One Week Later
Blaire knocked on Jess's door hoping that her sister was awake. She heard Cailin call out from the other side. "Come in!" Blaire made her way in and greeted her aunt. "How are you feeling C?"
"I'm feeling a lot better. We are about to resume chemo though so it won't last long," Cailin said with a groan. They had temporarily halted chemo to allow Cailin's immune system to get a little stronger.
"Well, at least you know Maddy is a match now and you can see a finish line though, right?"
Cailin smiled. "Yeah, you're right. I am just ready to be done with it all. I want to get back to school. Speaking of school, when are you going back?"
"I think i'm going to go back in the spring. I didn't have to take off for the semester but with everything that has went on with you and Jess, I just wanted to take a break. Juggling the Boys and Girls Club, the fire department, school, and everything else that was going on was just too much."
Cailin nodded. "Well, Jess and I both definitely appreciate everything you have done and your moms and my mom. Even Callie has pitched in a lot. We wouldn't have gotten through this stuff without all of you."
"Hey, that's what family is for right?" Blaire smiles at Cailin as she takes a glance around the room. "Where is Jess? I wanted to talk to her."
"She's in the shower. She should be out soon."
Just as Cailin said that Jess came walking out from the bathroom sporting a towel on her head.
"Sup B?"
Blaire took one look at her sister and burst out laughing. "That's totally your look Jess. You should keep it."
"Zip it butt head." Jess took the towel off her head and threw it at her sister.
"Do you think we could go for a walk?" Blaire looked over at Cailin.
Cailin nodded. "You guys go ahead. I'll just catch up on some reading. Go have some sister time."
Jess nodded. "I can't leave the house but we can take a lap or two around the yard," she says with a laugh. "I think at this point the twins have more freedom than I do. Hopefully I'll get sprung soon for good behavior," Jess says with a grin. "Let me get dressed and we'll go."
Blaire nodded. "OK."
Twenty minutes later Jess and Blaire were making laps around the huge house.
"What's up?" Jess knew there was something on her sister's mind.
"I think I screwed up." Blaire looked up at Jess with uncertainty in her eyes.
"What do you mean you screwed up Blaire?" Jess's stomach flipped with those words. Blaire could have meant any number of things.
Blaire slowed her pace before heading over to the big white oak tree in the far corner of the backyard. This spot had become her and Jess's favorite spot to sit and talk.
Blaire sat down, her back against the tree and Jess took her place next to her sister. The redhead bumped her shoulder against her sister's.
"What's going on Blaire? Whatever it is you can tell me." Blaire began to pick at the grass as she spoke.
"I told moms I want to tell Amelia the truth. On a kids level of course, but I want her to know I'm her mom too. I can't keep pretending to be her sister Jess." When Jess didn't immediately respond Blaire spoke again. "Am I wrong? Does that make me selfish?"
"What? Blaire, no. Wanting your daughter to know who you are is not selfish. Honestly I think that's really brave of you for wanting to take that step." Jess grabbed her sister's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Do you think Amelia will be upset? I don't want to completely confuse her."
Again Jess shook her head before chuckling. "I think Amelia is going to be a little confused but I also think she will be over the moon that she has not one but three moms. I mean what seven year old wouldn't love that." Jess tried her best to get Blaire to crack a small but failed.
"It's not telling Amelia the truth that's really bothering you is it?" Blaire shook her head no as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Okay, so what is really bothering you?" Jess asked as she watched her sister intently.
"I asked moms a week ago about this. They agreed to talk it over and let me know what they decided but they haven't brought it up since." Blaire looked down at the ground. "Maybe I should have never mentioned it, maybe it was best for everyone if I had just left it be."
Jess moved over a little closer before hugging her sister. "Mom's will come around B. Just give them a little more time. I'm sure with everything that has happened it just slipped their mind." Jess paused. "Blaire do you remember when you signed over your rights to moms?"
Blaire nodded. "Do you remember telling them that you would only sign the papers if they promised to let you tell Amelia the truth when she was old enough?" Again Blaire nodded.
"Do you remember what moms told you?" This time Jess didn't give Blaire a chance to answer as she continued. "Moms promised you that day that you would be able to tell Amelia the truth. If there's one thing moms have always done, it's sticking to their word and holding up to the promises they make. Right?" Jess says as she bumps Blaire again.
