From Scratch

by Marie Goos

The Dragon Warrior has finally brought peace to the Valley, and to Shifu- although, with an old flame's return, Tai Lung alive and less than repentant, and the threat of war looming over China, you could have fooled him. Sequel to Blue Plate Special.

31. Rice is Born in Water and Must Die

Chapter 31: Rice is Born in Water and Must Die in Wine

---

Yan-Yan sighed, rubbing at her tired eyes. All four of her granddaughters had finally gotten to sleep for the evening, not that it hadn't been an epic struggle. She hoped her daughter appreciated the help because she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep up with the little darlings. And with another one on the way... Well, they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

She couldn't sleep after everything that had happened, so she grabbed a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet, along with some cups, and headed into Chen's studio. As she'd expected, he was awake, sitting on his massive desk and staring at a painting he'd pulled from storage. Yan-Yan stood behind him, squinting at the painting in the low light of a single lantern. It was a portrait, depicting a beautiful brown-furred rat strolling through a garden of peonies. She wore a lush red hanfu patterned in white peonies, though the flowers of her dress were small and delicate enough not to clash with the ones painted in the garden.

Chen abruptly rolled the painting up and set it aside. "Whatsamatter?" he asked shortly.

Yan-Yan set the smaller cup down on his desk and filled it with wine. "I just needed a drink with someone."

"Hmph," he grunted, then downed the wine she'd poured him.

"What, you think I'm getting too emotional?" She filled her own cup, but sipped at it slowly. She didn't need to get sloppy drunk, she just needed to unwind.

"Pull up a chair," Chen said with a sigh, then sat down on the edge of his desk. "And gimme a refill."

Yan-Yan followed his instructions, though she couldn't say she found it terribly relaxing to try to lounge in one of his stiff wooden chairs. "Promise me we'll get some chair cushions made up soon."

"I promise," he replied placidly, which was a sure sign that he was feeling mopey.

She couldn't blame him. He had always been like a grandfather to her daughters, and he loved her grandchildren as if they were his own family. It must have hurt him deeply to witness Ziying's injury and Yiliang's escape from her husband. "Who was in the painting?" she asked.

Chen hesitated a moment, then sipped at his wine again. "Student of mine."

Yan-Yan eyed the scroll, well-preserved but yellowing around the edges. It was clearly several decades old. "Which one?"

"Ah, c'mon," he grumbled, which answered her question well enough.

"That's the woman," she concluded flatly, frowning at the scroll. "The one you had an affair with." Her stomach churned at the thought. It was the only thing Chen had done that she'd never been able to understand or forgive, and it had happened before she'd even been born. She tried to remind herself that Chen had changed in the years since, and was nothing like her ex-husband. "Why do men do that? Why do they make women commit their whole lives to them and then run around with someone else?"

"Yan-Yan," he warned, glaring at her.

"No, really," she insisted, because she was feeling especially bitter and angry after her family had been hurt. "Tell me."

"How'm I supposed to know all that?" he grumbled, then glanced back down at the scroll. "I only know my own reasons."

Yan-Yan finished her wine and put her cup down with a loud clack. "I want to hear about it."

"Why d'ya wanna hear this shit alluva sudden?"

"It's for myself," she answered. "Catharsis." She rubbed at her eyes again, leaning against the edge of the desk. "You did the same thing my ex did. It was the worst thing anyone's ever done to me, and I just... I don't like knowing you've done that to someone else. I want to hear why. I want to think that maybe- maybe- you had a good reason."

He grunted back at her, his ears going red. "I didn't."

"Then why?" Yan-Yan didn't plan to leave until she had at least some answers.

"Look, it's not that complex a story," Chen said gruffly, but he told her anyway. "I got married when I was in my thirties- geez, back then I felt like I'd waited forever, but now it sounds so damn young. I wanted kids, y'know. A family. I wanted to be able to see 'em grow up, get married, have their own kids. My wife, she was from a good family, and we got along okay. But things kinda got tense when the years went by and there were never any kids. Maybe it was 'cause of me, maybe 'cause of her, but she'd wanted 'em just as badly. We stopped talking, stopped acting married. I shoulda let her go, have her own life and get away from me, but I was a coward. I'm not afraid to admit that. And then I went and acted like a total lowlife and had that affair. The worst part is, I'm not sure if I'd take it back. I was in love."

"Love?" she repeated incredulously.

Chen shrugged. "Yeah. I was also selfish, and ignorant. She was my student, and being with me ruined what small chance she had to become a reputable artist. In the end, she left town to try to make it somewhere no one knew her. So it wasn't just my wife I screwed over."

"Don't mention Meihui to me right now," she snapped.

"I wasn't gonna."

"Good," she said, her throat tightening as she thought about Chen's story. He'd fallen in love with the woman, and his affair had been a romance in his eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if that had been why she'd been so cruelly replaced. "Do- do you think he loves her?" She reached up to wipe away the tears that had formed as she imagined herself in the same position as Chen's ex-wife. Had her own ex, who had never quite fallen for her, fallen in love with Meihui? Had he loved another woman for years behind her back?

"I got no way of knowing that," Chen said. "But I don't think he does."

"How can you tell?"

"'Cause if he did, Meihui wouldn't care more what you think about her than she cares what he thinks." He gave her a gentle poke with his walking stick, and she batted it away.

She didn't know if she believed Chen, but she wanted to. It hurt less to think that her ex-husband was just an ass than it did to think that he'd betrayed her for love. "I'm sorry for getting upset over something that isn't my business," she muttered.

"I don't need an apology," he replied. "It's a reflection on my character."

"I don't know why I obsess over other people's decisions. Maybe because I have such trouble making my own."

"Well, she always had a bit of advice that helped me out," Chen replied, unrolling the scroll again so she could see the brown rat depicted in it.

"What was that?" She expected something flowery and sentimental since they were words from his long-lost forbidden love.

"Quit dicking around," he replied, catching Yan-Yan off-guard.

She couldn't help but laugh. "So that's where you picked up that phrase?" she asked incredulously as she pictured the elegant rat in the painting saying such a thing to Chen.

"It is indeed," he confirmed with a nod. "She was a wise woman, that one. We'd always agreed, to never say... To never say any 'I love you's, or any of that crap. But she'd tell me to quit dicking around with that smile on her face, and it was just as good to me."

Yan-Yan smiled. "That's why you always say it to Lin, isn't it? Because those words are sentimental to you."

"And 'cause she could stand to follow that bit of advice once in a while," he added.

"Chen," Yan-Yan scolded with a poke to the old master's stomach. "You're too hard on her. She's not your student anymore, you know."

"I know," he grumbled.

"I'll bet she'd like hearing from you," she added, since he was feeling so sentimental at the moment. "You should write."

"Ah, geez," Chen huffed, looking away. "What'm I supposed to say, huh?"

She'd had a feeling she would get that response from him. "You're such a baby," she informed him, causing his tail to twitch. "I'm just trying to help you. If you won't make peace, then it'll just be another regret to add to the pile."

"Just 'cause you had your heart-warming reunion with your kids doesn't mean things'll turn out the same for me," Chen snapped. "Drop it."

"Fine," Yan-Yan said with a sigh, watching as he rolled up the painting and set it aside for a blank piece of paper and some ink. "Can I stay and read with you while you paint?"

"Y'know I'll never say no to that," he said, his voice unexpectedly gentle after their argument. Sometimes he surprised her that way.

Yan-Yan doubted she would be needed with her family all asleep for the night. So, she grabbed one of her most flowery romances and settled down in Chen's desk chair to read while he painted mist-covered mountains and delicate tree branches adorned with dewdrops and spring blossoms. Those serene ink paintings were just another way in which Chen could surprise her.

They'd been relaxing together for hours when Chen's ears twitched and he set his brush aside with a frown. They both looked up as Wei-Shan strode into the studio as if he belonged there.

"Where've you been?" Chen asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Watching," Wei-Shan answered, which creeped Yan-Yan out to no end. "And now it's time to act. Pack your things." He nodded to Yan-Yan. "Both of you."

"Pack our things?" she repeated, caught off-guard by these sudden and mysterious orders. "Why? For what? Where are we even going?" She turned to Chen, who didn't seem surprised in the least. "What in the actual hell is happening?"

Chen gave her arm a gentle pat, his expression stoic. "We're heading out to the Valley of Peace, I'm guessing."

She didn't think that was even a remote possibility, but Wei-Shan nodded again.

"That's correct," he said, sounding more forceful than she'd ever heard him. "Quan is in need of help. We're going to provide it."

"Help with what?" Yan-Yan still didn't like any of this. "Chen, how's he even know if Lin needs help? How do you know we can believe him?"

Chen sighed and rubbed at his forehead, and when he looked at her he seemed worried. That wasn't like him at all. "It's a kung fu thing. I can't really explain it ifya don't already know a bunch about kung fu. But if he's wrong, what've we got to lose?"

She had already decided to go along with all this the moment she'd seen the worry on Chen's face. "I'll pack all my medical supplies. Can we wait for Meihui? I'll need an assistant with me if I'm patching up anything more major than some scrapes and bruises."

"We can wait," Wei-Shan confirmed. "You'll need her." He took his glasses off and tucked them into his shirt. Without them, he looked intense, menacing, even- like the few paintings she'd seen of him as a young man. Before he'd joined Chen. "I'll keep watch while you ready yourselves," he said, then left without another word.

"He's so weird and creepy," Yan-Yan observed, then turned to Chen. Their entire interaction with Wei-Shan had unnerved her, and she needed some reassurance. She had a feeling he needed a little reassurance of his own, too. "Listen. I don't know what we're expecting, but I'm with you. We're doing this together. Alright?"

Chen patted her arm again, closing his eyes. "Alright," he agreed, and it sounded more like a mantra meant to calm himself. "Am I fetching Meihui?"

"If you don't mind. I've got to try to figure out how to pack my medical supplies efficiently enough to carry them for a two-week walk. Not to mention Yiliang and the girls! I don't like the idea of leaving them here alone when we still don't know if that rotten husband of hers is going to try to pull something." She paused, thinking over her options. She might be a bit of a player now, but she did have someone who'd always been dependable to call on. "I think Li Peng might be up for a favor. Are you alright with him staying here?"

