Chapter Thirty: Denial or Fear
"you can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another."
― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
"He was watching her and she knew it. She couldn't see him, she couldn't hear him, but he was there. She could feel him."
― Arti Manani, The Colours of Denial
"Katrina you should go with them."
That was the order I had from our captain. I turned away and pretended that I didn't hear Daichi and that I indeed didn't have to go with the other girls to pick up groceries for this week.
"Katrina don't ignore Daichi," Suga says as he appears in front of me. His hands are on his hips and the boy gives me a chiding look. I pout and Suga sighs and gives me a frown. "You know that we'll be fine, so you can go with them and have fun."
"I should stay here and make sure that you guys run the new play correctly and that Noya and Tanaka don't skimp on the punishments and then that Asahi needs me to-"
I am promptly pushed by both Hinata and Yamaguchi while Suga follows them.
"No, you know that Ukai will do this and you know you will only be gone for a couple of hours. Go with the girls and have fun," Daichi commands from behind Suga.
My motherly setter tilts his head to the group of girls waiting by the door. My mouth makes a pout and I give him a pleading gaze but he shakes his head. I feel two hands grab my arms and I turn back around to find Kiyoko and Yachi with large smiles. They had really tried to convince me to come but they know that Suga and Daichi are somehow the only ones who can tell me what to do.
"Fine but I want a full report later," I yell at Daichi. The other teams are playing each other, with my team the one that is waiting. I catch Bokuto and Kuroo give me confused looks, no doubt sad that I won't be here to play with them.
"Hitz-chan, it will be okay. We are going to get some lunch too," Yukie proclaims.
The Fukorodani manager gives me a large smile and turns to lead our group. Her short brown hair bounces with her excited steps. She is normally the manager who is always excited by food. Her partner manager Kaori looks back at me with a smile and then nods to Kiyoko.
"It will be fun," I say out loud to the girls and to myself. This seems more like a threat than a promise, my voice whispers in the back of my mind.
Yachi holds some grocery bags in her hands, the reusable woven cloth waiting to be filled. It is Sunday and we don't have any more food for the week. The plan was for the managers to go to the store before lunch and I had quietly not mentioned that I may have wanted to go. Truth is, I haven't spent at all enough time with the other girls as I probably could. I was always telling myself I was a coach first and that I was content with the boys only. I knew I wanted to be friends with the girls but I didn't know exactly how to go about talking to them.
Like what would I talk to them about? I know that they don't want to talk about volleyball and plays and what they need to improve on as they are not players. I also can't talk to them about the boys because surely they would not want to talk about the same boys that we see 24/7. They're going to want to talk about boys like, liking boys, which I do not want to either. Aone comes to mind and I feel embarrassed that they may ask me about him.
"So Shimizu-san, have you been manager since your first year?" Mako asks. The Shinzen manager has her hair in a side ponytail and wears her normally white shirt with track pants. I am the only one who is in shorts, all other managers wearing their tracksuits.
"Yes, our captain recruited me after I was done with track," she says quietly. Feeling my surprise, Kiyoko turns to me and nods.
"I didn't know you did track," I whisper to her and she nods her head.
"I used to do hurdles," she tells us and my eyes widen. Kiyoko used to run and do the hurdles. That sounds so crazy. I can't ever think of me doing anything besides volleyball but even at that, running in general is tough on the body. Kiyoko is amazing and I know that this is why she is somehow just as fast as me when it comes to reflexes.
"And Shimuzu-san just recruited you Yachi-chan?" Eri asks as we stop at a red light. The neighborhood is somehow less quiet in the afternoon light than I would expect. Maybe it's because we are so used to our own quiet town.
"Yes she and Katrina recruited me a couple of weeks ago," Yachi tells the girl with a smile.
Eri's dark hair has come out of her two ponytails and she reaches up to redo them as we all wait in silence. I can feel myself retract into myself. This is so awkward. You're the only one who is awkward, my voice says and I know it's true. I haven't talked to these girls at all and I am fairly certain that I would be someone they would want to talk to. But even if they do want to talk to me, I feel so much like a sliding scale that I can't keep track of my own fears and anxieties.
"Hitz-chan, do you feel okay?" Mako asks and I realize that the light has turned green and everyone has started to walk across. I look at the girls and then nod slightly. Maybe we can just apologize and then go back to the gym. Maybe I can just act like I am not so shaky in my own mind and that everything is fine and I am normal.
