"Olivia…" a voice sounded from the foot of the front stoop as she was putting her apartment code in. She was struggling to carry Noah's school things and the supplies they had just bought to finish off his evolving art project

She knew who the voice belonged to before she looked up.

Noah looked over at him and back at his Mom who almost dropped the bag of supplies as it teetered from her last two finger, having a hard time pressing the right numbers in to the number pad.

"Here let me help…" Elliot said quickly, stepping in front of her, picking up the bag for her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him in a flat even tone, not even bothering to look at him.

"I just …" he stared back at her, begging her silently to meet his eyes, "I knew if you called you wouldn't let me come and talk to you." He paused, "I'm sorry if … it's out of line."

"I have a lot of things to do, Noah has a school assignment that needs finishing," she replied, shifting her black leather bag on to her shoulder.

She wasn't rude to him and he was glad for that, she remained matter-of-fact and serious. She glanced at him finally, holding on to the bag and went to take it from him, "thanks."

"Mom," Noah pushed the door open impatiently as it unlatched. Elliot glanced down at her son, getting a proper look at him for the first time. It struck him in an instant just how much he had missed in her life and the guilt hit him hard. He knew he didn't deserve Olivia's forgiveness and that her life was very different now to the what it was when they were partners.

"Give Mommy a second, sweetie…" she replied to him, glancing back at Elliot.

"It's heavvvvyyyy," he sighed, referring to his school bag.

"You better follow us up," she said with a sigh, relenting.

Elliot felt a crush of relief wash over him as he leaned over and spoke to her son, "here, why don't you let me take that for you…"

Noah eyed Elliot warily and then glanced at his Mom. "Mommy, Trevor is still coming over right?" he asked as he stared back at Elliot, almost as if he had picked up on something tense between her Mom and the stranger.

"Yes babe, don't worry, Trevor is still coming. This is Mom's friend from a long, long time ago… before you were born, it's okay he can help you with your bag."

Reluctantly, Noah handed over the bag to Elliot and the three of them climbed the stairs towards Liv's apartment.

Once upstairs, Olivia turned to her son. "Noah, this is Elliot…" she informed him as they set the bags down on the kitchen table. "Elliot helped me when I first became a police officer and we worked together for a very long time."

"Oh," he stared at the man who was now all but bald before him. Elliot smiled back. Seeing Olivia as a mother made his heart warm – it was bizarre but she wore motherhood well. He wasn't surprised about that. She turned back to Elliot, "This is Noah… Noah just had his sixth birthday in January…"

Elliot smiled at Liv, "Nice to meet you Noah…"

"Hello," he said a little shyly.

"Okay honey, why don't you go and get Mommy's ipad and you can play minecraft with your earphones in for half an hour, okay?"

"Can I play it in my room?" he asked hopefully, thinking that maybe he'd get away with it just this once with his Mom distracted by her friend.

"No, Noah, you know the rules, on the couch where I can see you. Earphones in," she added again, hating nothing more than the blaring of the game he loved to play.

"Okay, when will Trevor be here?" he wanted to know.

Elliot smiled; not because he was happy, but because he wanted to be okay with Olivia having a boyfriend that her son was obviously close to or at least fond of. He knew it wasn't his business and he had absolutely no right to care…. But he did.

"Soon, babe. He will be here straight from work, but you have to give him a minute, he's not going to be able to walk right in here and start helping you with your art piece, so don't annoy him."

"Okay," he sighed.

Olivia noticed Elliot's smile, watching the two interact despite the subject matter. "That's your son…" he murmured, shaking his head as if he never thought he'd see the day.

"That's my son," Olivia repeated with a smile. Even if she was annoyed with him or upset with him, she still couldn't discount the love that she felt for her son and her want for Elliot to know that she was really in a good place.

"I went to talk to you at work, everyone thought you were coming back on Monday."

She shrugged, "I just needed time," she admitted, "I've had a lot going on and wasn't able to be present enough for Noah, so I took the rest of the time given to catch up on sleep and spend time with my babe."

"Who, Trevor?" Elliot asked with amusement, almost teasing her and making a dig at her boyfriend.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "My son, Elliot." She motioned for him to take a seat. He was grateful for her giving him the time and he hoped not to fuck it up.

She took a seat too. "So… what do you want?" she asked him bluntly.

"I want to apologize for … so many things but …" he stared at her for a moment, letting his eyes linger over the face that had once felt so familial and so much like second nature.

He was trying to find the right words. In so many ways Olivia hadn't changed, but both of them had aged within the years that distanced them, but she still looked as beautiful as the day he left. "I think I just should start with the basics…"

Olivia considered what Trevor had said a few weeks back, about finding common ground rather than trying to reach the bottom of their problems. "Okay…"

"Let me start by saying that I'm sorry for disrespecting you and overstepping when it wasn't my business about Trevor, that was wrong of me, I had no right."

"Thanks," she said.

"And for the way I acted when we found Allegra Hewson… I didn't mean to be insensitive, I didn't really consider that it could be affecting you."

"That's okay," she replied.

"I hope it's not out of line to say and I hope that you won't get mad at me for saying it Liv, but I really did miss you."

She blinked at him slowly and shook her head with a shrug. "I wasn't the one who went anywhere…"

"I know. I had reasons but I don't think any of them are ever going to make up for how I left and to be honest, they're all just very selfish ones and I don't think you need to hear them right now."

