ELSA'S POV
We sat there all night long, statues of horror and grief, and Alice never came back.
We were all at our limits - frenzied into absolute stillness. Frederic had barely been able to move his lips to explain it all to Honeymaren. The retelling seemed to make it worse; even Cassandra stood silent and still from then on.
It wasn't until the sun rose and I knew that Eleazar would soon be stirring under my hands that I wondered for the first time what could possibly be taking Alice so long. I'd hoped to know more before I was faced with my Son's curiosity. To have some answers. Some tiny, tiny portion of hope so that I could smile and keep the truth from terrifying her, too.
My face felt permanently set into the fixed mask it had worn all night. I wasn't sure I had the ability to smile anymore.
Honeymaren was snoring in the corner, a mountain of fur on the floor, twitching anxiously in her sleep. Kristoff knew everything - the wolves were readying themselves for what was coming. Not that this preparation would do anything but get them killed with the rest of my family.
The sunlight broke through the back windows, sparkling on Anna's skin. My eyes had not moved from her since Alice's departure. We'd stared at each other all night, staring at what neither of us could live through losing: the other. I saw my reflection glimmer in her agonized eyes as the sun touched my own skin.
Her eyebrows moved an infinitesimal bit, then her lips.
"Alice," she said.
The sound of her voice was like ice cracking as it melted. All of us fractured a little, softened a little. Moved again.
"She's been gone a long time,"Rapunzel murmured, surprised.
"Where could she be?" Cassandra wondered, taking a step toward the door.
Arianna put a hand on her arm. "We don't want to disturb ..."
"She's never taken so long before," Anna said. New worry splintered the mask her face had become. Her features were alive again, her eyes suddenly wide with fresh fear, extra panic. "Frederic, you don't think - something preemptive? Would Alice have had time to see if they sent someone for her?"
Aro's translucent-skinned face filled my head. Aro, who had seen into all the corners of Alice's mind, who knew everything she was capable of -
Cassandra cussed loud enough that How lurched to her feet with a growl. In the yard, her growl was echoed by her pack. My family was already a blur of action.
"Stay with Eleazar " I all but shrieked at Honeymaren as I sprinted through the door.
I was still stronger than the rest of them, and I used that strength to push myself forward. I overtook Arianna in a few bounds, and Rapunzel in just a few strides more. I raced through the thick forest until I was right behind Anna and Frederic.
"Would they have been able to surprise her?" Frederic asked, his voice as even as if he were standing motionless rather than running at full speed.
"I don't see how," Anna answered. "But Aro knows her better than anyone else. Better than I do."
"Is this a trap?" Cassandra called from behind us.
"Maybe," Anna said. "There's no scent but Alice and Jasper. Where were they going?"
Alice and Jasper's trail was curling into a wide arc; it stretched first east of the house, but headed north on the other side of the river, and then back west again after a few miles. We recrossed the river, all six jumping within a second of each other. Anna ran in the lead, her concentration total.
"Did you catch that scent?" Arianna called ahead a few moments after we'd leaped the river for the second time. She was the farthest back, on the far left edge of our hunting party. She gestured to the southeast.
"Keep to the main trail - we're almost to the Quileute border," Anna ordered tersely. "Stay together. See if they turned north or south."
I was not as familiar with the treaty line as the rest of them, but I could smell the hint of wolf in the breeze blowing from the east. Anna and Frederic slowed a little out of habit, and I could see their heads sweep from side to side, waiting for the trail to turn.
Then the wolf smell was suddenly stronger, and Anna's head snapped up. She came to a sudden stop. The rest of us froze, too.
"Kristoff?" Anna asked in a flat voice. "What is this?"
Kristoff came through the trees a few hundred yards away, walking quickly toward us in his human form, flanked by two big wolves - Paul and Jared. It took Kristoff a while to reach us; his human pace made me impatient. I didn't want time to think about what was happening. I wanted to be in motion, to be doing something. I wanted to have my arms around Alice, to know beyond a doubt that she was safe.
I watched Anna's face go absolutely white as she read what Kristoff was thinking. Kristoff ignored her, looking straight at Frederic as he stopped walking and began to speak.
"Right after midnight, Alice and Jasper came to this place and asked permission to cross our land to the ocean. I granted them that and escorted them to the coast myself. They went immediately into the water and did not return. As we journeyed, Alice told me it was of the utmost importance that I say nothing to Honeymaren about seeing her until I spoke to you. I was to wait here for you to come looking for her and then give you this note. She told me to obey her as if all our lives depended on it."