Blaire lifted her head and smiled. "You're right Jess, thank you for talking with me. Looks like you aren't a bad sister after all."
"Hey!" Jess says as she grabs a handful of grass and throws it at Blaire causing the blonde to break into laughter.
"I'm kidding," Blaire says, still laughing before turning serious. "You are the best sister and friend I could ask for."
Jess grinned. "Alright, alright enough of the soft, mushy stuff. Seems like ma is turning all of us into big softies. Let's go bug Cailin while she's feeling better. What do you say?" Jess jumped to her feet and dusted off her butt before sticking out her hand to pull Blaire to her feet.
Blaire grinned. "I say let's do it, but the last one to the house has to do dinner dishes." With that Blaire took off.
"Hey that's not fair! You cheated!" Jess yelled as she chased after her sister who was laughing so hard she tripped over her own feet, effectively causing her to lose.
Jess flew past her laughing herself. "Haha, see what you get when you cheat. I win, so it looks like dinner dishes are on you. I'll be sure to let moms know," Jess remarks, while laughing at the look on her sister's face.
As they both barrel through the side door, into the kitchen laughing Jane and Cailin both look at them with amused smiles. "Let me guess. Blaire cheated and you are stuck doing the dinner dishes?"
Jane says as she looks at Jess who begins to laugh even more. "Actually, I won and Blaire did cheat but because my sister can not help being so ungraceful I'll help her clean up after dinner."
Jane and Cailin both laughed at the pouting expression on Blaire's face. "Blaire, mom and I would like to talk to you if you have a minute. "
The blonde's eyes widened. "Am I in some kind of trouble?"
"No, no of course not B. Mom and I just want to talk to you about a few things. It's nothing bad, I wouldn't let you walk into the lion's den without telling you why," Jane remarks as she nudges Blaire's shoulder.
Blaire smiles. "Well we better go then, you know mom doesn't like to be kept waiting."
Jane snorted laughter. "You are right about that." As Jane and Blaire walked towards Mauras office, Jane called over her shoulder. "You two behave, no funny business in the kitchen." Jane wholeheartedly laughed when Jess groaned.
"Really ma!" Jess said sitting down next to Cailin. Jane didn't say anything as she continued to laugh and exit the kitchen.
Jane guided her daughter towards Maura's office. She followed Blaire in before shutting the door behind her. "Have a seat Blaire," she said as she pointed to one of the chair's in front of Maura's desk. When she saw the look on the young blonde's face she couldn't help but laugh.
"I told you Blaire, this isn't anything bad. You can relax." Finally believing her ma was telling the truth, Blaire visibly relaxed.
"We actually asked you to come sit with us because we would like to talk to you about Amelia." With those words Blaire once again showed a wave of tension all over her body.
"Hey, it's OK Blaire. This is something I think you will want to hear."
Maura reached out and squeezed her daughter's hand and decided to just go straight to the point to save Blaire any further uncomfortableness.
"Your ma and I have decided that we are OK with telling Amelia that you are her birth mother. Now, we obviously think it is best that she does not know the circumstances surrounding what brought her to us until she is quite a bit older. We do think it's time that she knows the truth though, as much as we can tell her at this time. Are you still wanting to do that?"
Blaire had no words. She was too busy fighting the tears that began to fall. After a few minutes, she finally composed herself.
"I thought maybe I had upset you both. I didn't mean to step on your toes or anything. It's just…"
Before Blaire could continue Maura held up her hand. "It's OK Blaire. You did not step on our toes. We promised you that we would tell her one day. We didn't expect for it to be this early but we understand why you feel it is important. We happen to think you are right. We just needed to take some time to discuss it to make sure this is what is right for all of us. We know it has to be hard for you watching Amelia grow up and not acknowledging the fact that she is not your sister, but your daughter. The main reason we wanted you to just be her big sister is because we wanted you to have a chance Blaire. We wanted you to have the childhood that up to that point had been robbed from you. We think that we have done that. You're an adult now and you were right. It's time to sit her down and talk to her."
The trio sat in silence for a few moments before Blaire spoke, overwhelmed with tears again.
"Thank you moms."
Jane smiled. "You're welcome kiddo. So let's do this huh?"
"Yes, please." Blaire, though excited, could feel the butterflies settling deep down in her stomach. She wasn't sure how Amelia would react. She also hoped that they could explain it in such a way that would not cause a ton of confusion for the little girl.
