Wow, it's been a while! anyway, I had this story on back burner for a while, and was basically inspired by a line i saw somewhere (Tumblr?) that was Jaune! Stop Adopting Kids! and I just had to write something. also, pretty long chapter.
The theater was full of small chatter as Orb set up the next scene. RWBY was doing their best to comfort Ruby.
"I wonder what the next scene is going to be. Hopefully something a little more action filled than the last one." mercury said, leaning back.
Orb shook his head. "Eh, perhaps. Jaune is a bit older in this one."
The more perceptive or wary members raised an eyebrow at that bit of information. But they had seen jaune in his late twenties at this point, so it really didn't matter.
The scene started with it being very dark. A lump in bed, crested by gold flax seed blonde hair was visible. The door creeped open as a silent shadow entered the undisturbed room. It crept up ominously upon the sleeping form of Jaune, the shadow small and quiet. The small thing loomed over Jaune, staring down at him.
Ruby whimpered at the scary shadow that lurked on the screen. The intensity was killing her. Yang and Cinder, however, were eating it up.
Jaune turned over, his peaceful face not fortelling what was going to happen to him. The shadow raised their hands, and gave the adult a light shake. Jaune woke up at that, responding with a groggy "hrrn?"
The shadow stood there silently as Jaune woke up. He squinted at the shadow groggily, trying to figure out who it was. Turning over, he gave the lump that was hidden in the darkness a light push. "Up. One of the kids is awake."
The interested females blinked at that. "Kids? Jaune has kids in this? Oh, they're going to be so cute!" Ruby squealed to herself, already picturing herself as that second lump.
"I agree! Little blonde monsters running around! Ohh, just imagine it, renny! Do you think I could be the godmother? Or maybe their favorite Aunt!" Nora responded with jubilant glee.
"Orb, how many kids d-does Jaune have in this?" Pyrrha asked, her head already halfway to heaven.
"Six, all and all." Orb responded. Sienna's and Winter's eyes widened at that. "Six?! Six? Poor woman." Sienna winced.
Ren only shrugged. "That doesn't surprise me at all. Jaune himself has seven sisters."
Mercury's jaw dropped. "Seven sisters?! How the hell is this kid still alive!? I can barely handle Em on her best days!"
"Hey!" it appeared that Em took offence to that.
A very sleepy and groggy voice responded, so thick with sleep that it was impossible to tell who it was. "Which one?"
Jaune squinted again, first in confusion, and then trying to see the perpetrator clearly. Deciding it was too dark and it was not worth turning on the light, he stuck a hand out, grabbing the child by the face lightly. Jaune fumbled a bit, feeling the details of the child's face. Turning back to the lump, he gave an answer. "It's Ren."
"Not my kid then. Take care of it, Jaune." the voice said.
Adam squinted. He knew that he'd heard that voice before, but he could not tell where.
"Aww, Ren, he named his kid after you!"
Ren smiled serenely that his brother from another mother named his child after him.
Jaune grumbled something before sitting up in bed. "What is Ren? Nightmares?"
The child shook their head.
Jaune gave a chuckling sigh. "Let me guess, you want some tea?"
The child nodded before exiting the room quietly, although faster and more excited than his entry. Jaune got up, stumbling his way to the kitchen. Flicking on the light there, a taller and older Jaune got the kettle. Ren was a short dark haired child with Magenta eyes and that signature pink slip in his hair.
Ren raised an eyebrow, that was not Jaunes son. That was him. Just as like, a five year old or something. Nora was as equally confused as everyone else. It was Ozpin that made the connection first. "So Mr. Arc is a generation or so older here?"
Orb took a pondering blank look, like a child caught in the cookie jar and coming up with an excuse.
"Sure. let's go with that." Orb said finally. Everyone knew that was a bold faced lie.
Pouring the cup of hot water, he slid it over to his son. "Here you go." Ren nodded, taking it and a tea bag. Carefully putting the bag in, he let it stew for a moment before taking a sip.
"Ahhh." The boy said serenely.
Jaune leaned forward. "So, why are you awake at this hour."
Ren was quiet as he sipped his tea.
"Did Nora knock you out of the bed again?"
Ren shook his head.
Ren nodded his head. Nora looked at her partner, betrayed. "You do though. More often than I would like."
Jaune gave a humming sound. "So, why are you up at this hour? It's" Jaune interrupted his sentence to yawn. "Very early in the morning."
Ren remained silent, not looking Jaune in the eye. Jaune gave a small sigh. He had picked up Ren and Nora about a year ago from the wreckage of a village.
It was the middle of the night when Jaune arrived in Kuroyuri.