Chen nodded. "It's a good idea. He's big enough to chase off anyone who tries to make trouble for the girls. I'll ask my drinking buddies to drop in from time to time, too."

"Why? They're just a bunch of retired old geezers."

"Retired old kung fu masters," Chen corrected with a smug grin.

"What?"

"It wasn't a relevant detail until now." He hopped off his desk and toward his giant shelving unit. "I'm gonna start packing. Let's try to get everything squared away by tomorrow so we can head out the day after."

"Right," she agreed, still dazed at learning that Chen's drinking group consisted of fellow kung fu masters. She'd always assumed they were fellow artists. She should have known Chen would keep a trick like this up his sleeve, just in case. That had always been his style. "I think I'll start packing those medical supplies now."

---

Lin woke up with the taste of vomit in her mouth and a murderous hangover. "Goddamn," she muttered as she dragged herself out of bed to get ready for the day. Work wasn't going to be pleasant like this. Once she'd gotten herself relatively together, she shuffled outside to find Tai Lung at the fire pit. Right, Tai Lung had been with her last night. "What, now you're stalking me?"

He shoved a cup of tea into her hands and scoffed. "You truly are full of yourself. How am I supposed to learn from you when you're always pawning your work off onto me to go out drinking?"

"First, learn how to avoid my sneak attacks," she replied, then downed the tea. She could use all the help she could get with this pounding headache. "And anyway, I had a date."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm aware. You need to give up on that big-eared pinched sphincter."

Lin tossed her empty cup back at him before heading to her punt. She couldn't afford to run late today. "Mind your business." She thought Tai Lung would keep arguing with her, or at least follow her, but he stayed behind. It was weird, but she'd already told him he was welcome at her house so she didn't spend too much time worrying about it. When it came to the kid, she had a lot more to focus on than where he decided to spend his days. Not that she had any clue what was going on with those freaky visions. Or rather, her memories.

She wondered if there was something vital she was missing, something she could possibly remember to help them out. Yet when she tried, she always hit the same wall. She remembered that creature appearing to her in the darkness, but nothing beyond that. And even if she could remember, how would it help Tai Lung? What lesson did he have to learn? Was he supposed to just avoid the mistakes she'd made, or was there something deeper at work? She'd hoped to at least have some answers worked out by this point, but she was just as clueless now as she'd been the day she'd rejected Oogway.

To be honest, she was also distracting herself a little too much with Shifu. She'd been focused too much on her own disastrous love life instead of focusing on teaching Tai Lung. One would think that with only one student she'd be able to keep her eyes on the prize, but apparently, she sucked at teaching about visions even more than she did at receiving them.

"I'm here," she groaned up the stairs at Ping when she reached the restaurant, then donned her apron, grabbed a large gulp of water, and got to work.

"You look like you've been tracked in on the bottom of someone's shoe," Ping greeted her when he came downstairs. "Try not to let it affect your tips."

"Last night was a disaster, thanks for asking." She wondered if he was that unintimidated by her, or if he'd just forgotten that she had a giant cleaver at her disposal. "And now I'm hungover."

"So I smell," he replied, waving a wing in front of his beak. "You couldn't have bathed before work?"

"I bathed last night." She probably could have stood to bathe again this morning, but she hadn't had the time. "And you're lucky I didn't take a sick day."

"You're lucky you're still employed," he replied loftily, then got to work on his noodles for the day. "So what was so disastrous about your date? And feel free to leave out all the juicy details."

What could she even say about last night? That Shifu had made her feel too much like they were in a real relationship again, and she'd gotten scared off? That she'd wanted to forgive him, however briefly, but couldn't bring herself to take that leap? That she'd kept remembering Al and that inability to let go of the past had only confused her more? There were so many factors at work for her, all intertwined and jumbled up inside her. She couldn't even name all her feelings. "Magenta."

"What was magenta, now?" Ping asked distractedly. "Not a body part, I hope."

"Nah. It's just this thing someone told me once... When you're feeling a whole buncha shit and it all swirls together into one big, awful feeling that makesya wanna just crawl into bed and never come back out. Call it magenta. That's how last night made me feel, and that's why it sucked."

"So dramatic!" Ping clucked his tongue like a disapproving parent. "You certainly like to complicate your life, hm?"

She couldn't exactly deny that. "Why do I bother tellingya anything?"

"Maybe it's my noodles," he replied. "Could they contain a truth serum?"

"Very funny." She flicked an onion skin at him for that one. "And by the way, I don't like drama, it just seeks me out."

"Sure," he said skeptically. "And I don't like noodles."

Lin was going to spit in his lunch if he kept provoking her. And she would watch him eat it, too. "Keep it up, see what happens."

"Oh no, will you spit in my lunch? Boohoo! You already get fur into everything, anyway!" Ping sure was sharp for someone who spent most of his time obsessing about soup.

"I'll get you yet," she warned. "And your little noodles, too." At least all this banter helped cheer her up a little. Her head still pounded and her throat felt like sandpaper, but she was enjoying her morning with Ping, and that counted for something. She could appreciate their friendship in this moment and worry about what to do next with her life later.

---

Shifu had known when Lin had walked away from him last night that she wouldn't be returning. Still, he'd stayed up and waited for her in his room. And then, when he'd felt he couldn't sit still a moment longer, he'd gone to the scroll library. He hadn't forgotten what Lin had told him about Tai Lung's strange visions of some sort of ocean creature, and he'd been wondering what, if anything, he could do to help. If he couldn't spend the rest of the night trying to make up for his mistakes with Lin, then he would focus on making up for his mistakes with Tai Lung. And the first thing he had always done when facing a mistake and trying to make it right had been to turn to his master. So, why not turn to the wisdom his master had left behind?

He had worked the way Lin often did, through the night and into the next day, ignoring the morning gong. His students had proven already that they were responsible enough to go on training without him. By lunchtime, he had found what he'd been looking for: amongst Master Oogway's vast accounts of his journeys and adventures across the world, there had been an encounter with something just as strange and unnerving as what Lin had shown him.

Inside the scroll was an illustration of an eye, large and bright in the darkness of the ocean, and a description of what Oogway had thought might be an ocean spirit of some kind. Oogway had sailed the open ocean in search of students and found himself shipwrecked in a storm. This thing, some sort of giant squid, had appeared to him beneath the waves. Oogway had attempted to speak to the creature, but received only one response: "My child has known you, and so you live. Do not return." There was nothing in the scroll about what this mysterious message could mean. And all this had happened hundreds of years ago.

It wasn't much, but it was something.

Shifu tried not to worry about how this incident might be connected to Tai Lung's current visions, or what Lin might have experienced in the past. He still did not have all the facts, and so there was not much he could do to extract any meaning from it all. But he could at least share what he'd found. He wasn't so foolish as to believe he could simply hand the scroll over to Tai Lung and get a positive reaction in turn. He would have to go through Lin. Considering how their date had ended, he had a feeling that it would be just as difficult to speak to Lin today.

He tucked the scroll into his belt, ignoring his exhaustion in favor of completing his task. And, if he could get up the nerve, receiving some answers about what had scared Lin off from him. To be perfectly honest, he had no idea what he'd done wrong. She had left in such a hurry that he must have offended her in some way, but they hadn't fought beforehand. He thought he'd been doing well at their own little version of romance, but clearly, he'd been mistaken. Maybe he'd pushed too hard. Lin had seemed rattled by his intimate confession, but he had told her he loved her so many times before that he hadn't expected much of a reaction. But maybe it had been a case of poor timing.

Shifu would have his chance to ask. He arrived at the restaurant in time for the end of their lunch service, so he had the opportunity to sit close to the kitchen. Lin looked like she'd just been rolled down the mountain after a night of hard drinking, so he did not anticipate any genteel conversation from her. Not that he could expect genteel conversation from her at any other time.

Lin approached his table, and she looked even more haggard up close. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark bags under them, her fur stuck out at odd angles like she hadn't bothered brushing it after sleeping, and her voice sounded more gravelly than ever. "Whaddaya want?"

"Hi," Shifu greeted awkwardly, tapping his fingers on the table. "Um."

"Soup?" Lin suggested.

"Yes, please," he said, relieved that she didn't seem particularly annoyed at him. "And tea. If that's alright."

"That's what we do," she said, then returned to the kitchen before he could work up the courage to address the events of last night. Well, he could wait for her to have a break. And he'd be a little more articulate with some food and tea in him.

He waited for her to return with his order for a chance to speak with her again, and when she did, he pounced. "Lin, when is your next break?"

"Ugh," was her immediate response. He should have known. "Eat your food and pay your bill."

He handed her much more money than he probably should have. "And then you'll have a break?" He wasn't known for giving up in kung fu, so he wouldn't here, either.

"Fine," she said with an unconcerned shrug. "Seeya in the alley."

He did not have a good feeling about this. Still, the two of them needed to have a conversation. He finished off his lunch and left to wait for Lin in the alley beside the noodle restaurant, where she had repeatedly rejected and groped him. They needed a better meeting spot.

Lin exited the restaurant and immediately charged toward him, grabbed his shirt, and shoved him into a stack of empty crates. He braced himself for some kind of punch or slap, but instead, she kissed him fiercely, like she was trying to devour him.

"Mmph!" he tried to protest, but Lin didn't seem about to let up. He resorted to using his superior strength to push her away, surprised at how much she resisted. "Lin, what in the actual hell are you doing?"

"Hooking up withya," she snapped. "That's what we do. Remember?"

"Well I have a say in this, too, and I don't want to get mauled by you in a dirty alleyway!" He stopped himself before he said anything he might regret. He should have seen this behavior coming since Lin generally responded to emotional appeals with either indifference or completely unhinged behavior. Or both.

"Fine! Seeya." She started to walk away from him, but he grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Do you hate me again, is that what this is?" Shifu asked. He hoped she didn't say yes.