"I don't," she confirmed, "because at first I was heart broken and then I got angry and then that anger twisted in to a ball of hatred that wound up inside of me so tightly that I had to do a lot of work to release it," she admitted, wanting him to know the mess he had left behind. "And now, Elliot? I feel indifference. I don't hate you anymore, I just don't wish for you to be in my orbit any longer."

Elliot visibly winced and Olivia felt bad, but not as bad as she had felt when he decided that she wasn't worthy of the courtesy of letting her know he was going. "I deserve that," he murmured evenly.

"So… is that all?" she asked him, staring at him with the cold expression that he wasn't used to being on the receiving end of. Most of his hair was gone, the lines in his face were deeper – but his eyes, they had never changed. Gutless he may have been when he left, but his eyes were still truthful and familiar and as honest as ever.

"I guess I also wanted to tell you that uh…" he paused, summoning up the courage to say it out loud – he hated to do that, saying the words out loud made it all too real. "Kathy passed…"

Olivia was so shocked by his regretful statement that suddenly she was winded by shock. "What!" she sputtered for the right words, to say something. "What do you- Kathy?" She lifted her hand to her mouth, shaking her head in disbelief, "Elliot, I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah…" his voice trailed off. "I'm sure you figured out that I was working in Puglia… a bomb blast meant for me, she survived it, but there were complications afterward, she's been gone almost a year."

Olivia felt tears instantly fill her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, apologizing for her emotions. She quickly blinked them back. She had noticed the first time he came to see her that he was still wearing his wedding ring.

"How are the kids?" she choked out.

"Not good," he shrugged, she knew he was trying very hard not to get emotional too. "Sometimes they blame me," he added, "but I probably deserve that too."

"Kathy loved you Liv," he told her honestly, "she loved you but she was scared that you and I were at a tipping point and she wanted me to choose and I had to choose my children."

"You also had to choose your wife," she sniffed, feeling irate by his statement, "it was the right thing."

"I didn't mean to abandon you, I didn't intend on not calling or not even sending an email but I knew that if I did, I might have heard back from you and then I might have chosen you before anyone else."

"Don't…" Olivia choked on her words, "I don't want to discuss that,"

"Okay," he relented, blinking back his own tears. "I'm sorry…I just don't want you to think it was your fault."

"Well, I did think that." She looked up at his eyes, "And Kathy was wrong, Elliot, I would have never taken you from her even if you put it on the table. Our relationship was far more complicated than it was romantic. We wouldn't have worked out, we would have killed each other first."

He gave her a brief smile. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it…"

She wiped her eyes and smiled back. "I really missed you," he said again.

"I did miss you too," she admitted, "but I'm happy Elliot, and I don't need your apologies and I don't need that awful, love/hate dynamic between us anymore, I've grown up and it's my fault for not putting it to bed earlier…"

He nodded slowly, understanding what she was getting at. There was very little left between them.

"I'm very sorry about Kathy…"

"I need to get Sanchez because I suspect the guy at the top is responsible for Kathy…"

It finally made sense why he was so obsessed with the case.

"Okay," she nodded, "I'll help you where I can, but the crime scene stuff, I can't do it."

"Got it," he replied.

He leaned back in to his chair and smiled at her, "So Trevor Langan huh?"

"Don't," she said firmly, "I love him, he is a good person and he is reliable and kind to me and Noah."

"Good," Elliot said and she felt that this time he meant it. "You deserve that."

"And Noah's Dad?" he asked softly, "how does he find Trevor?"

"Noah's Dad is out of the picture," she replied.

"Do I know him?" Elliot asked with a small smile.

"No, you don't…" she replied. "Its just Noah and I."

"And Trevor." He added.

"And Trevor and his little girl…" she added with a nod. "Be kind to Trevor, Elliot, Sanchez worked him too."

"I can't pretend to love the guy Liv, but I'll try to respect his job and that he takes care of you and your son."

"And he does," she replied, folding her arms a little defensively. "Truthfully, Elliot, it's not really your place to get involved in whether or not he takes care of me or if he was the worst man that I've ever been with, you don't have anything to do with my life anymore."

Just as she spoke the words, the front door opened. She almost jumped a mile. It was Trevor. Elliot sat up straight, immediately becoming vexed by the intrusion.

Olivia heard his voice as he appeared, the door blocking his view of Elliot. "Hi baby," he greeted her with a grin that made her stomach flutter. She couldn't help but immediately smile back, his entire presence making her shoulders relax.

He turned to shut the door behind him and he spotted Elliot. "Oh," he murmured, "Hi Elliot," he greeted him politely, glancing over at Noah sitting on the couch unaware with his earphones on, playing his game.

"Hi," he lifted his hand and gave Olivia's boyfriend a feeble wave.

Ignoring his girlfriend's ex-partner, Trevor pushed his satchel out of the way and leaned over to kiss her on the lips.

"Trevor!" Noah exclaimed, ripping his headphones off and putting his ipad aside. Trevor couldn't help himself, he felt pleased that Elliot had to witness how close they'd all become.

"Heeey my little man!" he greeted him. Noah stood on the couch to reach closer to Trevor's height. He leapt in to Trevor's arms and hugged him.

"Noah!" Olivia exclaimed, "the couch is for sitting, not for standing," she roused him but she couldn't help but to smile at her son wrapping himself around the man who he had fallen in love with as much as she had.

"Sorry Mom," he murmured, "but I really, really missed Trevor…" he said in a smaller voice.

