Hey there, faithful readers! Question for you. This story is coming to the end of the line (again, lol). The next chapter I have planned was meant to be the original epilogue.

BUT things are fluid; I know how this story continues, but the major events are a bit spaced out. I'd be happy to continue it for as long as you want, with the stipulation that there will be some pretty significant time jumps.

Thoughts?

Katie

I'm supposed to be resting the day after Thanksgiving. After Seth and I made up last night (if you could call it that), I promised him I'd stay in today, call in to the diner and catch up on sleep and homework.

Now I wished I hadn't made that promise. Everywhere I look, I see things to be done, finals to study for, contests to apply for, bills to be paid. I can feel my blood pressure raising.

Maybe if I can't leave, I can call someone for moral support.

Ashley picks up after only a few rings. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Her pure happiness brings tears to my eyes. "Homework," I mumble.

I must not hide my sniffle well enough, because she asks, "What's wrong?" And I must not answer fast enough either, because she says, "No, it doesn't matter. Your place or mine?"

"I can't leave. And you live three hours away," I groan. "I'm sure you're busy, anyway."

She chuckles. "Devon's family apparently goes fishing the day after Thanksgiving, something I didn't realize I was buying into when I agreed to date him. You'll be saving me. Send me your address."

I try to focus on my schoolwork while I wait for her, but it's pointless. My photography classes are portfolio-based, and my other two classes aren't all that challenging. I end up switching to laundry to keep busy; I'm folding towels when she knocks.

"You look like shit, K," Ashley hums when I open the door, pulling me in for a tight hug. "I brought coffee."

I giggle into her shoulder as I notice a bag at her feet. "And a bag."

"It's just wine," she murmurs, staying locked in an embrace. "I didn't know if we were at a level five or level ten. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Wine before lunch? I missed living with you."

I don't know if I've seen Ashley since the wedding, come to think of it. I used to think the only reason we were friends is because we lived together, because it was easy and comfortable. But seeing her here again, having her pull back and press a bag of wine into my palms, makes me realize Seth isn't the only one I've neglected lately.

I give Ashley a quick tour of the house as we sip our coffee. It doesn't take long.

When I push open the door to the second bedroom, she sighs. "You haven't unpacked?"

This room is still crammed full of boxes from our move. I don't come in here often, because it's overwhelming. It's been three months; they're starting to collect dust.

Roots, I'd told Seth on the day we moved in. I've never planted roots.

Apparently, some things never change.

"Come on," Ashley says, setting her coffee down on the windowsill and grabbing a box. "I'll help."

"So how have you been?" I try, grabbing a box of my own off one of the many piles.

She scoffs, dropping the box at her feet and plopping down next to it. "Oh, no. You first." She throws open her box. "Actually, wait a second."

Ashley disappears, but when she returns, she's got all my prints from the rest of the house, a thick stack of photo paper in her hands. "This box has your portfolios."

I throw open the lid to the box in front of me, taking a sip of my coffee before I set it aside. "Things have kinda sucked lately," I admit as I move the box to the floor.

"Why? For how long?"

I look up to the ceiling as I lower myself to the floor, hoping my tears don't give me away. "I don't know. October? My birthday, I think. Seth and I went to Mount Rainier, and he brought up having a baby."

She laughs, pulling out my stuffed frog from her box, tossing it to me. "He certainly doesn't waste any time. How'd that go?"

I clutch the frog to my chest, remembering months ago when Seth had also found it, called it cute. "I kinda freaked out. And then I got a tattoo to distract myself."

"Another one? I want to see!"

I lean back, pulling down my sweatpants to show her my newest addition on my hip. "Sort of a tribute to Seth."

She nods appreciatively, continuing to sort the prints into different subjects. "It's cute. Why a wolf?"

My cheeks grow warm as I correct my clothing. "It's his favorite." Hopefully it's believable.

"Why not a baby?" Ashley asks in the next beat. I missed her bluntness.

"I have a list a thousand miles long of 'why not a baby,'" I mumble. I cried enough yesterday to last a while, but guilt still creeps in, still shows up as tears welling in my eyes. "School, work, career, I'm twenty."

"And Seth's not okay with that?" she asks, brow furrowed.

"It's not him," I say quickly. "It's just… Everything. All of that stuff. Together, all at once. I'm drowning, Ash. I don't know what I'm doing," I whimper, throwing up my hands.

She sighs, and I have to drop my gaze from the concerned look she's giving me. "Just start over, tell me everything."

And so I do. I tell her about the trip to Mount Rainier in detail, where I'd broken down when Seth brought up having a baby. The bonfire, when we left early. My growing and challenging mentorship with Rich, getting the job in Port Angeles, things stacking higher and higher.

