TW in end notes - please check if you have any concerns.
September 1977
As always, the arrival of their Hogwarts letters marked the end of the holidays, even if there were still two weeks of freedom left. The full moon passed easily — any lingering tension from July's second moon having disappeared after Moony recognised Mini.
Instead, they had explored the forest surrounding Potter Manor as usual. A stag desperately playing catch up to its more canine friends as they tumbled their way through the woods.
Peter hadn't been there. His mother always begged him to stay home more often as the holidays came to an end. Not ready to surrender him back to Hogwarts for another year, and despite finally being an adult, Peter didn't have the heart to deny her.
Not that James could blame him. He'd give anything for a few more weeks with his mother.
Instead, he, Sirius and the twins had spent the last few days of the holidays alone together. Remus and Hermione having already said goodbye to their mother, who couldn't accompany them to the platform as Lyall was still away. Hunting the same poltergeist that had evaded him the whole summer.
Instead, they had apparated to the platform together. James and Remus immediately heading towards the Prefect's cabin, as despite not making Head Boy, Remus was staying on as the other seventh-year prefect.
As they headed in one direction, Sirius and Hermione headed in another. Remus and James pointedly ignoring the way Sirius had leant down to whisper in her ear as they walked and the fact he had slid his hand into the back pocket of her jeans.
They weren't in the cabin long before Lily appeared. Almost bouncing with anticipation for her year as Head Girl, they had exchanged a multitude of letters during their fortnight apart.
She was followed by a newly appointed Alice Fortescue who seemed both amused and exasperated by Lily's enthusiasm. But who was also excitedly showing off the large ruby weighing down her left hand in Frank Longbottom's absence.
Her new fiancée had finished school the previous summer and had already been accepted to the Auror program, meaning he'd likely be too busy to meet during Hogsmeade trips. Instead, he had apparently sent Alice back to school with a rock large enough to try and make up for their separation.
While the four of them caught up, the rest of the prefects trickled in. Even Regulus slinking into a dark corner at the back before Lily launched into a carefully prepared speech.
James didn't contribute much, not because he wasn't interested but because he knew this was Lily's moment. That it was something she had been working towards since first year, and it wasn't as if she needed any help anyway.
Swiftly assigning Snape and Liliana Zabini to patrol the train after the latter had made muttered comments about their new head girl being a mudblood, and the former had done nothing to reprimand her.
Instead, he stood next to her in a silent show of support until the rest of the prefects had escaped back to their friends. The more people exited, the harder his heart started pounding in his chest. Well aware that when the last person left, he was going to put it on the line.
With Remus heading off to find Peter, Lily started gathering up her papers while James summoned his courage. Almost missing the chance as she said goodbye and started heading for the door.
"Lily — wait," he blurted out desperately.
Spinning back towards him, concern crossed her face, "James? You okay? You look kind of ... grey?"
"I'm fine," he reassured, taking a breath before asking, "We're friends, right?"
"Of course. Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing! Nothing's wrong," he rushed to explain. "But we're friends because I swore to back off, right?"
"Yes ..." she replied hesitantly. Still unsure where this was going, and James took another breath before launching into the speech he'd been preparing all week.
"I meant what I said. If you're still not interested, I swear I'll never ask again. I'll even move back into the main dorms if it would make you more comfortable but would you … would you consider going to Hogsmeade with me?"
It was almost a whisper. As if he were afraid of the answer because he was. He didn't want to ruin what they had built over the past year, but after Hermione had suggested Lily may accept more than the friendship they currently had, he couldn't stop thinking about the possibility.
He meant every word he said. This was the last time. If the answer was still no, he'd respect that. And if she wanted him to move out of the Heads Dorms before they'd even moved in, then he'd already spent six years living with the Marauders and figured another one couldn't hurt.
But part of him still hoped.
The torch he'd carried for her had never really gone out after all. He had smothered it down to a glowing ember that he'd buried deep inside of himself, but with even the possibility of Lily returning his affections, it had burst back into flame.
As he spoke, a pink blush had risen on her cheekbones. Not the full face flush that he'd recognise from one of the many times she'd screamed her refusal during their fifth year. Instead, it was one he recognised from having appeared across her cheeks during their summer meetings, and he felt hope soar in his chest. Rising even higher at the small smile that formed on her face.
"Oh, James," she breathed, "I've been hoping you'd ask again for months now."
"What?" he asked, mouth dropping open, taken back by the fact she appeared to be accepting his invitation.
