So this is what death feels like? It's not terrible, just incredibly long.

Dehydration had long set in, so much so that even Pan's eyes were dry.

Jones was refusing to give him food and water until he "revealed what he knew."

Pan would, of course, tell him to fuck himself. Nevermind that he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

Maybe it was journalistic instincts or his own, but Pan wanted to know what Jones was going on about, why he thought kidnapping him would give him what he wanted.

He had been waiting for the man to finally spill, but Jones seemed to be as clever as he was.

Pan would die a slow painful death with an unknown secret. He could only hope it tore Jones to pieces.

But it was harder for him to focus on disemboweling Jones when his own demise were front and center.

It was odd how unafraid he was. Annoyed and pained, yes, but not necessarily scared.

He remembered wanting to die on plenty of occasions: when he was a snot-nosed little punk in Scotland and his father used to wail on him, when he found out Belle was in love with his fucking brother of all people. When he'd be on a high after writing an amazing story that ruined someone's life. Even in between the better moments of his life, when he was investigating with Felix or having drinks with Tink and Lily, when he just couldn't find peace.

When he was with Wendy and he felt so grounded he couldn't take it.

Shit. He swore he wouldn't think about her. Wouldn't think about any of the people he gave a shit about.

Yeah, now that he was on death's door, he could finally admit to himself that he kind of gave a shit about something.

His pride and his ambition had stood in the way for so long, he had plenty of time to realize when those walls had come down.

Wendy fucking Darling.

She'd gotten under his skin, into his veins. He'd become desperate for her presence, for her validation.

For her smile.

"She's really beautiful you know," Jones had gloated to him last night as he drunk from that damned flask of his. "Really something. I might just get a taste of her myself."

A weak snarl was all Pan was able to muster, but his brain was burning with all the things he was going to do to him the second he had these fucking cuffs off.

Maybe that's part of the reason he was still hanging on. He wanted Jones's blood to soak his lips, give him the hydration he had denied him for days now.

Or maybe he truly had gone soft and he wanted to see her and everyone else again.

All the people who hated him and cared for him…he was going to be lost to them now.

It was true then: Peter Pan didn't want to die. He didn't want to be forgotten about.

And he wanted to see her again.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"What are we doing?" Wendy laughed as Killian drug her up the boat.

Jones hid his smile well. "You shall soon see, Miss Darling."

Wendy shrugged and followed, charmed that he still referred her to something so gentle. He'd been courting her for three days now, and each time they were together she found herself a bit more star struck.

Killian was so far advanced in the world than she. He had seen things, been places she'd only seen on maps, lived as a person she was far from being.

But Wendy ate up his stories, usually told over brunch or a nice picnic.

Tonight however would be the first time they'd have dinner, and have it on his vast ship she'd been admiring from the dock for some time now.

She was grateful for his company just as much as she was for the distraction from her current dilemmas.

Pan still had yet to return or make his location known. They were both set to return to the Mirror in a few days with their suspension ending, and she only hoped he thought to come back by then.

She could honestly care less at this point, she had decided, squashing the guilt she felt. Pan had made his decision, had chosen to push her so far away he could never find her again. She wouldn't be the one to try to make amends if he returned.

The "if" part was what was keeping her from falling asleep at night. If he'd been more ceremonial in his departure, she might be more relaxed. But he just vanished. No note, no hints. Not even a plan for his cat. He pretty much left the poor thing to starve.

Wendy still checked in on the creature, but had slowly made the transition to her own apartment. Sometimes at night, when she was getting out of the tub or combing her hair, she'd look down her window at his building and spare the thought that he was coming back soon.

But it was just a flutter of a thought, and she would return to the present. Story ideas for when she returned to work, making peace with Tink, and Jones.

Wendy would be the first to admit she was naïve when it came to dating. Her first and only beau, Edward, had been more boring than a sack of flour and their breakup had been a celebration for her.

What she had with Pan was more of a fight to the death speckled with quick moments of peace. It was stimulating but painful all at once.

Whatever she was building with Jones excited her. It wasn't the back and forth screaming match she had with Pan. It was tamer, and felt unabashedly like romance.

"You know, the last time my view was obstructed I solved a nearly decade's old mystery in this town," Wendy deadpanned as she felt a railing under her hand. They were going up something. And they were on the docks judging by the scent of salt in the air.

Killian's chuckle rumbled through her back. "I've heard a great many about your adventures in town. You'll have to tell me all about them."

Wendy felt around until she found his hand, and he paused.

"I haven't finished learning about you," Wendy pointed out, her heart speeding up.