Reading Blaire's thoughts Jane reached out and squeezed her hand. "It will all be OK Blaire. You'll see."
Jane walked over to the office door and stuck her head out. "Emily, would you mind sending Amelia in please?"
"Sure thing Jane," the nanny called from the next room.
When the little blonde girl came in her eyes were as wide as saucers. "Am I in trouble?"
Jane couldn't help but laugh as she looked over at Blaire and grinned.
"Like mother , like daughter," she mouthed which made Blaire smile.
"No Amelia. You are not in any trouble. Mom, myself, and Blaire would just like to talk to you for a few minutes."
Jane went over to the couch in the room and pulled Amelia up into her lap. She took a deep breath as she prepared to do this as she and Maura had rehearsed.
"I want to tell you something really important Amelia. Do you know how you and mommy have talked about babies grow in a mommy's tummy?"
The little girl nodded.
"Well, sometimes a baby grows in a mommy's tummy and when the baby is born the mommy isn't able to take care of the baby for many different reasons. When that happens, sometimes they ask someone to take care of their baby that is more capable. Do you understand?"
Once again Amelia nodded.
"Well Amelia, you're getting older so we want you to understand something really special. Do you know what that is?"
"No."
"You have three mommies."
The little blonde's eyes widened. "I have three mommies?"
Jane nodded. "A long time ago Blaire carried you inside her tummy." Jane pointed to Blaire's stomach as if making her point. "Blaire was still really young though and she needed someone to help her make sure her baby was well taken care of. So Blaire came to us one day and asked us to be your mommies." Jane decided to use the analogy that she had heard Hope use many times when discussing Amelia's adoption with Blaire.
"Blaire carried you in her tummy and then mommy and I carried you in our hearts," Jane said as she pointed to her heart.
"Blaire is not my mommy silly. She is my sister." The little girl burst out laughing at her ma's antics. Blaire felt her heart jump. This was her biggest fear. That she was pushing this all too early and that Amelia wouldn't understand.
"No sweetie. She's your mommy. Mom and I are also your moms though. That's why I said you are extra lucky. How many little girls can say they have three moms?"
Amelia thinks that over before she speaks again.
"So I grew in Blaire's tummy?"
Jane nodded.
She stood, picking up the little girl as she did, before walking across the room and placing her in Blaire's lap.
"Look, see, you have the same nose," Jane says as she takes her finger from Blaire's nose to Amelia's before tickling her. "You look like her."
Amelia looks up at Blaire intently as she takes in everything she has been told.
"Do I call Blaire mommy now also?"
Once again Blaire felt her stomach lurch. In fact, at that moment she wanted to melt into the floor and just disappear. She could only imagine how awkward it was for Jane and Maura to have Amelia ask that. It was awkward for her as well.
She shot a look of desperation from Jane to Maura and back again. She knew that was going to be their decision to make so she just waited for them to address the elephant in the room.
Maura decided to take this one. "Well sweetie," she said as she stretched her arms for the little girl who gladly accepted. "Would you like to call Blaire something other than her name?"
Amelia nervously played with the ends of her hair as if afraid she would say the wrong thing. Blaire noticed and spoke up.
"Amelia, you don't have to be afraid. Me and moms are okay with whatever you choose to call me." Still seeing slight hesitation she continued trying to out her daughter at ease. "You don't have to decide right now squirt. Whenever you are ready we will all be ready to listen. Okay?"
"Okay," Amelia replied with a huge smile. "Can I go play with Maddy and Abby now?"
Jane and Maura both chuckled. "Sure sweetie," Maura says with a smile of her own. Amelia wiggled out of the blonde's arms, excitement in her movements as she made a mad dash for the door.
"Walk please," Maura called after the seven year old who quickly slowed her strides until the door shut behind her. All three women laughed as they heard Amelia call out for the twins.
"Well," Jane said sitting back in her chair. "How do you feel B?" Blaire looked up wide eyed as two sets of eyes fell on her.
"I,I, well it went better than I expected. I guess I'm a little nervous and will continue to be as we go forward. It's like a weight has been lifted but another added as I realize that Amelia will look to me like she looks to you two.She will need me to be there like you are and I guess that scares me a little. What if I'm no good at being a mom and I screw up some how. I can't compete with you and mom," Blaire says as her tears begin to fall.
Jane moves over to the couch pulling Maura with one hand and Blaire with the other. As they sat down both women wrapped their arms around the young blonde and held her tightly as Jane spoke.
