.

can i exhale for a minute? / can i get this out in the open? / can i sit down for a second? / can i breathe? / can i exhale for a minute? / can we talk it out? / i don't get it / can i calm down for a moment? / can i breathe for just one second?

·

He breathes deeply, filling his lungs to the point where he feels like a balloon, able to just float away. And then the breath comes out with a whoosh, leaving Percy's shoulders relaxed and his body feeling less tense than it has in months.

School's done.

Normally when school lets out, it's a bittersweet feeling—wanting to go home, but also knowing how much he'll be missing Hogwarts in only a few days. And it still is a little, but for the most part Percy just feels overwhelming relief. Everything that has happened this past year is still rolling through his head, his dreams, permeating every thought in some dark corner.

It's getting better. Now that Luke is in Azkaban, now that most of his friends and followers who were known not to have been under the Imperius curse were expelled, the castle feels lighter. Percy can laugh with Frank and Hazel or plan pranks with the Marauders or pull an all-nighter studying for Herbology in the library without feeling that darkness, the weight that has been pressing on his chest for months. There's been a few nights where he's been able to sleep all the way through the night, not even waking up once due to a bad dream. Of course, that hasn't happened often—most nights he still wakes up thrashing, bare skin sheened with sweat, as his mind remembers the pain of the Cruciatus, the feeling of helplessness and exhaustion.

But he's getting better. They all are.

As he stands on the platform, letting the warm June sun shine down on his back, he doesn't let himself think about how the beginning of the year, Annabeth was the one waiting for him here. It's okay that things are different now. He's allowed to move on, and in all honesty, he has. It feels good, not being attached to her. Yes, if he allows himself to think about it, he does miss her—she was a part of his life for so long, of course he misses her—but he's not pining for her, or grimacing when someone says her name. He's moved on.

He steps onto the train as his friends jostle around him, their jokes and bright laughter rising into the sky, and he doesn't look back at who might be watching.

·

It's quiet at the house.

Percy remembers last summer, with the Marauders living there, and the constant noise and bustle of activity. Now it's just him and his mom—Leo and Grover have summer jobs, and Jason has an internship that his dad managed to get him with a prominent magical theatre company in London. He's happy for them, and for himself—he works at a little bakery a little down the street from the movie theatre, and it's good. Every day is soft, and gentle, and he feels every part of him healing—mentally, physically, everything. The magic of the sunny skies and salty breezes, the sunset walks with his mom every night, the food she stuffs into him and the muscle he's regaining from daily runs in the morning before work. All of it works in tandem to bring him back together, the little pieces of him that were still shattered joining again.

He'll never be the same, he knows. Last summer he was so wild, so innocent, so unaware of the evil that could permeate the world, permeate a person, and so naïve to the effect it could have on him. Maybe it's a good thing—he treasures looking back on that innocence, the ability to look at the world and see only the good, the potential in people.

But while he's aware of the evil now, the bad parts of people that could turn ugly so quickly, Percy also still has some faith in the world. It's built by the old man walking his dog who says hello to him every morning on his runs, the girl who works in the candy shop across the street who winks at him and leaves a little bag of jellybeans on the counter every time she comes into the bakery when he's working. It's fueled by his boss, a sweet older lady who misses her grandchildren and takes it out on him, making him her official taste-tester for every new confectionary delight she comes up with. It comes from the friends he makes on the beach on the weekends, the guys who go surfing every and try unsuccessfully to teach him, the little kids on holiday that he teaches the correct way to build a drip castle (because there is a correct way, thank you very much).

It's built by people, good, hardworking people who live their lives and give a little bit of joy to those around them, no matter how brief. Percy remembers the bad but makes a point to breathe in the good, the generosity and kindness and the puzzle pieces that make up what everyday love looks like.

He loves his job, and his town, and his mom.

Of course, even with all that, he's not complaining when the Marauders come to stay for a week, taking a little time off their jobs and internships to spend time with him. He knows that if it was a normal summer, they might not, but because of everything that happened they made it a priority. And he loves it—loves the boisterous nights after they arrive, game nights and beach days and laughing at Grover's sunburn lines.

