Broken Fairies

by EnergyMageFrea

Light Magic has won over Dark in the battle to decide the Balance of the world, but shadow has never settled so thickly over the Fairy Tail Guild as it has now, and that darkness does not seem to want to leave. Is it possible, after all the evil and the pain suffered, lived through and triumphed over by the Guild- that Fairy Tail has finally broken? {Fourth Story in Series!}

31. Chapter 31- All Of It

Chapter 31

All Of It

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, only my own OC's, Energy Magic, and Ideas

.:+:.

They're exhausted

Frea grimaced slightly, casting a glance behind her and silver eyes glimmering for the figures of Erza, Moon, Carla, Wendy and Mira all fast asleep, pressed close together and not even stirring a little when Frea carefully moved herself out from the middle of them... They'd pressed in close on all sides, and stayed that way for quite awhile even as she woke up, and spent a fair chunk of time just laying in silence, staring at the canopy- until eventually she could lay there no longer and had to move. So she moved to the edge of the bed, leaving them where they were and they didn't even budge as she did so- as she'd said, they were exhausted... The whole Guild was, everyone who had dropped in to check on her were all tired too, though they did their best to hide it. She could still tell all the same though, and she sighed for it... And their walking on eggshells around her, hovering, fidgeting- all of it.

All of it, on top of everything else swimming in her head, just wasn't helping anything... She needed it to stop swirling so much, she needed it to still, and she needed everything and everyone else to settle too.

More so than anything though, she needed to just... Get out of this room.

She glanced up, her eyes gleaming as she caught sight of the Barren Girl from before again, the child peaking slightly from around the entrance and blushing slightly when she caught Frea's eye. She averted her eyes quite quickly for it, before glancing up slowly again and taking a tentative step passed the corner, pausing in the entrance and almost waiting... The girl's hands twitched, before beckoning cautiously toward the door, questioning, and Frea let out a breath, her expression softening slightly.

She turned from the girl, her hand coming down softly on Moon's head and rubbing it gently, trying her best to rouse the Exceed as nicely as possible. Moon let out a small grumble at it, her usual hard-to-wake demeanor flaring instantly as she curled up into a ball a bit more tightly. Frea rubbed her head a bit more and the Exceed's ears twitched, one pale blue eye peeking open to see what was bothering her, and her groggy focus finding Frea.

"... Hmm..? Is... Something wrong...?" Moon asked instantly, trying to shake off her sleepiness hastily, but Frea shook her head and rubbed the Exceed's ears reassuringly.

"... No, nothing's wrong." Frea assured quietly, "I just need some air, and I didn't want to leave without telling anyone where I was going." She explained, and Moon paused.

"... Oh... Uhm, alright... I'll come with you then-" Moon started, but Frea shook her head again.

"No, you're tired still, just go back to sleep." Frea mumbled, her head tilting in the direction of the Barren Girl. "I'll be alright, I'll have company, so don't worry." Moon blinked, her eyes finding the little girl for a few seconds and looking hesitant, her eyes moving back to Frea slowly.

"... Are you sure...?" Moon asked tentatively, Frea nodded.

"Yeah I'm sure."

"... Okay... Be careful, please...? Don't push yourself...?" Moon murmured quietly, Frea nodded just once more, but otherwise said nothing to it. Moon watched Frea move away from the bed and toward the Barren Girl, her hand falling in the younger's lightly as she got lead out of the room and all the way out of sight- and when Moon could see them no longer, her eyes dropped closed, slowly.

What waited for her outside the room, was that hall full of dozens upon dozens of pools of water- to which Drennios had dragged her underneath with that damned Collar. Frea's hold on the Barren Girl's hand tightened without her meaning for it to, her silver eyes deadlocked to the stone walkway winding between the dark and deep pools, and never daring to let her attention move anywhere but where she was placing her feet. She kept hold of the younger's hand, and absolutely would not look at the water for even a second. She held her breath the whole way through, afraid if she let the scent hit her nose it would make her freeze, or bring with it the stench of death she knew wasn't actually there- but it wouldn't matter if it was or not.

The girl lead her forward at a steady pace all the way across the hall and to the heavy doors on the other end, all too aware of the tightness of the Energess' grip but not quite sure why. She didn't question it though, she wouldn't- she just kept forward, quick and yet not rushing, not pulling too hard- and kept up with it all the way to the doors, and they slipped passed the halfway open doorway.

Frea didn't dare breathe again until she was sure she wouldn't catch the scents, she waited all the way until they turned a corner and the grand doors into the hall were out of sight. By then the slightly quickened beating of her heart in her ears had started to drown out the sound of their steps, and she let the breath out again, and took in a sharp one in not a moment after. Her lungs hating her for the lack of oxygen for as long as she'd denied them that, but it was better than the alternative of breathing in the smells, and what would come with them.

The Barren Girl slowed up when they left the hall behind, Frea's grip on her hand lessening after awhile, but the girl never separated their hands again. She simply cast the Energess a small glance every once in awhile, checking to see if she was alright, limping, dizzy, or anything of the kind. Frea caught her searching eyes only once, after she'd settled down out of the little rise of unease, and they'd been making steady progress through the halls and toward... Somewhere in particular...?

"... Where are we going..?" Frea murmured, her head tilting in question. The little girl smiled faintly, almost sympathetically so, but she didn't garner a response, and Frea was just left to follow if she wanted to find out.

They headed down a little, the floor sloping slightly and gradually instead of turning into stairs, and further toward the west section of Okeal... and the further they went the more she started to recognize it. Little flashes things, ghosts of Mordren's memory overlaying her reality, the same hallways, the same windows- aged, and many of them broken now- but all the same still.

This is...?

The hallway ended in a huge archway, the edges of it made up of glass panels of a million different hues. It dumped out into open air and sky, the marble flooring turning to sun-bleached stone, stretching out to look over the valley and filled with trees, and plants, and other vegetation of all kinds. Growing wild and free, full of life and greenery and so... Quiet.

... The palace gardens...?

They both drew up just as they reached the archway, the cool night air wafting in with the scent of a million things, flowers, grass, leaves, animals too, and faint hints of ash and smoke... And something else too, something familiar, with a faint sweet-tinge to it and Frea blinked, her eyes flashing.

She glanced down at the girl, the younger's hand slipping from Frea's finally and smiling faintly as she gestured in toward the gardens in a little signal for Frea to go in. The Energess hesitated a moment, but the little girl just beckoned a bit more, a little more insistent, and Frea forced a small breath.

"... Thank you." Frea mumbled, tipping her head slightly to the girl- who went bright red at the thanks, hiding her face in her hands as she nodded, and then scurried off as quick as she could. Frea shook her head a little as she ran off, her eyes trailing slowly back out into the gardens once she was gone, and Frea slower still to take the first step forward.

The fresh air was wonderful, the sky overhead a deep black tinged with a million stars, and only broken by wisps of cloud here and there. She took in several long, deep breaths as she wound her way slowly through the overgrown and barely visible paths through the vegetation. She was never quite sure of where she was going, only that she was headed in mostly the right direction... Closer and closer toward that familiar, prickly, semi-sweet scent she picked out so easily among everything else that should have overwhelmed it.

And every step felt like a step closer to the edge of that pit lurking at the edges of her mind, wanting so badly to swallow her whole and make her crumble... Shit

She shook her head at herself, doing her utmost just to focus on where she was going, and not what it might lead to when she got there.

She went all the way through the gardens, the trees and plants thinning out slightly and giving away to a little clearing that butted up against the edge- a ledge that stuck out from the rest of the Palace, bordered by stacked stone walls that were topped with slabs of smooth granite, serving as a railing in the way of the massive drop just on the other side. The distant visage of the city in the bottom of the valley glowed only faintly, what light available owed to Lacrima-lamps and what few Salmellion remained- and it was quiet, utterly so. The only thing to be heard was the rustle of leaves and grass, the faint skittering of tiny paws in unseen placed, and the fluttering of birds intermittently overhead... Even her own footfalls seemed unnaturally quiet, and she slowed without meaning to.

He was standing at the railing, leaning into it with his elbows and back facing her, motionless and just as quiet as everything else. He didn't budge as she got closer, and she blinked, her eyes narrowing slightly at the faint rigidness in his posture- but more so for the bandages and wounds she saw poking passed his clothes, and all down his arms and hands. Frea stepped up slowly, her silver eyes flashing as her left hand found an uncertain place holding onto the fabric of the sling that held her right arm and shoulder in place.

"Laxus." She mumbled softly, the sound of her voice shattering the quiet and making him stiffen near right away. He straightened up, pushing himself back from leaning into the railing to face her, and in doing so- earning a flash of pain that sparked off him and rammed into her. The movement hurt, though Laxus didn't show any indication of the pain she felt from him outwardly, and he certainly didn't seem to notice the look on her face either. The surprise on his face at her being there at all quickly turned to something wary, and he stepped toward her a little more.

"Oi, are you supposed to be up..?" He grumbled, his tone a tad scolding and she bit the inside of her cheek at it.

"I'm fine." She mumbled lowly and he quirked a brow at her- he didn't look that convinced, but she didn't linger on it either. "What about you? You look like hell..." She hissed and he sighed at the question, shaking his head and looking a little exasperated with it.

"I'm alright, don't worry about it." Laxus grumbled, "What are you doing out here? Don't tell me you ran off under everyone's noses." She huffed at it, her eyes glittering and frowning a tad.

"I didn't run off, I told Moon I was going out." She shot back lowly, her eyes falling a moment as she grit her teeth slightly. "... I just... needed some air..." She mumbled and Laxus paused, his eyes narrowing more at the way her voice dropped and she seemed to fade away for a moment, his lips pulling in a faint frown.

"... Are you okay?" He asked, his voice dropping a tad too and she stiffened at it, her lips nearly pursing as she kept quiet for a second, almost like she was debating on what she was going to say. But the way she went rigid was enough to know the answer, and Laxus swallowed, his eyes trailing up and down her figure slowly, taking in the damage, the way she was starting to tremble, the way her breathing seemed to hitch at his question- all of it.

His hands twitched at his sides, his jaw clenching for a moment and swallowing. He meant to reach out for her, but he drew up before he'd even started- as soon as he tried his eyes stalled their searching and settled on the bandages covering her chest, and his throat ran dry.

It happened again damn it. The memory of it invaded his thoughts in an instant, the sound of her heart stalling and skipping, the booming of it, the sensation of it under his hands and in his Magic, the way she'd tensed up, the way it hurt- tch...

He grit his teeth harder for it, shaking his head roughly at himself and hating the hesitation.

Frea was shaking a bit more now, her hand clutching to the bottom of the sling shaking terribly. She grit her teeth against what swirl of emotion and unease rammed into her the minute he asked the question- that damn question... everybody had been asking that, but with him...?

As soon as he asked it, she couldn't stop it from overtaking her entirely, and she fought so hard not to let it. She didn't want to fall apart, she didn't want to let it swallow her whole- she didn't want to tip over the edge and down into that lurking pit... but she couldn't keep teetering at the edge of it forever.

I... I can't keep it together... s..shit...

"... I... I..." She stammered breathlessly and Laxus grimaced at the way her voice almost cracked.

"... Frea..." He rumbled lowly, inching a bit closer now when she let out a low, quavering breath, and she shook her head slightly.

"... damn it..." She hissed and he stiffened faintly for the answer. She backed up a pace from him, her hand falling on the back of her neck and forcing herself to hold her breath a moment- and Laxus stayed put, watching carefully and biting the inside of his cheek as she turned away from him halfway, and started to pace a little. Her hand remained holding tightly to the back of her neck as she started the pacing, her head bent, eyes scrunched closed.

"... shit... everybody's been asking that and I... I've been saying I am... but... tch..."

Her pacing stopped nearly as soon as it began, her shoulders hunching slightly as her hand on the back of her neck tightened so much she must have been hurting herself- but she hardly felt the pain of it at all.

"...t...tch... I'm not... even close to being... okay..." She whispered and he stiffened at it, and how brutally, and terribly honest the answer was.

Her hand let go of the back of her neck, shaking as she clenched it into a fist and she shook her head hotly, her teeth gritting so hard they threatened to crack.

"... All of this... was bad...f-from the start... but... shit... i-it's been so much worse... than any of you guys... could imagine..." Frea hissed, her voice shaking more and more by the minute- and so was she. In not even three minutes she was already scrambling to keep the pieces of herself together enough they didn't crumble all the way, but she was headed there quicker than she could fight it, and she hated herself for it.

"... s...shit... thing's are so much worse... than you realize..."

Laxus' eyes narrowed at the words, stiff in his spot and not quite sure what she meant by it...?

She sucked in a big breathe air and held it for a few seconds too many, her shoulders hunching as she shook her head stiffly.

"... fuck... so much of this... there's so much that... that's strewn between so many different people... people who know... little bits... but... but not the whole thing... Not everything... A-And... even just trying... to keep track...of who knows what... I... my head... I can't do it... it... it's too much..." She hissed lowly, her teeth gritting harder. "... y... you said you'd take it all... you said it didn't matter to you... what I've done... or what I might do... o-or anything else... you said I didn't... have to pretend... and... I... I know you said you didn't care... a-about the details... but..."

Her voice broke entirely then and Laxus' heart ached for it, his eyes flashing as she bent in a little on herself. Her breathing was elevated now, her words barely stringing together the more she managed to say, and the more she got dangerously close breaking, just like her voice did. And she was trying so hard not to, so much so it was hurting her to fight it, and he swallowed hard.

"... I... I don't think... I can do it anymore... not...not after this... I can't... keep going... w-with all of it... Trying to... keep track of it... Keep everything... To myself... Any...anymore..." Frea stammered breathlessly, "... I... I'm so... So sorry... I don't wanna make things m-more complicated... o-or worse... By doing it... or m-make you live with... so much...but... But... I... I need to tell someone... I... Need s-someone other than me... Who knows a-about..." Her voice broke off again, she swallowed hard enough he heard it. She lift her head finally, those silver eyes glistening, so full of pain and fear, and nearly on the edge of tears.

"..about... All of it..." She whispered, and Laxus stared, his eyes widening slightly and his mind completely derailing on the words.

All of...?

"... I... I need somebody to know... a-about all of it... Somebody that's not me... I can't keep living... With being the only one... W-who knows about all of it... About all... All the bad that I... I've been keeping locked up...t..tch...I... It's tearing m-me apart..."

She broke off again, her eyes falling from him and shutting them tightly against the line of tears that managed to spill over, even when she did everything to try and keep them back.

Laxus didn't move, his mind seemed to have stalled and all he could do was stare- because...?

Did... Did she really mean all of it...?

All those things he knew she hid, and never talked about, and never expected she would?

Things like all she'd blurted out that night after the Reach? About Mordren, reliving his memories? About her having been to the Reach more than she should? About... People having already died for her before...?

About... All of it...?

Could she really mean that? After so long of keeping so many things to herself, and being so royally stubborn about it? Now she was ready to just... Say it...?

Had... Had all of this been that bad?

Not just bad, but worse than that- as she said? Bad enough she would do the one thing he wasn't sure she ever would do? Bad enough she had finally reached the point where she'd decided, or maybe even needed to say it?

