There is no greater challenge than to face oneself. Even the wisest of individuals have spent countless years burying their innerselves in layers of facades. They've deprived it of the light, allowing it to fester and mutate into a hideous beast. Eventually, however, they do face it, for all must face their inner demons at one point or another in their lives, what they find is an unrecognisable, malformed creature. That is one's inner self.
Obi-Wan was no exception, as, basked in the heat of the Mandalorian Fire, he stood before the very monster he feared to become. Terror gripped at him, urging him to turn back, run and leave this monster to the shadows where it belonged. However, although the young Padawan was tempted to flee to the safety of the real world, he stood his ground, his resolve hardening as the apparition looked at him, its yellow tinged eyes looking at him with a predator's focus. It took a slow, tentative step over the corpse that was Satine's and yet was not. The real Satine- his Satine, was sleeping under his hands, even in this hellscape, the echo of her skin against his own could still be felt.
The apparition prowled forward, the crimson blade being slowly dragged behind him leaving, in its wake, a path of bleeding rock. It hummed as it caressed the ground, the only sound to be heard over the roaring flames. The closer the apparition approached, the more contorted it appeared. Although the face was undoubtedly Obi-Wan's, it held none of his handsome features. Although they shared the same face, dark marks surrounded its discoloured eyes. Its skin, even in the flame, was given an almost waxy tinge. The closer the apparition got to the real Obi-Wan, the stronger the urge to flea grew within, the bloodlust emitted by the apparition was almost palpable.
And still Obi-Wan stood his ground.
The apparition snarled a wicked grin as if amused at the thought that its prey could put on a facade of bravery before it. Still grinning evilly, the apparition slowly raised its lightsaber over its head, savouring the hunt. It held it there, allowing its glow to coat Obi-Wan's face in its crimson light. The monster stood like that for a moment, its body ready to strike, wishing to savour each moment of Obi-Wan's fear to the fullest. And Obi-Wan was frightened. His mind urged him to run, to escape, to leave this cursed place. But Obi-Wan did not move, he did not even flinch. Not even as the blade swung down, the Padawan simply looked on, refusing to look away from the monster that lay within himself.
And then it was gone.
As simple as that.
The monster did not vanish, for Obi-Wan doubted it ever would. He had accepted that inevitability but, instead of allowing it to plague him, to allow its fear to consume him, he simply accepted it. With the disappearance of the apparition, the Mandalorian fire around Obi-Wan shifted from green to a calming amber before erupting. However, instead of feeling its stinging burn, a soft comforting warmth washed over him, like the embrace of a friend long separated, for that was what the Force was to the Padawan, a constant companion since the day of his birth and that would stand beside him until his final breath.
Obi-Wan was astonished he had not noticed the void the separation had caused until the barrier that had hindered his progress had dissipated. It felt as if a piece he hadn't known he'd lost had been returned to him.
A relieved breath left his lips as he opened his eyes back in the world of reality, feeling whole once again. However, the sharp contrast of Satine's chill body simply reminded the Padawan that he still had a job to do, one he wasn't sure he could do. Still kneeling over Satine, Obi-Wan concentrated on the palms of his hands, allowing the Force to concentrate on the areas his skin touched Satine's. Lie Ren had explained that to aid her, he had to give her some of his Force, but how could he do that?
As Obi-Wan continued to allow the Force to build up in his hands he slowly and gently tried to push it towards her, urging Satine to accept the Force to aid heal her wounds. However, as the Force continued to slowly build, Satine's serene face suddenly contorted in pain and Obi-Wan bounced to his feet, clenching his hands.
"You're surprisingly gentle for a warrior." A now familiar voice wafted across the room, old and hoarse and cracking like the sound of freshly trampled on leaves. Jem'ah was standing at the hut entrance, a bowl of lightly steaming liquid in her hands, her silhouette a dark contrast to the night outside. Even through the thick canopy of the forest, which promoted the use of torches throughout the day, the darkness that filed through its leaves at night was different, deeper and more silent.
"I-I was trying to heal her." The Padawan explained, not oblivious to the fact of how it must have looked with him leaning over an unconscious woman with a hand on his chest.
"I know." Jem'ah replied tartly, as if offended Obi-Wan had assumed she'd thought otherwise. Jem'ah was a peculiar woman, like the rest of the Miraluka her eyes were covered but her long silverish blond hair had streaks of dark green ivy braided into it, pulled back to reveal the first lines of age upon her pale skin. A single, thin scar ran from her temple to her chin. Her physique was not one of a healer, not petite but rather she appeared quite bulky, as if she spent long hours carrying heavy loads. "But if you were being any rougher you could have broken one of her ribs." The woman continued to explain as she walked towards Satine, and sat across from where Obi-Wan stood. She placed the small bowl on her side and looked up at the Padawan expectedly. "Well? What are you waiting for? Sit back down. How do you expect to learn by gawking and flailing your hands like that?"
