Lee lifted Sammy into his arms and turned to find Barney. He was looking down at Angel, who was in and out of consciousness and still hacking up a bunch of water. He wondered how long she'd been out for. They'd all need a trip to the hospital after this blow up. It was a mess. Lee wanted to know if that was their fault for showing up. At least there wasn't a life lost to hold over himself forever.
"How is she?" Luna asked, standing from her spot beside Angel and wiping her bloodied hands on the back of her shirt. Her blonde hair was slick with sweat against her face. She sucked in her cheeks and looked down at Sammy.
"I think she's alright," he said, turning his eyes back to Sammy's face. His lips twitched downwards and he drew in an unsteady breath. He held her a little bit tighter.
"She proved something to you, didn't she?" Luna asked, taking in his face and how it changed as he stared down at her.
"Yeah," he said simply, not looking up. "Yeah, she did."
Luna nodded. She reached out and folded Sammy's hand over her stomach, knotting her fingers into her own for a second just to feel the warmth of the blood flowing under her skin. Proof of life.
"She can handle herself? She can take a punch?" Luna asked, stepping back. Lee chewed on his lower lip for a second. Sammy was breathing steadily against his chest. He knew he couldn't hold her forever. Whether she was a petal, a bullet, or a dove, it didn't matter: it was in her nature to catch the wind and fly. She couldn't do that if he never let her go, but he could fly with her.
"She-" he started, pausing to clear his throat. He looked up and met Luna's eyes. "She proved that she can live."
Luna nodded.
Cap helped Bones to her feet and Gunner lifted Angel in his arms. She was too weak to protest, wheezing with every breath, and still bleeding from where she'd been shot in the leg. It was a nasty wound. They really hoped it wouldn't end up infected from whatever might have been in that river.
Barney took point again. He was bitter that any of this had happened, but he was relieved that Sammy was safe and tucked away in Lee's arms for the time being. They could deal with the fallout with everybody else involved later. The Major would have some explaining to do.
He held his guns in his hands and stomped along the bank back towards the hideout where, not too long ago, all of the Expendables had been knocked out and tied up. Maybe if he hadn't been shot so many times in the jungle he'd actually like the damn place. It was kind of beautiful.
—-
Sammy woke up in a hospital bed two days later. She'd been knocked out for the entire way home outside of a few moments, and sedated when she was checked into the emergency room. The lights were bright and hurt her eyes. She felt the cold rush of the cannula under her nose blowing oxygen into her lungs. She looked up at the ceiling and let her eyes adjust slowly. The memories came back gradually, but it didn't matter. They didn't scare her. Worse things had happened and she had survived. She pressed her lips together. They were dry and sore.
"Well, look who finally decided to join us."
Sammy blinked and rolled her eyes over to her left. Barney sat there smiling at her, a big ugly grin that stretched across his cheeks, dressed up in a five o'clock shadow. She licked her lips and coughed.
"How you feeling?" He asked, leaning forward and studying her. She didn't remember much after jumping off the cliff and into the river.
"Uh-" she tried, squeezing her eyes shut to try and stop her thoughts from escaping her while the sedative wore off. "Um, I'm okay, I think."
"The doc says you're a trooper," Barney said. He helped her adjust her hospital gown as she tried to move. She flinched as she lifted her head. "Yeah, that's gonna hurt for a little while."
She furrowed her brows and reached up her hand, which was connected to an IV drip of fluids. She inspected it for a second, confused. She half expected to flashback to when Riley was in the hospital but the images didn't come. She was grateful for that. She touched her fingers to the back of her head which was bandaged up.
"Concussion," Barney said, motioning to his own head. "And a new haircut. We told them you wouldn't mind. Hope that's true."
Her hair was the last thing she cared about in that moment. The world started to spin and she rested her head back and closed her eyes. She swallowed and her mouth tasted sour.
"You got Angel out," Barney continued. "You've got some real guts, Sammy."
She shrugged. She didn't need to be told what she already knew.
