Well, new chapter. This one was a really cool one to write! I had a lot of fun so I hope you will like it as much as I do! Tell me what you think of it, I always want to know :)
This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful fiancee. Happy birthday :D
Thank you to my beta, she is a star.

Chapter 30

"Ok so how are we getting out of this one this time?" Rose asked, half joking - half terrified to death. She was prepared to die. Had been for probably the last thirty years at this point, but she wanted to do it in a way that made sense. In a way that would leave her in peace and with hope for the future, not devoured like a piece of cake in a formal party. And especially not in her very own horror movie.

Without giving the Doctor time to respond, River took out her gun and fired at the wall behind them. "I propose getting out right now." she said with a certain humor as she pushed proper Dave and Anita through the hole, making them crash into what they supposed to be another bookcase.

"Great idea!" Rose grinned while literally jumping into the other room. As they could hear the body of Other Dave shuffling behind them, his suit emerged from the shadow, River closed off the wall.

She holstered the gun again, visibly pleased with herself, making Rose smirk. "Ok, I think we've got a clear spot. Right in the centre, we have light here," River declared while looking suspiciously at the shadows in the different corners. "I'd say don't let your shadows cross. Just in case." She turned to the Doctor who was scanning around with his screwdriver, intense concentration on his face. "Did you find another one?"

"Maybe. It's getting harder to tell," he mumbled, his eyebrows all scrunched.

River sent an exasperated look to Rose, who had to cough to mask her giggle and turned to the others asking, "Does anyone have a piece of chicken or a sandwich by any chance?"

The Doctor turned back with surprise. "You're hungry? Right now?" he asked as proper Dave gave her a chicken leg from what Rose hoped was his lunch.

"Thank you Dave." River took the chicken and threw it down one of the shadows without warning, transforming the meat into only a bone before it could hit the ground. "Found one," she deadpanned.

Normally Rose would have laughed, but Miss Evangelista's death was a bit too fresh for that. So she averted her eyes because she was afraid that, if she stared too long she would cry.

"Oh Rose…" said the Doctor softly, his eyes soft and shaded when he noticed her pain. Without another word he took her into his embrace, exchanging a desperately needed hug. She was squeezing him hard enough to probably stop him from breathing but he didn't move, not even a bit. And for a few seconds, they were at peace.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I don't think we have much time before the rest of the swarm finds us…" River called reluctantly as she looked away, trying her best to give them a bit of privacy for a moment.

Rose felt very embarrassed to have been caught like that and tried to disappear behind the Doctor, who had gone back to scan the shadow around like the last minute had not happened. River seemed to be endlessly amused by their antics and she wondered once again what was their link in the future.

"Im sorry but who are you exactly?" proper Dave interrupted - visibly fired up and afraid. "Because you expect us to trust them, like we didn't find them in the middle of a quarantined and abandoned planet after 100 years of silence. Who are they?" he asked River.

She crossed her arms, her face neutral. "The Doctor, Rose Tyler and Donna Noble." Her voice was pleasant and matter of fact, but had an edge on it that made Rose straighten out a bit. The Doctor had wandered off with his sonic, not interested one bit by the conversation. Well that was he wanted them to believe, but Rose knew he was listening intensely.

"Ok, and who are they?" continued Dave grumpily.

"I trust them. That's all you need to know." River was beginning to lose her cool a bit, but Dave seemed extremely insistent for an answer. And Rose too, to be honest even if it was a glimpse into their future.

River rolled her eyes and puffed. "Listen, all you need to know is that I've been to Hell with those people. Almost literally I have to say…"

The Doctor, sensing that tensions in the room could heat up at any time with the temperament he could feel in River, decided that perhaps he should say something as a distraction. And nevermind the fact that River's behavior oddly reminded him a bit of Rose when someone was trying to bullshit her. Most of the time it was him. He then decided to interrupt them with a cough. "There is a signal coming from somewhere that is disrupting my sonic."

"Is someone using the hairdryer again?" Rose asked cheekily, only to have him stick out his tongue as a response.

"Use the red settings," River said with her eyes still on Dave.

The Doctor looked at his sonic, then at River with puzzled looks. "It doesn't have a red setting."

"The damper then," she replied dismissively with a wave as Dave turned around, mumbling into his beard.

The Doctor frowned unhappily. "It doesn't have a damper either."

