Hello, here's chapter 31. Hope you enjoy it!
Beta reader: RealTerminal
I do not own RWBY and make no monetary gain from this. Writing is for entertainment purposes only.
The airship ride to Vale wasn't particularly long, just shy of an hour. During that time, Ruby had entertained herself with looking outside but was now content to simply wait. After all, it was only possible to watch so much water before the sameness of it became too much. Now that they were over land again, she had the opportunity to gush at the sights, but Ruby mostly felt restless from a certain degree of anticipation of coming back to Beacon.
She would meet her friends in JNPR again and settle back into the comfortable everyday routines she'd grown fond of. Funny how that worked; an hour ago she never wanted to leave Patch, and now she was looking forward to school again.
I guess it makes sense. If we spent all our time back home it would probably grow boring pretty fast, and Beacon is super fun! Still, I can't wait for the autumn break so we can spend another week there. Dad will make pumpkin pie, and we can go looking for mushrooms and just relax. Weiss can play with Zwei some more and be totally adorable too.
Smiling to herself, she glanced at Weiss, who had taken the opportunity to do some more reading related to the SDC. Weiss' brow was furrowed in concentration as she stared at a page with numbers, and she was slowly and absentmindedly chewing on her bottom lip, two traits that Ruby had come to love. The speed at which her girlfriend's gaze flicked across the page was another one. Together, it made watching Weiss a fun pastime when nothing else was going on.
As Vale approached, Ruby looked outside again and spotted something she had not been expecting at all. Airships - of the larger kind.
"Weiss, are those…?"
After poking at her girlfriend to get her attention, earning her a slight scowl, Weiss leaned over and peered outside. Her eyebrows rose up in surprise and the ever-so-slightly annoyed expression over having been interrupted was replaced with one of disbelief. "Those are Atlesian warships! What are they doing here!?"
"Wow, yeah, what's up with that?," Yang exclaimed and pressed her face up against the window. "Blake, anything on the news?"
Blake was already checking her scroll. "Give me a moment."
"Find anything?" Yang finally asked after a tense ten seconds of waiting. The airship changed course slightly, enough so that Ruby lightly bumped against the armrest.
"I did, come take a look," Blake replied. Ruby and Weiss rose and walked over.
"This…" Blake began in a hesitant tone of voice, "is huge. Vale's government has announced counter-terrorism operations in the southeast regions of Vale, close to Mountain Glenn."
"You mean against the…" Yang trailed off. There was no need to say the name because there was, after all, no other radical organizations around.
She couldn't imagine how this would make Blake feel. They all knew of her past and how she didn't exactly have had it easy during her time in the White Fang. At the same time, Ruby knew Blake had been practically raised by them. Among the faction who Vale were now one step away from an armed conflict with, there were surely people who weren't bad. People who had just happened to end up with that group at various stages and maybe to this day still didn't understand that the path they were on was counter-productive.
She knew the history of several armed conflicts throughout the ages. From being a weapon's enthusiast and doing research on arms, her studies had intersected with the history of warfare and how conflicts between various people didn't have the same easy black-and-white moral compass to guide them as with people against Grimm. Often in history, no side has necessarily been the 'bad guys' if one pondered their circumstances enough. To Ruby, the worst part of that particular scholarly avenue was by far in reading excerpts of letters or diaries from those times and then remembering the statistics of the dead. When she was younger it had made her cry more than once as she imagined the crushed hopes and dreams of generations.
Blake nodded absentmindedly, eyes still glued to the Scroll. Her face was unreadable. "Yes."
Weiss exhaled slowly. "I'm surprised by this development. From reading the news it seemed that the government would extend an olive branch, so this wasn't what I was anticipating. How does this make you feel, Blake?"
Blake pursed her lips. "Conflicted. I do not like what the White Fang has become, but I can understand why matters have reached a point where the government can no longer ignore them. The silver lining is that the Vale council has announced that anyone who surrenders and who hasn't killed anyone, will be pardoned. They're citing new education initiatives and work programmes too, so it looks like they're trying to sweeten the deal for defectors, particularly combined with the equality and anti-discrimination measures announced last week."