Being sick. The pregnancy scare. Lying to Seth. Him finding out at Thanksgiving yesterday.

"And I thought my family dinner was dramatic," she sighs. "And all that happened was Granny calling me out for living in sin."

Despite my sore chest, her comment makes me laugh. "I thought you were keeping it a secret."

She rolls her eyes, finishing off her coffee. "I was. My big-mouth brother said something. What about this one?" she asks, holding up a print from our trip to North Cascades.

"The blue one. I think it's at the very bottom."

She nods, her arm disappearing as she begins to dig into the box, and I return to the one in front of me, full of textbooks from my education days. I wonder if I could sell them.

"What's this?"

When I look up, Ashley's holding the leather cuff bracelet Seth made me for Valentine's Day. She chucks it at me, and it lands on the carpet in front of me.

"I thought I lost that."

"Did you look for it?" she retorts.

I don't answer, just run my finger over the engraving on the underside.

Just you and me.

"I think I'm a bad wife," I breathe, and when I look up, Ashley's face is cloudy from my tears.

But her grimace is hard to miss. "Why?"

I shrug, swallowing thickly as I fasten the bracelet around my wrist. "I can't cook to save my life, I'm always worried about something, and I'm always busy with school and work. He gets the short end of the stick constantly.

"My mom stayed home with us when I was little. I don't know what it looks like to take care of a house and have a career."

"Who said you had to?"

I spin my rings around my finger. "Seth wants a family."

"You said he was fine with it."

"He is."

She groans. "You're not making sense. Is he or is not okay with it?"

"He's okay with it. But what else do I have to give him?" The words are spilling off my tongue before I have time to question whether they're true. I know as soon as I close my mouth, though, that they are.

"Pardon my French, but are you fucking serious, Katie?" Ashley retorts sharply, her dark hair bobbing as she leans forward over the box toward me. "He didn't marry you to pop out babies. He married you for you."

I try to nod, but somehow, I find myself shrugging instead. "What if I'm not the same Katie he married? Fell in love with?"

"Of course you're not," she says. "You live in a different zip code, have two more jobs, a different major and a different last name. Like you said, you're twenty. You're still growing. You're still figuring out who you are as a person.

"And I don't think it's fair or healthy for you to take all this on yourself, what you think someone else is expecting of you when you don't even know what you expect from yourself."

Her words hit my heart hard, and my breath leaves me in a rush. "I missed that psychology brain of yours," I say softly. "Seriously, I missed one semester with you, and you get even wiser."

"Me?" she scoffs. "Look at these pictures, Katie. You're amazing."

"I've been trying to tell her."

Seth's voice scares me, and I jump. When I turn my head, he's standing in the doorway, still shirtless and dirty from patrol. And I know based on his face, the way it's soft and his eyes kind, that he heard every word I told Ashley.

And I have a sinking suspicion that Ashley knows that, too. I mean, she can see the door from where she's sitting.

"I thought you were working," I say softly.

He shrugs. "I talked with Leah. We decided I needed to be here." He gives Ashley a half-smile. "Hey, Ashley. Good to see you."

Ashley mumbles something about needing to call Devon, and she scrambles out of the room.

Seth crouches down next to me, swiping a soft thumb under my eyes.

"When you say talked with Leah…" I say, leaning into his warm hand.

He rises to his feet, pulling me with him. "I mean after I kept bugging her, she showed me what happened last weekend and made me come home. Katie, I had no idea."

I balance on the sides of my feet. "I know. That was the point."

"And all that stuff you said with Ashley… you feel like that's true." His tone leaves nothing to be questioned.

I shrug. "A small part of me does."

Seth sighs, reaching out for my hips. "Katie, baby. I didn't marry your… your womb or whatever."

I can't help but laugh, and he does too, blowing out a breath.

"I married your heart," Seth says after he can breathe again, lowering down to press his lips to my forehead. "And your soul."

I nod into his chest. "I know."

"Is Ashley staying?"

"Yes, please!" I hear Ashley call from the hallway. Of course she's eavesdropping. When she pokes back through the door, she has a mischievous grin on her face. "Katie needs my help to turn this room into a workspace."

"That's a great idea," Seth says eagerly. "I'll help."

Seth accompanies me to yet another follow-up appointment with Carlisle at the hospital a week after Thanksgiving.

Carlisle says my levels are getting better, and Seth is proud to pull out our list – the one he'd also been proud to pin to the fridge. Carlisle chuckles, and if he could blush, I think he would have when he reaches the last item on the list.