"It's okay Hitz-chan, the boys will be okay," Eri proclaims as she comes to me. She grabs my arm and the girl jovially pulls me with the rest of the group.
"Sorry," I whisper and it is apparent that I am nervous. Kiyoko nods at me and I know she is trying to lend me her strength. Taking a deep breath as Eri releases me, I make myself speak to the girls. "Sorry, I'm not used to other people than the boys."
"It is understandable," Yukie says and I wonder why she would say that. "When did you come to Japan?"
Oh, they think because I am a foreigner that I am just awkward with people in general. I think that would be good to just go with but then how do I explain that I have been here for over a year but was just at a clinic in the mountains for half of that time. I bite my lip and can feel Yachi who walks next to me come closer. She knows nothing and is curious but also she knows that I have anxiety about this all. It's just a good thing that I don't hear the voices right now even if I am anxious and paranoid.
"I've been here around a year I think. Not too long," I reply.
"What country are you from?" Kaori follows up her counterpart and I look at the Fukurodani managers with a smile. They are kinda like Bokuto in the fact that they are just curious.
"I'm German but I have been to a lot of different countries for school and volleyball," I reply quickly. The girls give sounds of amazement and I know that I have to follow up. I pick at my nail bed of my thumb and continue. "I went to school in America and Switzerland and I was in Belgium for a little while."
"Wow!" Eri exclaims and looks at Yachi who shares the same face of excitement. I hope I don't become the spectacle of that weird foreign girl. "I wish I could go somewhere!"
"I would want to go to London," Mako says with happiness as we get to a street with shops and cafes. "But I am so bad at learning English that I don't even know if I would be able to make sense to anyone."
"Ugh, me too," Kaori mutters and I smile as we get off the topic of me. Kiyoko stops in front of a restaurant and it looks like a hot pot place.
"Do we want to go here?" my friend asks and I stop and look inside. It seems like it doesn't have a lot of people and I would want to have some hot pot.
"Oh this place looks great!" Yukie says and I know that she is excited when there is a sign that says an all you can eat option. She is a bottomless pit.
My face smiles as we make our way into the place. There is a sign that says to seat ourselves and the girls pick a table by the window. I sit next to Yachi and look out the window at the passersby. There are some people looking like they are leaving work, suits and ties. Then there are teenagers walking. A couple walks by holding hands, boy shyly blushing. Somehow this makes me think of Aone and how we people watch on the train. I miss him.
"What's wrong Katrina?" Yachi asks quietly and I know that I got caught thinking of something embarrassing. I turn slightly red and shake my head to let her know it's nothing. The girl smiles at me, knowing that under my loud personality I am actually pretty nervous with things that aren't familiar.
"So do we want to get an appetizer?" I ask the girls and they all smile at me trying to make an effort to be conversational.
"I think we should start off with some gyoza and then we can get some meat."
"I would want some Enoki mushrooms."
"Could we get some scallops?"
The conversation starts for what we are going to order and I watch all the girls around me. Eri from Ubugawa is by far the most bubbly. Her black pigtails and happy smile are somehow not indicative of her scary captain and all around team. Mako from Shinzen is our more calm manager, rivaling Kiyoko with her patience. The two Fukurodani girls balance each other with Yuki being the more quiet and laid back one and Kaori being the leader for conversations. Yachi and I sit quietly, the only first years of the group. Yachi opens her mouth to add to the conversation as Kaori moans, us not having caught what was said beforehand.
"Eh, Kiyoko, what are you going to do after graduation?" Kaori asks the girl. The question interests me and Yachi and I can feel our curiosity get the better of us.
"I don't know right now," Kiyoko whispers and this time Yukie groans. We look at her and the girl angrily flips the menu to the back.
"I have to study hard for exams. I don't know how I am going to pass with all of the boys being ridiculous and making our lives harder than necessary."
"You'll do fine. I don't even know if I want to go to college," Kaori proclaims as she goes back to looking at her menu.
"It's so stressful and I don't even graduate now!" Eri says hurriedly. She and Mako exchange worried glances and I have no clue what my answer would be to that question. Eri looks at me and Yachi and smiles. "You two are so lucky you have two years to figure out what you want to do with your lives."