Giggling at his expression, she replied, "Yes, dummy. I'd love to go with you."
Regulus had never been so relieved to return to Hogwarts. The castle had always been somewhat of a safe haven, even if it was the place that separated him and Sirius. It was also the place that had granted him his first glimpses of life away from his parents.
But even still, those high stone walls had never looked more like a sanctuary than they had getting off the Express. Now guaranteeing him a few more months of safety and freedom from the Dark Lord as opposed to his parents.
He hadn't been home a week before he was summoned. The mark burning on his arm, a scorching heat he couldn't have ignored no matter how much he wanted to. Letting it take him, he'd felt the stomach-turning sensation of apparition, despite the fact he'd never even had lessons. Only recognising the feeling from the occasional time his father had side-apparated him places.
Trying desperately not to stumble, he was back in the Nott's drawing room surrounded by the other Death Eaters. It hadn't taken him long to realise why they had been summoned. He was finally getting the chance to witness an Initiation.
Avery and McNair standing proudly in the centre, awaiting their instructions. Two terrified muggles were brought into the room and thrown at their feet. Looking to their Lord for instructions, he had only hissed in that strange, not quite human voice, "Make them scream."
They hadn't needed any more instruction than that. Eagerly starting to cast spells Regulus knew weren't taught at Hogwarts. The muggles didn't last long, leaving Avery and McNair looking back up with bloodlust still clouding their vision.
Regulus had hoped that would be the end of it. A disgusting display of their willingness to do violence in the name of Lord Voldemort, but he should have known better.
That the Death Eaters initiation was not to show how eager you were to join but to break you so profoundly you couldn't leave. He'd only escaped on the technicality of his last name and his parents' enthusiasm.
He hadn't realised Avery and McNair Snrs were missing. Likely the only reason their sons were being awarded this honour so early, Regulus should have known they would do anything to ensure their sons earned such a distinction and yet he still felt his stomach churn at the sight of Penelope Avery struggling in her father's arms as she was dragged into the room. Clearly terrified and with no understanding of what was happening, she still knew to be afraid.
He didn't know the girl well. Only that she had been sorted into Slytherin the previous September and that if it wasn't for their last names, no one would have realised she and her brother were related. Penelope generally considered a sweet girl, a stark contrast to her older brother's cruelty.
Beside them, McNair's father walked accompanied by his wife. She looked apprehensive but was clearly schooling her reactions as best she could before she was told to kneel before her son.
McNair at least looked alarmed by the direction he had realised this was heading, but Avery seemed almost gleeful. Grinning menacingly down at the crumpled form his sister had taken when she was thrown at his feet.
Regulus could scarcely believe what he was about to witness. He knew what the Death Eaters were, what he was, even if he didn't want to be. But a child. One that still wore her hair in braids and was looking up at her father and brother not for the reassurances of her safety she should be, but with absolute terror in her eyes.
Were he not occluding so hard he suspected Lucius could be able to feel it next to him, Regulus suspected he would have had to run from the room to empty his stomach. But that wasn't an option, and a quick glance to his left suggested Lucius was doing the same, his eyes slightly hazy even if his fist was clenched by his side.
Both of them, using every bit of control they had to disconnect from what was happening. So much so, Regulus almost didn't hear that same hissing voice call out "Crucio." Not a spell of his own but an instruction.
The screams that followed, though.
No amount of Occlumency would ever have been able to block those out.
He didn't know how long it lasted. But after the second display of depravity in as many weeks from Avery and McNair, he was expected to welcome them into their ranks.
To celebrate their Initiation. Not that Regulus supposed they were in bad company, as most of the people in the room with them would have gladly joined them on that last night of term.
The rest of the summer had passed in a haze of occluded memories. Disconnecting himself from what was happening as much as possible and pouring what he couldn't dissociate from onto the pages of diaries were reading more and more like horror stories.
It didn't make him sleep any easier, though. Both because of what he'd witnessed and that he hadn't stopped any of it.
By the time he returned to Hogwarts hallowed halls, he was exhausted and traumatised. Wondering what would possibly be worse than what he'd witnessed all summer. Because as much as he didn't want to believe things could get worse, he knew Pandora was right. He just dreaded finding out exactly how.
Still, he'd never been so relieved to wear a green and silver tie. The colours a welcome reprieve from the black robes that had dominated his summer.
