To all ships - The Jehovah have turned on us. The allies send by our enemy were also our enemy, what a surprise. Literally the thing we expected to happen happened.

Admiral Graf Spee - Eugen is lying. Your definition of "Fisting" and the world's definition do not align. - Even if she encourages it. take off the rigging - Especially after she told you what it really meant!

Admiral Hipper - "It's not like I committed a warcrime or anything" does not exempt you from punishment.

Ajax - Roon is not to be "punished" by your standards. You still have a meat cleaver sticking out of your shoulder.

Albacore - For nailing down Eldritch to the fence in an attempt to make the fence static, you will be punished. Although thank you for helping increase our defensive capabilities.

Akagi - I will not tolerate your jealousy issues for much longer. I do not care that I said Bismarck's name 7 more times than yours yesterday. - I also don't care that you feel the need to make it up to me by writing what I can only describe as porn fiction. I'm this close to just burning everything with your name on it.

Akashi - You will not transform any heavy cruisers into a war-theme waterpark from this point on.

Ark Royal - Just because she looks young and adorable doesn't mean you should treat Albacore the same way you treat other young girls. I'd like to make it known to you that your entire room is now coated in lube.

Atago - Stop discussing what the protentional children of shipgirls look like. Especially when those children's father is supposed to resemble yourself.

Avrora - We are not going to make "Jehovah soup." - I cannot even trust you people without written rules on cannibalism.

Ayanami - Over my dead body will you be allowed to enter the kitchen fridge for "research purposes."

Belfast - You're already married. Your hopes for a shotgun wedding will have to move on.

Bismarck - You should not force your subordinates to wear magical girl costumes and make them "Transform" during battle. - Fine, I will admit that the five of you cinematically morphing into battle armor was impressive. Now stop it.

Bremerton - The counsel sessions stop now. Purifier does not need a "best friend" if you dear your life.

Chapayev - That SIREN has five hands. Handcuffs will not work on her.

Cleveland - Stop taking lessons on seduction from Zuikaku.

Deutschland - The royal maids are not piñata's. Even if Belfast allows it.

Eldritch - I'm sorry about the fence thing. But hey, at least you technically helped with the incapacitation against some of the Jehovahs.

Enterprise 1 - The majority of the base are starting to question what you and Belfast are even doing under the bed at night. Belfast's screams were so loud that we couldn't even hear the warning siren go off during the enemy attack. I don't know what you have inside that room of yours, but get rid of it. For the love of god and your wife.

Enterprise 2 - When Belfast will inevitably ask you to marry her in a triparte American country wedding, you are to refuse. - Your feelings on it don't matter! Did I stutter?!

Friedrich Der Große - When Victorious pushes her smaller counterpart off to you for "Baby-sitting," refuse her. - Yes, even if you're okay with it.

Formidable - We do not need an biography of my live. You're annoying me.

Fuzzball - We do not need an biography of purifier's live. You're terrifying me.

Grozny - Generally, when someone greets another in the morning, we say "Good morning." We do not groggily slur out "What the hell did I do last night?"

Graf zeppelin - Stop flirting with the women in my base. Romantic relations does not give you diplomatic immunity.

Gascogne - Please keep in mind that a fleet has cannons for a reason.

Hammann - Showing affection does not require torpedoes.

Illustrious - When told to "remove the bombs," we are not referring to your chest.

Javelin - Please stop sending nuclear launch codes to 4chan.

Jean Barte - High command is almost afraid to ask you what you are planning to do with that shipment eye-patches.

Kaga - You are not to attempt killing all of the jehovah witnesses on your own. We suspect them to own nukes. Please leave them to the rat stealth vanguard.

Kitakaze - "Rock, paper, nuke" is not a fair way to win arguments.

Laffey - Your stall selling explosive birds and giant slingshots must be removed. Graf Zeppelin has filed trademark.

North Carolina - It'll be breeding season soon. Thus, if you do not remove those bunnies within base grounds soon, I will be forced to purge every non-tamed animal within this base. - Those things can multiply.

Observer α- No one needs to hear your plans for world conquest. Least of all Graf Zeppelin.

Prinz Eugen - The next time you try to attend a poetry club meeting, you will be restrained. Also, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, drop your panties" Does not rhyme.

Purifier - We're missing nukes. I don't want to prejudice, but if it wasn't you then we're in serious trouble.

Roon - Any limbs recently removed are to be returned to their owners immediately!

Seattle - I'm glad you enjoyed Akashi's makeover, but the water park will have to go.

Sheffield - It has come to my attention that inside your room you manage ownership of handguns, snipers, flamethrowers and missiles. A hobby is a hobby, but a gun is also a gun, and shipgirls are biologically insane. Get rid of them.