"I think I would want to do design stuff like my mom," Yachi muses as she puts her finger to her lip in thought. The girls look at me and I stiffen. Oh no, they're gonna want to know what I might even want to do. I sigh heavily and know that I only am looking forward to getting by day to day sometimes. Those people who say that they don't know what they're doing because they thought they would be dead by now were right when it comes to not knowing what to plan for in the future.
"I just want to get through this week to be honest," I say and the girls all smile at me. They can't be happy with my melancholy answer. I am weird and they don't know me and I am a nervous wreck. Yes, but you are participating, my voice says.
"I wish I could just think like that but my parents are all over me with what I am going to do," Kaori laughs. I tilt my head and shrug as I feel a smile come to my face. They like me and as weird as I feel right now, they want to be my friends.
A boy comes by in the next moment and we let Kiyoko and Yukie order. Of course we are going with the all you can eat option and I have the thought that this might actually turn out to be a pretty fun day. Talking with them is easy and they don't require me to tell them my life story or to act in a way other than being myself.
Kiyoko looks at me after the boy leaves and I know she is worried about me. She knows that this was a lot for me and I have been trying to distance myself from everyone to get some silence. Bokuto had let it slip to her that I was in the middle of the field and wanted to be alone. Exchanging a grateful smile to her, Yachi turns to me and smiles back. She is a nervous thing but her head isn't full of white noise. I am worried that if the girls will like me they will be angry the minute I am also foggy and full of noise in my head.
"So Hitz-chan," Eri asks and I startle from my pleasant silence with Kiyoko and Yachi. "Who do you talk to at lunch?"
"Um," I open my mouth and let out a distressed noise. Oh no, just when I thought I would be off the hook for something. I give a pleading look at Kiyoko and she nods.
"She talks to Aone-san," my friend chimes in. Eri looks at her with wide eyes and we leave it at that. At least that is what I hope for right now. Eri opens her mouth to ask another question, no doubt of who the boy is and my hand flails under the table and hits Yachi.
"He's," Yachi interrupts and I know she didn't mean to open her mouth. She must have panicked when I accidentally hit her. "He's a boy who goes to another school in our prefecture."
"Oh," Eri muses and she opens her mouth to ask a question. Hurriedly I cough and grab the attention of Eri and the other girls.
My face is hot and I am no doubt blushing hot enough to boil the hot pot liquid. The bubbly manager tilts her head and I know she understands who he is but they are all very curious. Aone is not embarrassing. Liking a boy shouldn't give me shame or should give me so much embarrassment. He likes me and I like him. It's mutual and he is nothing to be hidden. I am the one who doesn't deserve him.
"Aone is my, he's, we're, he's the boy I am dating," I say shakily above plates and food and hot pot soup.
Eri's eyes widen and Yachi glances at me to make sure that my small voice is alright. The girls around me gives me such large grins and I know that there is some sense of victory with them knowing this small fact about me. Eri goes to open her mouth once again but this time Yukie and Kaori groan to get her to stop. They look at each conspiratorial and then give me a smile.
"What do you think the boys are doing right now?" Mako says to save the other manager and myself.
"Probably skipping their punishment since I'm not there," I mutter sourly. "I know they are and they know I will know. But they also know that since I know, we will be doing an extra lap."
"You're so mean Hitz-chan!" Kaori says happily but her partner in crime waves her off.
"They deserve it. If only we could have you make Bokuto do some extra laps. Akaashi says he has too much energy and keeps them all awake," Yuki laughs as our items are delivered to our table. Soon enough meat and the hot soup with burner are in the middle of the table, mushrooms and other greens outlining the main event.
"I mean I could but I highly doubt that he would be able to bounce back if I was his coach," I giggle. The thought of being mean to Bokuto like I am to my boys is so ridiculous because I know I can't even tell him anything negative without him going into full blow diva mode. The boy can only take so many mean things and I already know I am too strong of personality to be anything but his friend.
"He would cry if you were his coach and it would just be because you tell him he's late or talking too much," Kaori snorts and we all giggle with the thought of Bokuto crying.
"Your boys are getting better though since you have them. Even from when we first started, they have more game sense and your strategies are getting better," Mako tells me. Giving a small smile I can feel a smirk try to make its way to my face.
"Yah they have a long way to go though," I say as Yukie starts passing out plates.
"We are very glad to have Katrina on our team," Kiyoko says and I know she phrased it like that because I am a part of the team even if I don't step on the court. She knows that this will be the closest I will ever be to what I could be but she knows it's not a waste.
