"Where are you, Steve?"

"I'm on the plane, on my way to ..." he was going to say on the way home, but he remembered that they no longer had a "home" in common since he had a fight with her. "I'm on the plane, on my way to the base," he replied.

Catherine was the person who knew him best. In fact, she knew Steve better than Steve himself. She knew that he was feeling guilty and helpless in the face of Freddie's death, and that he felt like the loneliest man on the planet right now. And she had a generous, selfless heart, capable of letting go of any resentment about him. "When the plane lands, come home, Steve."

"Okay," he replied and she could hear the relief in his voice.

"We'll talk when you get back then."

"Thanks, Cath. Bye," he told her.

"Bye," she replied and ended the call.

Catherine also let tears flow for Freddie. She would always remember him as the always cheerful and friendly guy. Steve's best friend and an encourager of the relationship between her and her sailor. "Poor Freddie."

The next day, the night, Steve arrived. He knocked on the door even though he still had the apartment key. "Hey," he said when she opened the door.

"Hey," she replied and stepped aside so that he could enter. He went in and looked around. He had been away for more than a year. More than a year they were apart. He realized that she had placed a pillow, a sheet and a comforter on the couch. He understood the message she gave indirectly: "I accepted you back in my apartment, but not in my life, not in my bed."

Steve sighed. He knew he would have to work hard to rebuild their relationship. He put the suitcase in a corner of the laundry room and then returned to the living room.

"Do you want to have dinner?" She asked.

"No, Catherine. I ate on the plane. Thank you."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"I can't give you the details right now. It was an unofficial assignment, but I'm not going to rest until Freddie's body is rescued." Steve cried and she approached a little hesitantly and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Steve. I liked Freddie too."

"Kelly is pregnant, Cath. It's a girl, and she will never meet her father."

"I'm sorry," she repeated as they hugged.

"He died to save me. I left him there, Catherine. I feel like a horrible person and I don't know how I'm going to be able to live with this."

"Was he badly injured and had no chance of surviving?" She asked.

"He was badly hurt, he was not going to survive. He gave me a chance to escape."

"So don't blame yourself, Steve."

Steve looked her in the eye. "I chose him, Cath. The superiors told me to choose someone to take with me, and I chose him. I chose him for death and I will never forgive myself for that."

"Steve, our job is a dangerous job and we are subject to losing our lives and the lives of the people who work with us. Freddie knew that and he chose to accept his invitation. We live dangerously and Freddie was a hero. He was your hero."

"Yes, he was my hero."

A few minutes later, she convinced him to take a shower and try to get some sleep. He told her that he had been unable to sleep for three days. He fell asleep and she watched him for a few minutes. Then she went to her room and slept, but woke up in the middle of the night to his screams. He was having a nightmare. And it was repeated for days and weeks.

Almost two months later ...

Catherine came home after another day at work. She was feeling very tired because every day she woke up in the middle of the night because of Steve's nightmares. She knew it was being very difficult for him to deal with the loss of Freddie, but it was also affecting her indirectly.

She was trying to relax in the bathtub when he got home.

"Catherine, are you home?" He asked when he entered the apartment and did not see her.

"I'm in the bathtub, Steve."

He missed the time when he could go into the bathroom and join her in the bathtub. He was trying to get closer, but she always shied away. He had already asked for forgiveness and she had said she forgave him, but she did not show that she was ready to resume the relationship.

"I brought a wine. Do you want a glass?" He asked without opening the bathroom door.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

Steve put the wine in two glasses and took one for her.

"Thank you," she told him.

"Bath salts?" He asked when he smelled good.

"Yes, I bought a new fragrance."

"It's very good," he told her and left the bathroom. She still stayed in the bathtub for a while and then went to her room wrapped in a towel.

"Cath ..." he entered the room right after her.

"Hmm?"

"I know that I'm affecting you with my nightmares, and I want to apologize."

"You don't have to apologize, Steve. I just think you need professional help. Consider asking for help from a psychologist."

Steve approached her and put his hand on her face. "I don't need a psychologist, I just need you." He kissed her and she responded to his kiss passionately, but she stopped him when he tried to remove the towel from her.

"Why? I know you want that too," he whispered in her ear.

"Steve, there is something I need to tell you."

Steve looked her in the eye and waited for her to say what she wanted to say.

"I dated a person for as long as I was away," she said and waited for his reaction.

Steve was uncomfortable, but he didn't criticize her. "Are you still with him?"

"No, I'm not. But it was Billy."