Kristoff's face was grim as he held out a folded sheet of paper, printed all over with small black text. It was a page out of a book; my sharp eyes read the printed words as Frederic unfolded it to see the other side. The side facing me was the copyright page from The Merchant of Venice. A hint of my own scent blew off of it as Frederic shook the paper flat. I realized it was a page torn from one of my books. I'd brought a few things from Agnarr's house to the cottage; a few sets of normal clothes, all the letters from my mother, and my favorite books. My tattered collection of Shakespeare paperbacks had been on the bookshelf in the cottage's little living room yesterday morning...
"Alice has decided to leave us," Frederic whispered.
"What?" Rapunzel cried.
Frederic turned the page around so that we all could read.
Don't look for us. There isn't time to waste. Remember; Tareas, Siobhan, Amun, Alistair, all the nomads you can find. We'll seek out Peter and Charlotte on our way. We're so sorry that we have to leave you this way, with no goodbyes or explanations. It's the only way for us. We love you.
We stood frozen again, the silence total but for the sound of the wolves' heartbeats, their breathing. Their thoughts must have been loud, too. Anna was first to move again, speaking in response to what she heard in Kristoff's head.
"Yes, things are that dangerous."
"Enough that you would abandon your family?" Kristoff asked out loud, censure in his tone. It was clear that he had not read the note before giving it to Frederic. He was upset now, looking as if he regretted listening to Alice.
Anna's expression was stiff - to Kristoff it probably looked angry or arrogant, but I could see the shape of pain in the hard planes of her face.
"We don't know what she saw," Anna said. "Alice is neither unfeeling nor a coward. She just has more information than we do."
"He wouldn't not - ," Kristoff began.
"You are bound differently than we are," Anna snapped. "we each still have our free will."
Kristoff's chin jerked up, and his eyes looked suddenly flat black.
"But you should heed the warning," Anna went on. "This is not something you want to involve yourselves in.
You can still avoid what Alice saw."
Kristoff smiled grimly. "We don't run away." Behind him, Paul snorted.
"Don't get your family slaughtered for pride," Frederic interjected quietly.
Anna looked at Frederic with a softer expression. "As Anna pointed out, we don't have the same kind of freedom that you have. Eleazar is as much as part of our family now as he is yours. Honeymaren cannot abandon him, and we cannot abandon her." His eyes flickered to Alice's note, and his lips pressed into a thinline.
"You don't know her," Anna said.
"Do you?" Kristoff asked bluntly.
Frederic put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "We have much to do, Anna. Whatever Alice's decision, we would be foolish not to follow her advice now. Let's go home and get to work."
Anna nodded, her face still rigid with pain. Behind me, I could hear Arianna quiet, tearless sobs.
I didn't know how to cry in this body; I couldn't do anything but stare. There was no feeling yet. Everything seemed unreal, like I was dreaming again after all these months. Having a nightmare.
"Thank you, Kristoff," Honeymaren said.
"I'm sorry," Kristoff answered. "We shouldn't have let her through."
"You did the right thing," Frederic told him. "Alice is free to do what she will. I wouldn't deny her that liberty."
I'd always thought of the Cullens as a whole, an indivisible unit. Suddenly, I remembered that it had not always been so. Frederic had created Anna, Arianna, Rapunzel and Cassandra; Anna had created me. We were physically linked by blood and venom. I never thought of Alice and Jasper as separate - as adopted into the family. But in truth, Alice had adopted the Cullens. She had shown up with her unconnected past, bringing Jasper with his, and fit herself into the family that was already there. Both she and Jasper had known another life outside the Cullen family. Had she really chosen to lead another new life after she'd seen that life with the Cullens was over?
We were doomed, then, weren't we? There was no hope at all. Not one ray, one flicker that might have convinced Alice she had a chance at our side.
The bright morning air seemed thicker suddenly, blacker, as if physically darkened by my despair.
"I'm not going down without a fight," Cassandra snarled low under his breath. "Alice told us what to do. Let's get it done."
The others nodded with determined expressions, and I realized that they were banking on whatever chance Alice had given us. That they were not going to give in to hopelessness and wait to die.
Yes, we all would fight. What else was there? And apparently we would involve others, because Alice had said so before she'd left us. How could we not follow Alice's last warning? The wolves, too, would fight with us for Eleazar.