That she'd chosen now was when she needed to... To tell him about all of it?

The tears kept coming, quiet mostly, though her breath was hitching more and more as the seconds ticked by. The tears glittered in the moonlight as they fell from her eyes, splashing against the white stone underfoot and Frea let out a shaky breath, shaking her head again.

"... I'm sorry... I just... I don't know... H-how, or if... It'll... Make any sense to you... I don't wanna... B-Burden you with it... B-but..." Frea stammered shakily and Laxus' eyes flashed, his face falling at the words.

Burden? It wouldn't-

"... I... I can't-" Frea stammered breathlessly still, before her voice broke off completely, strangled almost as she sucked in a sharp breath of air and she cringed.

Her thoughts and the whirling of her mind got shattered in an instant as chilly, searing pain igniting in her very core and gripped her tight. Pain that raced through every bone, every muscle, and every nerve all at once- raging like a fire from her center and making her grow rigid against it. Her jaw snapped shut, her shoulders hunching as she doubled over almost right away, her fingers digging into the fabric over her chest as she tried her best not to hiss, and failed miserably.

D-damn it... not now...

The icy cold in her center got just a bit worse, a little bit more of her Soul being taken over, bitten and chewed off by the Darkness festering still- and more so now, after everything. It was worse than a thousand swords running through her person all at once, worse than her blood being turned to fire- this was blinding, suffocating... Torture...

She wasn't breathing, her breaths had hitched and she curled in on herself, the trembling born of all that anxiousness and emotion suddenly turning to shakes born of pain. She bent over, her legs wobbling and any attention on what she'd been saying, or where she was, or even staying standing- it all got derailed. She winced harshly, the sharp yelp of pain that escaped her broken and jagged as it slipped past her gritted teeth. Her hand gripped tighter to the shirt over her chest- and Laxus felt his heart drop into his feet in an instant.

She tilted forward, her legs buckling underneath her to send her slamming down onto her knees, and then to the ground entirely.

"Frea!"

He was there without a second to waste, hissing as she fell into him as he struggled to save her crashing onto the stone. He managed it barely, both of them forced onto their knees and Frea leaning heavily into him, doubled over his arm where he had curled it underneath her to halt her tilting forward too far. She didn't even try to hold herself up at all, she seemed to be having a hard enough trying to breathe properly- the little stint of not breathing at all had now suddenly turned into raggedy panting, and he stiffened at it. His jaw clenched, training his ears right away to pick up on the sound of her heartbeat, his own heart-rate racing now, panic hitting him full on at just how quickly she seemed to collapse, and out of nowhere.

Shit, don't tell me...!

"Oi, is your heart bothering you...?!" He hissed lowly,

He hated it was his first thought, but where else was his head to go? It couldn't go anywhere else, not when she stopped like that, not how quickly she seemed to be in pain and struggling to breathe, and not when her hand clenched to hard around her shirt and directly over her chest. Panic and fear were running through him on ultrahigh, kicking into full gear and making his head whirl, his hold on her in his arms tense, and utterly rigid. And the fear and the panic did not ease, not even when his ears settled on the beating of her heart and it wasn't bad. It had picked up it's pace, but it wasn't pounding, it wasn't outside what would be considered a normal rhythm- it was beating fine, and he swallowed hard at it.

Frea relaxed after a few tense moments where he kept listening intently, her leaning into him lessening as she pulled herself up a little, sitting more back onto her heels and panting quite hard now. The pain faded away, slowly so, but enough she regained a little bit of her composure, and enough so he wasn't holding her up so much anymore. But even as she sat back his hands didn't let go, and she didn't really care, she swallowed hard, the action of it a bit more difficult than she liked with the harsh breaths, but she forced it anyway.

"... I... I'm sorry..." She managed after a bit and between the panting. Laxus' shoulders hunched a little at the sound of it, and she groaned a bit, before shaking her head and forcing another shaky breath. "... It's... It's not that..." She added quietly, and he frowned, jaw clenched and eyes flashing.

Laxus shifted suddenly, his arms moving up slowly as his hands found her face gently, and she blinked in surprise at the gesture and...?

His... Hands are... Shaking...?

Frea's eyes darted up quickly, searching- his expression nothing but rigid and tense as he leaned in, his forehead pressing against hers and seeming to had to try extremely hard to force himself to take in a low, slow breath.

"... Tell me." Laxus murmured quietly, "Tell me everything you want to, no matter what it is, and don't worry about it being too complicated, or being a burden or anything like that... I told you already, I'll take it all, everything. Nothing you tell me, or do, or might do... None of it will matter more than you... Tch... How many times do I have to tell you...?" He murmured lowly, his voice breaking off in a hiss. His hands holding her face shook a little more, and her eyes flashed.

She felt it spark against her- fear... Fear and an ache from him that went even deeper than the pain that had hit her heartbeats beforehand.

His voice dropped to something low and almost husky in a way, and he stiffened a little when his voice cracked at the end despite himself.

"... Damn it... I just care that you stay, Frea. Don't go dying on me again, twice has been more than enough... And everything that's gone on with all of this has been... More than enough..."

Frea faltered at the words, her eyes glittering and the tears in her eyes spilling anew to trail silently down her cheeks. Her breathing grew shaky with the sudden and immediate upsurge in tears, her body following suit as she leaned into his hold a little bit more- and this time she didn't fight the sobs rising in the back of her throat.

"... I'm so... So sorry..." She hissed, her left hand finding shaky hold of his shirt and silver eyes falling closed.

... f...fuck...

"... M-Mordren lived here... In Adgnei... with all the other Energy Mages... A... A really long time ago...a-and he... He... He wasn't a bad person... He was good... He could feel... He wasn't... Evil, o-or numb. He loved... He loved R-Reyan... She... She was an Energess, the last one... and she... She loved him, more than anything... And he... Loved her... B-but..."

Laxus blinked, his eyes opening as their foreheads pulled apart only slightly and Frea suddenly plunged straight into it with no pause, nor even any hesitation that should have been owed by her tears that persisted still even as she started.

"... Mordren... He... He forced open that Door... It was here, back then... J-just like it's still here now, and the Power in it... It corrupted him... t-turned him into something a-awful... It dragged him down into the A-Abyss and he... He slaughtered everyone in... In Adgnei... A...and... H...he... Tch... He..."

Her voice broke, painfully so as her hold on his shirt tightened, her hand shaking so, so badly.

"... He tried so hard n-not to Fall... He fought t-the whole time, and he was in so much pain... Resisting it was... Was torture... I felt a-all of it... It... It's awful... He didn't want to do a-any of it... He tried... tch... R-Reyan tried to bring him back... S-she thought he would come back from from the edge... She held out for so long, e-even when he was tearing her apart... And... And even... When he killed her, she... She still believed that he... would..."

Laxus grimaced slightly, his eyes flashing as she stopped for a few long moments and trying so hard to steady her breathing enough she could keep talking.

"... Mordren... He... He murdered the person he loved m-more than anything... No matter how hard he fought it, he still did it... He... He Fell... The Darkness consumed him... m-made him that thing he was... When... We... Tch..."

Her hand on his shirt got tighter, pulling on him slightly as she bent over a bit, his hands moving from her face and toward her shoulders. Her forehead pressed against his chest next, shaking her head a few times and breath hitching as she did so.

"... I... I lied..." She hissed, her voice dropping to something barely above a whisper now and he stiffened at it.

Lied..?

"... w-when I was fighting Tomaru, I lost because when I met Mordren in Hilshine, and he wounded me... a section of that Darkness... f-from the Tomb that made him Fall... it latched on to me, he used it to mess with me, to make me lose... and to control me, w-when we fought... I told Master, a-and Porlyusica that it went away after using All Magic... b-but..." Frea hissed lowly, and Laxus stiffened further, his mind slow to start unwinding all the information- but quickly beginning to catch up.

"... It's still there, and it... it's eating at me... at my Soul... slowly consuming as much of me as it can... it... it has a mind of it's own, it's c-constantly trying to take over, pull me down into Darkness... i-into the Abyss... t-to make me Fall... to... to turn me into... w-what Mordren became... to... to make me... a... a monster..."

He went rigid, his heart skipping a beat as his mind caught up all the way in an instant, and he felt a shiver run up his spine.

.:+:.

"..y-you don't get it... I was done! I wasn't supposed to... Not again...!" She hissed, ignoring his words or not hearing them.

He stared, his eyes widening as he watched the tears suddenly spill over, running down her cheeks and glinting in the dim. Drops fell like flecks of light onto the bed between them, her eyes glittering as she held his gaze, though the sheer pain that rose in those silver depths made his heart drop.

"I was ready to die...!"

He felt his heart skip a beat, the words cutting and cold as he simply stared, the breath catching in his throat, unable to fathom, unable to look away. Her eyes only held his a few moments longer, before they snapped shut, the tears still streaming as her breaths caught in her throat all the more.. She... She was...

"... She'll fight you. Get her to the surface, you'll save her- for now. After that... You're going to have to convince her, or she'll just end up back here again."

... She... She wanted to... She wasn't falling because she couldn't fight anymore... She...

In that instant Rified's words made all the sense in the world... And he felt his heart clench painfully in his chest.

... She gave up on living...?

He'd never imagined her... He could hardly fathom the idea that she of all people... Would just give up, on everything.

Her eyes fell away from him, her body still heaving and emotions still running wild as her head bowed, her fingers still tightly closed around his shirt and shaking badly, she leaned forward a bit, the top of her head bumping against his chest as the tears spilled between them still, the sheet staining darker under the moisture, a few of them splashing against her arms.

"... I wasn't supposed to come back, you god damn... Idiot... I was ready... To go... It was time... I... I had... To... I can't be here... Not if..." She hissed, her voice hitching between the breaths that shook her entire body in what was probably agony for her. Her voice dropped to something just shy of a whisper, trembling and fractured as she struggled to even voice her thoughts, but he heard it, she sounded so unbelievably scared. "... Not if I might... D...damn... I...it..."

"... This was... it had to be... the last... L..last time... I c...can't... n-not... Not any...m..more..."

Listening to her, she was in so much pain, she was... terrified, broken... It felt like his heart was breaking in tune as she fell apart right in front of him.

She'd... she'd wanted to die.

"... I can't... I can't become... him... I can't..."

.:+:.

He didn't breathe, he just stayed absolutely still, the memory rushing through his head- the realization of why, of what she meant- she... she meant this...?

She meant... literally become Mordren...?

"... T..tch... It... It's... Eating away at me, a-all the time... Eventually it'll... Tch... Damn it... I don't... I don't wanna turn into what Morden became, I... I can't... b-but it's like torture resisting it... I've been fine, I've been able to take it... So far... But..." She kept going, her voice growing more tense and pained by the second. "... It got so bad when they brought me up to the Door... T-the Darkness could feel it, sense it getting closer... It was pushing harder to take over entirely, to... To force my Magic t-to do what it wanted... To make me him... To make me Fall... To let the Magic in the Tomb out w-willingly, a-and let it destroy everything... Drive me to...to kill ev... everybody... W... With my...my b-bare hands..."

Her voice broke off in a sob, the tears spilling faster now, splashing into her lap and bouncing off her arm in between. She shook her head again, her bangs mussing up in the process as she hunched into him a little further. Laxus' hands fell some more, gliding passed her shoulders and finding her sides ever so gently, his lips pulling into a tight line and barely daring to breathe. He just listened, his head spinning and an awful sense of dread and foreboding falling over him with every second... Every second her being so terrified and torn apart after pulling her out of the Reach became more and more understandable.

"... I don't want to be that, and I tried s-so hard... I didn't... w-want t-to... B...but... I... I couldn't do it... It... It was t-too much... It... It hurt too much... To the point w-where I just wanted it to end, I wanted it to s-stop... Even if it meant... E-Even if I... I just... Wanted it to stop..." Frea sobbed, her voice barely above a whisper by the time she got to the end of that sentence, and he swallowed hard.

She sounded so broken, so...

"... It... It wants me to give in... Be numb, and let go, t-to feel nothing... Even if doing that means b-becoming something... T...terrible..." She kept on, her voice hitching so much the words barely strung together anymore. "... I... I'm... I'm so... So sorry... I... Just... I didn't want to feel t-the pain anymore... I wanted it t-to stop... I... Was... I was two seconds away f-from just letting go... I... F-fuck... I'm so sorry, I would have done it... I...if... I... I would have... L-let go, and then afterwards I wouldn't have been able to... To stop myself... I would have destroyed everything, k-killed everybody- and I wouldn't even feel it... I wouldn't feel anything... I... I'd just be... E..empty and... And cold..."

... so terrified...

"... Now it... The Corruption, it's bigger, and s-stronger after being there at the Door... A-and it's just gonna keep getting worse with the m-more time that passes... there's no way to get r-rid of it... f...fix it... N-not even Jynx can stop it, or t-take it out of me...and... I... I don't know if I can keep fighting it... I-If it ever gets that bad again I... I don't think I can... S-stop myself from Falling... F-from turning into... Something so awful... Into a monster... A-And If I do Fall... I... I'll be worse... Than Mordren e-ever was..."

... She sounded so much like she...

"... I don't w-want to turn into that, b-but... I don't know if I'm strong enough t-to keep from... Being dragged into t-the Abyss... I... I'm a mess... How the hell c-can I...? I'm... I'm falling apart, b-barely keeping anything t-together... I'm... I'm crumbling... P... Powerless... My... My head is all t-torn up, and I'm... I'm scared..."

... She sounded like she hated herself.

"... I am terrified t-that some day I am gonna turn into a m-monster... a-and there won't be anyway to stop it...I... I don't know if I can keep myself t-together... I... I can't... I'm a c-complete mess after everything...b-being here, all that h-happened here, a-and before now... I... It... Its just been s-so much...t-too much..." She hissed, her body jerking underneath his hands as the next sob shook her so deeply, and so badly, she nearly cringed for it.

"... H-how am I supposed to keep myself from F-Falling, when I can't even keep... Keep myself from falling a-apart..? How am I s-supposed to keep the Darkness from consuming me c-completely when... When everything I ever do, j-just ends up hurting everyone else...? O-or getting people killed... H-having so many... Die... B-because of me...? W-When so many t-terrible things happen because of me...? I... I just keep bringing more bad and hurt, into the world, and s-so much turmoil... And it just m-makes it worse... Everything I do j-just creates more bad for the Darkness to f-feed off of, and c-consume me f...further..." She stammered, "... All the awful things t-that are my fault... O-on top of all the other awful things... I... Its so much bad... H-how do I keep ahead o-of it all...? How am I supposed to l-live with so much, and not break u-under it...? Knowing so m-many people have... have already died because of me, and that there might b-be even more...? I... If I Fall, I will kill everyone... A-And I won't be able to stop... Y... You'll all die... Be...because of me... Just... Just like... All these people here that died, b-because I opened the Door and... And..." Her voice cracked painfully there, her body hitching along with the sob that hit her next, and harder than even that one a bit before it. The tears fell faster, unending now and with no way they would stop anytime soon.

