Chapter 30
Haze
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, only my own OC's, Energy Magic, and Ideas
.:+:.
The world was a blur, there were lights and splashes of gray color that broke through intermittently, her body feeling like it was bobbing on the surface of a roiling ocean. Small bits of reality came so close, but yet stayed so far away as the world moved past her and she remained motionless, her body engulfed in a terrible, heavy ache and her lungs and chest worse so. Her head was in a blurry, swirling haze- her senses, the sounds, the muddied shapes and colors, everything- all of it was so close she could almost make a little sense of it, but it was never enough... It was just distorted, and fragmented. She couldn't focus, her mind was slipping in and out, nonstop, plunging her under space and shadow and fragmented recants of memory and nightmare and... And water...
The suffocating sensation of drowning under the waves came and went without end, never lasting long enough to fully form the nightmare, but never gone either. It remained fractured and subdued along with sounds that seemed they could be fragments of words, but they were so far off she couldn't make sense of them... Hell, she couldn't make sense of anything.
She couldn't even put together what was going on, what happened, any of it... Everything was in a wild, sickening, swirling storm of nonsensical images and feelings.
What had happened...?
She remembered faintly little bits of what had gone on, the Tower and the Door, the dread and the fear and the burning sensation that had gripped her... She remembered the heat and then the cold, the dark throes of the water she'd gotten dragged into, and the terror that came with it. She remembered not being able to breathe, or being able to settle... She remembered the Thunder Legion faintly, the little assurances- but that bit was quite fractured... Everything toward that end was really... Really...
... I don't... I can't... Remember it...?
... What happened... After... Laxus...?
... My... Chest... Hurt... I couldn't... Breathe...
... My heart... Was...
... Why is everything after that... So dark...?
... I can't remember it... Just...
There were shapes and things that made no sense, her eyes wouldn't open hardly at all though she tried to force them to. She tried to force herself to move too, for her mind to clear enough to make sense of things- but it was all so impossible. Her body felt heavy, like a million pounds and so much so she couldn't have been bobbing up and down the waves of reality and distorted nothingness like she was... She should have sunk a long time ago, but her body was both heavy as hell and utterly, nauseatingly, weightless.
Blurry, smudged blotches of non-color flitted across her line of sight- her sight that was not so much sight, as it was a wall of disjointed nothing mixed with darker, more disjointed nothing... Moving here and there every once in awhile, sure- and just like the lights.
... Those... Are those... People...?
Are they... Those voices... They sound... Familiar...
"... ere... some m..."
"... est... Keep her... Until..."
The whispers and murmurs were too far off, many different voices saying things she couldn't hear, nor make out. She had no clue what was being said, and she had no clue who it was, where it was, how many- nothing. All she could tell was that they were there, and they sounded familiar, but she couldn't put them to names or faces.
... Ugh... I can't... Make them out... They're all... Muffled... Far away...
... I know those... Voices... But... Why can't I... Put them... Together...?
... Why do I feel... So heavy... And...
... Dizzy...
...why can't I focus...?
She grimaced, trying to force her eyes open and managing it- but it did little good, the light was blinding and nothing would come into focus. She tried to push herself up, to maybe help clear her head a bit, or angle the blinding light differently- but pushing down with her arms brought fiery pain searing through her shoulder, and what little she'd managed to push herself up was instantly destroyed.
She was saved slamming back onto whatever she was laying on though. Something grabbed her, held her steady and eased her back instead of letting her crash back down... And then that something kept firm hold of her, pinning her down even when she reflexively tried to push against it... and whatever it was, it was warm.
She didn't realize until that instant how cold she felt, or register the shivers racking her body- in that instant it all managed to break though the haze in her mind, and she shuddered harshly, her body rattling painfully under it.
... I'm... Freezing...
... How can I be... Freezing...?
... And what the hell... Is... Holding me down...?
"... Stop, you need to stay still..."
This voice was closer, and much clearer for it, unlike the rest she hadn't been able to make out beforehand. She scrunched her eyes closed hard, hoping it would help dull down the glare of the light and let her focus on whoever that voice belonged to... Whoever it was whose hands were persistent on pushing her a tad further into the bed, and long enough to make her give up trying to move anymore. All she managed to make out was some bulky shadow to her left when she tried to focus her vision, and whoever it was kept on with their hands... So she did give up trying to fight, it had been hard enough to try moving to start with- but now with the shivering, and her vision not bothering to clear- her head whirled and she was way too dizzy to even think about trying anymore. She grit her teeth slightly, stifling the shaky hiss that threatened to slip passed her teeth, and letting her eyes drop closed heavily again.
She was dizzy, and her body was heavy, and everything ached... Her shoulder and wrist were throbbing now and she couldn't figure out why- but more than that?
... Why... Am I so fucking... Cold...?
The shivers were overtaking even the dizziness now, and the throbbing. She cringed for it, and hated the way the hands moved away from her took what little warmth they afforded with them. But the chilly sensation that came with them leaving got halted almost right away when something got pulled over her shivering form, engulfing her in the soft, thick folds of some sort of blanket. She relaxed a tad for it, a shaky sigh escaping her as she felt her mind quickly slipping back to that endless bobbing up and down in between wakefulness, and distorted reality.
"... Go back to sleep, Frea..."
The world got lost on her entirely then, the words quiet and nearly too soft to hear before she lost her focus all the way. There was no making sense of anything, and her mind seemed to want to quit trying anymore- so instead she got plunged downward into sheer black and total silence...
.:+:.
... Well, almost total silence.
She heard the thunder roll overhead, felt the reverberation through her core... But it wasn't right, it felt subdued, it didn't hit her all the way... She was numb to it.
She felt their bodies fall apart under her hands, she heard their screaming, pleading, crying- but all of that was muffled too. She knew they were in pain, she knew they were terrified, breaking... But she didn't feel it, she felt nothing... She felt...
Another one fell, right in front of her, their body torn in two, their armor shattered, swords clattering to the ground... She fell in a mess among the many, her hair as red as the blood so thick on her hands... Thick but...
... It's... Cold... Cold like... Everything... I'm cold... Numb...
She swept her arm out, slow, purposeful, an ocean of terrible pitch black following her quake and tearing through the next few. They screamed, blood washing up into the air and falling like rain, adding to the dozens of oozing pools and puddles already littered about. There were countless of them, bodies torn apart and blasted through, holes in their chests, blood dripping from the wounds, from their mouths, their bones shattered... They were all mangled, twisted, and their faces filled with horror... Betrayal...
The streets were flooding in red, the stone roadways torn up, the buildings crumbling, ash and fire heavy on the air. It was complete chaos, a massacre, and she was just... Walking through it all, unfeeling, unbothered... The faces pale and bloody and blurred... But... Familiar...?
Her slow march through the mayhem slowed up, quiet and still, standing in place and looking around slowly, her eyes dull. She looked back around, glancing among the mangled flesh in a world so hazy and so far away... Small things poked through, just at the edge of everything, small bits of desaturated color.
A white scaled scarf torn and shredded among the rocks, bits of metal from keys shattered into pieces scattered everywhere... A head of wild black hair buried under the rubble, an arm littered in piercings draped over something smaller, thinner, and with blue hair... the mangled figures of two tiny creatures pressed together, dark grey and black, tails twined and mostly submerged in a pool of blood. There were pillars of ice, jagged and broken at the edges, a head of raven hair sprawled across the icy film, turning it muddy red, a second body a few feet away... There in a crater was something blue and utterly ripped to pieces.
Silver hair stained crimson, lying beside someone pale as a sheet and once bright blue eyes hazed over and grey. Three heads of white hair all fallen in line with each other, a sword shattered in two, runes cracked, all lying among broken tiki dolls and a pair of glasses too, littered between three more forms splayed out on the rock... A small figure holding tightly to a blob of white, tracks of tears down their faces and eyes dead, frozen and terrified.
There were guns broken in half, two people lying apart, their hands reaching for one another but never getting there... A broken paintbrush, and a shattered smokepipe, a young boy slumped against a father and a friend, not a single breath among any of them... Not from any of them, the dozens of people, all broken and mangled and... Familiar... I know all of them...r...right...?
There was a small old man shaking ahead of her, beaten and bleeding from so many terrible blows and still trying to get back up. She turned to look at him lazily, her expression never wavering, never changing, not a hint of disgust, or pity, or anything at seeing him so broken, so small.
She didn't feel anything. Not a single thing... I'm supposed to be feel... Something aren't I...?
Wait... no... no, no I...
He said something, pleading but she didn't hear it, the words wouldn't make it passed the heavy air of silence and blanket of non-feeling that seemed to have swallowed her whole. Her hand was moving up without her thinking about it, sickly pitch black Magic rising off her skin and eyes locking with the old man's, she saw the pain there, the terror too... But she didn't feel it.
I... I'm doing it again, I can't be doing it again...!
Her Magic shot out, fast and intent, headed straight for him and tearing through the old man's body like paper. He fell, silent and covered in gore, the light gone from his eyes in a second.
No not... not again...!
I just... I killed him... I killed all of them...
... I killed the entire Guild... Cold-blooded murder and I... I don't feel anything...
N...no... No, no... I can't... I didn't...!
Stop...! Stop I don't want to be here again...!
... I... I wanna stop...!
I can't do this again, n-no...!
Gold flickered in the corner of her vision, catching the unnaturally cold and neutral attention her body couldn't shake out of. She turned, settling an icy, unwavering stare on the Lightning Dragon Slayer who was covered in blood and barely on his feet, shaking from the effort of staying that way and panting. He looked ready to fall over, his body was riddled in gashes and holes, blood dripping from a blow that ran straight through his torso... A wound she'd put there, along with all the others. He'd been fighting hard, just as hard as all the rest, and maybe even more so... There wasn't horror in his eyes, not like everyone else. Against all of it, all the hurt and the murder... He looked...
He said something, and she couldn't hear it- but he still said it... He still tried, he kept fighting, taking everything she threw at him, and he got back up, even when she... S..shit...
... Stop...!
He was doing it, the same thing that Reyan had. He kept trying, kept trying to talk her down, get her to come to her senses- kept trying to reach out and find a piece of her that just... Wasn't there anymore- NO, STOP IT!
Sickly black Magic swirled around her arm, stretching down toward her hand and he stayed still, his posture wilting, eyes searching, tired and hurt.
S-STOP!
I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN..!
"D-DON'T...!"
.:+:.
She was jerked back into semi-consciousness again, snapped from the nightmare and gasping for air, high-strung, terrified and still so very, very confused.
Just like before she couldn't make anything out, her body was still unbearably heavy and her head whirled sickeningly as she jumped- but her body didn't come up from laying down, she didn't have the energy to get there. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, everything was a blur of terror and pain still hanging over her heart tenfold. The Guild dead at her hands, the destruction, massacre, all of it... On a terrible, blurry, fever-driven repeat.
I did it... a..again...
D-Damn it... no...
She hissed, curling in on herself slightly and rolling over what little she could manage in her panicked mind- this time she wasn't freezing. She wasn't cold, she felt overheated, and strung out, and thinking was all the harder for it... but... why am I still shivering if... I'm not cold...?
She shuddered, her body hating her for rolling over even the little she could, and the movement coming to an abrupt halt when her shoulder lit up in bright, fiery hot pain. She recoiled at it, the sudden rush and intensity of the pain making her breath hitch, which ultimately ended up in shallow, ragged coughing that felt terribly hot and harsh on her lungs. She groaned as the coughing sputtered out, leaving her panting and her chest absolutely aching for every breath in and out. There came a million stabs of pain like stitches in her side that sparked across every rib, several times over.
... f...fuck...
... I... was... killing everyone... again...
She grit her teeth, still rolled over slightly and her hands digging into the fabric of the bed underneath her, though she couldn't really register what it was she was laying on. The nightmare was running on a repeat in her head even though she wasn't still stuck in the midst of it, and her thoughts were all the more fractured for it. The incessant images and fear had her struggling to bring her mind back into reality, and instead trapped her in some non-reality stuck between the nightmare, and the waking world.
"... I... don't want to..." She mumbled breathlessly, shaking her head a few times over. "I... didn't..."
She jumped slightly, gentle hands falling on her shoulders out of nowhere catching her feverish mind by surprise. Her eyes snapped open in reaction to it but her vision was way too blurry still, and soon after they were just too heavy to keep open- though she really tried.
"... you're alright, calm down and lie still..."
This voice was different from the one from before, and it rang as familiar again, but she couldn't place it... just like before, damn it.
... I can't... think...
Whoever it was pushed her gently out of her curled up position, easing her slowly into laying on her back again and letting their hands stay on her left shoulder a few seconds longer as they pulled the sheets back up over her. She wished they didn't bother with the sheets, she felt like her skin was on fire, even though her body seemed intent to keep trembling as if she were stuck in a snowstorm- what they draped over her just trapped the heat in more and made her feel more faint and dizzy than she already was.
... shit... w..hat's... happening...?
"... I... I don't..." She stammered breathlessly, only for a second voice to bud in, quietly cutting her off as their hand met her head gingerly.
"... shhh, Frea... you're alright... it was a dream... you're okay..." The second voice murmured soothingly, pushing her hair back from her face a little as their hand left her head for a few seconds. "... Everything is okay... you're running a really high fever... you need to rest, go back to sleep, okay...? You'll be fine, I promise..."
Their hand came back, something blissfully cool making contact with her forehead and lessening the heaviness of the heat gripping tightly to her body and mind. A hot, wispy sigh escaped her as her mind dropped quickly closer to oblivion again, and she had no energy at all to stop it... but she wished she could stop constantly falling back and forth between this terribly fractured sense of wakefulness, and whatever else her mind conjured up.
... This... is awful...
.:+:.
... And it continued to be awful.
She didn't ever gain enough focus to really know how much time had passed, or figure out what had happened, or where she was. She just kept getting pulled into disjointed nightmares mixed with memories, and then jerked into semi-consciousness, but it wasn't near enough. Every time she 'woke up' was just as disorienting and nauseating as the time before, filled with lights and shapes she couldn't make out because her vision refused to clear, and mumbles and voices too far off and quiet to pinpoint.
Most every time she could recall there was someone close by, with gentle hands stilling her fevered and panicked movements, some little words of comfort to be said, doing their best to reassure her and calm her down. She was never entirely sure who it was, only that she knew the voice even if she couldn't place to whom it belonged, even when several times the voice was a repeat of someone from before... which was agitating, but she had not the energy, nor the faculties, to be worked up about it.
It was exhausting, her mind was being pulled every which way, torn into strings and scattered about in a mess of tangled, criss-crossing lines. She got thrown into the nightmare about the Guild falling at her hands a dozen times more. She got forced into recanting being dragged up to the Tower and forced to open the Door a few dozen more than that- the sensation of the pain just as blinding as it was in the moment, and then cut off into a heavy ache and numbness abruptly... and she got thrown into an ocean of dark, hungry waters fifty times or more, and each time she felt her heart pound painfully in her chest, and the terror that gripped her made 'waking up' a million times more awful.