We would fight, they would fight, and we all would die.
I didn't feel the same resolve the others seemed to feel. Alice knew the odds. She was giving us the only chance she could see, but the chance was too slim for her to bet on it.
I felt already beaten as I turned my back on Kristoff's critical face and followed Honeymaren toward home.
We ran automatically now, not the same panicked hurry as before. As we neared the river, Arianna's head lifted.
"There was that other trail. It was fresh."
She nodded forward, toward where she had called Anna's attention on the way here. While we were racing to save Alice...
"It has to be from earlier in the day. It was just Alice, without Jasper," Anna said lifelessly.
Arianna's face puckered, and she nodded.
I drifted to the right, falling a little behind. I was sure Anna was right, but at the same time... After all, how had Alice's note ended up on a page from my book?
"Elsa?" Anna asked in an emotionless voice as I hesitated.
"I want to follow the trail," I told her, smelling the light scent of Alice that led away from her earlier flight path, i was new to this, but it smelled exactly the same to me, just minus the scent of Jasper.
Anna's golden eyes were empty. "It probably just leads back to the house."
"Then I'll meet you there."
At first I thought she would let me go alone, but then, as I moved a few steps away, her blank eyes flickered to life.
"I'll come with you," she said quietly. "Well meet you at home, Frederic."
Frederic nodded, and the others left. I waited until they were out of sight, and then I looked at Anna questioningly.
"I couldn't let you walk away from me," she explained in a low voice. "It hurt just to imagine it."
I understood without more explanation than that. I thought of being divided from her now and realized I would have felt the same pain, no matter how short the separation.
There was so little time left to be together.
I held my hand out to her, and she took it.
"Let's hurry," she said. "Eleazar will be awake."
I nodded, and we were running again.
It was probably a silly thing, to waste the time away from Eleazar just for curiosity's sake. But the note bothered me. Alice could have carved the note into a boulder or tree trunk if she lacked writing utensils. She could have stolen a pad of Post-its from any of the houses by the highway. Why my book? When did she get it?
Sure enough, the trail led back to the cottage by a circuitous route that stayed far clear of the Cullens' house and the wolves in the nearby woods. Anna's brows tightened in confusion as it became obvious where the trail led.
She tried to reason it out. "She left Jasper to wait for her and came here?"
We were almost to the cottage now, and I felt uneasy. I was glad to have Anna's hand in mine, but I also felt as if I should be here alone. Tearing out the page and carrying it back to Jasper was such an odd thing for Alice to do. It felt like there was a message in her action - one I didn't understand at all. But it was my book, so the message must be for me. If it were something she wanted Anna to know, wouldn't she have pulled a page from one of her
books... ?
"Give me just a minute," I said, pulling my hand free as we got to the door.
Her forehead creased. "Elsa?"
"Please? Thirty seconds."
I didn't wait for her to answer. I darted through the door, pulling it shut behind me. I went straight to the bookshelf. Alice's scent was fresh - less than a day old. A fire that I had not set burned low but hot in the fireplace. I yanked The Merchant of Venice off the shelf and flipped it open to the title page.
There, next to the feathered edge left by the torn page, under the words The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare, was a note.
Destroy this.
Below that was a name and an address in Seattle.
When Anna came through the door after only thirteen seconds rather than thirty, I was watching the book burn.
"What's going on, Elsa?"
"She was here. She ripped a page out of my book to write her note on."
"Why?"
"I don't know why."
"Why are you burning it?"
"I - I - " I frowned, letting all my frustration and pain show on my face. I did not know what Alice was trying to tell me, only that she'd gone to great lengths to keep it from anyone but me. The one person whose mind Anna could not read. So she must want to keep her in the dark, and it was probably for a good reason. "It seemed appropriate."
"We don't know what she's doing," she said quietly.
I stared into the flames. I was the only person in the world who could lie to Anna. Was that what Alice wanted from me? Her last request?
"When we were on the plane to Italy," I whispered - this was not a lie, except perhaps in context - "on our way to rescue you... she lied to Jasper so that he wouldn't come after us. She knew that if he faced the Volturi, he would die. She was willing to die herself rather than put him in danger. Willing for me to die, too. Willing for you to die."
Anna didn't answer.
"She has her priorities," I said. It made my still heart ache to realize that my explanation did not feel like a lie in any way.
"I don't believe it," Anna said. She didn't say it like she was arguing with me - she said it like she was arguing with herself. "Maybe it was just Jasper in danger. Her plan would work for the rest of us, but he'd be lost if he stayed.