"... A-And... Chaitanya..." Frea hissed, her voice hoarse and so full of agony and grief- biting and sharp, and all the more agonizing for saying that name now where for months she'd done everything not to even think about it.

Laxus blinked, his eyes narrowing to slits and instantly recognizing whose name that was... But did she mean...?

"... S-she stripped her life away f-for me... A-all these years of getting hurt, w-where I sh-should have died... S-so many times before... She... She k-kept me alive, e-even though it was killing her... a-and then with M-Mordren, on my Mountain, he... He killed me, a-and that was all she had left... She died, t-trying to keep m-me alive... She... Gave up her life for me f-for years, and then... Then it was more than she had a-and I... I got her killed..." Frea cried, her voice getting shakier and harsher by the second- her breathing too.

"... And Y... you... You almost g-got killed too... C-Coming into the Reach, g-giving up your... Your Chance f-for me... You could have died, j-just like Ch... Chaitanya did... Tr... Trying to... K... Keep... m-me alive..." She sobbed, her hold on his shirt getting tighter. "...y... You almost...d...died... Trying to... To pull me up... A-and here... You a-and the Guild... Everyone got so hurt, b-because I got... Dragged here, a-and I opened the Door... y-you guys could have gotten killed... Be... because of me... I... I can't have anymore people d-die because of m-me... I can't...b...but... E...eventually... S...shit..."

She pushed against him with her forehead a bit more firmly, her fangs gritting so hard they threatened to crack. She shook her head harshly, the tears in her eyes splattering every which way and glittering dimly in the light of the moon overhead.

"... E-eventually I might do something else that'll get everybody killed, o-or be the one t-that... M...murders everyone I care about, j-just like Mordren did w... with Reyan, a-and all of Adgnei... I... I won't b-be able to stop myself i-if...I... I don't want to e-ever become that, but I don't know if I... I... I don't know, I just... It's too much... And I c-can't get ahold of myself... I'm... I'm trying so hard to n-not be such a mess, b-but... After all of it I just... I don't know how... O-Or if I can... d-do it anymore..."

Laxus stiffened slightly at the words, his hands on her sides getting a little firmer without him meaning it to, and his heart twisted so painfully he almost cringed for it.

"... I d-don't know if I can... Keep going, and not get s-swallowed up b-by all of it... T-this Darkness eating me... O-or all the awful things t-that have happened, a-and keep happening... I-It never ends... I have lost s-so many people... I watched so m-many of them die... So many of them dead, b-because of me... So many people... Hurt... Hurting... Because of me, of what I did... Or... Or where I wasn't strong e-enough... or t-too helpless, a-and too weak to save them...o-or stop m-myself...f...from...d...damn it..." She hissed, "... What good is b-being the Malurey, o-or a Wizard Saint, a-an Energess, or... or any of it, when I can't even keep myself from f-falling apart...? What good was... Me b-being kept alive all this time, i-if in the end I can't keep myself... From Falling...? A-and destroying everything I've ever cared a-about...? I don't wanna be a monster, I don't wanna Fall... I... I d-don't wanna be a mess... I don't... W...wanna be scared... I don't w-want it to be so hard for me to... To be fine, o-or have to keep pretending... I don't want everything to c-crumble, I...tch..." She broke off again, the tears getting harder- if that were posssible.

"I... I want to stay... I wanna keep b-being in the Guild, a-and with everybody... I... I wanna keep everyone safe, b-but... I don't want to lose anybody either... and I don't think I can do b-both... I don't know i-if I can risk trying... I... I want to be okay, b-but I'm not... A-and I don't think I can ever be... O-okay... E...ever again..."

His heart twisted again and his went stomach with it, making him feel like he wanted to throw up- but he held his breath against the sensation.

"... I... I don't know w-what to do anymore... It's gotten t-too complicated, too insane, too... Too many secrets, too many memories, t-too many p-people and...a...and... Too many bad things, all p-piling up, endlessly... and c-crushing me... I... I thought I could take it, push on a-and live with it, but... but m-maybe this is my limit... M-Maybe there's too much awful f-for me to ever s-stay who I've... b-been trying so hard to b-be... F-For so long... Maybe I... I can't do it... m-maybe you were wrong, w-when you said it... t-that I'd be fine, that I'd be o-okay... That I'd be able to... to put myself back t-together again... M-maybe if you were wrong about all of t-that... then maybe y-you were wrong a-about that too... T-That I wouldn't... maybe y-you were wrong and I... I might b-be Mordren... B... Become... Something like him... W...worse than him... I... I..." She broke off for half a second, sucking in a sharp breath of air, her hand gripping to his shirt shaking so badly now it was a miracle she hadn't lost hold. "... L... Laxus... I really, really don't want you t-to be wrong... I... I really wanna be w-what you said... That... That I'll be fine, t-that I won't Fall... That I'm... All... All of it... B-but... shit... You...you didn't even know h-how bad it was, or what I meant, o-or how torn apart I am, h-how real that Darkness is i-inside me, h-how strong it is... H-How much it hurts to resist it... A-And now it just... There's so much bad in me, t-that's haunting me, that it can f-feed off of... So...so n-now that you know about it... H-how could you possibly still think, o-or believe that I won't b-be him...? O-or that... I... I'll be f-fine...?" She cried hoarsely, "... You said all of it n-not knowing the whole thing, so how can w-what you said b-be true... If... If you didn't know...? N-No amount of w-wanting you to be r-right... Ch...changes the fact... That... You... You d-didn't know when you said all of it, and... and now I..." She hissed, swallowing harder and shaking her head stiffly.

"... I'm so sorry, b-but... How could y-you be right...?"

Laxus moved at last, breaking the stony silence and rigidness his figure had adopted while she only crumbled further and further with each terrified, agonized line. His hands came up off her sides and he pulled her into him, his arms wrapping around her body and enveloping her nearly entirely in a firm, yet so incredibly gentle embrace that was so unusual for the usually stern, and gruff Lightning Dragon Slayer. He held her tightly, his nose pressing into the top of her head and burying his face in her hair, eyes shut tight, and Frea's shaking form almost trapped in the hold- and with no intent on Laxus' end to let her go anytime soon. She stiffened in shock at the sudden hug, her sobbing hitching and breaking for a second or two as her mind derailed.

W...what is he...?

"... I am not wrong." He grumbled lowly, steadily, unflinchingly, and softly all at once. "Everything I said to you that night, and every time after it- I meant it, and I am not wrong about anything I said. You will not Fall, you will get through all of this, and you will be fine, just like you always have. Even after all these years and all the shit you've been through, you have never stopped being you- that is not gonna change, not even even after all of this, I know it won't. You are the one person who is strong enough to take all of it and get through it... It ain't fair, you don't deserve a damn thing that's happened to you- but you can take it. You are the strongest person I have ever met, I know you will be fine, and you won't ever be what Mordren was. Not even with the Magic from the Tomb eating at you, or all the bad shit that's happened, or anything else combined- there is nobody I know who is more good than you, that's never gonna change." He grumbled lowly, his hold around her tightened just a bit further.

"...Tch, you got dragged right up to that damn Door where that Magic you say is corrupting you comes from, right? It was right there, trying everything to get you to give in, and let it take over- all while your Magic was getting stripped from you, right?" He said lowly, "You were right there where it's strongest, and where it has the most pull over you, and you didn't Fall- no matter how hard it was, or how much it hurt. You might have wanted to, even for a little, but you pulled yourself back and you didn't give in. You didn't Fall, even when you were in the one place where it had the most power and influence over you. You didn't give in, you're still you after all of that- even when you got tossed in front of the same thing that turned Mordren into what he was, you didn't break under it. You did not Fall." Laxus growled lowly, "You kept yourself from getting consumed by it even when it was right in front of you. If you can do that, then you can sure as hell keep from getting consumed from here on out. If you can keep yourself from Falling while being forced right into it, then there's no question. You won't Fall."

She stiffened a little bit more in his hold, her breathing still stalled and her crying too for the moment as she just listened, completely fixed.

"But it didn't matter if I knew about any of this before now, or even now that you've proven you could keep it at bay up in that Tower- I didn't need proof, and I didn't need to know about any of this to be absolutely sure." He kept on, his voice dropping a tad and losing the little edge it had gained while talking about what happened at the Door. It softened, calm and level, and so utterly certain in what he was saying.

"Nothing will ever change my mind- not hearing or learning any of this, or what's happened. Nothing will ever convince me that what I said was wrong. Nothing will ever make me change my mind about you, ever." He said firmly and Frea sucked in a shaky breath of air.

There was no uncertainty in him when he said it, no amount of wavering, no spark of emotion that would make it a lie, or make it so she knew he doubted his own words- nothing.

He... He meant it, with everything he had, and she knew felt it, clear as day.

B...but how...?

... H... How can he be so sure...? E... Even... After...?

She didn't know how. She couldn't fathom how he was so utterly sure about it, impossibly so- still certain and with... With so much faith in her, where she had none in herself- even after hearing all of it. Everything about him was just... there was nothing but unwavering certainty.

She let out a shaky breath of air, the tears spilling anew at having stalled for a bit there, and she just cried.

She never managed to get through any of the rest of it, she didn't get through the years of memories after Mordren and all the way up to her own life- or anything in relation to it, and she had intended to... But she couldn't get the words out now for the sobs that shook her, and wouldn't let up.

She cried a hundred times more than even that night after he'd pulled her out of the Reach, and when he'd brought her back to Fairy Hills combined. Years of pain, and hurt, and fear, and grief that she'd kept bottled up where she dared not touch it- turmoil that had only grown sharper, heavier, and more wild now, and began spilling out without hesitation... A lifetime worth of tears breaking free all at once.

Laxus said near to none after that, he just let her cry. He didn't pull away, or let her go the entire time, and he didn't need to say anything else, not just then. Any amount of assurances or little murmurs that she'd be fine would just be superfluous- she just needed to ride it out, let it out, and let it pass.

A few times Frea muttered out apologies, hushed gasps of 'I'm sorry' and 'forgive me' that were barely more words than they were raggedy breaths. He shook his head slightly with each one, holding her a little tighter for a few seconds and hating she felt the need to say such things at all.

Eventually she cried all she could before she exhausted herself too much to keep going. The tears stilled, but the sobs continued to make her breathing hitch every minute or two, quietly, weakly so as her body jerked a bit with them- not that she could help it, or had the mind to. The weight of her in his grasp had been growing steadily heavier in accordance with the crying slowing up, all of it sapping her strength until there was none left at all, and it sent her focus and attention quickly toward some dark place so very far from wakefulness. She'd been low on energy to start with, after everything she'd endured, but now with finally breaking down, and so completely- it was all she had left, and she couldn't stave off sleep even if she wanted to.

He knew she was gonna end up crying until she passed out long before she'd started to teeter toward it, and he didn't hesitate to keep her steady when the last of her attempts to hold herself up disappeared. He adjusted his arms and hands as gently as he could manage, destroying the hug he'd kept around her for so long and replacing it with something a little different- still keeping her close as he picked her up bridal style and slowly (and rather stiffly) pushed himself up onto his feet. She didn't stir as he did it, outside of a small wince of pain interrupting her low and still slightly harsh breaths when moving agitated her broken shoulder a bit, but even the little show of pain was fleeting.

Laxus sighed heavily, aqua blue eyes glittering in the dim and pausing for a second to just stand there, his head bowing a bit as he pressed his nose into the top of her head. He shut his eyes as he did so, the familiar sweet and mountain-like scent heavily laden with the salty tang of tears, and he swallowed for it.

All of that... All she said... So much bad, and terrible... And painful... How had she managed to keep it all locked up inside of herself for this long...?

Months now, longer even... Without saying a word...? All the awful things she'd never talked about, in all her life probably... How could she take it tearing her apart from the inside out, for that long...?

How could she have done that, and have managed to seem... Almost fine, all up until now...?

He wasn't sure he'd ever understand the 'how', and to be fairly honest... He wasn't really sure he understood all of what she'd said just now either. It was a lot. A lot of information, and shock, and awful implications, and so very complicated too- she'd said it was complicated before starting, but he supposed... He never could have imagined what she was going to tell him, or even start to.

How could it have gotten this bad...? And he never realized how deep the bad actually went...? He'd known there were terrible things lurking at her heels long before now, things that haunted her, and that she ignored- like Kasumi, or what had happened in Death Bolt- but that almost seemed to pale in comparison now to everything she'd said tonight... No, not said. Cried... Cried and sobbed, and more than he'd ever seen from her, or thought he would... And far more than he wanted to see from her, ever.

All of this was just... So much.

Too much

He forced himself a sigh at the thought, his breath stirring strands of her hair faintly, and his shoulders hunching a tiny bit.

"... I'm sorry Frea..."

He did not go back inside the Palace, for awhile he didn't even move, but when at last he did he made his way slowly off to the right of the little courtyard they were in, and closer toward some place he'd picked up on earlier in all his back and forth from sleep, to checking on things, and without end. It might have been wiser to bring her back to everyone else, but he doubted she'd want to be taken back so soon after all of this, even if she was asleep now... She'd need time to settle again, and preferably without everyone else hovering.

There was a little structure built in to the gardens, vines and flowers and tree roots curled tightly around a little pergola that sheltered a set of wide stone slabs that served as benches covered in cushions, sheets, and pillows of all shapes and sizes. They weren't exactly beds, and they smelled heavily of rain and plants, but it would work well enough- and he wasn't about to complain.

It was quiet here, isolated, peaceful even- and a bit of peace and quiet, and time to settle and rest was sorely needed... on both their ends.

He settled down, easing Frea from his hold and into the cushions, the Energy Dragon Slayer never stirring even a little as he did it- or at least, he didn't think so.

The minute he pulled away with the intent to take a seat down on a stack of pillows littering the floor, he got stopped- something tugged on the bottom of his shirt and he faltered. He glanced down quickly, his eyes flashing in the dim to see Frea had moved her left hand up and caught him before he could get too far. Her grip on the fabric was faint and shaking badly for the effort of keeping hold at all- so much so, her hand fell slightly soon after. Her grip on his shirt failed and in doing so, it was about to earn her hand hitting the bench at the behest of gravity, but he didn't let it. Instinct and blind reaction had him quickly moving to catch her hand before it fell all the way, and he swallowed hard for the way his core knotted all the further at what near dead weight it felt in his hold.

She wasn't awake, not really. Her eyes did not open when she did it, nor when it fell- it was almost like she'd reached out on instinct alone, her mind teetering out of the sleep exhaustion had driven her toward only enough she moved to catch him, but that was all she could manage at all.

She was exhausted, strained, hurt, and pulled every which way- she was terrified, and with so much turmoil that had been locked up in her. All of which that had now come spilling out in such a terrible, heartbreaking way... It was all so raw, even if she'd passed out, that much hurt did not just go away with sleep. So of course she'd grab him like that, even being as exhausted as she was- she couldn't help it. She was too strung out, too shaky, too fragile right now and more so than he'd ever seen her, so he understood it perfectly... But even knowing that made his core ache all the more, and he grimaced for it.

