Chapter Twenty Nine

The past fifteen hours had been absolute agony. Sleep had not come, hunger meant nothing. And the silence was the worst of all. It fell like a crushing weight upon the soul that refused to release its grip, it was the concept of isolation made manifest in the absence of sound.

How had it all gone so horribly wrong? How was any of this supposed to be fixed?

The regret and guilt Darkstalker felt was painful to the point where his stomach physically ached as if to vomit. Over and over, his mind replayed what had happened in the royal study. He tried to excuse his behaviour, that he'd just been so upset, so emotionally raw, he wasn't thinking straight. In an effort to stop the hurt inside himself, he'd lashed out. But no matter what he tried he could not make it right in his own mind. The unnecessarily cruel words he'd used against Moon made him shudder with revulsion to remember. The look on her face when she realised what he'd said, the pain that he'd felt echoed out through her mind, it had snapped him back to reality. But by then it had been too late.

She'd fled from him, and he'd tried to follow. But she'd locked herself in her room and wouldn't come out. He'd beat upon the door and told her over and over again how sorry he was until his voice was hoarse. No response came. For hours, he'd tried to talk to her telepathically. On several occasions he'd tried to apologise, only for her to shun him. The waves of her sorrow, the little sound of her muffled sobs through two sets of doors, it somehow hurt him more than any lash of the whip he'd ever received. He cursed himself repeatedly. Why had he done that to her? Moon, his one and only friend, as dear to him as his own heart, how could he have been so heartless as to tear her apart like that?

Sometime into the morning, Moon had finally lost the battle of exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep. But Darkstalker could not rest, so he'd wandered the castle all day, wallowing in his anguish. Around and around his brain went, trying to think his way out of this situation. He didn't have his magic to help him fix this problem, and his visions weren't helpful either. Glancing into the future to try and determine how he could win back Moon's affection was maddening in itself because half a dozen timelines all intersected with one another. In some, she forgave him, in others he had to work tirelessly to earn it, but in most she wouldn't.

Why had he kept the Program a secret from her? Was he ashamed? Or had he thought it might colour her perception of him and cause her to slowly lose faith in him? Knowing that he had been bred for war kind of disputed his earlier statements of being the wronged party when he'd been locked under Agate Mountain. He should've known she'd eventually find out. Even if his visions hadn't warned of the likely possibility, he'd known Moon was clever and inquisitive. It was always a matter of when she'd find out, not if.

And now, the near certainty of losing her was tearing the thin thread that held together his sanity. If she left him, he'd be all alone. And the thought of being trapped with nothing but his own thoughts again made him shiver in terror. The idea of returning to the darkness, to the place where he couldn't move, couldn't speak, just be still in a constant state of agony. Hearing everyone around him, screaming for help, but no one able to hear him… It took everything inside of Darkstalker to fight back the panic attack such thoughts evoked in him.

Yet, though he couldn't bear the thought of Moon leaving him, the idea of forcing her to stay also felt wrong. She was not his prisoner, she was his friend. He wanted her to stay because she desired to, not because she felt she had little choice. And he knew if she felt that way, she would resent him. If he wanted her to remain his friend, he had to earn her complete trust.

But hadn't he already destroyed that?

In the midst of his depression, his mind was weakened to the vicious whispers of self doubt that he usually never heard. They told him he ruined everything he touched. Fathom and Clearsight had left him because of his lies, because of his destructive behaviour. His imprisonment had been his fault. Usually Darkstalker never contemplated such thoughts. His self-esteem was normally never in question. But as he stood on the precipice of losing his last link to the world, everything felt warped, his sense of being off balance.

Somehow in the midst of his despair, he hadn't noticed that day had turned back to night. It only occurred to him as noteworthy when his wanderings took him outside, and Darkstalker found himself walking the battlements of his Castle. The ruined city lay all around him, the moons shining brightly, as if to expose to him every imperfection. Every broken home, every ruined street, every overgrown roof. Not even the small changes he'd made with magic had seemed to make a dent in the hellish cityscape he now saw. Everything he once knew, now rubble and ash. Even his memories of the old world felt just as flimsy and likely to float away.

