Chapter 30: R.M.T.
Feeling the tingle of light on his closed eyes, YN began to slowly wake up.
The sensation he felt was very familiar. The smell of fresh, laundered bed sheets and cut flowers filled YN's nose as he took a breath in. He could feel just how high quality the sheets on the bed were from how soft and smooth they were.
Opening his eyes, YN saw the familiar ornately designed ceiling he was familiar with when he would wake up. But only on the first day in the mansion. His room's ceiling was not ornate as the one in the guest room.
Seeing the ceiling, feeling the bed that was not his, feeling the same sensation and smells as his first mornings, a squall of fear and sorrow filled YN.
As if originating from his heart, he could feel the sensation be pumped around all of his body with each heartbeat. Fear, regret, frustration, sorrow, the cocktail of emotions mixed with his blood and spread above his body. All the things he has done right, was it all gone?
His legs began to shiver slightly and a cold sweat began to develop on his forehead. Shutting his eyes, YN fought to keep tears from forming.
YN just wanted to roll up into a ball and comfort himself, the only thing he could think to cope with the coming dread that felt as if it were diffusing into his very soul.
Going to move his hands, YN first felt his left hand, his fingers quivered as he pulled the sheets it held into a loose fist.
His right hand was something completely different. His fingers didn't quiver in the least, and it was as if the dread in his blood was not reaching that hand at all.
Instead, it felt as if his hand was warm. A feeling of compassion and love was present in his hand, keeping the dread from taking over his body entirely. In YN's hand, he could feel a softness and smoothness not unlike the sheets, but better, and warmth not produced by himself, but from its own volition.
Turning his head, YN then opened his eyes more, eager to see what his hand held.
Before him, laid his hand, holding another hand. Their fingers were woven together, tight like a cloth stitch. Eight fingers in total, one of his, one of the others, one of his, one of the others.
In his dread filled drowsiness, YN mustered the strength to try and look up from the owner of the hand he held.
Trying to raise his eyes up, up to see just who was being kind enough to show him pity like this, he was stopped before he could fully see for himself.
?: YN-kun? Are you awake?
YN's body up to that point had been a still puddle, one that had been slowly but surely been turning more and more murky as the dread expanded and took over everything.
But at the sound of the voice that spoke to him, a single drop from high above fell onto the puddle, creating a ripple that cleared away all the murky dread that filled YN.
Looking up at the voice, YN's answer to who's voice it was by sight alone was unanswered by the silhouette the person was in, created by themselves from the intense morning light being cast in from the open window behind them.
Like an angel, this person was there when YN needed them most, at what felt like could be his lowest.
The warmth from the hand he held quickly continued up his arm, and purified the rest of his body from the dread that threatened to drown him in fear and regret.
Regardless of what his eyes couldn't tell him, YN knew exactly who it was that was here with him.
No one else could ever hope to make his dread disappear as it had. No one else could speak to him in such a calm and reassuring way. No one else could hold his hand this way. And no one could look as much as an angel as she did, even if she was a "demon."
Looking up to the maid that held his hand, YN let his morning voice croak out the name of the person he owed the most to in this new world he found himself still in.
YN: Rem.
With the light behind her blue hair subsiding, and YN's eyes adjusting, Rem came into full view for him, her warm expression still holding the brightness of the light that was there no more.
Rem: Yes, it is your Rem.
With her words came a slight squeeze from the hand she held, as if reassuring YN that everything was okay.
Bringing her other hand to her chest, Rem hung her head, and her warm smile turned to one of bittersweet.
Rem: Rem was never able to apologize for not being able to save YN-kun from nearly dying, and for further endangering him after that.
A stripe of guilt went through YN. Sitting up, YN put his spare hand over hers that still held his.
YN: Hey hey, Rem please don't be sad, it all turned out okay didn't it? I'm fine, and I'm guessing Subaru turned out fine too, right?
The mere fact it was the next morning and he had not Returned By Death with Subaru had meant the curses had to have been lifted somehow. YN had no doubt that Subaru was in no danger from them any longer.
Rem: Yes. Roswaal-sama cleared the rest of the forest of any and all mabeasts, so it would not be possible for Subaru-kun's curses to activate.
YN: See? Everything worked out. Could we have hoped for a better result?
Rem was quiet for a moment before answering, her head still hung, and her smile gone.
Rem: Things would have been much better had Rem not been as powerless or incompetent as she is. If Nee-sama had had her horn, nothing bad would have happened. Rem will always just be Nee-sama's replacement, meaning Rem will never be as good. Rem will always be inferior.
Lowering her head more, letting the hand at her chest drop, and losing part of the grip she held on YN's hand subside, Rem was silent again before continuing.
Rem: Why was Rem the one to keep her horn? Why couldn't Nee-sama keep hers? Why did she have to only be born with one horn?