Olivia shook her head and breathed a sigh. Trevor gave him a long hug and a little squeeze before setting him down. "I missed you too, bud," he loved Noah's affection and it made him feel like he was becoming an important force in his life. He knew at times Olivia got nervous about it, but he was confident that things were headed the right way.

He ignored the awkwardness behind him. "Okay so, I'm gonna go get changed from my work clothes and then we can look at what needs to be done to finish your art project, okay?" he promised.

Noah nodded. "I did a list like you taught me last time" he replied, proud of himself.

Trevor grinned at him. "Wow, look at you go! Okay give me ten minutes, pop your game back on, I won't be long."

"You know where to find me," he told Liv, resting his hand on her shoulder briefly, just to let her know that she had his support if she needed it. He gave a smile to Elliot and let it grow as he walked away, noticing the annoyance take over his Elliot's demeanor.

He didn't mean to be smug about it all, but he wasn't comfortable with the detective coming in and thinking he was going to make up for all the shitty things he did to Olivia.

"Well, it looks like… everything is cozy here," Elliot remarked, not able to remove the bite from his tone.

"Elliot," she said, "don't you dare make fun or judge the life that I've built for myself. You don't even know half of the shit sandwiches I've had served to me since you've been gone…. Enjoying your life without a care in the world in Puglia…" she shook her head, "you haven't even scratched the god damn surface," she hissed.

"Mommy," she heard Noah's voice. Her gut clenched, "Mommy did you say a swear word?" he asked nosily, sidling up to her. Olivia put an arm around her son.

"It slipped out, Mommy needs to put a quarter in the swear jar."

Noah laughed, looking at Elliot curiously. Elliot chuckled too. "Do you get to keep the swear jar money?" he asked Noah.

Noah looked at Olivia for an answer. She managed a laugh. "We should put it in your bank, you'll be rich, won't you babe?"

Noah giggled. "We don't swear, it's naughty."

"Sometimes it's an accident," Olivia replied, "Elliot has a big swear jar at his house, or at least he used to when he knew Mom," she informed her son, "he has five children."

"Five children!" Noah exclaimed, "really? I don't have a brother or a sister," he informed Elliot, "but sometimes Trevor brings Eloise and I get to play with her but she's not my sister, but I wish she was sometimes."

Elliot smiled at him, "my kids are all grown up now, except one…"

"How old is Eli now?" Olivia asked, trying to do the math in her head.

"He's about to have his 14th birthday. It'll be a quiet one this year," he said and Liv understood immediately why. He turned to Noah, "hey Noah, would you like to hear a story about how brave and wonderful your Mommy is?"

He smiled politely and nodded his head.

"Your Mom and my wife, Kathy were in a very bad car accident when Kathy had my son in her belly and your Mom didn't get hurt so she climbed out of the crashed car and she helped my wife and then she saved my son because he decided he was ready to come out and meet the world."

Noah was smiling, he looked at Olivia who smiled at the memory, "Is that a for real story Mommy?" he asked, looking amused and a little doubtful. "You got a baby out of that lady's tummy?"

"It sure is, kiddo… I got to hold Elliot's son before he did… we were all very lucky that day." Olivia smiled at Elliot.

Elliot felt irate when he saw Trevor coming back down the hall. He looked a little too comfortable in gym pants and a t-shirt. Elliot couldn't help but wonder if he had his own closet space or bedside drawers.

"Trevor, can we have a snack?" Noah asked, going to meet him in the kitchen.

"I don't know, Mom, can we have a snack?" Trevor asked Olivia with a little chuckle, feeling pretty secure within his role of the man around the house whenever he was at Olivia's place.

"Sure, we haven't had the chance to get to snacks yet," Olivia replied, flashing her boys a smile.

"Okay," Trevor obliged Noah, "here, let's cut up some fruit and some a little cheese, what do you think about that?" he asked, picking him up and setting him on the counter.

"Yeah, I love cheese."

"Ah," Trevor grinned, "you're just like your Mom," he smiled. "What do you think we should have for dinner tonight?"

Olivia appreciated that Trevor wasn't trying to get involved in her conversation with Elliot nor was he acting jealous or rude even if she was aware that he had his own personal reservations about him being there. She was glad that he was keeping Noah engaged and taking care of him while staying just close enough to make things pretty clear to Elliot...

"I don't know," Noah shrugged, "I liked it that time when you made me the bigggg chicken nuggets," he said.

Trevor smiled.

Elliot knew that Olivia wasn't really paying him any attention while Trevor was in the room. "I should get going," he announced. "I'll leave you guys to do … to… your afternoon routine."

"Thanks," Olivia replied as if she was happy for him to be going. She was relieved. "Let me know what you need, I can send Fin to your team to help out temporarily, he worked the case with me."

"I actually would prefer your eyes," he said regretfully. "Fin is a good detective, but … Fin and I don't have that same rapport…" he let his voice trail off.

Olivia saw him to the door while Trevor kept his back to them, annoyed by the way Elliot was trying to manipulate her in to helping with a case that he was trying so hard to keep her away from.

"Elliot, it's been a decade you and I don't have a rapport anymore," she replied bluntly, "you need to work it out with Fin, I told you, this case isn't mine anymore."

He ignored her answer and opened the door, he turned and stood for a moment in the doorway.

"Bye Elliot," Noah waved at him with a smile. Elliot feigned a smile and waved back.

"Liv, I really am sincerely sorry, I know that won't cover it, but… for what its worth, know that its heartfelt."