A chilly wind rattled through the palace rooftops, but Darkstalker couldn't feel it. For all that he'd accomplished in life, the resignation of his fate weighed heavy upon his heart. His mind had once touched the furthest horizon of mortal imagination and reached ever outward to embrace infinity. There was no knowledge beyond his comprehension, no art or skill upon this entire planet that lay beyond his mastery. And yet, he looked and learned in vain… For now, at last, he had found the courage to turn away from the foolish echoes of mortal gladness. Optimism, blind hope, pathetic yearnings… he had to let them all go, one by one, to be as content as he ever could be on this earth, in peaceful solitude. A kingdom which lay in eternal darkness, shrouded in the chill silence of the grave. Darkness and silence had been his companions since the day he'd turned his back upon the world built by queens and hierarchies, and instead created an empire that was solely his. Yet with that came the destiny to always be alone.*

"Darkstalker?"

He whirled, heart pounding. Moon stood behind him on the battlements, eyes wide, her posture uneasy. Darkstalker held his breath, unable to make sense of her sudden appearance. Her eyes were still burned red from crying, she looked like she hadn't slept very well. The moonlight glittered across her scales, making the silver teardrops sparkle. She swallowed thickly, and he could sense her mustering her courage.

"I-I don't know why you lied to me," she said at last, her voice stern but belied with a shake of distress. She shifted from foot to foot uneasily. "I don't even know why I'm here. But I needed to tell you that I can't take any more lies."

"You want to leave?" he heard himself whisper.

"I don't know."

And all at once he felt that wretchedness again. He pushed down and suppressed his own grief for her sake - he wanted to be entirely focused on her. Though he had only just accepted that she would leave him and made his peace with his solitude, in the face of her standing here, right in front of him, he felt the desperate need to try and win her back.

"Moon-"

She took a step back from him. "Darkstalker, don't-"

"Please, hear me out," he crouched, trying to make himself as small as possible. "Let me say my piece, and then you can do whatever you like - I swear it. Stay, leave, never speak to me again. Just listen first."

A cold wind blew across them, stronger than the one before. Moon had to clench her wings by her side to stop the wind taking them. She watched him, studied him. For one rare moment, he left his mind open to her, so that she could see for herself his authenticity. Behind her, her tail lashed with indecision. Darkstalker had to step on his own to stop it fidgeting wildly. After what felt like an agonising wait, she finally nodded.

"Moon, I am so, so sorry!" he pleaded with her softly. He wanted to reach for her, to find some comfort in her warm touch, but he would never dare presume she would welcome that from him. "I shouldn't have kept the Program a secret from you. I see that now. I know it looks like I didn't trust you, or that I had something to hide, but please believe me - that wasn't the case!"

"Then why?" she asked in a small voice.

"Because I thought… I thought that if you knew why I was made, it might turn you from me. And all I want is to have you in my life. I want you to be my friend, always. Because without you, I'm so scared I'll go mad, Moon."

"What's so special about me?"

"Everything." he vowed fiercely. "When we first met, you heard my name and didn't react at all. No fear of the nightmare the tribe ran away from. No disgust of the strange hybrid. No pity for the poor wretch from the Program. To you, I was just like anybody else. You liked me for me. You didn't even know I had magic to fear, and you still gave me respect and dignity. You've shown me true value like I've never felt. And that's why I didn't tell you - not about being an animus or about the Program because I didn't want that to change."

She glanced away to the broken rooftops far below them. "If you'd only told me…"

"I know." he admitted miserably. "It was foolish and shortsighted - ironic, coming from me, I know… But… I feared what would happen if you ever, even for a moment, believed in Winter's stories. Without you I'd have nothing to keep me together. I'd dissolve into the monster from the fairy tales."

"But after you've chosen to keep the truth from me so many times, how am I supposed to know you're telling the truth now?" she asked, her eyes meeting his again, narrowed with suspicion.

Spinning on his heel, he stalked around the battlements, until he found what he was looking for. A small white pebble in the wall that was mostly loose from the old, cracked mortar. Digging his claws around it, Darkstalker pulled it loose and carried it back to Moon. He thrust it towards her, holding it almost right in front of her nose.

"Give me permission to prove I'm not lying!" he begged. "Allow me to enchant this one thing."

Moon hesitated, and Darkstalker did his best not to fidget in growing anxiety. What would he do if she refused? But then, Moon gave into his request, giving him specific instructions that would limit his magic. At first, he'd been frustrated by her way of not allowing him any loopholes to exploit. But now he could see she was being clever, giving herself peace of mind, and he abruptly didn't mind at all.

With her permission granted, Darkstalker laid the pebble in his palm. "I enchant this stone so that whoever holds it, should their words be dishonest in any way, it will glow red and become burning hot to the touch. When it leaves the touch of the holder, it will instantly reset." The magic settled on the stone, and to demonstrate, he held it up for Moon to see whilst keeping it on his flat palm. "Moon, your eyes have turned blue."

