All characters belong to Sega/Archie except my OCs.

Chapter 30

In the morning, I regretted my decision to go back to school. My muscles were still weak from the sleeping pills, and my head was throbbing. My stomach ached from the bad decision to skip dinner. I was in no condition to go to school. If I'd still been at home, my mom would've let me skip. My mom might've noticed the absence of my blasting morning playlist or the empty seat at the table. She might've popped her head in the doorway and asked if I was alright.

She might have sat down next to me on the bed and checked my temperature with the back of her hand. If she didn't feel a fever, she might ask about my stomach.

"Does it hurt? Do you feel nauseous?" She'd ask, warm drops of honey replacing the usual razors in her voice.

Depending on my answer, she'd frown and rub my temple. She'd give me permission to stay home. To rest and take the time I needed to feel better.

"Just remember to talk to your teachers tomorrow about the work you'll miss," she'd insist before exiting the room. "You don't want to mess up your perfect GPA."

Our little illness encounters hadn't occurred in years. The last time she'd sincerely come in to check on me was during the first quarter of sophomore year. The morning after they'd brought me home from the hospital. The night before, they gave me some heavy pain medicine to help with the pain on my wrists. If my father had his way, he would've shoved some antidepressants down my throat too.

I remember she sat down on my bed and rubbed my shoulder. "Are you able to go to school?" She asked in a quiet tone - one I'd never heard before.

"No," I mumbled into my pillow.

"But you've already missed so many assignments."

"I don't care," I'd snapped. "Leave me alone."

"But, Sonic -"

"I don't care about my fucking GPA right now!" I yanked the pillow from underneath me and held it over my head. "Just go away!"

My mother remained on my bed for a few moments, unsure of what to say next.

A part of me was waiting for her to express regret about sending me away to conversion camp. To hold me close and apologize for all the damage it's caused. To tell me she loved me and she accepted me - for both my talents and flaws.

But she didn't.

Instead of giving me the consolation I needed, she stood up and walked out the door. Afterwards, she didn't bother coming in to check on me anymore.

Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed and dressed for school. Tying the wool noose around my neck, I lifted my mask up to my face. In the mirror, the effects of the blows it'd taken over the past few years were evident. The charismatic color in the cheeks were faded, cracks rippled through the smile, and dirt wore over the confidence facade. Wearing the mask looked worse than leaving it off. At least in its absence, I could own my exhaustion.

Sighing, I dropped the fake persona. I allowed the person hiding underneath to show his face.

He looked worse off than the mask, with a clear frown and weariness clouding over his eyes. But the weight on his chest was almost non-existent. There were no expectations to live up to, no guidelines to follow, no charisma to energize. He was simply existing, aiming to skate through the day and return home to bed.

Maybe one day he'd have more of a purpose. But, not today.

As expected, I was met with furtive stares and sneaky whispers from my peers in school. Their words spread around my head like wildfire.

Sonic Crawford is back in school.

This is the first time he's ever been suspended.

Suspended? This is the first time he's ever gotten in trouble!

Did you see those pictures that Justin sent out?

I didn't know he was gay.

He can't be gay – he was dating me, for God's sake!

Can you believe he's dating that Latino kid? The one who was expelled from his old district for fighting?

Well, from the way he beat the shit out of Justin, it sounds like they're a perfect match.

I ignored the comments as best as I could. None of them were extremely malicious or condescending, so that made it a bit easier. Still, the unwanted attention made the bugs underneath my skin crawl.

At lunch, I sat at a table farthest away from the masses. The usual chatter bouncing around the cafeteria added fuel to my already raging headache. I'd already collected more make-up work than I could handle – and it was only the middle of the day. The chaotic neurons in my brain had a field day trying to figure out how I'd manage to complete all of it by the following Monday.

I glanced up at the sound of whispers a few feet away. My eyes caught a group of freshmen nearby, huddling together and staring at me like a lion in a cage.

Gritting my teeth, I folded my arms on the table and lay my head down. I blocked out the buzz of conversation around me, trying to find one quiet spot in my brain. Consuming a huge breath, I began to count.

One, two, three…

Slowly, I exhaled and counted backwards.

Ten, nine, eight…

A gentle hand placed itself on my shoulder, jolting me out of my breathing exercise.

Grudgingly, I tilted my head and peered into my best friend's concerned blue eyes.

"Hey," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I'm fine."

He took a seat in the chair beside me. "Where the hell have you been? Donnie said you left, but he didn't know where you went."

"I went to one of my dad's apartments near the city," I explained. "I hid out there for a few days."

"Why did you go there of all places? How come you weren't answering anyone's calls? We were all worried sick about you!"

"I'm fine," I insisted. "I just...I needed a few days to clear my head after the fight."

"Clear your head about busting Justin's face in? Really? You shouldn't be beating yourself up over that! Justin had that ass whooping coming for months now." He pulled his chair in closer and lowered his voice. "Come on, what were you really hiding for? Because of those bogus pictures?"

I sighed, averting my gaze. "It's more complicated than that."

He tilted his head. "So, the pictures weren't bogus…? Those were real?"