After who the hell knows how long, she eventually got snatched out of a hodge-podge made up of the fragmented snippets of what happened when Laxus showed up, and a blurred together sequence of those voices she hadn't been able to place. She felt her mind suddenly pulled from the chaos and upward for what seemed the millionth time... But this time wasn't so awful.
Her eyes opened halfway, immensely thankful there didn't seem to be any glaring lights to make seeing impossible. It was dim instead, her eyes shinning still and slightly glazed, and unfocused, as she stared up at the... Canopy above her, attached to the tall beams at the four corners of the bed she was lying in. A very, very big bed, actually- it was easily bigger than 4-5 of her own bed back in Fairy Hills combined, and covered in dark sheets and blankets and pillows, her head resting in one such pillow while others had been pushed off to the right of her.
She blinked slowly, her eyes narrowing slightly to find Moon lying among those stacks of pillows, Lily beside her with his head on her stomach and both of them fast asleep. Further toward the foot of the bed was Wendy, with Carla and Happy in her arms, and similarly they were all asleep too... It was completely quiet, beside the soft sounds of the Exceed's and the Sky Dragon Slayer's breathing- and not just theirs.
Frea looked around slowly, her silver eyes scanning the space as well as she was able, and not recognizing it at all. It was big and dark- spare pale Lacrima-Lamps dotted around the walls here and there. There was a lot of things scattered around from what she could tell, books and sheets and cloaks, and furniture too... She found the Thunder Legion tucked away near a far wall, slumped in chairs and leaning against a table between them, bandaged and bruised to hell, but seemingly to be sleeping quite peacefully.
She looked further left, her attention dancing over a circular space through an archway and seeing the heavy Surgical Table not far from where she was, with all sorts of tools and supplies and Medical Instruments scattered about. It looked a lot like Talarr's workshop, cluttered and full of things- but this clearly wasn't the Ilaen's space... And there was no sign of him at all. She tossed the thought away and her eyes darted away from all of that, moving closer again as her attention snapped toward the side of the bed she was closest to, and she halted.
Laxus was there, sitting backwards in a chair near her knee with his arms crossed atop the chair back, and his head settled in them. He was asleep like everyone else, his breaths deep and slow even despite the somewhat awkward sleeping position... And he was covered in bandages.
Her eyes flashed a little, images of seeing the state of him when he arrived coming to the forefront of her mind. She remembered all the blood, and the blackened skin and ash, the wounds torn all into his hands, side, body and all across his back- there'd not been an inch of him not bearing some sort of wound (and most all had been no small wounds at all). And now she couldn't see the damage, since most of it was covered in bandages wound all the way up his torso, arms, hands, whatnot... But where the skin did poke through it was black and blue, and still raw. He'd turned the chair to face the head of the bed a bit more directly, but even so he wasn't angled enough she didn't see the stain of crimson seeping through the bandages across his back, and she swallowed hard at it.
She remembered snippets of it just then, all the blur and rush of things where he'd held her in his arms, the way she'd gotten colder, her chest tightening so much she couldn't breathe anymore, and every beat of her heart like a blade striking through her. She remembered it, him snapping at Talarr, carrying her off, telling her to hold on... After that it was all a big, dark blank- but she had a sense of feeling something like fear from him, where she hardly ever felt it, and she stiffened at the thought.
...shit...
Her eyes closed a moment as she took in a low, deep breath, her expression twisting ever so slightly for the ache that ignited through her chest at doing so. She felt like she'd gotten kicked in the chest two dozen times by an angry bull, and she was very convinced she'd probably have the bruises to prove it... If she'd been able to see the skin at all. Much like Laxus, she found bandages winding around her arms, chest, shoulders, and all the way up her neck- with her right arm fastened so tightly to her center via a sling she couldn't even begin to move it.
Everything hurt, but her chest was the worst, and her head too- she had a headache that rivaled all of the ones she'd earned before from her Senses being too overpowering. She felt just as heavy as she had in her constant sort of waking up and dreaming, and tired as all hell- strung out and thin, like not enough paint on a canvas... Mentally, physically, and emotionally she was fried- but she was too tired then for it to really hit, at least not all the way.
She sighed quietly, her eyes leaving Laxus slowly and instead finding the last person in that room.
Porlyusica was sitting in her own chair directly to Frea's left, the Old Lady bent over with her hands on her knees and her forehead pressed against her tightly folded hands. Her shoulders were hunched, her entire figure rigid and exuding no small amount of tension and unease- so much so she was frowning deeply, her eyes closed and her hands shaking faintly where she'd clasped them together. Frea had seldom ever seen the Old Lady's posture break like that, or been able to see the unease and uncertainty in her face like she did right then- usually Porlyusica was the picture of cool and calm and levelheaded. She did not waver, nor falter, and she did not crack under pressure of any kind... The last time Frea had seen her looking so worn had been when they were alone, not long after those two weeks after Mordren. It had been just the two of them in the Fairy Tail Infirmary, the Old Lady quiet in her seat and sitting very much as she was now- for once letting herself crumble in silence. And at the time she'd certainly been totally unaware Frea was awake at all, just like right then.
She knew what it meant, what awful things were running through the Old Lay's mind, what worries and fears... She didn't need to feel her emotions to know, and Frea's eyes glittered slightly as she let out a small, low sigh.
"... That bad, huh...?" Frea breathed softly, her voice wispy and a little rough. Porlyusica stiffened, her red eyes snapping open in an instant and staring straight ahead for a heartbeat or two, almost as if she didn't dare look Frea's way... And when she did it was stiffly, her hands falling slowly from her face, and her expression nothing but strained. The Old Lady forced as straight a face as she could when she caught Frea's eye, and one that only barely contained the exhaustion, worry, and unease. She didn't look surprised to see Frea awake, and the question only made her lips pull into a tight line. The Old Lady grimaced as she met Frea's eyes for a few long moments in silence, before her shoulders sank a little and she looked away again, her hand lifting to push her slightly messy bangs back from her face.
"... That would be putting it lightly..." Porlyusica mumbled lowly, shaking her head a little and her hand falling slowly, her red gaze locked to the nightstand in front of her and the various supplies set on it's top. "... The injuries from that Collar, and from the Siphon... All of it, re-agitated and made all the damage left from Mordren worse... And added new wounds to the mix... But it's what it did with your heart that's the most concerning." The Old Lady mumbled quietly, her eyes falling closed again as she held her chin in her hand. "... Forgive me child, I should have realized this might happen, and prepared for it..." Porlyusica whispered tensely and Frea's eyes widened slightly at the apology. The Old Lady swallowed hard, shaking her head again and eyes still closed, tightly so. "... I told you there was damage done that would never be reversed, especially so to your heart... But I didn't anticipate it affecting you so much, nor developing into something so serious... Not this quickly... And I didn't realize it was happening even before now, after you returned from Era... I should have realized what happened to you that night, and why... And what really caused it... Even if it didn't progress to what it did here... I should have realized what was happening to you... I am sorry." The Old Woman said quietly, and Frea blinked.
... After Era...?
Her eyes fell from Porlyusica a moment, biting the inside of her cheek a little.
... I guess... It did kind of... Feel like that, after getting off the Train... And when it started...
... Getting cold... And it getting harder to breathe...
... It... Didn't really occur to me either... That it might be the start of something... Worse...
Frea let out a small breath at it, her eyes flashing as she looked back toward Porlyusica, and she was still rigid in her place, doing her utmost not to let her voice waver as she apologized... Guilty, and quite so. It wasn't a normal thing coming from the Old Lady, and Frea's stomach churned slightly for it, especially when Porlyusica had to force herself a deep breath before being able to continue.
"... Your heart was going to give out on you. It was beating too fast, and too hard beforehand- and it wasn't doing what it's meant to. You were not getting enough blood-flow to the rest of your body, nor enough oxygen... Your organs were going to start failing, but not before your heart stopped completely... and it would have, if we'd not been able to work on you as quickly as we did. The stress, the shock, the wounds, the Magic Deficiency Syndrome- all of it... It was too much, the damage left on your heart was irritated, and enough it began to fail." Porlyusica explained quietly, another long sigh escaping her as she shook her head stiffly. "... I'm not entirely sure if it did stop altogether we could have started it again, not with all the damage and the strain... Not with how weak you were." She murmured grimly, and Frea grimaced slightly for it. "... And with how much a shock it was to your system even after we'd averted the immediate crisis, I've been wary it would start to fail again." She mumbled, her red eyes opening to trail slowly back toward Frea and pausing a moment. "... If I have not made it clear, you came very close to dying, and you've been in terrible shape since... You still are in bad shape, despite efforts on my part, and Wendy's, and that man Talarr's." Porlyusica told her lowly, and Frea's eyes dropped, nodding just once, and barely.
"... Yeah... I get it..." She breathed, swallowing hard. "... I'm sorry Granny... I really didn't mean for any of this to... Turn out so badly..." Frea mumbled, and Porlyusica frowned slightly.
"... Listen to me." The Old Lady cut her off firmly and Frea stiffened at it, her silver eyes opening tiredly again to catch the woman's red ones. "I realize I have scolded you countless times before now, and berated you for being rash, and impatient, and foolish... But what has happened here and now is of no fault of yours. This was not something you jumped into willingly, you did not have a choice in any of it- it was not rash decisions on your part that caused this. This is not your fault." The Old Lady murmured steadily, "I'm not telling you the severity of it to make you feel responsible... I am telling you, because I need you to understand that I am going to do everything in my power to fix what's been done to you, but I need you to be patient. You have to know that you cannot push yourself right now, or anytime soon until I am certain you won't be at too great a risk of your heart failing again... All of this is incredibly unfair, and I know it's not been easy for you to have been as patient as you were after what happened with Mordren... You shouldn't have to be patient again now, not this soon... But you don't have a choice." She murmured softly, her eyes glinting. "... I need you to be patient, give yourself, and I, enough time to fix this as best it can, and so it won't mean you run the risk of losing your life every time you do what you do best... Being rash, and foolish, and always working much too hard." Porlysica finished softly, and a tad lightly at the end there- there was no scolding in her voice when she said it. Not like all the times before she'd snapped readily at Frea for running around, fighting, pushing things too hard, being impatient- all of it.
Nothing about Porlyusica's voice as she said all of that even bordered having an edge, she was steady and calm, and her voice was almost tender and gentle- incredibly so, and Frea felt her chest tighten a little more than it already was. She shut her eyes quickly against the stinging sensation that hit her next, swallowing back at it and nodding stiffly in response to the Old Lady... And absolutely hating the warm trickle of moisture she felt manage a way passed her eyelids and roll down her cheek.
D...damn it... I can't stop myself... Quit...
"... I... I will Granny..." Frea breathed, her voice strained still and holding her breath against the way it wanted to hitch. She couldn't let herself start crying, it was bad enough that single tear had managed a way to the top- she couldn't break down right then no matter how much her body wanted her to... And how much worse she felt when the thought crossed her mind.
... All of this... Has... Finally managed it... H...huh...?
To... To b..break me... Really, really break me...s..shit...
Porlyusica grimaced a little, her posture wilting at how quickly the younger seemed to fall right back into all that emotional turmoil that had been hounding Frea in her fevered, delirious state all this time. She'd jerked out of unconscious too many times to count already, panicked and muttering things, fighting, squirming... Haunted. All things usually unseen in the Energy Dragon Slayer, but the state of her body betrayed her mind and senses, and it broke through so easily still.
The Old Lady took in a deep breath, pushing herself forward in her seat and closer to the bed. She lay a hand gently on Frea's left shoulder, the other moving toward her face and gingerly wiping the tear away, "... Take a breath." Porlyusica instructed softly, interrupting Frea's train of thought and throwing a wrench into the storm of emotions that had stirred up so quickly. "... Breathe as deeply as you can, and slowly..." The Old Lady murmured, watching carefully as Frea did as she was told and steadied herself just enough to take in a big breath of air, and then let it out as slow possible. Porlyusica nodded a bit, giving the younger a somewhat reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. "... one more time." She went on, her eyes diverting a moment as her hand left Frea's cheek and instead moved to pick up the folded cloth resting on her forehead. She balled it up in her palm and flipped her hand over to rest the back of it against the younger's brow, frowning again for distinct heat still gripping tightly to her body, her features flushed and drenched in sweat.
Frea let out the second breath as Porlyusica drew her hand back again, her eyes still closed and apt to stay that way. Porlyusica moved her hand from Frea's shoulder, staying quiet a moment as she let the younger try and settle a bit more, and she instead focused on replacing the cloth with a different one- drenching it in a bowl of cool water and folding it neatly. She lay it gingerly on Frea's forehead again, the Dragon Slayer letting out a small, shaky sigh of relief for it, her panting easing a little too as Porlyusica pressed her fingers lightly to the underside of Frea's wrist, her eyes dropping closed in concentration as she felt the fluttering rhythm of her pulse... It was quick-paced, but not nearly as fast or as uneven as it had been when her heart was struggling.
Even after Laxus had done what he did, and Wendy had done her part, and Porlyusica and Talarr's remedies and potions did their work- her heart never settled all the way to a rhythm the Old Lady was altogether comfortable with. It was weaker than she liked, and a little too erratic, especially as the shock settled in and the fever that had taken hold began to rage in full. She had been wary it would be too much for her damaged heart to take, even if the crises had been staved off as it had- and she'd been keeping wary eye on her pulse and heartbeat since then, all through these already many, many hours.
So no, it wasn't as stable as Porlyusica liked- but it had stayed away from declining too far even with the fever, so she couldn't complain much. It was even a bit of encouragement that Frea had finally managed to break free of the fevered daze, and delirium with it, and even followed that short conversation... But this was far from being out of immediate danger. She had a ways to go before her condition even improved enough that Talarr and the Old Lady were willing to try and fix some of the other injuries- they were wary of pushing her too far, and working on her more than her body could handle. So instead they'd been keeping Frea sedated in the meantime, to try and let your body regain a bit of strength and stabilize on it's own, and help her heart not work too hard while they waited for the shock and fever to subside... Waiting like that was slow and unpleasant however, and likely more unpleasant on Frea because of the sedatives and the effect they were having on an already fevered mind- but it was necessary.
Porlyusica drew her hand back from Frea's wrist with a quiet sigh, her eyes flashing in the dim of the room.
Patience and more time, and longer still to go before things stopped being in such a delicate state... Both Frea's condition, and the entire country of Adgnei.
"... Sleep. Your fever still hasn't broken, your body needs more time to work through it." Porlyusica ordered softly, leaning back in her chair a bit, and listening quietly as Frea's breathing started to sink into something deeper, quickly so. What little bit of consciousness she'd managed what just that, there was no way she'd have been able to stay awake long at all... And certainly not with how heavy the sedatives were on her mind and body.
Frea barely heard Porlyusica say anything, the minute the damp cloth met her forehead she felt her focus slipping away for the little bit of relief it brought- it eased the headache, and contrasted with the pressurized and stuffy feeling all through her body. It was faintly infuriating how quickly she was getting dragged back into oblivion again, but like all the times before even trying to resist it was futile... And honestly, sleeping seemed a better alternative to staying awake and feeling as all wound up as she did now.