Even with that release, he still avoided Slytherin as much as possible. Knowing some of his housemates looked forward to joining what he had endured all summer. That they were actively working towards acceptance.
He couldn't stay there and watch them plan. Not when he knew the truth of what the Death Eaters were and certainly not when he risked seeing little Penelope Avery, and the way her hands still shook with tremors and how she no longer laughed around the fire with her friends. Instead, hiding away in the corners, afraid of the world.
The start of term passed quickly. Professors quickly falling back into lessons and piling them all with work they claimed was essential if they wanted to pass their NEWTs.
Pandora had interrogated her about what had happened with Sirius. Smiling knowingly when Hermione recounted their conversation in the library with a pink flush to her cheeks. Explaining that she didn't want to rush things, but it was often difficult to stick to that ideal when they were alone together.
Something Hermione found happening plenty. Happily following him into abandoned classrooms and alcoves but more often than not, the two of them hiding in the Room of Requirement, damning the consequences.
Their duelling sessions ended with Sirius pressing her up against the wall, drawing needy gasps from her lips, or with Hermione crawling into his lap on a newly conjured loveseat.
The two of them grinding against each other as much as they dared. His hands exploring under her blouse while she sucked marks onto his neck. Enjoying the way they stood out against his skin. Peeping out the top of his collar or fully exposed over the weekends when Sirius liked to try and horrify his brother by flaunting his collection of ragged muggle band shirts.
That wasn't all they did, though. Passing hours comfortably in each other's presence. Just enjoying being around each other as they had come to appreciate so much over the past year.
They were both exercising uncharacteristic caution. Sirius' especially so, more known for his recklessness, but they knew this was important. Both to themselves, but also because of the repercussions were things to end badly.
Because no matter how much they tried to reassure themselves that nothing would happen, they weren't willing to take that chance. Not with each other and certainly not with their friends — their brothers.
It didn't entirely stop them, though. Instead, prompting them to move more slowly than they perhaps would have otherwise — even if that didn't necessarily mean gently. Too much teeth grazing and hair tugging for that because there was plenty you could do without pushing boundaries too far, as they were both discovering.
Still, they were determined not to burn out in a blaze of passion, so they only let their hands wander so far, even in the safety of the Room of Requirement.
Between their own relationship and James and Lily's newly recognised feelings, things were remarkably rose-tinted for the Marauders. But that same could not be said for the rest of the school.
The dark air that had fallen over the rest of Magical Britain had permeated the castle too. Her questions over whether the attack on Mary MacDonald would be forgotten were answered in the way people still didn't go anywhere alone. Girls travelling in the safety of groups, not risking even going to the bathroom alone.
It was difficult to forget what happened when there were reminders every few days in the Prophet, after all.
Not about Mary, who had returned to the castle pale and shaken but determined not to let it get the better of her. Not to let the way tales were still being passed around affect her, even if she was never out of the sight of her year mates.
Instead, the news held stories of other girls, muggles who had clearly died from the Dark Arts and had been disposed of like rubbish around London.
Those weren't the only stores to fill the pages, though. Benji Fenwick had been found in pieces by Aurors. A blasting curse gone astray; the story had turned more than one stomach while people read about it over breakfast.
Wizarding Britain was at war.
The Prophet filled with posters from the DMLE, Greyback's terrifying features looking up at them. Making her brother freeze in his seat, not expecting to face the monster that had haunted both their childhoods over their morning toast.
Very few of the Death Eaters Hermione knew of were listed among those 'wanted for questioning.' Not this time, when they were all still respectable members of the community. Filling the Wizenmongot and the society pages rather than those taken out by the Aurors.
None of them had been charged with the hideous crimes they'd no doubt committed, after all. They couldn't have been, the war wasn't over yet, and it wasn't as if there was enough evidence to arrest them.
Especially not as it became increasingly clear the influence they held over the Ministry. Several new laws passing that reminded Hermione eerily of another lifetime. New werewolf reforms were even passed, barring any dark creatures from St Mungo's.
Remus hadn't said anything when they'd read about them, but they had all seen how his grip on the paper had tightened, and anger had flashed across his face. Yet another way the world was working against her brother.
Still, with the mountains of work the Professors were giving them, it was difficult to focus on anything but. Even the Marauder's seemed to have realised the gravity of their upcoming NEWTs.
Sirius had even started joining her in the library. Pulling his chair closer than was technically necessary, he'd study his own materials at first. Determined to make it into the same early acceptance program for the Aurors as Kingsley, even without James by his side.
