Well that was a crazy long hiatus that I took, but I am back and I am sorry I left this story hanging for almost a year. I fully intend to finish it! Here goes. It may seem confusing at first, but stick with it. Here's two chapters for you. I hope you enjoy.
"Why won't they let me see her, Danny!" Jamie pleads as he makes another attempt to push past his brother, who is still blocking the only exit of the private waiting room the hospital opened up specifically for Commissioner Reagan's family. Danny hates that they're taking so long too, but he knows for everyone's sake, he has to keep Jamie inside that waiting room until the doctors come.
"You need to calm down," Danny says softly as he places his arms on Jamie's shoulders again and glances at Rachel and Detective Davis who are pacing the waiting room just as impatiently as his little brother is. He has no idea where his strength is coming from right now, but until the rest of his family gets there he is the only one Jamie has. He has to be strong for his kid brother. He has to make sure Jamie holds it together.
"I need to see my wife! Dammit, Danny, I need to see Eddie!" Jamie's voice cracks as he screams towards the door. They haven't been there that long, but every second that passes feels like an eternity to him. To all of them.
"You have to calm down," Danny says again.
"I'll calm down when they let me see Eddie. When I know she is going to be okay!" Jamie barks again, but this time his shoulders deflate as he looks into his brother's eyes. "I can't do this without her, Danny," Jamie says, his voice softer now and filled with fear.
"Jamie, listen to me. You have a baby now. You have to hold it together for your baby."
"I can't do this without Eddie," Jamie says, his voice cracking again.
"You may have to."
Danny hated that he had to say those words out loud to his little brother, after all, he knows exactly what Jamie is going through right now, and he wishes that the rest of his family would hurry up and get there. Danny called everyone 30 minutes earlier as he followed the ambulance to the hospital. Frank was on his way from 1PP but his detail was stuck in traffic. Cars were sent to pick up both Henry and Lena, and they left a message with the DA to get Erin out of court. Captain Espinoza was on his way, but right now, it was just Danny, Rachel, and Detective Davis, and Danny has to keep Jamie together.
"We're at the best hospital in Manhattan and the doctors are doing everything they can for her. Right now, what we do know is that your baby is going to be okay, because of you," Danny says as he reaches for Jamie's shoulders again. "If you hadn't found Eddie when you did, you may have lost them both."
"If I had found them sooner, I wouldn't have lost either of them," Jamie says as his head falls into the palms of his hands. He's on the brink of breaking down completely and no one can blame him.
"Listen," Danny says as he shakes Jamie's shoulders gently. "You haven't lost either of them yet. Eddie is a fighter. She's fighting in there for both of you, Jamie. She's fighting hard. You have to know that. You have to believe that. And right now, you have to hold it together because they're going to take you back to see your baby soon and you have to be strong." Danny has no idea where his words are coming from at this moment. He was in Jamie's shoes just a few years ago and he certainly didn't handle it any better than Jamie is right now, but his baby brother has a newborn baby now, who needs him. Danny knows the reality is that Jamie may have to do it without Eddie and he has to figure out how to help him get through this.
Danny guides Jamie to the seat in the middle of the room, past Rachel who has tear-stained cheeks herself, and glances back over his shoulder towards the door, praying that his father, sister, or grandfather will walk through because he's on the verge of breaking down himself. He has felt this feeling before and he hates that his brother is feeling it right now.
Jamie's body falls heavily into the chair, his elbows fall to his knees and his head falls into his bloodstained hands. His legs are bouncing nervously as he waits impatiently. Tears are dripping down his cheek again as reality continues to slap him in the face. He has always been optimistic. He has always focused on the best possible outcome and done everything he could to make it happen, but when he pulls his face away from his palms and sees his wife's dried blood on his hands again, he knows this one is out of his control. If he had only gone with her this morning...if he had gotten to her sooner...But now there is nothing he can do to change the outcome. His future, his fate, his wife's life, is in God's hands now and he says a silent prayer.