"Yeah," I murmured.

Tails' brows came together. "Really? So, you and Shadow?"

I nodded. "For a few months now."

"Oh." His voice grew small. "How long...how long have you been into guys, then?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Somewhere around the 8th grade, I guess. Whenever the hormones and shit started."

"And you didn't tell me?" He asked sadly. "I mean, I know you can't take me seriously sometimes, but you know I wouldn't have judged you for it."

"I know. I just...I didn't want to talk about it." I kicked his chair. "Besides, with your happy ass, I knew you'd automatically assume I had a crush on you."

He scoffed. "You don't? I mean, look at me!" He held out his arms and waved his blonde hair. "I'm a catch!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're not my type."

He smiled. "Right. Your type, right now, is Latinx with pretty eyes and curly hair - no rack though. Does washboard abs substitute for that? Cause Shadow looks like he might have some of those."

I kicked his chair again. "Shut up. Don't worry what's under my boyfriend's shirt."

"Right. Sorry, that's your job." He paused. "A job you might be fired from, may I add. You know he's pissed, right?"

"I know," I whispered.

"Have you spoken to him yet?"

"No."

His brows rose. "Don't you guys have English together? You're just going to waltz in after dropping off the face of the earth for a few days and pretend as if nothing happened?"

"Pretty much," I admitted.

"And what reaction are you hoping for? Because I bet he's gonna punch you in the face."

My stomach rolled at the probability of the thought. I'd never seen Shadow truly angry, but after what I put him through, I wouldn't be surprised if he did hit me. Hell, I wished I could punch myself in the face. In the moment, swallowing all of those pills didn't seem like a bad idea. I wasn't thinking about the people I loved or the hurt I'd leave behind. All I could think about was the peace waiting ahead of me. Little did I know the peace would never come.

Now, I have bigger storms in my wake.

The only saving grace was that Donnie and Tails accepted me. Now, I only hoped that Shadow could forgive me.

By the time I arrived to eighth period, Shadow was already at our table. His earbuds were tucked into his ears, and he was doodling away in his notebook. He glanced up at me when he noticed my figure passing by.

Up close, I noticed the dark bags under his eyes and the red rimming his pupils. I forced a small smile at him. "Hey," I said.

The muscle in his jaw bounced as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. His beautiful green eyes transformed into daggers, stabbing relentless jabs into my soul.

Mrs. Ryan began her lesson before he could utter a word.

From the corner of my eye, I watched Shadow throughout the class period. The soft beats of his earbuds never paused, but they seemed low enough that he could hear Mrs. Ryan and take notes. In between the literary terms, he doodled angry sugar skulls and wailing ghosts. The anger raging through his veins radiated off his body in heated flames. All I could do was sit helplessly as they burned me. With everything I'd put him through, I knew I deserved it.

At the end of class, he didn't even bother shoving his notebook into his backpack. He picked up his belongings and stomped out the door.

Clumsily, I scooped up my own books and tried to rush after him. But, Mrs. Ryan stood in my way. She started babbling away about the reading material I'd missed and the assignments I needed to make up if I wanted to keep my perfect grade.

I was barely listening. I could only stare at Shadow's head of tousled curls being consumed by the chaos in the crowded hallway.

When Mrs. Ryan finally let me leave, it was time to pick up Donnie. I didn't have time to search for Shadow. I'm pretty sure he had work, anyway. I'd just have to speak to him later.

I underestimated how long "later" would take. Although I enjoyed spending time with Donnie in the library, I couldn't ignore the bundles of nerves rustling around in my stomach.

I knew Shadow would be upset. I knew he was going to hate me. I knew this conversation wasn't going to be pleasant. But, I needed to see him. I needed to hold him and kiss him and assure him I was okay. But I feared he wouldn't let me.

Once I'd dropped Donnie off, I headed down to the garage where Shadow worked. Glancing at the clock when I pulled in, I noticed it was about 6 o' clock – the usual time I pick him up.

As if on cue, Shadow exited the front doors of the waiting lobby with his hood over his head and his hands fiddling with his phone.

Quickly, I hopped out of my car and closed some of the distance between us. "Hey!" I shouted loud enough that he'd hear me over his headphones.

His gaze shifted from his music selection to my approaching figure. The fire that erupted in his eyes nearly stopped me in my tracks.

"Hey," I said more softly. "Can we talk?"

"Oh, now you want to talk?" He scoffed. "It's not like I called you ten million times."

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Let's just...let's go someplace quiet, okay?"

He stared at me, his peridot eyes scrutinizing the anxious thoughts behind my eyes. "Why? What's wrong?"

"We should just talk somewhere...more private." I reached for his hand, cautiously wrapping my fingers around his palm. "Please."

His gaze drifted to our intertwined hands. "Yeah. Okay."

Silence lingered throughout the car ride towards Shadow's house. My boyfriend kept his eyes on the world passing by outside. His earbuds remained nestled in his earlobes, blasting soft beats. The frustration in his eyes faded, and weariness replaced it. The bags under his eyes became more prominent, and his eyelids threatened to hang lower and lower every minute.