Going quiet for a moment again, tears began to well up in Rem's eyes.
Rem: Why did... Why did we have to be born twins?
Shocked at the way Rem felt at how she was letting herself say such self defeating things in front of him, YN couldn't respond immediately.
Seeing YN's expression, Rem quickly wiped away her tears with her sleeve.
Rem: Please excuse Rem. It was not Rem's intention to become so emotional. Please forget what Rem said.
Tightening the hand he still held on Rem's, YN mustered the courage to speak again.
YN: Rem, I think you put your sister on too much of a pedestal. Even if she had kept her horn, I don't think she'd be any better off in her current position.
Looking up, Rem's expression had finally finished being a somber one, to now being one of surprise.
YN: Her cooking, cleaning, and work ethic are all nothing compared to yours. She often slacks off on the job and—
Rem: Your wrong! Nee-sama's true self is more… If YN-kun knew what...
Hesitating, YN could see Rem struggling to truly find fault in his words.
Rem: Eh—, what Rem means is if Nee-sama had her horn, then—
YN: But she doesn't, so it's pointless if I knew what she would be like if she had her horn.
Rem was silent at YN's words, hanging her head once more.
YN: Rem, I think you need to realize that you have what Ram doesn't, you can do the things she can't, she relies on you to do that. How can someone who's supposed to be so much better than you be that if they also have to rely on you that much more?
Bringing her hand back to her chest, Rem looked back up, listening to YN's words carefully.
YN: Nobody here needs to be better or worse than anyone else though. She's your sister, she can rely on you since you're the one who is able to cook and clean and give their best effort when doing things.
Letting go of Rem's hand, YN turned, putting his feet on the ground.
YN: I'm not saying you're entirely wrong in giving your sister praise. She has her moments.
Standing up and stretching, YN re-extended his hand that Rem had been holding back to her once more.
YN: If it wasn't for Ram, then me, Subaru, and you might not be here right now. But you know what? If it hadn't been for you too, I wouldn't be alive right now.
Hearing YN's words, Rem's expression stiffened slightly, letting him know his words were getting through to her.
Taking YN's hand, Rem was helped up from her chair.
Rem: If my true Nee-sama had been there, everything would have been much less painful.
YN: Perhaps. But you were the one who saved me regardless, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
A slight gasp came from Rem.
Rem: B-but if Rem had been quicker, o-or not been reckless with her mana then—
Looking down once more, Rem's sad expression quickly returned.
Rem: Rem said she was only Nee-sama's replacement, yet still—
YN: You shouldn't see it that way Rem, it's not fair to yourself. I may not be entirely privy to how Ram lost her horn, but ya know what? All you've got to be is the horn Ram doesn't have. She relies on you for that already, nothing changes other than how you view yourself.
Rem: But...
YN: It's fine for people to rely on others Rem, everyone should. Ram needs to rely on you, but you know what you need to do too? Have someone you can rely on.
Rem was silent. Turning her gaze away from the floor, she slightly gripped YN's hand that she continued to hold before speaking.
Rem: Rem is... very weak. Especially now. If you keep saying these things, it will be YN-kun that Rem will be relying on...
YN: Rem, don't you remember? I already said you could.
With a look of surprise forming on Rem's face from his words, he could tell she was about to protest it, so YN spoke again before she could.
YN: There's nothing wrong with it. Just look at how relatively helpless and weak Subaru is, and he has to rely on everyone he can to get through things. You having one person to rely on really isn't a big deal, Rem. If anything, it's worse to not.
Putting his free hand over her hand holding his again, YN looked down at their overlapping hands and softly smiled.
YN: I already rely on you. So we can just lean on each other, okay? We can talk, and laugh, and help each other, okay? It's the least I can do for the angel that's come into my life to help me as much as you have.
As YN finished speaking, a gust of wind came in through the open window.
Gently swaying the curtains and rocking the pedals of the cut flowers in their vases, so too did Rem's blue bangs sway in the wind, showing both her eyes begin to well up with tears in them.
With the sun's light also shining brightly once more, the same tears began to catch the light as they fell, giving Rem the look as if she herself were shining too.
Rem: YN-kun... Rem is so happy you're here.
Trying to wipe away her tears with her free hand, Rem began to laugh and giggle in the joy she felt at this moment.
Seeing the beautiful blue haired maid in such a state and reacting to the words she said to him, YN let her hand go, and pulled her close to him.
With Rem embraced next to him, she buried her face into his chest, letting her tears of happiness flow unabated into his robe.
With both of his arms around her, Rem pulled her arms up from her sides, and held YN by his shoulder, gripping the sleeves of the robe he wore.
Putting his chin on the top of her head, the two embraced one another.
No more words needed to be said.
YN had finally survived his first week at the mansion, and he had done so while also winning over the heart of the first person to have shown true kindness to him in this new world.