A few minutes pass, though it feels like hours to Jamie when the door to the waiting room swings open. Jamie looks up abruptly, hoping it was the doctor there to bring him the news he was holding on so tightly for, but it wasn't. It was his family though. Every single one of them, walking through the door together, Frank with his arms around Lena. There isn't a dry in the room as they wrap Jamie in a hug.
No one says a single word. They all know there is nothing they can say at this moment that is going to make things any better. They are all just there, and that is all they can do right now.
A long hour later the door swings open again. The doctor is met with every pair of eyes in the Reagan Family, and those of Eddie's mother, her partner, Detective Davis, and Captain Espinoza, all anxiously waiting for him to speak. Waiting for him to tell them their family member and friend is going to be okay. He has never felt so much weight on his shoulders as he does right now and offers a silent nod towards them.
"Sergeant Reagan," the doctor says firmly and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly as Jamie stands in front of him, followed by everyone else. "Your wife is alive," he adds. Jamie glances at Lena as she exhales the breath she had been holding since the doctor walked in and he searches for his own steady breath.
"But?" Jamie says nervously. He can read the expression of the man standing in front of him, the man who just spent over an hour with his wife, trying to save her life, and he can tell that the news he is going to deliver next isn't good.
"She's in a coma."
Jamie's hand covers his mouth to hide the quiver in his lips and Lena falls back into the chair as Frank reaches out to support her.
"What does that mean?" Danny asks. The doctor looks back and forth between Jamie, Danny, and the rest of the family before his eyes land back on Jamie's and he answers.
"She was without oxygen to her brain for a long time, you know that. But she is strong. She's a fighter. We can see that," the doctor says.
"What are you saying, doc?" Danny says again, growing impatient now and wanting more answers for his brother than what they are getting.
The doctor takes another deep breath as he continues. "The good news is that there is brain activity. But there is no way to know the extent of any damage until…" he pauses as he feels the weight of the eyes observing him again.
"Until she wakes up..." Jamie finishes for him.
"Yes."
"When will that be?" Erin speaks for the first time as Jamie shakes his head in fear. Her voice is firm as if she is going to force better news out of the doctor like she would pull the truth from a defendant. Jamie wishes it were that simple, but he knows the reality. It has been slapping him in the face for the last sixteen hours. Ever since Eddie went missing that morning after her appointment that he should have been at with her but wasn't. Ever since he found her in that warehouse, in premature labor.
"There's no way to know...but we're hopeful," the doctor responds with a faint smile.
"So, what now?" Jamie asks.
"Her condition is stable so we're going to move her to a private room soon. You can go back and see her now, but the rest of your family will need to wait until she is settled upstairs.
"What about the baby?" Jamie asks as he tries to stay strong in front of everyone while processing everything. Everyone knew the baby had been born earlier, and they had all already received the news that the newest member of the Reagan family was going to be okay, so for the last hour, the focus had been on Eddie.
"The NICU will bring your baby to Eddie's room when she's moved upstairs. Should be about a half-hour. Would you like to see your wife now?"
"Go, Jamie. We'll be right here." Frank says as Jamie looks back at Lena.
"Tell her I love her," Lena says as she watches Jamie walk away.
Jamie enters the triage bay where Eddie is. Somehow she looks at peace, despite the machines and monitors she is connected to; tubes and wires everywhere. He slides the curtain shut and slowly approaches her side. He reaches for her hand as he leans down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead and his eyes fill with tears again. He forces a very faint smile as he sits down next to her and wraps her hand in his. It was the hardest thing to do in that moment, because seeing his wife like that, his strong wife, the mother of his newborn baby, lying there, seemingly lifeless, all he wants to do is cry. Beg and Plead. Why Eddie? Why him? Hasn't he lost enough? But he knew it wouldn't make a difference. He has to be strong for her right now.
His smile fades quickly as reality sets in though. When Eddie doesn't open her eyes or squeeze his hand. She doesn't smile back. He wonders if she can hear him? Does she even know he is there? Somehow, he finds the strength to speak.
"Eddie. I'm here. I love you," he says softly as he rubs his thumb across the back of her hand. "You did good today. Your baby...our baby is going to be okay, but we need you to wake up, Eddie. I need you to wake up."