Hello to the handful, faithful readers! Heck, hello to anybody who is reading this! Hello to the book characters of Rick Riordan!

Percy and everyone else in a bored tone: Hello... Can we go now?

Cereberus Is A Rottweiler

~_~

"Chapter 18 - ANNABETH DOES OBEDIENCE SCHOOL" Katie read.

"He actually dedicated the chapter's name to that." Annabeth smiled. Others looked at her in confusion. Except Grover, who smirked knowingly.

We stood in the shadows of Valencia Boulevard, ... I turned to my friends. "Okay. You remember the plan."

"That was one of the worst plans ever. I shouldn't have let him planned it." Annabeth shook her head.

"All his plans are worse, unless they are on-the-spot planned plans." Grover pointed.

"Touché".

"The plan," Grover gulped ... "Don't think negative."

"OH MY GODS DID PERCY JUST SAY THAT?!" Thalia yelled.

"When Percy says don't think negative, it's your cue to start thinking negative and make a backup plan." Annabeth told Annie. Everyone turned to look at Annabeth.

"Just preparing her for the future." Annabeth shrugged.

"It's not like we are going to remember anything..." Percy pointed. "Touché".

"Right," ... I shouldn't think negative."

"Exactly. It's hopeless." Hades mused.

I took the pearls out of my pocket, ... didn't seem like much of a backup in case something went wrong.

"They're more than they seem." Poseidon spoke nervously, as if trying to assure himself.

Annabeth put her hand on my shoulder. ... gave Grover a nudge.

"Oh, right!" ... We'll find the master bolt and save your mom. No problem."

"Sometimes even Percy needs encouragement." Nico mused.

I looked at them both, and felt really grateful. ... trying to make me feel better.

"Well, I think after that he never stopped being grateful to his friends..." Grover said.

I slipped the pearls back in my pocket. "Let's whup some Underworld butt."

"That's an interesting way to say 'Let's go to the Land of Dead and try not to be dead.'" Apollo said with amusement.

We walked inside the DOA lobby.

Muzak played softly on hidden speakers. The carpet and walls were steel gray. ... ...transparent. I could see right through their bodies.

"Of course they were transparent. What do you expect from dead mortal spirits?" Annie muttered.

Even Percy was getting nervous. Would he be able to save his mom? Would he be able to get the masterbolt? He didn't like all the surprises the Underworld might have in store for him, even if he knew all this had already happened.

The security guard's desk was a raised podium, ... He wore tortoiseshell shades and a silk Italian suit that matched his hair.

"Ah, Charon and his obsession with Italian suits." Hades waved his hand as if dismissing someone. He leaned forward, interested to see how this demigod would get into the Underworld. It would be entertaining, and might even give some insights about what security improvements he needs to make in his realm.

A black rose was pinned to his lapel under a silver name tag.

I read the name tag, ... "Your name is Chiron?"

"Way to blow the cover." Nico muttered.

He leaned across the desk. ... his smile was sweet and cold, like a pythons, right before it eats you.

Apollo shuddered. He had had some experiences with such cold smiles from pythons, or actually Python, the father of pythons.

"What a precious young lad." ... "Tell me, mate, do I look like a centaur?"

"N-no."

"Sir," ... "Sir," I said.

He pinched the name tag and ran his finger ... It says C-H-A-R-O-N. Say it with me: CARE-ON."

"Charon. ... how may I help you ... want to go the Underworld," she said.

Charon's mouth twitched. "Well, that's refreshing...How did you die, then?"

...nudged Grover.

... drowned ... in the bathtub."

"All three of you?" Charon asked. We nodded.

"Remind me not to ask Grover to make stories on our quest." Percy told Annie. She hummed in agreement. Grover flushed.

"Big bathtub." ... Suppose you'll have to take a seat for a few centuries."

"Oh, but we have coins." I set three golden drachmas on the counter, ...

Well, now ..." ... Real golden drachmas.

I haven't seen these in ..." ... cold stare behind his glasses seemed to bore a hole through my chest.

"I don't think you can buy your way into the Underworld." Hades grumbled.