"Seriously, you're worse than…" River started while turning around with a bit of temper before she realized who she was talking to. Or more importantly, which one. "I'm sorry, I forgot for a second that you're... well… the wrong regeneration." She was even blushing a bit under the embarrassment. "So too late to say spoilers about the damper?" She tried to joke while holding out her own screwdriver, but it obviously fell flat on the Doctor as he looked at her in a calculating manner, snatching it up with a swift move.

"So, in the future I give you my screwdriver. Just like that." His tone was polite and friendly, but Rose could hear the underlying steel in his voice. And she couldn't really blame him, he never parted with his sonic, well not willingly. She had the feeling that River was good, but she wasn't always right. So she decided to take a step back and wait on this one, just to be sure.

River sent a quick look to Rose, whose face remained neutral. "Yes?" She finally responded, not really sure where to fit that one in.

"Why would I do that?" the Doctor continued, making a show to sonic all around them, like the response was of no importance to him.

River crossed her arms, a mullish expression on her face. "If you want to know that much it was a gift."

He stopped for a second, clearly not convinced. "A gift?"

"No, I plucked it from your cold dead hands and danced on your ashs." The sarcasm was so thick, you could plunge a knife in it Rose thought. "Yes, a gift. It was from you and… Well it was from you, that's all you need to know," She finished lamely, not so without looking at Rose rather furtively.

His goal was now all but completely forgotten. "And how can I know it's the truth, that you're not lying through your teeth?"

Rose had wanted answers, and was happy to let the Doctor take the reins on that one, but she had the feeling he was starting to go too far. Plus they had more pressing matters than seeing if River was lying or not. "Doctor, maybe now is not the time," she finally said, putting her hand on his biceps, interrupting his focus.

"I know you've lost Donna, and right now you're angry and trying to take it out on me," River said patiently, her voice full of compassion and sadness. "I understand, believe me I do. But you need to focus and be less emotional right now."

The Doctor could not look more affronted even if he tried. "Emotional. Me? I'm not emotional!"

"Doctor…" Rose tried. She knew he felt guilty, and thought what happened to Donna was his fault. And there was nothing she could say to change that. The weight of the universe on his shoulders… It had hurt back then when she was still young and naive, and it hurts even more now. Because she understood just what he felt.

"Look," said River with as much patience she could muster. "There are six people in this room still alive. Focus on that please." She turned to Rose with an exasperated look. "Rose, please tell him."

But before Rose could even think about something, the Doctor started again, River's interjection making him visibly more irritated. "Don't pull Rose into this!"

Rose pushed him a bit, making him look at her with surprise. "I can do whatever I want, thank you very much." Her tone of voice was clearly annoyed. But she could not help but feel a bit amused at the face he was making. How the tables have turned...

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" interrupted Lux, having had more than enough of the argument. "Look at the three of you. We're all going to die right here, and you're bickering worse than my children!"

"Look, Doctor, I know you don't trust me right at this instant and I completely understand why. It pains me to say that I'm virtually a stranger to you. But right now I need you to be on my side, and not question my every step, because lives are at stake. And I'm really, really sorry in advance. I can't believe Cap was right…" the last phrase had been said under her breath, and Rose was sure she was the only one who heard it. But before she could ask her what she meant by that, River had walked to the Doctor and whispered something in his ear, making him lose all color. He looked briefly at Rose then River before his face closed off.

"So, are we good now Doctor?" River said in a pained voice. She had done what she had done only because she had no other choice, but clearly she was not happy with it. It was written all over her face.

He nodded once, his eyes firmly locked into River's. "Yeah, we're good." Then without another word, he walked away.

"What did you say to him?" Rose asked River, who could only shrug in response. She wanted to press the subject, but she knew she was going to the wrong person. River was bound by the future, the wrong word at the wrong time and everything would fall down. She knew too well the consequences. She still had nightmares, even after all those years. So she nodded to River, and without further notice walked to the Doctor, who was scanning a bookshelf on the other side of the room.

She put her hand on his shoulder, making him turn briefly before averting his eyes again. "What did she say to you?" Only silence responded. "Doctor…" she said kindly, trying her best to comfort him with only one touch. "Remember, no more secrets."

He sighed, still not looking at her, but she could feel him relax a bit under her hand. "She… She said a part of my name," he finally said with an infinite sadness she could not understand in his voice.

"Ok?" She was officially lost. "And that's bad?"

