A/N: Anyone else in love with badass Rollins? I know I am.

Thank you so much for the love after the last chapter. I didn't expect to feel so emotionally drained after writing it.

So… What happens now?

"Fuck." Olivia groaned and writhed against the hard and rocky ground.

"Liv? Ow, shit." Amanda rolled over on her side and lifted herself up to look at the brunette. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

Yes. All over. Inside and out.

"I... I don't know."

"Medic!"

So much was happening around her and it was impossible to focus on just one thing. One second she saw Amanda's face, and then someone was moving her, and then she heard a cracking sound and the sound of something hitting the ground.

The bodies.

Wheatley and?

"Amanda?"

"I'll be right back." The blonde said breathlessly.

"What? No!"

"Elliot is still inside, Liv."

Elliot. He was the second body on the floor.

"No!"

The warehouse was burning, and Amanda was running towards it.

"Amanda!"

Strong hands were holding her down, but she somehow managed to shake them off and get up in a sitting position on the stretcher.

When did they put me on a stretcher?

"Amanda!"

She wanted to run back inside and get her, but her body suddenly felt so heavy, and she felt herself slump into whoever was standing next to her.

"Captain Benson, can you hear me?"

She simply nodded because she was too tired and too scared to talk.

Olivia kept staring at the door.

Nothing.

All of this just to watch Amanda kill herself? All of this just to lose both of them?

No. Absolutely not.

She forced her exhausted body to move and twisted herself out of the strong grip around her shoulders.

"Captain, you should-"

"Don't."

She slid down from the stretcher, winced a little as her bare feet hit the ground, and took a few trembling steps towards the building that was slowly being eaten by flames.

"Amanda." This time it came out as just a whisper. "Come back."

5 seconds. 10 seconds.

And then.

There.

Stumbling out of the burning warehouse came the two people that more than anyone else had defined, challenged, changed and loved her.

And they were alive.

She heard herself let out a loud gasp, followed by one, single sob.

Amanda coughed over and over again and pointed at Elliot as he fell to the ground. "Me-dic."

Olivia felt frozen to the ground as she stared at his lifeless body for a moment. And as she watched three EMT uniforms gather around Elliot she finally, finally, found herself wrapped in Amanda's arms.

"You're here." She said. "You came."

Amanda just kept on coughing and nodding.

"I'm here."

"I was so sure... I was going to..."

Amanda tightened her arms around her. Don't say it, Liv.

And so, she didn't.

They watched with worried eyes as Elliot was rushed into the ambulance. "What happened?"

"We made a judgment call, ran inside-" Amanda was interrupted by another coughing fit and gratefully grabbed a bottle of water that an officer handed to her. She downed half of it before she continued.

"And suddenly Wheatley was just there. Elliot told me to find you and there must've been a fight or something. I don't know."

Olivia stared at the blonde. Still not convinced this was real. Did I die in there? Was I still in there, just dreaming?

"Let's get you to the hospital. You probably inhaled a lot of smoke."

"Me? What about you?"

"I'm-"

"Olivia Margaret Benson, if you say you're fine I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making sure you regret it."

The brunette opened her mouth to speak but instead, she cried silently.

"That's what I thought." Amanda said before pulling her in a second time.

The ride to the hospital was quiet, but Amanda didn't look away for a second. Even when the EMT fumbled to get the oxygen mask on her, she kept her eyes on Olivia, now back on the stretcher and hooked up to an IV.

It felt like they were having an entire conversation without a single word.

I love you.

I was so scared.

I was so sure I was dying.

I was so worried.

I'm so glad you're here. Alive.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Their silent conversation ended the second they entered the hospital.

After being alone with Wheatley and her own thoughts, Olivia found herself overwhelmed by all the faces that suddenly surrounded her.

"Give her some room, people." Amanda scolded, sounding as protective as ever, and in that moment Olivia loved her for it.

"Let's get you checked out." A nurse said to the blonde as Olivia was moved into one of the examination rooms.

"I'm not leaving her."

"Ma'am, you can see her in a little bit."

'A little bit' turned out to be two long and excruciating hours of more oxygen, probing and poking, making sure that Amanda's level of smoke inhalation wasn't life threatening, and that her cuts and bruises were only superficial.

"Can I see her now?" The blonde detective said while swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

She ignored the nurse telling her she needed to rest.

She was about to ask for directions when she heard that familiar voice down the hall.

"I just told you, I don't need one!"

Amanda ran towards the room, ignoring the uncomfortable ache in her chest.

"Liv? Liv, I'm here. What's going on?"

Before the brunette could answer, a nurse stepped between them with a stern look on his face. "Ma'am, you shouldn't be in here."

Amanda glared at the man in front of her. "I'm not leaving." She said, pushing him aside. "Liv, what's going on?"