"I don't like this at all," I whisper to Ukai. I watch as the Russian middle blocks my ginger middle. Hinata descends to the floor as the ball hits the wood. He looks at his hand with fear and then clutches his shirt. I can't take how his eyes crush themselves closed and tears spring from the corners.
"He's starting to get discouraged," Ukai whispers back to me at the same time Kageyama frowns at Hinata in frustration. "Do we take them out?"
"I don't want to take Kageyama out but Hinata will need to be taken out because he's getting too depressed," I say quietly. I don't know what I want to do. I know that Hinata is getting beaten and it's going to create friction between him and Kageyama. Kageyama as it is, keeps trying his best not to give to Hinata for it to be read but when he does fake and he gives it to Hinata, the boy is still blocked.
"We should take them both out," Ukai tells me and I shake my head. If I take them both out then I am telling Kageyama that he is not good enough because Hinata is getting blocked. "No we have to do it Katrina, they are going to argue with each other if we take one out but if we take both out-"
"If we take them both out then we tell them they have no worth outside of each other," I say quickly. If Kageyama gets pulled because of his quick with Hinata then we tell him he is only good with the ginger and there is no use in using him as a setter otherwise. Ukai shakes his head as I glance at him from the side.
"Sugawara and Yamaguchi," Ukai calls the two boys. I throw the man an angry glance as he motions for my secondary setter and my middle. "Kageyama and Hinata, come out."
"Ukai," I spit and then grab Suga's arm. I look at Kageyama and Hinata, both boys giving me sad glances pleading me not to take them out. Ukai grabs my other arm and I move my pleading eyes to him. The man sighs but I release Suga's arm.
"Go in there," he tells our secondaries and I huff as I shake off Ukai's arm. Kageyama and Hinata slowly walk off the court as I walk towards the gym door. I motion for them to follow me and they know better than to not listen to me. We only have tomorrow left for this training camp and I am beyond angry that I haven't figured out a way to fix my freak quick.
"Katrina, I don't know why," Kageyama starts with a stern glance, he stops running his mouth.
I lead the boys out of the gym and into the sunshine. It's almost coming to the end of the day but I haven't been getting enough sleep so I feel like it could be midnight. I scratch my head and know that the action is only fueling the voices and how they urge for pain. If I can just scratch and pick my hair in the back so I can feel it sting maybe we can just ignore everything.
"I'm sorry Katrina," Hinata whispers as I turn to the boys slowly. "I have to do better. I have to open my eyes and I have to hit the ball."
"You can't do that," Kageyama argues and I know that this is what has to happen. But I also know this is not going to be pretty.
"If I never learn how to go on and open my eyes to hit, I will just keep getting blocked. I have to learn how to hit for real. I have to be able to stand and hit it without getting blocked," Hinata yells and I close the gym door so we could scream in peace.
"Without the quick, you will be useless. You won't be able to do it, we have to just keep it as it is or else what is the point in me tossing to you," Kageyama argues back and I know that that wasn't the right thing he should have said.
"You have to keep tossing to me. I have to learn, you can't not toss to me when we don't even know if we can be something more," Hinata says as he grabs Kageyama's shirt.
The boy has tears in his eyes and I know that the threat of not being tossed to scares him. If volleyball wasn't ripped from me by my own mind, is this how I would have fought to stay on that court. Don't think about yourself, you're so selfish.
"You can't learn it in a month. We can't change this now. It has to stay this way and we cannot change now."
"You have to give me a chance, I have to get stronger. I have to learn to stand on my own," Hinata tells Kageyama. The ginger grabs towards the other's neck and I finally move to grab his hands. Hinata starts crying harder and he falls to his knees as I pull his hands back.
"You can't stand alone Hinata. We are a team, you two are a setter and hitter. You can stand on your own with us," I say but then turn to Kageyama, "but we have to let him stand and you have to give him a chance."
"I don't have to give him a chance when we are so close. He can't change the quick and we can't win with him if he can't hit," Kageyama tells me and Hinata has broken down.
I shake my head and the brunette has realized the pain that his partner has realized. He has been saying Hinata won't be able to change the hit but we don't know. I can't help him either, but there has to be a way. We have to give the ginger a chance to change without telling him that he will fail before we know what will happen.