Relief washed over Ruby. She had always hoped she would never have to experience war, but if Vale's council didn't take a hardline stance, chances were not much blood would have to be spilled. The situation was still very serious of course, and she wondered if the anxiety from Vale's population would attract Grimm to the outer villages. She hoped the 3rd and 4th year teams called upon to bolster the defences would all return safe.
"So you have nothing to worry about, right?" Yang asked.
Blake nodded, sinking down a bit in the chair "Yes, if anyone is to uncover my past associations, I will not be prosecuted."
"That's good, at least. I'm really hoping it won't come to an all-out conflict…" Ruby said, fervently wishing this would be resolved peacefully.
"Me too," Blake replied and pursed her lips in thought.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see how this develops," Weiss added and reached out, putting a hand on Blake's shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. "It seems like the council wants to shut them down without bloodshed if at all possible."
Blake looked up at her friend, giving her a hesitant but hopeful smile. "You're right, we can do nothing else. In a way, I feel relieved. They're doing something about the White Fang, which is much better than the complacency Vale previously showed. Maybe this together with the anti-discrimination initiatives will be enough to turn things around."
"Let's hope for the best, Blake," Weiss encouraged.
"Yeah, and let us know if you need to talk," Yang added.
Blake looked at each of them, a fond smile on her lips. "Thanks, I will."
The moment warmed Ruby's heart. They all had Blake's back and would go to any length to ensure she was happy.
What an awesome team we are! And we have almost 3,5 more years together!
Another ten minutes of travel later and they had arrived on Beacon's premise. As the ship began to land, Ruby noticed how Blake pulled out her bow. Her heart sank.
"Not ready yet? Yang asked quietly.
Blake averted her eyes. "No, not yet. I want to but... for now, it's enough that you and JNPR knows. We'll see what happens with that", she nodded to the battleships in the distance, "and if all goes well and this won't raise the animosity towards Faunus, I will remove the bow again." Her ears wilted noticeably and she suddenly looked tired, "I don't want to hide anymore, and I have grown very fond of not having my ears constricted."
"Okay, I understand," Yang said and grasped Blake's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Whenever you're ready."
"It's your call, Blake, and we'll be here for you when the time comes. I'm sure Yang will beat up anyone who dares to say something rude. For the record, I will join her," Weiss encouraged and flashed her friend a smile.
"I want in on that too!" Ruby added as she made a punching motion in the air.
Blake looked happy from the support and slipped the bow on. It was Blake's decision and Ruby knew that. In spite of that though, she so badly wished Blake wouldn't have to hide. Blake with the bow on looked incomplete. To Ruby, that was the best way to describe it; like there was less of Blake now than before. One day, she wished that her friend would proudly show who she was to the entire world.
All I can do is to encourage her to try and be herself. It's very different from Weiss and yet kind of the same. At least Weiss has made a lot of progress there; It'll be nice to not have to be so careful and sneaky anymore.
Ruby texted Jaune to let them know they were soon back, and the remaining minute of the landing phase passed with small talk to try and take their minds off of what they had just discussed. When they had landed, the pilot helped them to unload their luggage and Ruby took the opportunity to stretch her arms high above her head and work out some of the stiffness in her back.
Weiss only had the single suitcase to carry, and the same went for Blake. Ruby on the other hand found herself carrying two bags - mostly full of books, comics and spare weapon parts Yang and her had insisted on bringing along. The bags were rather heavy and the weight distribution not the best.
"Do you want me to help you carry?" Weiss offered, eyeing her skeptically as Ruby readjusted her grip for the fifth time.
Around them, there were some small groups of students milling around to wait for the next airship, but the grounds were fairly empty. Ruby guessed that most people would arrive later in the afternoon.
"No, no it's fine!" Ruby said, intent on being the gentlema… woman? She wasn't sure what the correct term was, but she knew what she meant and what she wanted to be.
I wonder if I can sneak out later and surprise her with flowers. I'm sure Beacon's garden wouldn't miss a single rose.
Now that their lives would go back to 'normal', she didn't want to slack off with paying attention to her girlfriend and risk their relationship settling into a mundane routine. Dating for life was a concept that she would do her best to take to heart and follow.
Again, the daydream of Weiss in a wedding dress came to her and she had to turn her head to hide her smile, her cheeks tinting pink with embarrassment.