"It's not a competition B. Yes, Amelia will come to you like she does us but we are all in this together. We will continue to do as we have been with a little extra mom help from you," Jane says with a grin as she pulls away to look at her daughter.
Maura took the chance to speak up. "You don't have to be scared Blaire, ma and I will be here for you like we have always been."
"Promise?" Blaire says as her voice cracks.
Jane and Maura hug her again. "We promise," they said in unison.
After a few minutes Jane pulls away as her cell vibrates. Looking down at the screen she had to laugh. "Looks like Em might need a little help in the kitchen," she says as she turns her phone for Maura and Blaire to see. It was a picture of all three littles latched on her legs, essentially keeping her from doing anything.
Blaire laughed. "I'll go give her a hand," she says as she stands up.
"Get Callie to help as well, if she gives you any lip you tell her I said for her to get her butt out of her room and help. Mom and I will be in shortly. We need to talk to Jess first," Jane says as she texts their other daughter.
"Yes ma'am," Blaire says as she opens the door. As she rounded the corner towards the kitchen she almost ran right into Jess.
"So before I go into mom's office, how bad is it? Am I getting in trouble?" Blaire couldn't help but laugh.
"Does everyone think they are in some kind of trouble when they get called to mom's office?"
"Jess scoffed. "Uh yeah! It's like getting called to the principal's office."
"Well I'm about ninety five percent sure you aren't in trouble," Blaire said as she laughed when Jess' mouth fell open.
"What about the other five percent? That's a big percentage when it comes to ma."
Blaire shook her head. "Just go see what they want Jess. If you were in some kind of trouble I'm sure ma would be yelling your full name right about now."
Jess chuckled as she headed to her mother's office. She knocked on the door before sticking her head inside. "You wanted to see me?" She says nervously.
"Yeah Jess, come sit down. Mom and I have a few things we wanted to get out of the way before we all sit down as a family for dinner," Jane says pointing to the chair in front of her.
Jess swallowed hard before walking farther into the room. Once everyone was sitting Maura spoke.
"Your ma and I have talked this over and we have reached an agreement. Although you have shown significant improvement over the last week, we still believe you should go to rehab."
At these words tears filled Jess's eyes. "Moms, please don't send me there. I promise to do whatever else I have to.I'll go to weekly meetings, whatever it takes, just please don't send me away."
Both Jane and Maura's heart broke with the pleading from their daughter. Before either could speak Jess continued. "I don't want to be in some place where I can't know what's going on with Cailin. Her transplant is approaching quickly mom, I don't want to leave her. Please."
"Jess," Jane says softly. "At least listen to your mom, hear what she has to say first. Okay?" Jane reaches out and places her hand over her daughter's. "It's going to be okay."
Jess shakes her head, trying desperately to wipe away her tears. "Jess, we understand that you don't want to leave Cailin but this is something you need to do, if not for yourself than for Cailin because she needs you to be her strength Jess. Just like you need her to be yours."
Jess kept her eyes trained on the floor, never once looking up when she spoke. "How long?"
"You will do two weeks at minimum of inpatient rehab. After that, you will be here at home with us where you will continue with outpatient. You will have weekly home drug testing. Me or grandma Hope will administer them. You will go to weekly meetings and meet with your sponsor at least twice a week. We as a family will also start with family therapy. We know this hasn't been an easy road for you Jess or any of us for that matter but this is for the best."
Maura paused, giving Jess plenty of time to think over everything she mentioned. As the minutes ticked by without a word Jane spoke.
"What's going on in that head of yours Jess? I can hear the wheels turning from here. If there's something you want to say, now's the chance kid." Jess looked up from the spot on the floor she was so focused on for most of the conversation.
She looked from Maura to Jane and back again. When she realized they weren't backing down or giving her an out she spoke up. "Okay moms. Even though I don't want to leave Cailin, I'll go but on one condition." She again looked from one parent to the other.
"Okay," Jane and Maura said in unison. "We're listening," Maura said with uncertainty in her voice.
"I'll go and I'll do everything you've said. I'll do it for myself, Cailin and my family but I want to marry her before I go. I know it sounds crazy but I love her more than anything in this world. She makes me want to do and be better. Not just for her but for all of you, for myself. I know if there's two people who know exactly how I feel about Cailin it's you two. You two have shown all of us what real, true, devoted love looks like, and that's what Cailin and I have."
