Author's note: Damn! This chapter just did not want to end.
Michael was standing over the sink in his little kitchen, washing the dishes silently. The fire in the background crackled, dying out, and Michael could relate. He sighed, rinsed his hands, wiped them with a kitchen rag, then turned to go feed the fire. The last two months were... Hard. Maybe it would have been easier if it wasn't winter, if it wasn't so cold out there and in here and all around. Well, it would have been warmer with another body to share the bed with instead of sleeping alone, but there was nothing he could do about that, no matter how much he wanted to.
As he watched the fire catch on once again, aided by old dried branches pushed down onto the ember by a bigger log, Michael couldn't help but think about Dean. It was all he ever thought about. How was he doing? Was he having a hard time, or did he already forget about Michael? Did it get easier for him with each day that passed? Or was it getting harder and harder, like it was the case with Michael?
Did he go back to hunting? Was he on the hunt right now? What if he got hurt? Would Castiel be there to help? Maybe he was home? At the bunker? Maybe at the kitchen, fixing himself a meal? Or lounging in his room, in his bed? Resting, sleeping, reading? What was he doing?
Michael just about soaked his hands up when a knock on the door made him pause. Who could it be? Here? At this hour? Michael stared at the door, as if he could X-ray through them, but nowadays even the angels had trouble sensing things, much less a human like him. He stared and when nothing happened, Michael sighed, thinking he must have imagined it. What was it they say? Wishful thinking?
He nearly jumped out of his skin when a second, louder knock came. So he wasn't imagining it. Michael walked to the door and with a curious look on his face, he opened it. His eyes widened, and he gasped, because unlike the readers of this story, he didn't expect to see Dean there. Instinctively he took a step back, staring into those vibrant green eyes, his breathing coming in short gulps of air. "DDdean?"
Dean scoffed, narrowing his eyes at Michael, then opened his mouth and clicked his jaw, sizing him up. "I forgot you can talk." He said before he sighed. "You gonna invite me in?"
"Of... Of course." Michael said, not blinking, and did nothing more then take a few steps back. Two more and his leg would have caught on fire. Dean walked in, eyes locked on Michael, completely ignoring the wide-open door. Michael wanted to say something, anything, not look like a damn fool, tongue-tied and surprised. Maybe offer him a seat or something to drink, or eat or his bed, his heart, his new-found soul? His life on a silver platter?
"Ain't you gonna offer me a drink?" Dean said and Michael nodded, both of them unmoving, just staring at one another. A few moments passed, the only sound was Michael's chest heaving and the heavy beat of his heart pulsing in his ears.
"Did you mean it?" Dean suddenly asked, more like blurted out, because he seemed to frown at his own hastiness. He took a deep breath, let it out and continued. "All the things you though. The things you wanted to say, but didn't? Did you mean it?" His eyes were so reserved and hopeful at the same time, it hurt to see that combination of emotions in those beautiful green eyes.
"Yes." Michael rushed to say, anything, he would do anything to wipe that look in those eyes, much less tell the truth. There was no point in lying. It was difficult to say those things out loud, but not because he didn't want Dean to know, it was more like he didn't think Dean needed that burden on top of everything else he had in his life. Or maybe he was just coward. He was one ten years ago, it wouldn't be so difficult guess he was one now too.
Dean's eyes narrowed a bit and he took a few step closer, Michael inching back towards the kitchen. "Jack... He showed you all that?" Michael asked, uncertain of what that look morphed into. He did tell Dean that if the hunter ever thought of him as a threat, he would know where to find him, but that couldn't be why he was here now, could it?
It occurred to him that if Dean drew a knife right now, Michael would bare his throat, ready to die. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do to ease Dean's pain.
"Yeah, the kid's a full fledged angel again... And more..." Dean said, still nearing closer, Michael still backing away, why, he didn't know. "But you already know that. You asked him to let you dreamwalk in my mind." Dean said, his tone slightly accusing. Michael managed to back himself up to the sink, his breathing hitching again, with Dean so close, he could smell him, that combination of gunpowder from Dean's favourite gun, leather from his Baby and something sweet, something baked as an undertone of his scent. It was making him feel dizzy as hell.
"I... I wanted to..."
"What?" Dean's tone was deep an rough. "You wanted to - what? Explain? Tell me something Cas or Jack could have told me about what happened. So what did you really want?" Dean asked, closing in, leaning forward, boxing Michael in with both his hands set on the edge of the sink.
"I... I..." Michael was almost panting now, tears prickling in his eyes because he wouldn't blink, couldn't look away, couldn't break that eye contact. Because of he did, he just might find himself alone in his cabin again, might find that he imagined this whole thing.
