The Long Game

Part 30

Author's Note: So, here we go-Tom. Set during Vanessa Cruz (right after Reddington kicks Tom out and before the start the case in the AM at the Post Office). It's a short-ish one.

If you have not checked out my other 2 WIPs please take a look at Agnes and Ressler, Listen to Me.

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Liz walked into their apartment in Baltimore at 5am, she had been unable to sleep after everything had happened recently. Tom being out there in the world, helping her, calling her…and showing up at her place on her birthday saying he had nowhere to go and asking for his passports.

She didn't know what to do. She wanted him to leave, and she really didn't want to ever see him again. Ever. But, she also didn't want him dead after what he had done for her. He had saved her.

"Don't move," his voice said in the dark.

"Tom?" Liz asked, her heart in her throat.

"Liz?" Tom asked. She heard him walking toward her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Liz demanded.

She heard him sigh.

Liz reached for a light and felt his hand clasp around her wrist.

"What the hell?!" Liz said as she pulled from him.

"No lights, it will blow your cover to have a man here other than your 'husband'" Tom said.

"How do you know this is our place?" Liz asked.

"I followed you and Don once," Tom said. "You are very convincing as a couple in love."

"Fuck you," Liz said. She hated that they were in the dark and she couldn't see him.

"Just saying," Tom said with a sigh. "I'm not the only one who can act. Not that I think he's acting…"

"Get out," Liz said with venom.

"A little too close to home Lizzie?" Tom asked. "You know he's in love with you, right?"

Liz gritted her teeth.

"But with rehab he…"

"What the hell? Are you investigating Ressler?!"

"I like to know my competition," Tom said and she could sense that he winked at her. "You know part of the twelve steps is not starting any new relationships, right Liz? You could destroy him."

"Get the fuck out of here," Liz said clearly.

They stood in silence for a long time.

"You've slept with him," Tom said as if it was an answer, not a question.

Liz said nothing.

"Liz, I want…"

"I am done with what you want," Liz said, tears breaching her eyes. "I am soo tired with what YOU want Tom!"

"Jacob," Tom said softly.

Liz shook her head.

"Get out," she said softly.

She felt him step toward her and her hands came up.

"What are you doing here at 5am?" Tom asked.

Liz sighed.

"I forgot something," Liz said.

"What?" Tom asked.

She didn't want to admit what it was. Truthfully, she had forgotten the bracelet he gave her and, in her muddled thoughts after he left, she knew she needed that bracelet, desperately. Some remnant of the relationship that once was. Something to prove that there was a relationship that was significant in her 31 years on this planet.

"My toothbrush," she lied.

Tom chuckled. He knew she was lying.

"I did love you Liz," Tom said. "I got into this as a job, and I stayed for love. It was real for me."

"How convenient," Liz said, her voice cracking as she wiped at her eyes.

"And you loved me," Tom said. "Possibly still love me. And it was real for you, Liz."

She opened her mouth to protest and then shut it. She did. She still loved him. How fucked up was that? Her mind went to the conversation she had with Reddington about being drawn to the darker side of herself. She felt that with Tom. Why was she continually drawn to him?

She felt Tom lean in close and she could have pulled away, slapped him, pushed him, done anything but what she did. She kissed him.

On the day after her 31st birthday she kissed her ex-husband in the dark in the apartment that she shared with the other man she loved. The man who brought her dinner for her birthday. The man she shared the special bottle of wine with. The man who made her laugh. The man who was the most important person in her life. And she kissed Tom.

Liz pulled back as the kiss deepened and when he leaned in to kiss her again, she put a hand on his chest and pushed him back.

"Get out," she said. There was no debating her intent.

She felt him walk past her and the door opened, then it shut.

Liz leaned her back against the wall, it was the only thing keeping her upright. Liz closed her eyes. Who was she? Who was this woman who kissed a man, a fucking spy, in the apartment she shared with another man, a man she loved?

Liz started to cry. Tom was right about one thing, she was going to destroy Ressler. She was going to mess up the life of a perfectly normal and good man with these dark instincts she had. Liz sunk down to the floor and balled herself up as small as possible.

To be continued…