"Kageyama, we can't say no before we even try," I tell him.
Kageyama looks at me and I know that he doesn't think this is right, he doesn't think that Hinata can do it, but he knows that I wouldn't ask if I didn't think there was some possibility. I kneel down to Hinata and the boy is crying heavily. I don't touch Hinata, letting him get the frustration out before I comfort. But I don't have to reach out because Kageyama has joined our kneeling position and sighs loudly.
"Hinata we can try it, but I don't want you to think that I am not worried. If we change it and you can't hit then I can't toss to you. I don't want to not toss to you but I can't toss to someone who I know will fail," Kageyama confesses.
I know it's the truth, that my setter is worried that his counterpart will try something and he won't be able to play on the same court any more. If Hinata changes and Kageyama can't justify setting for him, then that's it. Kageyama doesn't want to do that. The two of them have become close and there's something about their friendship, their relationship on the court, that can't be recreated in just anyone.
"I know but I keep getting blocked, I can't do anything without getting stronger," Hinata says muffled as he wipes his tears. Kageyama puts his hand on the other's head and frowns deeply. I know that this isn't what I had thought would happen but I knew that we would have to help Hinata change.
"Okay well we're going to have to talk to Ukai. I don't know how we can help but I am sure we can find someone or we can learn what we need to do. I know it's hard but if we never give it a chance, then we don't know if we can grow," I whisper softly. The gym door opens and I stand quickly, spinning around to see Daichi and Suga.
"We're done for today. Everyone is going to start coming out," Daichi tells me. I nod and then grab both Kageyama and Hinata's arms.
"We're going to stay behind and I'll make sure we get something to eat and go to bed before curfew," I reply to our captain. Daichi nods sternly and I pull my two friends so we can hide from the rest of the boys so they don't know Hinata has been crying. Hinata and Kageyama allow me to pull them behind the building and away from prying eyes.
"How are we going to-" Hinata asks with a short wispy breath.
"I don't know. I'm a libero, remember? But I know someone who might help," I reply quickly. I have been losing my mind with worry and I pull out my cell phone while still holding Hinata's hand. Kageyama watches me closely as I dial a number.
"Who are you calling?" Kageyama asks and I hear the phone start ringing as I put it to my ear.
"Erwin," I reply quietly. I know that I am throwing all the chips in the air and hoping they land on their side. Erwin has no clue about volleyball but I would want to know who else he's heard of in this country.
"Katrina," the voice on the other line whines. I can hear the voice yawn and I roll my eyes. Hinata has stopped crying but squeezes my hand with his sadness. "Really? You know I don't wake up until noon. It's practically sunrise."
"Oh stop it," I reply in German. Kageyama quirks his head as he no doubt tries to remember who Erwin is and why I am calling him. "I have a question."
"You couldn't have text me this!"
"You never answer my texts and it's weird because my phone is all Japanese so the letters are weird," I reply as I begin to whine. The man laughs lightly and then I can hear him talking to someone. Another voice, male, complains in sleepy German.
"You woke up Conrad and I'm in trouble now," Erwin replies and I roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes! I'm in trouble and he's not going to-"
"No, no I don't need to know your punishment," I interrupt. Erwin gives a whine again and I don't know how the man can be so old yet act so much like a child. "Are you ready for the question?"
"Yah, yah, I got my computer," Erwin replies and I can tell I am being transferred to speaker. "Connie, sweetheart, just go back to bed. It's Katrina and she's annoying but she means no harm."
Ugh, I hate how he can take forever with a conversation but I know that he forgets to text me back. If I could just figure out who I could talk into fixing my god quick, then I don't have to deal with Erwin again for a while. Conversation is heard on the other side and I know Erwin is putting in his coffee order. I am surprised that Erwin has someone with him that puts up with his annoying self. Maybe there is hope for me.
"Okay, I need to know if you have connections to a coach here? I need a hitting expert and I am not getting far with my search locally," I tell the man when he takes a deep breath in after a yawn.
"In Japan? You're the only one I talk to there," Erwin groans and I tap my foot as he starts typing rapidly. "How about you call in a favor to a coach you had?"
"An old coach? I didn't think anyone would be willing to travel over here with something so small," I reply. Erwin scoffs and I know that this is really getting me into something else. "I don't want to call in an old coach, can't you just find me someone here?"