... Please... This time... No more dreams... No more nightmares...
... I just want... Nothing...
... Just... A little break... From all of it...
Frea's breathing hitched faintly just before she fell all the way into the dark waiting for her- and then it went quiet again. Quiet, and with no one in the room stirred for the little exchange between the Old Lady and Frea... Save Laxus, who'd been pulled out of a doze the instant he'd heard the soft tenor of their voices.
He'd not budged an inch, he only cracked one eye open to glance their way, and he just listened in complete silence, intent. And with every tense word on the Old Woman's part, and the immediate way in which Frea's emotions started to flare, he felt his stomach churn anew.
Porlyusica had it right when she said it, and he bit the inside of his cheek for it.
"All of this is incredibly unfair"
.:+:.
"... We'll take it slow, it's too risky to do too much at once, so we'll focus on some of the more pressing things..."
"... And once Wendy has rested enough she can Heal some of the less complicated injuries..."
"... This will take a handful of hours... the Table will keep her sedated so she'll be unconscious through it... To make it easier on her, and minimize the work we do being too much of a shock on her system..."
"... We hope that when we're done, her condition will improve... But it'll likely be several days still before it would be wise to leave... I apologize but... It would be better for you all to stay in Adgnei a bit longer..."
"... The Guild needs their own time to rest after all the fighting, as it is. The worst of the battling has subsided, but many of them are still working in the city. They're all hurt or exhausted in some way, they need time to recover. It would be best for them to settle down here, even if they might prefer going home."
"... R.. Right, I agree... Uhm... I will help you with finding places for you all to rest after we are done with this... And check on their injuries some more..."
"... No, you've done enough already. You haven't paused since the Tower fell, and you've been dodging between taking care of Frea, helping the rest of my Guild, and everything else. I appreciate all you have done thus far, truly- but you should take time to recover yourself, once you and Porlyusica finish."
"... He is right, Ilaen. You are barely standing, and you are no use to anyone if you collapse. Let us to worry over everything for awhile... Lady Celene managed to settle a number of things quite well before before Pestilence's Magic came into affect. In her stead and yours, the Keistae, Lord Tuvral, and Sir Theregist will take care of things in the city, and the Fairy Tailers still there. Seyre and I will keep an eye on things here in the Palace, and we'll begin to settle everyone in as best we can."
"... A...are you sure...?"
"Yes, I am sure."
"...a.. Alright... Ah, is... Lady Celene alright...?"
"... Hmm, she is fine. Her Ilaen is keeping an eye on her in Banore. Lord Tuvral seemed to have decided that a severe cold would be the best illness to land her with."
"... A... Cold...?"
"Hehe, she's sneezing every few minutes, and is not too pleased about it- but it's nothing to worry over."
Laxus huffed slightly, his eyes trailing away from having been watching the collection of Makarov, Porlyusica, Saige, Moon, Lily and Talarr talking quietly in a group next to the Surgical Table, and all the other tables and supplies and whatnot on that far side of the room. He'd started listening in the moment they began talking, discussing quietly what had been going on with the chaos in the city beyond the Palace Barriers, and what Porlyusica and the Ilaen were planning to do now for Frea. But he didn't move from his seat to join the conversation, listening was enough... And besides, he had no want to get up. As sore as he was, and tired, and how painful it was to move even a little all aside- he wasn't intent on leaving.
He just stayed right where he was by the bedside, sitting sideways in the chair he'd basically claimed as his own by now, his elbow leaning on the back of the chair and his other arm resting atop the bed. He'd moved the chair up a bit from being where it had been closer to the end, and enough so his arm brushed against Frea's own- barely so, but enough he could tell if she started fidgeting right away.
She'd been trapped in a constant cycle of fitful, fever-gripped sleep for well over a day now, her mind bouncing between unconsciousness and jarring spats of jerking awake, but not really ever being cognate enough to know what was going on. Beside the one time where she and Porlyusica had had their short conversation, it had just been hours of silence and fevered panting, broken only by sudden fits of gasping and squirming. She jolted back onto the edge of consciousness, delirious, and confusion and fear running rampant. Mostly she just started fidgeting, gasping little things under her breath, trapped in a fever-dream or nightmare- of what he wasn't always really sure, but generally he could take a guess. From the rushed version of what the Thunder Legion had recanted of what had happened in the Tower, and out in the hall with the pools of water- there was a plethora of things that had happened here in Adgnei for her mind to fall back on and earn such a frantic state... And that was disregarding all the terrible things in her life from before now.
He'd had to several times push her back against the bed, murmuring small words to relax and to sleep, and waiting until the panic and delirium faded enough she ceased fidgeting so much. He wasn't the only one either, Moon had had to, with Porlyusica, and the Thunder Legion as well- taking turns almost as they all stayed sitting in that room, waiting, watchful, and all of them so very, very tense.
The Thunder Legion hadn't left, not once- they'd stayed just as he had, and Porlyusica too. Moon, Lily, Carla, Happy and Wendy hadn't left either, once they'd eventually gotten here- the last three were dead asleep on the far end of the bed at the moment, Carla and Happy exhausted from all the chaos and Wendy more so. The Little Dragon Slayer had been fighting as well as using her Healing Magic with little to no pause- helping the people in the city streets being set upon by Kullui and healing any she could, as well as healing the Guild... She'd helped out with Frea as soon as she'd arrived, and tried to lessen the fever, but the young Dragon Slayer was fairly well spent and had been barely keeping her eyes open. Even with all the time spent waiting for Frea's fever to break on it's own Wendy had been doing her best to stay awake and keep an eye, but it was fairly useless. Gray, Juvia, Shae and Corbynn had popped in and out periodically, Seyre too. They fidgeted at the edges of the room, checking in and asking hushed questions, casting anxious glances toward Frea and then eventually out again... They were reconnecting with the Guild, as far as Laxus could tell- or otherwise helping bring people into Okeal and out of the chaos in the city itself. They were trying to keep busy he supposed, things were still not at all near settled between the fighting and the Kullui- most of the Guild was still in the midsts of it and trying to draw it to a complete end... But it was slow, and just as slow as this was.
Laxus let out a low sigh, his attention on the group in the far room failing as soon as it steered away from Talarr and Porlyusica's plans. His eyes dropped closed, paying little mind to the Thunder Legion sitting at their sort of 'claimed' table- he knew they were awake, and listening in on the conversation too, but like him they'd decided on not moving and simply hearing the words from afar.
They'd said little to him, outside of their attempts at getting him to sleep some more, and let his wounds get looked at early on... He knew they were itching to talk though, but they kept it to themselves for the meantime. Though the constant flicking of their eyes in his direction was growing a bit wearisome, and eventually he knew the silence couldn't keep up... for now though, they'd wait a little longer- but only a little, that was likely all the patience they had left.
Laxus' head tilted right, cracking an eye open to glance at Frea asleep on the bed, her chest rising and falling in a mostly even, slow rhythm. Her fever had finally gone down now, after having been raging for nearly a whole 24 hours, and then slowly tapering off about five hours ago... Now she was only a little warm, and it was nothing compared to the fire that had gripped her for so long. And with the fever running it's course she was sleeping better, with less bouts of nightmares that got bad enough to jerk her awake. Porlyusica and Talarr had decided about an hour ago they were going to try again on dealing with her injuries some more (as it what they were discussing and getting ready for now), and hopefully it would help make her a bit more stable... She was so weak right now, frail, strung out, and hurt... And... Fragile... tch.
His eye closed, his hand curling reflexively around the comforter and swallowing hard.
He couldn't shake the sensation of her heart in the grip of his Magic, the rigidness of her body under his hands and the pain etched into her face. He could not shake the booming of her heart and the terrifying stillness as it skipped over and over again and in longer bursts- the groans and yelps of pain as his Magic fought with the electrical bursts in her body keeping her heart in that awful downward spiral. All these hours later and he could not shake any of it, not the memory in the moment or... Or the sick feeling it elicited in his core.
... Damn it...
He grit his teeth and forced a breath, tossing the sudden storm of thoughts and feelings away as best he possibly could. He tilted his head down into his other hand, pinching the bridge of his nose and grimacing when he realized...
... Shit... My hand's shaking...
He closed it into a fist instead to try and still the faint trembling, his knuckles pressing firmly against his forehead and his shoulders hunching slightly... His hand on the bed gripped the blanket a little tighter despite himself, and he could not get his fingers to let go.
"... Damn it..." He muttered under his breath, his teeth gritting further at the end as he hissed.
Fuck, his voice was shaking too
He jumped faintly, his eyes opening quickly and faltering for a moment when he felt Frea's arm move slightly against his. He swallowed and shook his head at himself, turning all his focus and attention immediately toward her, and toward making sure she wasn't about to jerk awake from a dream again... and he was just a little thankful his thoughts had something else to hone in on in that moment.
He turned right, bringing his arm off the back of the chair and rotating in his seat quietly, Frea's arm against his moving a little more and he bit the inside of his cheek, the sound of her breathing picking up reaching his ears right off. His shoulders sank slightly to see the way her expression was starting to twist, her breaths coming in short, shallow gasps that were quickly getting worse, and her body starting to tremble along with whatever terrible dream was hounding her now. She shook her head slightly, sucking in air in uneven breaths, and fidgeting slightly, and more so quickly, as he turned all the way in his seat and leaned in closer, one hand finding a steady place on her shoulder while the other fell gently on top of her head. His heart clenched as he saw fear work it's way into her expression almost immediately- from the way she was gasping for air, he knew instantly what this round of nightmare entailed, and he grit his teeth for it, cursing Mordren, that damn Saint Serana asshole at Era, and the God-King all combined.
Two weeks straight trapped in that place drowning, and then dragged underwater again... tch
He bit back at the agitation simmering in his core and pushed it away, shaking his head at himself. She fidgeted a bit more and enough his hold on her shoulder had to tighten to keep her from moving too much, lest she end up hurting herself. Her left hand moved up to try and push against him in reaction though, her fingers curling around his upper arm and tight enough her fingernails dug in with a sharp prick of pain, but he ignored it.
"... Easy Frea..." He murmured softly, "... You're fine, it's just a dream..."
Her fingers dug in a little further, her fidgeting not subsiding at all and only worsening along with the panicked pace of her breathing. He grimaced, his eyes glittering as he pushed himself up from his seat stiffly and instead sat down on the bed, destroying what little distance there had been between them entirely. His hand on her head shift downward, his palm brushing gently against her cheek and finding a delicate hold under her jaw, fingers tangling with silvery-blonde strands of her hair. He angled her face more toward him with that hand, easily forcing it even when she resisted the gentle movement, and he leaned over, bending down all the way until their faces were only inches apart, his eyes dropping closed. His forehead gingerly met hers, her hot breath washing up into his face in shallow bursts, his hand on her jaw and the close contact stilling her further, while his other hand remained on her shoulder and he gave her a small, reassuring squeeze. "... it's a dream, you're alright..." He mumbled quietly, his voice barely above a whisper now. Frea's movement underneath him stalled slightly, the Energy Dragon Slayer faltering for the sudden closeness that she felt even around the whirl of the nightmare. Her breath hitched, her grip around his arm loosening and the sting of her fingernails going with it, and Laxus' pushing down against her shoulder could ease up too. "... You're fine Frea... calm down..." He kept on softly, his eyes cracking open in time to see her eyes flutter for half a second, glassy and unfocused as she pulled out of the nightmare just slightly.
"... La.. xus...?" She breathed, her hold on his arm loosening near all the way as she seemed to realize what she was doing and grimaced, her eyes dropping closed again as she hissed under her breath. "... I... I'm sorry..." She stammered breathlessly, he shook his head a bit without separating their foreheads just yet.
"... Don't worry about it." He murmured, Frea letting out a small breath that was a little less frantic than the ones before it, but still fast and uneasy. He paused for a second, before straightening up so their faces pulled apart, though he didn't move his hand from holding her jaw- he did release his hold on her shoulder though, so he could catch her left hand as her grip on his shoulder failed completely. He gently lowered it back down onto the bed instead of allowing it to fall, letting out a heavy sigh and his eyes flashing as her body lost it's rigidness quickly. The weight of her cheek in his hand got a little heavier as the panic got swallowed up by the unending weakness and exhaustion biting at her heels, and was now quickly rising up again. She was trembling still, her breathing settling only a little as she frowned, forcing her eyes open halfway again for a few seconds, and only barely managing it. He saw how hard it was for her to try and he shook his head a bit, drawing his thumb across her cheek and pulling back a loose strand of hair with it.
"... go back to sleep. You're alright, it was just a dream..." He murmured softly, her eyes dropping again as she seemed to swallow, her focus quickly being lulled back into unconsciousness she really didn't want to give into, but she had little choice. "... sleep Frea, the next time you wake up you'll feel better... just sleep..."
The Thunder Legion's eyes gleamed, their expressions slightly pained and heart-warmed all at once from where they sat still and quiet, their gazes latched on to Laxus sitting on the bed, enraptured in the moment and in every detail. In their Leader's gentle movements, the soft tenor of his voice, the readiness and not even a moment of hesitation to be seen as he stepped up and comfort her- and the complete, and absolute tenderness and care he showed that was so unlike him... Tenderness and care reserved only for rare occasions, and a select few.
But this wasn't the kinder side of Laxus they had seen over the years, and when they were on their own- this was beyond the friendship between him and the Thunder Legion... Far beyond. They felt like they were getting a glimpse of something they weren't really supposed to see, or at least it wasn't something they imagined Laxus would have shown so plainly with other people around- but maybe under these circumstances, he didn't care about being reserved as he generally would be.
The Thunder Legion glanced between one another quietly, smiling sadly to each other as they looked away from the little exchange at last, their hearts aching slightly. They knew Laxus wasn't really doing great with all of this, no matter how practiced he was at hiding how he was feeling. The Lighting Dragon Slayer was exceedingly tense and uneasy, and worried too, they could tell... And they'd been able to see the fear in him when it first started to go downhill with Frea and her heart, and how much he'd hated having to use his Magic on her too. Even through all this time with Frea gripped tight with a terrible fever and hounded constantly by nightmares and whatever else, they'd seen little flashes of fear appear in Laxus again, and no small amount of pain and concern.
Laxus had not left, not once. He was constantly aware, and focused, and watchful for any little thing- even with the few times he let himself doze off he always woke up the instant something happened. It had taken a ridiculous amount of prodding on their part to get Laxus to sit down and let them fuss over him, and further still till he wouldn't resist any attempts on Porlyusica's part to treat his injuries. Laxus was a stubborn person at the best of times, but he was being beyond stubborn now... Not that they blamed him, they understood it- it was just worrying for them.
They wanted to talk to him, and more in depth than what rushed version of events they'd ranted off to him. They wanted to ask what happened when he'd been dragged off with Nirav, and what happened afterward... There was so much that had gone on, so many blanks to fill in, and questions burning in their minds. They needed to talk, but they doubted it would be easy to convince Laxus to step away even for a little- and he needed to. Not just to give them opportunity to have a discussion, but also so Laxus could get some air, find and bed and get some actual sleep. He was hurt extensively despite his current track to ignore it, he was exhausted and he needed to rest, before his stubbornness ended up backfiring and he made himself sick, or worse.