"Ugh," was all the answer Lin dignified him with. "I don't got time for all this drama, I got work to do." She yanked her hand from his and tried to leave, but Shifu moved to block the door.

"Wait!"

"Hey, when I say I gotta get back to work I mean it!"

"I have something for you," he pushed on, despite a part of him wanting to just abandon her out of spite for her behavior. But he already knew from experience that it wasn't the right thing to do. And perhaps showing her some support in her efforts with Tai Lung would convince her to stay and talk. At the very least he could get Oogway's scroll to her before she ran off to chop vegetables and scream at innocent villagers. "It is for Tai Lung, actually, but... I thought it should come from you." He pulled the scroll out of his belt and held it out for her. "Please. Regardless of how you feel about me, I would like to help."

Lin eyed the scroll a moment before hesitantly taking it. "What's this, exactly?"

"Oogway wrote many accounts of his life and deeds that are now stored at the Jade Palace. This is one such account, which speaks of his encounter with an ocean spirit. It seemed relevant."

"Oh." She sounded surprised, as if she hadn't expected him to even remember Tai Lung's visions. "Thanks."

"You are welcome. Now, may we please discuss what you are clearly going through? Because you are an absolute mess and I would rather not get attacked in a darkened alley again." He had hoped she would laugh at his sarcastic joke, but he only received a blank stare from her. "Lin. Was it something I did last night? You left in such a hurry... I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable. With- with all that talk of feelings. I perhaps let myself become too swept up in the moment."

She turned her eyes down to the scroll. "Y'know, a coupla months ago I never thought I'd hearya talk about feelings. It's a pretty big change."

"I... Suppose." He wondered if this was what had bothered her so much. "Do you not like it?"

"I like it," she clarified. "I think you're putting in a lotta effort and it shows. But there's more to this equation than just you."

"You will have to be more specific with me," Shifu said, though he had a feeling he knew what she meant. She still hadn't forgiven him.

"D'you gotta be such a glutton for punishment?" Lin seemed to think he knew what she meant, too. "Jeez. We've had this conversation."

"I know," he admitted. Then, because he couldn't stand feeling like Lin might run from him at any moment and was equally disturbed by her messy appearance, he smoothed her hair down. "I don't want to scare you off. Will you give me a chance to be a little less intense and come see me tonight?"

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. "Fine," she grumbled, which he counted as a win. "But I need another bath."

"It will be waiting for you," he promised.

Lin breathed in deeply, and for a split second, she almost looked peaceful before she pulled away from him. "You smell that?"

It was a strange change of subject, but he sniffed at the air just in case she was not, as he suspected, trying to trick him into smelling her flatulence. "Roasted chestnuts?" He hoped that hadn't come from Lin. It would ruin chestnuts for him forever.

"Yeah." Lin glanced down the alleyway, then pushed past him toward the door. "Must be a vendor."

"Would you like some?" He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't bring up food if she weren't hungry.

"Nah," she answered. "Don't like 'em." Then she slammed the door behind her, leaving him alone in the alleyway.

"Okay. That could have gone worse. And now I am talking to myself." He straightened his clothing out and returned to the restaurant for another pot of tea. He could use something soothing after that conversation. And, as pathetic as it felt, it soothed him to be near Lin, too. As long as she wasn't screaming at him or hitting him, of course.

---

Even after years of reading romance novels, Tai Lung had never imagined that he would be sneaking out of the barracks at night for a clandestine meeting with a woman. This would have been an exciting new experience for him if the woman he was going to see was anyone but Lin. The irony was not lost on him that most of the milestones he'd expected to reach in a romantic relationship had instead been reached with Lin. Sharing a bed with a woman? Check. Going on an overnight trip with a woman? Check. Being naked with a woman? Check, unfortunately. Though he did secretly think her tattoo was kind of cool.

This was the path he had chosen, though. He no longer yearned for the Dragon Scroll or vengeance against Shifu and the panda. He no longer yearned for much, really, except to get to the bottom of these damn visions and keep Lin safe. If he were to delve deep and be truly honest with himself, what he truly wanted was to keep Lin with him. He would do anything to ensure she did not leave him again, and if that meant fighting Shifu and his students, or whatever that horrifying kraken was, then he'd do it. He'd fight everyone who tried to come between them, everyone who tried to take her from him. That was why he needed to keep an eye on her. Even if the Wu Sisters didn't come for her, something else might happen.

Like last night. Whatever Shifu had done to her, he would not forgive it. Though he might have to answer some questions about showing up at Lin's house in the middle of the night. She had needed him, though, and that had been worth revealing himself. He doubted she'd been sober enough to realize he'd been tailing her, anyway. He approached the art studio, the soft glow of a lantern visible inside, and squared his shoulders. He'd enter as though nothing were out of the ordinary, and perhaps they would simply gloss over last night's events.

"What wereya doing in my house last night?" Lin asked him the moment he walked into the studio, spinning around in her chair to give him an uncharacteristically stern look.

"You're welcome," he replied, crossing his arms. It had been a long shot to hope they'd gloss over last night, anyway. "If it weren't for me, your bed would be filled with vomit right now."

Lin didn't fall so easily for such a simple deflection, not that he'd expected her to. "Answer the question and maybe then you'll get a thanks."

He couldn't tell her he had followed her. He might tend to make some regrettable decisions, but he at least was smart enough to know that revealing that fact would have some seriously negative consequences for him. "I'd had a vision," he lied. "I felt like it couldn't wait, so I went to see you." It was a bit off the cuff, but hopefully the lie had still been believable.

She watched him for a while, studying his face. "You're lying to me."

Drat. He still couldn't manage to get anything more substantial than a white lie or an omission past her. "How do you know that, exactly?"

"Your eyes cross whenya lie," she said. "It's an incredibly goofy tell. And, luckily for me, very obvious. So the real question here is, whaddaya gotta lie about? And what is it that's so bad you'd lie to me about having a vision?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and did his best to focus. "I am not hiding anything from you."

"That's bullshit!" she shouted.

Well, if she wanted to turn this into a shouting match, he could play, too. "You're awfully demanding for someone who spends half her time lying!"

"Not to you, I don't!"

Any further argument he'd had died in his throat upon hearing that. They stared at each other for a beat, Lin's face still scrunched up hilariously in anger, and him still processing what she'd said. "Is that true?" he finally asked.

"It's true," Lin said grumpily. "And, I mean, it's not like I lie so much in general, anyway. People just assume I do 'cause they don't believe me."

"People like Shifu," he pointed out.

She held up a hand for him to stop. "Let's not get into that. Listen, I wouldn't lie to you when I'm supposed to be guiding you, and there's so much on the line. That'd be about the dumbest move I could make. So just keep that in mind, okay? No lies between us. Just the truth. Canya trust me enough to do the same?"

He gulped at her plea. He wanted to. But those visions had given him so many doubts, he didn't know if he could. "From now on," he said. "Just the truth." That was the most he could promise, though he didn't know if he could commit to it.

"Good. So, why wereya at my house?" Leave it to Lin to never let anything go.

"I followed you." He didn't see any way out of admitting the truth at this point, but maybe he could mitigate the damage a little. "I saw you leaving the Jade Palace, and at first I wasn't going to... But you didn't seem alright." That was partially true. Mostly true. He had followed her much longer than that, but he had reason enough to keep that part to himself. "I knew that so-called date wasn't going to go well."

"Okay. Thanks for checking on me." She didn't seem angry at all, so perhaps he'd been too paranoid. Then she narrowed her eyes at him, and he realized he wasn't going to get away clean. "Something's up withya lately. What's going on?"

"Nothing." He wouldn't reveal to her what he had seen, how thoroughly intertwined she seemed with that ocean spirit- if it even was a spirit. And he certainly couldn't bring up the Wu Sisters, or his habit of tailing her. "I just... Don't like seeing you in danger."

"Danger?" she scoffed. "What danger? What's Shifu gonna do to me?"

"Not physical danger," he clarified. "But Shifu raised me. I know him as well as anyone, and he will not change. You are wasting your time and energy on him-"

"When I should be spending it on you?" she asked, a hard edge to her voice that he didn't appreciate, especially after all he'd done for her.

"You did agree to teach me."

"I did, but that doesn't make your entitled attitude okay." Lin crossed her arms, fixing him with a disapproving glare. "You need to calm right the hell down."

"I am calm!" He could have torn his fur out at that moment, so he wouldn't say he was as calm as he had been before she'd told him to calm down. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"I'm listening to you," she said with a huff. "I just don't like what I'm hearing." Before he could argue with her more, she grabbed a scroll from her desk and shoved it at him. "Don't tell other people how to live their lives. Even ifya mean well, it'll never work out. Now take this before I drop it."

He eyed the scroll warily as he took it, wondering whether he was about to get an eyeful of one of her dirty paintings. "What is this?"

"It's something Oogway wrote about his life," Lin said, then sat heavily down at her desk and turned to watch him. "Read it. I'll wait."

When he unrolled the scroll to see that familiar unnerving eye in the dark, he nearly dropped it. "This- this is-" He paused, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. He had known Lin had seen Oogway in her visions, but he had never heard of this "ocean spirit" encounter described in the scroll. "Have you read it?"

"Yeah," Lin said with a nod.

"What do you think of it?" He wanted to hear from her first, before he made his own conclusions, though those were already forming.

Lin rubbed at her cheek as she thought. "Well, it's not exactly the most thorough account. And we got no way of knowing if that's the same creature from your visions or if, y'know, there're lots of 'em out there."

The thought of more than one of that thing lurking in the sea made him shiver.

"But it sounds like the same one. The last time I had a vision with that kraken or ocean spirit or whatever, it said, 'Do not return to me alone.' That's almost exactly what it said to Oogway. The way it talks... That can't be a coincidence, right?"

"Right," Tai Lung agreed. "It must be the same creature... From hundreds of years ago." That unnerved him more than it should. After all, Oogway had lived to be a thousand years old. Surely there were others capable of living such a long life. And it wasn't as if spirits aged and died like normal people. He supposed the thought of the thing as a spirit or even a god made all these visions even more disturbing. What would something like that want with him and Lin? "Did the scroll trigger any of your memories?"