"Here now," he said. "You couldn't read my name correctly. Are you dyslexic, lad?"

"No," I said. "I'm dead."

"Smart." Leo snorted.

Charon leaned forward and took a sniff. "You're not dead. I should've known. You're a godling." ..."Leave while you can," Charon told us.

"I'll just take these and forget I saw you." ...No service, no tip." I tried to sound braver than I felt.

"Well, the boy knows how to do business. Now only if he could..." Hermes trailed off.

Charon growled again-a deep, blood-chilling sound. ... "It's a shame, too," I sighed. "We had more to offer."

I held up the entire bag from Crusty's stash. I took out a fistful of drachmas and let the coins spill through my fingers.

"If business doesn't work, use bribery. Good. Just a bit more patience." Hermes nodded. Hades scowled and made a note in his notebook.

Charon's growl changed into something more like a lion's purr. ... Eh ... just out of curiosity, how much have you got there?"

"A lot," I said. "I bet Hades doesn't pay you well enough for such hard work."

"You're good with words too." Hermes said, impressed.

Hades grumbled something about bribery and corruption.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. ... "You deserve better," I agreed. "A little appreciation. Respect. Good pay."

"He knows what to say, and how to hit a sore spot. It's going to work." Hermes said, even more impressed.

With each word, I stacked another gold coin on the counter. ... "I could mention a pay raise while I'm talking to Hades."

"You wouldn't dare." Hades growled. He made another note in his notebook furiously. It seemed Charon was going to get a pay raise alright, but the payment was not the kind of thing he would've expected.

Poor Charon.

He sighed. "The boat's almost full, anyway. I might as well add you three and be off." ...What happens to the spirits waiting in the lobby?" Annabeth asked.

"Nothing," Charon said.

"For how long?"

"Forever, or until I'm feeling generous."

Everyone turned to look at Hades.

He just shrugged. He wasn't going to argue about what was fair and what wasn't fair about death. He had tried to explain it to the living many times, and it hadn't worked out so well. He wasn't going to do it again.

"Oh," she said. "That's ... fair." ... Wait until it's your turn. You'll die soon enough, where you're going."

Annie paled and grabbed Percy's hand, again. He had a pale look of his own. Even Grover and Annabeth were pale, as the remembered the horrible place.

"We'll get out alive," ... "Ha."

I got a sudden dizzy feeling. ...Where his eyes should've been were empty sockets-like Ares's eyes, except Charon's were totally dark, full of night and death and despair.

A few people shuddered. Annie turned paler if possible, and clutched Percy's hand tighter. Percy didn't complain.

He saw me looking, and said, "Well?"

... The River Styx," Annabeth murmured. "It's so ..."

"Polluted," Charon said. "For thousands of years, you humans have been throwing in everything as you come across-hopes, dreams, wishes that never came true. Irresponsible waste management, if you ask me."

Hades made another note. He had almost forgotten about the water management system. He would have to hire somebody for periodically de-polluting the river. Ugh. Even more expenses.

Mist curled off the filthy water. ... Ahead, the far shore glimmered with greenish light, the color of poison.

The room darkened to reflect what was being read. Everyone but Hades and Nico and Hermes (who was used to making deliveries to the Underworld) turned pale and started sweating.

Panic closed up my throat. What was I doing here? These people around me ... they were dead.

Annabeth grabbed hold of my hand. ... She wanted reassurance that somebody else was alive on this boat.

Nobody even bothered to tease Annie or Annabeth or Percy. Almost everyone was shivering with fear as the room darkened.

I found myself muttering a prayer, ... Down here, only one god mattered, and he was the one I had come to confront.

"You're darn right. And that one god wouldn't be happy about it." Hades snarled.

The shoreline of the Underworld came into view. ... echoing off the stones-the howl of a large animal.

"Old Three-Face is hungry," ..."Bad luck for you, godlings."

The bottom of our boat slid onto the black sand. ... But the entrance to the Underworld looked like a cross between airport security and the Jersey Turnpike.

A few people managed to let out nervous laughs.

There were three separate entrances ... Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon.

