Chaotic belongs to TCDigital.

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So, it's been over a year now...

Yup.

One reader seems to be afraid this virus got me.

Yup.

I shouldn't have let this fall apart.

We shouldn't have. We're all in this together, right?

Yeah.

Alright. I just need to pick up from where I left off.

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Longing

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My nerves are crackling by the time I reach the ground floor of Mount Pillar. My senses are on high alert, catching every sight, sound, scent. I can feel my growing paranoia convince me that Elco is onto me, that he is steps behind me.

Tanto and the others are ahead. I slow down, can't have questions about why I'm out of breath. I force myself to take slow, deep breaths.

The air has a smell, a taste mixed into it that draws my attention. What was that? I slow down more, focusing on the scent, my antennae reaching out to decipher the combination. The expected smells, exhaustion from a long day of working, nervous Humans, outraged Danians, food in packages, barrels of water, lust being acted on- and there's the scent I didn't expect, wafting in from that direction. An UnderWorlder. One in particular, Atrapol.

This is confusing. Atrapol should have passed through a couple days ago. What's changed? I turn to follow his scent as I puzzle it out. What's different this lifetime from previous ones? Ugh, this body is too young, too isolated for my brain to have anything useful to puzzle out the difference.

I spot Atrapol sitting at a resting station. Back turned to me, but definitely his scent. He doesn't have his helmet or gauntlets on. There's a creature seated across from him. A Human. The source of Atrapol's delay? Maybe. I dip into a group on mandiblors headed for the gate to avoid the crowd and get closer.

I'm close enough to hear the pair when Atrapol leans closer to the Human. "Oh, there are real slaves as well. Every culture has its scum. Not every Danian treats the people they own with respect. Find someone that will take care of you, or the wrong sort will pluck you like a ripe fruit."

Atrapol plans on leaving that Human here in Mount Pillar. That gives me an idea, actually. I leave the group and head for the table.

"Noted. So, ah, about the gay couple back-"

The Human stops speaking as he notices me. He pales, then goes slightly red. Atrapol turns to look at me as well.

I'm struck with a wave of doubt. Why is Atrapol here with a Human? Does Atrapol even remember? He's never not remembered before, and this lifetime is one where he'd be helping Michael... To hide my worry, I stick the honey stick I'm holding into my mouth again. I'd almost forgotten I'd been carrying it.

Atrapol turns back to the Human. "What was your question?"

The Human's eyes dart to Atrapol, then back to me. The red in his cheeks has gotten brighter. "Maybe not in front of the kid?"

A whiff of the Human's scent tells me a lot. Fear or anxiety, expected for a Human this fresh into Perim. Under that, arousal and disgust? Directed at Atrapol. Lust toward Atrapol, disgust at himself. Ashamed of how he feels.

...I'm feeling petty. Meeting Elco made me feel small, I need a pick-me-up.

I take the honey stick out of my mouth and ask as innocently as I can, "Are you talking about sex?"

The Human's arms seize a little, pulling in close to his sides, and his face flushes more. "Ah, no, we-"

I continue, "There's sex for making babies, and sex for having fun. You're older than me, right? It's weird that you don't know this."

The Human blinks, then looks at Atrapol. "Uh..."

Atrapol has a faint grin on his face. He turns in his seat to face me more, in the process bringing a hand to his face and sliding a finger down his nose. A signal. I remember. He then places his hands on his knees and leans forward a little. "Can you help my friend here with his questions, too?"

It's like a weight was lifted from my back. "Sure!" I subtly return the sign before turning to the Human. "So, the queen lays all the eggs, and eggs need to be fertilized, right? Well, every once in a while all the nobles, sometimes some other males too, all get together with the queen, and the males stick their penises in the queen. The queen stores the semen so that she can fertilize the eggs she lays."

The Human is now an incredible shade of red. The scent of raw embarrassment is radiating from his body. "I, uh-"

This is too fun, I can't help but twist the knife a little more. "Now, having sex is also fun and feels good. When two Danians who are old enough like each other a lot, they can play with each other's penises or put them inside each other. But only if both are okay with it. It's bad to have sex with someone who doesn't want to." Then, as if I didn't just give The Talk to a Human several times my age, I turn to Atrapol and hold out my honey stick. "Want some?"

The Human shakes first his head, then his entire body, in one heck of a shudder. "Um, thank you. I, uh, already knew about... why do you know?"

Atrapol, meanwhile, is laughing uproariously. "No, thank you," he says, then turns to the Human. "It's not taboo for Danians. No shame, no stigma."

The Human looks agast. "And no problem letting a..." He pauses, the looks at me. "How old are you?"

I puff out my chest in false pride. "I turn nine solans old really soon." To Atrapol, I add, "Want some?"

Atrapol shakes his head, still smiling. "No, thank you."