"Hey guys! How's your break been?" Nora's voice chimed across the grounds. Turning back, Ruby saw her friend grinning as she skipped towards them, a full twenty paces ahead of Ren, Jaune and Pyrrha.
Ruby smiled broadly and opened her arm, digging her heels in for when Nora hugged her. Most of the air left her upon the impact, and she laughed when Nora lifted her up from the ground. "Hey Nora, you're happy today!"
"Of course I am!" Nora exclaimed as she set her down gently, only to immediately pounce on Weiss. Weiss flailed uselessly for a moment before going limp. "I get to see my friends. Why wouldn't I be happy?"
"I'm glad to see you too, Nora," Weiss said and hugged back, not quite managing to conceal the resignation in her voice from being manhandled.
"Be gentle with Weiss, she's fragile," Ruby joked, loving the blank stare she received from her girlfriend. Ruby made a show of looking distinctly unrepentant and stuck her tongue out at her, earning herself a glare before Weiss' facade cracked and an exasperated smile shone through.
By now, the rest of JNPR had caught up. "Welcome back," Pyrrha greeted, prompting another round of hugs.
After greetings were exchanged, they began to walk across the courtyard. Jaune had offered to carry one of Ruby's luggage and Nora had relieved Yang of another one.
"So how was the break?" Jaune asked as they walked towards the academy.
"It was awesome!" Ruby cast her eyes towards Weiss and a knowing smile passed between them. "We went camping, played a tonne of games, did some training and relaxed. Dad and Yang taught us cooking too. What about you?" she asked, hoping to turn the conversation around before anyone tried to ask about their relationship and how that was going. She knew neither Weiss nor herself would be able to keep a poker face if the teasing and prodding began.
Jaune chuckled. "Nora discovered that close to From Dust Til Dawn, there's a restaurant serving pancake buffets three days a week."
"It was pretty tasty." Nora giggled and glanced over at Ren, with Ruby just barely being able to make out the beginning of a blush. "Still, it didn't beat your pancakes."
"Considering that we went there at every opportunity, I was worried." Ren smiled softly at his long-time friend. "On that topic, can I assume we'll hold our usual Saturday breakfasts?"
"Sure! It's funny you bring it up, because we were talking about it earlier this week. We all missed it," Ruby said.
"So have we," Pyrrha added and held the door open for them. "What are your plans for the afternoon? We were thinking of visiting the gym in just a while."
"I'm sure plenty of dust has gathered up by now, so cleaning the dorm room is what we'll do, then probably take a look at the coursework for the semester and unpack our luggage." Weiss said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Ruby groaned.
Weiss wouldn't consider herself a clean freak, but she could admit to having a fairly high standard. There was something satisfying in knowing that you cared for a space enough to keep it tidy, and for that reason she didn't dislike cleaning. Of course, it wasn't fun per say, but she did not consider it boring either; just like when it came to training, the end result was worth the effort.
In addition, she could readily admit to taking no small amount of pride in having culled the worst of both Ruby's and Yang's tendencies to drop their possessions wherever they felt like. The dorm room that had once looked liked a battlefield-in-the-making, now instead had order to it, without being overbearingly stiff and cold for that matter. A few possessions strewn about was fine - half a laundry basket less so.
"See, we're nearly done," Weiss encouraged. Behind her, Yang groaned and Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yang, don't be so dramatic. It's over in 15 minutes or less if you put some effort into it. Can you vacuum the floor, please?" Ruby was nearly done with the bathroom and Blake had just finished replacing all of the bed sheets.
She moved to lift the additional luggage Sebastian had been thoughtful enough to send her from Schnee manor out of the way. Checking the parcel, she noticed it had arrived over a week ago, and she made a note of calling him to express her thanks when she was at the CCT tomorrow, and to read the letter stuck between two of the books as soon as time permitted.
Weiss felt bad for how she'd just up and left like that; She had seen how worried he'd been for her sake, though it hadn't taken much convincing before he was fully onboard with her sudden travel plans. She had revealed to him what her father had spoken of, and for the first time in a long while, she'd seen anger in those otherwise gentle eyes.
