Chapter 30
Gate guards piled in one behind the other, guns drawn and ready for the unknown threat about to step through the shimmering horizon. When two familiar figures came forward and fully materialized, a few guns briefly lowered before snapping back into position.
"Seasons greetings Earthlings. We come bearing...ourselves." Jack had his hands raised, dropping them when he gave up on his half-hearted attempt at brevity. He looked upward, peering into the control room at the man who would determine how the next few days and weeks would look like for them.
Subconsciously, Sam clung to his side. The nerves radiating off of her in waves. Focusing on the guards ahead, is the only thing that prevented her from holding onto Jack for support. Taking a deep breath, she put some space between them, trying to mentally get back into her "soldier Sam" persona.
General Hammond had made his way down the stairs and into the gate room, stopping just short of the ramp.
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter! You two never cease to amaze me, if it is really you." Gen. Hammond laughed with a lightness in his voice that hasn't been there for the past month.
"I can't wait to hear what you two have been up to, but first get yourselves down to the infirmary as protocol."
"Yes Sir." Sam spoke for the first time. Unlike Jack, she couldn't quite meet his eye contact despite feeling it burrowing into her. For reasons she wasn't able to describe, her stomach soured thinking he was judging her and how she handled herself on that planet. Even though that was absurd, as nothing happened. Which was all the more confusing.
Walking down the grey corridors of the SGC provoked similar reactions. Staff was walking around staring as though two ghosts had suddenly appeared. SG-1 had quite the reputation, so the ones staring have yet to be privy to the stories. Jack and Sam stopped before turning the corner to be poked and prodded.
"Remember Sam. It's over, but we...we aren't over." Jack whispered. It was a promise that they both knew would hold, but they both also knew the timing was always in question.
"I know." Sam offered a slight smile. "Let's get this over with."
Once in the infirmary, they were greeted by two nurses and just as quickly separated to two opposing beds. The nurses closed the curtains around each bed and provided the pair with a gown, instructing them to change.
"Major Carter, are you ready?" the nurse asked, friendly enough. He was unfamiliar to her, and that was slightly unsettling. She had to fight the urge to comply with his standard steps in care.
"Sure," she uttered out the small white lie.
"Ok Major, you know the drill. I'm gonna take some blood samples and then Dr. Fraizer will be by for the big finale." the nurse prepped the syringes to take said blood.
Sam watched, feeling more and more anxious by the second. She felt the rubber tourniquet being tied around her forearm and before she was able to catch herself, she snatched her arm away. The tourniquet snapped from the sudden pressure.
"Sorry, I don't know what I did that." Sam whispered seeing the nurse's confused look. He had stepped back holding his hands up as though in surrender, attempting to not appear threatening. Without any further interruption, the nurse took the blood she needed, offering a slight smile before retreating.
A few feet from her she heard Colonel O'Neill's boisterous voice complaining about every little thing as usual. That was something that never seemed to change. It felt like time was creeping by slower and slower, while her anxiety was skyrocketing. Looking down, she saw her two hands had inadvertently turned into fists. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on the feel of the sheets underneath her and will herself to be calm.
Finally, the curtains pulled open again and in came Dr. Frazier. She was relieved to see the familiar face of her best friend, she just wish they could speak freely about everything without the confines of the base.
"Sam! I'm so happy you guys made it back, if anyone can beat the odds it's you two!"
"I think I might have been a cat in a past life." Sam laughed, still nervous. She laid back against the exam bed as Janet instructed and steeled herself for what was to come. Janet made sure the curtains were fully drawn before she began examining Sam's body for any foreign objects, unusual marks or any other kind of abnormal findings.
She closed her eyes, bracing against the expected discomfort from Janet's cautious jabs and pokes. For women, a pelvic exam was a custom procedure after returning through the gate. Especially the longer the absence. She was surprised when no pain was present. Looking down, she just caught Janet straightening out the cover over her legs.
"All done. If I didn't know better, I would think you two were just on an extended vacation." Janet laughed, "Couldn't even find a scratch on you."
Shocked and confused would have been an understatement. Sam knew what should have been there. She still had scars from Kuk's twisted games he played trying to break her. She remembered all the internal scarring she had. Sitting up, she leaned back on the bed. Thinking back to the planet, she closed her eyes and shook her head as if trying to shake the fog out of it.
"What's wrong Sam?"
"Nothing, it wasn't a vacation back there. I can tell ya that. These aliens….they had ran some kind of experiment, made us see things that weren't real. But, it just is confusing all these scenes jumbled up." Sam whispered. She felt Janet's hand gently slide into hers, Sam blinked, not realizing there were tears there.
"You know Sam, even if nothing actually happened, physically, the mind is a powerful thing. But you're safe now, you're home."
What Janet was saying, it made sense. Sam knew that even from previous missions how the mind could play tricks on a person. But this simulation as those aliens called it, felt so complete. So detailed.
The assault, not real. Her fighting through the anger and fear from it? Not real. The baby that resulted? Not real. The feelings that developed and grew from feelings that were already there between her and Jack? Not completely not real. This was going to take a long time to sort through fact or fiction.
"This mission report is going to take awhile to write. I can tell you that much." Sam admitted.