"What? Tell me." Dean said, his tongue darting out to lick his dry lips.
"I wanted... I..."
"What?" Dean repeated leaning closer, so close Michael could feel his breath on his lips.
"I..."
"Tell me..." The hunter whispered into Michael's lips.
"I wanted to... To talk to you. To see you again. One last time."
"Is that so?" Dean asked leaning in impossibly close, Michael stopped breathing all together.
"Yyyes."
"You thought you wouldn't see me ever again?" There, he was right there, so close and yet too far away, his words nothing but a breath in Michael's mouth.
"No... I... I still... I'm still not sure you're real." Michael finally confessed, defeat evident in his voice, eyes falling closed. He was shaking, overwhelmed with this confrontation, unsure of the outcome. Was Dean there to kill him? Was he there to have fun with Michael and then walk away? Was he there to try and build something with Michael? Was he even really there?
Soft lips pressed against his and Michael gasped, startled, his eyes snapping open for only a moment. Dean took the opportunity to push on, to press his tongue inside and lick into Michael's open mouth. He tasted so sweet, so like Dean, so familiar, so good. The hunter pressed his entire body against Michael's, the feeling of his warmth caused him to shudder. His mind was going thousand miles per second, his heart seemed just as fast, making Michael feel lightheaded.
All too soon the lips departed, and Michael opened his eyes, drunk on the taste, high on the feel, eager for more.
"Was that real enough for you?" Dean asked with a smirk, but his brows shot up when he heard the response.
"No."
Michael didn't hear the word real in that sentence, so, no, that wasn't enough for him. He wanted more, so much more. Dean huffed a laugh at his response, shaking his head, because he could see just how much this whole thing was affecting Michael. He might have been one stoic archangel, but when it came to human emotions, he was an open book.
Dean paused, looked him over for a moment before rushing forward, crashing his lips with Michael's again. The gasp yet again allowed his tongue to slip inside, a lot more competitive and forceful, making Michael weak in the knees. He definitely would have fallen, if Dean hadn't pressed his body flush against Michael's, one hand on his hip, the other around his neck, keeping him steady and firmly in place.
After a few minutes, or way too soon, by Michael's account, Dean pulled away again. "How about now?" He asked with a smile, and Michael paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts and trying to figure out what Dean was talking about, because all his mind was producing was a string of DeanDeanDeanDeanDean.
The former archangel, the once mightiest of Heaven's warriors and General of the Angelic army gulped and looked so sheepish when he replied "No."
"No?" Dean asked looking baffled for a moment before he caught on. "Oh, no?"
"No. I am still not convinced, sorry."
Of course Dean kissed him again, and of course it made him feel dizzy and nice and good. It was amazing and unbelievable and wonderous to be able to do this again, so much so, that Michael just stood there and allowed Dean to roam his mouth, every once in a while assisting the slide of the hunter's tongue against his, but not much else.
It was that lack of touch that probably made Dean stop and take a step back, much to Michael's dismay. Like the former archangel, Dean was panting too, his pupils dilated, his eyes hungry and his lips kiss swollen, but still, he stopped. Why did he stop?
"I am... We... We shouldn't do this." He said. Just when Michael was ready to fall apart completely, Dean continued. "Not yet. We... Fuck. We need to talk first." The readers must be thinking 'Who is this guy and what has he done to our beloved Dean Winchester? Because Dean Winchester doesn't do chick-flick moments!', right?
"You already know how I feel." Michael replied.
"Yeah, well, maybe I want to express myself too?" Dean shot back, but it didn't sound as angry as it probably should have been. Michael nodded and waited. Dean glanced at him, then turned around, taking a deep breath, before releasing it and facing Michael once again. Still, he said nothing.
He turned around, walked to the door, shut them so as to keep the cold out, turned to face Michael and said nothing. He walked back to the dining table, glanced down at the fruit bowl, then back at Michael, then downward again and said nothing.
"You do know I can't sense your emotions, I am not an archangel anymore." Michael offered.
"Yeah, I know! I know, alright? It's just... I..." Dean tried, getting stuck again.
"What is it that you want?" That was apparently the wrong question to ask because Dean's eyes snapped up at Michael, wide and filled with fear before the hunter blinked and shook it off. Michael watched as he took a few deep breaths before looking up at him again.
"Are you... Was that all you? Was that man, was 'Mike' the real you? Because if it was, that is what I want."
"If you are asking whether Mike is who I am, whether that was my true self, I can assure you it was. Every bit of it." Every embarrassing bit too. was left unspoken, because Michael really didn't think him being a virgin was something that needed to be mentioned right now.