When the cleaning and unpacking was out of the way, and after a quick kiss as a reward for Ruby, there was plenty of time left before supper, so Weiss occupied herself with taking the first look at the material for the next semester; the books had been delivered the previous day to their dorm.
Yang was on her bed listening to music, and Blake was propped up against the wall in hers, reading on her Scroll, probably the news. Weiss made a conscious effort to not worry over how events would play out. Of course she wanted the White Fang to stop endangering Vale's citizens but hoped for a peaceful resolution; Her previous research into the disparity in life quality between humans and faunus reminded her of that discrimination still existed and what was driving the White Fang forward. Apart from that though, she was mostly worried over Blake and decided to keep an eye on her friend to stop any brooding tendencies.
So when Blake picked up a textbook instead and invited Yang to join her for a study session, Weiss relaxed and was able to fully focus on the coursework. So far, the dust theory was trivial, but she assumed that Ruby would need a bit of tutoring and spent some effort on taking notes.
Then we can have study dates together! I may even be able to bake something for her if I plan ahead a little and have Yang supervise me. There's several recipes I want to try out and it would be wonderful to surprise Ruby with homemade sweets.
Weiss wasn't able to stop a blush from blooming across her face when she recalled their last study date. Things had been fairly heated and she wouldn't put it past Ruby to ask her to sit in her lap or even to do something more daring. Weiss wasn't sure if she felt more excited than nervous over the idea. She surreptitiously raised the book to better hide behind it as she recalled how she'd fed Ruby strawberries and showered her with kisses.
I don't think I would mind a repeat of that. It was nice and… rewarding, plus we did get some studying done. That said, I wouldn't mind if we just sit together and hold hands either. Both moments have their charm.
Peeking over the cover to glance at her girlfriend, who was laying on the lower half of her bed, feet up against the wall, Weiss confirmed that Ruby had not yet managed to tear herself away from the new comic issue she had borrowed from Jaune the moment they'd dropped their bags.
Weiss let out a little huff of air as she tried to stifle a laugh as to not risk disturbing her. Ruby had of course been anything but unable to show off all the board games, video games and movies from home as well, so tentative plans had been formed on the spot for a friendly game of Remnant: The Game when they'd settled into the new semester.
I wouldn't mind a few games of monopoly either, for that matter. Winning was fun.
Reminiscing about the sweet taste of victory in Monopoly always filled with her a sense of embarrassment over how much she had to reign in her competitive streak to not appear uncouth. Winning over Ruby had been particularly pleasing and something she definitely wanted to achieve again.
And on the topic of her girlfriend, a part of her wanted to poke at Ruby with her feet just to elicit a reaction, but she thought it'd be cruel and so settled for simply observing her; Ruby was adorable with the way her facial expressions changed in tune with what was happening in the comic.
"How about we grab some food?" Yang suggested shortly after 6 PM and put down her calculus textbook. She was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Blake on her friend's bed, lightly kicking with her feet to work out stiffness in her legs.
To Yang's credit, she had been studios. Weiss wondered if she was perhaps anxious over the new semester, but didn't ask.
By now, Ruby had since about two hours ago joined Weiss in digging into the text books. With the way Ruby was sitting close enough that their arms and legs touched, Weiss had very little to complain about, apart from the bed's headboard ever so slightly digging into her back. However, the comfort of being close to her girlfriend more than made up for that. Just sitting together like this was intimate and reassuring, as each girl jotted down notes and every so often deliberated over some passage. There was a companionship to it that she was sure she wouldn't be able to experience with anyone who she didn't love romantically. Everything from Ruby's smell to the warmth of her skin and her even breathing soothed Weiss' and filled her with happiness, giving an otherwise mundane moment meaning.
I'm almost embarrassed by how much I need physical affection ever since Ruby and I had… sex. It's nice though, it's definitely nice to just be so close to her. I guess my clinginess won't last forever, so I may as well cherish them while I can. Moreover, Ruby seems to be very happy about it.
Blake carefully placed a bookmark in the novel she had started on a few minute ago, having reached her fill of academic literature for the day. "Yes, let's go", she replied, smiling at Yang. "A shame you can't cook for us anymore. The cafeteria food is not nearly as tasty."
Yang actually blushed at that, a smile pulling at her lips from the praise. "Maybe we can use the communal kitchen occasionally, if we plan ahead a bit."