"They want me to do a rape kit."

"If she says she doesn't need one, she doesn't need one. Believe me. Get out."

When they were finally alone, Amanda walked with hurried steps over to Olivia's bed. "How... how are you?" The question sounded so ridiculous.

A hospital gown had replaced the torn dress and it made her look so fragile. Such a contrast to the strong and put together Olivia she knew.

"Some burns on my hands after the gunshot and a few cuts and scrapes after we hit the ground, but other than that I'm-"

"So your only physical injuries were caused by me?"

"You saved my life, Amanda." Olivia said as she grabbed her hands, wincing just a little from the sting under her bandages.

"You almost died." Amanda said with a low voice. Those brown eyes that she loved so much were glossy with tears, and the brunette had this look on her face she couldn't quite read. Disbelief? Shock?

"But you're alive."

"I'm alive."

Amanda did the only thing that felt natural then. She climbed into the bed and pulled Olivia into her arms. "You're alive."

"For future reference, can you maybe not wait until there's six minutes left on the timer?"

Jokes. She's making jokes.

She didn't know if she was supposed to feel relief or worry.

"I'll do my best, captain."

For a while, they stayed just like that. Amanda listened to Olivia's breaths leaving her in an even and comforting rhythm. She wanted to say so many things, but settled for just holding her, at least for a little while.

"Liv, I hate to ask, but..."

"I don't need the rape kit." Olivia said quickly, already knowing what Amanda was thinking. "He barely touched me."

"Barely?"

"Turns out... he was my brother."

"What?"

"Another product of Joseph Hollister. The gift that keeps on giving."

"Jesus."

"I'll tell you everything, Amanda. I promise. I'm just... so exhausted."

"We'll talk when you're ready."

"How's Elliot?"

"I think they're still working on him."

"You saved him."

Amanda didn't respond because she wasn't entirely sure what to say. She still didn't quite understand what had driven her to run back inside of that burning warehouse. Maybe, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that she couldn't live with herself knowing she could've saved the man that at one point had loved Olivia like she did.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered.

And then she drifted off to sleep.

She was sitting in her office. Except, it looked different, kinda like it had all those years ago when she just started working as an SVU detective.

In front of her were case files. Scattered all over her desk, and the floor. Semi familiar faces that made up decades of pain, violence, recovery.

She wondered for a second who had made this mess in her office, but when she moved to start to clean it all up she was hit by a sudden and awful sense of dread. So tired. Too tired to move.

She slumped back in her chair and with a resigned look on her face she just kept staring at the mess.

Suddenly a tall, skinny man was standing in the middle of it all.

John Munch.

Without a word, he threw his hands out and looked around the office before his eyes landed on her.

"What are you gonna do about this, Olivia?"

"I don't know. But I have to do something."

"Why can't anyone else do it?"

"It has to be me."

"Why?"

"Because it's what I do. It's who I am."

He laughed before he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" She asked, sounding almost childlike.

Munch opened the door and looked at her for a second.

"Turns out, there's more to life than SVU."

When Olivia woke up, she was still wrapped in Amanda's arms. The blonde was sleeping next to her, and for a moment she let herself savor the feeling of being this close again. A feeling she had convinced herself she would never get to experience ever again.

And then she remembered the dream. Munch and all those case files.

There's more to life than SVU.

Maybe.

She was pulled from her thoughts when the blonde wiggled a little next to her. "You awake?" Amanda said with a hoarse voice.

"Mhm."

Just when Olivia was about to tell her about the dream, there was a careful knock at the door.

"Fin..." She smiled.

"Liv, you scared the living shit out of me."

"Bad habit. I'm working on it."

Amanda suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. Their relationship hadn't been a secret for months, but they never touched or kissed each other in front of their colleagues. She figured it was making Olivia uncomfortable too and started to move, but was quickly stopped by the woman next to her. "Don't."

"Ok." Amanda whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Fin, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, captain."

"Get me something to wear? I'm ready to go home."

"Already? Sure that's a good idea?" Amanda said, leaning back a little to look at her with worried eyes.

"I need to see my kids."

Not Noah. My kids. Their kids.

Fin gave a simple nod and turned to leave. Just as he was about to open the door, Olivia sat up in the bed. "Fin?"

"Yeah?"

"Wheatley?"

"Dead."

"Good."

And it was.

He might've been her biological brother. But he wasn't family.

She had survived this. She wasn't sure if she could've survived another trial with her name on it.

After making sure that Elliot would make a full recovery, and arguing with her doctor about going home too soon, Olivia was finally walking towards the hospital exit.

"I don't want the kids to see me like this."

"They're at my place with Sienna. Shower and change at your apartment first?"