They glanced toward the group still talking quietly in the far room, all of them unaware of the little show of tenderness and care going on at the bed.
Maybe once Talarr and Porlyusica set to work they'd be able to convince Laxus to take a break... They certainly hoped so, anyway.
And they hoped what Laxus said at the end would be right too, that the next time Frea woke up she would be better, stronger, less hurt... They really hoped she would be okay, for her sake, and his, and everyone else's.
... Please be okay, Frea...
.:+:.
The air smelled heavily of fire and ash, the wind carrying it up from the bottom of the valley and the smoldering figure of the city below the Palace. The fires themselves that had been raging had gone out by now, only small specks of red glowed dimly from the places that had died out last. He could smell blood heavy on the wind too, though mostly the smoke outweighed it... And really he didn't pay it much mind at all, he hadn't the energy to linger and worry on the smell, or what had caused it. Chaos, and war, and so many awful things that should never have happened at all... He sighed heavily, shaking his head at himself and letting his eyes fall closed.
He didn't care to look down at the war-ridden city any more, and he didn't care to strain his ears and catch the few sounds of fighting still in it's streets.
He knew above them the sky was still overtaken in a Magic Circle born of Jynx's Magic, the ghost girl still cleaning up the last of those Damned Souls that had been running loose or whatever... It wasn't doing much at the moment, besides looming- and again, he hadn't the energy to care. He'd picked up enough from those that came in to check on Frea that the fighting was near done, and what was left was to pick up the pieces, assess the damage, and try to fix all that had been torn and wrenched apart- and was now left broken and stuck in a state of unease and turmoil that would last quite some time to come.
... Shit... All the crap that happened here was gonna leave a mark on everyone that wouldn't go away... Frea especially
He sighed again at the though, grimacing to himself and hooking his hands on the back of his neck.
... How does everything always end up so crazy...?
... And so... Bad...?
"... Laxus...?"
His eyes opened to the soft tenor of Freed's voice, the man behind him with Bixlow and Evergreen close at hand. They'd ushered him out of the King's Quarters (to which had been commandeered to look after Frea), and out the hall attached to a balcony outside- insisting he needed to take a break and clear his head, get some air and take a moment that wasn't spent sitting in that room as he had the last 24 hours or so... And he'd relented to the idea, though only because Talarr and Porlyusica had set to work, and there was no need for him to be around at the moment. He supposed some fresh air was nice too, but walking out there at all was unpleasant- his limbs felt heavy and pain flashed through every inch of hit at every single step, not that he showed it.
More so than anything he knew the Thunder Legion were fidgeting, nervous, uneasy, and wary behind him- he knew this was as much a chance to clear his head, as it was to get some privacy.
Laxus' hands fell from holding the back of his neck, the large man turning to face his three teammates, their eyes glittering in the dim of the night around them and their eyes meeting his uncertainly.
"... Are you alright?" Freed asked slowly, "You haven't gotten near any sleep, you're exhausted, and you're hurt badly... You need to rest, Laxus."
"Yeah Boss, we get you're worried about Frea and all, but ya gotta take a break." Bixlow mumbled,
"You're not going to help anything if you collapse, or make yourself ill." Evergreen mumbled, and Laxus blinked slowly at the words, before his eyes fell closed again.
"... I'm fine." He murmured quietly and they all bristled slightly at it,
"No you are not-!" They hissed in unison, only to cut off when Laxus shook his head.
"... I'm not so bad that I'm gonna pass out or anything, and I'm not gonna make myself sick." He told them evenly, grimacing faintly a moment and tilting his head one way, then slowly he backed up a pace.
He settled stiffly into sitting on the railing of the balcony behind him, leaning forward a bit so his elbows met his knees and he clasped his hands together. He let out a long breath as he did so, and the Thunder Legion's eyes flashed at it, a little wary he'd been so quick to sit, but a little thankful he did nonetheless.
"... I am tired, so I'll get some sleep in a bit after we're done... You can quit pestering me about it..." Laxus relented next and they blinked, their eyes widening at the words. "... I know you guys want to talk about everything that happened, that's fine... You can go ahead." Laxus mumbled quietly and they hesitated a moment, unsure now at the sudden turn of events and how calmly Laxus was acting about it. If he'd known they wanted to talk, he must know what about, right? And that most of it was... Unpleasant...? Or very unpleasant, in terms of the thing they were wondering about the most...?
The trio exchanged glances for a few seconds, quiet while Laxus waited patiently for them to start, and then all three stepped a pace or two closer to the blonde.
"... When Frea got pulled under the water earlier, and we got her out..." Bixlow started first, slowly so and they saw Laxus' hands tighten around each other almost right off. "... She was really, really freaked out... She pretty much had panic attack..." The Seith Mage murmured quietly,
"... She was shaking like a leaf, and crying... It took a lot for her to even begin to calm down again..." Evergreen mumbled, her fingers twining together in front of her and eyes down.
"... She was terrified... I've never seen her like that at all... None of us have. We would have never even had the slightest inkling she might be as scared as she was about something like that..." Freed intoned quietly, earning stiff nods from the first two. "... She did not say much of it, it was clearly difficult for her to, and we did not wish to press her... But what she little she did mention..." Freed murmured, his eyes moving slowly up from the ground and toward Laxus. "... She said it wasn't something she'd shared with others... We certainly didn't know, but... " Freed whispered, swallowing slightly. "... Laxus... Did... Did you know she was terrified... Of water... Like that...?" Freed asked uncertainly, his eyes gleaming as Laxus seemed to grit his teeth at the question, his eyes stuck to his hands and not them. After a heavy pause the Lightning Dragon Slayer nodded stiffly, and their eyes went wide for it.
"... She's never said it outright... But I knew." Laxus grumbled lowly, and they leaned in a bit, a little flustered now.
"... D-does anyone else know...?! Moon at least, surely...?" Freed asked instantly,
"How long have you known about it, Boss...?" Bixlow asked too,
"... A-and how do you know, if she's never said anything...?" Evergreen murmured tensely and Laxus' shoulders stiffened a tad further at the round of questions.
"... I don't think Moon knows." Laxus replied at length, "... I really don't think she wanted anybody to know about it at all, even Moon... It's not the sort of thing Frea just... Talks about... To anyone..." He mumbled, and they stiffened at the assertion. "... Like I said, she's never said it directly..." The blonde added lowly and they stared.
"... B-but how do you know..?" Evergreen pressed again,
"Yeah, and how for how long...? She said this was something that just started..." Bixlow mumbled, Freed nodding a little tensely to it.
"... Yes, she did mention it was... New..." Freed murmured, "... And... She said she'd been dragged under the water before now... Do... Do you know what happened...? That would have... Been so bad that she's so afraid of it...?" Freed asked uncertainly, quite unsure if it was his place to ask it at all- they all rather felt they were treading where they ought not to. If what Laxus said was true and it wasn't something Frea would share with anybody, even him or Moon, what right would they have to know the full details...?
They only knew about it because they'd been there to see it, but surely they would never have known if they'd not been with her at all... This was an incredibly delicate subject, and a lot more than the Thunder Legion even realized.
Laxus knew right away Frea would never have told them about it, she would never have made that choice willingly- not for the secrets and things she always kept hidden, and wouldn't let anybody see. But really more than that even... It was too hard for her. She was avoiding it, she didn't want to touch it, or talk about it, and Laxus had left it be because he didn't want to force her through it. He didn't want to bring up all the turmoil and terrible memories, or force her into talking about something he knew would only hurt her. She'd been a wreck after pulling her out of the Reach, and she'd been a wreck still all these months since then, trying desperately to keep all the broken pieces together and not let herself shatter completely. And she'd crumbled a few times, but she kept going anyway, and she'd managed to pull together like she always seemed to, and enough so no one else could see it... But he knew the cracks and breaks were still there under the surface, though he wouldn't prod her. He'd promised that, and though he hated how much she hid and kept buried, he didn't intend to break the trust she'd placed in him. The trust where she would let herself crumble where he could see it, and not anybody else.
But not wanting to break that trust made the Thunder Legion's questions all the harder to respond to. What happened in the Reach, and all she'd said and he'd seen after it, was something he was sure was strictly between Frea and himself. He could not imagine she'd told a single soul about it, or ever planned to... So what was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to make it so they understood? He knew the Thunder Legion only asked out of genuine concern, and he trusted them not to share what they knew... But what about this was his to share? Or that he had any real right to...?
Laxus was quiet for a long time, his hands wringing together more and more tightly with every second, and the Thunder Legion blinked, their faces falling slightly and fixed.
... was it... that bad...?
They looked between each other quickly, frowning a little and swallowing hard.
"... you needn't tell us, Laxus." Freed murmured, "This is none of our business, if it's something you think shouldn't be shared, that is fine... we won't press it."
"Yeah, and we ain't gonna tell anybody else about what happened." Bixlow murmured, "If it's not something Frea wants to know we aren't gonna blab about it... and we won't bring it up to her either. Not if she doesn't wanna talk about it."
"Yes, we won't discuss it... It's not our place." Evergreen murmured softly, earning stiff nods from Bixlow and Freed at the comment. Laxus bit the inside of his cheek at the quick assurances though, his shoulders sagging as he let out a small sigh.
"... it ain't that I think you're gonna spread it out around, or bring it up- I know you wouldn't. And it's not that I don't think you shouldn't know either..." Laxus murmured at length, "... I don't expect you guys to just drop it, not after what happened... I know you're confused, and that you're worried... it's just complicated, and I'm not really sure how much of it I have any right to tell you... I don't know if it's really my place to talk about it..." He mumbled, his eyes falling closed as he shook his head a bit. "... I'm not sure if she'd want me to..."
He trailed off again, his hands trembled slightly for how tightly they wrung together, the blonde shaking his head a few more times as he seemed to grit his teeth, pensive, brooding. The Thunder Legion stood absolutely still, their eyes gleaming and just as tense as he was, and then their eyes widened in confusion when he seemed wilt a little, his hands loosening...?
"... I can't explain all of it, because I don't get it myself, but... there's this place everyone goes to, when they're dying... I can't really explain how it works, or... where it is, or anything like that... it's all wrapped up in the Forces of Creation crap... but... It's not just a dream, or a nightmare, or something made up... it's an actual place, it exists... it's completely real." Laxus started softly, slowly so and they stiffened, eyes wide and stunned into utter stillness- was he actually... telling them...?
... and... about something having to do with... the Forces of Creation...?
"... you're not there physically... but... you are there. You feel it all, you do really go through it... and the whole place... it's just a big, black ocean... it's stretches on forever and... you're stuck there... sinking, for however long it takes... until you..." Laxus went on, before cutting himself off rather firmly at the end- but it didn't matter, they got the point and they shuddered, minds whirling more and with every second.
... a... real place...? T-that was... an endless ocean...?
... where people... go to...?
"... After what happened with Mordren... Frea ended up there, in that place..." Laxus grumbled lowly, and the Thunder Legion felt like their breath got snatched away in an instant. "... she was stuck there the whole time... all the way up until she started to... get better..." Laxus explained grimly, and their heart's stopped.
They were rigid, their faces suddenly horrified and eyes glistening, tears threatening to fall down their cheeks, and all three of them shaking now- because it clicked in their heads right away- and it was the most sickening, terrifying, terrible realizaiton possible.
"... y.. you don't mean...?" Freed stammered,
"... s..she was there... drowning... for two weeks...?" Evergreen nearly choked on the words and Laxus flinched slightly at it, his lips a tight line and eyes still shut. But he nodded once, stiffly and so little it was barely a nod- but it was enough, and they shuddered at it.
"... n...no way..." Bixlow hissed, Evergreen's hands covered her mouth to stifle the shaky gasp that threatened to escape her. Freed's eyes dropped, staring at the ground and shaking slightly as his mind fought to process the information- Evergreen and Bixlow's minds were racing too, how could they not be?
They were reeling, the horror of it, the shock of it- their thoughts were processing it in rapid-fire and it was so, so clear why Frea had looked so petrified. Why she'd been paralyzed, panicking, terrified, unable to breath and crying... why it hit so hard, why it was so haunting... traumatizing...
... she... how could anybody... have... lived through something like that...?
They didn't get it all the way, they couldn't really fathom a place like the one Laxus just described, or really wrap their minds around how Frea could have been there and been lying on her deathbed in the Guild hall all at once... but they didn't have to get it- they knew it was true, they knew it was real. Laxus said it was and he was deadly serious. Hell, he wouldn't have been saying any of this if it wasn't true- or even if wasn't as terrible as it was... oh no...
She... Frea... had she been living with the memory of that, keeping it to herself all these months since then, burying it? How could she manage to bury something that... that bad...?
And no one had ever noticed it...? Not them, not even Moon, or anybody else in the Guild...?
"... t...that's..." Evergreen stammered hoarsely, before her voice hitched too much and the tears spilled over, silent and barely keeping herself that way.
It hurt them, so much more than they expected it could- and it hurt worse knowing she'd had to live through it again on their watch... and even still afterward, after being pulled under and into the very same situation she had suffered through for... for weeks...?
.:+:.
"... And... Thank you guys... For being so patient with me..." Frea kept on, breaking their thoughts in an instant. "... Through... All of it... But... Especially me... Freaking out..." She murmured quietly, her voice hardly above a whisper and still leaning forward into her knees, eyes closed. "... I am glad you're here, you're all helping... A lot..." She murmured, cracking her eyes open and tossing them a small, weary smile, and all three of them went utterly rigid under it.
"... Y... You don't need to thank us, Frea...!" Evergreen stammered quickly, Freed and Bixlow shaking their heads quickly along with Evergreen. Frea blinked in surprise, her head tilting slightly at the words.
"... What... Do you mean...?" She mumbled reflexively, but they just shook their heads again.
"You... You don't need to put up face and thank us for all of this, not while you're so hurt and certainly don't feel well at all...!" Freed told her quickly,
"Especially not if you're just trying... Trying to reassure us, for our sakes..!" Evergreen mumbled,
"Yeah, you don't gotta... I mean we should have been there back on Magnolia to help you out... And since then we've not really done much that didn't blow up in our faces." Bixlow sighed slightly in exasperation.
"... Yes... We... Haven't been able to keep up, even now with the King, you still..." Evergreen mumbled, trailing off quickly after saying and her eyes dropping along with Freed's and Bixlow's both.
"... You've been forced though so much... It... Doesn't feel right for you to thank us, when we might have avoided it altogether if we had just... Gotten there a little earlier..." Freed finished softly and Frea paused,
"... I'm... Not putting up face, ya know... I'm saying thank you... And I do really mean it..." Frea started slowly, making all of them stiffen at the assertion. "... And... You really shouldn't feel so guilty... I get why you think you should, But... You guys aren't at fault for anything..." She mumbled, "... Being a few minutes early to meet up or no... It's not on you... I'm pretty sure if you guys had been there Edryd would have used that damn sword on you... And then you probably would have been so sick that you weren't able to be here..." Frea murmured, shaking her head slightly with a small sigh.