"She's a couple doors down. Bones is in here too. Needed some surgery on that shoulder. Everybody else was alright, mostly."
She opened her eyes to a squint and met his. He nodded and sighed, rubbing his dry hands together with a scratching sound.
"Lee got worked up. They stitched him up, he's fine."
Sammy closed her eyes again. That was good enough for her. Barney shifted and sucked in his cheeks, wondering why the hell he had volunteered to sit at her side when there were a handful of other people ready and willing.
Right. Because Lee was his best friend. Damn that man.
"He wanted to be here," he said. Sammy twitched slightly. "I told him not to. Figured you'd need space to breathe. Take stock."
Sammy didn't know whether to thank him or not. Barney knew his way around Lee, that was for sure, but Sammy didn't know what she wanted. She tried to remember the details of when he showed up; she knew they had fought, and that it had hurt, but she couldn't pick out the exact words.
"Listen, Sammy, I'm not a mindreader," Barney said. He shifted closer to her and took in her form in the bed. She didn't look dangerous where she was. She didn't look like much of anything, really. Just another patient in another hospital. "Do you want me to get him?"
Sammy forced her eyes open and looked at the ceiling. Her fingers fiddled with the thin blankets and she tried to focus on the sound of her monitor orchestrating the rhythm of her life. She could hear her heartbeat pick up as she considered the question, and she knew that Barney could hear it, too. He waited patiently.
"I need water," she said eventually.
Barney sighed and stood up, his knees cracking as he did. He grabbed the cup from the tray they had delivered not too long ago and shoved a straw into it. He held it for her while she sipped, wincing from the movement of her head.
"Once the doc clears you, I can bring you home," he said when she finished. She looked up at him, her eyes struggling to focus. "He'll probably clear you soon. Had no major bleeding inside or out. Just gotta lay low and let your brain get itself in working order."
"Right," she said, her voice a sour croak. She studied him for a minute. He looked tired, worn out. She wondered how much he had seen in his life. She felt like she had aged an extra ten years after just one mission. She knew they all weren't that bad, but she was exhausted. He was watching her just as intently as she was watching him, though she was so lost in organizing the memories of the last week that she hardly noticed. He cleared his throat.
"If it makes any difference, he wants to see you," he said.
Sammy held her breath. She wanted Lee. She wanted him so badly, but she was afraid for so many reasons. What if he didn't like what he saw after everything she had done? What if by following her gut she had sold her soul and froze over her insides? What if he couldn't love her? And how could she let herself love him after everything? She wanted to. It felt right. She knew that people fought and got angry and said things they didn't mean, but could she live with his harsh words every time they disagreed? Would the comfort he provided be worth the pain?
Barney stood and sighed, his head bobbing in a subtle nod. Sammy snapped her hand up and grabbed his wrist, tears beading in her eyes and scalding hot in tandem with her raging headache. He tensed, unused to the sudden contact, and opened his mouth to speak, though he couldn't manage to find any words.
"Okay," she said, her voice just a broken whisper beneath the hospital sounds- the sounds that had haunted her dreams and restless nights at Rico's another lifetime ago.
He nodded.
"Not alone," she added, squeezing his wrist just a little bit harder. "Pl- please."
He nodded again, and she finally released her vice grip. She set her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes, her arms resting over the blanket that was pulled up to her stomach. The pain seemed worse because of how scrambled her brain was. Images of the rushing river came in flashes, washing over with the roar of crashing waves and shrieks.
Had she screamed? When faced with dying, with her own mortality, had she even expressed her fear? She couldn't remember, but she knew that she didn't want to die, and that made her suddenly so afraid to live. With that came a fear of love, and with that, a fear of Lee. He had so much of her, and it all suddenly felt like something she could lose; like something worth losing.
—-
Barney tucked his hands into his pocket and cleared his throat when he made it into the waiting room. Lee hadn't left since he'd been seen by the doctor. He looked pale, exhausted, and had deep purple bags which weighed heavily under his eyes. He jerked his head up in Barney's direction.