Dean's eyes searched his for a long time, trying to find a lie. When he couldn't find anything, Dean huffed out a "Fuck it!", turned and crashed into Michael again, roughly grabbing him and pulling him into a kiss, not that Michael minded. His own hands finally reached out, no longer fearful of being rejected, instead wanting to reassure Dean, to let him know Michael wanted him too, very much so.
It wasn't much of a surprise that things escalated quickly, both of them wanting, needing to feel the other close, as close as possible. Dean took the initiative and guided them towards the well known bedroom and into a well known bed.
With each item of clothing discarded and more skin revealed, Michael was quickly loosing himself in Dean, in his touches and his kisses and he tried, he tried so hard to reciprocate, but he couldn't focus, he couldn't get himself to do any of the things he wanted except let Dean take him higher and higher.
He whined at the loss when Dean stood up, shuddered when he removed Michael's briefs, hummed hungrily when Dean removed his own, started panting as Dean crawled back on top of him and came as soon as Dean's cock slotted next to his.
"Oh, fuck." Michael actually thought he said it, but it was Dean, swept away but the feel of something warm and slippery around his cock. Michael made a pathetic little sound and hid his face behind his hands. "Well, that was..."
"... Too fast. I know. I'm sorry, I..."
"I was gonna say empowering. The effect I have on you..." Dean said, then leaned in for a quick kiss, trailing his lips over Michael's jaw and down his neck next. Michael's breath hitched again, and he bared his throat submissively, loving that effect Dean had on him. Loving every moment of all of this. His dick softened, but only to a semi, too aroused by Dean's cock sliding next to it, through all that mess Michael made. "Fuck, that's so... You're so..." Dean's hot breath on his skin sent goosebumps down his arms and his back. He could tell by Dean's rugged breaths that the hunter was close to the edge himself, but Michael didn't want this to be over just yet. He wanted to feel Dean's hands on him some more, that special kind of sexual touch Dean was so skilled at, those wet kisses with teeth grazing just a bit, leaving him breathless and intoxicating. He wanted Dean's warmth, pressed against his whole body, enveloping him in that loving, caring way.
"Deeeaaan." He whined, too embarrassed or scared to dare to ask, to beg for more, but it seemed as if this was enough to affect Dean, making his kisses a bit more heated, his movements a bit more faster and his touches just on the right side of rough.
"Fuck. Fuck. What you do to me..." The hunter tried, calming himself back down, clearly much more in control then Michael thought. Dean buried his head in the man's shoulder and just breathed for a while, Michael wasn't sure what to do or say. He really didn't want him to pull away, to stop, but he feared that was exactly what Dean would do. All of that was swept away with Dean's next words. " I want you. I want to feel you..."
"Yes!" Michael rushed to say, and could feel the huff of laughter Dean let out before the hunter raised his head to meet Michael's gaze.
"You do see the irony in this, right?"
"I don't care. I just care about you." Michael said, turning Dean's amused grin into a much more serious face. "You want my body, you got it. You want control, you got it. Anything you want. Anything." Michael added, but it was the part that he didn't say that prompted Dean to ask:
"And in return?"
"Stay. Stay with me. Or take me with you." Michael almost whispered. He hated how pathetic he sounded, but it was the truth Michael didn't want to hide from Dean anymore. Yes, he knew well he had abandonment issues, and he suspected Dean had too, but that just served to make them more compatible.
Dean's response was to kiss him fiercely, hold him tight and practically wrap himself around Michael, pressing down on him. It felt incredible, to be able to feel all those unspoken emotions in the hunter's kiss, to feel them and to know he will never leave. To know for certain that Dean felt the same as he did. So Michael kissed back, he kissed back just as hard, just as strong, just as caring and reassuring and loving and needy.
"Dean..." Michael moaned, arousal spreading through him once again, because Dean was right there, touching him just right, kissing him just the right way to awoke that spark up again.
"Still got that lube in the drawer?" Dean asked after he backed away a bit, to calm down and drag himself away from that edge. Without waiting for Michael's answer, he reached, opened the drawer and 'a-ha!'-ed. With a smile he turned to face Michael, the smile instantly dropping at the hooded look Michael must have given him. He wanted it, he wanted to feel Dean like that, to feel that connection and to... To see Dean in complete rapture over him.
The smallest movement of Michael's legs made Dean's eyes snap down at them, then back up at Michael, the hunter licking his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he lowered himself back down, his thick cock slotting next to Michael's again, making the former angel arch his back, hungry for more, and moaned so obscenely, he immediately flushed rose red.
