A Whole Mood

Soon it was Halloween. Jack had decided on the perfect costume. He was going dressed as a firefighter. Stella pinned up a pair of her turnout pants and Kelly rolled up the sleeves of one of his Squad 3 jackets. With his dad's helmet falling down over his eyes, Jack laughingly proclaimed himself to be Candidate Severide of the CFD. By the time they had trick-or-treated through the building, Jack had already amassed so much candy that they had to go back to the loft and empty his bag. Then it was off to 51.

When they arrived at the firehouse, the Herrmanns were already there, as was Terrance. All were glad to see him and greeted him enthusiastically. "The costume suits you, young man," commented Chief Boden, and Jack smiled up at him in return.

Shortly after the Severide-Kidds arrived, a reporter turned up at the firehouse. He was snapping pictures right and left for a human interest story on how Firehouse 51 had become an integral part of the community around it. The reporter struck up a conversation with Jack, and was soon listening raptly to Jack tell his story of abandonment, finding his father, and all that had happened since. When the reporter asked permission to print the story, Kelly and Stella gave it—after making sure Jack understood the implications and was also okay with it. As Kelly put it, it was Jack's story to tell.

The photographer took some pictures of Jack and his parents. One shot had Jack standing between them, grinning up at Stella, outsized helmet falling back from his face. Stella and Kelly were both gazing down at him, and the love in their eyes was as evident as if it were spoken. That picture, and the story, appeared in the Tribune the next day with the headline, "The CFD Means Family." Commissioner Grissom and the other powers that be were thrilled with the PR shot in the arm, and Jack's friends at school were thrilled to be friends with a celebrity, and Kelly and Stella were gratified that Jack felt comfortable sharing his story publicly. All in all, Halloween was a huge success.

November came in gently, mild and sunny, but the honeymoon did not last. By the third week of the month, it was cold and rainy and generally miserable. Jack grumbled daily about having to go to school. He had graduated from a windbreaker to a red and black school hoodie which would soon have to be replaced by a new winter coat. The one his parents had bought for him the previous February was long since outgrown. As Jack's eleventh birthday grew nearer, he showed every sign of adolescence and preteen behavior. Kelly grimly observed to Stella one morning after dropping Jack off that he feared the paddle was in his son's fairly immediate future. "He's pushing again," observed Kelly, "and I promised if he crossed the boundary, he was going to feel the consequence. I'm afraid that's going to happen sooner rather than later. I love that kid, but he is on my very last nerve right now."

"I hear you," said Stella. "Right up to the line, time after time. Sooner or later, he's going to step over."

"For sure," said Kelly, and sighed. "And I'm not looking forward to it, but if he doesn't learn now that we mean business, we'll be in for hell in a couple of years. And I should know."

"Well. he's out of school for three days next week for Thanksgiving, and Wednesday and Thursday are off shift, so maybe we can just carve out some down time for all three of us and diffuse the situation a bit. I'm starting to think that quiet time, family time, is just one of those things he kind of has to have."

"Yeah, he said as much to me when we were up at the cabin last month. He said he likes it up there because it's quiet and he can hear himself think. Anyway, I hope some down time will help. I know part of parenting is discipline, but I don't want to have a negative relationship with my kid, you know?"

"Oh, Kelly, you don't. He loves you and admires you and all of the things. All kids go through stuff. If they never test the limits, they never find out where they are. You get that this is all normal, right?"

"Yeah, I do. It's just...there are a whole lot of my footsteps that I don't want him to walk in, that's all."

"I get that, but at some point he makes his own decisions and his own missteps and mistakes, and you can't stop that from happening. You can't spank him hard enough to keep him from growing up, Kelly."

"Yeah, I know." And he sighed once more.

The following week was Thanksgiving, and Stella and Kelly felt very lucky that, this particular year, they were off shift for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since this was the first holiday season they had with Jack, they wanted it to be as special as possible. Jack, as usual, had no particular expectations, having never had much experience with either holiday.

The Herrmanns had invited the Severide-Kidds to join their family for Thanksgiving, but Kelly and Stella politely declined, explaining that they felt the need to establish their own family traditions. Herrmann and Cindy both understood, and Cindy said to let her know if they needed anything. In light of their conversation the previous week, Stella felt that they should try to strike a balance between making the day special and keeping it low-key and quiet. Kelly did not disagree.

On Tuesday, Dunbar let out at noon for the holiday break, and the van dropped Jack off at 51. As he strode in onto the apparatus floor, Kelly looked up and realized that Jack was basically a walking thundercloud. His jaw was tight, and his expression unhappy. As he approached the squad table, he threw his backpack so that it hit the floor and slid several feet before coming to a stop near Kelly's chair. As the rest of the squad looked on, Kelly drew a breath, rose, picked up the backpack, and walked to his son. "What's going on, bud? Why'd you throw your backpack like that?"

"I hate that stupid school and everybody in it. I'm not going back, that's what's going on," spat Jack.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I just hate it, that's all."

"Well, as far as I know, you loved it five hours ago. What changed?"

Jack looked up, and Kelly saw that his eyes were filled. "Just leave me alone, okay, Dad? Please?"

Kelly handed the backpack to Jack. "Tell you what. Why don't you go to my quarters for a little bit? I'm not mad, and you're not in trouble, at least at this point. Just take some time to think through whatever is going on. I'll come talk to you later, okay?"

