Regina felt Emma's eyes on her, and she gave a little nod. Just to confirm that she had heard Graham. And that she wasn't planning on breaking down. At least not right now.
"We have four hours before he arrives," Graham reminded them.
Regina nodded again. She was going to need those four hours to mentally prepare herself.
"This is a good thing," Graham continued. "The plan worked. Liam will be stopped. Tonight."
Regina believed him. Trusted him. Even though Graham was wearing a uniform and she could see the police baton hanging from his belt. Graham was a good man. A good officer. Unlike Killian, he was actually worthy of the uniform.
Next to her, Emma shifted a little. Regina glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. Emma had gone awfully pale. She looked sickly. Regina wondered if she should bring Emma a glass of water. She looked like she could need it.
"Emma, he won't get past me," Graham said firmly.
"I believe you," Emma muttered and glanced at Regina.
Oh, Emma. Regina almost shook her head. All along, Emma was the one who had been feeling the brunt of Liam's anger, and yet here she was, worried about Regina rather than worrying about her own safety. A wave of guilt rushed over Regina as she thought of what Liam had put Emma through. Suddenly she couldn't stand having Emma look so concerned for her sake. It was too much for her conscience. She tore off a post-it note and wrote: 'I'm going outside to get some air.' Then she pushed the note towards Emma.
"Okay," Emma said after having read the note.
Regina rose from her chair and went through the kitchen and out through the door. The weather was cold. It was not particularly comfortable to stand on the porch. But she needed air. She needed to breathe. And she needed to text her sister too. She found her phone in her pocket and wrote a message to Zelena. 'It worked. Liam is on his way.'
The answer came almost immediately. 'How are you feeling?'
'As calm as I can be in this situation,' Regina replied and added: 'is Henry okay?'
'He's doing perfectly well. All is calm here. How is Emma handling it?'
'She's worried. For my sake.'
'She cares a lot, doesn't she?'
'Yes, she does. I'll keep you updated. Keep the Henry pictures coming, please.' She was going to need lots of Henry-pictures to get through this nerve-wracking day.
'You got it!'
Regina smiled as she put her phone away for now. She could hear low muttering through the open door. Emma spoke softly. But Graham's voice was louder which made it possible for Regina to hear snippets of what he was saying.
"-Will NOT get past me. Trust me. He's not getting anywhere near Regina. It won't come to that."
Emma's answer was either too soft spoken or not audible at all.
Regina shook her head. Why couldn't Emma be worried about herself rather than worrying about Regina? She was not the one Liam had been tailing. Not the one he had been threatening. Emma was the one who had been exposed to danger. Regina's heart sped up and she could feel her chest rising and falling quickly.
"I know that this is stressful," Graham said softly, and Regina had to strain her ears to hear the rest. "And I would never have asked you and Regina to participate in this if I didn't feel completely sure that it would lead to the arrestation of Liam Jones."
"I know that," Emma half-whispered. "It's just... She's already been through so much, and I don't want her to..." she ran out of words.
"She's a very brave woman. You both are," Graham said.
Oh yes! Emma Swan was without a doubt the bravest woman Regina had ever met. And she was glad Graham could see that. Emma's bravery never failed to impress Regina deeply. Once again, she felt an overwhelming amount for the woman who currently was so worried about her.
That was when Graham's cellphone rang. The sound tore through the quietness, and Regina flinched. Her heart started racing again. She heard Graham answer the phone. Then say something to Emma. Something about Liam taking the bait. Then he spoke on the phone again. Regina stopped paying attention to that and started paying attention to the other things she was hearing. Emma was on the move. Regina was not quite sure when she had started to notice Emma's footsteps, but she had. She knew exactly how they sounded, and if she was standing blindfolded in a room full of people, she probably would be able to point out Emma's footsteps. Emma had a particular way of walking. Her footsteps started out soft. Almost as though she was insecure about her destination. Then more steadfast as she grew surer. But her footsteps never became too sharp or loud.
Regina didn't react when Emma came outside. Her hand which was laying on the railing, didn't even flinch.
Emma came over to her. Slowly extended her hand out and then placed it lightly atop Regina's. Her palm felt very soft and warm against Regina's knuckles.
The touch was not a bad one. Regina felt that immediately. She was not afraid of this touch. Quite the reverse. She moved her hand slightly, hoped that Emma wouldn't take it the wrong way. She didn't. So Regina followed through with her plan and turned her palm upwards. There. Now they were holding hands a bit more properly. But it still wasn't quite enough. As slowly as she possibly could, Regina gently weaved her fingers in between Emma's. That felt nice too. Very nice. Regina couldn't remember the last time she had held hands with anybody. At least not like this. Not in a…. romantic fashion.
Oh. So she was thinking about romance now, was she?
When Liam was on his way?
God, her timing was ridiculous.
A crazy lunatic was on his way to execute some Ludacris revenge upon them, and she was thinking about romance?
Good god. Maybe she was more damaged than she thought.
"I'm sorry if I'm being a nuisance," Emma said quietly. "I just wanted to-"
Yes. Regina interrupted her by gently squeezing her hand. Emma always 'just wanted to'. In the sweetest, most concerned way possible.
How could anyone even be this kind?