Shōkaku - Reverse psychology is not to be used on Kaga. Ever.

Taihō - Just one more attempt at my "manlyhood," and I'll consider getting a castration for my own safety.

Takao 2 - "Kill me" is a figure of speech. It does not mean you should jump onto them and start choking them to death. - Okay, so Atago may have intentionally wished for you to do so, but that doesn't mean you should.

Tester β- "Go to hell" is not a figure of speech meant to be taken seriously. Please stop your attempts to take over hell and apologize to Satan for stomping his backyard.

U-101 - Do not feed destroyers to your rigging and blame their disappearance on the SIREN. - I heard Bismarck is looking for you. Should I prepare a letter of resignation, or a funeral?

Unicorn - Any attempts to start a wrestling club will seize. I need my subordinates alive. Find a new hobby.

Vestal - Please only work on one project at a time. Accidently adding parts meant for the zombification machine to the medical ray is not as amusing as you made it seem. - Lets deal with the current situation first, and then go to the matter of why you decided to create a zombification machine after.

Warspite - It's good to see that you're trying new hobbies, but with the recent shenanigans involving animal pets inside this base, the corgi's will have to go. All corgi's will from this point on be removed from base grounds. - No! Not you! Get back here!

Queen Elizabeth - Please learn the differences between a monarchy and a dictatorship.

Z23 - You may not use gladiatorial combat to sacrifice the defeated in my name.

Zuikaku - Congratulations. You managed to create an harem against all odds, and beat Enterprise 1's score with the ladies. Now just admit that you were faking interest and set things straight before we get another yandere-crisis.

Operative missive

Admiral William - Nukes do not impair us. We are working absolutely A-O-K! Please don't send more world-class destroying shipgirls this way. I'm already with my hands tied here.

Research Pacific - What a shame. I recently learned that the device is actually unable to combat Low-grade coffee and office pens. But if you're out of those, nothing we can do about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

General Sternz - Are you sure it was Eugen making use of their service and not actively giving them service? - I can confirm that Atago has recently been in possession of 6 new euh- "Professionals." I'd send them back to their homes, but I can't find my camera at the moment and I only get so many opportunities.

Derrickfoo0 - I take it that the magical enchanted broadsword, shapeshifting robot and bouncy-balls were send by you? Seriously, what is it that you people do to uncover these kinds of things? Why do we even fund you at all?! - No thanks to turning me into a cyborg, although the blue-prints of my body are surprisingly detailed. I am both impressed and terrified by how accurate your design seems to be. Exactly how did you uncover the exact measurements of my toes?

The Janitor - Why did I find a random piece of driftwood detailing the funeral service of a "Squeaky commander?" And why is Enterprise 2 acting like she's covering up a rescue signal?

Chief general Bllywilly - One does not simply enjoy the destruction created from Jehovah witnesses.

The Shadow of Zama - Fine, I'll take you into custody. Gimme those pills. - Illustrious seems surprisingly invested into your research for some reason. She even asked me if you were going to make more pills. Should I send her over to you?

Chaotic - It's treason then...

Local pyromaniac - Stop stealing my popcorn. I'm tired of having to chase bunnies out off my kitchen.

Heliosskrill - How else am I supposed to punish them? Detention?

Alfamega-20000 - Dr. Bright's list? I mean, I wouldn't want to inspire my subordinates any more than I have to...

Cemalidor - Do not underestimate the power of a drunk shipgirl...

Francis - CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP MAKING MORE CHILD SHIPGIRLS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?!

Tomozaki Zenteru - I appreciate the pills, but nothing has worked better so far than hammering myself with whiskey. - Oh, you meant when I wanted to use them on others... Pffffff. Why would I EVER want to do that?!

WarCorgi - That prank is way to lighthearted. This is Azur lane, sir. There's a nuke in each of their dorm rooms already!

Joshua Olejasz - Sorry. At this point I just identify my subordinates by how much they're a threat to me.

Lonerider - I just received a report which casually advised me to invest into space-ports. This is a first for me.

Reinkasahi - Did you just... steal someone else's fingers?

PlayerUltima - Affirmative. For some reason, the volatile pitcher won't fire anything else other than birds and the shipgirls themselves.

TheMiddleMan - You own Akashi's shop? Really?! So you could stop making this game pay-2-win?!

Shadow Onyx - I meant boost morale, not destroy the port. -

TouhouFanatic - Why are all my subordinates complaining about groin pains? And why did my chest expend? H-have you found your genderswap thingy yet?!

Some Guy - When any of the shipgirls invite you to a peaceful family game, expect a death-case scenario.

My brand new laptop fried 3 times this week. Had to rewrite this stuff 2 damn times. What I don't for a hobby...