"You don't understand." After a minute the Doctor looked at her, raw pain radiating from all around him. "It was my real name."

Rose felt as if ice water had been thrown on her. "Oh," was the only thing she could say, her brain now completely void of any thought. He had once said to her in the dark of the night a long time ago, that his name, his real one was hidden in the void of time. It was too dangerous to know by anyone and so he concealed it in Time itself. After a minute, she asked, "how?" It was the only question she could muster at that instant.

The Doctor turned away, not able to face her with what he was about to say. "I can think of one instance when someone is able to learn my name." He had racked his brain for any other explanation. Just one that didn't involve what he was fearing to be fact, but nothing else would do. And he was now the only person alive in the whole universe to know it. "During a Gallifreyan wedding."

She jerked back, her eyes wide with surprise. "You mean...With you?"

He made a movement, as if he wanted to touch her but let it fall down at the last second, putting in his own pocket instead. "That's the only explanation I have…" The revelation was still breaking his hearts. And the fact it was not Rose… How could any future him not love her with everything in him? How could he do that to her? He had never really thought about marrying seriously again one day. But he always thought if he had to do it again, and for love this time, it would be with Rose. And now, imagining doing that with someone else, with Rose still in his life, because River clearly knew Rose really well. He just wanted to throw up. Or punch the future him in the face.

"But… She knows me," her voice was tiny and hurt. Rose was trying to understand, really she was, but she couldn't. Does that mean in the future she would leave him and go back to UNIT? Crossing him only during an invasion gone wrong? She knew she had said in the beginning she would do that once the universe was safe but things have changed since. For her at least. When she told him she wanted them to be friends and go slow, she was implying that somewhere along the way they could be more. But maybe it was different for him? Maybe the feelings they had once upon a time didn't resist the change she had gone through. She had the sudden urge to cry at the realisation. She felt like losing him all over again, but this time it was in slow motion.

The Doctor wanted to take her into his arms, console her and promise that everything would be alright. But he couldn't. Not when he didn't know himself. "I'm sorry…" was all that he could say.

"Doctor, we need help here!" River suddenly yelled from the other side of the room, making them both turn around.

"We'll talk about it later," he promised before running to the rest of the group, his sonic in hand.

As Rose followed him she could only think about one thing: They never talked. Like everything else, it will simmer until it becomes forgotten. And she was afraid that this time wouldn't be different. But maybe it was for the best. Maybe if she knew right away, she could prepare herself and leave before she could lose herself completely? Hah! Who was she kidding… She had been in love with that man since she was 19. She would put a brave face when the time came, but her heart was already broken at the thought.

"Anita has two shadows." River started as soon as they were near them. "And with the moon rising we are starting to lose light. We really need to think of something."

Poor Anita looked terrified in her helmet. "Hang on," the Doctor said while pushing a few buttons before sonicing her visor, making the inside completely dark. "That should help."

River gasped. "Have they already gotten inside?"

"No, I'm just trying to trick them. So they think that some of them are already in." He turned to River. "I have two questions for you. One, how can we have a moon in the library?"

Lux pushed forward, pleased to finally contribute to something. "The moon is artificial, so is the sun. It's a Doctor Moon, a virus checker. It supports and maintains the main computer at the core of the planet."

The Doctor frowned while holding the sonic up in the air. "Well it's still active. It's signalling. Look." He demonstrated his point as the sonic buzzed rapidly. "Someone somewhere in this library is alive and communicating with the moon. I'm blocking it, but it's trying to break through." As he moved just a bit, an image of Donna appeared briefly before disappearing again.

Rose jumped on the image but it was too late, she was already gone. "Oh my god, Doctor, it was Donna! She is alive!" She never felt so relieved in her life.

"That was her," River excitedly agreed while gripping Rose's shoulder without realising it. "That was Donna! Can you get her back?" She seemed so eager to help, and so genuine in her feelings that Rose could not help but like her anyway, despite everything the Doctor told her. She had not felt any sense of romanticism at all between them, or anyone else for that matter but she could not really fight destiny. Or the future in their case. The only good thing she could take from it, was the fact they would visibly save the universe one day. So she smiled to River, and buried the sadness deep inside her. Now was not the moment to mourn the "what if".

She would do so later when she would be alone in her room.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on." He moved around, waving his arms around like a maniac. "I'm trying to find the wavelength." But the buzzing soon died down, even with him jumping in the air. "Argh, I'm being blocked."