He set her hand down gently, his own hand remaining on top of hers as he took a heavy seat on the edge of the bench beside her, this time not bothering to move, or even daring to. There was a plenty of room for him to sit there with how wide it was, and clearly it would be better for right now if he didn't go anywhere at all... Even if he'd never intended to move to somewhere that wasn't close at hand in the first place, he was fine to just sit there for awhile.

He went quiet, his body motionless and unmoving- but his mind was not so still.

He recanted it all about a hundred times over, every word, every detail- every sob and every new, impossible, terrible thing... He knew what she said had to be the truth, even if he couldn't wrap his head around some of the more confusing things, or the ones with a few details missing- but really?

Most of what she said wasn't missing anything, even though she'd probably given him the simplest, most rushed version of it all. But she explained it well enough there wasn't any huge gaps... In fact it filled in quite a few gaps he'd resigned himself to never getting filled at all.

He'd known before now what she'd said about having to relive Mordren's Memories, and that she'd been wound up about becoming anything like him... But the details of that, with whoever the hell 'Reyan' was and what had happened with her, and the Energy God Slayer who had done so much damage... And the Door, to which both he and Frea had fallen prey to...?

He didn't understand it all the way, no. But he knew it was the truth, and that was all that mattered. She was telling the truth, everything she said was real and the implications were too... He just wished none of it had happened.

He let out a heavy sigh at the thought, his posture wilting enough he was bent over, his elbow landing on his knee and head hanging as he leaned his cheek against his hand. His other hand still settled on top of Frea's tightened a little, his teeth gritting slightly as he forced another low breath and his eyes dropped closed.

All of this wasn't fair, on anyone, but her especially. All of it, what happened, what he learned, what she was living with- all of it was just... Just...

... Awful

"... Shit... I'm never gonna be able to let you out of my sight again..."

.:+:.

She felt a constant, steady throbbing born of an ache of pain hounding the edges of her senses for what felt like a millennia... It remained there, sparking against her from some place at the farthest reaches of a massive, pitch black oblivion she was floating in. It did not go away, it kept on, slowly getting heavier and more prominent on her mind, tugging her almost, and pulling her gently backwards from the dark and toward some place else.

Some place else, where that constant throb and ache sparking against her body got all the worse, and her own ache over her entire body sharpened too. But she gave the heaviness in her own body absolutely no mind, the minute her head pulled away from the dark enough to make further sense of everything- all she cared about was what that ache and throbbing was.

Ache so deep it bordered actual pain, discomfort even, paired with a heavy sense of exhaustion that rivaled her own. And the person those flashes of emotion and feeling belonged to... Was...

She knew instantly who it was, she didn't even need to think about it. She felt the easily recognizable Energy Signature close by, smelled the familiar scent all around her, and felt a warmth of his body near, though not touching.

Frea swallowed, her throat rough and dry, and her head pounding with an awful headache- but again, she didn't care.

She cracked her eyes open slowly, narrowed to slits for a few seconds against the dim glow the world afforded her upon opening them- the glare wasn't bad, but it was enough she had to blink a few times for her eyes to adjust, and stop stinging so much too. When they did she saw slots of wood latticework above her crawling with plants, and then behind it a sky that was grey... Not quite dawn yet, but soon to be getting there.

... Have I been... Out the whole night...? After...?

She swallowed again, her eyes flashing as she forced a small breath.

They were still in the the Palace Gardens, clearly from the lack of noise and abundance of earthy, plant and flowery scents hanging on the air- though she was a little surprised she'd not been brought back to the Throne Room... Well, maybe not so surprised. And honestly... She was kind of glad he'd let them stay here awhile.

Speaking of him though-

Frea's silver eyes trailed left, her expression pulling as her gaze settled on Laxus, his back mostly facing her as he sat slightly sideways on the edge of the bench she was laying on. He was bent over, his elbows on his knees and fingers linked together with his head bent, and forehead resting against the back of his hands. He was quiet, unmoving, and slightly rigid in his place- naturally so, for the amount of ache and discomfort throbbing off him in waves. He was hurting just sitting like that stiffly as he was, and would have been hurting more if he moved, so he didn't... But staying still wasn't doing him any favors either.

Frea grimaced at it, her silver eyes flashing as her gaze quickly traced over his back and the bandages poking passed his shirt- the image of how awful his wounds had been when he'd showed up in the Throne Room flared to life, and her stomach twisted. She swallowed back at it, before forcing herself a weary sigh.

Her left hand moved up, her fingers brushing faintly against the back of his arm and immediately making him stiffen in surprise at the unexpected contact. His head lift up off his hands and turned to look her way, and her expression fell a bit more for how exhausted he looked, and she bit the inside of her cheek at it.

... don't tell me he's been sitting there the whole time...?

... With how sore I can feel he is... He probably has... Damn it...

"... Frea..." Laxus mumbled reflexively, and she swallowed a bit.

"... please lay down." She mumbled quietly, her voice a little hoarse and uneven, and the words earning a sort of confused look from him for a minute, but she hardly noticed it. Her eyes left him, her hand falling onto the bench and shifting as she pushed herself further to the right, and with a little difficulty. Her body hated her for the effort of it, but she managed to push herself enough to leave plenty of room for him.

She puffed slightly when she was done, grumbling a bit under her breath for the way her body ached for the little bit of movement- but she ignored it and patted the cushion wearily, but rather pointedly still, her eyes moving to meet his again.

"... I can feel how much your back is bothering you, sitting like that... So please... Just lay down and... Stop brooding... Okay...?" She mumbled quietly, her expression pulling slightly and silver eyes gleaming in the dim. "... I know I gave you a lot to... Brood over, but... You're tired, so just... Stop for now, okay...?" She mumbled even more quietly, and he hesitated half a second more, frowning slightly at her pointing out how he was feeling... Not that she was wrong, but he'd not dared move a muscle for awhile now since he'd been thinking so much- or brooding, as she put it.

His mind felt fried at this point, heavy and whirling and filled with so much now- he needed to quit, and he needed to sleep too- he knew all that... But convincing himself to unwind and cease with the thoughts was harder than it should have been. And it remained hard still, even with her suggesting it- hence the hesitation.

Plus, moving at all was an unpleasant thought too, he was stiff, and even a little bit of movement on his part was sure to not be any fun.

Frea grimaced slightly at the fact he had yet to make any move, her eyes flashing as she seemed to force a little breath, and she shook her head a little while shooting him a low, somewhat pointed look.

"... Do it." She murmured, more firmly this time around and he blinked in surprise at was borderline an order. A small fraction of sternness and even stubbornness worked it's way into her voice just then, and only faintly so- but it was leagues different from how pained, terrified, and broken she'd sounded when she'd been sobbing and recanting all those many things he'd learned that night. For just a second she wasn't as fractured or as fragile as she was, she bucked up a little, pulled together a bit- rearranged one or two of those pieces that had shattered in her being with all of what had happened, and she gave him an order.

It was a little bit of the Frea he'd known for so long now, and so well... A bit of her still there, even around all the bad.

He let out a soft sigh at it, his heart twisting and his stomach fluttering all at once. His eyes dropped closed for a moment, his posture wilting slightly and Frea didn't know why- but there was a small spark of what almost seemed like relief from him, just for half a second. But it was gone so fast she had no idea if that's really what it was, or even why it might have been that at all.

"... Hmph... Fine." He rumbled lowly, his eyes breaking from her entirely as he shifted, and Frea drew her hand back to herself.

Laxus' jaw clenched the minute he started to move, and the throbbing and prick of pain from him sharpened to a fine point right away too. Frea bit the inside of her cheek against it, watching tensely and without really daring to breathe as he moved, grumbling to himself and growling under his breath as he slowly lowered himself into lying on his stomach. It was slow going, his movements careful and jerking slightly here and there- painful clearly, though the only outward indication of it he gave was in low, rumbling growls he did his best to stifle. And he kept doing that, until eventually he was down all the way, his arms crossing on top of the stack of pillows littered about between them, and he ended his adjusting by burying his chin into them. For a few minutes he didn't say anything, and he didn't really breathe either- he stayed still, his eyes closed and waiting for the throb and pain from moving to subside, and his body to relax as much as it could too- and Frea let him settle, her eyes glinting the whole while.

She frowned, her eyes leaving him and adjusting herself to lay flat on her back again after having stayed a little rolled over to better address him. Her injured shoulder sank gratefully back against the cushions, her left arm falling across her stomach and glaring slightly at the vine-ridden rafters overhead. She heard Laxus let out a long, deep breath after another moment or so, the throbbing fading enough his body lost the tension it had adopted for so long. But even as she heard the sigh she didn't look his way again, her eyes dropped closed and her fingers dug slightly into the fabric of the sling.

"... I'm sorry..." She mumbled at length, earning Laxus' attention immediately as the blonde cracked his left eye open to shoot her a sideways glance- but her eyes were closed still, so she never saw it.

"... Everything I said, it was a lot, and a lot of bad... I'm... I'm sorry for dumping it on you all at once... And for me... Reacting so badly, to saying any of it..." Frea murmured softly, her voice tense and quickly growing more uneasy. "... I didn't mean to be such a mess, or to crumble like that... Or... Freak you out, with any of it... Especially not... When you and everybody else already got so hurt, and have been so wound up about everything that happened here... I'm sorry for... making it worse... I know it's really... A... A lot..." She hissed, her voice breaking slightly at the end and her expression twisting, while her fingers around the sling tightened so much her hand was shaking. Laxus' eyes narrowed at it, his shoulders sinking at the words and how quickly she was getting worked up all over again. And worked up over worries and guilt-fueled things he'd already assured her were not an issue-

"... I'm sorry for dumping all of it on you... And worrying you... And you getting hurt... I'm sorry for all of it. Especially now that you knowing all of that is just gonna make you more uneasy, and make things... Harder from now on... But... But..." She went on, sniffing slightly now as her voice hitched a little and threatened to send her into a sob, but she bit back at it. "... Please forgive me for all it... And keeping it all to myself the whole time... I know you don't like me hiding so much shit... and... And I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... B-because even with everything I already dumped on you, and how much of it there was... I'm sorry... Because... There is more... I haven't... Gotten to yet..." She hissed, and his eyes widened slightly, his core churning for it- there was more?

How could there be more...? How much more awful could there possibly be? More bad that she'd had to live through, and hold on to? How much more bad could she have- tch...

His teeth grit, his eyes flashing and anger flaring in his center- hatred even, and it was anger and hatred toward the world, the universe, fate, whatever.

There shouldn't have been more- she didn't deserve to still have more haunting her, not more of a like that had her on the edge of tears again.

"... I... I know you said... I could... Tell you what... I wanted to... B...but..." She kept on, her voice hitching again despite herself, and he grit hit teeth for a moment.

"... Oi, look at me for a minute."

She jumped slightly, her eyes snapping open and her words breaking off at the soft order, and the light few taps of his hand against her shoulder all of a sudden. She turned her head toward him, silver eyes gleaming and glassy as they met his aqua blue ones, and he let out a weary sigh. He'd pushed himself up a bit more on to his elbows now without her noticing, and he stayed there as he shook his head at her- the hand he'd used to tap her shoulder drawing back toward himself for a moment.

"I meant what I said, alright? Don't worry about it being too much, or making things harder, or anything like that- whatever you have to say, I will take it. You're not 'dumping' anything on me, or telling me anything I ain't willing to hear, or know... Nothing you've said so far has been anything I'd rather not know, over actually knowing, alright? And nothing else you can tell me from here on out is gonna be any different." He murmured, and she seemed to stiffen a little, her eyes flashing and her breath hitching slightly again. "Quit worrying that you saying anything is gonna be worse on me for whatever reason, it won't. I'll take it all, no matter what, got it..?" He murmured softly, and Frea stiffened a little more, her eyes gleaming at just how calm and steady he was... he said it all without hesitation, and just like when he'd told her she wouldn't Fall- he meant it, with every ounce of his being, and she couldn't imagine how he could mean it at all... But... But...

She nodded stiffly in return, her eyes glittering a little more and small tears pecking at the corners of her eyes despite herself.

... Even if she didn't know how... She... She trusted that he really meant it, even with all her own doubts and fears. She trusted him, and so much more than she trusted anybody- or even ever thought she could trust him... That same person she had once- and what felt like a lifetime ago- been unable to be in the same room with, let alone hold a conversation.

Things were drastically different now than all that time ago when they were so young, and everything had changed in too many ways to count... And not all of them good changes... But this...?

Laxus let out a breath when she nodded, small as the gesture was. He nodded a little back, his face falling and looking weary now for the little tears threatening to spill again. He knew well by now he'd probably have to repeat himself a dozen times over before she stopped worrying about it all the way, which was tiresome... But he'd do it as many times as she needed regardless.

"... Good." He mumbled, his eyes falling closed with a heavy sigh.

He shifted closer to her next, and without warning- his left arm moving to wrap around her neck and put her head in the crook of his elbow. He was careful not to bump her injured shoulder as he did it, and he settled in like that, holding her lightly and setting his cheek down on the pillows with another small breath. Both of their faces were no more than a few inches apart now, the closing of the distance had their sides brushing against one another, and Frea went rigid in shock and surprise at the sudden closeness and contact. Her face heated up, a blush dancing across her cheeks without warning and silver eyes gleaming, while her heart skipped a beat.

This... isn't... all that normal, really...?

... What is he...?

"... You can tell me everything else when you're ready to, Frea. But for now, just give it a rest- you're gonna work yourself up too much, so just quit... go to sleep..." Laxus kept on softly and not at all bothered with the sudden closeness. His breath washed against her face warm and wispy, which did nothing to help with the blushing, and she swallowed slightly, her eyes flashing as Laxus let out a long, deep sigh... and then nothing else.

He was exhausted, she'd already known that- but not a minute after saying those few words, did his breathing slow down to a pace that told her he'd drifted off entirely, or was starting to, and she felt her stomach knot a bit.

... He was tired... But tired enough to fall asleep that fast...?

She grimaced slightly, her eyes darting away from his face half-buried in the pillow, and she bit the inside of her cheek.

Laxus was all wound up and just as knotted as her stomach felt, she could tell. There was no end to the unease and tension coming off him, not even as he started to drift... He was a lot more worked up about it than he would ever admit out loud, or let her know- regardless of what he said about not worrying over how all of it affected him. There was no way not to be affected, but he still assured her he'd listen, that he'd...... Take it all... No matter what...

Her eyes glinted at the thought, falling halfway as she moved her left hand up slowly, her fingers curling lightly around his arm over her shoulders, and staying there. She took in a deep breath, her body relaxing out of the slightly stiff posture she'd adopted in her surprise at the gesture to start, and then she sank a little further into the hold as his scent washed over her, familiar, slightly sweet, and prickling on her nose.

Her eyes dropped closed a little more, a small breathe escaping her- the warmth from the Lightning Dragon Slayer's arm, body, and breath washing against her bringing with it a heavy sense of exhaustion, and one that was just as heavy as the tiredness that had taken over him.

... Things were drastically different now than all that time ago, in so many ways- and now forever different after all of that had happened, here in this country, in that Tower, and all that came after it... but this...

... This is... A nice different... A nice change...

... I don't know when... This got to... This point... But...

... I don't know... What would happen if... Things between us... Hadn't... Gotten to be... Like this...