Immediately, the stone changed colour from white, to the brightest red that glowed softly. Then they both heard a small hiss of sizzling flesh. Darkstalker cursed, gritting his teeth as the pebble burned into his palm.

"Alright, I get it! Stop it!" Moon shouted in distress. Darkstalker dropped the pebble, and it turned back to white straight away. There was a tingling across his scales that made his talon itch, as his scales repaired themselves in moments. Gingerly, he went to pick the stone back up. But it was now completely cool and smooth and white, like an ordinary rock.

Holding it in his fist, he declared: "I was made to help the tribe take over the continent. I never questioned my purpose before, only my treatment. I have told you all that I know about the hateful Program, and you now know every grisly detail about my involvement in it."

The rock remained cool and white. Moon stared at it, her breath rattling a little as she held back her emotions. Gently, Darkstalker took her talon in his and placed the Stone of Truth in her palm. He closed her claws around it.

"And you now have my deepest, most sincere apologies," he whispered, choking on the guilt climbing up his throat. "What I said to you… it was unforgivable."

She ducked her head down, her tail coiling tightly around her back talons. Though she probably didn't mean to, memories of last night flashed into the part of her mind he could read. He felt her hurt at his betrayal, her spending hours pouring over his words, doubting herself. And it made him feel all the more wretched. "You wouldn't have said it if you didn't think even a small part of it was true."

"But I don't!" he promised. "None of it is true - none of it! You are not weak, Moon; after everything you've been through, you are remarkably resilient. Your father was awful to you, and is actively doing things that hurt you, and yet you are still so strong. My father was terrible, and my response was to hate him, the world he came from and then did everything I could to make him suffer out of spite. But you… You look at the world with so much hope. You try to see the good in everyone, even when you're given plenty of reasons to only see the bad. You, Moon, have my irrevocable respect."

"Then why?" she pleaded, tears in the corners of her eyes. "Why did you say-"

"Because I was upset. That's no excuse, but it's the only answer I have." He clutched her talons in his - so dainty compared to the large, skeletal width of his own. "If I could go back in time and hit my past self for what I said, I would. Many times. Do you want me to try?"

She snorted a watery laugh, he suspected involuntarily. The little noise gave him some hope.

"Moon, you were the only voice that kept me sane after six months of isolation in the dark," he told her seriously. "You were willing to give me a chance to prove myself. You are the most precious dragon in the world to me. Which is why I am truly, deeply sorry. For everything."

She stared into his eyes, wide and green as the shallows of a tropical sea. She was searching him, but for what exactly, he didn't know. But he read in her mind that she was moved by his words. He'd stirred a place in her heart from when she was a dragonet, all alone and crying out for company, for love. His wings fidgeted, wanting to embrace her, to never again let her feel lonely.

Closing her eyes, Moon took several deep breaths. A tear slipped past her lashes and crawled down her cheek. All at once a sob burst from her throat. She tried to keep it in her clenched jaw. But then more tears began to fall. Opening her eyes, she nodded.

They leaned into each other at the same time. Darkstalker swept his wings around her smaller frame, and Moon hooked her arms on his shoulders. She buried her face in the shoulder of his wing and wept. Darkstalker held her close, allowing his own tears to sweep down his snout.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry for everything you went through!"

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

They held each other for a long time. The moons bathed them in their heavenly silver light. Eventually, their tears ran dry, their sobs stopped shaking. Darkstalker felt as if he'd shed his skin, his body now raw and exposed and vulnerable. If the wind blew too hard he might break. But his heart was so warm, he felt new and rejuvenated.

Voice still croaky from crying, he heard himself ask, "No matter what happens… promise me you'll always be my friend?"

She took a breath, her mind slowly falling back to her as if she'd been in a dream. Slowly, she pulled out of his reach just enough to be able to look into his eyes. "I do, Darkstalker…" she paused, biting her lip. "But on one condition."

"Anything."

"If I ever find out that you've lied to me again, about anything else, then we're done."

"Yes. Done. Of course," he promised immediately. He pressed his forehead to hers, revelling in the feel of her mind all around his. "Thank you."

For a while, they sat beneath the stars, relaxing in the tranquility of watching the moons make their journeys across the sky. The shadows lengthened across the city, obscuring the ruins to the point where one might conjure a fantasy that the city lay intact and whole again. The wind changed direction, blowing in the scent of the far off ocean. In the distance, they heard the far off songs of wolves howling in the hills. Moon's body was warm against his side, her mind humming with thoughts, but muted. Enjoying the moment along with him.