She shrugged and smiled weakly at him. "I don't need your apology, but I accept it. I don't know what you expected, coming back – we don't pick up where we left off."

"I know that," he nodded but he had desperately wanted her to at least try. He couldn't fight her on it, he deserved it. "Maybe we can aim for being friends in the future."

She stared at him blankly before she responded, "Maybe a long way down the track," she corrected him.

"I'm glad that you are happy," he said sincerely, glancing behind her at Trevor and Noah who were chatting and laughing together feeling a pang of regret.

"Thank you. I'm very sorry about Kathy, if you speak to the kids, please send them my condolences," she replied.

"The kids would be happy to hear from you, Liv, especially Kathleen and Dickie, they keep asking me if I've spoken to you…"

"I don't think that would be appropriate. Send them my best."

He nodded and gave her a wave before turning to see himself out. She closed the door behind him and stood for a moment in silence to collect herself. Her fingers were trembling.

"Mom are you sad?" Noah asked, looking over at his Mom.

"Its okay bud, Mom's fine," Trevor smiled at him, "you sit here and eat your grapes for a moment," he directed him. He made his way to Olivia who tried to blink back her tears. She wasn't upset or angry, she just felt overwhelmed.

"Hey," he whispered, "you okay?" he rested his hands on her waist.

She turned around to face him and looked in to his eyes and gave him a nod. She seemed uncertain. She wrapped her arms around him and let him hold her for a moment.

"Its okay if you want to go take a few minutes…" he told her with a kiss on the forehead. "I know it must have been hard to talk to him."

"Kathy passed," she told him, finally letting her tears fall. "And it feels so stupid but I feel angry that I never said goodbye, that they just left and they were my second family and I never got to say goodbye…"

He gave her a squeeze. "I'm sorry baby," he murmured.

Olivia wiped her eyes. "Its okay," she sniffed, "can you sit with Noah for a minute, you're right I need to just go collect myself, he isn't worth my upset, it was entirely both their choice to cut off from me, it's not my fault."

"Exactly, you can't keep taking the blame for everyone else's actions, Olivia," he replied, "this is not at all your fault, go take a few minutes…"

"Thanks," she whispered, lifting her head to kiss his lips. "Love you," she whispered, clearing her voice.

He gave her a weak smile. "I love you too," he replied, releasing her. "Would you like a beer? I'll get you one ready to go."

"Thanks…" she replied as he released her.

Olivia went to her bedroom to get changed from going in to meeting with Garland earlier and then to pick Noah up. She loved that in the weeks passed, Trevor had grown so used to staying over that he'd left his pajamas in the cupboard and a couple of t-shirts close by. Olivia had started to wear them for comfort and it was an unspoken rule that once she washed them, he was to bring more.

She smiled to herself and tried to clear Elliot from her mind.

It was nice to see Trevor after four days of missed opportunities and a case that had kept him in New Jersey for two nights shadowing another ADA.

She was grateful to have him home with her and Noah.

She gave a yawn and remembered that Noah's teacher had let her know that she'd sent an email through to her work address about a situation that she didn't have the time to discuss at pick up.

She put on her pajama pants and one of Trevor's white tank tops and gathered her hair at the back of her head, pinning it back out of the way before she made her way back out to the living room.

"What are you guys doing out here?" she asked with a smile. Trevor smiled to see Olivia in his shirt. She looked hot, he thought, her toned arms on display and her hair pinned tied neatly back, with a few stray locks falling around the frame of her face.

And he loved her smile.

"Trevor said we can maybe order in tonight and then we can work on my art."

Olivia managed a laugh, "Oh really?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at Trevor who handed her an open beer. She clinked hers with his, a silent cheers.

"I said only if Mom says its okay," Trevor warned him.

"Mom says its okay," she nodded, "Mom is too tired to argue and you, my boy," she kissed her son on the forehead, "are too cute for me to say no to some days."

Olivia picked up a piece of melon and put it in to her mouth, chewing and swallowing before she took a long gulp of her beer – as if the brew immediately made her relaxed.

Noah giggled, happy and content being the center of both his Mom and Trevor's attention. "What will we eat?" he asked.

"I don't know yet, when we decide, we'll let you know," Olivia winked at him. "Honey how about I make you a plate of food and you can keep playing your game for a little while while Trev and I have a chat, plus I have to look at an email from your teacher."

Noah looked slightly alarmed. "I didn't do it," he said immediately. Trevor and Olivia exchanged looks.

"You didn't do what?" Olivia asked suspiciously.

"Whatever Mrs. Newcom says, it's a lie."

Olivia raised her eyebrow at her son again, "Honey, Mrs. Newcom didn't say anything, don't worry I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong."

"Okay," he said slowly but the change in demeanor made her realize something was going on. "Unless there's something that you want to tell us."

He shook his head. "Can I go play my game now?" he asked.

"Okay, off you go…" she let it go, deciding to find out what was in the email before digging too deep. Trevor helped him off the counter and he went to play his Minecraft game.

Olivia hoisted herself up where Noah had been sitting as Trevor pulled a plate out. She filled it up with some fruit and some cheese and raisins and Trevor went and set it down on the coffee table for Noah to pick at.

"So … how was it overall?" he asked her, referring to Elliot's visit. "Did he just turn up, or?" despite him feeling secure with what they had, he would have hated if she'd organized to meet Elliot without at least giving him notice. He knew it was slightly illogical and maybe even jealous, but he couldn't help it given the history they had between them.

