Desideratum

Chapter 29

She held onto his hand as he led her through his restaurant of choice, her eyes roaming to take in their surroundings. Luka still refused to divulge their location, and with no clue whatsoever, Marinette remained in the dark. What she had been able to tell was that the place was undoubtedly beautiful. Palm trees swayed in the warm breeze and everywhere they went, they could hear the ocean; the weather was not too hot and not too humid, simply perfect.

She had to admit the restaurant was gorgeous as well, straight out of a magazine, but there was an uneasy feeling in her chest that stopped her from enjoying everything as much as she should. Once they were seated, she decided to address the problem.

"What is the meaning of all this?" she asked, gazing at him from across the table.

Luka grinned. "Well, I figured that since you're so overprotective, you wouldn't feel very comfortable while Cadence's gone."

"What makes you think flying me across the world would change that?" she asked, with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice. He shrugged. "New sceneries, new people. Me."

Marinette raised her eyebrows. "You?"

Luka nodded. "Me," he confirmed.

She was silent for a long moment, before she heaved a sigh and leaned back in her seat. A thought seemed to occur to her as she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow down at her plate.

"I take it you know how to woo your girlfriends. I bet it works, too."

He smiled. "What girlfriends?"

Her eyes were almost accusing as they rose to meet him. "Were there any other women?"

"Yes," he admitted firmly. "And I saw your face reflected at me in each and every single one of them."

"While we were married," she clarified. "While you were away."

Luka shook his head. "You were there," he said. "You were always there, Marinette. I loved you—so much. And I swear I wanted to make things right, but I… I didn't know how. How was I supposed to fix something I didn't understand? And you were so frustrating because I was used to you being understanding and yet you weren't making a single effort to get it—to get me."

"And you lashed out at me. Every single time." There was something in the back of her mind that warned her that she was crossing a line she had once sworn not to cross, but he had brought her there and had bought her that dress and was looking at her the way he was and everything was suddenly overwhelming, so overwhelming that she couldn't think and couldn't keep her composure intact. She felt cornered—and when Marinette felt cornered, she attacked.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

"I wasn't exactly the perfect wife, either, so it's alright," she replied automatically. "There's no need to go through this anymore."

"Yes," he insisted, reaching for her hand over the table, brown eyes searching hers. "Yes, there is. There is, Marinette, because I still love you. And I want you back."

She snatched her hand away, an incredulous expression on her face. That Luka was consciously and deliberately trying to find ways to approach her was no secret; but to hear him say it so openly…

"You're out of your mind," she declared in a soft voice.

Luka shook his head with a firmness that stunned her. "No. No, I've finally come to my senses."

"What makes you think that I could possibly change my mind?" she asked as she leaned forward, watching him with troubled blue eyes. This was a possibility that she had never taken into account, a situation she had never counted on occurring. There were no reasons he could give her that could make it logical in her universe. "Things are going so well right now. Cadence is good. He's happy. Why would I risk?"

His answer was immediate. "Because some risks are worth taking. I love you, Marinette."

She reared back as though he had slapped her, a thin sheen of tears in her eyes.

"And I want you in my life again—as not only the mother of my child, but my woman. I can't force you into anything, but I sure as hell won't give up until I've done everything possible."

She could barely find her voice to answer. "That's something you should have done years ago."

"Am I too late?" he whispered, watching her with soft eyes.

Her heart sputtered to a stop before abruptly picking up its pace as her mind frantically began to backpedal. Breaking eye-contact, she stood up. "You know what? I want to leave. I don't feel comfortable so many miles away from Cadence. I want to go home."

The front door slammed shut, hiding her from his view. Luka clenched his jaw. He loved this woman more than his own life, but sometimes, she could be so infuriating.

"Marinette!" he shouted as soon as he was inside the room.

In the faint light coming through the windows, he saw her cross the threshold to the bedroom, and followed suit. "Marinette—"

"Take me home!" she snapped, whirling around to glare at him. "That's all I'm asking! You've done enough of everything else!"

"Marinette, I know you love him, I know you want him to be safe, but you need to learn to let him go every once in a while!" She continued to ignore him, stalking around the bed to gather her clothes.

His voice rose as irritation bubbled up beneath his skin. "Why are you so protective?"

"It's because Cadence's the only thing I have left from you!" she screamed, stunning him into silence. Angrily, she threw her blouse back on the bed and placed her hands on his chest, pushing him backwards. "And it's been like that all along! Because every time I looked at him, I saw you! And it hurt!" Her throat constricted as tears invaded her eyes, but she swallowed hard against the resistance and fought to continue. She never saw the way his eyes softened, never noticed the step he took in her direction. "It hurt, Luka, but I put up with it and I was thankful for it because I loved you. I still do, goddamn it! You know this—and you have no right to play with me the way you're doing right now."

"I'm not playing with you," he murmured in a soothing whisper and closed the distance between them, cupping her face within his hands.

She pushed him away immediately, tears almost spilling from her eyes as she sniffled as discreetly as she could. "Yes, you are. Respect my decisions."

"You're asking me to respect decisions that are wrong?" he scoffed. "Come on, Marinette, you know me better than that!" Stepping closer, he grasped her face once more, forcing her to look at him in the eye. "I know you're well-aware of everything I've been doing to grow close to you again."

"There's a reason why I've been ignoring that."

"Open up to me," he coaxed, dismissing her words. "Open up to me again. I know you want this. I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voice. Take a chance. Take a chance, sweetie, and I promise I'll be there to catch you."

She looked up at him with pained eyes. "How can you ask me to do that?! How can you ask me to do that when there's so much on the line now?"

"Give me another chance," he insisted. "Please. One more. That's all I ask for." Their agitated breaths mingled together as he rested his forehead against hers.

Marinette closed her eyes. She could feel the heat his strong body radiated, could see the way his taller frame towered over her. How long since she last felt so protected?

He kissed her forehead. "Give us a chance to be happy," he whispered. His lips traveled down to her temple, then to her cheek, and finally came to hover over her own.

She was tense in his arms. Her entire body was trembling, but her eyes were closed and she was silent. He could feel her breath fanning against his lips and the faint beating of her frantic heart beneath his arm. Slowly, he bent his head. Their lips touched and the sky flared up. A bolt of electricity ran through his entire body and ricocheted up and down his spine.

A tear escaped her eye, traveled down her cheek, and splashed against the warm skin of his hand.

His brows drew together and his heart skipped a beat. If she pulled away now… if she denied him this…

The touch was feathery light—so light he barely felt it. Only that he did. Her lips moved beneath his—slowly, hesitantly, timidly. Then she was in his arms, and nothing else mattered.