The Human raises an eyebrow, then sighs. "Right. And I'm guessing that I'll run into it pretty much everywhere, then?"

Teasing the Human is hilarious. I want to keep him. "Not if they're buying or selling sex. That's only for certain tunnels, to stay out of the way of people trying to get somewhere in a hurry. Want some?" I say the last part to Atrapol.

"Sure," he replies, and I give him a piece of the honey stick, which he puts into his mouth.

The Human's eyes are wide. "Hold on, I thought you didn't want any."

I sing, "Never accept a gift the first time it's offered," then start sucking on the candy again.

Atrapol shifts the chunk in his mouth a little before saying, "It's rude to accept a gift without denying it twice. The little guy can probably explain better than I can."

A voice nearby. Tanto's. "There you are!" He had to notice my absence sometime sooner or later.

I turn and wave cheerily. "Baba! I made friends, Baba! That's my baba. Hey, Baba, can we keep him?"

Tanto rushes up to me, his antennae vibrating as he smells me for any injuries. "Do not wander off again like that! I was worried!" He looks at the table of people for a moment. "My apologies, I took my eyes off of him for just a moment, and-"

Atrapol shakes his head with a smile and gives a dismissive wave. "It was no trouble, really. Your bibi was simply explaining how things work in Mount Pillar to Nicolas."

The Human's name is Nicolas. Noted.

I look up at Tanto, into his eyes. I reach out into the hivecall and touch him through it. "Talk to the Human, please? He's funny, I want to keep him."

Tanto's concerned eyes soften as I shift his attention from myself to the Human. "O-of course." He shakes the subtle confusion from his head and speaks to the Human. "Nicolas, was it? I am Tanto. My little bibi seems to have taken a shine to you. Perhaps we can talk about selling yourself as a playmate for him?"

"I- wait." He and glances briefly at me. "Hold on, can we just talk first?"

Tanto reaches out and pulls the Human to his feet. "Come, I'll buy you a drink while we talk."

"Uh, sure." The Human pinches his eyebrows together. "Wait, um, I mean, no, thank you?"

"I insist," my baba says with a smile as he leads the Human away.

I turn to speak to Atrapol, but he beats me to it. "How many times have you given your babas that little mental nudge these past few days?" His expression is dark and disapproving.

"They keep treating me like a little kid." The anger I feel is mixed with relief that I can finally talk to someone normally for once.

"But you are a little kid."

Did he just?! "Oh, don't you start." I start chewing on my honey stick to calm my nerves. "So, what's the news with Michael?" Need to change the topic to something useful.

Atrapol make a weird noise with his throat. "Not good. Ulmar's doing behavioral experiments on him."

I stop chewing. "Fuck."

"Yup."

A thought occurs. "So, what gave me away? I was about to drop the signal when you beat me to it."

Atrapol grins a slightly yellow smile at me. "You used contractions. Plus, I've known you for, what, two thousand solans now? It's getting easy to pick you out of the crowd, even if all you Danians look the same."

"That's racist," I tease.

Atrapol grins wider. "Suck a dick."

I can feel my entire body tense, my eyes drop from Atrapol's face to his waist. "Is that an offer?" my mouth says before I can stop myself.

Confusion flits across Atrapol's face, then realization. "No, it's not. Wait until you hit puberty again." He closes his eyes and rubs them with one hand. "Sorry, I'm stressed out."

Of course he's not. I'm a child right now, no matter how much my mind says otherwise. A child. Fury rises in my chest again. A stupid reset, a new timeline, and now I'm going to have to wait all over again. It's not fair! I was an adult! Just weeks ago, Atrapol and I were naked under Perim's sunset, him writhing and clawing at the grass around him, me sucking down his dark flesh and dragging my hands down the thick skin of his chest and stomach, one of his blood-brothers rutting me from behind like a beast-

"Oh." Atrapol is here alone. Without them. "He knows?" Van Bloot.

Atrapol's eyes tell me he understands my meaning. "Yup."

"That's awful." The words aren't even close to strong enough.

"Yup."

Speaking of people who know... "It gets worse."

Atrapol's brow furrows. "Oh, He knows, too?"

"Yup."

"Fuck."

"Yup." At least we still have this. Able to hold a full conversation in only a few simple words.

After some silence, Atrapol stands. "I should leave. Thank you for taking Nicolas off my hands."

I hold my hand out. "I'll see you around, Atrapol."

He takes it. "You too, Piabo."

I watch Atrapol pick up his helmet and put it, on, then turn and walk away, vanishing into the sea of people in Mount Pillar. Then I turn to join Nicolas and my baba-

Pop, pop, pop.

That would be my joints. Fuck.

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More than a year gone and we're leaving them on a cliffhanger?

Yup.

Proof that you are evil.

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Chaotic belongs to TCDigital.