Lin shook her head.

He'd expected as much, though it was still a disappointment. "I don't think this thing is appearing to us in an attempt to help me repent or help you teach me," he concluded. "I don't think its motives have much to do with what we want at all."

"I hate to say it, but that makes more sense 'an any other explanation I could think of." She tipped her head back to look at the ceiling, her brow furrowed. "But I got those visions from Oogway. Or, well, he always said they were never from him, but he was there, until I closed my mind off to him. I thought they were connected to yours, somehow. And what about those creepy ten versions ofya? There's so much here I just can't piece together. You got any idea?"

Something she had said gave him pause. Lin had closed her mind off to Oogway... She hadn't let him in. And he remembered what that creature had said when it had appeared to him as Lin. Let me in.

"Yo, what's up?"

"I... I think perhaps it is connected somehow." He couldn't be sure, but it seemed to him like closing herself off to Oogway had left room for something else. Something not quite as benevolent. "Do you think that thing started appearing because you can't receive visions from Oogway anymore?"

Lin shrugged. "It doesn't explain why you're the one seeing 'em now, though." She had a point there.

Still, he thought he was onto something. "Perhaps it has something to do with our..." He winced as he said the next part of that sentence aloud. "Personal connection."

"Huh." Lin paused in thought but eventually gave up with a shrug. "I dunno enough about visions to say for sure. Maybe?"

"Why are you my teacher?" he asked with a sigh.

"Hey!" Lin crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at his head. "At least I'm trying. Jeez!" She seemed unusually offended by his remark, so he didn't push.

He frowned at her for throwing the paper but continued their discussion. "At least we have a little insight now to the nature of that creature. That... Ocean spirit. If only Oogway had known its name, that would have made it far easier to search for more information."

"If it even has a name," Lin pointed out. "There's lots out there that just hasn't been named yet. This could be one of those things."

"Which would not bode well for us," Tai Lung said. "If it has not been named, then it has been rarely encountered at best. Perhaps only by us and Oogway, for all we know. I hate to say it, but a more in-depth search through the archives may be in order."

"Leave that part to me," Lin said with the determination of someone trying to prove herself. "I got connections, after all."

"Yes, that." He did not like the idea of her spending time with her cast-off little brat, but it might have to be a necessary sacrifice.

"Hey," she said with a note of warning in her voice. "I heard that tone. Don't you dare try to get weird and possessive, got it?"

"Possessive?" he repeated with a scoff. "Me? Never."

"Uhuh," she said skeptically.

He felt his hackles raise at her attitude. She had no idea how much he had done for her and continued to do for her, but she thought his actions were possessive? "I have a right to voice my concern. And besides..." He'd had Lin first. "I have my reservations about sharing information on these visions with an outside party."

"I'll try to stay vague," she reasoned. "And y'know, ifya really want help with those archives we could always ask Shifu-"

"No," he interrupted. "Absolutely not." He needed to put his foot down there. Shifu would not get near any of this as long as he had a say. And hopefully, someday soon, Shifu would not get anywhere near either of them.

Lin's face softened and she turned away from him to look back down at her desk, picking up her graphite. "Okay. It's your choice."

"Don't try to guilt me," he warned, but she only shrugged her shoulders. He could tell she'd become upset, and he couldn't help but feel this was all Shifu's fault. Would he ever have anything in his life that old man hadn't interfered with in some way? "We can handle this on our own. Oogway thought so, didn't he?"

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, glancing over her shoulder at him. "I guess. C'mere."

He sat at her desk beside her, surprised when she placed paper and a brush in front of him. "What is this?"

"We've gotten as far as we can with discussion," Lin said as she wet an ink block. "Chen always taught me that Zen ink painting is, first and foremost, meditative. Andya kinda suck at the traditional kind, so I'm gonna teachya to ink paint."

"You cannot be serious." He picked up his brush with two fingers, raising an eyebrow skeptically at her. "Since when does Chen know anything about meditation?"

"He's an ass, but he learned from Oogway," she reasoned. "And he taught me a lot. Now, let's practice brush strokes."

"Wait- we are simply practicing brush strokes? Like children?" He dropped his brush back onto her desk. "I already know how to make a line on a page."

"No, you honestly don't," Lin argued.

"I do!"

"Okay, prove it." She slid her ink toward him and crossed her arms, nodding to his page. "Paint me."

"Very well!" He had seen Lin work enough times to get the idea, he was sure of it. He wet his brush and went about drawing Lin as quickly as he could with the ink. Zen painting was about limiting time and brush strokes, that much he knew, so he kept things simple. And... And drew... Something. It didn't look so much like Lin as it looked like some kind of dented mold spore.

"Hm," Lin hummed as she inspected his work. "Yes, I see now. You are the greatest master artist of all time. I concede to you."

"Very funny!" He crumpled up his drawing and knocked it aside. "I will try again."

Lin grabbed another piece of paper but held it out of his reach. "You'll practice brush strokes. I'll showya how. First, you gotta correct your grip. Hold a brush like you're holding a flower, not a sword."

"What?"

With a sigh, she repositioned his fingers for him. "There, and keep your grip loose. Act like ifya hold the brush just a little bit too tight it'll break. But still hold it securely. Okay?"

He grunted, annoyed that she seemed to think he was so inept that he didn't know how to hold a brush. "I know!"

"Yeah, 'cause I just toldya." She demonstrated her grip for him with her own brush. "Keep your wrist loose, too. Andya don't draw from the wrist, you use your whole arm. Start from the torso, let the movement flow through the shoulder and into the arm." She slashed her brush across her page to draw a single line in her usual bold style. "See? Like this. Keep practicing untilya can draw a straight line like this without even thinking."

Alright, so maybe there were a few basic principles of ink painting he had not yet familiarized himself with. Still, how hard could it be to pick up? "How long does that take?"

She shrugged. "Depends on the person. For me, I wasn't allowed to do anything else until my third week in."

"Three weeks?" he choked out. "Just to learn to draw a line?"

"Give or take," she said. "Now get started. I'll practice withya to warm myself up."

"You still do these drills?" he asked, aghast.

She nodded in response. "Every artist does! Expertise doesn't meanya stop practicing the basics. Besides, it's a great way to break in a new brush. Now, let's get started." She dropped a huge stack of papers in front of him. "Here's a store of my scraps. Fill 'em all up with lines, and pay attention to your form."

"Must I?" He sounded a little whinier than he'd intended, but it wasn't exactly the most exciting lesson he'd ever had.

"I thought I was your teacher," she answered lightly, then started practicing her lines.

"Augh," he grumbled, then got to work with her... Brush drills. There were worse things to be doing with his time, after all. Like spending it with literally anyone else.

---

Shifu sighed to himself as he dumped out the remains of the now-cold tea he'd made for Lin. It was time to accept that she had stood him up. He paused outside the Jade Palace to look up at the stars, fondly remembering the little lecture she'd given him on the roof of the barracks. It seemed to him like they'd taken one step forward and two steps back since then. And now he'd waited half the night for a woman who wanted nothing to do with him unless he masked his feelings for her. What a disaster his love life had become. He almost missed having no love life at all. Almost. Because those moments when Lin held him, smiled at him, laughed at him... Those were worth everything.

He returned to his room and sat down to meditate. He wouldn't be getting to sleep any time soon, the way he was feeling, and he had been too neglectful of the practice lately. Master Oogway had always taught him that while a calm mind and soul would not necessarily solve all his problems, they certainly wouldn't hurt. He had ignored that advice too often throughout his life. He was reminded of something else Oogway had once said to him: "You are a person of duality, Shifu, as we all are in some way. Though you are outwardly steadfast, there is a storm inside of you. You must pursue calm, moreso than you might think." He understood his master's word now, more than ever.

Lin barged into his room without a word and flopped down onto his bed stomach first. So much for pursuing calm. He knew he would have to get used to her doing so if he wanted her to give him another chance, but her abruptness could still be startling.

"Hello," Shifu greeted, eyeing her as he waited for a response.

She grunted back at him.

He should have seen that coming. She was withdrawing from him because he'd been too insistent on trying to move things forward between them and had scared her off. He wouldn't make that mistake again. "I can make tea. Would you like some?"

She waved him off, her face still buried in pillows.

He approached the bed and stood over her, but she still insisted on ignoring him. "Are you... Trying to sleep?"

"God!" Lin finally deigned to say, lifting her head from the pillows. "Yeah, obviously. Stop keeping me awake!"

"If all you came here to do is sleep, then you will at least leave enough room in my bed for me." He gave her a pointed poke in the side, but she batted his hand away.

"That's rich, coming from Mister 'we shouldn't have sex for no particular reason.'"

"I wasn't talking about sex!"

"Of course you weren't." She sighed forlornly. "I'm so horny. Andya won't even finger me."

"It has been two days, you sex addict!" He was fully aware of how ridiculous this argument was, and yet he was still engaging in it. Because at least Lin was talking to him.

"Two days too many." Lin rolled over onto her back and tugged at his sleeve. "C'mere," she ordered.

"You cannot just order me to please you," Shifu said, huffing in frustration.

"Why not?" She waggled her eyebrows at him. "You like it when I'm bossy."

"In the right context, yes. This is different." He sat down on what little of the bed he could access and tried to judge what might be going on in Lin's head just by looking into her eyes. Unfortunately, he would have to ask. "I would like to talk about what's bothering you."

"Ugh!" Her reply was too predictable to irritate him.

"I am aware that what we have right now does not constitute a relationship. That does not mean I don't need some kind of communication from you."

"Oh my God," Lin grumbled, then pushed past him to climb off the bed and walk out of the room.

It took him a moment to realize she intended on simply leaving him there without any intention of returning. Just like she had on their date. With a heavy sigh, he pushed himself up to chase after her. Because, as irritating as her habit of running away could be, he couldn't keep letting her turn her back on him. He caught up to her in the Hall of Warriors and darted in front of her to block her path. "Lin, if you walk away from every emotionally difficult moment-"

"Whadda you know about my emotions?" she interrupted him harshly.