Every touch of Dean's fingers was like a tiny jolt of electricity, cruising through Michael's body, making him let out these embarrassing sounds that Dean apparently loved to hear, and would almost always repeat his previous action, just to hear it again. The feeling of Dean's slicked fingers around his rim wasn't an unfamiliar sensation, but still made him gasp, because this time, this time he knew they moved with a purpose.
Sure, it was just as pleasurable as it was when Dean played with him before, teasing while planting kisses over his shoulder and up his neck, but it was different this time. Less playful and more meaningful. Dean's eyes bore into his as the hunter kneeled between his legs, one hand kneading the thighs, the other circling his rim.
The very first breach of Dean's finger was such a strange feeling. Strange, yet thrilling, because as old as the first archangel was, this was something he had yet to discover. Dean's finger started slowly pulling out, then going back in, and it felt good. He didn't know why, he couldn't explain it, but it did.
The addition of more lube and another finger only made it better, more pleasurable and just... More. It was evident by how hard his cock was, standing erect and leaking one bead after another of precome, drawing Dean's attention, and making him lick his lips.
"I'm gonna do something, show you something, and it is gonna feel really nice, but try not to come." Dean said and thank fuck he did, because if he curled his fingers without the warning, Michael's dick would have exploded. He screamed, hands fisting the sheets because holy hell, that was blindly good, incredible.
"You liked that, huh? I'm not gonna do it again, not now, because I can tell you are close." Dean said and leaned forward to kiss him, making Michael reel in, and relax a bit.
"I'll last." Michael said as Dean broke the kiss, making the hunter smirk.
"You sure? Cause if I..."
"Don't!" Michael shouted, knowing that if Dean did that again, if he put pressure on his prostate again, he most definitely would come. Dean chuckled knowingly, continuing to work his fingers in and out of Michael. Soon he added the third, and then the fourth, slowly stretching him open.
"Deaaaan..." Michael returned to being a moaning, shivering mess, while Dean kept at it, watching him with hooded eyes. "Deeaaannn... Please." Michael whined, wanting, needing more.
Dean pulled the fingers out, arranging Michael the best he saw fit, with a pillow under his lower back and with legs stretched wide open, before he positioned himself, pausing with the head of his cock just at Michael's entrance.
"You ready?"
"Yes." Michael's response was but a breath, not because of the lack of certainty, only due to the delirium he was slowly sinking into.
Dean pushed in, inch by inch, and with every inch, his eyes falling more and more closed as his mouth dropping more and more open. When he bottomed out, that's when he finally breathed out.
"You're... You're so big." Michael said, making Dean's eyes snap open, searching and locking onto Michael's, concerned.
"Does it hurt?"
"No. But it's so big." Michael responded, the green of his eyes nothing but a small ring around his dilated pupils. Dean huffed a small laugh.
"You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself, you know that?"
"Only you."
"What?"
"Only you. Not any otherguy."
Michael didn't know it, but he was pushing just the right buttons with Dean, not really worried about the lack of response. As long as Dean was with him, that's all that mattered. Dean started moving, slowly at first, dragging his big cock over that special spot, and with the first harder thrust, Michael came again, untouched, clenching around Dean.
"Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck!!" Dean shouted out, stilling his motions, but Michael wasn't done, not yet. Still riding the waves of his own orgasm, he gripped Dean's arms, pulled him down on top of himself, then snaked his hands back to the swell of the hunter's ass, and pulled him closer. "Fuuuck."
"More, Dean. More." Michael whined and Dean started moving again, driving faster and harder into the willing body underneath him.
"I...I... Ooohhh..." Dean moaned, finally letting himself go. Michael wanted to urge him on, but whatever words he could speak didn't seem right at that moment.
"I... I need... I..." Dean tried, lossing his breath.
"What? What do you need?"
"Tell me... Tell me you..." Dean tried, pushing in and pulling out, fast and hard, but still not getting there, no matter how much he tried.
If you asked Michael how he knew what Dean wanted, what he needed to hear, Michael would only shrug and say he didn't know how he knew.
"I do. I do, Dean. I love you. I want you, I need you. I love you." With a loud shout that mid way through morphed into a low moan, Dean came, filling Michael with all he had, shaking through it all and Michael held him, held him tight and rode it out with him.
"You... You..." Dean said after he collapsed on top of Michael, the former angel taking all of his weight with just a huffed breath. His hand stroked the hunter's back, then slowly moved to caress through his hair.
"I know. I am not sure if you believe me, but I do love you Dean. Even as an archangel I loved you..."