Jack nodded mutely, shouldered his backpack, and trudged in the direction of the bunk room.

A couple of minutes later, Stella came out onto the app floor. "What's going on with Jack?" she asked her husband. "He barely grunted to me before heading to your office, and he looked ready to cry. What happened?"

"No idea," Kelly replied. "He was a whole mood when he got off the van, and I decided to just let him go decompress, rather than try to force him to talk to me. He'll tell us when he's ready, I imagine. All I know is that he hates that stupid school and he's never going back. According to him, of course. He asked me to leave him alone, and he wasn't really hateful about it, so I decided to let him work through whatever it is in his own time. I can wait."

At that moment, Kelly's phone rang, and he reached into his pocket. When he looked at the caller ID, his brows rose. "Mr. Anderson," he said. "I think we're about to find out what's going on." He answered the phone, and as he listened to the teacher on the other end, his face darkened. "I see," he said. He listened again, scowling."Thanks for letting me know, Mr. Anderson. I'm sorry that happened. It probably is a bit out of character for Jack at school, but this isn't the first problem his mom and I have had with this kind of thing. I promise you, I will take care of it. Thanks again."

Kelly ended the call, his expression grim. "Well, now we know," he told Stella. She looked at him questioningly. "It seems that Mr. Anderson made an error while teaching math this morning, and Jack felt the need to point it out somewhat rudely. When Mr. Anderson took him out to the hall to talk to him, he popped off again. Told him that if he couldn't teach fifth-grade math, he probably shouldn't be a teacher. Mr. A. let him cool his heels in the hall for a bit, and then went to try to talk to him again, but he got more lip. By that time, school was almost over, so he told Jack he expects an apology on Monday and let it go at that. That kid is in so much trouble. Dammit."

Kelly strode across the firehouse to his quarters. His anger abated a little—but not much—when he saw the bundle of misery hunched on his bunk, head down on his knees, shoulders shaking with sobs. "Jackson Everett, head up." Jack raised a tear-streaked face, and Kelly's heart melted a little more, but he knew he had to be firm about this. "I just got off the phone with Mr. A., Jack. What in the world?"

"I don't know," Jack sighed miserably. "I called him out for his mistake, a bunch of the kids laughed, and he sent me to the hall. It made me mad, because he really did make a mistake."

"So when you pointed it out, instead of trying to be respectful, you decided to try to be funny instead, is that it?"

"Yes, sir, I guess so."

Kelly spun his chair to face the end of the bed. "Turn around and look at me, son." Jack did so. "Listen. There is a reason I'm so hard-nosed about the respect thing, bud. Lack of respect for authority, thinking that me being right gives me the right to behave inappropriately, has caused me more trouble in life than I care to think about. My mouth has caused me more grief than pretty much any other part of my anatomy." Kelly grinned a little. "Well, there's one other part..." Jack smiled thinly. "The thing is, I have been down roads I never want you to travel, and a lot of that has been because I insisted on bucking people who were older and knew more and really only wanted what was best for me. If you don't believe me, ask the chief. He's one of those people. So when I insist on respect, that's the reason why. It really is because I care about you, whether it seems that way or not."

Jack merely nodded.

Kelly took a deep breath. "So, you know what happens when we get home tomorrow after shift."

Jack's eyes filled again. "Dad, please..."

Kelly shook his head. "You've had plenty of warnings and plenty of room, Jack, but you just kept pushing. I'm really just kind of sorry I didn't do it sooner. Then maybe you wouldn't have overstepped at school. That's probably my fault. In any event, you did what you did, and the consequence is what it is. Besides that, come Monday, you're going to give Mr. Anderson two apologies, one written and one verbal. And the verbal one is in front of the class, for everyone to hear. Do you understand why?"

"Yes, sir. Because I was disrespectful in front of the whole class."

"Exactly. Jack, you're a great kid, and I love you and I'm proud of you. I want you to be the best you can be, and that's why I insist on these things. You understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay. They didn't give you homework over the holiday, did they?"

"Well, no, but I have to finish the math I didn't do in class because I was out in the hall acting stupid."

"Well, why don't you get it out of the way, then?"

"Okay."

Kelly left Jack to it and headed to the common room to find Stella. "We talked, he's sorry, he knows he's getting worn out when we get home tomorrow, etc., etc. I hope this doesn't become an old, familiar song with him. I don't think I'm up for it."

Stella leaned into him and put her hand on his chest. "I hope it doesn't, too, but you're the best dad ever, so I'm pretty sure you can handle whatever comes your way, buddy."

"Probably," her husband sighed, "but I don't want to."

Stella kissed him. "I know. But you don't have to paddle him if you decide not to. I mean, we can put him on restriction or something."

Kelly shook his head. "No. For two reasons: first of all, I need to mean what I say all the time with him. You know that. Secondly, I don't want his first Thanksgiving with us to be on restriction and feeling like we're still mad at him and whatever. No, I'm gonna bust his butt and be done with it. Clean slate, and we move on. He still has to apologize to Mr. Anderson next week, and I hate that that will be hanging over his head, but there's not much I can do about that part of it."

Stella smiled at him. "See? Best dad ever. You got this, Kelly Severide."

Kelly chuckled and pulled her in for another kiss, just as the bells went off.