"... And then you wouldn't have been there to catch Talarr or I when the Tower fell, yeah...? And you wouldn't have been here now, with Drennios... Or anything else you've been helping with..." Frea pointed out softly, "... You guys have saved me twice already, and probably a lot more that I don't know about while I've been out... Honestly, you have nothing to be guilty for... And please don't think I don't mean it, when I say thank you... I do mean it..." She murmured quietly, her eyes flashing as they all kept their eyes down a bit longer, stiff in place and seemingly biting the insides of their cheeks. She smiled again as they glanced up slowly to meet her eyes, the smile a tad more bright than before, though weary still- not that she could help it.
"... You guys don't need to be so wound up, you're not at fault... you've done a lot to help, and I appreciate all of it..." Frea hummed softly, and they felt their hearts twist at the smile, and the gentleness of her voice... At how much she meant it, and how much they knew she had meant it the whole time but didn't want to feel the warmth that came with it. Not under the doubt, not under how badly they felt when looking at her and seeing all the damage, knowing how badly she was hurt and trying to imagine just what she'd been out through while here... A hundred terrible things she did not deserve to have to go through, not after everything. Not after how hard she always worked all these years for the Guild, not after how much she'd sacrificed when fighting Mordren on all of their behalves.
After all of this, after having her body torn to shreds, her Magic and life stripped, and nearly drowned and in tears- could she still mean it? To them?
She is so unbearably sincere. So unbearably nice, and forgiving, and just... Just so unendingly kind, even under everything she's ever been put through.
.:+:.
... how could she have smiled and said thank you... after that...?
After what... it really was... for her...?
They were all shaking, the tears either already spilling or desperately being held back- Laxus could hear the way their breaths were hitching, sense the way they were trembling, and practically all the turmoil too... it didn't matter if they had never been all that close to Frea, they cared about her as a Guild Member, and then probably more so after all that had gone on- this was hard to hear, and it hurt.
He almost wavered on saying it at all... but he did it anyway. Even if Frea wouldn't have wanted it, or he might not have had a right to... He told them, because he thought it would be better if he explained it. And that way Frea wouldn't have to do it herself, or feel she had to when she didn't want to.
"... she... she can't have... been able to say thank you... n...not after that..." Evergreen hissed, Laxus' blinking his eyes open and glancing up slowly,
"... she... she got pulled into it... a-and we couldn't stop it... we should have... but..." Bixlow mumbled shakily, his eyes flashing as his fingers twined together tightly, his hands on the back of his neck and hunched a little.
"... there's no way... she could stand to... thank us for any of it... not after we let her... get taken... and Drennios... did that..." Freed whispered, his eyes shutting tight and fists clenched tightly at his sides. "... how could she... even manage to say it... o-or... h..how could she... A... after something so... terrible...?"
Laxus expression softened slightly, his eyes flashing at the three, all their eyes down, voices tense and absolutely rueful, and guilty. He bit down on the inside of his cheek for them shaking, for the words, for what they were questioning now... because it took little for him to understand what they were talking about- because he'd wondered it before himself, and he swallowed.
.:+:.
"Look! The Sakura's are blooming!"
"Woah!"
A sudden gleam of rainbow lit up the night sky around them as the wind suddenly swept past, carrying up the trees leaves with them in an array of gleaming and glittering multicolor. The petals swirled on the air, twisting and turning in intricate patterns and ways as the flow of color suddenly wove its way around the two of them, and for a moment it seemed all other noise in the world suddenly died away, and it was just them- just Frea and Laxus, alone in their own small corner of the world for a few long moments.
Laxus felt his heart jump in his chest, eyes riveted as he stood in the utmost stillness that reflected the stillness that time seemed to have so suddenly,
How... How could anyone do this?
Not a week ago, he had found her, alone, broken, falling apart from the murderous, utterly terrifying things she held in her past and in her mind. She had been beaten and bloody to no end, and she had been so shattered she had broken down to the point of sobbing... the same Frea he had never seen cry or even shed a single tear in all the years he had known her, had been reduced to crying so much she hadn't been able to stop for such a long time. He remembered with an ache in his chest how haunted and hurt she had looked, how terrified and pulled apart she was- he saw it all, in her body, in her eyes, in her expression.
How was it possible for anyone to cast off all the darkness? All that pain and suffering he had seen in her, all of it that had crashed over her head and managed to swallow her whole? How could anyone have pulled themselves from something like that... and look like the person he saw before him now?
How could anyone who had known such true and utter pain be so gentle? So kind and caring? How could anyone who endured the torment and the torture Frea must have possibly be so bright, look so truly happy and cheerful? How could she even find the strength to keep going, with all that, all that's she's been through pulling at her, dragging her down?
How... How is it she was smiling at him with the most bright, gentle, and soft smile, her eyes gleaming in happiness and calm... ?
.:+:.
His shoulders sank at the memory of it, shaking hs head slightly as he straightened up from leaning on his knees, his expression nothing but calm as he looked at those three in front of him- all of them, shaking and stifling their sobs, their minds whirling in shock, pain, disbelief, guilt... everything.
"None of this is on you guys." Laxus told them steadily, their shoulders hunching against it right away.
".. b..but we..."
"... she was supposed to be... with us... n...not here..."
"... and we... should have..."
"It's not your fault." Laxus repeated again, shaking his head once. "All the 'should haves' and 'what ifs' don't matter- you were there. You guys found her and fought with everything you had." He murmured evenly, his eyes flashing as he let out a silent breath. "... and whatever she said, and told you thank you for, she did mean it." He added softly and they flinched slightly at the assertion. "Don't blame yourselves for any of this, it's not on you in anyway... Everything will fine eventually, just give it a bit... and give Frea a little. She'll be alright, even after what's gone on... she just needs time to... work through it..."
They stared, eyes glistening and confused- how could he say that? That it was fine, that things would be okay, and... and she would too? How could he be so calm and sound so sure of it, after all of this? After she'd been taken and forced into everything, nearly drowned, broken and hurt and almost dead, lying in a bed for hours racked by nightmares without end-?
Laxus sighed, his attention shifting from them and casting a glance upward at the moon tucked away behind the red glow of Jynx's Magic overhead. His face fell slightly, weariness poking through along with the calm that seemed so out of place- and calm and steadiness they did not understand. The Thunder Legion paused on the look, quiet and fixed, and their eyes widening slightly for the wispiness Laxus' voice adopted next.
"... It doesn't make sense, but... she's always... finding some way passed all the bad, no matter how bad it is... she keeps on being... bright... always... even when it doesn't make sense..." Laxus murmured softly, his aqua blue eyes flashing in the dim.
... and even if this time... she's probably going to break apart worse than every time before now...
... she'll... still end up doing it... finding a way passed all the bad, like she always does... the thing I don't get...
"... That's just... who she is..."
.:+:.
... Hmm...?
She blinked slowly, above her the same canopy, in the same unfamiliar room, in the same quiet, and dim... but this time she wasn't groggy, hot, or heavy. The minute she came up into wakefulness nothing was distorted, or disorienting- her mind felt clear, and she had no trouble at all opening her eyes. She felt tired still but it wasn't overwhelming, her thoughts weren't a fractured storm and mess of things, and even her body had lost a lot of that heavy ache. The headache still lingering was slight, the Energy and emotion swirling on the air still a bit of a mess but it wasn't overwhelming either... For the exception of the persistent tightness and soreness in her chest, and the dull throbbing of her right shoulder... Well, she felt pretty fine.
... How do I feel fine... After... All of that...?
... I... Don't get it...
She blinked, her eyes narrowing in thought when some splintered portion of Laxus' voice bounced across her thoughts a moment.
"... sleep Frea, the next time you wake up you'll feel better... just sleep..."
She let out a low breath, her eyes flashing as she bit the inside of her cheek. There was little she remembered other than that, and some faint recollection of his breath against her face... And then the... Little bit of talking with Porlyusica... She remembered that too, quite clearly, and she wished she didn't really.
But that just makes me wonder more... If I got hurt that badly... Why do I feel sort of okay...?
... How long have... I been out of it...? It... Doesn't feel that long...?
What's gone on... In the meantime...?
She turned her head left, silver eyes scanning the space quickly and the search ending quite abruptly. Master Makarov was sitting at the bedside in a chair, his hands folded in his lap and eyes closed, quiet and seemingly either deep in thought or just dozing. She blinked, biting the inside of her cheek to see the wear and tear on the Old Man, bandages and bruises that made it clear he'd been fighting, though generally he seemed okay. It was nowhere near as bad as Laxus had looked, or the Thunder Legion, from what she remembered- but even still her stomach curled a little at it.
... Is the whole Guild... Hurt then...?
... Freed said they were... Fighting in the city, right...?
Her eyes fell slightly, grumbling internally to herself.
... Shit...
She shook the thought off as quickly as she could, deciding quickly she wasn't going to let herself fall into the swirl of turmoil lurking at the edges of her mind like some big, great beast. She couldn't touch it right now, she knew she'd crumble way too fast under it, and she did not want it... Not right now, please.
She moved her right hand in an attempt to brush her hair back from her face, but trying earned a sharp stab of pain running through her. She flinched, biting down hard on her tongue and eyes scrunching closed in reaction to it, holding her breath for a few seconds and waiting for it to fade away and return to that throbbing she'd mentioned earlier.
... Oww... Owww...
She cracked her eyes open slowly, glancing down to find her right arm pinned securely to her torso with a sling still. She couldn't move it if she wanted to, and trying was just painful- as she'd found out, and she frowned slightly.
... That's annoying...
She huffed slightly under her breath, switching to her left instead and drawing it up slowly, her eyes finding the tightly wound length of bandages around her wrist and hand.
... This... Hurt pretty badly before too... Didn't it...?
Back at the Door... With the chains...
... When it was... Opening... And I... Tch...
She grimaced faintly, closing the hand into a fist and resting it lightly against her forehead, her eyes closing against the memory.
... Shit... I said... Don't think about it... Right now...
She forced her hand to relax, brushing her hair back from her eyes and letting it fall slowly back down, and land on her chest gingerly. She felt the faint thumping of her heartbeat in her fingertips, small, intermittent increases of ache coming every few beats.
... I suppose... It's probably gonna be sore for awhile... Huh...?
... If it... Really was... Failing...
Movement at the corner of her eye caught her attention, her head turning slightly in that direction and blinking as she caught Master Makarov's gaze, his head lifting slightly from having been in his thoughts. They both paused, the Old Man a little stunned for half a second, before a tired smile crossed his face and he seemed to let out a breath he'd been holding for way too long.
"There you are, Brat." Master breathed, his eyes gleaming as he shifted a little closer in his seat as his hand fell gently on her shoulder, smiling faintly still. "It's good to see you awake." He hummed, and she blinked.
"... Sorry..." She mumbled reflexively, but he shook his head.
"Don't be." He hummed, "How do you feel?"
"... I feel mostly okay, actually... I'm just a little sore..." She mumbled slowly, and he nodded a bit in understanding. "... How long have I been out...?" She asked and he seemed to wilt a little at it, the smile gone quite quickly.
"About four days." He replied quietly and her eyes flashed at the answer,
"... S..seriously...?" She breathed and he nodded grimly, letting out a breath as his eyes dropped from her and to his hand on her arm.
"... You were in terrible shape when Laxus and the others brought you here, and they did their best to stabilize you when... Your heart started to give out on you..." Master murmured, his voice growing incredibly tense and uneasy at the end, and having to say it out loud. His hand on her arm trembled slightly and she felt her heart ache for the spark of pain and fear that came off him so quickly at the mere thought. Her eyes glittered, she hated seeing it again- the same fear and strain in him she'd seen after she had back after Mordren... Shit.
Master forced himself a calming breath though, shaking his head and steadying himself quite quickly- he knew all too well she could feel his emotions, and he didn't want to upset her, or make her feel badly for them.
"... They got your heart to slow down again, and even out to something more normal with Laxus' help, and stopped it giving out completely." Master kept on and her eyes widened at the words, because what?
"... What do you mean with Laxus' help...?" She interrupted quickly and he sighed again, his eyes moving from his hand.
"... Porlyusica had him use his Magic, to alter the rhythm of your heart into something less dangerous than it was." Master explained softly, "It worked. He kept your heart from stopping altogether while he did it." He murmured and Frea stiffened slightly for the explanation, her eyes darting away from him and her hand against her chest curling slightly into a fist.
... Is that why my chest hurts so much still...? Because he... Had to use his Magic on me...?
"... That... I guess that... makes sense..." She mumbled slowly, her eyes narrowing to slits and frowning faintly. Her eyes glittered as she bit the inside of her cheek quite hard, a small breath escaping her and Master tilted his head at the reaction, quiet as he watched the way her hand balled up for a moment there.
"... Do you remember anything at all?" He asked after a moment and she shook her head stiffly.
"... No... It's a huge blur..." She mumbled, "... I remember sort of before it, back in that Hall... But... Everything after that is... Fractured or just not there at all..." She grumbled, and he nodded a little.
"I'm not surprised." He murmured, earning her questioning eyes again. "You had an extremely fever for well over a day after all of that, and you were rather delirious through all of it... They kept you sedated to keep your body from working too hard while it ran it's course." He explained softly, his expression pulling when hers twisted a bit at the news.
Yeah, that would explain... All of that.
The constant back and forth, the confusion, the unending rounds of nightmares... They were all blurred together still in her head, but she remembered the disorienting storm she'd seemed to be trapped in. And if she'd had drugs hampering her down on top of it like he said- that was why she'd never been able to really wake up all the way, as unpleasant as it was.
"... I see..." She mumbled, he patted her arm once or twice in a gentle, reassuring gesture.
"... We had to wait for the fever to break before Talarr and Porlyusica worked on your injuries any further more, to give you time to recover from the initial shock of it all." The Old Man went on, "Once they set to work again it took several hours, but from what they said- they'd managed to fix the worst of the damage, and start to mend the rest of it... You've been sleeping since." He murmured, "They'll try again in another day or so, and do what else they can, but for now you need to recover from everything you've had to go through; being worked on, or otherwise." He told her softly, "Porlyusica's efforts combined with Talarr's, and all the incredible Inventions and Tools here, have all been extremely useful in helping you... But your body still needs time to rest, regardless of how effective they are." He added, and she nodded once.
"... Got it..." She mumbled, "... What about everything else...? With the rest of the Guild, and the city, and all the fighting...?" She asked lowly, "... I got the impression that things... kinda went to hell... After I opened that Door, huh...?" She mumbled tensely and he let out a long, quiet breath.