"I am trying to learn, at least!" he snapped. "Maybe this would go easier if you would let me!"

"I'm not here to teach you how to empathize! All I wanted was sex!" She tried to shoulder past him, but he wouldn't let her. Not this time.

"What is going on?" Gia chose that exact moment to interrupt them, because this night hadn't been difficult enough already. She tentatively stepped toward them from the side hall, where she'd come from the scroll library, her gaze shifting back and forth between them. "Why are you yelling?"

Shifu stepped away from Lin, fully expecting her to take the opportunity to bolt. Still, he didn't want to have this fight in front of Gia.

Lin surprised him by staying put. "We were just arguing like we usually do. No big deal. Right?"

"Right," Shifu agreed, hoping he didn't sound too stilted.

Gia furrowed her brow but still accepted the lie with a nod. "I see. Lin, since you are here, I had hoped to discuss something with you. Is this... A good time?"

With one more sidelong glance at Shifu, Lin shrugged and took a step toward her daughter. "Yeah, sure. I was just about done hanging out with Shifu, anyway."

He winced at that explanation, though he didn't argue. The last thing he wanted was to come between Lin and Gia, especially when they'd been getting along so well. "I will be in my room if you need me, then."

"Wait." Gia cleared her throat, her mouth forming a nervous line as her eyes darted between them again. "I would like to ask you both."

"Oh." Shifu waited for Lin to argue, but she simply shrugged again.

"Master Shifu, I had thought you were my father for most of my life. I even traveled across the world to meet you. And you have been very kind to me since we have met, but you are not who I'd been searching for. But because of this lie, I have been able to meet you, and to meet my mother." She paused at Lin's frown, but neither of them interrupted her. "I want to know about my true father. I think Master Shifu and I should both hear about him. Because whether we ever meet or not, he is the reason the three of us have ended up here together."

Shifu was stunned that Gia had included him in this conversation, though not upset. While he was indeed not her father, he loved Lin, and he had hoped that perhaps someday Lin, Gia, Tigress, and Tai Lung could be his family. "Thank you for that, Gia."

Lin squared her shoulders, and before she even spoke he knew what she would say. "No."

Gia blinked at her, her hopeful expression melting into confusion, and then annoyance. "But perhaps some day soon-"

"No as in never," Lin interrupted her firmly. "We will never have this discussion. I will never tell you. Stop asking. Understand?"

Shifu took a step back. While he was alarmed by how finally Lin had rejected Gia's request, he knew from experience that they would not appreciate his interference. Still, he stayed to make sure he could step in if things became as contentious as they had been when Lin and Gia had first met.

"You- you-" Gia choked out, turning red as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "Sta' zitto! A fanabla!"

"Caccati in mano e prenditi a schiaffi!" Lin yelled back.

Gia went so far as to jab a finger into Lin's chest, so whatever she'd said must have been particularly insulting. "That is uncalled for!"

"Oh, spare me!" Lin batted her hand away with a snort. "Likeya never heard that one!"

"You are spiteful and- and rude!" Gia wiped some of her angry tears away with her hands, shaking her head. "All I wanted to know was who my father was!"

Shifu decided that this was most definitely the time to step in, but before he had the chance, Lin escalated the fight beyond all hope of turning back.

"It doesn't matter who he was!" Lin shouted, her fur frizzing out. "He's dead!"

Gia gasped, covering her mouth with her hands as her eyes widened. "He was dead all this time?" she asked tremulously. "All this time?" Her tone quickly turned angry again, though she was still tearing up. "And you never said anything! I came here to find him, and he was dead! How dare you keep that from me-"

"I dare to do whatever the hell I want!" Lin screamed over her. "And ifya don't like it, too bad!"

"I hate you!" Gia screamed back.

"Big goddamn deal! Go ahead and hate me!"

"I will!"

"Good!"

Shifu didn't know why he thought it would be a good idea to step into the middle of their screaming match at this point, but he did. "Lin-"

"Shut up!" the two of them screamed at him simultaneously, then turned and fled in different directions- Lin out of the Jade Palace and Gia back toward the scroll library.

"Uh." He looked back and forth between the two retreating women. He would have to choose whether to butt out of this particular conflict or go after one of them. And then, if he chose to comfort either Lin or Gia, face the ire of the other. He rubbed at his temples as his head throbbed. This was too complicated a situation for his taste.

Although he thought Lin had once again treated her daughter poorly, he turned toward the doorway to follow after her. After all, one of her complaints about him had been that he was too quick to abandon her when they disagreed, and he wanted to show her he could change. He knew by now that while Lin's anger was legitimate, she also tended to deal with any sort of inner conflict by lashing out senselessly. So he imagined she must be hurting right now, and he would try to keep that in mind when she inevitably turned on him.

Shifu had hesitated so long that by the time he reached Lin, she was about halfway down the stairs into the village. Though he suspected his ease in finding her had something to do with the fact that she was slowed down by her insistence on stomping down on each and every step. "Isn't that hurting your knees?"

"Yes," she snapped over her shoulder, but continued stomping.

"Alright, then." He caught up to her, wondering what he should say. His instinct was to chew her out for once again treating Gia far too harshly. However, his instinct tended to be to treat Lin herself too harshly. He decided to try to approach the subject delicately. "I know you are angry-"

"No shit," Lin growled.

He held in a frustrated sigh. "As I was saying, I know you are angry, but Gia didn't mean to upset you."

"She said she hates me, that sounds pretty intentionally upsetting to me," she replied stubbornly.

"Well, yes, I admit that part was intentional. But she didn't mean to upset you by asking about her father. Anyone in her position would ask the same thing." He sped up to keep in stride with Lin as she stopped stomping and instead descended the stairs as quickly as possible. "Lin, I am trying to help!"

"I don't want your help!" she yelled at him. "No one asked you!"

"I know it isn't my business," he admitted. "You've told me enough times for me to know that. But I want to help, anyway. Isn't it better to stick my nose where it doesn't belong than to let you suffer alone?"

She slowed down at that question. "So nowya think I'm suffering?"

"That's generally the case when you lose your temper this badly." He was heartened when she stopped completely, and he paused to stand beside her, trying to look her in the eye. "What?"

"You don't know me that well," she grumbled sourly, then sat down. "Why'dya come after me instead of running to protect Gia?"

"You need me more." He knew already what she would say to that. "I know it's too little too late. You don't need to say it."

"Then why even bother?" Lin asked.

"Because if I continue doing things that are too little, too late, maybe that will eventually stop being the case. I would rather keep trying and failing than give up on you altogether." He waited for her to say something, but she remained stoic. He sat down beside her and cleared his throat, but that didn't prompt any response either. "I know you don't want to talk about Gia's father. But if you did, by some miracle, decide to tell me, I would listen. And I promise I wouldn't judge you or get angry."

Lin gave him a skeptical sideways glance. "Sure."

"I promised, didn't I? A master of kung fu does not break promises."

"You've broken promises to me," she reminded him. "Can't blame me for being cautious."

"You have a point," he admitted, his regret at his past actions palpable. "And I want to make it up to you. So... Here I am. If you like."

Lin looked at him as if he'd grown another head.

He sighed at her reaction. "I would say you're starting to get insulting, but you have been insulting from the moment we first met."

"Good." She paused for a long time, then said the last thing he would have expected. "Thanks."

"Thanks?" he repeated cautiously. "What for?"

"For picking me," she said, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "It's the bare minimum, and I shouldn't even be thankingya for it. But I am anyway, 'cause at leastya learned. And since you've never been in a real relationship, I'm glad you're learning."

"Oh. Uhm. Don't mention it." He cleared his throat awkwardly, anxious to drop that particular subject. "You should reach out to Gia. Try to make up with her."

Lin let out an irritated groan. She sounded more like the daughter in this situation than Gia. "I'm gonna. We both need some time, first, or it's just gonna blow up in my face." That was at least believable. "And beforeya ask, no. I'm not planning on telling her anything else."

"Nothing?" Shifu asked incredulously. "But he was her father, assuming he even is dead. She should be able to learn something about him, don't you think? If it is so hard to talk about, maybe write a letter."

Lin shook her head. "That's not the only issue," she told him, her demeanor turning uncharacteristically serious. "I'm protecting her. I know I'm doing the right thing."

He couldn't not believe her, the way she spoke. There were very few times when he could tell that Lin was being truly sincere, and this was one of them. "I believe you. But... How do you know you're doing the right thing? Is this another one of your gut feelings?"

"More like life experience." She grimaced, apparently unable to remain stoic for too long. "I don't normally agree with keeping people from knowing things about themselves. It's kinda like taking agency away from 'em. But this's an exception. If she knew the truth, she wouldn't ever be the same again. That's not a decision I wanna make for another person, but I have to."

Shifu felt his heart melt for Lin at such an explanation. Whatever had happened between her and Gia's father, it must have been terrible. "When I found Tai Lung outside the Jade Palace doors, he had nothing. No note, no name, no sign of his origins. And when I looked into Tigress's past, I discovered that her parents had died in the difficult journey getting to the Valley of Peace. No one here knew anything about them, not even their names. It is one of my regrets in raising them, that I haven't been able to tell them where they come from or why their lives had to be so immutably changed."

Lin frowned at him. "That's different. You're different. You loved your parents. Losing 'em hurtya, and you think that'd be the same across the board. Gia's father never even knew she existed for a reason. I hid her for a reason. And... My dad." She paused and gulped. "I hated him so much. I always thought he was about as close as a person could get to a monster. My mom wasn't exactly pleasant, but he was... Different. It never bothered him, not even a little, to hurt another person. It was like a routine for him. And when he got angry, we'd hide. But the thing that I hate the most now about him is how much of him I see in me. If Gia knew what her father was like, she might start thinking about that, too. And I know for a fact that feeling like you're contaminated 'cause your parent was monstrous is one of the worst feelings ever."

He couldn't even begin to know what to say to that. He could only think of more questions. "I can't pretend I can understand that. But... Please. I'm going to go out of my mind, wondering what this man did to you."