Her eyes dropped all the way at last, her nose nuzzling slightly into the crook of his elbow as her left hand moved up further in order to hold on to his arm a bit more.

"... Thank you... For everything... Laxus..."

.:+:.

Later-

Warm morning light filtered in through the glass ceiling, strong and bright from the sun almost directly overhead already- it's rays through the multicolor glass glittering off the many pools of water dotted about the Throne Room.

Talarr faltered at the stairs leading up to the King's (former) Quarters, green eyes glittering and expression falling as he faced the small group of Fairy Tailers sitting there, quiet, watchful, and waiting... And waiting for who had him instantly a little uneasy, his hands wringing together uncertainly for what Moon told him just then.

"... T-the Energess... Is... Not here...?" Talarr mumbled quickly, and the Exceed shook her head.

"No, she woke up late last night and said she needed some air. She went off with a little girl, one of the Barren... But she hasn't come back yet." Moon explained quietly,

"A-are you not concerned about where she is...? It's already almost noon..." Talarr mumbled quickly, and Moon, as well as Mira and Erza sitting beside her all smiled faintly for a moment, and almost sadly too.

"No, we know where she is." Moon murmured,

"And she's perfectly alright." Erza added in softly, Mira nodding to it as her blue eyes glittered, especially for what confused look Talarr had with the responses.

"... She's with Laxus." Mira explained softly, Talarr stiffening slightly at the name and by just sheer reaction- understandably so, given Laxus had been fairly gruff toward Talarr the last few days... And he was the man who'd decimated a Vaide such as Nirav- Laxus was intimidating, to say the least... But the news of the Energess being with said intimidating man was not so much a surprise for Talarr, not really. It surprised him only a little, and his expression got washed over with understanding quite quickly.

... oh...

"We found them both asleep in the Gardens, and we figured it was best not to wake them up." Mirajane told the Ilaen lightly, "They are both probably exhausted still after everything, and they seemed comfortable where they were, so we let them be."

"Yes, and I'm sure they'll make their way back when they're ready to. In the meantime though we'll leave them alone." Erza hummed, a small breath almost like a chuckle escaping the redhead for a moment. "... The Thunder Legion has been checking in every once in awhile, just in case, and steering everyone away from the area so they can have some peace and quiet for as long as possible... Because of that, I wouldn't be surprised it it's passed noon by the time they get up again. Both Frea and Laxus can sleep for quite awhile, given the chance." Erza pointed out, Moon humming a bit to it herself with Mira looking pleasantly amused with the thoughts.

Talarr blinked, his hands ceasing with their fidgeting slowly as his eyes dropped from the women and he nodded slightly.

"... I see..."

.:+:.

... This scent... it's everywhere... It's almost like...

... it smells... like a mountain trapped in the middle... of a storm...

She pressed a little, trying to bring it closer, drink it in... It smelled good, and soothing almost... familiar, and warm, and... Peaceful. So much so she found herself lost in it, and something tugged in her chest... something deep down that was stirring where it never had before- something new, and unfamiliar.

She moved in closer still, burying her face in it, and taking in a long, deep breath... Some small part of her wanted to go further, her mouth watering slightly for the smell and the sweet-tinge buried in it- but a sharp stab of pain rushing through her had any attempts of moving closer, or whatever else, halting.

She stiffened, the sort of intoxicating sensation of the scent dancing over her senses losing it's might as she grit her teeth against the stab of pain rushing through her shoulder. She'd moved it without being all that aware, or conscious of doing so, but the fractured bone reminded her quickly of what a mistake that was.

A small hiss escaped her, her small movements closer to the warmth and the smell retracting slightly as she scrunched her eyes closed tight against it.

... d...damn it...

"... You okay...?"

Frea faltered, some of her attention on the pain diverted by the quiet, somewhat groggy sounding question, and her eyes cracked open halfway to glance in the direction it came from.

Her eyes matched with Laxus' single one he'd opened, peering down at her quietly and instantly jerked from sleep the minute she tensed up in his hold. He still had his arm wrapped around her neck and head, though they were closer than they had been when she fell asleep... I moved closer, it was him I was... smelling... right...

But even then that thought was fleeting, she ended up freezing for a moment as just how quickly he reacted to the little show of pain. He sounded half asleep still, so how could he wake up that fast...? Over something so small...?

And there was a little prickle of panic and tension that sparked off him right away too- slight, but still there- and she swallowed a little at it, her eyes gleaming.

"... I'm... fine..." She mumbled slowly, her voice rough and cracking a little, which forced her to pause and swallow hard. She grumbled a bit at the scratchiness in her throat, and her eyes flashed at the somewhat searching look she earned from Laxus still, shaking her head slightly at it. "I just moved my shoulder without thinking, it's not that bad... You don't need to... Get all worked up about it..." She told him lowly, and he seemed to grumble a bit under his breath at the 'worked up' comment. Because of course she felt the little bit of panic that had jolted him from sleep.

He hated any amount of panic or unease that flared, least of all so quickly, and that it so easily snapped him from what had previously been a very deep sleep... but hell, he couldn't help himself damn it.

Frea's eyes narrowed slightly at him at the small but of grumbling, his eye falling closed again as he seemed to shake his head at himself.

"... Are you... Okay...?" She asked slowly, and Laxus huffed slightly at the question, which did nothing but make her stomach churn.

"I'm fine." He grumbled softly, but she frowned at the answer, which he seemed aware of her doing though he never actually saw it. "... Seriously, I told you to stop worrying about it." He sighed, and she grit her teeth at the response- but e didn't give her a chance to press it further, not before he adjusted. Laxus pushed himself back, releasing her from his grip and sighing heavily as he shifted, moving stiffly and soreness sparking off him anew as he settled into sitting up. He grumbled as he got all the way upright, rolling his shoulders slightly with a series of pops and cracks following the movement, not that he paid it much mind.

He paused a moment and cast a quick glance around the garden and the clear blue sky stretching out on all sides- it looked passed noon, if he had to guess. And then his trailing eyes landed curiously on a pitcher full of water accompanied by two empty glasses, that were sitting neatly on a flat portion of all the pillows and blankets and such scattered on the ground.

... Where did that come from...?

His attention turned to his right the minute Frea moved though, the question dying on his mind as the Energy Dragon Slayer pushed herself into sitting up too- though with much more difficulty than he did, given she had only the one hand. She grumbled to herself, stifling a wince as she rolled over a bit to give herself some traction with her free hand, and he sighed (and winced a little himself) for how clearly painful it was on her, and she accidentally shifted her broken shoulder again.

"Oi, slow down a little." Laxus grumbled, reaching out to steady her a bit and she huffed at it, but said nothing else. He more or less forced her to slow up, while simultaneously giving her a bit of a boost so she didn't have to put so much effort into sitting up straight herself, and she let it be (grudgingly). He paused with his hands holding on to her shoulder and arm for a few heartbeats even once she was up all the way, Frea grumbling a bit under her breath for a moment or two, before she adjusted all the way, and he pulled his hands back. She shifted slowly, turning to face him a bit more directly and pulling her legs up underneath her so she was sitting on her heels. She didn't look up at him the whole time she did, and when finally she paused again she bit the inside of her cheek, looking pensive and uneasy as she shot him a small little glance.

"... Please don't do that." Frea mumbled softly and at length, and he blinked, his eyes narrowing in confusion and surprise.

"Do what? Help you up?" He grumbled flatly, but she shook her head.

"No not that." She sighed, her eyes falling into her lap and her left hand curling under her right arm, hugging herself almost as her eyes flashed. "... Please don't say everything is fine, when it isn't. Don't just... Brush it off. I know everything I said was a lot, and I can tell you're worked up, and uneasy... Please don't try and act like it doesn't bother you, okay...? I can feel how tense you are... Laxus..." She mumbled lowly and he clenched his jaw a little, and she seemed somehow aware of it, though she wasn't looking at him and she hunched a little. "... I'm sorry, I know you said you're willing to know about it all, and I... I know you mean that... I just... I don't want you to say it's fine, and that you're fine with it- when you're not... Please don't try and tell me you're not worked up, and... and even scared... with all of this, when you are... I... I can feel it, so please don't try to say otherwise... I know you meant what you said, just... please... don't pretend... it doesn't... a... affect you... please..." She hissed, her voice quavering now, and badly so. Laxus' stomach knotted tightly at it, aqua blue eyes flashing as he watched her hunch in a bit more on herself, and he swallowed, hard.

Of course she could tell, damn it. He had no real hope she wouldn't be able to feel any amount of his unease, his tension, panic... or even the fear. He wished he could have avoided her knowing, and he even sort of wished that things were more normal, and that she couldn't actually feel emotions- but she could, there was no changing that. And for it, there was no ignoring the issue like he wished he could, because he just... he didn't want to touch it.

But she knew something was wrong, and she immediately assumed it was everything she had said last night that had hit him so hard. And to be fair- all she'd said, and he'd now learned did hit him, deeply... But he knew very well what amount of him being scared and panicked just then, that she had picked up on, had nothing to do with all of that. None of the new information, or the realizations helped, surely- but the main issue was something unrelated... and an issue he had been struggling with in silence for days now. And like he said, he didn't want to touch it.

Frea hissed, her body shaking faintly as she hunched in on herself a little further, her arm hugging to the other just a little tighter, and Laxus' face fell, his heart twisting painfully and he held his breath for it.

He didn't want to touch it, but he didn't have a choice. If he didn't say it, she was just gonna keep thinking it was her telling him things that had him wound up. And then she'd be afraid of doing it anymore, lest it do more harm than good- and he didn't want that. She needed someone to tell everything too, she'd said that, and he was deadset to be that person no matter what... but hell if actually saying what was eating him out loud was gonna be easy.

Laxus sucked in a big breath of air, grumbling slightly to himself and absolutely hating the immediate way in which his whole body went utterly stiff at just the idea of saying it at all, damn it.

"... Frea, everything you said last night... I ain't gonna lie, I'm gonna need a bit to just wrap my head around it." He started lowly, and she grimaced further for the words right away, and he frowned a little at it, though he kept on. "But even though I'm not gonna get it right off, that doesn't mean I don't wanna know. I told you I'd rather hear it, and I mean it... and yeah, it works me up too, just like it does for you... It does bother me, but it's not how you're thinking... it bothers me, because of how bad it is on you... That does bother me, but... none of that is what's... tch, damn it...." He told her softly, and she stiffened at it, faltering for a second and her breathing stalling too.

... what...?

Laxus seemed to grumble a bit, whatever he planned to say next failing him it seemed. His eyes dropped from Frea and onto his hands, his fangs gritting as he saw them tremble and that sickening, nauseating sensation made a sudden reappearance- and he hated it.

He couldn't shake the sensation of her heart in the grip of his Magic, the rigidness of her body under his hands, and the pain etched into her face. He could not shake the booming of her heart and the terrifying stillness as it skipped over and over again, and in longer bursts- the groans and yelps of pain as his Magic fought with the electrical bursts in her body keeping her heart in that awful downward spiral. All these hours, and days later and he could not shake any of it, not the memory in the moment or... or how badly he felt he wanted to retch just then, and he swallowed hard.

.:+:.

He heard her heart, pounding, racing- beating way, way too hard. So hard it was almost deafening, and panic set in instantly, one thought racing through his mind in that instant and wiping all others clean.

It shouldn't be beating that fast, it shouldn't be beating that hard, or it's gonna-

The breakneck thump thump thump of her heart on his ears ceased.

His ears rung as the pounding gave way into deadly silence and his world felt like it tipped, terror rushing through him like complete and utter wildfire. Everything stopped right then, his own heart, his own breathing, time, all of it. For three seconds he did not move, he heard nothing at all- for three seconds his world stalled, just like her heart... And for three seconds that felt like a million years, he heard nothing- until the thumping started anew, just as hard, just as fast, but now so very, very uneven.

He felt Frea's entire body cringe, her muscles locking and recoiling under the sudden stall of her own heart- and then the jarring and agonizing feel of it starting back up again, still too fast, still too painful. She sucked in a breath of air that choked off right away, her body curling forward just a little as she coughed, the breath raspy and shallow and wheezy.

And then the heart beats broke off again, another three seconds of nothing, a wrench of complete stillness thrown in a rhythm to fast to properly keep count with- before dumping right back into too fast, too hard, and more and more uneven. She cringed again, every time as the second round of three-second stillness hit, and then the third, and they just kept coming. Every time her breathing got worse, shallower, more struggling- if she wasn't getting enough air before, she definitely wasn't now.

Her heart keeps... Skipping... Stopping and then... S..shit...

...

"Use your Magic to control the way the pulses are moving, get them to slow down, ease her heart out of this awful pace and toward something more controlled and even. You have to manipulate the current of the electrical pulses connected to her heart, force it to stop skipping, and to slow down." Porlyusica told Laxus lowly, her expression tense and her eyes steady on him. He could see the fear in her expression, but she kept it mostly hidden behind steadiness now as she told him quickly what to do, and Laxus swallowed hard despite himself.

She was telling him to literally... Force his Magic into Frea's heart and mess with it.

Her heart

She wanted him to mess with her heart, damn it... Literally mess with her heart.

...

As soon as he started he felt her tense, her gasping hitching in a shaky hiss and her body arching underneath him. Since he'd let his eyes drop closed in order to better concentrate on his Magic and what he was doing, he did not see the way her face twisted- but he knew it did anyway. He heard the way she winced, felt the way she started to squirm underneath his hands and he grimaced, keeping on anyway- even when she groaned and started moving enough that Talarr and Porlyusica had to hold her down to keep her still enough it didn't interfere with what he was doing.

He felt the electrical bursts bounce off his Magic, resistant against what he was doing, and she cringed again for it. A sharp yelp of pain escaped her, and he had to push his hands down a little harder to keep her more still.

Shit

...

Little bits of yellow sparked off his hands and he kept on, directing his Magic to push passed that little bit of resistance, and swallowing it up whole. His stomach churned for the sensation of letting his Magic push further and circle about her heart, the rhythm of it clashing terribly with the slower one he was trying to alter it toward. He could feel every beat of it, every jerk, every prickle of electricity and the way her body and the organ flinched at the unwanted currents of static and electricity... and he felt every ripple of current that moved outward and shuddered through the rest of her body in reaction to it. He felt the resistance spike and she yelled again, his shoulders hunching against it.

... Damn it... I...

Her heart skipped a beat again and the resistance tapered to near nothing. Enough every subtle thought was enough to steer the opposing current in the way he wanted, and even just a split second of thinking earned an immediate result- it was too easy, and he hated it.

One little, tiny, minuscule movement on his part he could either help her... Or just as easily kill her. In only half a second, or less.

...

She looked awful, pale as a ghost and so... So frail, and pained, and he swallowed hard against it.

All the shit that had happened was already bad enough, everything the Thunder Legion had told him made his blood boil and his stomach churn all at once... but this...?

Having to do this...? Even if it was supposed to... save her...?

He hated how rigid his body was, how much his shoulders had hunched and even the subtle shaking of his hands against her chest. His heart was pounding nearly as loudly as hers had been, and he felt nauseous. Hell, his body was slashed apart and burned all over and he should have been barely standing- but none of his pain made a dent at all. It didn't even register, not under the sick feeling gripping tightly to him, and how knotted he felt.