Gunner and Tool were there as well. The others had been in for a few hours each day. Gunner didn't stay the night or arrive first thing in the morning, but he was there, and he wanted Sammy to know that he would be there if she needed him. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so anxious about someone being in a hospital, but the second Barney came out, all of his worries drained away. He didn't even want to get high anymore. The relief was enough.
The three of them stood and waited for Barney to speak. He looked over each of them, Tool with his cheeks sunken in and hair a greasy mess around his head, Lee with his lovelorn tired eyes and bandaged arm, and Gunner with his blonde mop unbrushed atop his forehead.
"She's awake," he said. They let out a collective breath, but Lee didn't let his eyes fall from Barney's. Barney made it a point not to look away, not to make it seem like Sammy didn't want him or had hesitated the way he knew she really had.
"Can we see her?" Tool asked.
Barney was grateful that Tool was always one to read a room before he spoke.
"Yeah, come on," Barney said.
"All of us?" Lee asked, and Barney knew it was a test. He flicked his head over his shoulder, a few strands of black hair falling in front of his forehead.
"Yeah, everyone," he said. "I don't know how long she'll stay up for."
It was almost the truth. Sammy looked so tired. She had taken quite the knock to the head at some point, probably in the rapids after she jumped into the river. She hadn't been fully coherent before now. He remembered her rambling about Riley and getting irritated and defensive in the short bursts when she'd wake up. She definitely got pretty rattled. He was surprised that there hadn't been a serious brain bleed- not that he wasn't relieved, because he was, it just seemed that luck was never on her side. Maybe that was finally starting to change.
Lee had held her the entire way home. He had watched her, studied her face, memorizing every detail just in case. He whispered to her about paying her back for all the beers she'd bought because he knew she didn't like them. Maybe he'd get her a nice bottle of wine, something aged just right that would go well with the dinner he'd make her to try and get her to see just how sorry he was. He told her to hold on because she was strong. He told her he loved her, and that no matter what she decided, he would be there for her.
They all followed Barney back to her room. When they looked in, she was laying flat on her back with her head facing the ceiling, eyes closed. The bandage wrapped around her forehead to keep the gauze in place. Nobody knew exactly what happened to Angel and Sammy before they jumped into the river, but they had a pretty good idea. The doctors shaved a patch out of her hair near her neck in order to stitch and clean everything up properly.
She didn't react when they all filed in, but she could feel the pressure of Lee's presence collapse over her the second he walked through the door, and he could feel that she knew he was there. He pressed his lips together and found a spot near the foot of the bed. He didn't want to invade her space too much, or overwhelm her on top of the pain he knew she would be feeling. He'd been concussed before, though never quite that bad.
Tool went to her side and slid his hand into hers. She gently squeezed her fingers around his and he let out a happy gasp. He smiled.
"There she is," he said, careful to keep his voice low. She still flinched at the sound, and he glanced back at Barney, who just nodded and shrugged, his fingers tucked into his jeans.
"Tool," she said, lips cracking open into a smile. Lee felt his heart float when the light caught her teeth and her cheeks stretched into dimples. He wanted to crawl into the bed beside her and hold her against him and take care of her the way she did for him when he'd been shot.
"I thought I told you to be careful," he chided, pulling her knuckles to his lips. He placed a quick kiss to them, moving carefully and methodically around the IV connected to her arm.
"I was," she said, furrowing her brows and forcing one eye slightly open. Her lashes fluttered and Lee thought back to when he had first kissed her. God, he missed her. Every inch of her, wounded or not, mercenary or soldier or artist or anything; as long as she was Sammy, she was perfect. She was his, if she would have him. And he was hers regardless.
"You call that swim you took careful?" Gunner said, forcing a laugh into his deep voice. He nudged Tool aside and ran the tips of his fingers down her forearm.
"Hey, Gun," she said. "It was a good swim."