"You said two questions, Doctor," River said suddenly, remembering what he said earlier. "You only asked me one."

The Doctor nodded and motioned for them to come closer. River and Rose exchanged a look before approaching, making sure they were the only one to hear him.

"Second question. You said earlier that there are six people still alive in this room." They both nodded, not really sure where he wanted to go with this. "So, why are there seven?"

And as if it had waited for his cue, one of the suits jumped back and started to jerk around. "Hey, who turned out the lights?"

"Run!" screamed the Doctor before taking off in one of the illuminated corridors, the rest of the crew hot on his heels.

They had been running for a few minutes, their sides aching with the burning of the race when suddenly the Doctor stopped dead on his tracks, forcing the rest of them to do the same. As they were all trying to catch their breath, he turned around, his face grave and serious.

"Professor, Rose, I want you to go ahead. Find a safe spot until I get back."

"It's a carnivorous swarm in a suit," River argued, realizing what he wanted to do. "You can't reason with it."

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" continued Rose, also picking up on his intention. "The wrong move and would be a pile of bones in a corner. Can you even regenerate from that?"

"You've done dumb things in my time, but I have to say this one is in the top ten," River said while crossing her arms. "No wait, top 15." She turned to Rose with a smirk. "I forgot that time when he wanted you to try Hakarl when we visited Iceland with…" She closed her mouth as suddenly as she opened it. "Forget it, not important." She turned to the Doctor again, trying her best to not look at a disbelieved Rose. "Still, it's a dumb idea."

"Five minutes," came the Doctor's response as the sound of the swarm was growing stronger and stronger in the distance.

"Fine. Dave, stay with him. Pull him out before he doesn't something extremely stupid."

But before Dave could do anything, Rose moved forward, planting herself right in front of the Doctor. "No. If you think I'll let you go without me then think again."

"Rose…" the Doctor tried to plead with Rose. "I need you to go with them."

Rose stared defiantly at him, "Unless you find a way to lock me up in a cupboard somewhere, I will follow you. You said it yourself, we are Rose and the Doctor, the stuff of legend. If I'm not here to save your sorry arse, who will do it for you?"

"Well, she has a point you know," River said with a faint smile on her face. "And I know what I'm talking about…"

"Fine, the rest of you, go. Right now!" As they disappeared around the corner, his attention stretched to Rose once again. "You can die you know! You may be linked to the TARDIS, but that doesn't mean you cannot die!" His words were harsh but the desperation was clear on his face. He could not lose her again, not this soon, and certainly not like this.

"And you can regenerate, but that doesn't mean it's always possible!" she responded just as violently. "I've seen Miss Evengelista die, Doctor. It took only a few seconds! And then she was nothing! Do you really think you can come back from that?" She would lose him one day. It was visibly written in the stars but until then, she would fight for him, even if that meant against him and the whole bloody universe.

Before he could say anything, the body that was once Dave barged through the doors.

"Hey, who turned out the lights?"

The Doctor pushed Rose behind him, more as an unconscious gesture than anything else, and took a step up. "You hear that? Those words? That is the very last thought of the man who wore that suit before you climbed inside and stripped his flesh. That's a man's soul trapped inside a neural relay, going round and round forever. Now, if you don't have the decency to let him go, how about this? Use him. Talk to me. It's easy. Neural relay. Just point and think. Use him, talk to me."

"Hey, who turned out the lights?" the slightly robotic voice that was once Dave repeated.

"The Vashta Nerada live on all the worlds in this system, but you hunt in forests. What are you doing in a library?"

The Doctor was too focused on Dave to see the shadow moving on them, but Rose was doing her best to divert the attention to herself while jumping around, trying her best not to cross them. "Doctor! Hurry, they are moving fast!"

He glanced quickly at her. "I just need a minute." Then he turned back to the suit. "You came to the library to hunt. Why? Just tell me why?"

"We did not," replied The Vashta Nerada in Dave's voice.

The Doctor smiled broadly. "Oh, hello! Did not what?"

As the Doctor and the Vashta were starting to converse, Rose had the sudden deja vu of her gymnastic competitions. She had to keep jumping and lunging around so to not cross any of the shadows that kept on moving around her. "Doctor, I think we're running out of time!" she screamed at him, she would give 30s more before she would grab him and run for their lives. Because for the moment they were focused on her, but with the Doctor so distracted - he was a really easy prey.