For a moment, a very brief, but nevertheless incredibly powerful moment, Regina found herself wanting to kiss Emma. The flicker was so brief. Only split-second. But it had definitely been there.
Real.
For a moment.
Then the invisible barrier of fear materialized and made Regina's heart thud for reasons that were not pleasant and her mind overflow with memories that were not pretty.
She gently untangled her fingers from Emma and pointed lightly towards the door to indicate that she would be heading back inside again. She was scared of feeling too much.
"Okay," Emma said. And to Regina's delight, she followed her through the door. Emma had not been spooked by her sudden departure.
There was no sign of Graham in the kitchen when Regina stepped inside. But she could hear him speaking on the phone in the living room. She found it to be quite soothing. Knowing that he was somewhere in the house made her feel safe. Almost as safe as the gun in her purse did.
Regina went over to the kitchen table and grabbed a post-it note. Wrote on it. She preferred writing on paper than writing on her phone. It was more personal. 'I'll be going upstairs to the library,' she wrote on the note and then handed it to Emma.
"Okay," Emma said after having read the message. "Do you want some company?"
Regina nodded and flashed her a little smile. Emma was more than welcome to join her if she liked. Then she walked upstairs.
In the library, Regina found her laptop and placed it on the coffee table. She might as well do something useful now that they were stuck in a waiting position.
Once the laptop was sat up, she roamed through her father's rather impressive collections of records until she found what she was looking for. Peggy Lee. One of her father's favorites. Regina couldn't count the times she had listened to Peggy Lee with him. And when she was younger, they had been dancing to Peggy's voice and the soft jazz. Regina smiled at the memory of her younger self stepping on her father's toes repeatedly. He never minded when she did. Only pretended to be gravely injured, much to her delight.
Regina carefully placed the needle on the record and after some initial scratching, Peggy Lee's soothing voice floated out through the phonograph horn, and she sat down on the couch and grabbed the laptop.
Footsteps that definitely didn't belong to Graham had Regina glancing sideways. Emma was standing in the door. Quietly. Listening. Perhaps she knew Peggy Lee? Regina reminded herself to ask her that at some point. When it was appropriate to talk about things that were not related to their current situation.
'Don't cry, there'll be another spring
I know our hearts will dance again
And sing again, so wait for me till then
Be glad the bird is on the wing
Another time to love
And laugh with me, just wait and see...'
The music made things just a fraction better. Peggy Lee always had a soothing impact on her.
"I love you now
And I'll love you forever
Oh don't be sad
We'll surely be together
'Cause the sky is bluer overhead
If you will just believe in me
There'll be another spring."
The interlude began playing, and Regina was watching Emma more than she was looking at her laptop. She watched as Emma walked over to the record player and looked at the LP spinning around. Then she turned and looked around.
Regina immediately rooted her eyes to her laptop. She didn't want to be caught staring. And honestly, the website she had opened, did demand her attention.
"Can I sit?" Emma asked softly.
Regina nodded in what she hoped was an absentminded manner. She really, really hoped that Emma hadn't caught her staring.
"Thanks." Emma sat down on the couch. In a reasonable distance, of course, but Regina still carefully moved her purse out of the way. God forbid that Emma should catch a glimpse of the gun. That would be bad.
"For the sky is bluer overhead,
If you will just believe in me,
There'll be another spring..."
Another spring. Yes, Regina could use that. Something that could give her hope. She tried to concentrate on the website as the music ebbed out to immediately be replaced with another song:
"No one here can love or understand me,
Oh, what hard luck stories they all hand me,
Pack up all my cares and woe, here I go, winging low,
Bye, bye, blackbird..."
A bird. A caged bird. That was what Regina had felt like for a very long time. Desperately flapping her wings in an attempt to get free. The dark thoughts loomed in her head and threatened to sweep her away. Regina narrowed her eyes and zeroed on the words on the website she was currently looking at. It was high time she tried to understand exactly what kind of surgery she was possibly having. Possibly. She had definitely not made any decisions yet. "Adjustable laryngeal implant". It didn't sound very nice. But then again, the idea of anyone messing with her throat was not nice. Both Doctor Anton and Doctor Auburn had said that this surgery was going to work, but Regina still hesitated. She could vividly remember the pain.
The throbbing.
The plaster.
The ointment.
The liquid diet.
The medicine.
The gagging every time she swallowed.
And the fatigue.
God, the fatigue.
And suppose it didn't even work?
Not all surgeries worked.
And waking up the last time and waiting and hoping only to be told that the surgery was a bust, had been awful. Regina had cried until the early hours, and not even the talk of a second, more successful surgery had been enough to soothe her. That's when she had vowed that she never wanted another surgery. That she was done with letting people touch her throat.
But she had been angry then. And bitter.
Now the anger had worn off, and Regina supposed she could see the point in exposing herself to a second surgery.
Did she really want Henry to grow up with a mother who couldn't talk?
No. This was not how she wanted him to remember his childhood someday. She didn't want him to look back and think of how other mothers told their children that she loved them whereas his own mother hadn't been capable of doing so.
If she needed reason to do it, this was the main one. Henry. Because he didn't deserve a mother who couldn't talk.
She owed it to him to give it a chance.
That would be the motivation if she chose to say yes. Henry. Henry's benefit.
Because deep down, Regina doubted it would work. She had lost faith in the doctors when the first surgery failed.