"Yeah, just as we got in," she replied, "it was really weird… I tried to keep in mind what you said, you know, talk about easy stuff, not get bunkered down by the past but … there's nothing to talk about anymore, we have nothing in common, our lives are so far apart, it felt awkward and weird," she sighed, letting her legs dangle, holding her beer with both of her hands. She took another swig of it.

"I'm sorry baby," he stepped closer, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I love you, is there something I can do to make you feel better?" he asked.

"You're already here…" she smiled wearily, "how about you, how was your day?" she asked him, enjoying the feel of his hands on her thighs, leaning against the counter between her legs.

"Good… but I'm very glad to be home for the weekend," he smiled. "I did get a barrage of psycho messages from Helena last night, the American express card declined."

"Oh dear…" Olivia rolled her eyes. "Did you respond?"

"I just told her that once we talk to a solicitor I am happy to pay what I owe and I will be happy to provide clothes, daycare, education and toys and costs toward her upbringing whenever Eloise needs something," he shrugged.

"I'm sorry she's being like this… when do you get to see Eloise again?"

"We managed to agree that I would take her next Friday but we go to mediation on Monday and we'll see what happens."

"I'm sure it'll be okay," she smiled at him encouragingly. He slid his arms around her and drew her close to him. She sensed that he needed her to hold him as much as she needed it too.

"It's certainly stressful," he replied. "I need to find a nanny… I won't be able to look after her on my own, Erika can only help out so much and I don't want to burden my Mom too much."

Olivia pulled away. "Why don't I speak to Lucy?" she offered, "maybe she can help out a little bit on the days that you have Eloise, she could get both of the kids from school and daycare and either take them back to yours or here or whatever you want and she might know someone trustworthy."

"Really? You'd be okay with that? With the kids spending so much time together?"

"It wouldn't be that much, just certain days," she smiled, "but Lucy is mine on the weekends…"

He laughed, "that's where Erika comes in to it. By the way, she is realllly looking forward to meeting you, I haven't heard the end of it," he chuckled.

Olivia laughed, "Really? That is so sweet, I would love to meet your baby sister."

"Great, I'll tell her and you can get all the family secrets," he joked. They both chuckled. "Ahhh," he sighed, "its so good to be back in New York with you..." he smiled, "I really missed you this week."

"I missed you too," she replied. He initiated a few soft kisses. "Can't wait for some adult time later?" he whispered.

She smiled at him, "Let's play it by ear."

He chuckled. "I didn't necessarily mean that," he clarified. "I'd be happy to lay in bed with you in underwear or less," he added with a wink, "I just really missed being close to you."

"Me too," she agreed, but smiled thinking about the very adult conversation they'd had the night before. "Lucy is happy to take Noah home after dinner tomorrow night so I can spend the night with you at your place. One night a week is better than none, right?"

He grinned. "What time is Noah's t-ball game?" he wondered.

"We have to be there around 11, they start at 12:30 but they do a little bit of stretching and practice and all that cute little kid stuff," she informed him. "Oh, that reminds me," she pointed to the dining table as she took a mouthful of beer, "could you be the sweetest and grab my phone?" she smiled cheekily.

Trevor cocked his head and gave her a smile. "Lucky you're cute…" He went to grab it and hand it to her.

"Was it just me or was Noah acting weird before when I said I got an email from his teacher?"

Trevor laughed, "Yeah, he definitely did something…" she managed a laugh too as she finished off her beer. "Hopefully nothing too bad."

She scrolled through a few emails until she found one from Mrs. Newcom. She gave it a quick skim over, her mouth dropping open.

"What is it?" Trevor asked.

"Fuck…" she whispered. "This is bad…" she turned to make sure Noah had his earphones on.

"Dear Ms Benson,

There has been some discussion in the classroom regarding Noah's father. I am aware that this is a delicate situation and I am reluctant to bring it to you via email but I did not believe that this was an appropriate conversation to happen with Lucy. Noah has had a long disagreement with his classmate Connor about a man he is alleging to be his father. I don't know if such person exists or if it is a truthful conversion.

My concern is that Noah is perhaps making up stories to console himself or to fit in to a space where he might feel he does not belong. He continually refers to a man called Trevor who he says is father, Connor Wilkins is adamant that this is not the case and I had to pull them apart to keep them from a physical altercation.

Ms. Benson, I don't wish to overstep and if Noah's father is present and now in his life, then I sincerely apologize but if not we may need to address this further with the guidance counsellor as it seems that Noah might be a little confused or is having trouble understanding his own particular family dynamic. Please feel free to contact me to discuss this further.

Kind regards,

Caroline Newcom."

"Fuck…" Trevor whispered.

"Please don't freak out," Olivia begged him quickly, not wanting Trevor to back off her son. "He just …" she sighed. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to him."

"No, no, its fine, I'm not freaking out, I'm just sorry if I've done something to cause this." He paused, "Have I overstepped, Liv? You can be honest."

"No!" she exclaimed, "you are incredible with Noah… but you're not his Dad and … this actually came up two weeks ago," she sighed, "I thought we put it to bed."

"Really?" he was surprised, "why didn't you tell me?"

She shook her head, "I didn't want to freak you out, my kid calling you Dad… that's weird."

"It's not that weird that he's confused though," Trevor replied softly, not wanting to offend Olivia. "we should talk to him – or you if you don't want me to be there for it."

"No," she said, a serious look washing her face, troubled by the email, "you should be there, he needs to hear it from you, you're not his Dad Trevor, you need to tell him that."