She felt Killian's warm breath on the edge of her ear. "I have to keep some of my secrets, love."

Wendy swallowed hard. Damn. Now it was more than the darkness that made her heart swell.

Thankfully though, that part soon passed and Killian removed the blindfold.

Her eyes adjusted quickly to the setting sun, and then the sight before her made her gasp.

A well-set table decorated the deck of Killian's ship, complete with a bucket of ice and what looked like champagne.

She could smell garlic in the air, not doubt encased in whatever was under the metal dishes on the table.

Killian had passed her and began lighting the elongated candles on the table.

"What is all this?" Wendy laughed.

"An anniversary dinner of sorts," Jones winked.

"We've barely been acquainted a full week," Wendy pointed out, following him when he motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs that he had pulled out.

"Then we have something to celebrate,"

Wendy watched him, amused as he popped open the champagne and poured them each a glass. He raised his, tipping it towards her.

"To five days of a beautiful relationship,"

Wendy scoffed. She could toast to that, and she did, tapping her glass to his.

She took a slow sip of the bubbly drink, stilling her flinch at the strong alcohol. She'd never had anything stronger than a glass of wine at her college graduation and she knew her tolerance would be very low.

He drained his glass quickly but made no attempt to refill his or hers.

"And now," he bowed, lifting the lid off their plates.

Wendy witnessed a well-crafted dish of crispy fish surrounded by colorful vegetables in a sort of white broth.

She glanced up at Killian and noticed the slight hesitation in his eyes.

Oh my gods, she thought, he's nervous about his food!

Wendy picked up her fork, getting a bite of everything on the utensil. The vegetables were a bit salty for her preference, but the fish melted on her tongue.

She chuckled. Of course someone who lived on a ship would know how to cook a good fish.

She smiled as to ease Killian's mind.

"Delicious."

He glowed at the compliment and comfortably began to eat his own dish.

Wendy continued to examine him, wishing more than anything that she could figure out his game. Jones didn't make her uncomfortable, not really, but he did make her question his motive and his interest in her.

"You're quite distracted for someone eating some of the highest quality crawfish on this side of Maine," Jones joked when he noticed her inquisitive expression.

He'd been taking small circles around her, disguising his intentions. Tonight was the final test, one last go before he decided—not if—but how he would eliminate her.

He was starting to doubt that she knew anything at all.

"I was just thinking about you," Wendy said boldly.

Jones stopped chewing, the slightest tension curling his fingers.

"Aye?" he said, keeping his demeanor.

"I was thinking of me as well," she admitted. "How I know so little of you yet came onto your ship—lovely craftsmenship, by the way."

"Thank you," he nodded, easing a bit. Wendy was young, and hopefully easily distractible.

"I feel like I should be afraid of you," she continued, not feeling the least bit foolish about the reveal of such a personal thought. She'd fought off maniacs and barely escaped with her life; she wasn't afraid to admit if she was scared or not.

"Why?"

"Because I don't know you, and for all I know you poisoned the very food I just ate, or you plan on knocking me cold and dumping me into the harbor."

One out of two, not bad, he thought.

Still, he to keep the game going, had to pull her out of that state of uneasiness if he wanted to win.

"Allow me to put you more at ease," he offered. He stood and made his way across the deck where he had set up an old vinyl player.

Wendy gasped when he turned on a gentle tune, looking up at him with stars in her eyes when he came back to her and held out his hand.

"Care for a dance, Miss Darling?"

Wendy's stomach twisted, the memory of Pan twirling her around the club downtown causing a periscope of emotions to crash over her.

She took Jones's hand and squeezed it, praying the memory would leave her.

As Jones guided her down the deck and positioned his hands like a true gentlemen, she decided she could leave it indeed.

"Now," he said as they moved. "Allow me to ease your mind. Ask me a question, anything you like, but I want to ask you one in return."

"I'm a journalist, Mr. Jones, I'm fairly good at asking questions."

"Then make them count," he grinned.

She accepted his challenge, licking her lips as she laid out in her mind exactly what she wanted to know.

"Do you live on this ship?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Now it's my turn."

"Hey now," she chastised.

Jones chuckled. She really was a delight.

"It was an antique I restored for one of my clients," he said. She didn't need to know that said client had been disemboweled by him on the very deck they were dancing on.

"He practically gave it to me when I finished."

"You're a carpenter then. A traveler as well?"

"One question at a time, Miss Darling,"

"Not a question. More like an observation." she corrected.

He smiled. Witty as well.

"Tell me, how did such a well-established lady like yourself end up in Maine of all places?"

Wendy scoffed, the life she had before Storybrooke seeming so long ago.

"An internship. It was really an excuse to leave home and see a bit of the world, but I decided to try to make it a career. It's been…"

Jones's smile faded when Wendy's tenseness caused them to stop. As if sensing her distress, the vinyl player abruptly stopped its song.

"Are you alright," Jones inquired.

Wendy gulped, memories of that devil woman Cruella and that sick bastard Jekyll crawling through her brain.

"It hasn't been easy being here," she said.

It hasn't been easy being with Pan, she wanted to say.

"That lad, the one who abandoned you" Jones pushed. "Does he have anything to do with that?"

Of course, Jones knew the answer to that, having had said lad in his company for several days now.

"More than you could ever know."

Jones tilted his head. It was really tragic, watching such a vibrant creature fade over such a wretched little creature.

He cupped her cheek and turned her to him, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin.

"Let him go, love," he said. "He's not worth it."

Wendy Darling was innocent, both in spirit and in the crimes he had stacked against her. It didn't stop what he had to do, but he would prefer that her last memories were pleasant.

But Wendy was plagued by the pandemic that was Pan. She told him in her message to him that she had to let him go, there was no room anymore to wait on him.

Yet he was still in her mind. She wanted to let him go, needed to.

She looked into Jones's smiling eyes, this enigma of a man who had wondered into her life. Maybe it was fate's way of telling her to move on, or perhaps just a coincidence.

Either way, she needed his help.

She cupped the hand on her face, keeping him where he was.

He didn't move, perhaps sensing what she wanted to do, needed to do.

She leaned in, leaning up just enough so that their lips touched.

Kissing Killian was like tasting the rarest of liquor: it was addictive, intoxicating, dangerous. Wendy weaved her fingers into his hair, her other hand unsure quite where to venture next.

But Jones did. He led it to his chest, one of his hands cupping her waist with purpose, the other traveling to tangle in her locks.

He felt Wendy tensed under his touch and he pulled back.

"Please, not my hair," she said, ashamed.

He nodded, uncertain and shocked when his heart lurched at her pained expressin. "Do you want to stop?:

Wendy wasn't sure what she wanted to do. Was she really about to go through with this? Have relations with someone she'd only known a few days?

She thought about all the morals that had been lodged into her mind since girlhood. They seemed so faint now, a side effect, she thought, of being in the presence of someone as moralless like Pan.

Truth was she wanted to do it, wanted to fill that emptiness Pan had created in her.

"Where…is there…"

He nodded, knowing her mind and lead her to his sleeping quaters.

He sat her down on his bed, hands twitching by his side while the rest of him remained still.

This had to be her choice. He couldn't continue unless she made the first move.

They stared at each for a moment, their heavy breathing subsiding as Wendy made up her mind.

She reached a hand out, inviting him.

A small smile curled on his lips. He took it and got down on one knew, hands guiding up her smooth knees.

Wendy leaned forward and began to remove his shirt as he lifted his arms up to let her.

The weight of her inexperience began to thrive as she gazed upon his lean, mature form. He had little knicks and scars on his arms and chest, tales of a life he . Just like her.

She felt so small compared to him, so young. She considered calling this whole thing off—she knew he'd respect it.

"Nervous, love?" he inquired.

He intertwined his fingers in the hand that had undressed him.

"Let me lead, Wendy,"

She allowed it. Allowed his hands and lips to seek her out.

He was gentle. He wanted to be.

Wendy wasn't like the other women he'd bedded in the past. She had this air of sophistication he hadn't known before, cutting deeply into the innocence she wore like a torn coat.

But her passion, bless her. She allowed the instinct to take over, to guide her hands and lips to places he wants them to be.

He's struggling to contain himself, his own instinct telling him to conquer, but Wendy doesn't deserve that.

It was part of the game, after all. Seduce the pretty girl woman, kill her and be done with it. One last round of euphoria before he moved on to the next target.

His kisses are heated, biting, but patient – she allows him to remove her clothes, carefully.

He moans when her soft, round lips mouth down his neck, and he wraps his arms around her waist, caressing her bareness possessively, greedily. He soon draws her mouth to his own once more.

"Wendy," he breathes, almost trembling. Her name alone is so delicate.

She looks at him and he is so proud of the fire in her eyes.

"I…" she begins, stopping and laughing nervously.

He couldn't stop his own from breaking free. He picks her up just enough to spread her on his sheets, ready for the next bit.

"Do you trust me?" he asks. It's a line he's used on his targets before as he's reeled them in. The answer's always the same. Of course they do, why wouldn't they?

But something in Wendy's expression changes. There's no hesitation in her eyes, but an unwavering defiance that changes everything.

"No, Killian," she said with a sad smile. "I don't trust you at all."

Indeed, those few words change everything.

When she leans up to kiss him, he doesn't return the gesture right away.

Wendy Darling is indeed not like the other women he's dealt with. She's young, charismatic, and worst of all, far from a fool.

Her hand strokes his jaw, turning him back to her.

"But I still want you," she says, her very being glowing. "Is that alright?"

The man between her legs accepts her in earnest, those predatory eyes fluttered shut as he pressed into her hand.

Oh Wendy, run, he wants to say.

"That it is, love," he says instead, sealing her fate.

Hours later Jones examined her in the fading moon light. The game had stopped. Maybe it had been over the second he asked Wendy her name.

She was breathing so tenderly, so calm despite the fact that she had just slept with someone who had been killing people longer than she'd been alive.

Unperturbed that she and her little friend below were teetering on death's door.

He rose and dressed quietly, slipping the sheet fully around her body, but he didn't kiss her temple despite how he desperately wanted to.

He heads below, pausing to grab a bottle of water, an act that surprises even him.

He makes his way below deck slowly, the form of his captive becoming clearer the closer he gets. Within a moment he make out the lad's deadly glare.

"You fucker," he wheezes.

Jones smirks. "Oh, so you heard?"

Pan lurched forward, thwarted by his shackles but the malice in his eyes didn't die.

"I'll fucking kill you for this!"

Jones chuckled, pulling a barrel forward as he reveled in one-upping the pious lad.

His smirk faded though as he thought of Wendy.

He was due to report back to his contact tomorrow afternoon. He was expected to report two deaths and he hadn't managed to kill off the one before him.

Now as he stared at the glaring youth and his thoughts stayed on the blonde goddess above his head, for the first in his like Killian Jones was having second thoughts…about everything.

"You don't know anything, do you?" Jones tested. Of course Pan didn't respond.

Jones sighed. He couldn't just let him go. He had been noticed by now. Jones heard whispers in the street of his disappearance. He needed to be dealt with now.

Jones uncapped the bottle he brought with him. Pan struggled to keep his eyes from following the sloshing of the water.

His capture held it out to his cracked lips. "Take it."

Pan turned his head. No matter how much he needed it, he wouldn't give in.

Jones growled and grabbed Pan by his hair, forcing his head down. He squeezed the bottle and water spewed all over Pan's face and hair, the lad struggling fruitlessly in his grip as he cough and wheezed.

Jones threw him back, glaring at him as he cursed and shook the water off.

"What the fuck do you want!" Pan yelled.

Jones stood and backhanded him. "Shut up. You'll wake her."

Blood oozed from Pan's right nostril, moistening his lips.

"I'm going to break your fucking neck!"

"I'm afraid you won't get the chance," Jones sighed as he flicked stray water droplets off his hands. "You see, boy, I have to end you soon."

Pan's eyes narrowed.

"Don't fret, I'll be quick, simple. I'll grant you that."

"It's lasted for days," Pan reminded him with a snarl.

Jones shrugged. "As for our lovely Miss Darling …"

Pan paused, dreading the words that would come from his mouth next.

"Tell me," Jones said, his tone sincere. "Do you think she'd dig further if I let her alone? Do you think she'd try to find your murderer once your bloated corpse washes up on shore?"

Pan gritted his teeth. Hearing her passion had disturbed him. He had yet to picture her in such a way, let alone with his damn kidnapper.

Now she was above him more close to death than he was, and he couldn't save her.

And then there was the question of would she try to avenge him.

He hoped not. He truly did.

Jones tilted his head as Pan's mind raced. He almost felt sorry for the boy, having such a lovely creature so close to his closed-off heart.

He stood, his decision made.

"Good night, boy," he sighed, closing the door on his returning remarks.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Wendy's eyes opened, the earliest rays of a new day awakening her.

She hadn't meant to spend the night here, didn't expect she'd be welcome.

Yet her bed partner was sleeping comfortably beside her, one his arms draped loosely on her waist, and she did indeed feel welcomed.

Maybe she could stay here a bit longer and enjoy the smell of sea air and warmth.

But natured called, and she did have to at least check her phone.

Maybe Pan…

No, she wouldn't think about him.

Let him go…

She sighed and regrettably removed herself from Jones's hold, blushing when the sheets scraped her naked skin.