And she was scared of the pain afterwards. She was scared of the sedative. And she was scared of being stuck in a hospital room with only her thoughts as entertainment.
She was pulled out of her musings when a prickling sensation on the side of her neck told her that Emma was watching her. Or more specifically, looking at the website. Regina turned her head and caught Emma 'red-handed'. But she was not upset. She was more interested in knowing what Emma thought about it. She raised an eyebrow.
Emma misunderstood. She averted her eyes and looked at her hands. "Sorry."
No apologies required. Regina turned the laptop slightly to show Emma that she didn't mind it. She was more than welcome to look. Regina had promised herself that if they could start over, there should be no secrets. And why not start that rule right now?
Emma inched closer and seemed to be squinting slightly. Regina had noticed that she was not wearing her glasses today. Perhaps she had traded them for contact lenses. Regina too looked at the laptop screen. Zeroed in on the sentence: 'An adjustable laryngeal implant made of titanium has been developed for the treatment of unilateral vocal cord paralysis.' It sounded so clinical. 'Unilateral vocal cord paralyses'. Just a fancy way of describing that she wasn't able to say a word. When Emma looked up again, Regina lightly pointed to the laptop screen and then back to her throat. She hoped the gesture was enough to put Emma up to speed.
And it was. "That's the operation you're having?"
Regina nodded in confirmation and glanced around for a way to communicate. She had left her phone downstairs on the table.
Emma came to her aid. She whipped out the stack of post-it notes and the pen and handed the lot to Regina.
Regina smiled gratefully as she took the items from Emma. Then she began writing on the note. So much better than texting. She took her time because she could see that Emma was reading on the website. Best give her time to do that. But once she could see that Emma was done reading, she gave her the note she had just written ('Yes, they want to give me a permanent implant. My doctor believes that'll restore my voice.').
"But you don't?" Emma guessed as she looked up at Regina.
Ever the perceptive one. Regina offered a light shrug. But she felt like that wasn't answer enough, so she grabbed another post-it from the stack and began writing a new note. It was difficult to discuss the operation with Zelena. She had said a million times that it was up to Regina to decide whether she wanted it or not, but every time she said it, Regina could see the hope in her eyes.
It was difficult to argue with the unsaid.
'Truthfully? No. Not really. I've already been through a number of treatments including voice therapy, injections, and a failed operation. None of those worked, so I'm having some trouble with believing that this one should.' Her faith in the doctors were below zero. It had nothing to do with how much she liked doctor Auburn, it was just that her confidence had suffered a blow when she came out of the sedative fog and the doctor told her that the operation 'didn't pan out as expected'. She gave the note to Emma and was glad she didn't know what she was thinking. If Emma knew just how bleak her thoughts were right now, she surely would have left the room. Wouldn't she?
"Well…" Emma said softly after having read the note and brushed a lock of her long blonde hair behind her ear. "There's gotta be a reason why your doctor thinks it's a good idea, right? I mean, he must believe that it'll work, right?"
Regina didn't bother to correct and tell Emma that her doctor was a woman. Instead she mulled over what Emma had just said. It was optimism, but it was a different kind of optimism than the one Zelena used. And perhaps it was a better one too. But still, Regina was still not completely convinced. She shrugged slightly and wrote underneath: 'yes, I suppose so'.
"When are you... When are you having this operation?" Emma asked carefully and tugged a lock of blonde hair behind her ear again.
Regina grabbed a new post-it note and scribbled eagerly. Normally, she did not like discussing the possible surgery. But discussing it with Emma… that was different. Emma's eyes didn't tell her what the right decision was and what wasn't. She just listened. And sometimes that was all Regina needed. Someone who listened without necessarily telling her what the right thing was to do. 'My throat has to "recover" from the failed operation first, so most likely in a year. Eight months if I'm lucky.' She slipped Emma the note and carefully searched for sharp edges. But she didn't find any. No. It didn't hurt to talk to Emma about this. But it didn't change the fact that she didn't feel particularly lucky. She met Emma's gaze and brought the pencil down to scribble underneath the first message. 'The "failed" operation did give me the ability to whisper a little. It wasn't supposed to cause me pain, though. But still, I suppose I should be grateful for having the ability to whisper when it's absolutely necessary.' Even in writing, she sounded bitter, and she wouldn't blame Emma if she chose to backtrack.
"No, you shouldn't!" it bursted out of Emma. Her voice sounded strong and secure. "You deserve... You deserve so much more than this, Regina! You deserve better than just settling for something that isn't what you had hoped for!"
Oh. Regina tilted her head as she looked at Emma. Oh, Emma. Somehow, she had managed to voice Regina's inner most thoughts completely. Because she was right. Regina DID want more than just 'settling'.
Emma blushed. The rose in her cheeks made those warm feelings swirl within Regina once more. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"
Emma Swan definitely apologized too much. Regina stopped her by putting a hand lightly over hers.
She could get used to holding Emma Swan's hand.
Very, very used to it.
After a moment, she moved her hand away and distracted herself by writing a new message for Emma to read. 'we still have a long time to wait. I saw you brought your laptop with you. Do you think you'll be able to concentrate on your writing while we're here?'