"If you're tired, we can talk tomorrow," I stated as we pulled up in his uncle's driveway.

"No," he said firmly. He opened the car door. "Come on."

Sighing, I followed him into the empty house. "Are you hungry? I can run back out and grab you something to eat."

"I have some microwaveable stuff in the fridge. I'll eat later." He nodded towards the steps. "Let's go upstairs."

His room somehow looked worse than the other few times I'd been in there. His clothes were hanging out of the drawers. A few tee shirts lay wrinkled on the floor. The sheets and comforter on his bed were thrown carelessly on either side of the mattress. Water and soda bottles littered the tops of his dressers. Papers from school assignments were scattered over his desk.

I could only raise an eyebrow at the mess. "How long has it been since we last cleaned your room? Like two weeks? Dude, seriously?"

He slammed the door shut behind him. "Where were you?" He demanded. "Why weren't you answering my calls?"

I turned around to meet his fiery gaze. "Shadow -"

"Don't you dare lie to me."

I opened and closed my mouth, searching for the right words to say. "My...my parents kicked me out."

"I know," he said, the fire in his eyes dimming. "Donnie told me the bullshit that your parents tried to feed him." He walked closer to me. "That's why I was calling so much. I was worried sick about you. I know how afraid you were to face them...and I couldn't imagine how tough that conversation must've been."

"Yeah, they, uh...my mom told me that they weren't legally obligated to keep me under their roof anymore." The words tasted sour on my lips. I couldn't believe my mom was able to utter them without grimacing. "But my school tuition is paid, my car title is in my name, there's more than enough money in my bank account, and they gave me a new place to stay. In their minds, giving me those luxuries justified disowning me."

"Nothing justifies kicking your child to the curb." He tilted his head. "Is that where you've been the last few days? Hiding out in your new apartment?"

I looked down, debating between the truth or the lie I'd told Tails. Did Shadow really need to know what I'd done? Telling him would only hurt him. I could imagine the anger rising in his eyes at the mention of the sleeping pills - followed by the tears from my intentions of taking them. I couldn't do that to him. I'd already disappointed him by ignoring all of his calls. I didn't want to burden him with the thought of almost losing me. Not after already losing someone else to the same intentions.

"Yeah," I lied. The simple word burned coming out of my mouth. "I just needed to clear my head."

He narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "Alone?"

"Yeah. I...I saw how crazy I drove you last week, and I...I didn't want to burden you with that responsibility again."

"You're an idiot," he stated. "Making sure you don't have a mental breakdown isn't a burden, Sonic. I'm your boyfriend; that's what I'm supposed to do." His arms looped around my waist, pulling me against him. "My job is to take care of you - to make you happy. Why do you make it so complicated for me to do that?"

I shrugged. "Because I'm a pain in the ass."

A smile briefly graced his lips. Instantly, it was replaced with a concerned frown. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes." I leaned into him, burying my face into his neck. "I'm fine. Better now that you're here."

He rubbed my back. "Have you eaten today?"

"No," I said. "I'm not really hungry.

"I don't care. You need to eat." He shuffled us towards the bed. "Lay down. Relax. I'll make you some bagel bites."

Mentally, I was too exhausted to argue. I sat down on his bed and watched him disappear behind the door. I listened to his footsteps pad down the steps. Sighing, I turned my attention to my backpack, remembering the load of makeup work sitting in it. While I would've loved nothing more than to lay down and pretend I hadn't just fucked up the trust in my relationship, getting a move on those assignments was a much wiser choice.

Sighing, I tugged out my AP Calculus materials and began working on the small mountain of worksheets. The repetitive steps of the problems allowed my brain to keep busy without delving too deep into thought. With every problem, my true self slipped further and further to the back of my brain. In a few moments, the autopilot function I thought I was ready to retire was running again. But this time, I couldn't blame myself too much. Calc was easy, methodic and boring. It wasn't like I was missing anything.

Shadow peered over my work when he returned with the tiny steaming pizza treats. "What the fuck is that?" He asked.

"I'm finding the volume of these solids using the washer method," I explained. "It's not hard, actually, all you have to do is -"

"Nope. No need to explain. Me and my three brain cells can barely survive the three functions in Trig."

I almost laughed. "I loved Sine, Cosine, and Tangent. It's so easy!"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "You're a fucking nerd." He plopped down next to me on the bed. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

The two of us sat quietly for the rest of the night, minding our own activities. We ended up hanging out in the living room. I sat on the floor with my math work spread around me. Shadow lounged on the couch, alternating between playing the PS4 or scrolling through social media on his phone. The silence was comforting. Thankfully my brief disappearance hadn't changed anything - for now at least.

A few times I caught Shadow staring at me, his lips pulled into a frown. Questions lingered behind his beautiful ruby eyes, but they never left his lips. Perhaps he didn't want to know where I really was or how I'd actually coped with being thrown out. Maybe he agreed with the same reasons I had for not telling him. It was better if he didn't know. And I sincerely hoped he'd never find out.

I struggled writing this chapter. I toyed with so many different directions their conversation could've taken. But I hope you all enjoyed the one I chose!