... Shit... I'm sorry, Frea...

.:+:.

Frea looked up quickly, her silver gaze flashing as she felt unease sparking off of him like a lightning storm, and a storm so heavy it was almost suffocating.

His shoulders went instantly stiff and rigid- everything about him was that way, and his hands clenched so hard his knuckles turned white... but they were shaking too, and she stared. Her mind derailed suddenly for the sight him, the way he seemed to bend in on himself a bit, and the sudden amount of unease and sheer terror that came from him next and was almost sickening... He looks like he's...?

She bristled a little, her derailed mind getting quickly taken over in concern and confusion- because Laxus shuddered. A shaky hiss escaped passed his gritted fangs, and he bent over a bit more, almost like he was.. crumbling.

She stiffened, reaching out uncertainly and sluggishly so- her hand never actually got very far at all, she just... she was having a hard time processing any of it, because Laxus never crumbled. Ever. Nor had she ever felt so much awful coming from him either- not that much tension, not that much fear, and not that much heart-wrenching ache.

"... L... Laxus...?" Frea stammered breathlessly, and he swallowed so hard she actually heard it. He took in a big breath of air, still hunched and hands still trembling as he forced his fists to unclench, though it was hard as hell to do so... and then harder still to make them, and the rest of his body, move at all.

He pushed himself closer to her across the bench, adjusting so he was sitting just before her, while his hands reached out and found her sides- hesitantly at first, before he held to her a little tighter, almost like he didn't dare let go at all. Frea froze a little under the hold, the distance between them cut to near nothing and without warning, and she was left reeling slightly still, her silver eyes glittering like mad when he paused for a heartbeat, and then he did what she absolutely did not expect.

Laxus' entire body bent, almost doubling over as he pulled her in closer to him, and his forehead fell against her chest gingerly, directly over her heart.

Frea faltered, eyes wide and her mind derailing again, and Laxus leaned his forehead a tiny bit more into her- but only just, he wouldn't dare press too hard, lest he hurt her for it. He buried his nose into her figure, a low, rumbling sigh escaping him as he seemed to sink into her that little bit, nuzzling against her faintly and the ends of his hair tickling the underside of her chin, the breath he let out warm against her chest.

Frea blinked several times over, her left hand hovering and not entirely sure what to do with the... well, incredibly unexpected, and entirely unusual contact- even a hug would have made more sense than this, and she just... didn't know what to do.

"... I won't ever ask you for anything that you don't want to give, Frea. I said I'd take it all, and I will... I can take it all, everything you tell me, all the bad, all the fights, everything- and nothing is gonna change that... but..." He started lowly, his head still bowed and pressed against her, and his voice quickly growing tenser and more hoarse toward the end. He broke off in a hiss, his hands on her sides tightening a little and she felt him tremble underneath her, and her breath caught in her throat for it. "... but I need one thing from you... whatever you do, whatever insanity you get dragged into after this, whatever happens, just... whatever... When I had to... when I was messing with... with your heart... tch... I hated it.... every second of it..." Laxus hissed lowly, his voice shaking where she had never heard it do so before and Frea froze, eyes wide. His hands on her sides tightened, trembling and his shoulders following suit, and her core absolutely churned for it, and what he asked next;

"... whatever happens, from now on... just... please don't make me have to do that again..."

Her heart felt like it skipped a beat, her stomach curling tightly and no small amount of distress and guilt all bundled up into one ramming into her. His voice was barely above a whisper that time, husky, and pleading almost- though he tried so hard to keep his voice as steady as he could. The words felt like they hit her like a train, and then hit a million times harder when she realized in an instant just how much him having to use his Magic on her had upset him.

She hadn't even considered it might upset him at all. It didn't occur to her at all, and she hated she hadn't realized it until he had to say it so plainly... and more struggled to say it at all.

Laxus, who generally didn't seem fazed by anything- and when he was hit hard by something, be never bent under it. He never got to this point, hunched, tense, shaking- so very, very distressed- and to a degree where he couldn't keep himself in check, or keep himself steady, at all.

She had never seen him crumble like this before, seen him shaking, or so curled in on himself- none of it. She'd felt fear from him before of course, but he never let himself get overtaken by it, or what was bothering him... but this...?

... this... is what all of that was about...? Him being so... wound up... and panicky... when I moved my shoulder...?

And last night... when he caught me when I fell... he was scared... he asked immediately... if it was my heart that...?

Tch... S... shit...

... I... Didn't...r-realize...

"... damn it... If I have to do it again to help you, I will... but... please... you can't go running around like an idiot, and get yourself torn up, and hurt to the point where it happens again... as much as you can manage it... please don't get hurt like this again... alright...? I know it ain't always on you... but please... " He kept on quietly, his voice utterly tense and so wispy she barely heard it- but she did, and her eyes flashed. "... I can take everything else... I can take you getting hurt, even though I hate it... And I hate everything else that's happened, and everything you have to live with- but I can take it. I can take knowing about it, even if I hate all of the shit that keeps happening to you... But having to do that... I don't want to, not if I don't have to... And the only other thing I can't take... is you dying again..." He hissed, and Frea bit down hard on the insides of her cheeks, her eyes glimmering.

"... Those are the only things I can't live with... I can take everything... ... everything but those... Frea..."

Her expression twisted along with her heart as she sucked in a sharp breath of air, tears welling at the corners of her eyes and spilling almost instantly.

Damn it, she hadn't wanted to do this, to anyone... But especially not to him. The one person she ever let see any of the hurt, and all the broken pieces she was made up of- she didn't... She...

Her left arm moved finally after having been hovering for a bit. She wrapped it around his neck and shoulders quickly, holding to him and her fingers curling into his hair as she buried her face into the blonde tufts. She stifled the sob that rose so suddenly in the back of her throat, fangs gritting as she held on to him tightly, and his hands on her sides snaked behind her back to hold her a bit more too.

... I didn't mean to... To hurt him... Worry him... Or scare him... this much... F...fuck...

... I would never... Have wanted to... Force him to do something that he hated that much... That hurt him... That much... E-enough that he's... Reacting like this... S...shit...

... N... Not after... Not on top of... Everything else... Damn it I...

She remembered in an instant what he said that night after pulling her out of the Reach, and it running through her head made the tears spill even faster, and her heart felt like it broke a little too.

"... I'd rather you be pissed at me and alive, then to have to lose you, again... If I'd known what it would feel like, to watch you get killed like that, to know you might not come back... I don't ever want to feel like that again. The Guild's been tearin' itself apart over you... and I've been barely keeping myself from going crazy too..."

She'd done it again- and not just that... he'd been forced to do something that made him absolutely sick to the core, just to try and avoid the very same thing he'd never wanted to feel again... s...shit...

"... I am so... s-sorry..." She stammered breathlessly, "... I... I'm sorry... I... Shit... I promise... I won't... Do anything that will make you... Damn it... I... I didn't mean to...t...to.." She hissed, her hold around his head getting a little tighter, and a little shakier, and he let out a low, heavy breath at it.

"... I know..." He rumbled lowly, his hands hooking behind her back and pulling her the rest of the way into him so she was in between his knees and pressed against him. His forehead moved up from resting on her chest and instead he buried his nose into the crook of her neck, repeating the same embrace and hug as the night before where he engulfed her entirely, and wouldn't let go. Her body hitched a little underneath him along with her breathing in a little half-sob, grumbling a bit at it and her chin dropping down onto his shoulder, doing her best to stop the tears before they got going too far... though she failed to stifle them for a long time, and he just let her have as much time as she needed.

His heart ached at how quickly she ended up crying again, and more so because she was crying about having upset him... he knew she hadn't done it on purpose, she apologized for it right away- she was guilty, and making her feel that way hadn't been his intention, but he just let it be. He had to say it, make it clear, and ask her for that one thing... even if it hurt... Just like he had to say everything else... and just like he needed to know about all of it.

It was all because of what he'd realized after all of this, that one realization. That one thing he knew had changed, and he had now been forced into coming to terms with- where he'd been dancing around it for way too long.

Why he couldn't stop himself when it came to her.

Why he was being a bit obsessive, and hovering, even when that was not something he did.

Why him having to mess with her heart made him feel so nauseous, and so strung out, and so tense, and on edge, and even... Even scared.

And why the Tower Collapsing had caused him to stop dead in the middle of his fight with Nirav too.

And now he couldn't just ignore it anymore, or shrug it off. He couldn't move passed it now and act like everything was as it was, because nothing was the same anymore. Things had changed, and there was no way of going back- and no way he would ever want to go back to how it was before. Even with all the bad that came with, and prompted the change, and the realization.

Going back to how things were would be worse. This way he wasn't so much in the dark, and neither was she... This way, there was nothing standing in the way, and no mental block between what he was doing, or why. He knew now, and while he wasn't exactly sure when it had happened- it had... and hell if he was gonna shy away from acting on it, or anything like that.

Not anymore

It took a bit, but eventually she ceased with the crying, quieting down and sniffing as she leaned back in his hold and put a little distance between them again. Laxus watched her quietly, his hands moving from her back and settling on her hips again, while Frea shook her head a bit, seemingly shaking herself out. She grumbled under her breath, sucking in a big breath of air and holding it, her left hand moving from holding around his shoulders and rubbing at her face to try and get rid of the lingering moisture. Her head bent a bit, the breath she let out escaping her and the back of her hand stalling on her forehead as she sniffed one last time, and then let out a low groan, and his head tilted at it.

"You okay?" He asked quietly and she nodded a little, her hand falling and her eyes closed for a moment as she forced a low sigh.

"... yeah, I just... have a really bad headache..." She mumbled, her voice low and almost hoarse again, and his eyes flashed at it, and the way she had to break off at the end and cough a bit, to try and clear her throat a bit.

He figured crying for hours last night, and then crying again just now would certainly call for a headache... and it was probably more than fair it would be a bad one, given everything else. And of course her voice sounded wispy and rough- again, crying for hours would warrant it... Especially crying as hard as she had, and saying as much as she did all at the same time.

... And the amount of yelling and screaming they'd all heard from her while being up in that Tower probably didn't help anything either... Tch.

He bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes darting away from her for a moment and finding the pitcher of water and glasses stacked behind him, and of which he noticed a little before. "... Here." He murmured lowly, his hands leaving her hips and adjusting stiffly to turn around, Frea jumping a little as he started to move, silver eyes glassy still and glinting in question. Laxus moved off the bench slowly, bending over (and with a sharp prick of pain coming off him while doing so) and messing with what she couldn't see around him, but she heard liquid pouring and watched quietly all the way until getting stood back up stiffly, and then stepped toward her- a glass of water in each hand.

"You're dehydrated." Laxus told her flatly, handing a glass her way and she blinked. "It probably ain't helping with the headache, and you sound like your losing your voice too- so take it." He grumbled, his hand and the glass with it inching forward a little more, and a little more insistent. Frea paused for half a second, before nodding a bit and taking it from him.

"... Zennei..."

He faltered for only a heartbeat at the sudden mumble of what sounded like the Dragon Language, before he sidetracked to pick the pitcher up and set it on the bench, before taking a seat again and drinking the water in his own cup in one go. He paused a minute to make sure she took a drink too, before filling his empty cup again and they fell into silence for a little, simply... Settling.

Frea ended up staring into the cup for quite awhile, a repeat of having done so the day before- but this time she didn't feel nearly as tightly knotted, or wavering so close to breaking apart... Of course not, because she'd already fallen apart, even after trying so hard all day yesterday not to.

It sucked, it hurt, and she still felt frayed and pulled apart and not anywhere near whole... But yeah, somehow she felt less wound up. Less like there were ropes tied around her, knotted, criss-crossed, pulling hard and suffocating her. She'd felt like she was suffocating all day yesterday, whether just by falling in her own head, or being fussed over, or having everyone walking on eggshells around her- it was less suffocating now, but not gone all the way... No, that and the broken feeling was still there. And the sensation of being torn every which way, and the ache in her soul from tension and fear was still there too. It was still hanging over her like a looming cloud, watching, waiting with bated breath to scoop her up again and tear her down... But it wasn't as heavy a cloud as yesterday.

It had lightened a bit, let up, and now she could catch her breathe and start to try and... pull everything back together, even when the notion still felt a little impossible.

She wanted to pull together, she really did. She wanted to pick up, settle, buck up and get passed it... She wanted it, so much, even with the lingering doubt, fear and hurt that she wouldn't be able to stop biting at her heels. And more so than her want to stop being like this, and being a mess, and being afraid... She really, really wanted what he said to be true too.

You won't Fall

She wanted him to be right, and maybe even a part of her trusted that he actually was. He seemed so sure of it, she knew and felt just how much he had meant it, and how sincere he'd been while telling it to her. He seemed so sure, and she... Needed him to be right... But she wasn't quite at the point of being able to trust what he believed so much, that that trust overshadowed her fear and doubts entirely. She wasn't there yet... But she wanted to be.

And maybe eventually... She could be.

Please... Let me be... Let me trust and know with everything... He is right

Let him be right... And please... Let me be able to... To prove him right

... I want... To...

Her eyes glittered, a spare ray of sunlight poking through the rafters overhead bouncing off the glass in her hand.

... I want to be alright...

... And... I do feel better now... After talking about... all of it... To someone... To him.

... Even if it's all... So insane... And so bad...

... I needed to have somebody... Who knows... All of it...

She glanced away from the cup and toward Laxus slowly, only to see him with his eyes closed and quiet in his seat.

... Though... I haven't gotten through all of it yet...

She sighed silently at the thought, her eyes flashing as she looked away again.

"... You can ask, Laxus." Frea murmured softly, the sudden breaking of the silence with the statement making him jump a little, his eyes narrowing at her in confusion. She seemed aware of the look though her eyes had fallen into her cup again, and she let out a deep, low breath.

"I know you have to have questions, after everything I blurted out... You said you wouldn't ask and I appreciate it- but I don't mind explaining things to you, or... Talking them through. It might be better that way, and help so you better understand all the insanity..." She told him quietly. "... I don't wanna have you just settle with only half an understanding of everything... It... It might make it easier, to... Talk." She mumbled, a touch uncertainly then- before she sighed and shook her head at herself. "... There is more, like I said, but... It might be good to really clarify things, especially what happened here in Adgnei..." She added quietly, and Laxus paused. He was quiet for a few seconds, just trying to gauge it all, what she said, what she meant... If she meant it.

He didn't say anything for a few heartbeats as he seemed to mull it over, tensely so- before forcing a low breath. "... Are you sure?" He asked lowly, and she glanced his way at that, silver eyes glittering. She smiled faintly, looking a little nervous, but only a little, and she nodded.

"I'm sure."

Laxus didn't actually ask all that much of her, only a few things- and never anything that went outside the scope of what she'd said, or might lead there. He told her to take her time, take it slow, and just start over- and he simply sat there, listening quietly as she ran through it all again, and this time without falling apart or gasping the words out through sobs. She remained actually quite calm this time, trudging through it at her own pace and simply stringing the details and the chaos all together in a more comprehensive, understandable fashion.

