IN MEMORIAM

Kyuuma Ginji
Tatta Koudai
Arakida Ichika
Samura Takatora
Kujou Asahi
Terumii Hibiki
Kanou Mira
Karube Daikichi
Segawa Chouta
…

"Exactly six months after the catastrophe, most of Japan and especially Tokyo still struggles with rebuilding both the city and economy. Not only have the suicide rates increased noticeably, but a majority of Tokyo's population still feels helpless and aimless towards their future. With over 2000 confirmed casualties and hundreds still missing, hope is still few and far between. How long will it take to…"

The newsreader's voice fades into the other sounds around her. It's the same message day after day. With each rising sun, more corpses are found under the majority of Tokyo's buildings still in ruins. Half a year already, and it feels like reparations have not made any progress at all.

Half a year since Sina's heart, like hundreds of others, has stopped beating for an entire minute while a huge comet was crashing down on Tokyo. She stares at her hands cupping the Latte in front of her. The scars around her wrists have fully healed and will vanish more with every year passing, and the same goes for the other scars she carries.

Although no doctor has been able to explain where exactly those wounds came from. Most of them assumed that Sina had been carrying metallic bracelets during the catastrophe, and the heat caused the material to burn into her skin…

While she doesn't remember anything about the incident, she knows for sure that she has never owned such bracelets. But what reason is there to argue, when the scars remain nonetheless?

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Sina looks up and blinks a few times until she is able to focus on the person sitting opposite to her. Kuina is wearing a colorful shirt with some superhero printed on it, and her dreadlocks loosely fall over her back. She grins at Sina and stuffs another piece of chocolate cake into her mouth.

Within a few months, Kuina has become Sina's best friend, ever since that moment she first met her in a support group for survivors. And about four or five weeks ago, they both decided to quit that group and meet in their favorite café once a week instead.

"I… I was just wondering what exactly happened on that day… you know."

"Oh, come on, honey." With a half-heartedly annoyed grunt, she reaches for one of Sina's hands and pins it down on the table. "How many times have we talked about that now? What is it – survivor's guilt? Post-apocalyptic depression? Menopause?"

With her other hand, Sina reaches into her pocket and pulls out the tiny note. A nurse gave it to her after she woke up in the hospital, saying that it had been found with her. Sina has no idea why the name of an university is written on it, and she would have dumped it long ago if it hadn't been her own handwriting.

The note has been taped multiple times already, and somehow it feels too important to let go. Something about it…

"Aaaaand you're gone again."

Kuina rips the note out of Sina's hand and examines it with little interest. "You still keep that! Ugh. How many times have you been there already?"

"…two."

Sina was surprised to find out it's a medical university, and a few weeks apart, she has gone there to see if it'd lead her to anything. Both times, she'd spend almost an hour to stroll through the hallways of the university, sit down on the lawn and watch the students around her, but there has been nothing.

"Why do you still keep it?"

"Because…" Sina tries to get back the note, but Kuina holds it up so high she won't reach it, causing her to roll her eyes. "It feels as if something is missing. I know it is important and I should remember, but… it always slips from my grasp!"

"Forget this piece of nonsense here." Kuina crinkles the note between her fingers and drops it into Sina's Latte, watching with a grin while Sina pulls it out and tries to clean it up again. "What you really need is someone to hook up with! We need to get you someone you can date. What do you think?"

She continues to stare at the note. Thanks to the tape, the coffee didn't ruin too much of it, although she knows what is written on it without having to take a look. The symbols have long burnt themselves into her…

A déjà-vu? As her wrists start to tingle, Sina stuffs the note back into her pocket and scratches the scarred skin. "All good things come by threes. I'll go there, just one more time…"

Kuina huffs into her Frappe. "Fine. But promise me you'll throw it away afterwards and go on a double-date with me."

"A double-date? You have someone in mind already?"

"For me? You bet! For you? Not yet." The grin on her face is catching, and Sina shakes her head at Kuina's joy over this unintended rhyme.

"Who is it? Tell me about them!"

Kuina hums and pays a bit more attention to her cake before she answers. "Oh, you know… she works in forensics. Pretty tough stuff, dead bodies and all that. Crime victims mostly if I remember righ- hey! Are you trying to change the subject? Promise to me, now!"