"You're worried about me?" She sounded surprised, which stung, but he couldn't expect her to trust him so soon after he'd hurt her.

"More than ever," he answered with complete honesty. When she hesitated, he couldn't keep the flood of questions in any longer. "Why won't you talk about Gia's father?" he pressed. "Why do you always change the subject? What happened?"

Lin stared at him, frowning thoughtfully for a moment. Then, she decided to finally let him in on something from her past. "You really wanna know why I won't tell her about Salvatore?"

"Salva...tore?" he repeated. He'd been wondering for some time if she even knew who Gia's father had been. Putting a name to the man felt a bit like seeing the monster at the end of a play after it had been hidden in shadows the whole time.

"Yeah, Salvatore. That was his name." She crossed her arms, chewing on her lip as she waited for a response; she looked ready for a fight.

He had to admit, hearing that name also made the concept of Lin getting pregnant by another man so much more real to him. "Gods," he grumbled as, against all logic, a wave of discomfort and jealousy overcame him. "I hate that name."

She grinned, but only briefly. "Me too, but I'm a little biased."

He almost dropped the subject right then and there. His curiosity on the matter conflicted with his desire to never hear the details of Lin's past relationship. "So what happened?"

She hesitated, which wasn't a good sign. "Well, the thing is... I maybe, kinda, sorta killed him."

Shifu stared at her, waiting for the proclamation that she had been pulling his leg. None came. "Come again?"

"I may or may not have killed him," she repeated, though it was no less jarring hearing the information a second time. "To be clear, I ain't a hundred percent sure he died. Well, I mean, he most likely died. I think I punctured a lung. It was dark. Plus, y'know, it's not like I stood around and waited for him to take his last breath or anything. It was a knife fight, sorta. Anyway, even if he did survive he'd probably be dead by now, so whatever. I guess."

Shifu continued to wait for some indication that she was playing a prank on him.

"Well say something," she muttered, leaning away from him like he might explode at any minute. "I know you gotta be thinking some pretty harsh stuff right now."

"A few things," he managed to wheeze. It had sunk in that she was telling him the truth, and he was trying his hardest not to scream at the top of his lungs for all to hear. "For starters, why in the hell did you kill the man!?" He failed.

"I had a feeling this was coming," she sighed, cleaning out her ear with a finger.

"Are you insane?" he continued. "You maybe killed a man? You punctured his lung!? You killed the father of your child! The more I say it, the worse it sounds!"

"Yeah, I noticed."

He couldn't believe how blasé her attitude was. She acted as though she were telling him what she ate for lunch. "Well, are you going to let me in on why?"

"Self-defense," she answered.

He snapped his mouth shut. They sat in silence, avoiding each other's gaze while he tried to think up something else to say. He supposed he might as well ask a question as long as she was in a chatty mood. "You compared this man to your father. So... He hit you?" He still couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Yeah," Lin replied shortly. "And when I tried to leave, he came at me with a knife. Hence the knife fight."

He finally gathered the nerve to look at her again; she at least didn't seem upset.

She reached up and tugged at her ear, the one with the notch in it. "That's how I lost this chunk'a my ear."

"Oh."

"And my first few teeth," she added.

"Oh," he repeated, for lack of a better response.

She frowned again, turning away from him. "You must think I'm an idiot," she said quietly. "I bet you're thinking I'm so stupid for letting something like that happen to me again, after my past. I mean, outta anyone I coulda picked to be with, I went and got with some creep who beat the crap outta me, again." She sounded embarrassed, oddly enough.

"Lin, don't be so hard on yourself." He supposed she could stand to be a little harder on herself for possibly killing the man, but they had somehow managed to brush that particular detail aside for the moment. "People don't always turn out to be the way you'd expect. You couldn't have known. And I don't think you're stupid."

"Nah?" she asked.

"Of course not."

"I sure as hell felt stupid. Still do, I guess." She pulled out her calabash pipe, but after glancing at him she seemed to think better of lighting up some tobacco and instead simply held the pipe in her lap. "After my engagement, I was so sure that... That I'd never be in that kinda situation again. I thought I'd be able to spot a shitstain like that from a mile away. I thought I'd know better, but somehow I just... Didn't. Salvatore was cute, and he was funny, and he was real nice at first, y'know? He was an artist, too, and it was so great to have someone to talk to who really understood what I did. We could talk all night." She glanced up at him and grimaced at his uncomfortable expression. "Oh, don't look at me like that, you asked."

"I did," he admitted; that still didn't make it any easier to listen to her talk about another man in such a way, especially one who'd raised a hand to her. "Go on, then."

"It's not like I loved the guy," she clarified. "I mean, I liked him alright. He was fun. Until he wasn't." She looked back down at the pipe in her lap, tracing the scratches in it with her finger. "I didn't know I was pregnant until after I was long gone. I was alone, and I was scared. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to, no options. I guess the only upside was that when people see a pregnant lady begging for food they get a little more generous 'an usual. But handouts only lastya so long, and I was trying to get over the border without getting caught. I heard about a remote convent that was difficult to find, and I thought it'd be a good place to go. That's how I ended up in the mountains, and I found those nuns, and... That's where Gia was born. In that convent."

"I see." He placed a hand on her shoulder; he would have tried to comfort her more, but that was probably the most he'd get away with. "Have you ever told anyone about all this before?"

"...Just one person." She shrugged his hand off her shoulder. "But he took that information to his grave, ifya get my drift."

He should have known she'd threaten him at some point or another. "What are you going to do, get a knife and stab me in the lung?"

"Shows how much you know," she said with a snort. "I didn't have a knife, it was a shard of broken glass."

Shifu felt a chill run up his spine as he tried his hardest not to imagine such a violent scene. "So you were definitely just kidding about having killed the one other person you told about this, right?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I mean, he did take it to his grave. Remember that ex-lover I toldya about who got shot to death?"

"Seeing as you own two guns, this is not making me feel any better."

"Oh, relax!" She punched him in the arm. "See, this's why I don't like tellingya about my past relationships. You gotta blow everything outta proportion."

He furrowed his brow at the implication that he overreacted to the seedy parts of her past. "Yes, I am completely blowing you possibly killing Gia's father out of proportion."

"What, you never killed anyone?"

"Yes, but that is different-"

"Yeah, right!" She scoffed. "Just 'cause the guy who tried to kill me didn't know kung fu you think somehow I was less justified in defending myself, even if that meant I had to kill him first?"

He didn't reply to that; she had a point, but he didn't like thinking of Lin as the type of person who would take someone else's life. He knew from experience what that was like, and how much it became a part of him afterward.

"After that, I got kinda obsessed with getting stronger. But I guess it was an okay way to get my mind off'a stuff. Aside from the part when it got outta hand." She paused, her melancholy gaze fixed on the pipe. "Not that you'd know what it's like, trying to get stronger only because you're so afraid and you don't know what else to do."

He couldn't think of much to say to comfort her. "Lin, you may have killed one man, but you may not have-"

She cut him off with a snort. "Y'think I never killed anyone else? Really?"

Shifu stared at her, blinking; he remembered her mentioning having been to war, but he'd never taken the assertion seriously. He'd become used to her over-inflated tales of adventures she'd likely never had.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," she said with a sigh. "It's not likeya believe anything I ever say. The only reasonya even believe I had Gia's 'cause she showed up in front of your own eyes."

"Lin, that isn't it, it's just- I don't want to imagine you doing things like that. Maybe you aren't the most gentle woman on the planet, but still... I know you have a kind heart. It is difficult to think of you taking a life." He doubted his response would move Lin. He found it barely coherent, himself. The truth was that he was still trying to process the notion of Lin killing people.

She remained silent for a long time, and he was starting to think that she'd gotten angry at him again. Then, quietly, she said, "I think I did."

"What?" he asked, though he knew what she meant.

"I dunno if I killed Salvatore," she told him. "But I think I did. I think he died. But I'll always wonder, and I'll always wish I hadn't chickened out and run away. I wish I'd made absolutely sure he was dead." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if meditating. "I went a long time without thinking about that night."

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"I wouldn't say I'm upset. Not exactly. It's complicated." She placed her hands on her knees and looked away from him. "I killed a lot more people'n just him, y'know. When I went to war... It was what I had to do. And it wasn't easy to put behind me, either. Not that I succeeded in that."

He understood the feeling all too well. "I'm sorry for bringing it up. We don't have to talk about this any longer, Lin."

She ignored him, though. "Something about it gets inya, whenya kill that many men. Sometimes, it was hard not to be back there on that battlefield, in my head, even years after. Sometimes, I started hitting and couldn't stop. But I can't say much for those times. Don't remember a whole lot." She paused and shook her head. "I used to fight for money. I was real good at it, at first. But I guess it brought me back to the war too much. And back to that night with Salvatore."

Shifu realized for the first time since they'd begun their conversation that Lin was shaking. "You don't need to tell me anything more if you don't want to."

She snorted. "I ain't used to hearing that from you."

He supposed he couldn't blame her.

"Look, the point is that Gia shouldn't ever know." She looked back at him, and he could swear that she had tears in her eyes. "You know her. She's a good girl. I knowya don't agree with me, about how much I've kept from her, how much I told Anna and the other nuns to keep from her. But I only ever wanted to protect her. I owe it to her to protect her, no matter how I feel. D'you know what it'd do to her, if I told her the truth? If I told her that her own father woulda killed me if he had the chance? That even if he's alive, she could never meet him, because that would put her in danger? I... I knew that convent was a good place to leave her. Not just 'cause of Anna, but also 'cause I knew she'd be hidden there. I had to hide her, from her own father, who I may or may not have murdered, anyway. You don't know what it's like, so I don't expectya to understand. But I'm hoping you'll try."

He decided that he didn't care whether she'd take kindly to him touching her or not. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side, regardless. "What you tell Gia is up to you," he assured her. "I won't say a word."

"Thanks."

"But she's going to keep asking questions, regardless of how vehemently you try to shut her down. You don't need to tell her everything. Not yet. But you need to give her something. I mean, she thought I was her father most of her life, for gods' sakes."