"... Everyone in the Guild is fine, though they are not unscathed. There was quite a lot of fighting to be done against the Kullui, as they were corrupted by the Magic that escaped from the Door before it was shut again. Everyone in the Guild fought hard against them, and worked to help lessen the chaos they brought, and for quite awhile... but they will be alright. They simply need rest now, and most of them are at the moment- scattered about the castle." He murmured, pausing for a moment as he seemed to grimace. "... The damage the city sustained was not small, most of the citizens were injured, many of them severely so... And there have been a number who were wounded fatally, despite anyone's efforts." He told her slowly, warily almost and his heart clenched to see the way her expression twisted at the news. "... The Souls of the Damned that were running amuck as Jynx told us, have all been dealt with and sent back to where they came. The Kullui have been defeated in full, and what fighting is left has been limited to some of the Noble Castes still trying to resist... But it is nothing to worry over, it will end soon. For now it's just a matter of settling down, and trying to contend with the aftermath of it all."
Frea's shoulders hunched, her eyes darting away from him again and swallowing hard.
Chaos, and mayhem, people fighting for their lives, getting hurt and... And killed...
... Because of... What I let out... Of that... Damn Door...
... How many people is that? A 'number of them'...? In a city this big...?
... How many hundreds... Thousands of people... Got thrown into... A massacre... Because of...?
Her breathing picked up, her body tense and eyes shutting tight against the thoughts- damn it those thoughts, those things she told herself not to... to get sucked into...
...n..not right now... Please...
Master Makarov's face fell, his lips pulling into a tight line for the way he felt her tremble under his hand, and how desperately she seemed to be trying to keep her breathing steady so suddenly. His hand left her arm and instead took her hand up, twining his fingers around hers and the other landing on top of her head ever so lightly.
"Listen to me Frea... What happened after the Door was opened is not your fault." Master told her calmly and she grimaced further at it, still not looking at him but her hand in his did tighten a little despite herself. "You were given no choice in the matter, and you resisted it as hard you could, even when it ended up injuring you severely. None of this was your doing, do not feel responsible for it in any way." He told her gently, but firmly all at once, and she swallowed against the reassurance.
... B..but... Tch... Shit...
... I didn't resist it... The whole time... I...
"It isn't your fault." Master repeated again, "The fault for this lies with no one but the King. It was on his orders you were brought here, and on his orders alone that you were forced into tampering with that Door- what followed is on his hands, and all the others who fought on his side through it all, only to bring more havoc and pain. You suffered under his actions and choices just as much as everyone else in this city, if not more." He murmured firmly, and Frea looked his way slowly, quiet still but at least she was listening. He gave her a nod when he caught her eyes, his hand in her head messing her hair up a bit as he rubbed it, before drawing it back again. He let out a low breath, shaking his head as his eyes dropped closed and his hand still linked with hers tightened just a fraction, his expression turning a tad agitated and angry for a moment, and she blinked at it.
"... There is no blame to be had for you, nor will there ever be. The people of Adgnei know it was not your choice, and most all of them have already heard about what the King attempted to do, and what he did to you in the process... That Collar he ordered to be put on you in particular has not gone over well with anyone." He growled hotly, Frea biting the inside of her cheek for the sheer ire and rage that sparked off the Old Man as he said it, though he kept it bottled up for the most part. "Hmph, I am seething still that he would ever dare use such an awful thing on you, and my rage is echoed in both the Guild, and everyone else in Adgnei we fought alongside with... Everything you were put through was awful enough, but that thing was monstrous." The Old Man growled, his voice flinty.
Frea swallowed a little, her eyes falling away from the Old Man again and silent. She didn't say anything, she wasn't really sure what there was to say at all... nor was she sure if anything he said had made even the smallest dent in that terribly twisted, guilty feeling in her core. So she kept her mouth shut, forcing herself not to let herself stay wrapped up in it, or be worked up about it either- she'd been worked up enough already, and instantly, and she hated it.
... just... leave it... for now... damn it...
Master forced a breath after a moment, pushing the anger down as best he could and looking up again, Frea's eyes stuck on the roof and not him, and he frowned slightly.
"... are you alright, after... all of this...?" He asked softly and she blinked, glancing his way and offering up a small, tired smile for half a second.
"Yeah, I'm okay." She hummed lightly,
No I'm not
"None of this was really... all that great, but... I'm alright. I feel a lot better now than I did before, so that definitely helps." She added softly, her eyes flashing as she smiled a tad more, and hated how shaky it felt. She sorely hoped that he didn't notice it.
... I just can't do it right now... I can't let myself think about it... because...
"I'm alright, this isn't any worse than what I've gotten through before, so don't worry about me, Master."
... it's actually... so much worse...
... S...shit...
... I don't want... any of this...
.:+:.
Drennios had not moved. He'd been left to sit in that Cage made up of Runes that Freed had erected, and no one had paid Him any mind at all, they were all too focused on Frea for awhile after that, Talarr especially. But when the lull came in, and the rush faded away, he made his way from the God-King's quarters, now commandeered by the Fairy Tailers and the Energess with them, and he headed into the Great Hall in utter silence. The Ilaen's eyes locked immediately to the cage and the familiar frail, small figure of his God-King, sitting in silence in the center of the cage. His arms were blood-ridden and torn to shreds, but the scarlet liquid had stilled and cached, not that Drennios seemed to care. He did not even move as Talarr moved up to the cage, slowly and hesitantly so, his face worn and eyes cast downward and stuck there- habit, tradition, fear, the whole works- not letting his gaze lift still.
Talarr didn't know what he was doing, or what he hoped to accomplish with this... he should have left it be, not given it a single thought... Drennios... Drennios had thrown all of this terrible chaos into motion, egged it on, insisted on it, never wavered, never relented... and Talarr had enabled it, in the start- and he never should have.
He felt awful for it, terrible, and guilt-ridden- so much he wanted to retch... he should feel guilty, and like a monster... he should not have felt worried for Drennios in that moment, not after all of it, but he did.
He wavered still and he hated himself more for it... but he could not stop himself.
Years spent serving this person, doing as they willed, maintaining the Tools and the Palace and the Kingdom for Him... taking care of Him, when the God-King's health began to fail, and Talarr did everything he could. Years spent, with this person... who had plucked him out of the city and rose him to this height, to Okeal, to the title of Ilaen- to that honor and responsibility that came with it... and he had so intended to be the best Ilaen he could be, and to the fullest of his ability.
He wanted to be loyal, and steadfast, and responsible, and live up to it... he wanted to do something good with the new life Drennios had awarded for him... so he did everything he was told, and he did not waver. Not until... now.
Was his betrayal justified...? The disloyalty to be overlooked by the Gods, because he'd been trying to do better...? To try and ease the chaos, lesson it, help those hurt by it...? Those... hurt by his blind obedience...?
Was it okay to disobey, and betray this person who had given him so much... if it meant peace was found, and lives could be saved...?
Was it alright to... be disloyal to this person... and turn his loyalty to everything else...? Everything that didn't involve furthering this... this massacre, and destruction...?
"... M... my King..." Talarr started uncertainly, only for his voice to fail him entirely.
"... tch, sniveling as always..."
Talarr stiffened at the hiss, his blood running cold and eyes snapping open wide, stuck to the floor and paralyzed in an instant.
... that... that's not... Drennios'... voice...?
It... It sounds... wrong...?
"... come to grovel...? Beg my forgiveness for your betraying me...? Looking for absolution...? Have you realized your Gods will punish you for your insolence, hmm..?"
Talarr gulped, his body shaking fervently in an instant and slowly breaking his eyes off the floor, the God-King's voice low, and cold, and... distorted...?
It was like with every word the voice changed to an entirely new one- a conglomeration of them, mixing and mashing together with each letter, and each pause... it... was unnatural, twisted...
"... you should be worried... there will be nothing waiting for you but pain and punishment after this... your Soul will be condemned for this... I will not forgive you any of what you've done, you fool... We will be waiting for you... and when we get you, we will never let you go..."
Talarr shuddered, his eyes lifting all the way and then halting, instantly deadlocked with Drennios' own- but that hazy, unseeing gaze Talarr had known for years was not there... not fully.
One of the God-King's eyes had turned pitch black, the center a sickly red color and glowing with terribly unsettling... e..evil....
"W...what the...?" Talarr stammered breathlessly, and Drennios' face twisted, a snarl and a wicked grin pulling at the gaunt features and turning them into something... utterly unrecognizable.
"... oh, do you see it now, finally after so long...?" Drennios' warped voice hissed, "... you blind fool, you've been so clueless haven't you..?"
Talarr backed up a pace, trembling like a leaf and heart pounding madly in his chest, terror and confusion gripping him tight.
... t...that's not... D...Drennios...?
"... w... what are...?" He gasped, his voice barely a whisper.
"Do you only now see the God you swore yourself to? The God you betrayed? You've been looking at me so long, and yet you never saw it, did you?" Was the terribly twisted hiss of many, many voices all in one, and Talarr swallowed hard, paralyzed.
W-what... is going.. on...?
"Hmm, you didn't want to see it, did you..? You were so intent on being a good little Ilaen weren't you? You let yourself do whatever I asked, you decided not to see it, didn't you?" He kept on, the red in the pitch black eyes glowing brighter and the face twisting more, more awful, more nightmarish.
N...No...
"You were so willing to be whatever we told you, you didn't question it- not until now, hmm? Tch... Of course it would be the damned Malurey that stripped the sheet from over your eyes..." The voices in the one body went on, hissing in agitation and smiling in twisted, sick pleasure all at once. "... mmm, you traded us out for something so much worse, you know...? The Malurey will be an even Darker force than all of us combined... she'll bring the world to it's knees... will you follow her to that end too...?"
Talarr shivered, eyes wider than ever now and his heart skipping a beat.
... did... it mean... the Energess...?
S-surely... n...not...? R...Right...?
"Cease with your poisonous words."
Talarr jumped, a startled gasp of air escaping him and nearly tipping over in his fright at the suddenly clear and demanding voice out of literally nowhere- and more so at the sudden appearance of a young girl beside him. She seemed to materialize out of thin air, her red eyes narrowed and level on the twisted figure of Drennios, utterly steady under the ire and the hatred that appeared in Him at the sight of her.
"Tch, you-" It hissed, but her hand swiped decisively outward, the words cut off in a strangled cacophony of hundreds of voices screaming and yelling from deep within Drennios, and then nothing. The God-King fell silent, His head tilting forward against His chest and motionless once more. Talarr jumped at it, flinching backward from her and eyes gleaming in fear and confusion behind his glasses.
"... y.. you...?" Talarr stammered breathlessly, his eyes narrowing as he took her in quickly and recognized her- this was that same girl that had been up in the Tower, the one who had closed the Door...!
She glanced toward him calmly, her red eyes meeting his and her hands hooking behind her back. She dipped her head to him slightly, her expression utterly unreadable, and he swallowed. There was a pressure to her, an innate, thrumming sense of Power that pricked at his mind and had his skin crawling. She seemed ancient, and immeasurable, and he stared, his mind stalling and not able to fathom who or... what she was... or what she just did-
"Do not heed what they said." She murmured lowly, and he blinked. "They are twisted things, damned beings... they only wish to frighten you, cloud your mind with doubt, and guilt, and drag you down to their level. Do not let them, Ilaen." She hummed and he frowned, swallowing hard as his hands wrung togetther tightly.
"... w... who are you...?" He managed to stammer,
"My name is Jynx." She replied simply, "I am the Seleyn, the Mortal Embodiment of Soul." She explained and he stiffened,
"... t..that's you...?" He breathed, "Y-you closed the Door, your Magic is what was over all of Adgnei...!"
"Yes." She replied lightly, and he shook his head a little, his mind having a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that someone so... so immeasurable and powerful seemed just... a young girl...
He shook the thought off quickly, his eyes flashing and casting an anxious flance toward the deadly silent God-King.
"... what did you do...?" He asked slowly, "... what... that wasn't Drennios... there was too many voices, His eye..."
"... that is Drennios." The Seleyn told him steadily and he flinched at it. "That is how Drennios has been for very long now... The God-King you knew has been this, a body stripped of it's own Soul, and consumed entirely by several Souls and the Damned." She explained lowly, "They did not all present themselves at once before now, no... but they were always there, and more lately have stuffed themselves inside that body, vying for control, corrupting the physical form."
"... w..what do you mean...?" Talarr hissed, tears pricking at his eyes in fright and her expression softened a tad.
"... For many years now, the Drennios you first met has been being fed on by Evil Souls. They latched on to him, corrupting his Soul slowly over time, and more and more possessing his body as his Soul became further dimnished as it was consumed by their corruption, and evil nature... all until this, where now there is nothing left of the Soul that once belonged to that body. It's been overtaken completely, and all that is left are those many Damned Souls." Jynx murmured, her head tilting slightly to the God-King, but her eyes never leaving the Ilaen. "They wanted the Door opened, so they could use the Power in it to gain a truer, more powerful form than this body allowed... they wished to let Darkness take over this country in full, and then the world after. They used the God-King to do it."
"... s...so... then... He wasn't always...?" Talarr stammered, and Jynx shook her head.
"No. The God-King you met, and who made you his Ilaen, was not this. That Soul and that person is gone now, but you did not always follow someone so evil." Jynx murmured, Talarr grimaced, his eyes falling to his hands.
"... b... but I was... after awhile... through all of this I was... doing whatever... evil wanted of me..." He hissed shakily and Jynx let out a small breath.
"... it is not easy to see evil in the people we care for. You pledged yourself to the Drennios that was not evil, in the beggining, and you cared for that person... do not begrudge yourself for not seeing the change, or the darkness as it seeped in. All that matters is that eventually you did see it, and you acted on it." She hummed coolly, "Your actions against all this discord are what matter, and your sense of right and wrong is no worse off for what you've done before now. You are not an evil person Talarr, you simply made a mistake." She told him, and his eyes gleamed slightly, teary still, and fixed.
"You have time in plenty to make up for your mistake, and time more still to put good into world, that far outweighs any of the evil that has stained it."
.:+:.
Master explained the rest of what had been going on, and what had happened- the Guild either spread out in the Palace and fast asleep from being exhausted, or otherwise helping the people of Adgnei set up, see to their injuries, or down in the city searching the rubble for people in need. Frea had asked for little specifics in the conversation, she didn't want to know in case it made it harder to hold together her strained emotions anymore than it already was. And on Master's part he did not ask much of her, he'd been told what had happened by everyone else who'd been involved- which was probably for the best... because mostly she'd either been unconscious, or in no state to really remember all that had gone on, and again- she didn't want to think about it, it would just make her crumble faster.
He'd told her that Moon had been sick from getting hit by Edryd's sword, though she was fine now and off with Lily checking in on things in the city, the both of them accompanying Wendy and Carla as the little Dragon Slayer did her best to help people who were still hurt. All four of them had been there in the room for quite awhile beforehand, but once her condition had stabilized they'd felt okay enough to focus on others.
And then he told her about Saige's exploits helping them in this mess along with Adgnei's Thieves Guild, and Shae, Samuel, and Corbynn from Iki and Uno's Guild... she didn't know who Shae was but she'd been faintly surprised about the former Zentopia Mages suddenly popping up. And all of them were either asleep, or working elsewhere- Saige in particular apparently deeply invested with Aisha, Chase, Edryd, and someone named Theregist, to try and pick up the pieces of the now destroyed government and rule in Adgnei. Drennios had apparently stayed locked up and with no intent to let him out- according to Jynx he wasn't really him, but more an empty shell consumed and corrupted by a number of Dark Souls.