"I'm not sure," Emma said truthfully. "I'm almost done with Twisted Endings, but I don't know if-" she stopped talking. Because Regina started scribbling. Regina knew that she should have waited and let Emma finish first, but she simply had to ask this question. She wanted to know. No. She NEEDED to know about the other story.
Willa.
Helena.
Them.
'And what about the other story? Have you worked more on that?'
"T-the other story?" Emma stuttered. Another faint blush rose in her cheeks, and her eyes flickered nervously.
Regina nodded. She might as well come clean about it. Now was not the time to hide. Now was the time for honesty. She wrote again. 'Yes, the one you left on my doorstep. I'm so sorry I didn't let you in. I should have.' God, should she ever!
"You... You've read that?" Emma squeaked.
Regina nodded in confirmation and noted that Emma was wiping her hands on her jeans. She was nervous when she should be angry with her for not opening the door. Regina bit her lip. Now she wished that Emma was capable of reading her thoughts.
I was there.
I heard you cry, and I wanted to let you in, but I couldn't.
I was too scared.
Don't give up on me.
Please.
"And… And what did you think about it?" the question was mumbled, and Emma's eyes were firmly rooted to the growing stack of post-its between them on the couch. But Regina didn't need to write down a long and detailed answer as to why Emma's story had brought her to tears. That was something that could be said in a simpler way. She slowly reached out and touched Emma's hand lightly. When Emma looked up and Regina was sure she had her attention, she moved her lips and silently formed a single word.
'Beautiful'.
Emma turned beet red at that, and Regina got the funniest urge to reach out and touch the blushing cheek. But again, there was a time and a place for these things. And she was still not completely sure where they stood. Just because they were communicating now, didn't necessarily mean that Emma was interested in more. Perhaps Regina had managed to effectively scare her away for good. Pushed her into the safe friendship-zone.
Regina didn't WANT Emma to be in the friendship zone. That was how sure she was of her feelings now. She knew that she wanted more. A friend was someone you casually met with. Discussed things with. Like she and Mal did. Sometimes those things happened to be relationships, etc.
God, Regina wouldn't be able to stand hearing Emma telling her if she had been on a date with someone.
Regina didn't want Emma to date someone that wasn't her.
But maybe it was too late to hold on.
Maybe she had effectively screwed up and ruined the tiny thing there had been between them.
"So you... You think I should continue writing about Willa and Helena?"
Pulled out of her musings, Regina smiled and nodded. Yes. Absolutely. Write more about Willa and Helena. Tell the world Helena's story. How does it end? Will she get a happy ending?
It was too soon to think of happy endings. To distract herself, Regina wrote a new post-it note. It was time to change the subject. Before things got too heavy. So she asked the first thing coming to mind: 'how much sign language have you been able to learn so far?'
"Not that much," Emma said truthfully and sounded a bit disheartened. "I've tried, but honestly, there hasn't been a lot of time. Things have been pretty... Well, you know."
Did she ever. Regina nodded. Could sense that this was something Emma really wanted. Otherwise she wouldn't have brought that book. An idea formed in her head as words formed on a post-it note. 'If you'd like, I could help you? I'm by no means an expert, but perhaps it would be easier for you if you saw it being done in real life instead of settling for the illustrations?' she hoped she wasn't overstepping some kind of boundary. She had seen Emma sign earlier, and she was sure Emma had a natural flair for Sign Language. But her book was a bit outdated. It was difficult to learn from illustrations. Of course there was always YouTube, but that was tricky too. Regina had watched a ton of Sign Language videos on YouTube, but she had found those difficult too. And too fast.
"That would be awesome!" Emma exclaimed, and her green eyes started to shine in the prettiest way too. "Seriously, I'd appreciate that so much!"
Excellent. There was nothing Regina would want more than to teach Emma a bit of Sign Language. She wrote underneath the first message: 'alright then. Shall we start with a simple question?'
"Yeah!" Emma said eagerly. Her eyes were solely on Regina, and perhaps that should have made Regina nervous, but it did not. She liked when Emma looked at her. And she liked the idea of helping her with something. Even if it was a very small thing. Now she started out by lifting and bending her hands, so her fingertips were facing downwards. Then she moved them in that swift, fluid motion so the tips of her fingers were pointing towards the ceiling. She then pointed lightly to Emma and made sure to lean forward as you always did when asking a question.
Emma frowned. A tiny wrinkle appeared between her eyes, and Regina thought to herself that it looked awfully sweet. "Do you think you could show me again? Just maybe... Slower?" Emma asked.
Regina smiled as she repeated the motion. Bending her hands, fingertips facing downwards, then moving them in a fluid motion, fingertips pointing to the ceiling, and then pointing lightly to Emma. This was one of the benefits of seeing a real person do Sign Language. Adjusting the speed was easier. Regina could move her hands however slow Emma needed her to.
Emma frowned again. "Okay, so it's definitely something about me, yeah?"
Regina nodded her head in confirmation and felt a surge of pride. Emma caught on quickly. Exactly like Regina had suspected that she would.
Emma scratched her chin. "You're... You're asking me a question?"
Exactly. Regina nodded again and felt her smile widening. Hopefully, she didn't look like a lunatic.
"Okay," Emma pursed her lips and ran her fingers through her long blonde locks. Which caused her hair to end up a bit askew. In the nicest way possible.
