After I graduated, Neal convinced me to go to a trade school for a few years. I did, it wasn't so bad and now I'm 26 years old and a vet tech. Dad admitted he was wrong about Neal and that he's proud of me but I didn't want to hear it. I was desperate to get away from my old life so I did. I moved to far far away.

Now, not that it's anyone's fault, I'm celebrating my birthday all alone. Well, not fully alone.

"Hey girl," I greet sweetly to Lola. The old girl is still like an energized puppy. "I got us cupcakes."

Lola happily follows me into the kitchen. Like always, she hops onto a seat at the table to keep me company. I let her eat beside me everyday because she's my best friend, why not? I talk, she listens and she doesn't judge a damn thing I do or say. She forever loves me.

"Alright. Cheers to being 26," I say dryly. Lola whimpers. I roll my eyes and proceed to blow out the candles but I hesitate. It's childish but I decide to close my eyes and make a wish before I blow it out.

"Arf!" She alarmingly barks. Someone knocks on the door again throwing me off. I frown at her wondering who it might be. It better not be my Dad I swear.

"I wonder who that is." Lola whines and leads the way to the door. She sits beside it with growing excitement, she normally only does that when it's someone we know so I open it without thinking. This is the weirdest birthday ever!

"Hi!" She waves with a big smile.