Olivia nodded tiredly.

She had been running on shock and adrenaline since Amanda grabbed her hand inside of that warehouse. So preoccupied with her, and Elliot and the chaos around them.

As soon as Amanda closed the door behind them and she was finally home, her physical defense started to crumble.

Without a word, Amanda grabbed her hand and guided her towards the bathroom.

With tired eyes, she let the blonde undress her, slowly and gently. The grey hoodie and the sweatpants fell to the floor without a sound.

Her eyes locked on her toothbrush and Amanda got the hint, grabbing it and putting toothpaste on it before handing it to Olivia.

It was a weird juxtaposition to the last time they had been in this bathroom together.

They way they hadn't been able to touch or look at each other, and now they followed each other's every move. Amanda's hand only leaving Olivia's body when she started to undress herself.

Once inside the shower, the brunette had her back turned to Amanda and for a while she just rested her head against the tiles. "Everything hurts." She finally said.

Not "I'm fine." Not this time.

And when she said everything, she literally meant everything. Her entire body, but more importantly, her entire being.

"I know, honey. I know."

Amanda whispered against her shoulder.

After a long and silent moment, with just the sound of running water filling the now steamy bathroom, Olivia turned around and looked into those crystal blue eyes she had been convinced she would never see again.

"Make it stop."

Amanda wasn't entirely sure what she was asking, and whatever it was, she wasn't sure if she could or even should give it to her.

"Liv... I'm-"

"I'm sorry." Olivia suddenly cried. "I'm so, so sorry. For all of it. Everything I said. The way I shut you out. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's ok." Amanda said softly while carefully pulling Olivia's hair back.

"No, Amanda, it's not. Nothing about that was ok."

The blonde wanted to fight her on it, tell her to let it all go. But she couldn't.

Olivia was right. It hadn't been ok, any of it. If they were gonna do this, actually build a life together, they both needed to break a lifetime pattern of lies, cover-ups and abuse.

"Thank you for saying that."

The brunette nodded and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

When she opened them again she looked just like she had all those months ago, that night on her couch.

Kiss me.

And so Amanda did.

It didn't feel like they had been apart for less than 24 hours. It felt like they had been lost to each other for years. Stumbling around in the dark, trying so hard to understand each other's pain. Something settled between them in that moment, something new and different. Better.

The kiss eventually ended, and they finished their shower in silence.

"You sure you wanna go right away? You look exhausted, Liv." Amanda said as she let her hand run through Olivia's damp hair.

"I need to see them."

Her voice cracked a little and it broke Amanda's heart, seeing her like this, so tired and still so determined. And it wasn't lost on her that Olivia hadn't said "Noah", but "them".

"You know what. We'll stay here, I'll call Sienna and tell her to bring the kids."

"But it's so late."

"I think we can make an exception for bedtime, Liv."

Too tired to fight her on it, the brunette simply nodded.

"Ok, so here's what's gonna happen. You get settled in bed, I'll call Sienna and then I'm making you something to eat."

"So bossy." Olivia croaked.

"I learned from the best."

She had just placed the half empty bowl of soup on the bedside table when the door opened and three kids, all in their pajamas, suddenly jumped up on the bed with her.

"Careful." Amanda said, following behind them.

"Hi babies." Olivia said with a gentle voice as she pulled Noah in for a tight hug.

"Are you ok?" He asked and Olivia was surprised at how grown up he sounded.

"I am now."

"Did you have an accident like mama?" Jesse said while running her fingers over the bandage on the brunette's hand.

"Not exactly like mama. Remember how long she slept?"

Jesse turned to Amanda then, with an accusatory look on her face. "You slept for a really long time, mama."

The blonde laughed with tears in her eyes. "True."

After a while of cuddling and a string of curious questions from the five year old, Olivia turned to the blonde detective.

"Can I have a minute with Noah?"

"You heard the captain, girls. Time for bed."

"But I wanna sleep in here." Jesse said. "Me too!" Billie screeched, teaming up with her big sister.

"Tell you what, we'll do a big sleepover in the living room tomorrow. All of us, ok?"

A few hugs and kisses later, she was left alone with her son.

"It wasn't an accident was it?" He said with a serious look on his face.

"Not exactly. It's a little complicated. But I'm ok now, Noah."

"Did someone hurt you?"

Yes? No? When did he grow up without me noticing it?

"Someone scared me, a lot. A very sick man scared me."

"Was he sick like grandma Sheila?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"And then Amanda saved you?"

"Mhm, she did."

"I love her."

"Oh, me too, sweet boy." Olivia said while pulling Noah in for a second hug. "Me too."

A/N: Decided to give everyone a break from the cliffhangers, but don't go anywhere. A lot of… fire (ahem) in the next chapter.