"I only know that nationals coach that just retired. Who coached the team before you? Surely you can ask them if they know anyone," Erwin muses and I tilt my head in thought.
The old Ukai was the one who had the team before me. I haven't met him but from what I could tell from plays in previous years that he was pretty good. You could have thought about this yourself, you didn't have to waste Erwin's time for this, a voice says. I shake my head when it returns to a level position. Kageyama steps closer to me and I know he is worried because it's a tell-tale sign I am trying to dispel the thoughts in my head.
"Okay that's not too bad. Can you keep looking?" I ask quietly and Erwin murmurs as more typing is heard.
"Why doesn't she just ask Gilbert?" the other man says I stiffen. Gilbert? I would never ask him. "Wasn't he staying in Japan?"
"When did you talk to him?" Erwin asks quickly and I don't think he knew this information. Suddenly my neck feels like I have Gilbert's hands around it again. This can't be. He can't still be here. What if when I was in the field he was there? What if that wasn't just me being crazy but him being there?
"Katrina, you have to breathe," Kageyama instructs as I find myself curled into a ball.
"Katrina are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't know and Connie was his friend. I didn't know," Erwin says quickly and I slam the phone shut.
"I'm fine," I tell Kageyama and Hinata soon puts his face in mind as his eyes search for what is wrong. I push the boy away and put my head into my knees. "I don't know what is happening."
"Do you need medicine? Water?" Hinata asks quickly and I shake my head. I open my eyes into the darkness of my legs and I can feel the tears coming.
Gilbert. He's like a bad song you can't get out of your head. You hate that you heard it in the first place and wish you could take it all back. I know he keeps in touch with Erwin's people but Erwin had said he knew something wasn't right when I was with him. Erwin was a lot of things but he wasn't a liar or a bad person. He's flighty and whiny and likes to be melodramatic but he's kind and has always stuck up for me when I was with other coaches. I have known him for years and he's been the one constant on all of the teams I've been on.
"Gilbert didn't leave Japan," I whisper and know that Kageyama and Hinata didn't hear. The two boys run off and I sit in my ball while they no doubt find someone to calm me down. My throat closes as I hold my breath to keep myself from crying.
You know he's going to get you. You would be lucky if you had a reason to leave. You know you don't deserve the boys and that they are better off without you. You can't help them with getting better and you know that they deserve better than you. We should leave and then you can just be free. We won't need to be here. We can go with Gilbert. Gilbert isn't bad. He was just angry at us. He can make you like you were and you don't need these boys.
"Katrina?" a voice calls and I haven't heard it enough to place it. They aren't my boy. "Katrina, what are you doing?"
"Nothing," I choke out when the person waits for me to answer.
"Let me call Kuroo," the voice offers and I pop my head up.
No more people. I don't want more people to come and see me. Kenma stands before me shakily and he can tell that I do not want Kuroo. Kenma sighs and then sits next to me. The boy is picking his nail and I lean towards him for whatever strength I might share with him. We are okay. I am okay. I may only be okay for now.
"I'm scared," I whisper to Kenma and he leans into me as he pulls his legs up like mine. The boy stops with his nervous twitch and puts his hand towards mine. He grabs my pinky and links his with it.
"I'm sorry," he whispers back and I know that this is so much for him. It is too much to deal with my anxiety as well as his all at once. "But it'll be okay."
"I don't want him to find me," I proclaim quietly. The boy nods and I know he has no clue about what I am talking about but he will reassure me nonetheless.
"Okay. We have to tell your team," Kenma replies and I want to shake my head.
I want to protect the boys and not let them see that I am so scared and that I am freaking out this badly. Maybe Conrad was wrong. Maybe I am not really in the same country as a man who I fear so deeply. Maybe this isn't real. None of this is real. If I can believe that nothing is real then maybe I don't have to deal with this fear.
"Am I real?"
"Yes you are. You are real."
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't."
So am I the only one who is freaked out by those old shaving razor deposit box in the wall that they had in like old motels. Also I am so sorry for the late update. Do you know what I hate about schools? Standardized testing. You know what the worst month for standardized testing is? April and May. It sucks. But enough about me, I am trying to update this story and my other one although my other one I am just doing it like a shot in the dark. Hopefully, I can get into a writing certificate program so I can become better.
As always everyone, follow, fave, review obsess. I loves all yous guys. Thank you all so much for everything! Hopefully more updates during the summer time!