"Shit Liv, I don't want to break his heart…" he sighed, hating the idea of having to look her sweet boy in the eyes and tell him that he wasn't going to be his parent.

"Do you think I want to?" she sighed with frustration, "this is why…" she stopped speaking, not wanting ot be hurtful.

"This is why what?" he pressed, "finish that sentence, Olivia…." he commanded firmly.

She shook her head again.

Trevor continued, "So it's my fault… for what? Being too nice to him? I dunno, Liv, I'm genuinely very sorry, but.. I won't apologize for being kind to your son and kind to you."

"I'm sorry, that's not what I was getting at. It's just…" she said quietly, "this isn't your fault at all, you've done nothing wrong, I'm just frustrated."

"I don't want to fight," Trevor retreated, "Noah is the main concern here… we are both navigating this situation, so I'm sorry, I don't want to stress you out."

"Thanks…"

"Let's press pause on this for the second, let's … order dinner, you brought your ipad home to do what?" he wondered, trying to change the subject to let them both have a minute to think about it separately.

"I have a couple of reports I need to look over and approve, just to keep my eye on things, but that aside, that's all," she replied in agreement.

"Okay I'll help Noah with his art stuff if you want to have some time to your work stuff and have a shower or whatever… catch up on your trash TV," he winked.

She was almost able to forget the email for a second. She smiled at him, "were you this good to Helena? Letting her go pamper herself while you got home and helped with the baby?"

"Of course," he said, "I was always happy to give her a break from not being able to shower, shit or cry in peace," he laughed at his own comment. "By the time I got home she all but hurled the baby at me," he joked, "it's a tough job being a Mom, I get it…"

She sighed and nodded with agreement.

She slid off the couch and glanced and made her way over to Noah. "Another beer?" Trevor asked.

"No, I'm going to need a good red for this night…" she said with a laugh. "Okay what are we doing for dinner?" she asked him.

"How about some Thai, do you have any good little places local?" he asked.

"Mmm music to my ears, yes I'm on first name basis with my local Thai guys," she joked. "Plus I can still make Noah eat vegetables since it's about all he'll eat with the or noodles."

"Okay if you give me the number and write down what you want, you go have a shower, do whatever and I'll order food and get a start on Noah's art bit for him."

"Thank you, sweetheart," she smiled. "I love you," she told him, the words coming out with such ease now. She felt so comfortable saying the words that felt so heavy the first time she'd spilled them out but she was sure she had said it dozens of times since. Besides having sex, there was no other words that would aptly convey her feelings for him.

It was dizzying at times, jarring and surreal and entirely consuming, but she did sincerely love the way that he made her feel.

"I love you too, baby," he replied watching her open the contact for the Thai food in her phone's contacts. She also had the menu bookmarked in her phone's browser. He laughed. She wrote down what she wanted and what to get for Noah too.

He took her phone and watched her pad down the hall to her bed room to get some things together for a shower.

Trevor tapped Noah on the shoulder. He looked up and pulled his headphones off. "Okay kiddo, Mom said time is up, ipad down," he told him kindly but firmly.

Noah glanced back at the screen, "Okay but can I just have five more minutes?" he asked hopefully.

Trevor smiled, "No, how about you have no more minutes. I need you to go and get all of your art things so we can work on your project."

"But I just have to save my game," he replied, looking back at the screen. Trevor didn't know much about the game, he didn't know if it was a platform game or if it was free form, it looked pretty pointless, but he shrugged. "You've got ten seconds…" he warned him, "and after ten seconds, I'm taking Mom's iPad."

He sighed heavily and un-paused his game and waited for Trevor to count down to 0.

"Okay buddy, time is up-"

"But I just want to-" he started but Trevor cut him off and cocked his head, "come on, Mom said your time is up, hand me the iPad please," he said firmly.

Without saving it, he slumped his shoulders and handed the ipad over.

"Thank you," Trevor replied, closing the app and pulling the cover over the screen. He placed it up high out of Noah's line of vision and height. "I'm gonna order dinner and I'd like you to please go and get your art supplies and start getting them all ready to go."

"Okay," Noah replied.

"Noah, what's the matter?" Trevor asked him noticing that he'd lost his enthusiasm for the art project.

He shrugged, coloring the different panels with markers. Since their first night of working on his project together, Noah expressed disappointment with his painting, he wanted to build something and Olivia knew it was beyond her abilities and since Trevor had put the idea in his head about making a steam train model, Noah pushed and pushed for her to help him make it. Trevor offered to step in instead as he'd been the one to put his foot in it.

"Do you not like what you're making?" he asked him carefully, thinking that maybe he was doing too much, that Noah was feeling like he was overstepping.

"No, I like it, it looks good."

"Okay, do you want me to leave you alone so you can work it out on your own for awhile?" he asked the little boy, not wanting to crowd him but wanting to give him his own space.

"No, I want you to help me, I like it when you are here with Mommy and I and I like it when you help me."

"Okay," Trevor replied, realizing that whatever it was, it probably wasn't anything he'd done. "Well, if you are upset about something you know you can talk to Mommy or me about it."

"Why did you get mad at me before?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"When?" Trevor asked, confused.

Noah looked at him from beneath his furrowed brows. "Before when I had Mommy's iPad you got mad at me." Trevor was utterly thrown as he saw the little boy's giant blue eyes film over with tears. "You raised your voice."

He felt awful but did accept that Noah was being oversensitive. "I wasn't mad at you, buddy," he said gently, "come over here… there's no need to cry," he smiled at him. Noah put his pencil down and made his way over to Trevor.