"Hey, that wasn't my doing," Lin argued. "And I know she'll keep asking questions. I been trying to come up with a good lie to tell her."

"Don't lie to her," he said firmly. "It will only cause a rift between you. And telling the truth is the right thing to do."

She frowned at him, but let him continue to hold her. "How would you tell Tigress, then?" she asked.

He blinked at her, taken aback by the question. "I'm sorry?"

"If it were Tigress," she said firmly, determinedly. "I mean if it were Tigress, and this was the story of her parents. Y'know, her birth parents. Say you knew all about it, and she kept asking. How would you tell her?"

He remained silent for a long time, trying to think up a proper answer. "...I don't know."

"That's what I thought." Lin shrugged his arm off her shoulders and leaned away from him. "It's not just her story, either. It's my story, my life. That makes it harder. You talk like it's a matter of telling the truth, as simple as that. But you wouldn't be able to do it, either. Maybe keep that in mind, next time you're getting all huffy that I won't tellya about my life."

He should have known she'd end up scolding him. That seemed to be their entire dynamic, lately. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

She only grunted in response, rubbing at her face with her hands. She was clearly overwhelmed, and rightfully so.

Although things between them were strained at best, Shifu still took the chance of offering his support. "Lin, this must have been a difficult night for you. And I know you were not feeling emotionally prepared for this conversation, either. So come back to the Jade Palace. Let me take care of you for the night. Anything you need, I'm here."

Lin left her face buried in her hands and sniffed loudly.

"Does that mean you accept my offer?"

"Shifu..." She sniffed again and returned her hands to her lap, once more playing with her pipe. "I didn't wanna ask this. I don't even wanna know the answer. But I gotta."

"I promise you I will answer any questions you have honestly." He had a bad feeling when she refused to look at him.

"Are- are you treating me well now 'cause you realized I deserve it? Or 'cause you finally had to face consequences for treating me like shit for so long? If I hadn't left, would you even be half this nice to me?"

He stared at her, his mouth half-open. "You truly think I could be that self-serving?" He felt like a fool, after hearing her ask him such a thing. He'd thought that he could earn Lin's trust back, that they were rebuilding their relationship, when this entire time she hadn't even believed any of his words or actions had been honest.

"I dunno what to think!" she snapped, immediately defensive. "So just answer me! I need to know."

"Let me tell you what I think, first." He had put up with a lot from Lin under the assumption that he was the one who had wronged her, that he deserved her poor treatment and needed to weather it in order to prove himself. This was too far, though. "I think you have already decided what to think, regardless of my answer. You think I am some low-life, biding my time and waiting until I have an excuse to belittle you. Isn't that right?"

"I dunno! I dunno." Lin was in tears, her voice cracking as she spoke. He realized that she had been trying not to cry from the beginning. "I just- I just wanna be happy."

Shifu realized that he had gotten too caught up in his anger, yet again. Lin wasn't acting out of resentment. She truly was too confused and wounded to trust him. And perhaps her past had played a large part in that, but he had, too. He took a moment to reach out his hand for her, to show her that he was trying to understand. "Lin, I'm sorry-"

"Me too," she blubbered, then buried her face in his shoulder and let him hold her while she cried. This was not the turn he had expected their conversation to take, but he gladly comforted her while she finally let herself express the grief and fear dredged up from her past.

By the time she was done, most of the lights in the houses down in the village had gone out for the night, and a chill had set into the air. This was not the first time he had witnessed Lin crying like this, but it still caused his heart to ache for her. "Let's go to bed," he offered, pushing himself to his feet, wincing at his stiff hip.

Lin nodded, tucking her pipe back into her shirt, and let him help her up.

"I want you to stay in bed the entire night this time, regardless of when you wake. You need the rest and the warmth. I'll even bring you some breakfast in bed when I get up. Alright?"

She nodded again, yawning, and leaned against him. "Okay. Thanks."

"Okay."

They made it back up the steps before Lin spoke again. "I hope Gia's okay." Though that sentiment had been unexpected, it shouldn't have been now that Lin had divulged her past. She had gone through a great deal to protect Gia. Of course, she would worry about the girl.

"I could check on her," he offered. "If you're not up to it."

"I dunno," she said with a sigh. "Seems like a bad idea for either of us to go looking for her right now. Maybe tomorrow."

He could see how Gia might not want to hear from either of them, looking back on her argument with Lin and how it had ended. "Alright. Let's all get some rest and hopefully things will be a little less heated in the morning."

Lin snorted skeptically.

"We'll play it by ear."

Once they made it back to his room, he helped Lin get settled into bed. He even fluffed her many pillows for her and tucked her in with a kiss. It felt nice to take care of her in these little ways, though he didn't say so in case that was too much for her.

"Hey." Lin rolled over in bed to face him and gave him a gentle nudge. "You still awake?"

"Yes, I am." He might have trouble sleeping tonight, considering all he had learned about her. He wondered if perhaps Lin wanted to discuss anything else related to her past.

"So now can we have sex?" Or not.

Shifu sighed to himself. "Okay."

---

Shifu woke slowly to the sound of Lin coughing up her morning phlegm. And spitting it into his handkerchief, while sitting beside him in bed. He cracked his eyes open to glare at her, not that she noticed. "You can throw that away."

"You're so squeamish," Lin said with a snort. "Hand me my teeth."

"Ugh," he complained before the implications of her demand finally dawned on him. "Wait- when did you take them out?"

She waggled her eyebrows at him. "You know when."

He lifted the blankets, grimacing when he found her bridges in the bed. "Please tell me you plan to disinfect these."

"Oh, yeah, sure," she accepted with a shrug, then grabbed the teeth from his hand and shoved them into her mouth regardless.

Shifu sighed to himself, then held out his hand. "Very well, I'll do it."

"Oh, thanks." Of course, Lin had no qualms with yanking her fake teeth from her mouth and dropping them back in his hand. Because Lin was, quite possibly, the grossest woman to have ever lived.

"Don't mention it," he grumbled, holding her wooden teeth between two fingers to minimize the amount of contact he had with them. He ignored Lin laughing at him and left her to perform basic hygiene for her, pointedly withholding the teeth when he returned to bed. "You must promise me you will never let me do that again." He shuddered at the memory of what he'd found in her partial dentures.

"Yeah, yeah." She snatched them from him before putting them back in place. "It's weird not having 'em in. Like my mouth's naked or something."

"Since when does nudity bother you?" he asked and got a playful slap on the arm as an answer. Disgusting habits aside, he did enjoy waking up with Lin in the morning. He kissed her while she was still in a good mood, then leaned back into his pillows with a yawn. "Are you able to stay for a little while?"

"Yeah, I got nowhere pressing to be," she answered, which he could already tell was a setup for a dirty joke. "B'sides under you."

"Har har."

"Actually, I got something I wanted to talk about," she continued, surprising him. Usually, when Lin started making dirty jokes she devolved fairly quickly into hitting on him. "So y'know Tai Lung's visions I was tellingya about?"

Shifu perked up, nodding as he answered. "Yes, of course. What about them?"

"So remember how I said they were, like, my memories?" She sat up in bed, drawing her knees up to rest her arms on them. "How's that possible? Why's Tai Lung having visions that're my memories?"

He rubbed at his chin as he thought. That was indeed a conundrum, but he had studied Oogway's many writings extensively throughout the years, and he vaguely recalled his master having mentioned something like that. "I believe it has to do with a spiritual bond. That's something else Oogway has written about, if you would like me to try to find the scroll for you."

"Yeah, that'd be a big help. Thanks." It was a bit surreal to hear Lin calmly thank him like this.

"You are welcome." He waited for her to make a joke at his expense, but she only yawned. "Are you alright?"

"Eh," she replied with a small shrug. "Feeling kinda sad today."

"Oh." He was used to Lin being direct, but not as much when it came to her moods. "What about?"

"Life in general," she said with an unexpected amount of apathy. "Consider it an existential malaise."

He had no idea what an existential malaise was supposed to be, but he nodded along regardless. "I have an idea that might make you feel a little bit better."

"Is it sex?" she asked, because of course she would.

"No. Good gods." He rubbed at his temples, certain she would give him a migraine before the day's end. "Can't I have some rest between rounds, at least?"

She snorted at his question, though it had been somewhat sincere. "Too bad. I got today off and I wanna spend it screaming."

"You're the worst." He took a moment to try to get his blush under control, but to no avail. "I was trying to ask you on another date." He had been planning to do so ever since she'd left him on their first date, though he'd been waiting for the right moment. Now he realized that, at least when it came to Lin, there was no such thing.

"Andya thought since I ditched the last one, this'd be a good idea?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.

"I thought you could use a break," he said firmly. He was not going to let her derail this conversation with her glib sarcasm. "You are very clearly under an immense amount of stress right now, and I know that I am responsible for at least some of it. I thought I could take you someplace quiet I know of where you could relax without distractions."

Lin stared at him, her eyebrows now even higher. "Wait. You're being... Considerate?"

"Oh good gods," he grumbled. "Forget it."

Lin laughed at his frustration, so at least he had somewhat cheered her up. "Okay, so you wanna show me a quiet place. What's it like?"

He supposed he could let her obtuse question go. "It is nothing fancy. Just a secluded cave where I go to meditate sometimes."

Lin stared at him again.

"What?"

"So... You want me, a single woman whose whereabouts are currently unknown, to follow you alone to a secret murder cave?" She leaned away from him a little. "And that's whatya consider a date?"

"I am not trying to murder you!" Shifu could feel his eye twitching already. "Obviously!"

"Is it obvious, though?" she asked in the snottiest tone possible. "First the awl, and now you got this secret murder cave you're trying to lure me to. You been giving off some pretty murdery vibes lately."

"It is not a murder cave, it's a meditation cave. For meditating!"

She laughed at him again. "Now this's cheering me up. You're so funny whenya get all worked up like this."

"Wow, thank you," he replied sarcastically.

"And I like it when you're funny," she added, stroking his ear. "Puts me in the mood."