"It should be tonight." Jaune said, remembering his friend's words. "A bright full moon, with the curse of storms on the way. The 5th of October"
He looked to the horizon, and took a seat down on the fountain. "And now we wait."
Ren furrowed his eyebrows.
"How does this fearless leader know when to be here?" Nora asked. Adam just leaned back a little.
"Who cares? He's here to save the stinking hides of his sorry fellow humans." He grunted. Sienna groaned, pinching her nose as her tail swished angrily behind her.
"Play nice, Adam. we are still guests here." she sighed.
Jaune perked up as he watched the horizon. A town guard came up from behind him. "Sir, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"Alert the town." Jaune said finally, using his commander voice. "Grimm are on the horizons."
The towns guard blanched. "A-are you sure? The town hasn't been attacked in decades." Jaune turned to glare at the man.
"Right, i'll alert the town." The guard scurried off.
Adam snorted. "Weak willed humans, crumbling under the first sign of resistance."
Ironwood glared. "Then I wonder why you bastards are still fighting then." he shot back. "If humans are so weak."
Adam snarled, baring his teeth at the Atlas general. Orb elected to ignore them.
Jaune smiled at the sound of bells and the waking of the town. He frowned at the sudden increase of the pace of the Grimm hoard. He sighed, standing up and pulling his sword out. With a flick, it expanded into a greatsword, almost seven feet long in total with a six foot blade.
Ruby whistles appreciatively. "Nice! It's probably designed to be effective against large scale grimm or large groups, due to how heavy and large the blade is. You would just swing!"
"It also holds dust in the pomell." Orb supplied. Ruby's grin widened even more.
Jaune started to lumber to the direction of the front line, popping in what appeared to be a large yellow glowing shotgun round. ""Let's go." He said, snapping his handle shut. He looked forward, watching the amassing grimm horde. Sure, he had faced more in the Fall of Beacon, at Haven's Battle, his entire stay at Atlas, and at Wintercrest.
But he had friends by his side then. Ren and Nora and team RWBY.
Weiss squinted. "Wait a moment. If Jaune is old enough to be our father here, why in the world would we be fighting by his side? We're far too young to be even in training, much less fully fledged horde slaying huntsmen." the schnee questioned.
"Good to see you've noticed." Orb said with a knowing smile.
"Noticed what?" Merc asked through a mouthful of popcorn.
"Nevermind."
Mercury just shrugged, and continued to work his way through his snack.
The battle was a blur in jaunes memory, shifting in and out with other fights he had taken through the years. But he remembered the aftermath.
Destroyed buildings, piles of corpses ready for the mass burial.
Ren and Nora huddled under a partially collapsed porch, huddling together in shaking fear.
Ren and Nora were gripping each other's hands tightly, as though to assure themselves that they were still there.
"Hey, Mr. Arc? You ok?" Ren asked, snapping Jaune out of his flashback. "What- yeah. Yeah, I'm good." Jaune said, giving a disarming smile. "And please, how many times do I have to tell you? call me Jaune."
Ren took a sip of tea. "If you say so. And at least once more, Mr. Arc."
The two sat there for a long while, basking in the morning peace. Eventually the sun would peak from behind the night into the windows. The clock read nine in the morning when there was the sound of activity coming from the rooms beyond. A very awake Nora came into the room, tugging a Ilia behind her. "Dad!" Nora said, running up to her father figure.
Nora did a spit take that covered the entire row in front of her. "I'ma sorry, Jaune's my whAT?" she yelled before falling back into her seat, stunned.
"Can we have pancakes today? Pleeease? Pleeease Please please?"Onscreen Nora begged. Jaune sighed, putting his mug down.
"Nora you had pancakes yesterday. And the day before that?"
"But I haven't had them today yet!"
"... you've been awake for less than ten minutes."
"Exactly! That's why you need to make pancakes!"
Jaune sighed with a smile, leaning back in his chair. "No Nora, you need to eat other things beyond pancakes. How about an omelette or something?"
"But Dad! Pancakes are like the food of the gods! Or the sloths!" Nora said before having a bit of an epiphany. "Ohh, or the Sloth Gods! Pancakes are the food of the Sloth Gods!" Nora said before deciding to run into the adjoining living room. Jaune turned to Ilia. "what would you like for breakfast, Ilia?"
Ilia turned a bit red, trying to hide away. "A-an omelette sounds good, Mr. Jaune." Jaune smiled. "Of course. Coming right up."
"Aww, it is so cute seeing Jaune being so fatherly." Yang said with a smile as Pyrrha and Ruby were only a little stuck in their own worlds at the moment.