They'd stay like that for a while. Studying silently next to each other before Sirius would inevitably grow bored and move a hand to the back of her chair and start playing with her hair, subtlety trying to get her attention from whatever was preoccupying her.
When that wouldn't work, he'd somehow move even closer. One hand still playing with her curls, another would come and rest on her knee, creeping slowly up her thigh, far more daring than Kingsley had ever dared be, and somehow even more maddening.
Usually, she would give in and let him draw her out of the stacks to find somewhere with more privacy but knowing she needed to speak to him, she instead flicked up a notice-me-not and cast a quick muffliato biting down on a smile at his shocked expression.
Instead of giving in to whatever fantasies she could almost see Sirius imagining, she caught his hand from where it was trailing along her thigh. Wrapping it in both of hers as she gently traced the knuckles before looking up at him.
He was watching her with a questioning expression. Previous curiously quirked eyebrow having given way to something more contemplative, and Hermione braced herself to disappoint him – knowing he wouldn't like what she was about to say.
"I can't go to Hogsmeade with you."
Despite the silencing charm she'd put up, it was barely a whisper, but she felt Sirius tense at her words all the same.
"What?" he asked, more confused than angry, and Hermione kept up the soft strokes of her thumbs over his hand while she explained.
"It's not that I don't want to; I do. But I can't just abandon Pandora, and she doesn't have anyone else to go with."
"Mini," he groaned, clearly not thrilled with the change of plans – even if muttered plans in the Potter's library couldn't really be considered a firm invitation.
"It's not just that."
"What else?"
"Remus," she replied. "James is finally going with Lily, and if we're also paired off, who will he go with?"
"Peter?" Sirius offered, knowing she wouldn't go for it and quirking his lips slightly at the unimpressed look she shot him.
"That still leaves Pandora alone, though, and I don't think you'd want her accompanying us. Do you?"
"Fine," he grumbled. "You abandon me for Malfoy, and I go with your brother."
"With your friend," she stressed. Thankful that he'd accepted readily, she couldn't help checking. "We're good?"
Sighing, he looked down at their entwined hands while, "It's fine, Mini. Of course, it is. Just I want to do this right."
That strange vulnerable tone she recognised from the Potters library had reappeared for the first time in a month, and she squeezed his hand in reassurance. Not wanting to interrupt whatever train of thought he was sharing but needing to show she was listening.
"I know what they're saying. That they're basically just waiting for us to break up, but I don't want that," he stressed.
"I know," she breathed, but he didn't seem to hear her.
"Just, I want to take you to Hogsmeade – I want to show them that they're wrong – that you're important to me – and not just because of Moony, but you're you."
"I know," she repeated, shaking his hand to get his attention back on her and looking in those grey eyes to see something like desperation in them. "I know you, Sirius. You've already shown me that is different, so I don't care what they're saying."
And she didn't. Because while she'd only really been in one relationship before, things with Sirius felt markedly different to Kingsley or even Ron. Because there was more than just their mutual attraction – though she couldn't deny that either. Instead, they were built on their shared secrets and enough respect not to pry any further than that.
"I know you don't," he admitted. "So, really, go to Hogsmeade with Pandora. Merlin knows I've probably been keeping you from her enough lately."
With his confession still playing in her head, the small concession to her friendship with Pandora made Hermione bite down another smile. Because she knew that Sirius was still wary of her friend but that he was willing to trust her judgement meant a lot to her, so Hermione leant into the slightly heady feeling his words had given her and shifted herself onto his lap.
A dangerous game in the library's rickety chairs, he raised an eyebrow at the motion but didn't disguise the slight look of shock on his face. Clearly not expecting her to be quite so open in her affections – something Hermione herself was surprised by – sure a younger version of her would be horrified she was considering desecrating the stacks in such a manner.
Instead, she rested her hands against his chest as she balanced herself across his thighs. Giving him a cheeky smile and asking, "Besides, I think I'd prefer to spend our time together more privately than in some overcrowded pub. Wouldn't you?"
Chucking at her implications, his fingers drummed against her back where his hands were wrapped around her waist before he replied, "I'm not sure I'd call this private, Kitten?"
"Maybe not," she agreed. Watching his eyes darken as she shifted to get even closer to him, "But it'll certainly suit our purposes."
AN: so that got dark in the middle there huh? hopefully the fluff either side made it better?
TW: Referenced torture (including of a child)