"As if that's so special," he said with a huff. "The list of things that do not 'put you in the mood' is shorter."

"Oh, you are hankering for a spanking." Lin climbed into his lap and kissed him, which was not the reaction he'd expected her to have to his taunting. "But first, gimme an orgasm. I'm too horny to wait."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again, though only briefly. "Only if you agree to come to my very safe and not at all murder-related cave." He knew how to bargain with her at this point.

Lin grinned knowingly at him. "I'm gonna need more convincing 'an that."

Despite his earlier protestations, he wanted to give in to her when she smiled at him like that. He kissed her deeply and pushed her back into her pillows, then flipped her onto her stomach. He guessed from her screeching laugh that she'd appreciated that move, though his ears might ring for a bit. "Well? Are you coming to my cave or not?"

"You can come into my cave," was her predictable reply.

"I'm not touching you again until I get an answer," he warned.

Lin let out a sigh so long and drawn out that he was surprised she didn't need to stop to catch her breath. "Fine! I'll go to your murder cave. First dead body I see, though, I'm out."

"Fair enough. Same to you."

"Hey!" she protested with a laugh. "I might hafta rethink my invitation, now."

"We both know you're not going to do that." He leaned down to kiss her shoulder, smiling at her laughter. He wished he could make her laugh like this all the time. "But let's at least have breakfast, first."

---

"So this's the murder cave, huh?" Lin stared up at the mouth of the cave they had hiked over an hour to get to, which she'd already complained about multiple times. It had kind of been worth it, though. They had gone deeper into the mountains than she'd ever bothered to before, up to this secluded ledge shrouded in mist and surrounded by a dozen tiny waterfalls. The rocks of the cave were covered in moss, a brilliant green even this late into winter, and inside it was a massive natural pool guarded by an ornately carved stone dragon.

"It is called the Dragon Grotto," Shifu corrected her. "And Master Oogway found this place hundreds of years ago. He used to bring me here for quiet meditation."

"He really had a thing for dragons," Lin observed. "He ever meet one?"

"He did not say." Shifu contemplated the moss-covered dragon statue, leaning on his staff a little more heavily than she suspected he needed to. "It is entirely possible."

Lin decided not to pry. She recognized nostalgia when she saw it... And grief. "Wish you'd warned me it'd be this nice. I coulda brought some watercolors along."

"This trip was not for you to work," he said with an annoyed huff. "You need to relax."

"Don't tell me what I need." He was right, but she still snapped at him on principle.

"I am only trying to help." He placed a hand on her shoulder, his expression serious- well, more serious than usual. "I think it is a good idea for you to dedicate some time to pursuing calm."

"Pursuing calm?" Lin repeated skeptically. "Okay, now you're creeping me out."

"In what way?" he asked, his ear twitching.

"This stuff sounds nothing like you," she pointed out. "Since when d'you know anything about being calm?"

"If all you are going to do is give me a hard time-"

"You can give me a hard time," she interrupted with a waggle of her eyebrows.

Judging from Shifu's flat glare, he wasn't planning to take her up on her offer. "I am trying to do something nice for you. The least you could do is refrain from mocking me for it."

Lin had to admit, he had gone out of his way to take her to someplace really peaceful and beautiful. As much as she disliked the idea of Shifu pitying her, she should probably show some appreciation. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the hour-long hike up a mountain."

"Your gratitude is breathtaking," he said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm, then grabbed him by the shirt to give him a kiss. "There, better?"

He still had that grumpy frown on his face, but he was blushing now. "Perhaps a little."

"Thought so." She gave him one more kiss before he could keep grousing at her. "You saidya wanted to meditate?"

"Y-yes." Shifu paused to clear his throat. "Yes. I thought meditation in a spiritually significant place would do us both some good."

Lin didn't know how much good meditation would do her at this point, but since Shifu didn't know about her visions she let that sentiment go. At least she could rest somewhere peaceful for the day if nothing else. "Okay. So... How do we do that with all this water around?"

Shifu held out his hand to her. "May I?"

She'd had a feeling he was going to manhandle her at some point, but at least he'd asked permission first. "Yeah, sure," she gave in, taking his hand. He pulled her close enough to pick her up, then jumped to an island of stone in the middle of the cave's pool. Though it was small, there was enough room for them to sit side by side, as long as they were pressed against each other. She wondered how much of that had been contrived. "This dragon's kinda distracting."

"Close your eyes, then," he replied shortly.

She'd forgotten how surly he got when he was trying to meditate. Which was the opposite of the desired effect in her opinion, but she decided not to point that out to him. She lowered her gaze to the water, half-expecting to see that kraken's eye staring back up at her. Thankfully, she only saw her own reflection. No wonder Shifu thought she needed a day off. She looked like hell.

She had a right to look like hell after the past few days she'd had. Especially after she'd talked about Salvatore yesterday. She'd been trying not to think about him at all since Gia had found her, but that was impossible in the end. Gia had his ears. And the same gray fur. It took a lot out of her, sometimes, to look at that girl and not let the memories come rushing back. She'd been stupid to think she could outrun them, though. Just like she'd been stupid all those years ago, to ignore the signs that Salvatore had just been a repeat of the past. All the jealousy, the anger, the possessive attitude... She'd let it all slide because she'd been stupid enough to believe she could trust him. Why? Just because he'd been nice to her, once in a while? Her and her awful decisions.

Lin rubbed at her face and tried to block those thoughts from her mind, but again, that wasn't what meditation was meant for. She had to let those thoughts come and go. She had to try to detach herself from them, as impossible as that felt. She had to try not to let the memory of how it had felt to push something sharp into living flesh consume her. She shouldn't shake or let her heart race. She had to control her breathing.

"Fuck this." She stood up and turned in a full circle to find some way to get across the pool of water, but in the end, she just had to jump in. It only came up to her waist, anyway.

"Lin! What are you doing?"

"Fuck off!" She headed straight for the mouth of the cave, then started the long hike back down the mountain. It wasn't going to be pleasant to make that hike wet from the waist down, but the shock of the cold helped her come back to herself and focus.

"Lin!" Shifu darted in front of her like he often did when she tried to get away from him. "Where are you going? What is happening?"

"Ugh, you're such a quiz master," she grumbled. She tried to push past him, but he got right in front of her again. "Canya not? I'm going home."

"Why?" he asked. "You just swore and leaped up out of nowhere- did something happen? Are you alright?"

Lin hated when he got all nosy and concerned. She hated it because she wanted to believe he meant it. "I don't wanna meditate," she snapped. "I don't wanna sit in your damp murder cave all day! Get outta my way."

Shifu squared his shoulders, his ear twitching. "No. I will not move until you tell me what happened."

"I don't gotta tell you shit. You think you're so enlightened? An enlightened person would know enough not to pry into someone else's past all the time!" She tried to push him out of the way, but he grabbed her hands and held them firmly. "Lemme go!"

"I'm sorry," Shifu said softly, then pulled her closer and held her. "I did not realize this would make you feel worse. I'm sorry."

"Fuck you," she grumbled, because what right did he have to act like he cared? What right did he have to act like he was gentle or kind, after what he'd done to her? "I hate you. I hate you." She hoped that hurt. She couldn't see his face, but she hoped she was the one who'd made him cry, for once.

"I'll take you home," he said, rubbing her back. "And I'll get you something warm to eat. I promise you'll be alright."

"Whatever." She was starting to wind down from her adrenaline spike, and she no longer had the energy to fight with him. She just wanted to go to sleep. She leaned into Shifu and let him pick her up and carry her, because she had no dignity left.

At some point, she did drift off to a shallow sleep, still aware of Shifu's arms around her and his warmth against her. In that sleep, she could only feel relief. There was no past, no future, just this moment. This warmth, this softness, and the sound of his heartbeat. For the short time she slept, she was happy. She could admit that she loved him, because there was nothing else attached to that feeling. She could just feel that comfort alone, like anyone else. Waking life still awaited her, though, and it would erase this bliss. That thought disturbed her enough to wake her up, just as they reached her house. "Shifu," she croaked out, her throat scratchy. "Sorry I freaked out."

He paused to set her down on her feet. "Thank you for apologizing. I tried not to take it too personally, even when you said you hate me."

She winced, then gestured for him to follow her into her house. "I didn't mean that."

"I know."

With a sigh, Lin dropped down into her bed, surprised when Shifu followed her. She'd expected him to leave, to be honest. "Listen. I wantya to know..." She'd been about to tell him about how she'd felt in that dream state, but she stopped herself. Had that even been true? Or just wishful thinking overtaking her brain as she'd slept? "I wantya to know that I'm grateful you've been here for me."

"Of course," Shifu said, pulling a blanket over her. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," she said with a huff. "Don't rub it in."

He laughed at her response, then sat up. "I am going to head into town for a bit to buy you some food. Any requests?"

"You don't gotta do that."

"Too bad, I want to."

Lin closed her eyes, but she doubted she'd fall asleep again. "You know me. Anything but noodles."

"Got it, all the noodles I can carry."

"Smartass."

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me." He gently kissed her forehead, and then she heard him leave.

Lin opened her eyes and turned her head to stare at the ocean she'd painted on her walls. Even though she was far from the sea, the thought of it filled her with a sense of belonging she only felt with those waves, that salty air. Something watched her, just out of sight. And the water's rhythm filled her ears, like the slow beating of a vast heart.

---

A/N: Phewww! This was a hard chapter to write (not as hard as the next one will be, but oh well). As always, I'll start with the references: Lin talking about feeling magenta was paraphrasing Blanche in the Golden Girls, episode 203 Take Him, He's Mine. "Your eyes cross when you lie" was a nod to Bob's Burgers, specifically the season 2 episode Burgerboss.

As for the Italian phrases, here are some translations (prepare yourselves):

"Sta' zitto! A fanabla!"

... You're a mean old woman! Go to hell!

"Caccati in mano e prenditi a schiaffi!"

... Take a dump in your hand and then slap yourself!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Now I'm going to take a much needed break to play Stardew Valley like the cool kid I am.