"Ruby, you ok? You're drooling." Blake said, poking her leader.
:"whu- I'm good! I wasn't thinking about anything!" Ruby squeaked, turning bright red and hiding away in her cape.
Emerald leaned over to Cinder. "This is the prodigal leader of team RWBY?" She asked. Cinder ignored her, opting to let her silence speak for her.
Jaune stood up and walked over to the stove, putting a pan on. A fiery red haired bull faunus, no older than ten walked in. He had an eyepatch over his left eye.
Sienna raised an eyebrow at her subordinate, smirking. Adam stared at her with malice. "Not. One. Word."
"I didn't say anything." Sienna said, raising her hands in mock surrender.
Yang leaned over to blake. "You know, I expected Sienna to be more…. You know."
"Taurus-y?" Blake responded. Sienna raised an eyebrow in curiosity, sneaking closer.
"Yeah. more blood thirsty, etc." Yang said.
"A lot of people do." Sienna said from behind the two, causing Yang and Blake to jump. "Holy Shit- Don't do that! Near gave me a heart attack!" Yang said.
Sienna at least had the decency to apologize. "Sorry. But I overheard your conversation. I am a person before a terrorist or freedom fighter. A lot of people seem to forget that, particularly those who benefit from forgetting it." She said, jerking her head to the Atlas group.
"Morning Adam. You want an omelette?" Jaune said cheerily to the young boy. Adam just glared at Jaune before heading into the living room, where Ren, Nora and Ilia were playing with blocks. Jaune sighed, shaking his head. "I'll take that as a yes then." He called out before muttering to himself. "What am I going to do with that kid?"
"Don't worry, he'll come around. It's literally only been a couple of months since… well, the incident." A smooth voice said from behind Jaune as two tan striped arms wrapped around his shoulders. "On the other hand, I heard something about omelettes?"
Now it was Adams' turn to give a look at his commander. Although his was one of shock and betrayal. Sienna rolled her eyes.
"Oh get over it. It's not like it's your problem." She said, dismissing Adam.
"Yup. let me guess, extra cheese and bacon?" Jaune said as he cracked some eggs open.
"You know me so well." Sienna purred as she released Jaune from her clutches and sauntered over to the living room, perhaps to play with the kids.
The scene cut to the six of them around the kitchen table.
"So, dad, are we training today? I wanna train today! Ohhh, can you teach me the shield thing! It's soo cool!" Nora said hyperactivity, through bites of egg.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Nora." Jaune parented as he swallowed a bite. "And I don't see why not. Ren, I assume you're joining us?"
Ren gave a small nod. Jaune smiled, before glancing at the two faunus children.
"You two are free to join us as well, if you want."
Adam ignored him, while Ilia remained silent.
The scene cut again to Jaune, Nora and Ren in the yard. Nora had a round shield and simple hammer in her hand, while Ren had two long hunting knives.
Nora cocked her head. "You know, I thought I would have Magnhild. Is there a reason that I have a shield? Where's the boom?"
"You chose the shield because it was like Jaunes, who you thought was the coolest person ever. As for boom? I'm pretty sure you turn the shield into an arm mounted projectile launcher." Orb said, assuring the girl that she got her 'boom'.
"Alright Nora, why don't you show me your first form. Ren, you too." Jaune said as he watched the two of them warm up. Sienna watched from the back porch with Ilia.
As they finished their warm up, Jaune brought out Caroca Mors and gave it a twirl. "Alright you two, you know the drill. Two versus me, then one on ones."
The two nodded, getting into their stanced. Nora rushed forward, leading with her shield as Ren came up from behind her, using her a cover to get close. He dashed to the side as Nora came into melee range. Jaune blocked with his shield, stepping to the side away from Ren, who lunged.
He was sharply struck with the flat of Jaune's blade. "Oww." Ren said, rubbing the top of his head. Jaune took the opportunity to deliver a punishing kick to the gut.
"You're still in combat, kid! Don't let your guard down!" Jaune said as he parried and body slammed Nora into the ground.
Sienna gave a snicker at that. "Ouch. I remember when he did that to me." Sienna said mirthfully.
Ilia tugged on Sienna's sleeve.
"Yes?"
Ilia murmured something that not even Sienna could hear.
"I'm sorry, sweety, you're going to have to speak up." Sienna purred, placing a hand on Ilia's shoulder.
Sienna leaned back, popping a date in her mouth. "You know, I never really saw myself as the Maternal kind. I'm just glad Kali's not here. She would flip at this scene." Sienna said, partially in releaf. Adam just grumbled to himself, thinking about this betrayal to his and Sienna's own kind.