After a few days, the four boys decide to go to London to see a show. It's being put on by the company Jason's interning for, and he assures them that it's worth the trip. Percy doesn't really love theatre, but just being with the Marauders in London sounds like a good time to him, so he readily agrees.

Sally fusses over their outfits, fluffing their hair and kissing their foreheads. Percy groans and pretends to hate it, but feels his heart bursting with love for her, and his reluctant grin when she makes him put roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt and checks the cuffs on his nice jeans shows it.

They clean up pretty good, he decides as he looks around at his friends. It's going to be a good night.

"Ready to go?" Jason asks, fretting with his cuffs.

Percy nods, giving one last hug to his mom. "Let's do it," he says, and steps into the fireplace.

The floo takes them to the middle of downtown London. The bustle of the city shocks Percy for a minute, after being in a tiny town for almost a month, but it's a good kind of shock. He breathes in the smells of the city and then follows his friends down the road as Jason leads, weaving through the crowd outside the theatre to get them in.

They enter the huge auditorium, the lights on the stage dimmed as the hum of a thousand muffled conversations rises in the air. Most people have already gotten their seats—"Maybe if you hadn't taken so long in the bathroom, we would have gotten here earlier," Grover hisses at Leo, who shrugs and says something in Spanish that Percy assumes is better left not understood—but Jason leads them expertly to their row in a matter of seconds despite the crowd.

Percy had been so caught up in marveling at the huge theatre that he didn't even realize Piper was waiting for them. He watches Jason kiss her in greeting before taking off to say hello to someone else, and then Piper comes up and hugs him.

Percy feels her breath tickle his neck as she squeezes him. "I'm glad you came," she murmurs, and he smiles, soft.

"Me too."

And then he looks up and Annabeth's right behind her, looking just as shocked as he is. He smiles tightly at her and she returns it, her twisting hands the only sign of uncomfortableness.

Jason returns and sends them all a winning smile. "Shall we?" he asks, gesturing to the row of seats. Percy nods and goes in first, Leo and Grover following him. He's thankful for it—he's good with Annabeth here, or at least he keeps telling himself that he is, but the extra space between them is helpful. She ends up being all the way on the other end, and though the tension is thick between the two of them, the rest of the gang doesn't seem to notice. Leo starts prattling about the time he was in a musical when he was younger, and Grover starts adding nerdy tidbits about the play they're about to see. Percy allows himself to be swept up in it, distracting himself on purpose from the familiar jasmine scent that had caught his attention as he brushed past the girls to get to his seat, or the thought that just a year ago, they would have been next to each other, making jokes about the actors or dirty comments too quiet for the others to hear.

The lights finally dim and the play begins, and Percy really does enjoy it, gets caught up in the story and the music. He only glances over to the end of the row once, and sees Annabeth's face, dimly lit from the stage lights, the glow of happiness as she watches the play unfold radiating from her.

She's happier without you, a little voice whispers. You've got to let her go.

I have, Percy argues with the voice, the sounds on stage dimming in his head as he tries to shoves the intruding thoughts away. I don't love her anymore. We're not even friends. What more can I do to let her go?

The voice tries to say more, but Percy shuts it up. He doesn't care, doesn't want to know. He's over her, over the whole situation. The play drags him back into the story, and he doesn't look over again.

The play ends with loud applause, and Percy heartily joins in, whistling to show his support of the actors and the tech crew. Jason looks very pleased with their reactions, and Percy can hear him eagerly explaining things to Piper as they start filing out of the crowded theatre.

They head into the dark street outside through an employee exit that Jason leads them through as it empties into an alley next to the theatre instead of getting them through the packed crowd towards the front. Percy's last through the door and is too lost in his own thoughts to realize that Annabeth is the only one waiting for him when he steps out, the other Marauders and Piper ahead of them. At first he thinks it's an accident, but then he sees Piper whisper something to Jason, sees Grover's anxious glance back at them and Leo grabbing his elbow to pull him faster, and he understands.