Olivia stood in the hallway, witnessing a conversation between them. She was interested to know what had happened, but wanted Trevor to work it out and hoped that he would do so properly.

Trevor lifted the child in to his lap. "I just asked you nicely to put the iPad down cos that's what Mommy asked of me to do. It's close to getting dinner ready and we still need to work on this, as soon as you cut all the pieces out and color them, I can come over on Sunday and help put it all together for Sunday, I just don't want you to run out of time on such a special project…k?"

Noah nodded. Trevor gave him a smile and brushed away his tears. "I'm not mad at you, buddy, you're one of my favourite people in the world, did you know that?"

He shook his head and was sniffled with a tiny smile. Liv watched on with a big grin. She watched Trevor engulf her son in a hug. Noah hugged him back and she knew that already their relationship was special.

"Guess what?" he asked Noah, "sometimes I get frustrated and sometimes I might have to be firm if that's what Mommy says, but I don't like to yell and raise my voice so I don't do that, not even when I'm super mad with Eloise."

Noah smiled, "What if she did a drawing on the wall?" he asked.

Trevor laughed, "I'd be upset but I wouldn't yell at her… and I wouldn't yell at you either bud, so if you think I'm mad, you can just ask me, I promise I'll be honest with you. The same way if I ask you if you're upset with me, you can tell me too, okay?"

Noah nodded.

"Come here, bring it in!" he waved Noah in for another hug. She watched her little boy wrap her arms around her boyfriend's neck tightly and rest his head on his shoulder with a happy smile. Trevor dwarfed him in his huge, broad body. It was heart warming for her to watch, a relationship that had bloomed so fast that she often questioned herself as to whether or not it was appropriate for her son to be so attached so quickly.

Olivia wasn't looking for a father for Noah and it worried her that her son was at school informing people that Trevor was his Dad.

There was so much relief within her to see that Trevor treated her son's heart with the same care that he treated her heart with. Every time she got nervous about the relationship between them, she comforted herself that this relationship felt different. She didn't feel the same as she did with Trevor as she had with any other man before.

"This looks cozy…" she remarked as she walked in to the dining room, observing the cuddle between the two.

"Noah and I were just having a little talk about how we're gonna make the project come together on Sunday afternoon." Trevor informed her.

"Fantastic, Noah you should be so proud, it's looking so wonderful."

Both of them grinned at her, it was contagious. They both had the most amazing blue eyes and it occurred to Olivia that they could have possibly passed as father and son. She tried not to let her brain get carried away.

"I poured you a wine, it's on the counter…" he told her with a smile. Olivia placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned over to kiss his Trevor's forehead and then kissed Noah's too.

"You're both wonderful," she smiled, letting go to go and grab her wine. "Thank you Noah for giving the iPad up to Trevor without any arguments," she said, obviously realizing that he'd given Trevor a little bit of a challenge, "it makes me really happy when you do as you're asked."

Trevor and Noah smiled at one another knowingly. Trevor winked at him.

"Mommy's gotta do a little bit of work here while you boys work on the art project," she informed them both, setting her wine on the coffee table and folding her legs beneath herself on the couch. It felt good to be able to relax before dinner, not having to continually hustle her son around and keep him entertained enough so that he wouldn't beg to use technology.

It was comforting to have another set of hands to help her around the house and where she sometimes struggled with things on her own.

She glanced over watching the two chat away and work on his school project happily. Trevor looked as interested in it as Noah was and she knew it wasn't just for show, he adored Noah too and it meant everything to her.

She sipped her wine and smiled to herself, forgetting Elliot's visit and concentrating on the two most important men in her life.

"Are we doing this?" Trevor asked as Olivia waited for Noah to come out of the bathroom and in to bed. He felt nervous about it, but he knew he had to support Olivia.

"Well, you don't have to…" she replied, "it's not your responsibility," she sensed his reluctance.

"No, I mean, it involves me, I guess and maybe he needs to hear it from me," he nodded.

Olivia nodded in agreement. "I just need you to back me up," she said simply, "because it's not appropriate."

"Okay," he agreed. He came up behind her and they made their way to Noah's room. He came out of the bathroom and Olivia waited to make sure she heard him washing his hands.

Trevor took a seat on Noah's desk chair while Olivia pulled the covers back and let him climb in. "Move over, sweetheart, Mommy's gonna sit down and talk for a minute."

Olivia sat beside him and lifted the covers so he could cover his legs. He sat against the bed head and seemed happy to not have to go to sleep straight away. "Trevor, you can sit on my bed too if you like…" Noah said with a smile.

He smiled and got up from the chair and took a seat half way down the bed, not wanting to crush Olivia's legs. She smiled at her boyfriend, thankful for him to being there to help her explain the situation to Noah.

"Honey, we need to talk about something a little bit serious okay?" she started.

Noah looked at her and nodded slowly. "I got an email from Ms Newcom today about you and Connor fighting and I'm not very happy about it, but we'll talk about that in a moment."

Noah went to protest but Olivia held up her hand, halting his words before they poured out of his mouth. "Do you know what I love, Noah? I love it when you are honest with me and I love it when you are honest with me if something is bothering you and you can also be honest with Trevor too…" she let her words settle for a moment. "So I want you to think very carefully about whether or not you are telling me the truth when I ask this next question…"

She knew he still had no idea what was coming.

"Are you telling Connor and your classmates that Trevor is your Daddy still?" she asked gently. "We aren't angry with you, we just need you to be honest about it."

"Connor was teasing me about my Daddy because he has one and I don't." Noah started to cry.

"Yes or no, honey…"

"Yes."

"Thank you for being honest with me," she said with a weak smile. "But now we have to talk about it, come here…" she pulled him in to her lap and Trevor scooted up beside her. Noah dared to look at Trevor, lowering his eyes.

"Hey bud, I'm not mad either," he gave him a reassuring smile. "But it's important that we talk about it because Mom and I don't want you to get confused."

"But if you and Mommy get married you'll be my daddy then, right?" Noah asked.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Olivia told him, running her fingers through his curls. "and we're not getting married anytime soon..."

"Noah, I'm not your Dad, buddy," Trevor said softly to him, hating to say it. "I think you are a wonderful, special kid, but I'm not your Dad."

Noah looked to his Mom for answers. "Noah, some kids don't have Dads and it's okay. I didn't have a Dad, I only had my Mommy and it was fine. Sometimes kids made fun of me too, but I just had to tell them to back off or I told my teacher."

She watched fresh tears stream down his cheeks and blinked back her on. She felt Trevor's arm around her. "Don't you love me?" Noah asked Trevor.

"Of course I love you," Trevor smiled, hating that Olivia's son was so confused by their relationship. "I fell in love with your Mommy and I fell in love with you too. I don't like that your friend is making fun of you, but you don't have to lie about it."

"But you do stuff with me that Connor's Dad does – you come to my t-ball games and you cook dinner for me and help me with homework…"

Olivia almost smiled, he was putting together a pretty compelling argument. "I know," Trevor agreed, "but that doesn't make me your Dad…" he murmured, hating it.

"Noah, I know its hard to understand," Olivia tried, "but you can tell your friends about Trevor if you like, you can tell them the cool and fun stuff that you guys do together…" she smiled at him and wiped his tears.

"Are you my friend?" Noah asked, trying to navigate the relationship.

"Yes of course, I'm your friend and you're my little buddy. Do you know how many other little buddys I have?" he asked Noah with a small smile.

"You better say zero," Olivia muttered but they both laughed.

"How many?" he asked.

"None, because you're the most special but I'm Eloise's Dad."

"I could be like a brother to Eloise."

Trevor grinned at him, knowing that it was going to take Noah some time to fully understand the role that Trevor had in his life. "Eloise would be so lucky to have a brother like you," he replied agreeing with him.

"The important thing Noah, is that you need to tell the truth and we discussed this the other day, it doesn't matter what Connor says. In fact, I'm going to have a chat to his Mom about it, I don't want you fighting at school each time someone says something you don't like."

"Okay Mommy," he murmured.

"And if someone says to you, is Trevor your Daddy, what are you going to tell them?" she asked him.

"That Trevor is my friend and my Mommy's boyfriend."

Olivia couldn't help but to laugh, "You can just tell them that he's your friend for now."

"Okay."

"Noah, if you're confused about any of this and you need to ask us more questions, you can – anytime, okay?" Trevor added.

Noah nodded but both Olivia and Trevor could tell that he was losing interest fast.

"Right… now, it's time for bed. Who's tucking you in tonight?" Olivia asked her son, giving him a little tickle on his belly.

"Trevor!" he exclaimed, wriggling away from her. She didn't mind or feel put out by their relationship. He hadn't seen Trevor for the most part of the week and he was still a little bit of a novelty to him.

Trevor laughed. "Alright, alright… come on…" Both Olivia and Trevor got up. Trevor lifted the six year old and waited for Olivia to pull the covers back. He put him down and waited for him to get comfortable.

"Mom, I need my Eric!" he announced. Olivia handed him his stuffed elephant and watched him tuck it beneath his arm.

Trevor tucked the covers beneath the mattress tightly and leaned over to hug Olivia's son goodnight. "Have a good sleep buddy, you've gotta be up bright and early for your big game!"

Noah beamed at them. Olivia gave her son a kiss goodnight and turned his tiny night light on as they left the door ajar and went back to the living room.

"Well that was a nightmare," Olivia said with a sigh, heading to the kitchen to pour herself another wine. "Want some?" she asked after taking two long mouthfuls.

"No thanks, I might have another beer…" he helped himself to the fridge. "I mean, I know I'm not his Dad, Liv, he clearly knows it too, but are we telling him that in five years time if you and I are married and he really does want to call me Daddy, that he's not allowed to?"

She glanced at him and hid a smile, trying not think too much in to what he just said. "If we get married, Trevor," she said evenly, "if Noah still wants to call you Dad and you're comfortable with that, we could revisit it, but I'd still prefer that you're Trevor to him. If my heart gets broken that's one thing, but I am not giving him a father to have him taken away."

Trevor nodded. "I guess it's just a bit difficult to try to explain my role, to not want him to call me Dad, but to then have me tuck him in at night, be firm when I need to be, cook for him, work on homework with him – he isn't wrong, it's Dad stuff."

"So you think I'm wrong?" Olivia asked, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"No, no, no…" he shook his head, "I'm just thinking out loud because you are right, it was hard…right now at this point, what? 2 months in, it's not appropriate, I wouldn't want Eloise calling you Mom if Helena wasn't in the picture but I'd be open to it if we all wanted to have that discussion when things seemed like they were on the right track for a lifetime together."

Olivia nodded and closed her eyes, taking a long slow mouthful of her wine, trying to digest it all.