"Back then, I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was different, everything changed the moment I laid my eyes on you. I told you I didn't want to do it, any of it, but that I had to, because my Father said so, and I am a good son. Everything else I said afterwards, all that crap about free will being an illusion and how we were destined to fight and kill our brothers... That was more me trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by choosing my Father. I really believed if I was good enough, he would return."
"I am sorry. I am so sorry. I never meant for any of it, I never wanted... I was relieved when you wouldn't say yes. If I... I don't know what would have happened if I took you. I was so glad it was Adam, though I am sorry it had to be him, I am more glad it wasn't you."
"When Sam... When he snatched control away from Lucifer, I dove into that cage with them on purpose. To try and protect Sam and to... To get away. I was so lost. So confused. I wanted to help you, do what you wanted to do, to disobey my Father and it scared me. The things I was willing to do for a mere human being."
"But I know now. I see it now. I am sorry I didn't understand back then, but I do now. And I love you. I do. I didn't want to tell you before because I was afraid, I saw that look in your eyes and I... I don't think I could have handled an outright rejection. So I walked away, because I thought it would be easier for you. And because it was easier for me."
The whole time Michael spoke, pouring his heart out, Dean's face was hidden in the crook of Michael's neck, and maybe not having to see the emotions in those green eyes made it so that Michael could say it all.
Silence filled the room as dread filled Michael. Should he have said it all? Should he have kept his mouth shut? Was Dean even awake?
A few minutes later, Dean moved, turning his head towards Michael without even lifting it.
"You talk too much." He said and a Michael cried out a laugh, so relieved that Dean spoke, even if it was to joke. The hunter lifted his head and propped it on his hand, looking back at Michael, studying him.
"Can we just... Forget about all of that?"
"Of course."
"Not that I... Not that I want to ignore what happened, but... It's complicated, and I just... A lot of other shit happened in the ten years since you took that dive. And I... I finally let myself feel something and I let someone in, and... You don't know... You can't see the irony in this. In us." Dean started, huffed and fell back on the bed, moving slightly away from Michael, but not completely, staring up at the ceiling.
"There was... There was another you. Another Michael, from a different world. And Lucifer, he took Sam and Jack and I... I said yes." Michael gasped silently, but said nothing, allowing Dean to keep going.
"He screwed me over. We had a deal and he broke it. And he..." Dean trailed off, clearly unable to continue. Michael wanted to scream, to cry, to shout, to find that asshole and pulverize him with his bare hands. But he also wanted to hold Dean, to at least set a comforting hand over Dean's, but he couldn't do either. He didn't know if he was allowed to.
After a moment, Dean turned and looked at Michael again. "I know you're not him. You're... Huh. You're too kind. Too sweet. I just... I want to get to know you, and not think about him. Not think about the angels and the apocalypse and Chuck, all that shit from the past... I just... Fuck."
"I fell for you. I fell for Mike. And I know you're more than that, I don't want to ignore any part of you, but I do want to focus on this. On the now. Is that... Is that okay?" Dean asked and Michael stared at him for a moment, comprehending what Dean was saying.
The hunter must have thought that his past was the thing Michael was considering, and not his other words.
"You... You fell for me?" Michael asked, and Dean huffed a laugh, shaking his head.
"That all you got from what I said?"
"That's all that matters." Michael deadpanned. "It's not that I want to ignore what that other me did to you, but you said it yourself - focus on this. Now. Right?"
"Right."
"So?"
"So?" Dean echoed.
"You fell for me?"
"Did I?"
Michael punched him lightly on the shoulder for that, and Dean laughed again. "Alright. I did. I fell in love with you. With the way you took care of me and then later... Letting me take care of you. Letting me show you everything and still you made sure that I am... Taken care of too? You know what I mean."
"We complete each other."
"Don't be a sap."
"No, I meant, we compliment each other. We fit. Like a hand and a glove. A pot and a lid. Like Schwarzenegger and a machine gun."
Dean burst out laughing, covering his eyes with his hand.
"We have gotta update your movie collection."
Michael used the moment Dean was distracted and not looking to quickly lean forward and kiss the hunter, because he could. Dean was startled by this, but had a wide grin when Michael pulled back.
"We really should get up and shower, or risk getting permanently getting stuck on these sheets."
"I wouldn't say no to a shower with you." Michael replied as Dean peeled himself off the bed. The hunter looked at him, huffing yet another laugh and shaking his head. Michael got up too.
"Of course you wouldn't, you horny bastard." Dean said as he watched Michael pull out two pair of clean briefs and two T-shirts.
"Hey. Takes one to know one." Michael threw back and walked passed Dean towards the bathroom, wiggling his bare ass. Dean never laughed so hard.
The end
Author's note: I am dying to know what you thought of this story.