"Maybe, but it isn't anything you can't handle. Now you are all through, I know you gotta see General Hammond to debrief, but let me know if you need anything. I'm here." Janet promised before turning to give Sam privacy to get dressed.
The debrief was a lengthy process as expected. Both Jack and Sam were in the room together but it was very much Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter in front of General Hammond. That in and of itself was an added level of confusion for them both.
They were nearing the end of sharing what had occurred and Hammond's normally stoic expression seemed slightly worn. It was a lot, even with SG-1's history being what it was. "So just to be clear, these aliens kidnapped you from PX5983 and in efforts to study the human condition, they created a series of events to view your reactions to?"
"Essentially, yes Sir. They made us experience Sam being MIA, the assault, us finding her and the fallout, having a baby, starting a relationship and then our respective deaths, all within a month in real time." Colonel O'Neill summarized it all. Hearing it put that way, so black and white so to speak, made it seem surreal. As if O'Neill was discussing a movie. That cold, clinical overview was as much to protect Sam as it was himself. This wasn't the place to process it all.
Everything actually felt surreal. Sam was sitting there, hearing everything being said, but it felt as if she was having some sort of out of body experience.
"Carter? Carter are you ok?" Gen. Hammond asked, his voice slightly louder with each call. She shook herself out of it, coming back to the conversation.
"Uh, yeah I guess. Sorry. It's been a long month." Sam took another deep breath yet again. She glanced over at Colonel O'Neill, trying to get a read on him. She couldn't wait until they were able to just be alone and lay all their cards on the table. She was nervous about what he would say, but the moment their eyes met, a wave of reassurance washed over her. It was times like these where she was grateful for the deep, unspoken connection that allowed them to easily communicate without words.
"I can only imagine. I know you two have been through the gamut with all of Fraizer's tests. They've come back giving you the all clear, so why don't you guys take the week, make sure your houses are still standing and then we can reevaluate everything." Gen. Hammond stood and started to dismiss them from his office. Suddenly realizing the impact that everything would undoubtedly have on their future, he called out to them.
"And one more thing, not to complicate matters more than necessary, but I'm assuming that you have a lot to figure out. Regardless of the outcome, I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep SG-1 together moving forward." Hammond ended.
So the two walked down the hallways, once again back on auto pilot. They had yet to see the rest of the team, Teal'c and Daniel having just came back from some kind of diplomatic mission with SG-8 during their debriefing. Seeing that they were outside Jack's office, he gestured for them to enter.
The pair took a seat on opposite ends of the room. They stared at each other, moments passing by. There was so much to say yet nothing at the same time. This still wasn't the place to speak openly.
"We should go see the rest of the team." Sam finally broke the silence. She knew they would be anxious to make sure they were alright, but she was just tired of explaining it all.
"I'm surprised they haven't showed up yet. At least Daniel bursting through the door. Look, don't worry, I can do the talking. I mean, I feel like I got the easy end of the...simulation." Jack volunteered. She could see him putting on his brave face, but because she knew him she could see his own discomfort. He had been the one doing most of the reporting up to this point, and she was grateful for that and she wanted to give him a moment of reprieve. But she just felt drained. Incapable. Which caused a new kind of stress within her.
"I'm sorry I'm being so useless. This has just melted my brain." Sam admitted meekly. Jack stood and closed the distance between them. Gently grabbing her hand, he pulled her closer until he could rest his head on top of hers.
"We'll be ok Sam. We'll figure it all out together. I promise." Jack whispered into her ear. He knew this was inappropriate, but he knew how badly she needed it. He didn't know how badly he needed it.
Right on cue, the office door slide open and revealed Daniel and Teal'c. Regretfully, Jack released Sam from their embrace and they tried to quickly regain composure.
"Jack! Sam! I knew you guys were still out there! Are you two okay?" Daniel asked excited and oblivious to the moment he just interrupted. He hugged Jack and moved to hug Sam after.
"Yeah, okay is a word for it. Glad to see you and Teal'c though, heard you have been keeping busy."
"Oh, after the Pentagon made us declare you and Sam MIA, Teal'c and I volunteered with other teams to try and keep up the search. But you were hiding in plain sight!" Daniel chuckled, joy coloring his voice at the team being reunited.
"We were not going to give up on you Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter." Teal'c bowed in reverence. Sam offered a tight smile and Daniel couldn't help but notice the strange stance she adopted as Teal'c leaned against the counter next to her. Her hands were gripping her arms protectively, as though she was weary of Teal'c.
"You sure everything is ok Sam?" Daniel gently asked. He knew that whatever happened it was sure to have left a mark, though he couldn't even imagine the extent. Sam started back, as if looking through him.
Sam gulped and pulled herself out of the trance she felt herself slip in. Noticing her crossed arms, seemingly for the first time, she forced them to her sides in attempts at a more natural appearance. "Ugh, yeah. It was just a lot. Just tired, exhausted really."
"Of course. Well, we just wanted to see you guys for ourselves. Teal'c and I have to finish up our reports, but go get some rest and let us know if you need anything." Daniel offered, empathetic to the fact that whatever happened, Sam was not ready to talk about it yet. Normally he might have pushed for her to open up, but he could see that Jack was probably in a better position to help.
A/N: One more chapter after this!