"Sure, sure. I promise." Sina raises her hands in defeat and listens to her friend's victorious laughter. Maybe the time really has come to leave this note behind and start to live again.

Delicate white flakes cover the street as Sina steps out of the underground station. It's the first snow of the year, and it transforms the ruins and destroyed buildings into a mysterious snowy landscape. Clouds form themselves in front of her face whenever she breathes out, and she tucks her hands deep into the pockets of her mantle to keep them warm.

People barely recognize the traces left by the chaos anymore, and even Sina has become used to the sight of it. Almost everyone, including her, has lost at least one dear person to the catastrophe, if not more. And still life goes on somehow – people return to work, find new friends, new lovers, new families.

The university is not far from the station, although the lawn is mostly empty now. Sina's feet leave traces in the fresh snow, and while it feels wrong on one hand to interrupt the immaculate structure, she likes to leave a trace. The next person taking this path will see them and will know that someone has been there. They will never know her name, never recognize her face, but in some way, those traces will still leave an impact. Maybe only a single thought that doesn't last longer than a second, but an impact nonetheless.

Inside the building she is greeted by warm air. Coming here the first time, Sina had thought that she'd stand out from all those smart medicine students, but it turned out most of them seem to be normal humans like everyone else. None of them stares at her like she doesn't belong here; most of them simply mind their own business today as well.

And like the last times, Sina doesn't know where to search. It's hard when she doesn't know what exactly she is searching for, if it's a place or a person or whatever. Within the next hour, she strolls around the most common sections – examines the books in the library, marvels at some pretty good anatomic drawings and watches the people entering and leaving the cafeteria, but there is no sign. No shining light or angel's choir telling her she's finally found it, no forgotten friend showing up again.

But after that hour, Sina decides to give up. Whatever it is, it hasn't been there the last two times and it won't be there today. Giving up feels so wrong and it hurts, but what is she supposed to do?

At least she could grab a coffee for the way back to the station, so she sighs and returns to the entrance hall where she has seen a coffee vending machine. Sina rummages through her pocket and searches for some coins and already lifts her hand to insert them when she catches sight of the huge yellow sign claiming that the machine is "out of order".

"So much for the coffee."

Uttering a curse under her breath, she stuffs the coins back to the note inside her pocket. Maybe she can grab something to drink at the station…

"Oh, you don't know it yet?" an unfamiliar voice speaks up right behind her, and Sina turns around to face a guy in his mid-twenties, with messy hair, huge glasses and a joke on his sweater that can only be understood by med students. "This machine has been broken for over two weeks now… can't believe they still didn't manage to fix it!"

This one definitely is no one of the "normal-looking" students in the university, but he seems to be nice. "You can go to the hospital, if you still want one. Don't even have to leave the building – just down the hallway, see? Through the sliding door and then left, no way you'd miss it."

He points you towards the right direction, and as Sina follows his finger, she can also see a sign hanging from the ceiling that confirms his hint. How practical to connect university and workplace like this.

"Thank you." She manages to smile at him and turns towards the hallway. Hospitals don't really count as her favorite place, but if it's just to grab a coffee, it will be fine. The door opens with a feint hiss and Sina steps through, immediately covered in the smell of disinfectant and… well, doctors.

The guy was right after all, since she spots the box-shaped apparatus not far from her down the hallway to her left. It is the same type like in the university, but this one is working at least. Sina pulls out the coins again and the note with it, and as she waits for the coffee to be ready, she stares at the small piece of paper. Wrinkles and fissures show how long she has been carrying it with her, and now it's even stained brown from the Latte.

There is no use in chasing ghosts, and this one won't make itself visible to her. Sina drops it into the bin next to the machine and takes the steaming plastic cup. The smell alone is enough to assume that it will taste terribly; not that she expected much else from such a place.

She wants to head back to the station when something in the bin catches her attention. It would have been easy to miss it if Sina hadn't thrown away the note, but now that she sees it, she can't just walk away. Carefully fishing it out of the garbage, Sina uses her thumb to smooth it inside the palm of her hand.

It is another note, similar to hers. Only that this one… has her name written on it. How peculiar!