"Do you miss them?" he heard her ask.

There was no point asking who "them" was. He sighed. "With every fibre of my being." He studied the brickwork under his talons, how each one layered over another, the discolouration from the sun, the cracks from years without maintenance. As he thought aloud, his talons scratched at the edges of the stones, like he wanted to pluck them loose. "But there's also anger, too. For what they did. Is that a terrible thing to admit?"

"No." she said immediately. He swivelled his head to look at her. "You're allowed to be angry. They might not have intended it, but their actions made you suffer. But it's also okay to be angry and mourn what you've lost. It's the first step of letting go."

The idea made his head spin. An instant panic set in that to do that would be to release them from his mind and memory, to let them fade out of his long, never ending life. "I don't want to forget…"

"You don't have to." She reached out cautiously, unsure of herself, and wrapped her claws around his, giving him a firm squeeze. "But let them rest now."

He tried to think on that. He knew he couldn't have Clearsight back, he'd already accepted that. She was gone, and he had to let her go. Fathom had betrayed him, had gone against him; he was so angry with him, but he had to let him go as well. Whiteout was gone. Mother too. They were all gone and he was the only one left. For a moment, it seemed funny, that for a dragon who had all the time in the world, he hadn't taken a moment until now… to actually grieve.

At first it was slow. Deep breaths and a sting at the back of his eyes. And then, eventually, he lay hunched over, quietly crying to himself. His heart ached and his stomach was sore from the emotions that had slammed through him for the past twenty four hours, but once he began, he couldn't stop. A gentle touch on his brow, and he heard Moon's mind whisper to his, coaxing him to come to her. And he did. Laying his head in her arms, he let her hold him, to offer him comfort as he grieved. He felt safe, vindicated and warm. It occurred to him only then how tired he was.

They lay there until the moons had finally danced away, taking the stars with them to bed until they could begin their escapades anew tomorrow night. The first rays of the dawn began to peak on the horizon, but neither of them felt inclined to move. Not yet, anyways. As he lay there, Darkstalker thought, on everything, and being so tired, his mind wandered unsupervised by his rational thinking. Until he came upon a small gem of truth that he needed to set free.

"Moon…" he began in a quiet voice, almost not wanting to voice the words. "You can go."

She shifted a little, confused. "What?"

"If…" he swallowed and tried again. "If you wish to leave the Kingdom of Night, you can. I know you miss your friends. If that is what you want, I'll show you the way through the mountains. And once you know the way, you can come back and visit whenever you want…?"

It was a desperate wish, but he hoped she would. He cared for her too much to selfishly keep her here with him. He wanted her to flourish, and if that meant she had to go and be with her friends, then of course he wouldn't stop her. Yet the only thing that made his upcoming isolation bearable was the hope that she cared about him enough to return to visit once in a while.

Moon didn't answer right away, and her silence made the growing tension so thick, Darkstalker felt it was hard to breathe. He could sense in her mind that she was torn, but he already knew the answer that was coming.

"Thank you," she said in a soft voice. Darkstalker deflated a little, and resigned himself to his fate. Reluctantly, he went to stand, to show her the way through the mountains, when he felt her push a talon on his snout to keep him down. "But right now, I'm staying here."

He blinked, certain he'd misheard. "What?"

"Well, you and I still have a kingdom to fix and my education to complete." A smile started to grow at the edges of her mouth, the growing light of dawn making her eyes twinkle like emeralds. Darkstalker lay with his mouth hanging open in disbelief at what he was hearing. "And, you promised to help me stop a certain prophecy. I want to help my friends, yes. But I can help them stop the war by being here and doing what I can. And you're my friend too, you matter too."

His smile was so large, he thought it would split his face. Moon pressed her forehead to his and their minds joined together to share in their happiness. In that moment, the two of them forged something precious together. And Darkstalker would be damned before he would ever let anyone ever ruin it.

* - Lovingly paraphrasing Susan Kay

Author's Note: And so we come to the end of Part 2, and are perhaps half way through the story now! Maybe I should've stated this earlier, but this story will have four parts, unlike anything that follows the traditional Wings Of Fire method and having three. I did want to only have three, but the story leant itself very nicely to four, so... *shrug*

As with the end of Part 1, I'm going to go on a couple weeks hiatus to update other projects and also put in a load of time to play the new Mass Effect: Legendary Edition! I won't be away too long, and will be back with a great thrilling part 3 for all of you! So I'll see you then!

A massive thank you to everyone who has supported me so far - you guys are awesome! And please please please don't forget to leave me a review! I love every bit of feedback!