That had lead into some tense explanations about what had occurred with the Souls of the Damned and the Rifts that had popped up in the city, the chaos those Souls brought with them, and Jynx's actions to quell them- which was apparently a show of Power and Magic on her part that was entirely unseen of from the ghost girl... which honestly, did not surprise Frea in the least. This was the one place on earth where the Force of Creation for Soul was housed, and Jynx was the Mortal Incarnate of that Magic- it made complete sense she would be at the height of her ability while here.
But Frea didn't let herself linger too long on that thought in the moment, and thankfully she earned another distraction when Porlyusica arrived. Her appearance did however lead to another brief little discussion about the state of herself... which was not fun, since Master seemed to flinch every time an injury got brought up, or the damage on her heart was mentioned too. His worry sparking against her skin made her feel sick every time, and she hated all of what had happened even more- but again, she could not touch it.
Not now
She wasn't laying in the bed anymore, she'd been permitted to sit up instead. To which now she was sitting crosslegged on the bedtop, and leaning slightly back into the pillows that had been propped up behind her. Sitting up hadn't been too hard, spare the ache in her chest and not being able to actually use her right arm to help her to it- but once she was up she felt fine... physically, anyway.
She let out a quiet breath, her eyes fixed onto the surface of water within a glass half-full in her hand, still and silent. Somewhere on the far end of the room where the Surgical Table and whatever was, Porlyusica and Master were talking quietly to themselves, though she didn't pay it any mind. Their voices were little but a muffled drone on the edge of her focus, her thoughts sinking deeper and deeper into the pit lurking at the edges of her mind, and she had no way of stopping herself from falling into it. The minute she had no one else to focus on, and the silence sank in again, she couldn't keep herself from tipping over the edge into the swirl of everything that she didn't want to touch.
The Door, the Souls that had come out, the destruction that followed, how hard everyone had to fight, knowing they were hurt for it... Drennios and the Collar, the Siphon that forced her Magic from her... up until the end, when she...
She grit her teeth, her eyes flashing and her grip around the cup tightening, light bouncing off the liquid as her hand trembled faintly and disrupted it.
... I... gave in... to it...
There was an ache in her chest deeper than what came with the damage done unto her heart, and all thereafter because of it. Deep, deep down where she could feel it still, festering, bigger, colder, darker... so much darker than before now, it was almost all that was left. Thinking about it made the cold lurch, spinning faster now in the depths of her core, reacting- and she grit her teeth harder, her grip more rigid, the liquid in the cup jostling again.
"The abyss is more inviting than you know."
She heard something crack, the sound clear and low, and instantly snapping her from her thoughts, her eyes dodging off the surface of the water and to the edge of the cup itself. She stiffened, her lips pulling into a tight line to see the hairline fracture that had suddenly run up it's side, bending under the pressure of her grip that she hadn't been aware had turned so forceful.
She hissed under her breath, pulling the cup to her lips and drinking the last of the water in it, before it could start to seep past the break. Her hand and the glass with it fell again into her lap, slowly so, her eyes locking to the crack crawling up the surface and huffing slightly under her breath.
... Idiot... what about not thinking... about it...?
It made it worse, that she knew damn well no matter how hard she tried, there was no avoiding it. Eventually one of these times she was gonna get sucked in too far and she'd... break...
... Tch...
She shook her head at herself rather hotly, setting the cup down on the nightstand. Then she pulled her arm up to her face, her nose twitching as she gave herself a tentative sniff, and frowned. She smelled heavily of sweat, which she supposed wasn't a huge surprise if she'd been running a fever- but it was overwhelming, along with the scent of blood, medicine, whatever. She felt gross, which didn't really help for how awful she felt just on her own, and in her own head.
Movement at the corner of her eye caught her attention, her arm falling slightly as she glanced right. There in the entryway to this half of the room was a wolf, it's fur icy white and silver with orange eyes. She didn't recognize it as one of the wolves that had been with Seyre before, but she knew it had to be... What caught her immediate interest was not the wolf itself though, but the little girl that was with it- and who skittered behind the wolf to try and hide the instant Frea looked that way.
Hmm...?
The girl was a few inches shorter than the wolf's head, her head of pale blue hair ducking behind the wolf as best she could possibly manage, and a startled breath of air escaping her. From what little Frea caught of her she seemed to be dressed up in plain, all white clothes and nothing else, and she paused for it.
... Oh, she's one of the Barren...
She'd not seen any since being brought to the Palace, though she knew well they were there- she could hear their soft footfalls around the corners, feel their Energy Signatures faintly even under the mess all the Energy was. It was very much like how Mordren's life and memories had been, the Barren had always been there even so very, very long ago- glimpses of them in the corners of his mind and his eye, but they were never in the forefront. They sort of had to make themselves scarce and act like they weren't there... Mordren and Reyan both had never been outrightly cruel to the Barren, they just never really paid them much mind.
... I suppose I didn't really either...
She sighed slightly to herself, her eyes flashing as the wolf seemed to let out a small huff at the girl trying desperately to hide behind it, her little hands pulling at it's fur to try and keep it in place.
Frea offered up a small smile, her head tilting a tad as she waved a hand lightly their way. "You don't need to hide." She hummed softly, the girl stiffening at being addressed and her fidgeting coming to a quick stop too as she went deadly still. "... There's no need to be afraid or anything, I don't mind you being here at all." She added and the girl hesitated further, the wolf losing it's patience and stepping to the side a little firmly. The girl was forced out from behind it, a startled gasp escaping her as she tugged at it's fur trying to get it back in it's place again, but the wolf nudged it's nose behind her back and pushed her forward ahead of it. The girl stumbled slightly, rigid as can be still, and her eyes locked to the floor, not daring to look up even when the wolf nudged her forward another step or two. Frea let out a small breath at it, her expression softening as she gave the little girl a slightly sad smile.
"You can come over." Frea murmured softly, her left hand beckoning slightly to the bed. The girl paused still, but another nudge from the wolf had her walking toward the bed rather stiffly, her eyes stuck to the floor all the way through. The wolf lead the way mostly, rounding the bed with the girl holding tightly to clumps of its fur, and then drawing up slowly still a few feet from where she was, not that Frea would push it. It was clearly hard enough for the young girl to come over at all- a life being taught not to look at someone like Frea, or even be in the presence of her, still biting at the child's heels.
"... Hello." Frea murmured softly, dipping her head a little to try and catch the girl's downward eyes. The girl ducked her head shyly still, and the wolf nuzzled it's head under her chin, directing her to look up ever so slowly, and at first the little girl's eyes darted to everywhere else except Frea. Frea waited patiently, a small smile still gracing her face while the girl's eyes kept moving, before cautiously finding her, her hold on the wolf tightening a little as looked slowly up from Frea's middle and then to her face finally, and their eyes matched- silver on green. "... It's nice to meet you." The Energy Dragon Slayer hummed quietly and the girl blushed at it, "... You actually have perfect timing, if you wouldn't mind helping me a bit..?" Frea asked lightly and she perked a little, her head tilting. "... Do you know if there's anywhere that I could take a shower... Or... A bath...?" Frea asked slowly and the girl's eyes flashed, nodding tentatively. The girl paused, one of her hands leaving holding onto the wolf, and shaking as she paced forward a pace or two and held it out for Frea, uncertainly so- and Frea let out a quiet sigh at it, her smile fading only a tad. She reached her left hand forward, taking the offered hand gently, the little girl's face flushing again as she blushed rather deeply at the contact, her lips twitching upward at the edges for half a second.
Frea dipped her head slightly to the girl, her hold on the smaller's hand growing a little steadier as she hummed a bit under her breath.
"... Thank you."
.:+:.
"Call if you need anything, but in the meantime just relax and take it easy. If you start feeling dizzy, you need to get out immediately."
"... I will Granny... And yeah, I will..."
She sighed, her silver eyes flashing as she stared at the floor directly in front of her, her chin in the crook of her arm and elbow, and resting on the stone flooring all around the bath, which was sunken below floor level. The stone itself was quite cold as compared to the water she was submerged in up to her shoulders, though she didn't dare let herself stop hugging it to her center regardless... not even with her right shoulder aching slightly less for the warmth of the water, and it might have been better served to let herself sink underneath more. Porlyusica had helped her with pulling the bandages and everything off before getting in, so the sling had gone too and it was just herself to make sure she didn't jostle the very broken bone too much. Which wasn't hard to do, she didn't move much at all... Because even the soothing warmth wasn't enough to get rid of all the tension in her limbs.
She would have preferred a shower, just the initial sight of the water sitting in the bath was enough to make her tense up, regardless of the calm of the surface, or the steam rising up from it without end. Rationally she knew it wasn't even deep enough she couldn't touch the bottom of it at all times, but the scent of the moisture hitting her nose had her heart picking up despite herself, and it had taken a lot longer to step into it than she liked.
The heat helped, and the scent of herbs and whatnot floating in it did too- it was nothing like the chilling, pitch black, death-scented ocean of the Reach. So she could handle it, she didn't freak out about it- it was a bath for fuck's sake... But she didn't dare move from the edge into the center, all the same.
She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes falling halfway and grumbling internally to herself.
She needed a bath. She needed not to smell like sweat, and tears, and whatever else. She needed time to just sit in the warmth and try to relax as much was possible...
She jumped slightly, something soft and gentle pressing against her cheek and she blinked, her eyes meeting the yellow ones of the wolf. It had followed her in and settled down into laying at the bathside, silent in it's place, and watchful almost. The Barren Girl that had come with it was gone for now, she'd ducked away after showing Frea to the bath and Frea wasn't really sure where she went, or if she planned to come back. The wolf had lift it's head and pressed it's nose gently against her cheek, after the silence stretched on a little too long, and Frea had not moved an inch. It was a sort of reassuring gesture Frea figured, and she wilted slightly for it.
"... Is it that obvious...?" She mumbled lowly and the wolf's ears pricked at it, it's head dipping once and she frowned.
... Of course it is... Damn it...
The wolf didn't pull it's face back from her all the way, instead it nuzzled her cheek gently, and she closed her eyes at it.
"... Mm... You're definitely one of my favorite wolves, of the ones I've met..." She mumbled halfheartedly, "... Grant you, any wolf is better than Shadow... But you're definitely much better..." She grumbled and the wolf nuzzled her a few seconds more, before pulling it's head away entirely and she let out a low breath.
She leaned back off the edge of the tub, letting her left hand drop into the water and then pressing it against her neck tenderly. The contact was unpleasant, and stung, given the skin of her neck and shoulders were still badly bruised and burned from the Collar. But even the heat from the water against the wounds was sort of a good unpleasant, and got less unpleasant as she repeated the action a few times. She then drew her hand gently over body, washing off the remaining stickiness of the sweat as best she could manage with the one hand, before slowly letting herself sink under the water until it reached her chin.
She stopped short there, glaring at the light bouncing off the surface and gritting her teeth for halting at all. She sucked in a breath of air and held it, her eyes shutting tight as she forced herself all the way under the surface, the ripple of water on her ears falling instantly muffled and quiet.
She hated how quickly her heart picked up the instant she went under, how quickly panic started to creep in and fear with it- she pushed back at the unwanted sensations, reminding herself and cursing herself over and over for the reaction at all.
It's a fucking bath you idiot
She wasn't sure how long she stayed with her head under the water, but however long it was felt too long. She broke through the top again, panting slightly now and pushing herself back against the edge of the bath, the contact of the stone on her back so much more reassuring than it should have been.
She hugged her right arm closer to her body, her other arm holding to it and swallowing hard. Her heartbeat sounded still too loud on her ears for a few long minutes afterwards as she sat in rigid silence, the surface of the water rippling with every slightly fast breath she took in. She sat there wihtout moving an inch, all the way until eventually the ripples and her pulse slowed again, and a small fraction of the rigidness in her body eased too... Though never all the way.
... There... That... That wasn't so bad... Right...?
She shook her head at herself, turning again to face the edge of the bath more and her left hand moving up again to grab the edge, her fingernails digging slightly into the surface of the stone, that hand trembling and she grimaced at it.
...tch... Then why doesn't my body agree...?
She shut her eyes against it, letting her elbow rest on the edge again and bringing her legs in a bit, her forehead falling to rest against the top of her hand.
... I can't... Let it... Do this to me...
... I can't be... Afraid of... Something so...
"... Frea...?"
She blinked, her eyes opening slowly as she tilted her head up just as slowly. There was someone there, sitting on their heels just in front of her, their hands folded uncertainly in their lap and tense... She hadn't heard... Anyone come in...?
Frea glanced up all the way, her silver eyes flashing in faint surprise as she met the other woman's eyes- who of which, was not someone Frea would have guessed would be there so suddenly at all. She'd have guessed it was Moon, Mira, Wendy, or even Erza before...
"... Evergreen...?" Frea mumbled under her breath and Evergreen's eyes glittered slightly, her expression faintly uneasy though she tried so hard not to look that way. Her hands linked together a bit more tightly in her lap, her head tilting faintly as light bounced off her glasses.
"... Are you alright...?" Evergreen asked softly and Frea blinked at it, and the clear concern and tension in Evergreen's face, hesitant for a moment, before dropping her eyes slightly and biting the inside of her cheek.
... That's right... The Thunder Legion saw how I... Tch...
... It is really that obvious...isn't it...?
... Shit...
"... I'm okay." Frea mumbled at length, her eyes on the floor and not on the other woman. "... I'm just... Still a little... Uhm... j...jumpy..." She admitted softly, cautiously so, and Evergreen's expression twisted at it, though she kept herself as composed as she could. Evergreen didn't want to show outwardly how hard the truth had hit her, or how badly it was tearing her up thinking about how awful it had been on Frea... It was terrible, and her heart felt broken knowing Frea had suffered through something like that unawares to anyone... Well, anyone but Laxus.
The whole of the Thunder Legion were hit hard by it, more so than they'd expected to be. They could not get it out of their heads, or stop thinking about it. They'd been restless and walking on eggshells around each other and Laxus too- which meant they were going to be walking on a million more eggshells around Frea, and they didn't want to. It wouldn't help anything if they were fidgety and uncomfortable, Frea would pick up on it in an instant, and it would do nothing to put the Energy Dragon Slayer at ease... and she sorely needed it.
Bixlow had made it clear to both Evergreen and Freed that they had to try and be as calm as they could be, even if it was hard to do. The Seith Mage told them it would be easier on Frea if they didn't press her too hard, or act like she was in so delicate a state they couldn't act normally around her. She needed as much normalcy as she could get while she did her best to work through it... and that was not to say they shouldn't be gentle with her, but they couldn't be over the top about it either.