One thing that comes out of my appointment is Carlisle recommending I go on a more permanent form of birth control – one less thing you'd have to worry about, and more effective than the pill when taken correctly, he says. Seth instantly agrees. I'm sure it's for my benefit only.

On the ride home, I ask Seth if it's okay if we talk about kids again in three years, when it's time for the implant to be replaced or removed.

He tells me in turn he's going to buy plane tickets to fly us to Montana the day after Christmas.

Neither of us argue.

It's progress.

The rest of the month is a flurry. My semester ends with little fanfare – aside from winning the contest for the Oregonian and receiving a four-figure check that helps to cushion our bank account from the upcoming Christmas holiday and the furniture Seth bought for my workspace.

Christmas is only three weeks away, Seth. Just wait, I'd told him.

But he'd only shaken his head. This isn't a gift, Katie. It's an investment in your career.

And I'd left it there. If he's trying – which he is; he's trying so hard – then it's only fair if I try, too. Like I said, progress.

I transition to working in Port Angeles three days a week and the diner on the weekends. And this, at least, is manageable. I guess I've never considered college a full-time job, but it becomes increasingly clear over the few weeks before Christmas, when I'm not in classes and Seth makes a comment that I seem happier and less stressed, that it is.

My levels are back down to what Carlisle considers 'slightly elevated, but much healthier.'

It's the reason I cut back my schedule even farther for the next semester, dropping my Nature and Wildlife Photography class. Technically twelve hours is still considered full-time, and I can keep my scholarship. Seth and Rich agree, I have a handle on the nature piece.

And since I still have the picture of Seth's wolf saved and hidden deep on my computer, I'd like to think I'm good at capturing wildlife, too.

On Christmas Eve, our house is full of commotion. We're trying to get everything ready for our trip to Montana tomorrow, wrap last-minute gifts, and get ready to head to Sue and Charlie's for Christmas Eve dinner and spend the night.

I'm finishing up a batch of cookies to bring to dinner. I'm just surprised they're not burnt.

Seth comes into the kitchen, dressed for family dinner. "It smells amazing in here."

"You look nice," I say as I smooth my hand over his sweater. "And no promises on how edible they are."

He snags one off the cooling rack, popping it in his mouth. "Oh, my God," he groans. "Katie."

"Are they bad?" I ask with wide eyes. "I followed the instructions exactly."

He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around my waist. "They're perfect. Delicious."

I smile, leaning up on my tip toes to give him a soft kiss.

Or I would have, if he hadn't pulled back, cursing.

"What's the matter?"

He's already pulling his sweater off. "I don't know. But it's Jared, he sent out a distress call. Something's not right."

I follow him to the door. "What should I do?"

"Come to Sam and Emily's," he says, pressing his sweater into my arms and giving me a quick peck in the hair before he turns and runs out the front door.

What to do?

First thing's first, turn the oven off. I think everything else can wait. Except maybe trying one of those cookies for myself. Seth may be biased about a lot of things, but not about the cookies – these are pretty good.

I grab my keys and head outside to my car, but it won't turn over.

Dead battery.

Again.

With a groan, I run back inside and swap my keys for Seth's. Time to put that stick-shift driving to the test.

I'm just glad it's a short drive to everywhere on the rez, because I'm not cut out for driving manual. I kill it twice, and I nearly rear-end another car when my foot presses the accelerator instead of the clutch.

When I pull up to Sam and Emily's, there are only a few vehicles outside – Jacob's truck, and Emily's car.

At first, I don't even see Seth. But he comes bounding off the porch as if I'd called his name.

I know as soon as we lock eyes that something's not right.

"What happened?" I say as I throw open the door, killing the engine with a jolt.

He meets me at the truck door, clinging to me tightly. "There's a problem with the baby." His voice is thick and husky, and if I had to bet on it, I'd say there are tears in his eyes.

It takes me a second to comprehend what he's telling me. As far as I know, there's only one baby he could be referring to. Emily's.

Tears sting at my own eyes, and I press my face into his chest. "It's gonna be okay," I mumble, "Emily's strong. She'll be fine."

I'm not sure who I'm talking to. I'm not even sure if I believe myself.

I'd just seen Emily last weekend, when she and Kim had come into the diner for a late lunch after a day of Christmas shopping. She was happy, laughing, pregnant. The thought of her suddenly being… not pregnant, with nothing to show for it, makes my heart ache.

Seth nods, holding me tighter, as if he's thinking the same thing. "I have to phase. Keep up a line of communication."

I place a soft kiss against his shoulder, and I blink several times to clear my emotion from my eyes. "I'll be here. It's gonna be okay."