They're trying to give the two of them some space, some room to finally talk. Percy is a little frustrated at them, at his friends for thinking they have the right to decide when he'll be ready to talk to Annabeth again instead of letting him make that decision, but then he reluctantly realizes that he probably wouldn't have done that for himself. Besides, it's too late to do anything about it, as Annabeth gazes at the ground awkwardly and Percy crosses his arms, needing something to do with his hands.

"I—" Annabeth begins after a few seconds of painful silence, just as Percy says, "Do you—" and they both stop with nervous chuckles.

"I asked them to go on without us," Annabeth continues, and Percy can see, even in the dim light, the color rising to her face. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you, and I—"

Anger mounts in his chest, hot and quick and unexpected. "And you what, Chase? Wanted to talk to me about how you abandoned me for three months? How your boyfriend tortured and almost killed me? How you have no explanation for any of that, other than a stupid kiss with Rachel Dare that wasn't even what it looked like?"

Annabeth's eyebrows arch, her voice hot. "Well, I was going to say I haven't had the chance to explain, but—"

"But what? There's nothing you could say that would… that would explain your actions."

"Um, maybe if you'd give me a chance to at least give you my side of the story, you would understand!" Annabeth returns, her voice icy, and Percy gets a flashback to before, those first couple weeks when if she spoke to him at all her voice was like ice, and then he hears Luke in his head and a pain in his limbs and he starts shaking, nearly falling to the cobblestones beneath him—

And then there are cool hands on his forearms, steadying him, and a soft voice telling him to breathe, to breathe, to breathe, and so he does.

When he opens his eyes again, he sees an expression on Annabeth's face—inches from his own as she holds him up—that he hasn't seen in a long time. Pain and anger still twist the edges of her features, but there's a softness there, a hint of—something, something that makes him pause and hits a secret part of his chest like a dart hitting a corkboard.

"Breathe," she says again, and her voice is soft, shaky, warm. He breathes.

She eventually releases his arms long enough to let him slide to the ground, the back of the building wall behind him and his head resting on his knees. He feels, more than sees, her sit next to him—far enough away to give him space, close enough that he can feel her shaky breathing, the pounding of her heart, her sundress rustling as she wipes her sweaty palms.

It's a few quiet minutes as they both lean against the wall and breathe. Neither of them speak—Percy doesn't know what to say. His heart is pounding with a thousand words, a thousand feelings, and he has no idea how to express any of them when the blood is still hot in his cheeks and Luke's cruel laugh is playing on a loop in his head.

"I'm sorry," she breathes, so quiet he can barely hear it. Her voice cracks, just a murmur. "I'm so sorry."

And that's when—that's why—he decides. That crack in her voice, the whispered apology. Another piece of him falls back into place.

He waits another beat, and then he asks—"Do you want to meet again?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I mean…" Percy takes a deep breath. "Get coffee with me. I owe you the chance to explain your side of the story. Even after everything, I—" he doesn't know how to go on, and she saves him from having to explain by nodding.

"Yeah. I think—I think that would be good."

The noose around his heart loosens, just a bit, and Luke's phantom laugh in his head dims. Percy can hear the noises of the city again—the bus horns and crowded pubs and the laughter of people only a hundred feet away, in the light of the busy street that doesn't quite reach them in the darkened corners of the alley.

He nods, clasping his hands in front of him, his forearms still resting on his knees. "Alright then."

"Alright," Annabeth echoes, and she meets his eyes—maybe for the first time since the conversation had started.

He can barely see her face in the dark, but he says again, soft. "Alright."

·

hey guys, quick reminder that i've already said numerous times that i'm not abandoning this story, so sending me numerous reviews and private messages nagging me to update isn't going to do anything but make me annoyed :)

in all seriousness though, thank you for the other people who sent me well wishes and encouragement. i appreciate every single one of you sm

sorry for the long wait (except i'm not really because i warned y'all lol) school's ending in a week and a half ! so i may or may not have more time to write since i will be working all summer. i'm not gonna promise any soon updates but i will do my best. (but please don't nag me please please)

hope everyone has a good week ! lmk what you think of this chapter :)

wm