Chapter Thirty
A fist collided with an open palm, Sesshoumaru's fingers closing over the miko's hand.
Rin watched with wide eyes as they fought, Kagome swinging another punch and gasping as he tripped her backwards.
Wincing with sympathy as she fell, Rin rested her chin in both hands, watching her 'guardians' start to grapple and wrestle with one another.
"Do you think Lord Sesshoumaru likes Kagome romantically?" she questioned out loud.
A noise of disbelief reached her ears, Jaken lounging on the grass close by as he wrote a detailed list upon a scroll. He'd been in a foul mood ever since the MP3 player's battery had died.
"Don't be ridiculous, fanciful girl! What on earth would give you that idea?"
Rin hummed, tilting her head as Sesshoumaru knelt over Kagome's defeated form, a silver curtain of hair hanging down as he murmured lowly. His honeyed gaze remained locked in a stare with her.
"Oh, just a hunch."
"You're mistaken! Pah! Better not repeat that sort of thing around Lord Sesshoumaru, you know how it displeased him when the flea mentioned it."
Sighing, the little girl nodded. She continued to observe the spar, noticing their body language and unbroken eye contact. When they talked or focused on something together, it was like they became lost in their own private world.
After the hand-to-hand combat training ended in the field, Rin stood from her spot.
She'd intended to talk to Kagome, but stopped upon noticing a strange exchange.
The miko seemed weary, talking to Sesshoumaru in passing. He held her gaze, lingering close. He then gave a single nod. Kagome forced a smile, wandering away into the border of the trees.
"Where did Kagome go?" Rin asked after crossing the distance, looking up at the demon lord.
Sesshoumaru settled down at the base of a tree beside his discarded armour. "Never you mind. She is to be left alone for now."
Curiosity gnawed at her persistently, drawing Rin's attention to where Kagome had last been seen.
"Rin."
Biting her lip, she fiddled with her fingers. "She just seemed um… tired, is all."
Sesshoumaru exhaled through his nose, draping a hand over his drawn up knee. "Indeed."
"But not from the training?"
"... No, her fatigue is not caused by training."
Sensing an opportunity to worm information out of him, Rin sat down, folding her legs and looking at him with an innocent, expectant expression.
Sesshoumaru sighed, leaning his head back slightly against rough bark.
"You better not be bothering mi lord!" Jaken piped up, wading through the grass and shaking his staff. "Rin, what have I told you?!"
"Silence, Jaken," Sesshoumaru drawled automatically. His fingers twitched, lips thinning as he glanced at the little girl.
"My kind call it the 'grey shadow."
"Ohhh," she leaned forward slightly. "What's that? Sadness?"
"It is nothing so straightforward," he said, attention resting on Ah-Un further away, watching him graze. "The miko is dealing with something that can haunt esteemed nobility, peasants, seasoned warriors, servants and parents alike. It can come to anyone."
"Have you ever felt the grey shadow, Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He shook his head slightly, gaze far away. "It does not reside within me, though I have witnessed it. It goes beyond grief; rendering demons and humans listless. Their mood is low, sometimes unchanging for weeks, or even months. Eventually… their scent clears, and the shadow passes."
"Oh, so when it leaves, Kagome will feel better, and the shadow will be gone for good?"
Sesshoumaru didn't answer, golden eyes duller, having lost their usual fiery shine while hazed with memory.
"I think the miko is perfectly fine now!"
Rin blinked, shifting to look at Jaken, who set the ballpoint pen behind his ear, shrugging.
"She's smiling, talking, running and training without a care in the world. I'd say she's quite moved on from that unpleasant business with her friends."
"Oh?" Sesshoumaru's voice was an octave lower. "And because of this, you feel she is 'fine?'"
"Well… yes?" Jaken blinked, less confident now.
"How many have you lost, Jaken? How many dear to you perished before your eyes?"
"None?"
"Then do not presume to know anything about it," Sesshoumaru uttered quietly. "If she smiles, it is for everyone's sake that she does so."
"Yes, Jaken! Would you have her crying constantly in order to prove that she suffers?" Rin huffed, folding her arms. "That's not very mature of you!"
Jaken winced, clearly finding it rather unfair they were joining forces. He apologised, bowing to Sesshoumaru and trying to re-establish goodwill. Rin was only half paying attention, inching away.
As the two demons talked, she backed up, slipping silently beneath the cool shade of the trees.
Usually, she obeyed everything Lord Sesshoumaru said, but if Kagome was suffering with this 'grey shadow' thing, she wanted to help!
Hurrying through the trees, bare feet padded over dried leaves. She sent a few flying- skidding to a stop, noticing the edge of Kagome's bow from around a corner.
Carefully slipping behind a thick tree, Rin peered around it.
Kagome was just… sitting there.
She wasn't crying or lying in a heap or anything. She merely sat by the edge of a stream, staring off into space.
There was no visible distress on her features that Rin could see, and yet a stifling sense of loss permeated the air. Kagome's eyes were empty, hazed. Like something trapped her inside her own body. A silent scream poured from her blank, listless expression. To see one usually so animated with life rendered still and hollow felt disturbing to witness.
Rin didn't understand it. She'd cried out her own tragedies, but they did not linger like Kagome's. Though the memory of her family made her sad, lonely, Rin supposed death affected adults differently. She mercifully couldn't remember her own death- though hungry wolves haunted her dreams.
She noticed Kagome's arms were bent, hugged against herself like she was recreating the feeling of cradling something small, invisible.
Dark brows drew together. Soon Rin tip-toed away, not wanting to intrude.
The bottom line was that Kagome was clearly still suffering. Rin knew it couldn't be fixed overnight, but Kagome feeling bad wasn't good! So she endeavoured to do something about it.
"What are you doing?" Jaken grumbled as she took out some crayons from Kagome's backpack. She'd never used them before, but had spied them in the depths of her bag. They looked pretty, unusual.
"Making Kagome a present," she chirped, beginning to draw.
By the time the miko wandered out from within the woods, plastering an amiable smile to her face, Rin had finished. Hurrying over, she thrust a piece of paper upwards.
"For you!"
Kagome blinked, eyes widening-
-only to fill with tears.
"Gah! Look what you did!" Jaken gaped, hands fluttering as he glanced over at Sesshoumaru's reclined position fearfully.
Rin's eyes widened, confused. This was the opposite of what she'd wanted to happen!
"R-rin is sorry, Kagome," she stuttered, bowing her head and lowering the paper. "Rin did not mean to make you unhappy-"
"No-" a broken noise burst from Kagome's throat. Kneeling down, she wrapped Rin up in a tight hug. "No, it's fine. It was just a shock," she breathed, shuddering slightly. When Kagome pulled away, her tears remained unshed. Full lips bent up into a pained smile.
"Shippo used to draw for me with crayons," she murmured softly.
"O-oh!" Rin winced, hiding the picture behind her back. "Sorry for using them without asking."
"It's okay, you just wanted to do something nice for me. It's a lovely picture," she said, reaching around her to take the paper. "I didn't get to save many of his pictures. They got burned from a youkai attack before everything bad happened. I think he'd want to share his crayons with you."
Blue eyes were misty, fragile, but they danced as she pointed to a messy scribble. "This pouting guy is Jaken, isn't it?"
Rin blinked, slowly brightening with relief. Nestling close against her side, the little girl began chattering about her colourful drawings. A big two-headed dragon, along with a doodle of a grumpy kappa, an orange and yellow little girl, and a miko and daiyoukai holding hands.