Seth pulls me in even tighter before releasing his hold on me and heading to the tree line. I watch him as he retreats. Right before he disappears into the brush, he turns back. "Your car's dead, isn't it?"

My cheeks flush. "Maybe."

He gives me a soft smile, one that doesn't quite meet his eyes. "Maybe Santa will bring you a new starter for Christmas."

When I head inside, the usual crowd is here. Embry and Quil are settling in on the couch, debating whether it's acceptable to turn on Sam's gaming system, while Paul roots through the kitchen for food. Leah's on the phone in the corner, and she gives me a wave.

Nessie and Jacob are talking softly by the hallway, her hand pressed to his face and his hand holding it there, in what is so obviously a loving embrace. I wish I'd thought to bring my camera to capture the moment, but it's already packed away in my suitcase.

Nessie drops her hand, giving me a half-smile as she makes her way over to me.

"Hey. I guess you heard," she says. "About Emily."

I nod, slipping out of my jacket and shoes. "Seth told me."

"I'm going to make a pot of coffee. Do you want some?" she asks, tilting her head toward the kitchen Paul's just raided.

I follow her to the kitchen. "What were you all doing before all this?" I ask her, if only to try and steer the conversation away from the elephant in the room.

A small blush rises to her cheeks. "Jacob bought a house."

"Wow, that's big. What's it look like?"

She blushes deeper as she starts peeking into the cabinets, searching for coffee. "It's a little cabin in the woods. It needs some work."

I want to ask her to show me, but somehow, I know she's keeping something to herself. Otherwise, I think she would have offered.

"What about you?" she asks, locating the ground coffee and filters and starting toward the coffee pot.

"Getting ready for Christmas, mostly. We're going to Montana tomorrow, and we were supposed to have dinner at Sue and Charlie's tonight. I guess I should call her."

Leah sidles up next to me, leaning against the counter. "I just did. She said she understands, and she talked about dropping off a casserole or something."

Nessie nods. "I wish there was something we could do for them. I feel so helpless."

"Maybe Katie can pray or something," Leah mumbles.

My cheeks grow warm. "Me? I'm not… I don't really pray out loud."

"It can't hurt," Leah says. "Right?"

"Um…" My cheeks flame, and I look down at my mismatched socks as I balance on the sides of my feet.

Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that Leah and Emily are related, were close enough to be sisters at one point. And I know it bothers Leah that she's never been able to recover their relationship to the point it once was.

And if me doing this can make at least one person here feel better, even just a little, I can give it a try.

"I guess," I finally say. "Sure."

I hear rumblings behind me, from the living room, and the ambient noise of the Xbox abruptly stops. Oh, so everyone's going to listen to me make a fool of myself. Great.

I let my eyes slide shut, bowing my head to the floor.

"Dear God," I start with a shaky breath. "Thank you for everything you've given me, and for working all things together for good, even when we can't see it."

I hear a deep hushed voice start to grumble something, but a dull thud stops it immediately.

"Tomorrow is Jesus' birthday, which is really cool. I think if I had been in Mary's shoes right about now, I'd be having a panic attack. Hyperventilating, maybe."

Leah lets out a low laugh beside me.

"I can imagine how she felt. Scared, worried. And then her plans changed, and she had even less clue what she was walking into. And I'm sure that's how Emily and Sam feel right now.

"God, life is hard. You didn't intend for it to be easy, because I don't think people would need You if it was. But we need You now. We come to You now, asking for Your hand of protection over Sam and Emily and their baby, the baby You gave them on purpose.

"You're not a by chance god or an accident god. You're an on-purpose God, and You don't do things halfway or by mistake. I know there's a reason You've chosen Emily and Sam to be parents to this baby, and I know there's a reason You've decided that they're strong enough to handle this.

"Please, provide peace to them as they walk through this, peace that only You can provide. Peace that comes from knowing that they have family and friends behind them, supporting them, and loving them. All three of them. In Jesus' name. Amen."

There is a rumbling of amens around the room, and when I finally drag my eyes from the floor, I catch Nessie wiping at her eyes as she turns back to the coffee pot.

Leah elbows me. "Preacher's daughter," she says with a smile. "You're good at that."

"Deacon," I correct, but I return her grin.

It takes Nessie until the coffee's done brewing to decide we're going to have Christmas Eve dinner here instead.

"Can you help me, Katie?" Nessie asks.

Leah chuckles. "Katie can't cook to save her life."

"I made cookies earlier," I say defensively.

"Cookies?" Quil calls from the couch. "Where?"