Jess took a moment to gather herself before continuing. "Don't think that this is a rushed decision on my part, it's not. I've been wanting to do this for far too long. I just let my insecurities and fear get in the way. I see what I have now and I see what I stand to lose. I don't just mean Cailin, I mean my family, all of you. I want this, I want to do this.I want her to be my wife. If anything happens while I'm away I want to be able to be with her. Moms, it would mean everything to me if I could have both of your blessings for this."
Jess sat quietly as she waited for her moms to speak. Maura and Jane shared a silent agreement before Muara spoke.
"You are absolutely one hundred percent sure this is what you want Jess?"
Jess nods. "More than anything mom."
"Okay, then you have our blessing Jess. Do right by her, be the person we know you can be." Jess jumped from her chair and threw herself onto Jane and Maura, wrapping her arms around them tightly.
"Thank you, thank you."
Jane and Maura both chuckled before pulling away. Maura looked at her daughter. "You have to get Grandma Hope's blessing too Jess." The redhead's face fell as she realized she hadn't thought about that. Thinking quickly she pulled her cell out and dialed Hope.
Jane and Maura stood, deciding to give Jess a few minutes to speak to Hope.
Jane bent down and kissed the top of her daughter's head before speaking. "Mom and I are going to step out and give you a few minutes. We will be in the kitchen, come find us when you're done." Jess nodded her head as she waited for Hope to answer.
After a few rings, Hope picked up. Jess swallowed hard to try to get her nerves in check before she spoke. It all came pouring out. She explained that she was leaving for rehab. She explained her fears of leaving Cailin to go. Then she asked to marry her. She managed to blurt all that out in less than a minute and then she waited.
Hope chuckled. "Breathe Jess, I'm happy to know that you are taking the steps to move in the right direction. I'm also aware of how much you love my daughter." Hope paused a moment. "I give my blessing on one condition."
Jess smiled wide, before chuckling because she had said those same words just moments ago to her parents. "I'll do anything," she says, swallowing hard.
"You have my blessing to marry my daughter only if you two let me, Maura, Jane and Angela plan you a real wedding later on when Cailin is able." Jess's heart swelled as she squealed.
"Of course! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Again Hope laughed. "You're welcome sweetie, but Jess?"
"Yeah grandma?"
"Take care of her, get yourself together and love her the way I know you do."
Jess smiled through her tears. "I will, I promise." Jess and Hope spoke a little longer before Hope returned back to work.
Jess stood up and took a deep breath,some of her anxiety leaving her quickly. She took one more deep breath before leaving Maura's office and heading into the kitchen to find her parents.When she found them she squealed and ran over and hugged them both tightly. She picked up Maura off the floor and practically spun her around the room.
"Jess!" Maura squealed.
"Sorry mom," Jess said as she placed the blonde back on the floor.
Maura smiled.She loved seeing certain aspects of Jane come across in their kids.
"I'll be back. I've gotta tell Cailin!" Jess jetted for the door before Jane stopped her.
"Freeze Jess." Jess froze in her tracks and looked back at her ma.
"I know I raised you better than that young lady. Tell me you were not about to go just blurt it out."
"Well, uh, yeah. Kind of," Jess admitted.
"No. You sit your butt down and think about it for a bit and come up with something romantic. I will not allow you to spoil Cailin's big moment."
Jess chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. You're right ma. I'm sorry."
After thinking back over the years and last few months Jess thought of the perfect idea. It would involve pulling a few strings with a fellow officer but she knew she could pull it off with help from her moms.
"I got it!" Jess says loudly causing Jane to jump, almost spilling her coffee in her lap.
"Geez Jess, it better be worth it. You almost gave me a heart attack," Jane says, placing her coffee down before she could spill it. Maura chuckled from across the kitchen.
"What do you have in mind Jess?" Maura asked, taking a seat next to her wife.
"I'm going to need help from you both. Mom I'm going to need you to get Cailin to ride with you to the clinic but you have to take her car otherwise this won't work." Maura nods.
"Now ma, since I'm currently off duty I need you to pull a few strings to get me a ride along with one of the beat cops. I'll handle everything else." Jane nodded.
Jess's smile began to fade quickly. Jane and Maura both noticed. "What's up Jess?" Jane asks quickly.
Jess looked up with saddened eyes. "Well, I blew through my savings. I just realized I don't have enough to buy Cailin an engagement ring or wedding bands." Jess dropped her head in her hands and began to cry.
Jane and Maura had discussed this exact issue when Jess was in the other room. Both women stood and made their way over to Jess.
"Jess, look at me," Maura said softly. Jess lifted her head and looked into her mothers eyes. "Your ma and I have already agreed to pay for your wedding bands. Consider it our wedding gift from us to you." Jess's eyes went wide as she quickly looked from Maura to Jane.
"Really?!" Jess's voice cracked with emotions. Jane placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder.
"Of course Jess. Mom and I would do that for any of you." Jess again threw her arms around her parents and hugged them tightly.
"There's one more thing Jess," Jane says, sticking her hand in her pocket.
"What's that ma?"
"Mom and I want you and Cailin to have these," she says as she pulls out her and Maura's engagement rings.
Jess gasped. "Mom, Ma, I,I couldn't ask you two to do that. You are already doing so much for us." Jane shook her head no before taking Jess's hand and placing the two rings in her palm. Closing Jess's hand around the rings she spoke.
"We've already agreed for the two of you to have them. Wear them as a reminder that you two can get through anything that comes your way as long as you stand by one another, just as me and your mom have." This time Jane's eyes teared up but she quickly wiped them away before they could fall.
"Since it's already late I'm assuming your plans for the proposal will take place tomorrow. I'll make some phone calls tonight and get your ride along set up. Okay?"
Jess nodded and again thanked her parents. Later that night as Jess laid next to Cailin she was restless thinking of tomorrow. Tomorrow she was going to ask the woman she loved more than anything to marry her.
Cailin felt Jess tossing and turning next to her wrapped her arms around her and snuggled in close. Jess sighed in contentment before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.
When the sun came up the next morning Jess quickly got up and headed downstairs to find Jane and Maura in the kitchen.
"Good morning Jess. Are you excited?" Maura asked as Jess came into the kitchen.
"I am, thank you both again."
"Your welcome kiddo," Jane says as she passes Jess, kissing the top of her head. "And so you know, everything is set up. Mom and Cailin will leave first giving you plenty of time to get dressed."
Jess nodded before accepting a cup of coffee from Maura. "Thanks mom."
"You're welcome sweetie."
Everyone gathered in the kitchen shortly after for family breakfast where Maura covered her part of the plan. After breakfast Jess and Jane cleaned up the kitchen while Maura and Cailin left for the clinic in Cailin's car.
Once they were away from the house Jess quickly ran upstairs and got dressed in her uniform. Within the hour Officer Kelly was outside waiting.
Jane stopped Jess before she could step out the door. "Good luck kid, I love you."
"Thanks ma, love you too." With that, Jess was out the door hoping into the waiting cruiser.
Jess and Officer Kelly sat a few blocks down from the clinic and waited for Maura and Cailin to pull out. After a few hours Jess noticed them leaving. "That's them," she said to the other officer.
Officer Kelly nodded before pulling out to follow Maura and Cailin. A few miles down the road Officer Kelly flipped on the lights, effectively pulling Maura over. Jess stayed in the car as the officer walked over to the driver side of Cailin's car.
Her hands were shaking and sweating and her stomach was in knots. She breathed deeply a few times as Officer Kelly got back into the car.
"Alright Jess, it's go time. You ready?" He asked with a grin.
"More than ready." Jess replied as she opened her door and stepped out. Officer Kelly kept Cailin and Maura's attention on him as Jess approached the passenger side, Cailin's license in hand.
Jess reached out and knocked on Cailin's window and waited for her girlfriend to put it down. Jess watched as the window went all the way down but Cailin's attention was still on Officer Kelly so Jess took this time to speak.
"Cute picture," she said as she handed Cailin's license back to her. Cailin immediately recognized Jess's voice. Her eyes went wide as she bent forward to look up at her girlfriend.
"Jess, wha, what are you doing? Why are you in uniform? And why are you pulling us over?" Cailin said, trying to put the pieces together.
Jess had to work hard to hold back her grin. "Well, we pulled you over because you have a tail light out. I've told you many times to get that fixed, but now that I have your attention I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle."
Cailin scoffed. "Jess are you serious right now?" She asked as she began taking off her seatbelt. Cailin looked over at Maura who was already complying with the other officer. Not seeing any other options Cailin stepped out.
"Turn around and place your hands on the car please," Jess says, doing her damndest to be serious. Again Cailin scoffed but did as she was told.
As Cailin's back was to Jess, Jess stepped back and pulled the ring from her pocket and knelt down on one knee. Cailin watched as the other Officer and Muara stepped back from the car. Confused she turned around, her eyes quickly landing on Jess down on one knee. Her breath caught in her throat and tears burned her eyes.
"Now that I have your attention." Jess said, smiling as she took Cailin's hand. "Cailin, I know we have been through things that most wouldn't make it through. I know we still have a lot to work through but I want to work through it with you by my side and me by yours. I love you and I will spend everyday for the rest of our lives showing you just how much. You have shown me more love than I ever thought I deserved. Cailin, would you make me the happiest person in the world and do me the greatest honor of marrying me?" Jess held out the ring and waited with bated breath for Cailin to answer.
The brunette couldn't stop the tears that streamed down her face as she nodded her head yes.
"Could you maybe say it out loud?" Jess says jokingly causing Cailin to laugh.
"Yes! Yes Jess. I will marry you." Cailin smiled so wide it physically hurt her face. Jess quickly stood, placed the ring on Cailin's hand before wrapping her in a tight hug.
"Kiss her you fool!" Officer Kelly says laughing and Jess did just that.
After a few moments they pulled apart. Cailin rested her forehead against Jess's. "You did all of this to ask me to marry you?"
"I did," Jess says smiling. "I had some help from my moms."
Cailin turns and looks at Maura. "You knew about this? I thought you couldn't lie?" Maura smiled.
"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you what was planned for after we left the clinic."
Cailin smiled and shook her head. "Will Jane be upset that she wasn't here?"
"Well, I've had my body cam on this whole time, so it's all on video for everyone to see." Cailin wrapped her arms around Jess and squeezed her tightly. "I love you Jess."
"I love you too Cailin."
"Alright ladies. If i'm done here, I really need to get to the station and get ready for my shift," Officer Kelly says.
Jess walks over and shakes his hand. "Thanks for everything, I owe you one Kelly."
"Don't worry I'll collect on it one day but for now go celebrate your engagement Jess and congratulations!"
"Thank you," Jess says followed by Cailin's thanks and Maura's. They watched him drive away before Maura spoke.
"Okay you two, we have some very excited people at home who're waiting to hear the news so how about we go home and celebrate."
"Sounds like a plan to me," Cailin says smiling at Jess.
Later that night after enjoying the rest of the day with the family Cailin and Jess laid together in their room. With both of them doing better, they had returned to the main house and Emily and Ry returned to the guest house. As they laid there Jess finally broke the silence.
"So, I hope you don't mind but we are going to have to stay here with moms for a while. It was one of the deals I had to make with them. It stinks but it is what it is. I got off easy compared to what ma could have done." Jess couldn't believe after all this her job at BPD was still intact.
When Cailin didn't respond Jess called to her again. "Cailin, did you hear me babe?"
"What? Oh yeah, I guess that would be OK."
"I was also thinking I want to legally change my last name to Rizzoli-Isles so we can have my parents' name. That is if you want to take my name or do you want me to take yours? I just thought i'd be a nice surprise for ma and mom at the wedding. You know, that I am finally part of the family. We are."
Again Cailin was silent.
"Cailin, are you OK? What's wrong?"
Cailin looked up at Jess and Jess saw a tear sneak it's way down her cheek.
"Jess, I've been thinking about things and I don't think I can marry you."
"W-w-what? What the hell Cailin? You wait until now to say this? After we have already announced it to everyone?" Jess tried but failed to hold back her tears. "Why would you do this to me C? Now i'm going to be humiliated."
"I didn't choose heroin Jess. You did. You can't just expect me to pretend that never happened. You expect me to trust that won't happen again. You expect me to build a life with you and bring children into the picture? I can't. Not right now. I do love you Jess but I am not just going to jump into this until you prove to me things will be different."
Jess felt everything crashing in around her at that moment. This was her greatest fear. Her choices had ruined everything and she didn't have anyone to blame but herself. She threw the blankets back and pulled on her shoes.
"Jess, don't run off. For once in your life don't run away."
"I'm going to talk to ma. Just leave me alone!" Jess didn't mean to be so harsh but she was hurting. Without another word she took off out of their bedroom and headed for Jane and Maura's room. While she would usually knock when her parents door was closed, this time she barged right in.
Jane and Maura were both just sitting in the bed talking when they got the unexpected intrusion. Without a word Jess beelined straight for Jane, pouncing onto the bed and into her mother's arms as she let go and began to sob uncontrollably.
"Jess, what's wrong? What happened sweetie?" Jane tried and failed to calm her daughter. Without a word, Maura got up and headed towards Cailin to see if she could get to the bottom of what happened.
After several minutes, Jess finally was able to speak to Jane. "She, she changed her mind." As the words left her mouth Jess once again began to sob as she clung even tighter to Jane. "I ruined everything ma. I ruined everything and I can't take it back."
Jane couldn't find the words so she just sat there and silently comforted her daughter.
After several more minutes Jess spoke again between cries and gulps for air.
"How do I fix this ma? I'm sorry. Please just tell me how to fix it."
"Time. Time is the only thing that can fix it. You lost her trust Jess. You're going to have to earn it back and it's going to take some time for Cailin to fully trust you again. You're on the right track though Jess. Keep pushing forward sweetie because what's done is done. That's the past now. You can't go back and change it." Jane held Jess tight and rubbed her back trying her best to comfort her.
Meanwhile across the hall Maura had made her way into Cailin and Jess's room.
"Cailin sit up," Maura demanded as she flipped on the light. Cailin groaned but did what Maura asked. When she looked up and met her sister's glare Maura spoke.
"What in the world happened? You were beaming tonight." Maura asked as she made her way across the room.
"I don't want to talk about it Maura."
"Well tough, because I'm not leaving this room until you do Cailin. My daughter is in my bedroom sobbing so I'm sorry but this is happening now."
Cailin knew it would be pointless to argue when Maura used her no mess voice. She took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm scared Maura, it's not that I don't love Jess, I do. It's just how am I to trust that she will never choose drugs over family again? What happens if we decide to have kids Maura and she turns to drugs?"
Maura raised her hand and stopped Cailin. "I hear a lot of what ifs in those statements, and neither me nor you deal in what ifs. We look at the facts, and the facts right now are this. Jess loves you. She says her family is the reason she wants to get better but we all know that the soul driving force behind her pushing her along is you Cailin. Yes the future is scary only because we can't predict what will happen but when my daughter looked me in the eyes and told me she wanted better, told me she wanted to marry you, I could see her fear but I could also see the love and devotion for you C and the will to want to be better. She's scared too Cailin but if you two stick by each other there's nothing you can't get through together."
Maura moved closer to Cailin and took her hand in her own. "I'm not telling you that your feelings aren't valid Cailin. I understand why you are scared but you said yes. I watched your face and how happy you were when she asked you. I didn't see fear. I saw love, pure love. Don't let late night thoughts scare you sweetie. Don't cut you two down before you've even had a chance to begin."
Cailin nodded and wiped away her tears. "I love her Maura, I guess with my upcoming transplant and Jess going off to rehab had me the most scared. I want her there with me but I know she needs to do this."
"Jess wants to marry you because she loves you. She wants to spend her life with you, but another reason for this happening so soon before she leaves is because she's worried that if something happens while she's away she won't know and won't be able to be there with you, by your side. Every choice Jess is making from here forward she makes with you, and only you in mind. Don't throw it all away for fear Cailin."
Again Cailin nodded. "You're right Maura. I've been running and so has Jess because of fear but that stops now. I want to do this, I want to marry Jess." Maura smiled wide.
"I'll go get her, and you can tell her yourself." Maura stood and walked towards the door.
"Thank you Maura."
Maura looks over her shoulder and smiles. "Anytime C." With that Maura exited Cailin's room and made her way back over to her and Jane's room. Stepping in Maura walked over and hugged her daughter. "Cailin is waiting for you sweetie. She and I talked. She's just scared but I think you will want to hear what she has to say."
Jess nodded and stood up. "Is it bad?" Maura shook her head no.
Jess took a deep breath and thanked her moms for their comfort before going back to Cailin.
Cailin told Jess everything she had told Maura. They talked for hours, seriousness turned into laughter as the sun began to rise. Deciding to get some sleep before their big day, Cailin laid in Jess's arms and they held each other tightly as they drifted off to sleep.
Neither woman knew exactly what the future held for them but they did know that if they had each other that everything would be okay.