Daughter of Three Suns

Chapter 29

Auntie Esme was right. My family was there to help me. I'm not sure I could have taken care of my children and myself had I been alone. Thankfully I wasn't.

Mother, Esme, and even Rosalie made sure I had plenty of food. Besides my meals, there was always some kind of food available, and I was encouraged to eat something whenever I was even a little bit hungry.

Emmett laughingly called them "my baby snacks". He tried to explained that "snack" was a word from his world that meant "food eaten between regular meals", and since I was feeding two babies, I needed "baby snacks". When none of us understood or thought it was funny, he eventually just shrugged and gave up trying to make us laugh.

Emmett stayed in his man form most of the time now. He found he could even venture outside into the open cavern if he avoided any direct sunlight. Many wake cycles, when Rosalie was busy drying food on the top of our island, he would arrive at my cave with all three of his daughters and spend time with me. Emma always had some kind of project she was working on, but Elise spent her time crawling around on the floor with Eryn or making Hope and Ward laugh with her silly faces.

Esme taught Emma how to make the intricate knots for a baby sling. Together they fashioned another one and decorated it with fabric birds and other animals. When both babies were in their slings and ready to sleep, Elise would rock them gently, crooning songs she made up. She reminded me of myself when I would do the same for Emma. So many things had happened since then that sometimes, I almost wished to be a child again.

Emma took the shift she had made for me and altered it to fit my smaller body. When I tried it on for her, my hand went to the red circle on my chest, which was clearly visible. "Why did you cut the neckline like this?" I asked.

"Because"—she fidgeted awkwardly and looked away— "because it's so pretty, and I thought people should see it."

"Emma."

"Yes, Auntie." She glanced up, meeting my eyes.

"Tell me what you see when you look at it."

"It's round and red and …" She cocked her head and studied it intently. "It glows, Auntie, a soft, warm red glow like the embers of a cooking fire, or a ripe juicy berry. It looks like Grandmother Sun's face at the Anamnesis when she rules the sky."

"Has it always glowed?"

"Yes. Since you came back. Why, Auntie?"

I gazed down at my niece and felt the wonder and love I had first felt for her when she was born. It seemed almost impossible that her Metanora would be at the next Anamnesis. I wondered if Rosalie was planning on giving her some of the herbs before Mother Sun went away.

"Auntie Bella?"

Shaking my head, I answered, "I was just wondering." Then I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Emma frowned and touched her fingers where my lips had been. "What was that?"

"A kiss," I said with a smile. "It's a gesture of affection."

Emma smiled back, then glanced around the room. Elise was on the floor playing with Eryn. She walked over to her sister and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, sister mine," she said in answer to Elise's frown. They both giggled, then Emma settled on the floor, and the three sisters began playing a clapping game.

…..

Alice visited me almost as often as Emmett did. I wanted to ask her about what I'd seen during Ward's birth, but something always seemed to stop me. In addition to Alice, the healer checked on me regularly. When I complained about being sore and tired, she told me my body had experienced great trauma, and I needed to allow it to heal. She also said walking would help me get my strength back. So each cycle, I tried to walk, sometimes just around the pond and other times out into the desert.

One wake cycle, I climbed the stairs to the top of our island. Most of the women were there, busy with laying berries, appa, herbs, and fish out to dry or gathering those that were ready for storage. I was surprised to see only the very top of Daughter Sun visible above the horizon. Soon, she would be gone, and Mother Sun would come back. Time was running out to gather the rest of the harvest. I picked up a basket and slowly began gathering dried rubus berries.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Rosalie stood beside me, frowning.

"Trying to help, at least a little."

"The healer said—"

"I know, but I need to feel like I'm not a burden on everyone."

My sister scoffed, but then nodded. "Okay, here, you hold the basket, and I'll pick up the berries. You shouldn't be bending over."

We filled several baskets, then stopped to rest for a moment. While we stood gazing out at the desert around us, I asked if she or anyone else had moved to the lower caves.

"Only a few women did. Those who were older or who had very young children."

"What about Eryn?"

"The heat didn't seem to bother her. Emma and Elise didn't complain either."

"Do you think Daughter Sun is weakening?"

Rosalie shrugged, then faced me. "I've wondered. One of the seers said she wasn't in the sky for as many cycles this time."

We turned back to the desert and stared at the two suns.

"Are you still leaving, sister mine."

I heard Rosalie's breath catch at the endearment. When she turned to me, she had tears in her eyes. "Bella, I'm so—"

I shook my head, interrupting before she could say anything else. "I've been thinking that if I had not had a sister who was determined to make me into a strong and powerful woman, I would not have found Edward. I would never have saved our women and escaped from that world, and I would never have survived the birth of my children. I've been thinking I should put away my grief and anger and tell her how much I'll miss her when she leaves."

My sister was too emotional to speak. I hugged her to me—amazed again that I was the taller one—then kissed her forehead.

She frowned and rubbed her head. "What was that?" she asked as I walked away.

I chuckled. "Ask Emma."

…..

Time passed; life went on. Daughter Sun went away; Mother Sun returned. Wake cycle followed sleep cycle, and work followed rest. My children grew. It seemed only a short time before they were learning to crawl, then stand, then walk. Soon, they were talking, running, and needed constant watching. I was very thankful for my family's help.

Hope was a typical little girl. Her hair was dark, closer to the brown mine had been before my Metanora. She loved nothing better than to follow her cousins around, chattering about anything and everything. Emma and Elise were patient with her, and Eryn became her best friend.