Maybe..."
"She could have told us that. Sent him away."
"But would Jasper have gone? Maybe she's lying to him again."
"Maybe," I pretended to agree. "We should go home. There's no time."
Anna took my hand, and we ran.
Alice's note did not make me hopeful. If there were any way to avoid the coming slaughter, Alice would have stayed. I couldn't see another possibility. So it was something else she was giving me. Not a way to escape. But what else would she think that I wanted? Maybe a way to salvage something? Was there anything I could still save?
Frederic and the others had not been idle in our absence. We'd been separated from them for all of five minutes, and they were already prepared to leave. In the corner, Kristoff was human again, with Eleazar on his lap, both of them watching us with wide eyes.
Rapunzel had traded her silk tux for a sturdy-looking pair of jeans, running shoes, and a button-down shirt made of the thick weave that backpackers used for long trips. Arianna was dressed similarly. There was a globe on the coffee table, but they were done looking at it, just waiting for us.
The atmosphere was more positive now than before; it felt good to them to be in action. Their hopes
were pinned on Alice's instructions.
I looked at the globe and wondered where we were headed first.
"We're to stay here?" Anna asked, looking at Frederic. She didn't sound happy.
"Alice said that we would have to show people Eleazar, and we would have to be careful about it," Frederic said. "We'll send whomever we can find back here to you - Anna, you'll be the best at fielding that particular minefield."
Anna gave one sharp nod, still not happy. "There's a lot of ground to cover."
"We're splitting up," Cassandra answered. "Rapunzel and I are hunting for nomads."
"You'll have your hands full here," Frederic said. "Tareas's family will be here in the morning, and they have no idea why. First, you have to persuade them not to react the way Ivan did. Second, you've got to find out what Alice meant about Elena. Then, after all that, will they stay to witness for us? It will start again as the others come - if we can persuade anyone to come in the first place." Frederic sighed. "Your job may well be the hardest. We'll be back to help as soon as we can."
Frederic put his hand on Anna's shoulder for a second and then kissed my forehead. Arianna hugged us both, and Cassandra punched us both on the arm. Rapunzel forced a hard smile for Anna and me, blew a kiss to Eleazar, and then gave Honeymaren a parting grimace.
"Good luck," Anna told them.
"And to you," Frederic said. "We'll all need it."
I watched them leave, wishing I could feel whatever hope bolstered them, and wishing I could be alone with the computer for just a few seconds. I had to figure out who this J. Jenks person was and why Alice had gone to such
lengths to give his name to only me.
Eleazar twisted in Frederic arms to touch his cheek.
"I don't know if Frederic's friends will come. I hope so. Sounds like we're a little outnumbered right now," Honeymaren murmured to Eleazar.
So he knew. Eleazar already understood only too clearly what was going on. The whole imprinted-werewolf-gives-the-object-of-his-imprinting-whatever-she-wants thing was getting old pretty fast. Wasn't shielding her more important than answering her questions?
I looked carefully at her face. He did not look frightened, only anxious and very serious as she conversed with Honeymaren in his silent way.
"No, we can't help; we've got to stay here," she went on. "People are coming to see you, not the scenery."
Eleazar frowned at her.
"No, I don't have to go anywhere," she said to him, Then she looked at Anna, her face stunned by the realization that he might be wrong. "Do I?"
Anna hesitated.
"Spit it out," Honeymaren said, her voice raw with tension. she was right at his breaking point, just like the rest of us.
"The vampires who are coming to help us are not the same as we are," Anna said. "Tareas's family is the only one besides ours with a reverence for human life, and even they don't think much of werewolves. I think it might be safer - "
"I can take care of myself," Honeymaren interrupted.
"Safer for Eleazar," Anna continued, "if the choice to believe our story about her is not tainted by an association with werewolves."
"Some friends. They'd turn on you just because of who you hang out with now?"
"I think they would mostly be tolerant under normal circumstances. But you need to understand- accepting Elson will not be a simple thing for any of them. Why make it even the slightest bit harder?"
Frederic had explained the laws about immortal children to Honeymaren last night. "The immortal children were really that bad?" she asked.
"You can't imagine the depth of the scars they've left in the collective vampire psyche."
"Anna..." It was still odd to hear Honeymaren use Anna's name without bitterness.
"I know, Honeymaren. I know how hard it is to be away from him. We'll play it by ear - see how they react to him. In any case, Elson is going to have to be incognito off and on in the next few weeks. He'll need to stay at the cottage until the right moment for us to introduce him. As long as you keep a safe distance from the main house ..."
"I can do that. Company in the morning, huh?"
"Yes. The closest of our friends. In this particular case, it's probably better if we get things out in the open as soon as possible. You can stay here. Tareas knows about you. he's even met Olaf."
"You should tell Kristoff what's going on. There might be strangers in the woods soon."
"Good point. Though I owe him some silence after last night."
"Listening to Alice is usually the right thing."
Kristoff's teeth ground together, and I could see that he shared Kristoff's feelings about what Alice and Jasper had done.
While they were talking, I wandered toward the back windows, trying to look distracted and anxious. Not a difficult thing to do. I leaned my head against the wall that curved away from the living room toward the dining room, right next to one of the computer desks. I ran my fingers against the keys while staring into the forest, trying to make it look like an absentminded thing. Did vampires ever do things absentmindedly? I didn't think anyone was paying particular attention to me, but I didn't turn to make sure. The monitor glowed to life. I stroked my fingers across the keys again. Then I drummed them very quietly on the wooden desktop, just to make it seem random. Another stroke across the keys.
I scanned the screen in my peripheral vision.
No J. Jenks, but there was a Jason Jenks. A lawyer. I brushed the keyboard, trying to keep a rhythm, like the preoccupied stroking of a cat you'd all but forgotten on your lap. Jason Jenks had a fancy website for his firm, but the address on the homepage was wrong. In Seattle, but in a different zip code. I noted the phone number and then stroked the keyboard in rhythm. This time I searched the address, but nothing at all came up, as if the address didn't exist. I wanted to look at a map, but I decided I was pushing my luck. One more brush, to delete the history_
I continued staring out the window and brushed the wood a few times. I heard light footsteps crossing the floor to me, and I turned with what I hoped was the same expression as before.
Eleazar reached for me, and I held my arms open. She launched herself into them, smelling strongly of werewolf, and nestled her head against my neck.
I didn't know if I could stand this. As much as I feared for my life, for Anna's, for the rest of my family's, it was not the same as the gut-wrenching terror I felt for my Son. There had to be a way to save him, even if that was the only thing I could do.
Suddenly, I knew that this was all I wanted anymore. The rest I would bear if I had to, but not her life being forfeited. Not that.
He was the one thing I simply had to save.
Would Alice have known how I would feel?
Eleazar's hand touched my cheek lightly.
He showed me my own face, Anna's, Honeymaren's, Rapunzel's Arianna's, Frederic's, Alice's, Jasper's, flipping through all our family's faces faster and faster. Olaf and Liam. Agnarr, Sue, and Billy. Over and over again. Worrying, like the rest of us were. He was only worrying, though. Honeymaren had kept the worst from him as far as I could tell. The part about how we had no hope, how we all were going to die in a month's time.
He settled on Alice's face, longing and confused. Where was Alice?
"I don't know," I whispered. "But she's Alice. She's doing the right thing, like always."
The right thing for Alice, anyway. I hated thinking of her that way, but how else could the situation be understood?
Eleazar sighed, and the longing intensified.
"I miss her, too."
I felt my face working, trying to find the expression that went with the grief inside. My eyes felt strange and dry; they blinked against the uncomfortable feeling. I bit my lip. When I took my next breath, the air hitched in my throat, like I was choking on it.
Eleazar pulled back to look at me, and I saw my face mirrored in her thoughts and in her eyes. I looked like Arianna had this morning.
So this was what it felt like to cry.
Eleazar's eyes glistened wetly as he watched my face. he stroked my face, showing me nothing, just trying to soothe me.
I'd never thought to see the mother-Son bond reversed between us, the way it had always been for Iduna and me. But I hadn't had a very clear view of the future.
A tear welled up on the edge of Eleazar's eye. I wiped it away with a kiss. He touched his eye in amazement and then looked at the wetness on his fingertip.
"Don't cry," I told Him. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be fine. I will find you a way through this."
If there was nothing else I could do, I would still save my Eleazar. I was more positive than ever that this was what Alice would give me. He would know. he would have left me a way.
Author's notes: i blame this all on lvan, this is all his fault if he just let them explain that Eleazar was not immortal child, he would have gone to the Volturi i'm not saying that i hate him i just think he's a bit selfish