Hades scratched his chin thoughtfully. "So I made it easy for you... I think I wanted you to reach me."

" Easy?" Percy blurted. Hades glared at him, but instead of ducking behind Annie, he clenched his little fists and glared back. Hades was more surprised than offended.

The howling of the hungry animal was really loud now, ... "Yeah. Three judges. They switch around who sits on the bench. King Minos

"I hate him." Nico muttered angrily. Hades gave him a questioning look, but he waved it aside.

, Thomas Jefferson, Shakespeare-people like that. ... Grover said, "Imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas. Forever."

"Harsh," I said.

"What do you expect me to do? Reward every single spirit that enters my domain? Do you have any idea how taxing it is to control the Underworld ?" Hades snarled.

Percy didn't argue.

"Not as harsh as that," Grover muttered. "Look."

A couple of black-robbed ghouls had pulled aside one spirit and were frisking him at the security desk.

The face of the dead man looked vaguely familiar.

"He's that preacher who made the news, remember?" Grover asked.

"Oh, yeah." I did remember now. We'd seen him on TV a couple of times at the Yancy Academy dorm

He was this annoying televangelist from upstate New York who'd raised millions of dollars for orphanages and then got caught spending the money on stuff for his mansion, like gold-plated toilet seats, and an indoor putt-putt golf course. He'd died in a police chase when his "Lamborghini for the Lord" went off a cliff.

"Gold-plated toilet seats? Seriously?" Leo asked incredulously.

"Sometimes I have a hard time understanding human beings, and that's saying something, considering I am half human." Travis muttered in agreement.

"But gold-toilet seats would look so cool!" Apollo said.

"A lot of times I have a hard time understanding gods, but that's saying something, considering I am half god." Connor muttered.

Apollo frowned, but didn't protest.

I said, "What're they doing to him?" ...Then, about fifty feet in front of us, the green mist shimmered. Standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous shadowy monster.

I hadn't seen it before because it was half transparent, like the dead. ... My jaw hung open. All I could think to say was, "He's a Rottweiler."

A few people laughed. Percy certainly knew how to lighten the mood. "You're looking at the Cereberus, and that's what you think?" Frank said with amusement.

Percy gave him a sheepish grin.

"Leave it to Percy to lighten the mood." Annabeth sighed fondly. Her heart ached to see the seaweed brain from her universe.

"Hey! You can depend on me to lighten the mood too, you know." Leo said.

A few people opened their mouths to argue, but nothing came out.

"Well, he's not wrong." Hermes mused.

Leo grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

I'd always imagined Cerberus as a big black mastiff. ... he was obviously a purebred Rottweiler, except of course that he was twice the size of a woolly mammoth, mostly invisible, and had three heads.

Grover shivered as he remembered the dog. It wasn't exactly a nature-friendly animal.

The dead walked right up to him-no fear at all. ... "I'm starting to see him better," I muttered. "Why is that?"

"I think ..." Annabeth moistened her lips. "I'm afraid it's because we're getting closer to being dead."

The dog's middle head craned toward us. ...The middle head snarled at us, then barked so loud my eyeballs rattled.

"Can you understand it?" I asked Grover. ... I don't think humans have a four-letter word that translates, exactly."

"Well, the dog had some colorful things to say." Grover muttered nervously, chewing on his shirt. The Underworld-ly darkness and gloominess that had descended into the throne room wasn't helping him either.

I took the big stick out of my backpack-... I tried to smile, like I wasn't about to die.

"Hey, Big Fella," ... "I bet they don't play with you much."

"It's not gonna work," Nico said, shaking his head. "You need to do better."

"GROWWWLLLL!" ... I had Cerberus's undivided attention. I wasn't sure that was a good thing.

"It probably wasn't." Piper muttered.

"Fetch!" I threw the stick into the gloom, a good solid throw. I heard it go ker-sploosh in the River Styx.

Cerberus glared at me, unimpressed. His eyes were baleful and cold.

So much for the plan.

"I wonder how you survived." Hades tilted his head to side, confused. "You should be dead. " He looked at Annabeth.