Lee couldn't help the deflating chuckle that escaped his lips. He wasn't the only one. He locked his fingers around the foot of her bed and watched the pulling of her skin along the frame of her face. It was like art to him, he thought. Whatever she saw in all those sculptures she liked to draw, he saw the same thing in her. Some sort of unfinished beauty. Boundless potential. Crafted through love and skill, maybe broken, but the cracks that littered her body added space for more beautiful things to grow. In her drawings, she always had a raven perched on the shoulder of a broken statue. She had one with her now- more than one, really. An endless supply.
"Feeling good?" Gunner asked, forcing a smile.
"Hurts," she grunted, drawing in a long, sharp breath. She held it for a few seconds before she let it fizzle from her lungs. Gunner awkwardly crossed his arms and nodded.
"We can give you some acetaminophen," the doctor said softly, nudging by Lee and towards the IV. Gunner shifted out of the way and towards Barney. "We don't usually prescribe anything more drastic for post-concussion symptoms. Ibuprofen or aspirin could increase your risk of bleeding, so I'd be careful…"
Lee lost track of what he was saying when Sammy's eyes drifted down and found him at the foot of her bed. They looked at each other, a million miles apart it seemed, but at the same time, so painfully connected. It didn't take long for Lee to fall in love with her, and it took even less time to regret every second he hadn't spent right beside her. He knew he wasn't perfect, but he was worth another chance, wasn't he? Would Sammy afford him a second chance- well, a third chance, if he was being honest. Or maybe it would be a fourth. He couldn't focus on how many times he'd messed up when she was looking at him like that, though.
"So I'd recommend having someone around just to keep an eye on her, but she's been on a steady incline since the injury two days ago. I'll go fill out the discharge papers and you can all be on your way."
"Thanks, appreciate it," Barney said.
The doctor offered them all a kind, close-lipped smile and left the room. Lee was still watching Sammy. He took a step around the bed and towards her, his eyes locked with hers, and he realized that he was afraid.
"We can take shifts checking in," Barney said, but Lee didn't pay him any mind. He was searching Sammy's eyes, looking for any sign of acceptance or denial, love lost or kept.
He went to take her hand and she flinched. He paused, his heartbeat seeming to stop for a moment, and he ran his eyes over her face, frantically hoping for an answer.
There were tears in her eyes. He could tell she was fighting them, but as was so often true with Sammy, fighting her emotions was a losing battle.
Sammy didn't want to close him out, but her body reacted before her mind could. Her thoughts were moving too slow for her body to wait up. She was crying out all of the pain and frustration and she wanted to scream, but even the sound of her own blood flowing through her body was too loud for her.
Lee tried one more time to touch her. He swiped his thumb softly and slowly across her cheek, knocking away a steady stream of tears. She didn't flinch or move away from him. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, and maybe even tilted her head into his hand just slightly. Just as quickly as it happened, it was over, and she pressed her eyes closed and turned her head to the side. Lee let his hand fall back to his hip. It was just enough to give him hope.
"Lee, you need to go shower and take a nap," Barney said, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Lee looked down at Sammy for another minute before he nodded.
"Yeah, alright," he said.
"I got her," Barney said. He was tired of playing the subtle game. Really, he was just tired. He wanted to take a nap himself. Maybe have a cigar. They didn't let people smoke in hospitals anymore.
"Right," Lee said.
"I'll get her home," Barney said, and then he looked to Tool. "You wanna check on her tonight?"
Lee knew better than to question it. He would be right next door, keeping an eye out for her, but she needed space to recover.
"Yeah man," Tool said. "Of course."
"I'll call the guys and we'll come up with something," Barney said.
"Call if you need anything," Gunner said, turning to leave.
"Will do," Barney said.
Lee stole one more look at Sammy before he forced himself to turn away. All he could do was show her that he was there if she needed him, if she wanted him. He'd been hurt enough times to know that privacy would be appreciated. His own wound acted up then, and he scratched at the bandage. What he wouldn't give for Sammy to insist on playing nurse in that moment, like she had all those times in her kitchen. He'd sit on her couch with a bag of peas pressed to his arm for the rest of the night just to be in her presence.