It was hard to believe. She'd been beaten and traumatized but the idea of giving up her womanhood was what was having the most profound effect on her.

She wasn't a virgin anymore. It was the last thing she'd managed to hold on to from before Storybrooke before all its insanity got its hooks into her.

Now, with her short hair and circled eyes, she truly wasn't the same girl who'd left London over two months ago.

She was new, darker.

Pan had given her her start; Jones had pushed her over the edge.

And, despite the morals swimming in her head, she was glad.

She was glad it had been her choice, that it was something she had had complete control of.

She smiled as she put on her underthings and dress, stalling her movements to prevent from making a noise. Perhaps Jones would be interested in hearing her revelation when he awoke?

Perhaps he also wouldn't mind if she searched for substance in his kitchen? That crawfish from last night was long gone.

She located her bag and cellphone and quietly escaped the room, swiping through app notifications that had all but drained her battery.

She stopped in the hallway when she saw she had seven missed calls, three of which were from Tink.

She had a series of missed texts from her as well.

Wendy, please call me.

Wendy, it's important.

I know I hurt you, but please I need you to call me.

Do you know what happened to Pan? Have you see him at all?

Wendy glanced around and found a random door. The room seemed to be an office of sorts, or a collection room judging by all the memorabilia, but quiet enough to make a phone call.

She called Tink, her stomach turning with apprehension. It seemed she wasn't the only one who had noticed Pan's absence then.

Tink answered after two rings.

"Wendy!" she said, her voice winded.

"Hey," Wendy answered uncertainly. "What's—"

"Where are you?" she cut in. "You – here – as soon as –"

"Tink?" Wendy said, moving around the room for a better signal. "You're breaking up. What's going on?"

"Wend—"

The line abruptly went quiet and Wendy cursed when she saw her phone had died.

She tossed her bag on Jones's desk and untangled her charger from the rest of her belongings.

She squatted down to search under the desk, hoping to see a charging port, but there were too many boxes in the way.

She made a note to tease Jones's about his hoarding as she pulled boxes out of the way, one of which was surprisingly lite and came out easily.

She stumbled a bit, tipping the box over and causing its contents to spill.

"Bloody hell," she growled, her hands gathering the sheets of papers that had slipped out.

She shouldn't have looked. Maybe it was journalist instincts that caused her to look down. It was defiantly trauma that made her bolt back when she saw the face on the paper.

Jekyll.

"No."

No…no no…

It couldn't be. How could Jones … why would he …

Her opposite hand fluttered around her, searching desperately for something to grab on to.

It brushed against something hard—a beeper? Hand's shaking, she picked it up. She wasn't sure what force was making her turn it on. She should be throwing it.

But it came to life and revealed its secrets.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED?

COMPRIMISED. BLUE EYES FOUND.

"Blue eyes," Wendy pondered before the bluest pair of eyes she knew flashed across her mind. "Belle?"

PITY. YOU ARE NO LONGER OF ANY USED TO ME THEN.

GOODBYE.

That was it, and if Wendy had to guess Jekyll had had his brains blown out after receiving that message.

She dropped the beeper, wiping her hands frantically on her dress, not wanting any part of her on him.

She had been searching for Pan that night at the club. He had disappeared. She thought he abandoned her.

Jones had it. All this evidence that had been taken from…where? His secret lab under the hospital…

The car his corpse had been rotting in?

"I … I …"

Panic was setting in. The roots of her hair were standing straight up.

She could see Jekyll's rotting corpse so clearly.

Pan had been there too. Talking to her. Keeping her from losing her mind.

She was searching for him in a sea of strangers. She felt so lost.

There had to be a logical explanation, right? Jones just picked up the beeper, found it somewhere …

She glanced at the overturned box again, full of Jekyll's fucking face.

He didn't pull them out of a dead man's car, did he?

"Wendy?"

He heard him stop, seeing the mess around her.

She looked up at him and saw everything. The guilt of being caught, the secret of a man who had too many secrets.

And she knew right then that Jekyll wasn't the only one.

It was like an arrow had gone straight through her skull, carrying a physical rage and boiling hurt that settled into one acidic fire.

She shot around, staring at the man who shot her, but only one thing—one person—had squirmed past the pain.

Pan hadn't abandoned her…

And she needed him now.

She abandoned him.

"Where is he?"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Yeah, I don't write sex scenes sorry ;p

Still, sorry for the, what, year-long wait? Yikes. Going through some stuff and I just haven't felt like writing. Trying to get into again, so hold on tight!