I giggle. "They're still at home. You're welcome to—"

He's already swiping Seth's keys off the table.

Nessie commands us all – we become her little soldiers. She calls Billy, then Charlie, and has Leah go through the cabinets and pull out the supplies Emily had stashed away for their own Christmas dinner. It helps that her list is pinned to the fridge.

I start by plugging in the Christmas tree. That, at least, I can do without ruining anything.

Eventually, Nessie requests I join her in the kitchen.

She's a good teacher, and dare I say, I actually find myself enjoying it. Especially after Leah commandeers the television and turns on some Christmas music. It forces the boys to the kitchen table, where they find some playing cards and muffins to keep them occupied.

By the time Quil returns with the cookies, there are quite a few missing. And it takes no time for the rest to disappear, too.

Rachel arrives with Billy and Tina, his girlfriend, who's holding a ham or a turkey or something else large and important-looking and covered with foil.

"Nessie, this needs to go in the oven," Tina says in a sing-songy voice. "Is there room?"

Nessie's got her hands full, hand-mixing dough for biscuits made from scratch (when she and Jake finally get together, he'll be blessed in a way I'm not sure Seth will ever be). "Katie, can you make space?"

I want to protest, but Leah catches my eye from across the room, giving me an eyebrow. It's a challenge.

It's the most stupid thing in the world, but Rich's voice rings through my ears like a gong. Do life scared. I think he probably intended it for more life-altering things than cooking, but he also said to apply it every part of life.

And food is a part of life.

"Sure, I'll find some space."

I don't even burn myself.

Jake eventually returns from wherever he disappeared to, just as Charlie and Sue walk through the door.

Charlie announces that he's brought beer, which earns a cheer from the boys at the table. It makes me miss Seth, even though he's just outside. I think it's snowing.

Sue adds a casserole dish to the plethora of dishes filling up the tiny kitchen as Nessie waves Jake over.

And with Jacob in the kitchen and dinner practically finished, I decide that my time as Nessie's sous chef is finished, and I slink over to Leah and Sue.

Sue gives me a big hug. "You look better," she murmurs, although I'm not sure why. I'm sure everyone in the room knows about the fiasco at Thanksgiving.

"I'm getting there," I tell her honestly. "Seth's been great."

After an update from Jacob where he tells the room Emily likely has a placental abruption – which leads to an update from Sue where she explains what exactly that means – we eat dinner.

It's definitely snowing by the time Embry relieves Seth after dinner. When Seth comes in, he's shaking snowflakes out of his hair.

"It's your first Washington white Christmas, and we won't even be here to enjoy it," Seth says as he wraps an arm around me.

I nod into his chest. "Did you hear the update?"

"And heard you pray," he murmurs. "Leah's right. You're good at it."

Embarrassment rises to my cheeks. "You should eat."

Sue approaches us while Seth's scarfing down dinner. "Are you all still going to come over tonight?"

I look around the room – Quil just left to go see Claire. Paul and Rachel are packing up food, I think to take to Jared and Kim, who Jake said were at the hospital. Nessie and Jacob are talking with Billy, Tina, and Charlie.

"I think we'll stay here, if that's okay, Mom," Seth says through a mouthful of food. "The pack should stay together."

By the time Seth pulls me upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms, it's hard to keep my eyes open.

But Seth sighs heavily, and I know based on his tone that he's nowhere near sleep.

I turn on my side. "What are you thinking?"

The mattress shifts as he turns to face me. "I'm just worried about Sam and Emily." His voice is thick.

"Talk to me," I plead softly.

"We said no baby talk."

With a sigh, I wind my arms around his waist, pulling myself flush against his chest. "These are special circumstances."

"It just… it sounds bad to say, but it makes me understand a little bit more where you're coming from. Emily and Sam are a lot older than us, a lot more financially stable. Maybe emotionally, too. They planned for this baby, hoped for it. And then…"

I nod into his chest. "We plan, and God laughs."

Seth sighs, pressing his shaky lips to my hair.

"Do you still want to go to Montana tomorrow?" I ask softly. "I'm sure my family would understand if we stayed here."

His noise of contemplation vibrates my cheek. "I would never ask you to do that. We haven't seen your family since the wedding."

"We've Skyped them," I say defensively.

"Twice."

"This is our family, too, Seth."

"I know. But Katie, baby, you've been packed for a week. I know you're excited. And I think it will be good for you. Give your mind a break before your semester starts."

I chew my lip, trying to find a way to protest.

But my willingness to fight him slips further away with every small circle of his hand on my back. I think I manage to murmur that I'll have Leah give us updates.

I'm not even awake to hear his response.