But he couldn't change what already was. He could only try and make things right, wherever that would lead.
—-
Barney carried her bag through the door while she trudged through the short hallway that lead to her kitchen. Lee had been watching from his porch, tucked into the shadow on that stupid ratty chair he kept up there. Sammy didn't say anything to indicate that she noticed him. She hardly seemed to be noticing anything, her mind so focused on getting to bed to be in the dark and quiet.
"Where should I-" He started, but she waved him off and toed her shoes off before she pulled herself down the hall to her bedroom. He sighed and set the bag down on the floor at his feet and crossed his arms. "Alright, good talk."
He'd probably go check in on Lee and then head on home and call it a night. The entirety of that mission was a disaster and he really didn't want to deal with it, but he had a lot of questions to answer and double that to ask. The Major had a few things he'd need to explain to them, too. But all of that was complicated and Barney didn't want to think about it.
He heard Sammy plop herself down on her bed and debated going to her bedroom door to make sure she was alright. Her house was as he remembered it from the few times he had been there; cozy, lived in, decorated in that way he noticed women had. He was one to talk, though, since everything he had was either bedazzled, a skull, or tattooed. He blew out a breath and it knocked some hair out of his face.
He decided to go to her door. He dragged his hand along the wall to make himself known, not wanting to knock and be the cause of another pounding headache. She had been near vomiting the entire drive back from the hospital.
"Sammy, I'm headed out," he whispered.
She grunted in response. She was curled up on her side, her back facing him at the door.
"Tool will be in later, so I'll leave the door open," he said.
She grunted again. He sighed and gave the wall a tap before he backed away. It was good enough for now. It would have to be.
He stepped out onto her porch and drank in the humidity. The sun was sheathed within the clouds, so it wasn't really hot, but the sweat still dripped from his forehead and he patted it away with the bottom of his shirt. He turned towards Lee's house and saw him watching. He sighed again.
"Barn," Lee said when he approached. He held up his beer in greeting and threw back the rest of it before he let it dangle between his fingers.
"Lee," Barney said, leaning an elbow on the bannister and crossing his ankles.
Lee sucked in his cheek before he let it go with a pop. He looked down towards his feet and sniffed. The air smelled fresh. As fresh as the heavy city air could be.
"She doing alright?" Lee asked.
"As well as could be expected," Barney said.
"Is that good?"
"It's good enough."
They shared a few moments of companionable silence. Lee let the bottle swing in his fingers and Barney turned his head to examine the stormy clouds blowing by overhead.
"Want a beer?" Lee asked.
"No, I want to go home and sleep," Barney said.
"Good, because this was my last one," Lee said.
Barney scoffed and shook his head. He pulled his keys out from his pocket and clasped them in his fist. He knew there was another question hanging in the air, so he made a show of it, hoping that Lee would get the point and hurry up.
He did.
"Do you think it's over with us?" He asked.
Barney blinked a few times and thought back to Sammy curled up in her bed, probably fast asleep. Pain had a nasty habit of making people tired, and she had enough for a lifetime. She was beyond exhausted.
"Do you think it is?" Barney asked.
Lee rolled his eyes. "I asked you. I know what I think."
"Which is?"
"That I don't want it to be."
Barney nodded. He looked down at his keys and fiddled with them, taking his car key between his thumb and pointer finger.
"What's that mean, Barn?"
"Well, I think it means that you don't stop trying," Barney said, finally looking up and meeting Lee's eyes. "I think it means that she needs some time. But I think she'll come around."
"You do?"
"I do," Barney said.
"You're not just saying that because you feel bad for me?" Lee asked.
"Of course not," Barney scoffed. "I don't like to sugarcoat things."
"Right," Lee said, rolling his eyes again. "She'll come around?"
"Eventually," Barney said. "She's just gotta think it through. Sleep it off."
Lee nodded, and with that, Barney turned to go. Lee stood and set the empty bottle down on the bannister.