This could have been a coincidence for sure, since Sina doubts to have a unique name within billions of other people, but the last line curls up into a tiny heart. A childish gesture she loved to do when she was younger, and she doesn't even remember the last time she told somebody.

How…

Sina slowly turns around, still completely focused on the note, which causes her to bump heavily into another person. Hot coffee spills over her wrist, and suppressing a curse, she quickly swaps the cup into the other hand and wipes the burning skin on her mantle. "Hot, hot, hot! Ouch!"

"Can I help you?"

She doesn't have to look up to know what kind of expression she'll see. It's the sort of voice offering to help her while they wish for nothing more than her leaving as quickly as possible. "No, thank you. I'm fine. I-"

As she lifts her eyes and faces the man standing in front of her, Sina breaks off in mid-sentence. Dark brown orbs seem to stare directly into her soul, and his face is framed by shoulder-length blonde hair, most likely bleached. He doesn't look like a doctor, and Sina assumes he's one of the med students absolving some practical work here.

He doesn't seem too special, and yet… there is something about him, making it impossible for her to avert her eyes. Something familiar. "Have… have we met before?"

"This is a hospital. I see hundreds of patients every day." It is said with a sigh, and Sina wants to break loose from his gaze, but at the same time something keeps her bound to those eyes.

She has to clear her throat before she manages to speak. "Well, I… I have never been here except today."

He shrugs, and Sina has a feeling that this weird conversation is over now – almost. "Whatever. You better not dig through waste, especially not inside a hospital. I should not have to explain to you why."

It takes a mere second for her face to turn dark crimson, and Sina takes a sip of coffee to hide the embarrassment, only to twist her mouth at the terrible taste. "Of course not. It's just… I saw my name written on that note. Which probably sounds even more stupid, but… ah, never mind."

"Your name. Is that so." The sound of his voice causes her to look up again, and he is suddenly watching her with renewed interest. Does he know anything about the note, maybe who wrote it in the first place?

Now that he examines her so closely, Sina has no other choice but to do the same. It turns out that he is quite handsome, in his own distinct way, with that peculiar hairstyle and the eyes that seem to read the deepest parts of her soul. And his lips are curled into a smirk, condescending and maybe even arrogant, but she somehow doesn't feel averse to it.

Could it be that Kuina has been right, and Sina could really use to meet some new people to fill the void inside of her?

"Hey, uhm… would you like to meet for a coffee, maybe tomorrow?"

He doesn't answer and instead raises a brow as he watches her. Maybe he isn't the right one to ask after all. Sina blows into the black liquid that doesn't deserve to be called coffee and attempts to throw the note back into the bin. "Forget about that."

A hand quickly emerges from the white coat and catches the note mid-air. "I don't drink coffee."

Doesn't make it better. And yet he still won't stop to look at her. Why can't she get rid of the feeling that she has seen him before? And what reason would he have to keep the piece of paper if it has been thrown away before Sina found it?

"But-," the hint of arrogance disappears and leaves a smirk that actually seems to be nice, "the teahouse down the road offers a great choice of cheesecakes."

Sina blinks, momentarily confused if this is a yes or no to her question. "So… teahouse down the road, tomorrow at three?"

"Tomorrow at three."

He smiles and lifts his hand up for a wave, the note almost hidden behind the grasp of his thumb against the palm, and then he turns around, most likely to head back to work. Still unable to move, Sina stares at his back, and her brain doesn't seem capable of processing what has just happened.

She realizes that she didn't even ask for his name, but she can do that tomorrow for sure. Something tells her he will be there, and Sina is already looking forward to it. Kuina will be glad that she is finally leaving that note behind, and she has a feeling that it won't be important anymore.

Who is he? Why does he seem so fascinating to her?

And why does Sina feel so gravitated towards a guy she has just met?

She would remember those eyes if she had seen them before. Yet something inside of her tells her that she has indeed seen them – just when? And where?

Right before he heads towards a patient's room, he stops for a moment and throws a look over his shoulder – smiling towards her. It's enough to awaken a whole army of butterflies inside Sina's stomach, causing her to smile back.

As if he has waited for her to do that, he nods barely noticeable and disappears inside the room without dropping his smirk.

And all of a sudden, the coffee doesn't taste as bitter anymore.

[THE END]