Rarely did he interject, and when he did it was only to clarify something, or tell her to take a breath when her voice got a little too tense, and a little too shaky at times.

They went through everything that had happened in the Tower again, and everything having to do with the Tomb of Soul and the Darkness born from it that was eating at her now- and wished so much to consume her, and make her Fall. On this subject Laxus didn't linger too long, but he did ask if she was sure there was nothing to be done about it- but the answer was a no, as she assured. Not even Jynx could fix this, so she would just have to live with it.

He didn't seem to like the answer much, but he let it be, assuring her again that she'd be fine and she'd never bend- and this time she felt a little more of her doubt and worry fade... and words could not begin to describe how much him saying that without hesitation actually meant to her.

Twice during the whole of the talking she stopped herself mid-sentence, and doubled over a bit- chilly agony rushing through every inch of her as the Darkness in her core swirled, and all Laxus could so was sit there and wait for the pain to fade, and he hated it... And also hated that neither he, nor anybody else, had ever noticed her suffering that much and in utter silence all this time since her battle with Mordren.

Who of which, when recanting Mordren's life, and what had happened in Adgnei so, so long ago- on that they spent a bit more time. Frea's pace grew slower, the look on her face more faraway and somber, almost wading through the plethora of events and history that had been forced upon her unwillingly. Not everything that had happened in the history of Mordren was as terrible as the ending, and the epilogue involving his fight against Frea. In fact most of what Frea told him of it seemed... almost impossibly normal, and even mundane- it was a side to someone Laxus could only see as a monster, and upon learning all that had come before it, and how Frea seemed to see it...?

Frea didn't really seem to view Mordren in any sort of light that would have implied hatred, or disgust- which would have been more than fair given what he'd done to her. But no, she actually seemed somber about it, even like she pitied him, and she seemed distressed, and sympathetic too- and so... sad.

How could she look so upset over someone who had done such awful things...? Not only to every single person who lived in Adgnei and he had eventually massacred, but to her as well...? Especially her? He'd killed her... and still she didn't hate him, she was upset by everything that had ever happened to him.

Laxus couldn't say he agreed with her on the point, he didn't think he could ever see Mordren as anything other than the bastard who had done so much awful... but even then, how could Laxus think about it, and not wonder how Frea could have ever forgiven him for all the awful shit he did to her in their younger years?

What hit Frea the most about the whole thing with Mordren, was what had happened with Reyan... Reyan who, as she told it, was the one thing in the whole of the world that Mordren had ever truly loved- and the one thing Mordren had destroyed, and in doing that had tipped him over the edge of the Abyss forever. Laxus saw her go rigid, her hands balling into fists and her eyes downward as she seemed to hold her breath against the memory of it- and for a few seconds, she seemed very close to actually crumbling again, and to start crying. She didn't go into the details of what end Reyan meant, she didn't say it out loud- but she clearly got sucked into it right away, the memory running through her mind clear as day and it hit hard.

Something about it hit harder than anything else in all the retelling of Mordren's history, and Laxus wasn't sure what it was at all... or why she seemed to stop herself from saying something in regards to it. Something else, something maybe like all the 'more' she said she'd yet to tell him- and maybe there was more to it, but she couldn't bring herself to voicing it, and he did not press it either. She would tell him whatever it was when she was ready.

So they got passed the portion about Reyan, and into everything involving the Forces of Creation, the Mortal Embodiment's, and everything in between. Frea was much less tense discussing this portion, which helped wind her down from the previous topic- and some of it was something of a repeat from what she'd told the Guild... but the portion about her being the Malurey, about Rified and Jynx and whoever that stranger who Laxus had seen before being brought to the Reach- all of that was new, and something among the many she had kept to herself from everyone... well, most everyone.

Chase knew about it (he also knew about the Darkness in his Old Mentor, Frea mentioned), Moon as well, from what she said- and of course Jynx was in the know, and Saige Balthan too, apparently. There was actually a lot of this that Saige was aware of, though it seemed odd considering the man was something of a mystery and a complete stranger in all of this- he and Frea hadn't really know each other all that long, but that didn't matter. Frea explained Saige's know-how on everything a little, but again- there was something she seemed not to say, just like before with Reyan- and Laxus let it be.

Laxus couldn't say he had much luck in really wrapping his head around all of it, it was all so complicated, and sort of on a colossal scale- but even if he didn't get it so much, he did listen in earnest and do his best... and of course the line of thought about the Forces of Creation ended in a rather tense recall of the events that had transpired in the Reach... of which, neither Laxus nor Frea had ever talked about again, ever.

She explained to him what had all gone on, how she'd been forced through watching Mordren's Memories by Time itself (again, way too out of his league to really get), and then how Rified, Jynx, and that other guy- the Fealorr, still no clue on his name- had all staved off the waters of the Reach and allowed Laxus entry into it, ferried his Soul over, and rewound time to save her life slipping away. Frea still seemed rather miffed about him giving up his Chance, unsurprisingly- and it made more sense now knowing what had happened with Chaitanya... but again, Laxus made it very clear he would do it again in a heartbeat if he had to. He'd said it before, and he said it again;

"... You can be pissed at me, for giving up my Chance. Be mad about it if you have to- if I had to do it again to save you- I wouldn't hesitate."

... and Frea had to leave it be.

At mention of Chaitanya, Frea looked ready to cry again but she stopped herself... and barely stopped herself again when Laxus' hand came down lightly on her head and he rumbled an apology for her. She'd clearly not told anybody about it, nor did he think she ever really intended to- the death of her Foster Mother, and subsequent sacrifice all these years, was clearly very raw for Frea, and understandably so. She'd probably been doing her best not to even think about it, let alone really face the reality of it... and when she did let herself face it, it was heartbreaking to watch, and Laxus swallowed hard.

Frea had never mentioned much about her Dragon to anyone in the Guild, from what Laxus knew. Most of the other Dragon Slayers who had had Dragon's as parents didn't really seem to want to talk about them too much either, and nobody in the Guild ever questioned it. Because clearly Frea, Natsu, Wendy and Gajeel all missed their Foster Parents deeply... The Dragons had gone missing and so abruptly, with absolutely no sign of them since- it must have surely crossed the Dragon Slayer's minds that something may have befallen their Foster Parents, and that they may never know what, or even see them again. That very thing must have crossed Frea's mind a million times over the years, and the worst had happened- Chaitanya was gone, and Frea would never see her, ever again... and the guilt that came with knowing the Energy Dragon had been stripping her life away for Frea all this time was suffocating.

Frea did her best not to crumble, she had a harder time doing it when he said it, 'I'm sorry'... but she kept herself together regardless and simply nodded a little, and then moved on entirely.

When at one point they touched briefly on all that had happened in the city, and with all the chaos and whatever- Laxus did what Master, Porlyusica, and so many people had already done, and assured Frea it wasn't her fault. It didn't stick much even when Laxus said it though, she still felt sick to her stomach with guilt, and probably would for a long, long time to come- regardless what anyone said about it.

The last and final topic they started in on, was of what had happened in the Throne Room and with the Thunder Legion, and Frea was just as uneasy about it as she had been when talking about Reyan- but she was also more jumpy. Laxus didn't blame her for being, and he hadn't really wanted to bring it up or let them talk about it at all... but it was one thing he had no choice but to bring up, because he had to tell her about what he did.

She started to stammer through what had happened, her voice quavering and her body trembling faintly too, while panic and fear lit up in those silver eyes of hers at the sheer memory of it- and he cut her off before she got too far. She didn't have to say what had gone on, he already knew everything he needed to about it from what the Thunder Legion had told him... and speaking of;

"Look- Freed, Bixlow and Evergreen- they were really worked up about the whole thing, and how you reacted, and what you said, about being pulled under." Laxus mumbled slowly after breaking her away from delving too far into recanting the ordeal. "They would never force you into telling them why you got... freaked out, or what had happened before but... They were worried about you, and it was gonna keep running around in their heads forever, eating at them... so..." He murmured, before breaking off a moment and seeming to bite the inside of his cheek- and Frea felt the uncertainty spark off of him next, and she blinked slowly at it. His hand moved up to rub the back of his neck a touch nervously, his expression twisting faintly as he grumbled a bit under his breath, and she tilted her head at it.

"... I know you probably didn't wanna have anybody know about what happened with you in the Reach for those two weeks, but I didn't think letting them sit in the dark about it was a great idea. So I told them, about you being there..." He mumbled quietly, his eyes flashing as he looked away from her. "... I get I didn't really have any right to tell them that without asking you, so that's on me... but they ain't gonna press you about it, they just wanted to understand it better..." He sighed, his eyes dropping closed as he seemed to chew a bit more on the inside of his cheek. "... though it might have been better not to say anything at all... it worked them up a lot worse than they already were, after finding out... and it's eating at them still..." He added quietly, his voice dropping a little as he seemed to grimace at the thought of it, and Frea's eyes glinted at... well, it sort of sounded like he was apologizing. Or trying to, anyway.

And the way his voice dropped at the end, thinking about the Thunder Legion's reaction to knowing about it- he sounded like he was regretting his decision, because clearly they'd taken it poorly... Frea sighed softly.

If they'd taken it poorly, she couldn't say the Thunder Legion had really let it show the day before when she'd seen them. They'd been tense of course, just like everyone else, and few times she had noticed some looks shared between them- knowing looks... but those were expected, because they'd seen her reaction to the water and therefore knew it was a touchy subject.

But it had never occurred to Frea they knew the reason why it hit so hard, and she couldn't say she really expected Laxus would have said anything about the Reach at all. So it surprised her, but maybe not all that much- since there was no way of avoiding the Thunder Legion knowing about her sudden and unexpected... fear of water... she'd known there wasn't a way to avoid it already, and she'd kind of dreaded having to talk to them about it eventually- because she would definitely have to.

But now... I guess I don't have to

She shook her head a little, silver eyes glinting as she caught his eye again, his attention darting toward her when he saw her shake her head.

"I don't mind you told them, Laxus." Frea told him quietly, and he froze a tiny bit at the reply. "As it was, I was probably gonna have to explain things to them anyway... they kind of deserved to know, after seeing what happened. I wasn't planning to just brush over it, one way or another, they were eventually going to know- so I don't mind you told them." She explained softly with another small shake of her head. "Besides, what happened in the Reach... it's your business too. You can tell them as much as you want, it's not all up to me, you were a part of it. And they're your friends, I wouldn't ever expect you to keep it from them if you didn't want to." She added softly, and he blinked, a little taken aback for a moment, and Frea's eyes fell a little. "... that includes the Chance... all of that is yours to tell whoever you want to, if you want to, it's not all up to me. And whoever- if anyone- that you do decide to tell, that's fine with me... I know you wouldn't tell anybody any of this unless you trusted them, and you trust the Thunder Legion, so I do too." She hummed, silver eyes glinting as she shook her head a little. "... I do trust them, especially after this. They really helped a lot, with everything..." She murmured, smiling sadly for a moment at the last bit and Laxus faltered a second or two longer, his eyes widening a little at the response he was not expecting- at all.

"... They were really kind, and really, really patient with me... And I know they fought hard, and did everything they could, even when they were beat to hell, or whatever. And earlier, I know they were worried, but they were really doing their best not to treat me like... I was just gonna fall apart." She said softly, "... They were doing their best to act as normal as possible, even knowing about it... And honestly, I really needed that yesterday... It was... Really nice." She murmured, her smile growing a little less sad for a moment as her eyes flashed, and Laxus expression softened, aqua blue eyes gleaming.

... after this, he'd have to reiterate to the Thunder Legion what he'd said before- that Frea had been sincere in thanking them like they'd said. Because though he'd already been sure of it before, seeing her smile like that now, and say that- Frea had meant it, truly.

And Laxus himself had his own thanks to give to the Thunder Legion too. More so than he already had, and more than he'd fully realized until that very moment.

Laxus nodded a little in reply, and Frea nodded a little back, her smile fading a little as her eyes fell into her lap. "... I'm probably gonna tell Moon about the... Water... thing." She said after a moment, "I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep myself in check enough that she won't notice, not after this..." She admitted quietly, and Laxus nodded a bit again, but said nothing. She seemed hesitant to the idea of telling Moon at all, and she didn't look forward to the conversation... But the bit about 'not keeping herself in check' did make him grimace, faintly.

He let it go though and adjusted, his hand digging in his pocket and catching Frea's immediate interest- her silver eyes widening in surprise when his hand came up and opened to let her see a ring resting in his palm. Her ring, the one from Nvindorr and the very same ring he'd given back to her before now, after she'd thought she'd lost it fighting with Mordren.

The ring, along with the Limiter given to her by Saige, had been stripped from her person at some point after her heart had started to fail and what came thereafter. And honestly, until that very moment she hadn't even registered either was missing- of course not, since her entire being had been so consumed with... Everything.

The Limiter she probably should have worried about- but at the moment it wasn't exactly useful, given she was still fairly well devoid of any Magic Energy after having it spent at the Tomb. But the ring? She should have realized it was gone right away, and she cursed herself for letting it go over her head like that at all.

But why did Laxus have it..?

She glanced from the ring and toward Laxus curiously, the Lightning Dragon Slayer seemingly gathering what the look meant and shaking his head a bit with an exasperated sigh. "That Talarr guy left it with me to hold on to, though I don't have a clue why he gave it to me." Laxus huffed, and Frea's eyes narrowed a bit, a little confused herself. She hadn't a clue why either, and she just shook her head a little, her hand moving up to take the ring from him and slipping it a little less than gracefully onto her thumb, but she got it there with the one hand.

"... Well thank you anyway, I hadn't even realized I didn't have it." She mumbled softly, twirling it once or twice almost absentmindedly as her eyes traced the swirling patterns along the edge. "... And thank you, for listening and... All of this, Laxus." She added quietly, her eyes breaking from the ring and catching his a bit, a small little smile on her face that betrayed how exhausted and strung out she looked, and a lot more than she probably meant for it to- but it was a soft smile still, and sincere. Her eyes gleamed as she nodded a bit, taking in a big breath and letting it out slow, her shoulders falling a little, and a little bit of the tension in her body melted along with the release of the breath. "I mean it, thank you." Frea told him quietly, "I know all of it has been a lot, and all the shit that's happened has been... Awful... But I feel a lot better now, just having somebody else know... and even talking through it... Plus, everything you've said, and done... You've really helped, a lot, Laxus." She murmured, silver eyes glittering as small specks of moisture poked at the corners of her eyes and he wilted a little at the sudden show of the tears- but she smiled a little more anyway, even when they spilled over, silent and glittering as they fell down her cheeks.

"Thank you, for everything." She told him breathlessly, her voice low and rough and almost wheezy again, and getting a little worse for the well of emotion and the tears. Her voice had been getting progressively more and more raspy as time went on, though generally she didn't seem to notice or really be bothered by it- but it was a lot worse just then, and it was because she got so wound up with the thanks, and all that came with it.

Laxus wilted a little more, his eyes flashing as he nodded a bit.