God, Emma Swan was beautiful! It was almost hard to concentrate when she sat there and looked so lovely.
"You're asking me something." Emma continued and pulled Regina out of her thoughts. "Hmm. Shit. Can I see it again?"
Regina couldn't help but feeling amused as she signed again. Slowly to really give Emma a chance.
She ended up signing the question three times. Emma looked as frustrated as Regina had felt many, many times when she was struggling to learn Sign Language. It was definitely not easy.
"Okay, what does it mean?" Emma asked and most of all sounded like she was giving up.
Regina quickly grabbed a post-it note and wrote down the answer. 'it means: 'how are you?'' she gave the note to Emma.
"Oh," Emma said, nodding a little. "Okay. Could you show me one last time? Please?"
No please's required. Regina willingly signed the question again.
"I'll never forget that one," Emma said firmly.
Regina couldn't stop herself from rumbling in silent laughter. Emma sounded so serious.
"Teach me another?" Emma asked. Now eager. Her eyes were shining.
Regina was willing to teach her as much as she requested. She pursed her lips and considered it for a moment. Then she felt oddly playful for a moment. Smiled as she lifted her hands. Pointed lightly to Emma. Bent her hand and touched her own head with her fingertips. Next, she used her index fingers, thumbs tugged in, and swirled them around in the air in a circular motion before making L-shapes with her thumbs and index fingers, moving her hands away from each other as though she was stretching an invisible thread. Her thumbs were facing each other, and her index fingers were pointing outwards slightly. She did not envision Emma to understand what it meant. It was merely meant as a joke, and she hoped that her attempt at humor wasn't ill timed.
"I didn't understand any of that," Emma said and sounded a bit frustrated. "Are you asking me something again?"
Regina nodded. Either it was a lucky guess, or Emma was a natural when it came to Sign Language.
A tiny wrinkle appeared as Emma furrowed her brow. After a moment she sighed and said: "I need help. What does it mean?"
Regina couldn't help but to feel amused as she scribbled down the answer on a new post-it note. 'it means: do you know sign language?' she gave the note to Emma and hoped that she would appreciate the joke.
Emma did. She half-chuckled as she went: "oh" and: "I'm hoping to." She smiled. "Can you show me another?"
Regina was more than happy to show Emma more Sign Language. She liked this moment. She liked it a lot. She liked Emma a lot. And she wanted Emma to know that. Right now. When she felt brave enough to tell her. There would never be a better moment. She lifted her hands once more. Pointed lightly at herself. Then pinched her thumb and middle finger together, pointing to herself once again. Then using her middle finger to point at Emma. She felt her face growing hot and silently cussed at herself. She was thirty-five. Not a sixteen-year-old blushing schoolgirl, for crying out loud.
She couldn't remember the last time she had blushed.
Couldn't remember the last time someone had made her blush.
It felt foreign.
But good.
Definitely good.
"Alright," Emma frowned (there was that adorable wrinkle between her eyebrows again!) "You're asking me something again?"
Regina shook her head and felt how the flush spread to her neck. Good thing she was wearing a scarf so Emma couldn't see. She was starting to feel ridiculous. But she nevertheless wrote down an answer under the first message. 'I'm not asking you something. I'm telling you something.' Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe her timing was terrible. Maybe she had misunderstood the situation. Maybe they were just sitting here as friends.
"Okay," Emma said and leaned forward slightly. Curiously. And clearly completely unaware of how nervous Regina was. "Show me again?"
Regina willingly did so. Noted that her fingers were trembling slightly as she signed the same sentence. Hoped Emma couldn't see it.
Emma scratched her cheek. "You're telling me something... But you're also pointing to yourself... You're telling me something about... yourself?"
Regina nodded and smiled. Tried not to seem too eager. Or too nervous.
"Yeah?" Emma said. Now she was the one who sounded eager. "I got that right. Okay, you're telling me something that has to do with you... Hmm..." she ran her fingers through her hair. "Argh. This is frustrating. You're telling me something about yourself... Jeez. Okay, I give up. What does it mean?"
Regina tore off another post-it notes. This was it. Confession-time. God, this was more nerve wracking than she ever would have imagined.
Make or break.
Her hands did not shake as she wrote 'I like you' on the note. But the flush was rapidly creeping down her neck. She was surprised that she had not caught on fire yet. She gave the note to Emma before she could get second thoughts about it. The worst thing that could happen was that Emma would reject her.
Ouch.
Oddly enough, it felt like the possible rejection would hurt far more than anything else that had been inflicted upon her.
"Show me again?" Emma asked softly.
Regina lifted her hands and signed 'I like you' one more time. Then she waited. Anxiously. What would happen now? What would Emma say?
Emma didn't say anything. Not a single word. But her actions spoke louder than words. She lifted her hands, pointed to herself, pinched her thumb and middle finger together and then she pointed to Regina.
I like you.
Never had Regina seen Sign Language been done so beautifully. It did not matter that Emma wasn't familiar with Sign Language. Regina understood every word, and she flashed Emma a big smile even though she felt like she could just as well have burst into tears. Emma liked her.
She reached out. Slowly. Hesitantly.
Emma immediately understood and put her hand in hers.
Regina interlaced their fingers again. She had all but forgotten how nice it could be to hold somebody's hand.
This was it.
They were trying again.