"Do-do you think you could teach me how to use your whip? Please?" the Chameleon asked.
Sienna nodded. "Of Course baby." She purred.
Adam watched from the edge of the yard, glowering. As the tigress led her pseudo daughter away, Jaune's scroll buzzed. Jaune and his students stopped. "Hey, Sienna, you think you can use the kids as target practice? I got a call." jaune said, sheathing his sword. He walked over to where Adam stood, standing just a couple steps away.
Jaune answered Qrow's phone call. "Qrow-bird, wassup?" jaune smiled.
Qrow on the screen frowned. "First off, don't call me that. Secondly, we need you to watch the kids."
Jaune frowned a bit. "Oz wants you to go scouting again?" he said, his voice becoming very chilly at the mention of his former teacher.
Ozpin looked perturbed at that statement "What did I do?" He asked with a sigh.
Orb chose his words carefully. "The two of you had a… difference in opinion about your plans, to say the least."
Ozpin raised an eyebrow. He saw nothing wrong with his plans and thought they were completely justified. They were fighting the queen of grimm, afterall.
Qrow nodded. "Yeah, and Summer's not here, off somewhere in Calos." Jaune closed his eyes, taking a calming breath. Jaune loved his classmate as a sister and had fought by her side a whole lot in his life, but ever since Tai fell in action, Summer took on more and more jobs to try to numb the pain. Or get some form of vengeance on the creatures that took her husband.
It effectively left Yang and Ruby parentless.
The girls frowned at that. "Mom wouldn't ever do that, right?"
Orb shrugged. "You remember how your father reacted to Summer's death?"
Yang and Ruby nodded slowly, remembering the lowest they had ever seen their father.
"A very similar thing happened to your mother, but instead of brandy and wallowing as a coping mechanism, she used vengeance and her hunting work."
Qrow nodded, taking another swig of alcohol. "Yup, that sounds like something Summer would do. She was always a bit of a workaholic."
Ironwood glanced at the bird huntsman before leaning to his subordinate. "He should be hiccuping and slurring words by now, right?" he whispered, thinking about the amounts that Qrow had taken before and remained sober
"I've been removing the alcohol from his system as he drinks it." Orb whispered into the general's ear, as to not let Qrow hear such blasphemy.
"Heh, good." Winter smirked.
Penny just watched the 'family' train, storing this information away for later. It appeared to be a good reference for blending in better to human society.
"It might take the six of us some time to pack, but we'll watch the kids. You gonna be there as well?" Jaune asked as he watched Sienna teach Ilia how to use a whip. It mainly consisted of Ilia failing to hit Nora and Ren with the crack of it. Qrow squinted as he replayed Jaunes words in his head.
"Six- Six? Six. SIX! Last time I checked there were fucking three of you, not six!" Qrow sputtered at his blonde friend.
"So? What does it matter?"
"What does it-Jaune!" Qrow admonished. "Stop adopting kids!"
Jaune shrugged. "Yeh, yeh. See you in a couple days Qrow."
"See you then, Blondie." Qrow jabbed as he hung up. Jaune rolled his eyes. The scene cut to Adam training with a Katana in the woods, the sun was just setting. Adam went through the motions with vigor. He turned, making a downwards swing, and a straight sword meeting the japanese blade in a cross block.
"Your movements are too large. Too many gaps in your stance, and you'll end up hurting yourself there Mr. Taurus." Jaune smiled as he sheathed his sword. Adam looked like he was going to retaliate, but knew that Jaune knew his shit when it came to fighting. Adam opted to growl instead. "Don't call me Taurus."
Jaune sighed inwardly at the… difficulty Adam presented to him.
"Don't call you Adam, don't call you Mr. Taurus. What do I call you then?" Jaune asked.
"That seems… uncooperative. Is Adam Taurus always this obstinate?" Penny asked, turning her head to Sienna at an angle that was just barely unnatural.
Sienna considered the question. "In a word, yes. Less childish about it, but yes."
Adam growled at his superior. "Be quiet, woman."
Sienna rolled her eyes again. Let's hope that this Mr. Arc can shove some sense into his bullheaded brain. The High Leader thought.
"Taurus was the name of the man who abandoned my mother the first chance he got." Adam said, crossing his arms. "I was given it because they would not give me my mothers name."
The crowd gave Adam a couple pitying looks, and those were silence with a glare. "I do not need your pity." Adam snarled.
Qrow shrugged. He was used to shitty parenting and family members.
Jaune thought about it for a moment. "How about you have mine?" He asked
That got the crowd's attention, namely with Qrow and Adam's spit take.