Ward looked just like his father. His hair was golden, shot through with the same ochre, amber, scarlet, and brown of Edward's hair and feathers. He had the same nose, jawline, and lips. There were times when he would move his head, gesture with his hands, or say something that reminded me so much of my mate that I would have to look away, overcome with grief and sadness.

Although smaller at birth, he grew faster and was soon taller than Hope. He was quieter, too. Intensely curious about everything, he watched while I harvested berries, or pounded the fanio seeds into meal, or cleaned a fish for us to eat, and asked question after question.

My twins were a constant source of amusement and curiosity for the women of my home island. Gradually, as they came to realize Ward was just like any other child, they accepted him, and most tried to use the words "he" and "him" when they spoke. Like Mother had warned, there were still a few who resisted the changes my son represented. They would never accept him, but I no longer cared.

Now that I wasn't as sad or depressed, I was able to appreciate my friends and family more. Aunties, cousins, friends—they joined me while we sat around our central pond harvesting our food, making our clothing, and watching our children play. We laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other. Life was normal and ordinary again. It was only during the sleep cycle that I let myself think of Edward and all we could be sharing.

…..

When Mother Sun was halfway through her journey and shone directly overhead, Rosalie came to see me after last meal. "You're leaving."

She nodded and settled on a cushion. "Eryn is strong enough for the journey. She'll be able to walk most of the way, but Emma can carry her when she tires. Elise will carry most of our dried food, and I'll have our water. We'll go slow and rest often. If we need help, Emmett can fly ahead and alert Irina and the others."

"I thought perhaps you might change your mind. Most women seem more accepting of Emmett now that they're getting used to seeing him and Ward."

"It's true that he feels more accepted, but he misses being around other men. The people there are friends from his home world. I think we'll all be happier. We thought perhaps you might come with us."

Rosalie's invitation was tempting but somehow didn't seem right for me. Whenever I thought of leaving, it was another bare-rock island that filled my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Maybe someday, but not now. It just doesn't feel like the right time."

Rosalie nodded, and we sat silent for a while. "Sister, are you going to send Emma out for her Metanora?"

"No," she finally answered.

"The herbs?"

"Yes."

"Have you told her?"

Rosalie's embarrassed glance told me she understood what I was asking. "Yes. I've explained everything. We'll give her smaller amounts over a longer period of time. Emmett thinks she should spend more time in the sunshine while Mother Sun is in the sky, so we'll do that, too. Hopefully, her change from girl to woman will be slower, more gradual, and she won't have to endure the pain that we went through."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Then I'll take her out before Daughter Sun leaves."

"Mothers don't usually go with their daughters on their journey."

"I know," Rosalie answered. "It's too painful to see your child suffer, so aunties or older sisters go with the girls. But Emma doesn't have an older sister."

"No." I smiled. "But she has an auntie."

My sister stared at me for a moment or two. "Thank you," she finally said.

"I'll miss you, sister mine," I told her when she rose to leave.

Emotions swept across Rosalie's face as she gazed back at me. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. I don't think I ever told you, and for that, I'm sorry."

I nodded, unable to answer.

"May you be remembered forever," she whispered before walking away.

They were gone before first meal.

…..

Their leaving left a strange void in our lives. Hope and Ward missed their cousins and constantly asked for them. I missed my sister, of course, but I also missed Emmett. Being around him had helped dull the ache I had for Edward. Now that longing roared back to life, filling me with a yearning that left me irritable and moody. Nothing seemed to bring me peace or ease my want. I even found myself being impatient with my children.

One wake cycle, I took them with me to the terrace entrance where the recently cleared, older stalks of appa vines had been piled, ready to be broken into smaller pieces for our cooking fires. I stared at the golden sands before me while I absentmindedly snapped the stems. I thought of Rosalie and her family and wondered how their journey had been. My mind took me back to the time she had sat me in this very spot and helped me find the staff that would become my Metanora stake and my weapon.

Suddenly, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I would take Hope and Ward, and we would go on our own journey. I would take them to the rock columns that marked the now closed portal between our world and Edward's. I would tell them of their father and how he had saved his mother, their grandmother Esme, and all the people of Emmett's world. I would tell them how I had loved him, and how, if he were here, he would have loved them, too. Then we would carve his name on one of the columns so he would be remembered forever. But first, they would need their own walking staff for the journey.

"Ward, Hope, come here. We're going to play a game. Close your eyes," I explained when they sat in front of me. "Now take this and tell me what you feel."

I handed each of them a stalk I had selected that appeared to be about the right size. Hope ran her hands over hers, then giggled. Somehow, I wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes and called it a big stick. When I frowned, she quickly lost her smile. We both turned to watch her brother.

Ward had taken my instructions much more seriously than his sister. His hands smoothed over the stalk, fingers examining what his eyes couldn't see. "It will break here," he finally said. I handed him another, then another. Hope and I watched quietly while he studied each one intently. A slow smile filled his face when his fingers roamed over and over the fourth one. "This is mine," he said, standing and thumping it on the rocky ground. "This is mine."

"Now," I asked, turning to Hope. "Are you ready to find your staff?"

"Yes, Mother." She nodded solemnly.

"Good. Close your eyes, daughter mine, and tell me what you feel."

.

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AN: Many thanks to Sally for editing this on short notice and getting it back for me to post today. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing.