Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.
The most helpful advice Eric was given in his acting class, had nothing to do with his line delivery, or his vocal inflection, or how he blocked each scene. It had to do with his state of mind. "Mr. Kwan, you're approaching this all wrong," his director, Mrs. Buchanan, lectured him. "The best acting is not pure imitation. In fact, it's not imitation at all. What you're doing, that's all pretend. You've got to use your emotions and your experiences to connect with the character, and from there, the performance will become real."
Eric found that Mrs. Buchanan was right. Simply impersonating that psychotic, gun-wielding villain produced less than desirable results. It was something like a spoof portrayal, like he was lampooning the character and his personality. A portrayal that was obviously put forth, by someone who didn't really understand the character. So Eric switched up his activities during rehearsal. While his scene partner, Addison, nagged him endlessly about his leaving early, to go down to the library, Eric pored over hundreds of pages' worth of the killer's life, his possible motivations, and his psychological state.
In the end, it wasn't that hard for Eric to figure out, how to make the killer's strong emotions surface within him. Maggie's oppressive presence became a stand-in for the killer's tyrannical boss. And the killer's constant self-loathing at his being stuck in a dead-end job? Easy. At the time, the fifteen-year-old Eric seemed to be buried in his insecurities, over his failed dating life.
The night of the show's premiere, even Maggie told him he'd done a great job. That bit of rare praise lifted Eric's spirits, for a while, anyway. But heeding Mrs. Buchanan's advice, brought on an unexpected side effect. Long after the show had closed and the dusty curtains had fallen, Eric still found himself, on occasion, thinking like the character, even acting like the character. Reacting aggressively to tiny disturbances, like Tobias lightly tapping him on the shoulder. Practicing drawing his - fake - gun. Answering his mother's questions in one-word barks.
Maggie ordered Eric to stop participating in school plays, and that was that. But Mrs. Buchanan's helpful tip stuck with him. It's in his mind now, as he wonders whether he is just acting at being one of the Dauntless, or if he already is one. He recalls what Amelia said, that he's an Erudite, "through and through". With that knowledge, one could say he'll never belong in Dauntless, that he's a perpetual outsider.
But he just proved himself. He knocked his girlfriend down in the arena, with zero hesitation. Like a high-ranking Dauntless initiate should.
How far gone am I? What if I've lost myself entirely? Would that be good, or bad?
Eric watches Mia, as she nurses her swollen jaw. She doesn't say anything to him. It takes a full minute before Eric dares to approach her.
"Hey, Mia," he greets her, trying to sound terse. "You -" He means to say, "You okay?", but she breaks in before he can finish.
"Yeah," she says, her voice just as clipped. "I'm okay. Whatever."
Eric's gaze lingers. Is she being ambiguous, or does she feel malice toward him? He decides to just ask. "You don't want me around right now, do you?"
"Um, what?" Mia's looking straight at him now. "Yes, I do. Eric, come on. Let's not make this awkward. Amar just gave you a test, and you passed. If anything, you should be going out to celebrate."
Eric shifts from foot to foot, trying to think of an appropriate response.
"Actually," Mia continues. "We should be going out to celebrate. We have a vacation day coming up, for God's sake. The fights were supposed to be hard, but they're all done now. We should just loosen up and have fun." She rises, putting the ice pack down.
"You're not upset at me, for what I did? Not even a little bit?" Eric can feel himself smiling again.
"No," Mia says, sounding mildly annoyed. "So are you coming with me, or what? I got a table reserved at Cliffside Dining."
She strolls out of the room, and Eric walks out after her.
I'm becoming someone else, yeah. But in a good way.
Tobias, Year 2143
The Dauntless compound's a good place to recover. It's dark and full of secret, quiet places, places that the average non-Dauntless wouldn't be able to find.
I find a random hallway near the Pit and lean against the wall, letting the cold from the stone seep into me. My headache has returned, along with the various spurts of pain from the fight, but I can't really register any of it. I look down, and notice that my knuckles are plastered with blood, Jason's. I try to clean it off, but it's been drying too long.
I won my most critical fight, and that means my place in Dauntless is secure, for the time being. I should feel more satisfied than afraid. Maybe even overjoyed, to finally belong somewhere, to be among people other than Eric, whose eyes don't avoid mine at the lunch table. But I know that for every good thing that comes along, there's always a cost. Is the cost of being Dauntless, freeing the monster within me?
"Hey." I look up and see Shauna knocking on the stone wall, like it's a door. She grins at me. "This isn't the victory dance I was expecting."
"Uh, yeah. About that - I don't really dance," I say.
"Yeah, I should have known better." She sits down across from me, her back against the opposite wall. Our feet are just a few inches apart. Why did I even notice that? Oh, yeah - she's a girl.
I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the best at talking to girls. Especially not a Dauntless girl. Ever since my first "relationship", something's told me that you can never know what to expect from a Dauntless girl.
"Jason's knocked out in the hospital," Shauna says, and there's a smirk on her face. "They said you broke his nose. You also made him lose one of his teeth."
I have to look away. One of my biggest foes, and Eric's rival for the top spot in Dauntless, and I knocked out his tooth?
"I was wondering if you could help me," Shauna says quietly, nudging my shoe with her toe.
As I suspected - Dauntless girls are totally unpredictable. "Help you with what?"
"Fighting," she replies. "I'm no good at it. I keep getting humiliated in the arena." She sighs and shakes her head. "I gotta face off with this girl for my last fight, her name's Ashley, but she makes everyone call her Ash." Shauna rolls her eyes a little. "You know, Dauntless flames, ash, whatever. Anyway, she's one of the best people in our group, and I'm scared she's gonna kill me. Like, actually kill me."
"And why do you want my help?" I ask her, suddenly on edge. "Is it 'cause you know I'm a Stiff, and we're supposed to help people?"
"What? No, of course not," she says, looking bewildered. "I want your help 'cause you just beat the best person in your group."
I laugh dryly. "That doesn't make me any good. I was pissed off, and I think I just got lucky."
"Jason was the only undefeated one, and you just beat him up, so yeah, you are good. Listen, if you don't want to help me, all you have to do is -"
"I'll help," I interrupt. "I will. I just don't really know how."
"We'll figure it out," she says. "Maybe at night, after everyone's asleep? I might be able to reserve a training room somewhere."
I nod. She smiles, gets up, and starts to leave. But a few steps away, she turns around, moving back down the hallway.
"Quit sulking already, Thomas," she chastises me. "Everyone's impressed with you. Even the nurses in the infirmary, they're gossiping about you. Embrace it."
I watch her silhouette turn the corner at the end of the hallway. I was so disturbed by the fight, I didn't really think about what beating Jason meant - that I'm now a hero in Dauntless. I got revenge on Eric's behalf, and on Mia's. I might've chosen Dauntless as a safe haven, but I'm not just surviving here, I'm becoming a local phenom.
I look again at Jason's blood on my knuckles, and a pleased smile comes to my face.
AN: So I know that in the book, Tobias and Shauna train on Visiting Day, but that doesn't really make sense to me, since Shauna told Tris that they practiced at night, "after everyone was asleep".
As for that little story about Eric in his acting class? Well, in the first book, Tris mentions that Eric is an unusually good actor. She calls him an "Erudite disguised as a Dauntless," and mentions that he can turn his expression "on and off" with ease. I couldn't help wondering if that's just a natural talent of Eric's, or if he learned it somewhere.