"I'd love to learn more," Emma murmured. Her voice was so soft and quiet. Perhaps she was afraid of ruining this moment. "Will you show me more sometimes?"
Regina nodded. Of course she would. She had the strongest urge to ask Emma out on a date. But again, there was a time and a place for that sort of thing, and Regina wanted it to be memorable. And not when they had Liam breathing down their necks.
All in good time.
"This is nice," Emma said. Still quietly.
It was. Regina wholeheartedly agreed with that. And she had all but forgotten the other reason why they had come here. Right now it felt like she had just come here to teach Emma Sign Language. And hold her hand.
But unfortunately, reality was a tiny bit different.
There was another reason for them coming here.
Graham coming into the library sometime later proved that.
Before that, they had communicated pleasantly, but Regina was reminded of the gravity of the situation when the Sheriff appeared.
"I've just spoken to my colleague who's still tailing Liam," Graham said seriously. "He should be here in twenty minutes. Maximum."
The warm, pleasant feeling that had been swirling around in Regina's stomach disappeared so quickly it felt like someone had pulled a plug. She nodded automatically as her head flooded with images of Liam.
She would not allow him to come anywhere near Emma.
"Okay," Emma said. She sounded more timid now, and Regina hated Liam for having that effect on her. Emma had sounded so enthusiastic and upbeat a moment ago. "Is there something you'd like us to do? Should we stay here, or should we go downstairs?"
"I think it's alright if you stay here," Graham said as he switched on a few more lamps and then went over to the window and drew the curtains.
Regina's stomach dropped. She glanced towards the window. Strained her ears and listened although knowing that Liam was not here. Yet. She reached down and tugged the purse into her lap. The gun was still nestled in the bottom of the purse.
"Regina?" Graham said softly.
Regina looked up to show him that she was listening.
"He won't be allowed to get anywhere near you," Graham said firmly. "I'll assure you of that."
Regina believed him. She was not worried. Not about herself. Her main concern was the woman sitting next to her and was currently looking around in the library.
"Nor will he be allowed to escape. Two of my colleagues will be waiting for him. He won't get far," Graham calmly continued.
"So, we're supposed to sit here and just…. Wait?" Emma sounded so on edge. It was jarring.
"Yes," Graham confirmed.
Regina was starting to feel sick. She was not afraid of Liam. But she was afraid of what he represented. WHO he was representing.
Perhaps Killian hadn't directly sent him.
But it felt like it.
Regina fiddled with the zipper on her purse.
"Just stay calm," Graham told them, and Regina almost smiled. Easier said than done. How on earth was she supposed to stay calm knowing that a psychopath was on his way?
She couldn't help but wonder….
Wonder what Liam's plan was.
Suppose this hadn't been a setup? Suppose she and Emma had in fact just been here on a romantic getaway and Liam blindsided them? To do what?
What was his general plan?
Would he attack them?
Try and kill them?
Regina had tried that before.
It wouldn't be the first time a member from the Jones family tried to kill her.
Would she have fought harder this time?
She couldn't scream.
But she could kick and punch.
And she had her gun.
Which she would not hesitate to use if necessary. She trusted Graham. She trusted his officers. But she also trusted her gun. Very, very much.
Bringing it here had been the right decision.
A soft touch to her hand made her flinch and instinctively rip her hand away from the touch. She had not been prepared for that.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I did not mean to frighten you-"
No. No, no, no! No apologies! Regina shook her head rapidly and immediately put her hand down again and gestured for Emma to touch her hand again.
"No," she Emma gently. "Not because you feel guilty. You don't have to pretend, Regina."
Regina could feel her chin wobbling. Could feel her hands shaking. But she could not do anything to stop it. She had no control over her emotions right now.
"Ten minutes away," Graham said quietly.
She couldn't control her breathing either. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Her pulse thudding in her neck. Her palms were too damp. Perhaps it was a good thing Emma wasn't holding her hand right now. Her fingers found the zipper on her purse again. Toying with the zipper was the only thing that kept her sane right now.
Emma moved. Regina could feel that without looking. She was inching closer to her. Regina did not move away. She couldn't. Her body refused to move. But even if she could move, she had a feeling that she would not.
Emma kept her sane too.
Grounded her.
Her fingers tugged at the zipper in her purse again.
There was a clock ticking obnoxiously loudly somewhere in the house.
Right now Regina had the strongest urge to find it and smash it.
Shatter it to a million little pieces.
Tear it apart.
Like her wedding dress.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
God, that clock!
Where was it even?
If she found it, she would make it stop ticking so goddamn loudly!
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Regina was suddenly reminded of the crocodile from Peter Pan. The one who had swallowed a clock.
Everyone was scared when the crocodile approached. Everyone was scared of the ticking noise.
What she wouldn't GIVE for another bottle of champagne!
She tugged at the zipper again.
"Five minutes," Graham quietly informed them.
Regina could feel that Emma was looking at her. But she did not return the gaze. Couldn't. She was only looking at the door. Waiting for the moment it swung open and Liam came barging inside.
She was aware of what Emma was doing, though. Was aware that she was clenching her plaster-clad hand. Was she preparing for a fight?
If this had been a romantic getaway and Liam had shown up, would Emma had fought him?
The thought alone was making Regina sick.