"Barney," he called.
"Yeah?" Barney asked, pausing and turning around, jutting out a hip as he stood.
Lee hesitated. He wasn't sure how to put to words what he wanted to say. It wasn't a question so much as it was a statement.
Barney raised a brow and sighed.
"I get it, Christmas," he said. "We all make mistakes. Doesn't mean we don't get to make them right. Now go get some goddamn sleep."
He turned and headed to his car. Lee didn't say anything else, just watched him climb in and drive off. He glanced over to Sammy's house, still and quiet like it always was. It meant more to him now than it ever had in the whole time he had lived next door to it. He knew what he had to do, and it went against what every fiber of his being was telling him to.
He'd have to wait.
He left the empty bottle on the bannister and went inside. He didn't lock the door. He left the lights on.
—-
One Week Later
Lee pulled up on his bike behind the rest of the guys. He hadn't known where they were going, and he was confused when they ended up in front of his house. Barney tugged off his helmet and hung it on the side of his bike, lighting up a cigar and shoving it in his mouth. Tool nudged him and laughed, though Lee couldn't hear what he said as he turned his bike off. Toll and Caesar were ahead of him, tugging off their riding jackets while Gunner brushed his fingers through his hair. Yang was making a face at him.
"Alright, alright," Caesar said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "It has been a long ass week."
"Here's to that," Toll grunted.
"Anybody know how Angel is?" Gunner asked.
"She's doing better," Barney said. "Bones, too."
"And the rest of them?" Toll asked.
Barney shrugged. "Captain is with them. I think Maggie and Luna went their separate ways for now."
"It's a shame," Tool said. "They sounded like they could really come in handy."
Barney chuckled and shook his head. "You want a team of female mercenaries? That sounds like a plot to some kind of action flick to me."
"Hey, they seemed to be doing fine before you lot showed up," Tool said.
They all chuckled.
A door bounced shut and Lee turned his head up to find Sammy out on her porch. She waved at them, a kind, soft smile spread across her face. He felt his heart beat hard in his chest. She had her new short hair tied half up in a stubby ponytail at the back of her head. She'd turned the area around her stitches into an undercut, fuzzy and short. He liked it. It suited her.
"You're late," she called as Barney and Tool headed towards her. Lee furrowed his brows and watched them all head off in her direction.
"Fashionably, as always, sweetheart," Tool said, climbing the steps and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "How's that headache?"
"Better everyday," she said.
"You're a trooper," he said. She smiled and waved him in. Barney gave her shoulder a pat and followed after. She said hello to each of them as they went by, lingering slightly on Gunner. She smiled and pressed her hands to his cheeks and he closed his eyes. Lee frowned, but shoved his jealous thoughts aside and swallowed down his nerves.
Sammy turned and watched as they all made their way in, and then she turned back towards Lee. He swallowed and cleared his throat. It was nearing sunset, and the horizon was glowing a deep burning orange. The clouds reflected the light, flitting through the air above them and moving with the wind. He tucked his hands into his pockets and lifted his shoulders to his ears. He didn't want to invite himself in, but he missed her. He missed her with everything he had, and it had taken all of his strength to give her the space Barney said she needed. But there she was, looking over at him from her porch like she had all those months ago, and then she smiled and he thought that the world could've ended right then and he wouldn't have even noticed.
Sammy reached down and pulled out a beer. She held it out towards him, urging her hands to stop shaking, and pressed the corners of her lips firmly up into her cheeks.
Lee couldn't help it. He had to laugh. He looked over at her, waiting patiently for him, beer gripped in her outstretched hand, welcoming him home. He could hear the Expendables laughing behind her from within the house, and he felt just fine.
She raised her eyebrows and jutted the bottle outwards again, waiting.
Lee smiled one of those big, toothy grins that made his eyes catch the light. He didn't know if everything was okay, or what things would look like going forward, but returning home felt like enough for now.
He stepped towards her, like he always did. And she was waiting.