"He's going to like, adopt the kid? For real?" Qrow asked, recovering from his cough. From where he was from, names were sacred. You didn't just give you name away like that.
Adam just had his paradigm shift without a clutch. Why in the hell was a human offering to adopt him? Him, of all people. It was clear that they didn't get along really.
Humans were just evil greedy people. Adam repeated the thought in his head, remembering his less than ideal past with them. Someone like this Jaune Arc is one in a million, maybe even a billion. One human could be good, but humankind was evil.
Adam on screen gave Jaune a side eye. "Del'Shelsharly?" Adam asked, and Jaune laughed at the incorrect pronunciation.
"It's Del'Shalashari, but we can work on your Teotuche together." Jaune said, ruffling Adam's hair. Adam instinctively flinched away at it, and Jaune pulled his hand back.
"Come on, let's get you inside. Sienna's cooking." At that, Adam paled.
"You sure we couldn't stay and train some?" Adam pleaded. Jaune laughed as he walked back towards the house, Adam trailing behind him.
Blake blinked. "Ok, this is reaching levels of strangeness that I did not think possible." She said, giving Adam a suspicious side eye.
"Don't bother, he's too far gone." Orb said, just low enough that the bull couldn't hear him.
The scene cut once more to the six of Jaunes collected family arrived at Patch, with a tattered red caped Qrow carrying a young Ruby, and a 7 year old Yang clinging to his pant leg. Qrow had a sign that Ruby was holding up.
"BLONDE BLUE EYED BASTARD" It said, and Jaune smiled as he stepped off the bullhead. Jaune surreptitiously threw away a doggie vomit bag
"Qrow, long time no see!" Jaune said, walking up to his old friend with open arms. Ruby dropped the sign, making grabby hands. Yang beat him to it, yelling "Uncle Jaune!" as she cannonballed into her "Uncle!
Qrow pailed, knowing what was about to happen. "Oh no, not the hug!" Qrow said as he too was enveloped into the large scale group hug.
"It's good to see you, and girls! You've grown so much since I last saw you!" Jaune laughed. Yang had started chatting with Nora and Ren, asking about their new siblings.
The camera slid to them walking home, Nora, Ren, Ilia and Yang way in the front of the pack while Adam and Sienna made up the middle with Ruby.
Qrow and Jaune were in the back as they walked up to the large log cabin.
"So, the broad looks a little old to be one of yours." Qrow said. Jaune reflexively punched him in the arm. Qrow really felt that one
A decent amount of the audience flinched at the sound of the connection.
"Wow, jaune's got an arm on him." Mercury whistles
Qrow nodded. "That looked like it hurt"
"Carefull, she can and will hear you. And she's my…" Jaune started before drifting off. What was Sienna to him?
Apparently something good if Qrow was snickering.
"What?"
"You're blushing, like a lot. Like when you had that crush on Summer a lot."
Jaune hid his face in his hands. "...be quiet."
"He's my boytoy!" Sienna yelled behind her.
That got a shock out of the audience. Qrow and mercury started laughing, Qrow literally falling and rolling on the ground. Yang joined in very soon after Those with a crush on poor Jaune were slightly devastated. Damn man stealing tigress Pyrrha thought to herself.
Qrow lost it laughing. Yang had made it to the porch, and was dragging her 'cousins' behind her. One by one or two by two they made it into the house, leaving Qrow and Jaune on the porch.
"So, boytoy, huh?" Qrow said, smirking.
Jaune prayed that the ground would swallow him. "Not one word."
"Just don't do anything that I can't explain to the kids." Qrow teased.
Ruby tugged on her blonde uncle's pant leg, getting his attention.
"Yes Ruby?"
"Uncle Jaune, what's a boy toy?" Ruby asked innocently. Qrow burst out laughing again.
The room roared with laughter again, or atleast quiet humored chuckles.
Ozpin sipped his coffee. "It was nice to see something rather wholesome, although I am troubled about some of the context underneath the viewing."
James nodded, sipping his Atlasian black. "I am too. Was it just me, or did this Jaune seem to be…"
"The only reasoning behind some of this context would be time travel." Ozpin said, and winter raised an eyebrow. "Time Travel? Impossible." She shook her head. Ozpin shrugged. "We would have seen almost stranger things in these, with racing cars and stands and god knows what else. How would time travel be that much different?"
"Would you like to see something stranger?" orb asked with a smile.
Winter shook her head. "No, not really."
"Aww. Ninjas it is!" Orb said as he gleefully started to set up the next viewing. Blake looked confused.
"Ninjas?" She asked no one.