She didn't want Emma to fight anyone.
And certainly not because of her.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She suddenly realized that it was the grandfather clock in the corner that was making the sound.
If she had been capable of moving, she would have made it stop.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
Regina grabbed her purse a bit tighter.
Next to her, Graham muttered something and adjusted the microphone he was wearing in his ears. Regina wondered if he was wearing a bullet-proof vest under his jacket as well.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
One of the officers roaming about downstairs made a sound, and Regina's breath hitched in her throat. She let out a dry cough. Was not given time to settle before she heard another sound. One that didn't come from inside the house. But from outside.
Tires in the gravel. A car pulling up in front of the log house.
He was here.
Regina's head snapped up and she instinctively unzipped her purse and thrusted one hand inside it. Her fingers gripped the handle of the gun.
Emma inched closer.
Graham put a finger on his lips to indicate for them to be quiet.
The reminder felt like magnificent irony to Regina.
She could not be anything but silent.
Right now she wished it was her hearing and not her voice she had lost.
She could hear EVERYTHING.
A car door being closed quietly. Liam was clearly aiming for a blitz attack.
Footsteps in the gravel. Footsteps coming up the porch.
Glass breaking.
Regina jumped a little.
That beautiful window her father had been so proud of.
Now Liam had ruined it.
That hurt even though he was supposed to break it and be busted for breaking and entering.
Liam was walking around downstairs. Those characteristic, heavy footsteps. Regina would recognize those everywhere. He was looking for them. Now he was upstairs. Opening all the doors and checking every room.
Regina's body went stiff. An iron band sat tight around her chest.
It was difficult to breathe.
Behind the door, Graham signalized to Emma.
Emma coughed and cleared her throat like she was supposed to.
The footsteps got louder and louder.
Regina squeezed the handle of the gun so hard her knuckles hurt.
The door to the library was swung open, but all Regina could hear was the sound of the grandfather-clock ticking in the corner.
Liam was here.
Standing before them in black jeans and hoodie. And gloves. His curly hair was longer than Regina had ever seen it. His stubble ditto. He looked awful.
"Well, well." Liam approached them slowly. A long blade glinted faintly in his hand. So he had come prepared after all.
He had not come here just to scare them.
He had come to kill them.
He was a psychopath.
Exactly like his brother.
"There you are," Liam drawled. "You certainly weren't easy to find!"
Regina looked at him. Really looked at him. He looked pathetic. His glare was underwhelming. Regina would have been ten times more afraid of Emma's glare if it had been aimed at her.
Liam switched focus and looked at her instead. His thin lips curled into a smile. "Hello again, Regina. Nice to see you again, my brother sends his love." He licked his lips. "He'll be so happy when he finds out that I managed to give his fiancé his greeting-"
Graham emerged from behind the door. Lunged at Liam and grabbed him harshly. Liam tried to fight him off, but Graham was stronger. And Liam had not been prepared for a fight.
"Liam Jones, you're under arrest for violating the restraining order filed against you, breaking and entering, vandalism, threats, the theft of the master key belonging to Mrs. Eugenia Wolf, and..." Graham plucked the knife out of Liam's hand. "Carrying a weapon."
Liam hissed something inaudible and struggled once more.
Graham called out to the other two officers and they came storming into the library. In a matter of seconds, Liam was sufficiently surrounded. And handcuffed.
But that didn't prevent him from throwing a fit. He hissed like the snake he was and tried to wiggle free of Graham's grip. He glared at Regina. Then Emma. "Are you fucking her? You should tell her to get on her knees, she's so much better when she's on her knees, just ask my broth-"
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Emma jumped to her feet. She lunged at Liam and would have attacked him if Regina hadn't gotten up from the couch with her. She gripped Emma's arm to prevent her from doing something really stupid. Liam was not worth it. It was admirable that Emma wanted to defend her honor like this, but Liam was not worthy of her anger.
His stupid comment didn't faze Regina.
She had endured far worse than that.
"That's enough," Graham said firmly. "I assure you, miss Swan, he's not worth it!"
The two officers firmly held Liam back, but he was still not done. He groaned and hissed and glared at Regina with so much venom in his eyes, Regina was surprised she wasn't turned into a pile of burned bones.
You bitch! You fucking whore!" Liam roared. "You ruined my brother's life, do you know that?! He should have fucking killed you when he had the chance!"
Regina didn't bother reacting to that. She simply looked at Liam. Stared directly into his eyes without flinching. Exactly like she had planned on doing. Silently communicating what she could not say.
I am alive.
Your brother didn't kill me.
How can you not be ashamed of him?
How does it feel to be trapped?
Horrible, isn't it?
I am alive. And as free as I can be. But you… You are going to prison.
Without breaking the eye contact with Liam, Regina very slowly raised her middle finger in a gesture she wouldn't normally use. She steely held Liam's attention and then formed two words she wouldn't have said even if she was able to talk.
Fuck you.
Liam made a sound that was positively animalistic and tried his best to get closer to her. But to no avail he was trapped. Stuck. Exactly like she had been by his brother.
Justice at last.
"Get him out of here!" Graham said sternly.
And so Liam was dragged out of the library by the two officers. Both of them told him to shut up. He kept yelling profanity all the way down the stairs and out of the log house.