"You got it." He rumbled softly, his hands reaching up for her face and gently wiping the tears away, and she let him do it, entirely unbothered by the gesture. "... You don't gotta cry about it, or thank me, though... I already told you, I'll do whatever I have to, take whatever I have to... just as long as you stay." He told her quietly and she sniffed, letting out a small breath and nodding a little, her heart aching and warming all at once.

".. I know..." She breathed, his hands pulling back again and she smiled a tad more. "You are actually very good at the whole taking care of people thing, ya know...? You're such a big softie, hehe..." She told him lightly, looking a touch amused and he huffed quietly at it, clicking his tongue. He looked away from her and the rather teasing tone of voice, his cheeks burning slightly- much to his chagrin.

"Tch... shut it." He shot back lowly, but there was no edge at all to his voice, and Frea just smiled more at the reply, chuckling a little bit more and leaving it be. He shot her a look from the side, his eyes softening a tad to see the tension in her shoulders melt away a little more, and the sound of that small chuckle echoed on his ears. She had been trying to hit a nerve and get a rise out of him just then, and she seemed almost content.

Even after all of this, a full night of nothing but sobbing, and full on breaking down- and then even today and now, with breaking apart again and her being so quick to cry too... She looked content just then, even happy.

Even under all the bad, she smiled, and laughed, and it was real. She picked back up again and again, even when it shouldn't have been possible- but she still always did it... even now, she found some way to get passed all the bad a little, no matter how bad it all really was.

... She keeps on being... bright... always... even when it doesn't make sense...

He smirked faintly to himself, for half a second, his eyes dropping closed.

He'd not doubted it beforehand, and even after hearing everything, and learning about it... it didn't make sense, but he still didn't begin to doubt it, even knowing all the rest. He knew she'd still end up doing it, finding a way passed all the bad, like she always does- and doing that thing he still just didn't get, but that very thing that made her, her.

But even if he knew, it was still a relief to see it, just then. And it was a bit of a relief too, that her actually leaning on him and telling him all of that, could help her pick up again as well. It was better than her bottling all of that up still, and letting it tear her apart- he'd said it already, hadn't he?

"... And hell if I'm gonna let you keep tearing yourself up by burying it all when you don't have to."

He meant it then, and he still meant it now- she didn't have to bury everything, or bundle it up and keep it all to herself. And now, finally, after so long and so much- she seemed to have come to that realization all on her own, and did what he wanted her to. She let him in, let him know it all, and let herself allow him to see all of it- all the bad, all the turmoil, all the broken pieces... she let herself lean on him, and let herself trust him- completely.

Now? Now things were certainly different, and changed forever, and that was fine. In fact-

This is better... no matter what comes

Frea glanced up, her eyes reflecting the little blips of light making their way through the rafters overhead and pausing a moment. The sky was turning a muddy blue-yellow now that would eventually turn orange, the sun inching closer to the other horizon already.

We've been here... almost all day...

Her eyes dropped down from the rafters and to the side, her attention landing briefly on the distant figure of the Capital City in the Valley far, far below. It looked blackened, and burned- naturally, as it had been on fire. She could smell the ash and soot still, and her stomach curled a little for it, and the reminder of the destruction that had been wrought by opening the Tomb... she shook it off quickly, she didn't want to touch that right now, not after having gone through everything else.

"I guess we should probably head back in, huh..?" She murmured, her eyes leaving the ruined city and finding Laxus again. "We've been here a long time... I'm sure everybody's probably antsy..." She said quietly, her voice fluctuating a bit halfway through and cracking despite herself, and he huffed a little, casting her a wary look for a moment.

"... Yeah... But before we go anywhere-" He grumbled, a weary sigh escaping him as he adjusted and reached for her, his hands coming down gently on either side of her neck and the bandages wrapped around it, and her shoulders. Frea blinked in surprise at the action, going still for a minute and biting down on the inside of her cheek for the faint stinging sensation that followed it, even when he did his best to barely touch her at all.

Laxus' face fell, and his jaw clenched a little when he felt the heat coming up even passed the bandages on her person, and even the bandages wrapped on his hands too. He grumbled a bit under his breath for it, one hand moving up to press the back of his hand against her forehead- and Frea simply let out a silent breath at it. Her forehead wasn't near as warm as her neck or shoulders, or even really at all- she was a little warm, but the wounds and electrical burns born from the Collar were what were sparking with no small amount of heat, and that had him looking uneasy. His hand left her head and went back to the wounds, grumbling a bit more while Frea just watched him quietly.

"These feel hot." He grumbled lowly, and she blinked.

"... Do they...?" She mumbled still rather hoarsely still, her own hand moving to press against the back of her neck and she cleared her throat a little. "... Mmmm... I guess they kinda do, huh...?" She mumbled lowly, and he grit his teeth a little at the slowly more rough sound of her voice.

The heat off the injuries worried him, because it could mean some sort of infection was setting in now- and she really did not need that... Of course she could also have just agitated them with all the crying (like she had with her voice), and all her emotions being in such a flux- which would be better, but either way it was probably passed time to draw all of this to a halt for now, and do as she said; head back.

Laxus shook his head a little, his hands pulling away as he stood up from the bench rather stiffly, growling a bit under his breath in the midst of it and Frea felt the ache of pain spark off him a bit sharper right away, and bit her cheek for it. She could feel ache coming from him constantly, and ache that got worse whenever he moved, even a little- but him getting up was ten times worse, and the pain coming off him was sharp and jolting against her skin. He was stiff, and almost rigid and jerking in his movements, especially when straightening up or bending over, and she swallowed hard at it.

Laxus didn't show the discomfort outwardly though, and he turned back to her, picking up the glass she'd been drinking from intermittently and dropping the last of the water into it. He handed it her way with a slightly pointed look, and she tilted her head a bit.

"Your voice sounds like crap, so drink the rest of this, it'll have to do for now." He huffed softly, "And you probably oughtta avoid talking too much for a bit, especially if you don't need to. Otherwise you're gonna end up losing your voice entirely- so be quiet, got it? At least until Wendy or someone takes a look at you, and those burns." He added a bit sternly, and she blinked again, before nodding and taking the glass from him to do as he said.

... got it...

When she was done with the last of the water she set the glass down, and her eyes raised to see he'd held a bandaged hand out for her already.

"Come on, before the Guild starts a search party looking for you... If they haven't already." He mumbled lowly and Frea smiled a bit at it, her left hand meeting his and he pulled her up off the bench and onto her feet, their hands not separating again until he was sure she was steady enough on her own.

They headed back through the gardens quietly, shoulder to shoulder and not saying a thing- they didn't need to (plus he's probably snap at her for trying).

Neither Laxus nor Frea had ever been the sorts of people to really talk a lot, or say much out loud, but... they'd actually talked more today, and the night before, than they probably had in their lives. It was out of the ordinary surely, but it wasn't a bad thing... for once, it wasn't actions that spoke more than the actual words. This time just saying it all out loud and plain- that was everything.

... Well, saying almost all of it out loud- but some things could wait a little. Frea wasn't there yet, and Laxus knew it- if he had to wait, he would.

Both Dragon Slayers drew up a little as they reached the wide archway leading out of the gardens and into the palace, both of them blinking in surprise to see Evergreen, Bixlow, and Freed sitting on the low walls lining either side of the archway itself. The trio's head snapped up and instantly at attention the second they saw the two headed their way, the three of them climbing to their feet and almost ready to start forward and meet them halfway- but they seemed to think better of it and just waited for Laxus and Frea to make it the rest of the way. There was a flicker of concern that washed over their faces when Laxus and Frea stepped up before them, the Thunder Legion's quick survey of the two only ending in a notice of how tired both the Dragon Slayers looked, and almost worn down, faintly.

"... Have you guys been waiting here... the whole day...?" Frea asked quietly, her voice cracking almost painfully halfway through and both Laxus and the Thunder Legion stiffened at it, looking agitated and ruffled- in that order.

Frea didn't really see the looks though, since she ended up coughing a little when the sensation of her voice breaking off made her throat tickle more than a little, and she frowned at it.

... Damn it... That's gonna get real annoying...

"... Tch, idiot what did I just tell you?" Laxus huffed quietly in her direction and Frea jumped at the rather sharp comment, biting the inside of her cheek and sighing. She grumbled a bit but didn't actually say anything back- this time actually listening on the quitting talking part. She did shoot him a somewhat disgruntled glare from the side though, not that it did anything but make him shoot one of his own back at her.

"A-are you alright...?" Freed mumbled uncertainly, interrupting the exchange of slightly stubborn stares between the two.

"Yeah, your voice sounds pretty rough." Bixlow hummed, leaning in a bit toward Frea and she liked faintly exasperated at the mention.

"Rough~! Rough~!" His Tiki Dolls chimed, spinning forward and over their heads.

"Are you both okay...?" Evergreen mumbled lowly, quirking a brow at both the blondes rather suspiciously.

Frea smiled slightly at them, the sudden appearance of a smile making The Thunder Legion falter slightly. Because it wasn't like the smile they had seen from her the day before- a sad, shaky and strained one... But this smile was... a real smile...?

But... how... all of sudden...?

Frea did not pause on their somewhat stunned expressions, she simply nodded lightly to the questions, and Laxus huffed again, but nodded too.

"Mhm." Frea hummed lightly, foregoing any more of a verbal response than that.

"We're fine." Laxus murmured, his head tilting toward Frea with a sigh. "She's losing her voice, so better she keep her mouth shut for a bit." He explained rather flatly in regards to Bixlow and Freed's questions. Frea shot him another halfway disgruntled look at the keeping her 'mouth shut' bit, silver eyes glittering at the comment- it was a little bit of his gruff self, after what felt like forever of him being... well, sort of uncharacteristically gentle- not that she minded.

"Losing... your voice...?" The Thunder Legion echoed in near unison with a glance toward Frea, who smiled a little more, and a little more in exasperation too. She could see the question on their faces, and the confusion too- she wanted to say something like it was fine or whatever, but the risk of agitating Laxus further kept her quiet. And Laxus was all too quick to control the conversation, and change the subject a little.

"Has the Guild been looking for us?" Laxus asked lowly, and the Thunder Legion paused, before shaking their heads.

"No, everybody's been mostly to themselves." Freed explained, "Things have kind of wound down, and everyone is taking a moment to... breathe, I suppose."

"Talarr and Porlyusica were looking for Frea earlier, but they left you two be, since you both seemed fairly well asleep when we checked in before." Evergreen murmured with a nod toward Frea and then Laxus, and they both blinked at it.

"Yeah, you two been conked out this whole time~?" Bixlow smirked slightly as he asked the question. Frea smiled a tad softer, shaking her head a bit in reply, and Bixlow, along with Evergreen and Freed all faltered a bit at the no. Bixlow's head tilted quiet a bit more in question, eyes flashing under his visor. "Huh~? What have you been up to then~?" He asked with ease, and Frea cast a quick glance at Laxus, before glancing back at Bixlow and shaking her head a bit.

"... We were just talking for a little." Frea replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper as to keep it from breaking on her like it did before. Bixlow looked a little intrigued with the answer, but he just nodded and let it go- though he did smirk a little in amusement at the way a vein on Laxus' head ticked at the fact she'd said a damn thing, when he specifically told her to quit-

"Oi." The Lightning Dragon Slayer growled lowly, and right off- Frea smiled slightly in faint amusement, waving her hand at him in a bit of relenting, as well as a somewhat dismissive manner. Laxus grimaced at it, but let it go and stepped forward, his hands falling on Frea's left shoulder and the small of her back as he firmly, yet gently, pushed her forward ahead of him and passed the Thunder Legion too. "Alright enough, the Old Lady was looking for you, better not keep her waiting." Laxus huffed, forcing Frea ahead of him for only a few steps before she started walking herself. The Thunder Legion smiling faintly in amusement as Frea and Laxus passed them by. Frea shot him a look over her shoulder as she stepped a few more paces toward the archway, and Laxus caught it, grumbling.

"I already told you that you were gonna get looked at, don't argue with it." He told her lowly, "And besides- I don't wanna sit through Porlyusica snapping my head off for keeping you away from her forever... tch, I don't wanna listen to the Old Man lecture me either, for that matter." Laxus added with a grumble of annoyance, and Frea paused, smiling slightly at the words and looking ahead again.

... I wasn't actually planning to argue... ya know...

She stiffened slightly, another heavy throbbing of pain from Laxus ramming into her from behind and she sighed silently for it.

The Thunder Legion smiled softly to themselves as the two Dragon Slayers started ahead of them, looking amused and a little relieved all at once before they began to follow them back inside the Palace.

They weren't quite sure what it was Frea and Laxus had been 'talking' about, and they had doubts all of the conversation was pleasant- but somehow there seemed to have been a sudden shift in mood they weren't expecting at all. Like the heavy blanket of unease and worry had been lifted a little, and so very suddenly- but it was a nice change. Even if they didn't get it, Frea clearly seemed in a better mood, if that smile had been any indication- and Laxus was in a much better mood too, they could tell instantly. He'd been so pent up and quiet the last few fays, hardly sleeping and so very, very tense... but him just then?

His hands gentle on Frea as he pushed her ahead of him, the annoyance he showed when she kept talking despite his instructions not to? And even the little stint of them shooting glares at one another, or his order on her not arguing with him? To which Frea smiled at and let it be..?

They didn't get it, but both Dragon Slayers seemed like some part of the weight of the world and all the bad that had fallen on their shoulders had melted away in their time together- and the Thunder Legion were immensely grateful to see the change. For both Laxus', and Frea's sakes.

And maybe Laxus had been right after all, hmm? When he said that about Frea that night, after they learned all the awful of what had happened to her in the 'Reach'...?

"... Everything will fine eventually, just give it a bit... and give Frea a little. She'll be alright, even after what's gone on... she just needs time to... work through it... It doesn't make sense, but... she's always... finding some way passed all the bad, no matter how bad it is..."

Freed, Bixlow and Evergreen smiled faintly, catching up with the two blonde's ahead of them and coming up on Frea's opposite shoulder of where Laxus had placed himself. Frea cast them a glance, smiling a little when she caught their eyes and their hearts fluttered a bit. She looked tired still, and worn out- naturally so- but there was less heavy and suffocating unease shrouding her. The shadow of all the awful things she'd been through here in Adgnei, and then everything before- that shadow had dimmed a bit. It wasn't gone all the way, there was no way it could be that quickly, she needed more time and they understood that... but still, the shadow had lessened in it's near pitch black hue, and was wavering under some... small, tiny light they couldn't have imagined they'd see at all, least of all that quickly.

Frea needed time, everybody would- but Laxus had been right. He just seemed... to know her so well, and maybe a lot better than the whole of the Thunder Legion even realized.

"... she keeps on being... bright... always... even when it doesn't make sense...... That's just... who she is..."

---

Hello!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, big sad, hard night for poor Frea ;w;

But Fraxus time! XD

I know I said this the last few chapters, but FOR SURE the next chapter is gonna wrap up the Adgnei arc and thne we will be moving on to other adventures afterward! So stay tuned for that!

And as always, thank you guys so much for sticking with me so long! I appreciate every single one of you readers, and your support all these years has meant so much more than you can fathom! I love you all so very much! qwq

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