More than anything though, Bixlow told them Frea needed their patience and calm, no matter what... And while Evergreen and Freed were unsure still about the instructions on their teammates part, they'd both decided to defer to his judgment on the matter. After all, when Frea had started to crumble after the whole ordeal and panic, it had been Bixlow who had not hesitated to help her calm down and settle again- and he did it with almost practiced ease. Bixlow knew better than they did how to handle reactions like that, panic attacks all such else. They'd known the Seith Mage had had his fair share of traumatic things in his past, but until his helping Frea, neither Evergreen or Freed had realized just how much their friend must have had to get himself through before finding Fairy Tail.
So though it was hard, Evergreen forced herself to remain as calm and collected as she possibly could. She stayed where she was, patient and tempered as Frea seemed to force a small sigh.
"... I'm... alright, though..." Frea said after a bit, her eyes trailing slowly back to Evergreen and setting her chin down on her hand. "... Are you okay...? Last I remember- you, Bixlow and Freed were pretty beat up..." Frea mumbled, her eyes glittering slightly. "... Laxus too... Are you all okay...?" She asked softly and Evergreen nodded a little.
"We're alright. Freed and Bixlow are here too, we were coming to check in on you." Evergreen replied, "But they stayed back in the other room. It wouldn't be appropriate for them to come in, not with you in the bath." The woman murmured and Frea smiled a tad at the bit of haughtiness that worked it's way into Evergreen's voice at the end there.
"... And Laxus...?" Frea murmured, and Evergreen paused a bit, looking a tad exasperated and tense all at once.
"... He is alright, though it will take longer for him heal all the way, than it'll take most everyone else." Evergreen mumbled with a small sigh, her eyes closing and missing the way Frea's expression twisted ever so slightly at the words. "He's been asleep for awhile now... though not nearly as long as it took to convince him to get some sleep at all." Evergreen muttered rather sharply and Frea nodded slightly, her eyes dropping down again.
"... Right..." Frea mumbled, and Evergreen cracked an eye open at the response. She let out a quiet breath, shaking her head slightly and reaching a hand forward toward the Energy Dragon Slayer.
Evergreen picked a little bit of leaf up out of Frea's hair, a scrap of it having clung to her from the many floating in the water, and after dunking her head the once. Frea looked up again in surprise, and Evergreen shook her head again, her eyes gleaming. "Every time I see you, your hair is a mess." Evergreen murmured flatly, huffing slightly as she flicked the little bit of leaf away, "Though I suppose I can't blame you much... you still can't move that arm nearly at all, can you?" She asked with a gesture toward Frea's right shoulder, Frea looking a little lost for a moment, before she nodded uncertainly.
"... Ah... Not really..." She mumbled and Evergreen nodded rather matter-of-factly,
"I'll help you with it." Evergreen said simply, and Frea's eyes widened slightly for the statement. "I can't let you go walking around without making it at least presentable- and I can't let you try to do yourself either, you'll probably just end up making it worse." Evergreen sighed and Frea stiffened faintly for... For the calm, and so at ease behavior.
Matter-of-fact, but still gentle, and kind... And so normal all at once
Her heart felt like it hurt again, just for a small second, and she bit her lip for it, her expression softening and her silver eyes gleaming. Her lips pulled at the corners in a small, ghost of a smile, and she nodded slightly.
"... Yeah, probably... heh... Thank you, Evergreen..."
.:+:.
The young little Barren girl came back, Evergreen's hands and trailing fingers sliding through Frea's hair as she worked to wind it into a braid, stilling a few moments before she popped back into the picture. The girl came in slowly, her hands full with clothes and Porlyusica not far behind, working silently as the girl and Evergreen both handing things off to the Old Lady as she worked to replace the bandages that had been taken off before the bath. They said nothing, the white lengths winding around Frea's neck, shoulders, and chest- covering the burns and bruising from the Collar, and the particularly tender flesh around the scar plastered across her chest. It had been rendered raw again from all the work done to her heart from Talarr, Laxus, and the Old Lady combined.
Then the bandages were wrapped tightly about her left hand and wrist, and all down her right arm- carefully so and with no small amount of wincing on Frea's part, before that arm got pinned securely back to her torso with a sling, and she could move it hardly at all (not that she wanted to). And then the Barren Girl handed the clothes over, Frea getting dressed before they all headed out of the room and left the bath behind altogether.
Freed and Bixlow were waiting as Evergreen had mentioned, both of them offering up small smiles as they came out, their eyes glittering slightly for the still persistent bandages covering the Energy Dragon Slayer, but she looked better than beforehand. She wasn't pale or fevered anymore, her hair had been pulled back into a neat braid, and she was up and on her feet with little issue or effort it seemed. Even the sling holding her right arm in place didn't really lessen how much better she looked- generally more healthy, more steady, if a bit tired still. More than anything though she was just quiet, and rather subdued. Even the little smile Frea offered up in return for them was a little shaky, and their hearts ached at it.
She didn't say much, not even when Moon, Lily, Carla and Wendy showed up.. And then she continued saying little when more people popped in, Erza, Mira, Natsu, Gray, Cana, Levy, Gajeel- anyone.
Through rounds of people popping in, their eyes darting over the bandages and the broken shoulder anxiously, asking how she felt and if she was okay- Frea smiled faintly, assuring them she was fine, but never going any further than that. She saw each successive familiar, worried face- every one of them covered in wounds, and bruises, and bandages, and her stomach curled more and more. She felt every flash of fear and pain from them, their wounds agitating them, and then their emotions running away from them when they saw the hurt, or thought about everything that had happened to her. They were dancing around her, fidgety, uneasy, and she hated the looks they were giving her when they thought she wasn't noticing. Like she was gonna fall apart right there and then, or she'd collapse, her heart would give out, anything.
They were waiting for her to crumble and break down, and she hated how little her trying to hide it made a difference.
Something wasn't right... But they had no clue how much so. They just knew it wasn't okay, how could Frea be okay? After all of this? Even if most of them didn't know the full extent of it all?
All of this chaos... She'd gotten so badly hurt through it, nearly died, forced into things, opened the Door and let loose nothing but destruction. They'd been fighting like hell, the city was in ruins, thousands of people dead and more injured- the Guild wasn't okay, so how could Frea be any better?
The Guild needed time to heal, to process, and to understand what happened- to just to wrap their heads around it all. They needed time to set themselves and their emotions straight, and Frea needed it too, much more so than they did.
And she hid it, much better than she realized she did- but even if they couldn't see it plainly, they knew it hit her, hard.
It must have, there was no way it couldn't have- but how little they could see it in her was just all the more disconcerting... And the few things they did pick up on? They were agonizing.
Little bits where she went quiet too long and her hands started to tremble, to which she seemed to snap herself back as quickly as she could and grit her teeth against it.
The way her hand lingered too long on someone else's when they reached out, and the way her voice shook slightly as she told those who had been there to help her after the Tower Collapsed thank you. To Gray, the Thunder Legion, Shae, Corbynn, Seyre, and Juvia- she gave her thanks quietly, tensely so... But she did mean it.
However, the way she flinched back from Juvia when the bluenette swept her up in a tearful hug did not go unnoticed. The way her body went rigid under the embrace, and for a few terrible seconds, her mind wiping clean as the woman's scent hit her nose and all she smelled was water and death.
Frea hadn't anticipated it, she didn't intend for it to happen- but her body reacted as it did, and she couldn't return the hug, or even want to. She stayed there, stiff as a board and her one free hand hovering, not daring to breathe and silver eyes locked down and staring into absolute nothing. She didn't hear what Juvia said, and at first she didn't even notice the way the Rain-Woman seemed to falter and pull away uncertainly, her eyes wide and confused when she caught the suddenly terrified look on Frea's face for but a second- and then it was gone.
Frea snapped herself back, fighting to erase any outward indication of the fear that hit her, the smell of death gone just as quickly as it came, and then it was just the smell of water. It was Juvia's scent, cool and crisp like rainfall in the winter- just like it should have been... and still for a few seconds it was anything but.
"... Are you...okay..?" Juvia mumbled quickly and Frea swallowed, her eyes flashing as she nodded, forcing her body to relax as much as she could.
"Yeah, I'm okay."
... How the hell... Could Juvia's scent have...?
And then the way Frea seemed to stiffen under their worried looks...? When her expression twisted, especially when someone tried to teeter on the edges of the topic of her heart, and what had happened to her up in the Tower..? And more so, for any mention regarding what she'd been muttering about and dreaming of when she'd been running a fever that seemed to have no end...?
"... Please stop staring at me like I'm gonna tip over." Frea muttered lowly. Her voice had an edge to it and they swallowed for it... and then their hearts ached more to see her lips pull into a tight line, her eyes falling as she forced a breath and shook her head.
"... I'm sorry, I know you're just worried... If it's okay with you guys... Can we just not talk about it...?"
She was too quite, too tense, too stretched out, and it almost seemed like she was constantly on edge. She didn't say anything about it, she didn't want to talk about it, or think about it. And she didn't want to keep on feeling their unease, fear, and ache sparking against her... She had enough of that all on her own.
The Guild exchanged tense glances between each other, eyes glittering and grimacing faintly to themselves.
They knew Frea would never show it... But all that had gone on? Being here, alone? Forced to open that Door, and then everything during, and thereafter?
She had to have been so scared during all of it, even as strong as she was. Anyone would be scared, right..? Even Frea...? What happened here was... Maybe even as bad as what had happened with Mordren...
... If only they knew that it might actually be worse that that.
Frea didn't get to go very long before Porlyusica (and just about everybody else) insisted on her getting more rest... And she didn't fight it, which made everyone else all the more wary.
Some of girls settled in, finding space on the ample room of the large as hell bed, and everything going quiet. Master and Porlyusica left the room at last, with the Thunder Legion in tow, and a few others. They left Erza, Mira, Moon, Wendy and Carla only, thinning down to just them even though everyone else might have preferred to stay. With less people maybe the Energy Dragon Slayer would relax, maybe she'd unwind, and some hint of that quiet and distant demeanor that had gripped tightly to her would crack a little bit.
Mirajane's hand moved lightly, twirling a section of Frea's bangs ever so gently between her fingers, the Energy Dragon Slayer's head resting in the Take-Over Mage's lap, and her chest rising and falling in low, slow rhythm. Mira was humming something quietly, the sound of it blending with the soft breaths from Frea, Wendy, Carla and Erza all around- Wendy on Frea's left and holding delicately to the Energy Dragon Slayer's arm and Carla both. Erza was on her right with her forehead pressed ever so slightly to Frea's shoulder- the redhead, Mira, Carla, and Wendy encompassing Frea on all sides, almost as if they were guarding her from everything else.
Moon grimaced a bit to herself, her ears falling slightly back against her head, sitting on the opposite side of Mira to where Frea was, unmoving with her paws in her lap as she watched Mira's trailing fingers quietly. The sound of the humming and the soft breathing was so pleasant, as compared to the hours of fevered breaths, and nightmare-fueled gasping that Frea had been gripped in only a few days before... Moon recalled what Lily had asked once the fever had gone down, pulling her attention to him gently and tense;
"... Does she usually have so many nightmares...?" Lily asked softly, and Moon stiffened at it.
"... More than you'd think." She replied quietly, her eyes falling and her shoulders hunching too.
"... This... This is just worse than usual..."
Moon forced a sigh, banishing the memory from the forefront of her mind as quickly as she could.
"... She'll be alright, Moon." Mira murmured softly, breaking her humming off slightly and casting the Exceed a glance. Moon's ear twitched at it, her eyes still stuck to Frea and not the white-haired woman.
"... I hope so." Moon mumbled, "... She... She was okay, after Mordren... She said she'd be okay when Edryd took her too..." She murmured, her paws in her lap tightening.
"I'll be alright, trust me... Go get the Guild." Frea's voice dropped despite herself, her legs shaking badly as the wall of Magic behind them moved forward, starting to swallow them whole. "I can hold out till you come get me, alright..?"
"... I think she really meant to be okay, when she said it... But..." Moon mumbled lowly, shaking her head slightly. "... She couldn't have realized how badly everything was going to go... I can't imagine how awful all of this was on her... Or how... Alone she felt..." Moon hissed and Mira frowned, her blue eyes glinting. Mira set her hand gently on Moon's head, rubbing between her ears, her expression tender as she caught Moon's eye only breifly.
"... She'll get through it, just like you did, Moon." Mira assured gently, the Exceed swallowing slightly at the little mention of what had happened with DeathBolt. Moon nodded stiffly, though she didn't say anything in return, and Mira left it that.
... I really hope... She can... But...
...tch... I'm so sorry Frea... That any of this happened...
.:+:.
Laxus grumbled a bit under his breath, the large man paused outside the entrance to the room and eyes flashing in the dim as he shot a look toward the bed. He didn't step inside the threshold, there was little point for him to with everyone else already there- but he did stay a few moments, his ears training to every little sound and delving further. He focused passed every breath, every word spoken between Moon and Mira just then, every hum, and all the way until he pinpointed the one thing he hadn't been able to stop trying to listen and focus on the last four days.
He heard the slow, even thumping of her heart, quiet and very much like it should have sounded- and he bit his cheek at the lurking thought and fear it might not sound like that every time he started listening.
He looked away, his eyes falling closed and forcing a silent sigh at the idea, gritting his teeth a bit.
He'd been up several times that last two days and a half or so, interrupting the sleep he was supposed to be getting (and sorely needed) to come back and just... Make sure things had stayed fine. He'd originally left and found a place to sleep only after Talarr and Porlyusica had finished their work following her fever breaking, and since then he'd not really gone more than 3-4 hours without getting up again, much to the Thunder Legion's agitation. This last time though, after Frea had stayed soundly asleep and with no real indication of waking up soon, or seemed to be bothered by dreams- he'd actually slept quite a bit longer, and all the way through her being up and about, apparently.
He'd have probably cursed himself for being obsessive, and acting like an idiot. He knew he was hovering and that was not something he did... But shit
I can't stop myself... Not when it comes to her...
But he didn't wish he could stop his constant back and forth, any more than he wished he could stop the sick feeling in his core coming back every time what happened popped back into the forefront of his mind.
His teeth grit a little more, banishing the memory before it could come to full fruition, his fists clenching at his sides and eyes flashing.
He knew damn well why it made him feel so nauseous, and so strung out, and so tense, and on edge, and even... Even scared.
He knew why, and he'd known why the Tower Collapsing earlier had caused him to stop dead in the middle of his fight with Nirav too.
He just... Hadn't really come to terms with it, not until after all of this- and now he couldn't just ignore it anymore, or shrug it off. He couldn't move passed it now and act like everything was as it was, because nothing was the same anymore... It wasn't a noticeable thing, but it had changed, and there was no way of going back.
He sighed, his hands relaxing at his sides as the breath escaped him, and shaking his head slightly to himself.
... Not that he was sure he'd ever want to go back to how it was before anyway, even with all the bad that came with, and prompted the change... No
Going back to how things were would be worse. At least this way he wasn't so much in the dark, and neither was she.
At least this way, finally... He knew
Hello!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was pretty long, and jumped around a lot, but hopefully it was an interesting read nonetheless- and I hope the next one is an interesting read too!
We are wrapping up Adgnei in full come the next chapter (finally ;w;)! But it will be... a doozy XD ... ALSO, FRAXUS TIME!
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