Emma ran over to the window and lifted the blinds. Regina stretched her neck and looked out of the window. Saw Liam being placed in the squad car. She heard the door being slammed shut behind him. Heard the squad car drive him away and effectively remove him from both hers and Emma's lives.
It was over.
"We got him," Graham said, making Emma turn around once more.
"Yeah," she said plainly and shoved her hands down her pockets.
"Good work," the sheriff said. "Thanks to you, we got our man."
And out of nowhere, Regina was suddenly overwhelmed by nausea. She cupped a hand over her mouth, leapt from the couch and then rushed out of the library as fast as her legs could carry her.
In the bathroom, she splashed cold water onto her forehead and wrists. She didn't actually end up getting sick. Instead she hunched over the sink and took deep gulps of air as she tried to calm down.
It was over.
Liam was gone.
He would never be bothering her again.
Or Emma.
She was free.
Emma would never have to be afraid or look over her shoulder again.
She could finally start that new life she had talked so much about.
At last.
God.
Regina reached within the cabinet above the sink and found one of the little glasses she kept in there. Poured herself a glass of water and drank eagerly. She felt absolutely parched. Dried out. And out of breath. Her heart was still thudding, but it had slowed down some.
Once she was done drinking, she leaned back against the door and closed her eyes for a moment. She was here. And Liam was gone. For good. The Jones-brothers would never torment her again. At least not physically. That was all that mattered. The rest she could live with. And be grateful.
Now that the mission was over, there was no reason to linger.
Except there was.
Regina sank to the floor and found the pencil and two blank post-it notes she had stuffed into the pocket of her skirt a little earlier. Sitting on the cool bathroom floor, she quickly wrote a note. 'I'm going to stay here one more day and have Zelena picking me up tomorrow. If I leave tonight, I won't be able to come back here without thinking about Liam, and I don't want that to happen. This is my place, and I deserve to feel safe here.' She had decided that a little while ago. She didn't want this place to be tarnished forever by what had happened tonight. She deserved to feel safe here. And she could only achieve that by staying.
She found her phone in her pocket and wrote a message to her sister. 'It's done. Liam is gone.'
The answer came immediately. 'Oh, thank god! Are you okay?'
'Yes. I'm exhausted. But okay.' As okay as she could be right now. Definitely not in any condition to be in a car for four hours. She texted Zelena and informed her of that, and Zelena understood. Understood that Regina needed to reclaim the log house.
Regina stayed on the bathroom floor until her heart rate slowed down to something that almost felt normal.
She returned to the library just as Graham did. "I better get back to Steveston and begin the rapport," he said. "The sooner I get started, the better."
"Yeah," Emma said. "I suppose we better get going too..."
Regina reached within the pocket of her skirt and found the note she had written in the bathroom.
"I get that," Emma said gently and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before saying: "how about if I took you home tomorrow instead of Zelena?"
Regina raised an eyebrow. Really? Emma wanted to stay here after what had happened? Had Regina been in her shoes, she probably would have chosen to leave as soon as possible.
But Emma was not like most people.
Regina had already seen proof of that many, many times.
"I'm exhausted," Emma said quietly. "And the thought about having to drive all the way back to Steveston tonight is, well... you know. But if you want to be here on your own, I totally get that."
Did she really? Regina didn't think Emma looked completely convinced.
Regina reached within her pocket again. This time she grabbed her phone and wrote a message: 'you can stay. I can understand why you're exhausted.' She turned the screen towards Emma.
"Thank you," Emma said, voice oozing with gratefulness.
"Alright then," Graham said. "I'll be taking off now. Thank you both for your help tonight.
Regina flashed him a little smile.
"It's a relief that he's gone," Emma said.
Graham once again thanked them and expressed that he hoped they would be able to get some sleep tonight. Then he left with the promise to send out someone to fix the broken window.
Regina heard him drive away. Now they were alone. She sat down on the couch and tipped her head back. Closed her eyes. Felt how her shoulders unclenched. Liam had not managed to tarnish this place with his presence.
It still felt like hers.
Only hers.
Still her safe place.
"Regina?"
The gentle voice brought Regina back to the current situation. She lifted her head and opened her eyes.
"You... You have a gun in your purse," Emma said quietly.
Oh. She had found the gun. Regina wasn't quite sure how, but she had. There was no point in denying it. She nodded and leaned forward to grab one of the post-its from the table. She pushed her hair away from her eyes and began writing. 'I have permission to carry a gun. Graham knows of its existence.' She was too exhausted to properly hand the note to Emma. She just laid it down on the table and then leaned back once more.
"And does he know that the gun is here tonight?" Emma asked.
Regina shook her head. Felt a sliver of guilt. Perhaps she should have told Graham that she had brought it.
"Okay," Emma said plainly. No judging. No further question. Just one accepting word. She walked over to the couch and sat down next to Regina. "He's gone. He won't come back. You know that, right?"
Oh, how she did know that. Regina nodded again. Reached out and gave Emma's hand a gentle pat. Liam was gone. But Emma was here. And that was all that mattered right now.
As Emma dozed off, Regina quietly rose from the couch and went over to the grandfather-clock in the corner.
She made it stop ticking.
She stopped time.
Time did not matter right now.
Not when Emma had fallen asleep on the couch and looked so beautiful...
To Be Continued…