"We demigods get that a lot. Especially me and Percy. Sometimes I myself find it surprising that we're alive. But we have to keep moving on." Annabeth shrugged.

Cerberus was now making a new kind of growl, deeper down in his three throats. ..."Cerberus? He's saying we've got ten seconds to pray to the god of our choice. After that... well ... he's hungry."

"Wait!" Annabeth said. She started rifling through her pack.

Uh-oh, I thought.

"And what made you think that?" Annie asked Percy angrily.

"We didn't have much time. If your plan failed, we wouldnt have any time to run." Percy shrugged.

"Five seconds," Grover said. "Do we run now?"

Annabeth produced a red rubber ball ... She shouted, "See the ball? You want the ball, Cerberus? Sit!"

"That will work." Nico said with a laugh.

"Ha," Hades yelled. "Cereberus is a proper well-trained dog. You can't just play with him like that. He'll eat you!"

Cerberus looked as stunned as we were. ... Cerberus licked his three sets of lips, shifted on his haunches, and sat, immediately crushing a dozen spirits who'd been passing underneath him in the EZ DEATH line. The spirits made muffled hisses as they dissipated, like the air let out of tires.

"Impossible!" Hades exclaimed.

"It is possible. I play with him whenever I visit the Underworld. He likes red rubber balls." Nico mused.

"Didn't mark you the type to play with pets." Will muttered.

"Shut up."

Annabeth said, "Good boy!... "Good boy." She picked up the ball, ignoring the monster spit all over it.

"But how?! How can you do that?" Hades asked. "Cereberus isn't a normal dog." He muttered.

"You'll see," Annabeth said, sharing a sad knowing look with Annie.

She turned toward us. "Go now. EZ DEATH line-it's faster." ...Please, Annabeth, I prayed. Don't tell him to sit again.

Cue the chuckles and snickers.

"I'll probably tell him to sit on you when we go on our quest. But for now, I accept your prayers." Annie mused.

"Hey!" Percy protested indignantly. "Just kidding, seaweed brain."

We made it through. Cerberus wasn't any less scary-looking from the back. ...While the monster was distracted, Annabeth walked briskly under its belly and joined us at the metal detector.

"How did she do that...?" Hades wondered.

"How did you do that?" ... When I was little, at my dad's house, we had a Doberman... ."

Annie put her head down in rememberence of the dog. Percy patted her gently on the back.

"Never mind that," Grover said, tugging at my shirt. "Come on!" ..."Good dog. I'll come visit you soon. I-I promise." Annabeth turned to us. "Let's go."

"I never completed the promise." Annabeth said sadly.

"You can ask my past-self from your universe. But only after the war. I am sure he'll take you their to play." Nico said.

She nodded her head, reassured.

Grover and I pushed through the metal detector, ... and raced into the Underworld.

"I really made it easy for you." Hades said, thoughtfully. He was wondering why he would let these three demigods reach him. Turning them into skeletons would've been better.

A few minutes later, we were hiding, out of breath, ... Grover told me. "We've learned that your plans really, really bite!"

"But Annabeth just improvised on my plan!" Percy protested.

"Don't bother to argue."

Annabeth told Grover. Percy huffed. She smiled and ruffled his hair.

I wasn't sure about that. ... everybody-even monsters-needed a little attention once in a while.

Everyone turned to look at Hades.

"I keep telling you. I don't have time for all that. It is very difficult to manage the Underworld. You wouldn't know." Hades said flatly.

"He's right." Nico nodded.

"But maybe you can atleast hire a caretaker for Cereberus? Pleeaase?" Annie asked, pleading. She did her best cute puppy face.

"That won't work on me." Hades said, wagging a finger at her.

Percy, Annie and Annabeth started glaring at Hades. "Fine," he said with a sigh. The three broke into a grin.

I thought about that as we waited for the ghouls to pass. I pretended not to see Annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of Cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend.

"I should have tried to comfort you." Percy muttered lowly.

"It would've worsened the hurt. You did the right thing." Annabeth told him.

"End of chapter." Katie said. And she handed the book to Luke.