Obi-Wan wanted to counter that he was neither gawking nor flailing but instead hastily knelt to the ground as he had been before. Jem'ah's tone implied she was not the type to accept a comment without biting back. The Miraluka waved a single hand above Satine's body and Obi-Wan once again placed a hand on her forehead and chest, feeling far more self-conscious then when he had been trying alone.
"She is not some rock or wall you are using the Anima- Force- whatever- to push away. The way you were doing it? You were pressuring her body to accept your help. You could have crushed her body against the ground if you had continued for much longer. "
"That wasn't my intention!" Obi-Wan sighed through gritted teeth, if Jem'ah hadn't stopped him when she had, he could have made things a lot worse for Satine.
"I know." The woman answered, more softly. "But this time allow the Anima to wash over her."
Clenching his jaw in concentration, Obi-Wan tried to do as Jem'ah explained, imagining it the same way he used to use the Force to lift or deflect distant objects. Once again Obi-Wan felt the Force build in his palms but he allowed it to spread across Satine's body. A splash of warm water on his face broke his concentration, causing him to gasp and look back up at Jem'ah who was casually drying her fingers in her shirt.
"And that is how you crush her from the sides." She blatantly explained.
"Then could you show me how?" Obi-Wan countered, irritated. It had been a very long day, with a lot of lessons and soul searching and he wasn't in the mood to be splashed in the face like some disobedient pup.
"I will let you feel the difference." Jem'ah finally explained, leaning forward and placing her hand over Obi-Wan's. Her long, slender hands like nets over his own. "Conjure your Force in your hands, like you've been doing."
Without hesitation Obi-Wan did as he was told and, with a skill fine-tuned over years of practice, Jem'ah instantly reacted to the change, wielding the Force Obi-Wan had conjured. Rather then forming a layer over Satine's body, it felt almost like a soft mist, so fine Obi-Wan could barely sense it but, as the mist spread across Satine's body, it slowly vanished within her being. She accepted it without delay, much like a sponge would, as if Obi-Wan's Force was filling the gaps in Satine's. A soft sigh escaped the sleeping woman, and, for a few moments Satine's cold skin felt almost normal to the touch.
Jem'ah, pleased with the duchess's reaction, released her hold over Obi-Wan's hands and, for a few more seconds, the Padawan was able to maintain the mist, healing Satine a little more, before it dissipated. He suddenly felt exhausted at the effort.
"That alone may have shortened her recovery by quite a few days." Jem'ah explained, placing both her hands into the bowl and retrieving a white rag. Straining it from excess water, she placed it on Satine's forehead. "However, be warned, any more would kill any untrained hand and, the more mortal the injury, the more likely the event. To spare a life, life must be given." The Miraluka finished, sitting back and watching Obi-Wan as he wearily looked at his palms, memorising the sensation of Force as, for the first time, he'd used it to heal.
"Thank you." He blurted out, his eyes wide as he looked at the older woman.
"Do not thank me." Jem'ah snapped, although not cruelly. "Such knowledge is not mine to own and hide. The Force is in all, afterall."
Obi-Wan simply nodded his head in silence, that would be just another lesson he'd learnt that day.
"Now rest." The healer commanded. "And no more brushing it off. You may be stubborn and not wish me to help you but your body will need rest now, unless you want to end up like your friend here."
Obi-Wan nodded his head once again, unable to shake off the tiredness that had now gripped him.
"Lie Ren has already prepared a place-"
"No." Obi-Wan hastily replied, "I appreciate it, but I'll stay by her side. I have to be here when she wakes up, it is my mission to keep her safe." He insisted, remembering how she had been there when he had awoken after the Scourge. He would stay by the duchess's side until she woke, keeping guard as best he could.
"Fine." Jem'ah said, though she didn't argue with the young man. She silently understood his feelings, even if he were still too young and daft to understand them himself. "Then I will bring some extra furs here." She concluded, standing but keeping the small bowl of water at Satine's side. Without another word she left, leaving the Padawan to his silent thoughts.
Thank you so much for reading! Giving our two heroes some rest for the time being after what they just endured- I think they deserve it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and feel free to drop a comment. Next update will be on Friday :D