"You're not in a forest, you're in a library," the Doctor continued to try and reason with the Vashta as if he didn't hear her, or see her do somersault in the background. "There are no trees in a...library… Oh. Books!" He turned around, smiling to Rose like crazy. "They came in the books. Microspores in a million, million books!"

"Yeah… Great," Rose said, now perched on a chair like it was a normal occurrence, shadows swarming their only escape. "Now if you please, because I really don't want to be finished like a sunday roast." Her voice was so thick with sarcasm, you could drown in it.

He smiled at her, a bit embarrassed by the fact he had been carried away by his own thoughts. "Sorry, I talk too much. Always babbling on. This gob doesn't stop for anything. But you know one thing that keeps me alive, Rose? Always stay near the door." And without warning, he grabbed Rose in one hand and with the other opened a trapdoor with his sonic screwdriver. A blinding smile was all the warning he gave to her before dropping them through it. The last thing the Vashta Nerada heard before complete silence was the scream of a very pissed off Rose Tyler.

When they get back in the TARDIS, she's gonna murder him - like really really slowly. Or force him to only have a cold shower and bland tea for the next hundred years. She had still not decided, but whatever she decided she would make him pay. That's all she could think about as they were hanging on a strut support, and moving as slow as a snail after a fall that almost gave her a heart attack.

"Can you go faster? I'm not getting younger over here, and I'm starting to get tired!" Rose called out as she tried her best to not look down. She was not afraid of heights, but that didn't mean she was glad to strutter around a certain death.

As the Doctor had his sonic clenched in his mouth still, he could only grumble in response.

"You saved us?" she said with astonishment. 'Are you kidding? If the almighty didn't decide to discuss with a killer swarm we wouldn't be hanging around like freaking bats!" Yeah she would kill him, and once she told Donna what happened, she was sure the redhead would help.

He grumbled again, this time with what she supposed to be a placating look.

"Well of course I had a better idea! Go through the door first. And what's with you and jumping into holes as a means to escape? New New York didn't suffice? You had to do it again for old time sake?" It has been more than forty years but she never forgot the feeling of that moment. And weirdly enough she was not really overjoyed to relieve it again.

He grunted something that made her roll her eyes so hard they almost got stuck. "No, it was not fun and thrilling. You know you are an adrenaline junkie right?" Rose couldn't help but say the last few words with more affection that she wanted. Because she was one to talk, even before the other universe she was the first to jump into a dangerous situation. If he was an adrenaline junkie, when he has the possibility to regenerate, what does that make of her?

Her thoughts were derailed by his triumphant shout. They had finally reached one of the big windows, and he had been able to open one of them with the sonic. After a few more grunts, tumbling and some contortion, they were finally back to solid ground.

"Oh my god, never do that to me again!" Rose shouted while hitting his shoulder repeatedly, making him yelp more in surprise than pain, before hugging him with all she had. After a second of surprise on his end he returned it, embracing her with force, showing she was not the only one to have been frightened to lose the other. She swallowed a sob and buried her head on his neck at all the sensations she could feel with him against her. She loved him so much, it was almost frightening, but he was not hers to keep. Maybe for now, but not for long. And that was breaking her heart so bad, she was not sure she could ever recover.

"I'm sorry Rose," he whispered in her hair. "I was so focused on getting us out of here, I didn't think of anything else. And then it was too late."

She took a step back, a weak and brave smile on her face. She was already in too deep, but that doesn't mean she couldn't try. "That's ok. At least we are alive to tell the tale. Now we need to find the others. Any ideas?"

He wanted to say so many things to her. How much he loved her. How his hearts were broken to see the pain in her eyes, and how sad he was to know she was hiding things from him since River's revelation. How nothing in the known or unknown universe would stop him from loving her until his very last breath, and that she was part of his soul like the Time schism was part of his very essence. River saying a part of his name would not change the fact that his hearts, and everything in him was yearning for Rose Tyler. He had not lied when he said he was born loving her, and would die loving her as fiercely as the day he took his first breath, because she was absolutely everything to him. But he could not say any of that. Not now. Not ever. Because he was apparently too late. Their story was already written in the stars, and he would have no part in it. Not at the beginning, but soon… One day soon, she will leave and take his hearts with her.

But instead of saying all of that, he smiled and shrugged. "We can still search for human life in the repertory."