Weiss nudged Ruby's shoulder, startling her slightly. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were focusing so intently. Yang asked if we should have supper. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah." Ruby closed her textbook. "I need a break anyway. Thanks for helping me study, Weiss; I feel pretty good about what I've learned so far so maybe the new semester won't be that much more challenging." Ruby turned around to face her, her eyes flicking downwards momentarily as her gaze gained a certain level of intensity to it.
Knowing what was about to happen, Weiss smiled and tilted her head. A moment later, they met in a soft kiss. Ruby gently cupped her cheek and pressed their lips together a few more times. "Love you, Weiss," she said softly, bumping their noses and giggling when she'd had her fill of kisses.
"I love you too," Weiss replied, feeling her heart swell with affection. At the same time, there was a yearning in her from not feeling Ruby's lips on her own any longer, nor her body resting against her. She realized she wanted more. However, making out with an audience wasn't something she fancied. Hugs, a chaste kiss or two, and even some cuddling were all acceptable forms of affection by now though.
Ruby heaved herself up to a sitting position to get out of the bed, but Weiss wanted to surprise her, so she caught Ruby in her arms and pulled her towards her. Ruby wasn't able to keep her balance and fell forward with a small yelp, unwittingly draping herself over Weiss.
Upon impact, Weiss huffed from added weight, but she didn't let go and hugged Ruby close, her girlfriend wiggling about just enough for them to find a somewhat comfortable position.
"You're very affectionate right now," Ruby observed as she rested her head on Weiss' shoulder.
Weiss nodded, tightening her grip and nuzzling Ruby's head. "I'm sure you like it."
Ruby giggled and cuddled closer. "Of course I do.
She focused her attention on the sensation of Ruby's body against herself, feeling the swell of Ruby's breasts press against her own chest. Her mind flashed to when she'd last been intimate with Ruby, all those tantalizing images and memories racing through her mind.
Weiss wondered when they would have the opportunity to spend some time alone together and… have sex again. Even as her face tinted red again, she didn't reject her desire; Weiss knew she would be lying to herself if she claimed she didn't want to experience that euphoria again.
Feeling her heartbeat pick up and her face growing red, Weiss burrowed her nose in Ruby's hair instead, enjoying the sports shampoo she had used and focusing on the warmth her girlfriend exuded. She thought she was even able to make out Ruby's heartbeat.
Weiss looked over to her friends, having nearly forgotten they were in the same room. Both of them tried to mind their own business and give them a few moments of privacy, but she caught Yang's glance for a moment. Ruby's sister grinned at her and gave a thumbs up when caught.
Weiss blushed.
After planting a soft kiss to the top of Ruby's head, she reluctantly let her catch go to not keep the others waiting any longer. "Let's go have supper before Yang starves to death."
Blake jumped down from the bed and stretched, raising her hands high above her head and twisting herself left and right. She groaned as her back cracked. "I sat for way too long this time. Shall we go?"
"Let me ask JNPR first," Ruby said and moved out of the bed. "They should be back from their training session, right?" Receiving a nod of confirmation from Blake, Ruby opened the dorm and walked over to the JNPR dorm room and knocked.
Weiss followed her and as she waited, she heard brisk footsteps walking across the floor. A few seconds later, Jaune opened the door.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Ruby asked.
"After-training laziness," Jaune answered with a grin, only looking moderately worn out.
"We were thinking about having supper. Do you want to join us?" Weiss asked. She thought eating together would be nice and decided to make an effort to be be extra sociable; She still felt she had some ways to go in growing her friendship with the other team's members.
"Sure," Nora piped up and put away the last piece of the protein bar she had been munching on. "Come on, Ren, Pyrrha. Gotta get the carbs in after that workout!"
Together, they begun to make their way to the cafeteria as they continued their previous conversation of catching up on what they had been up to during the break. Despite classes starting the next day, the hallways weren't crowded and they only met a few 3rd and 4th year students, though when they came closer to the cafeteria, Weiss was able to make out the clinking of utensils and laughter.
Then, something happened that Weiss hadn't anticipated. Perhaps 30 feet from the door, Ruby gently grasped her hand. The familiar sensation would at any other time have put a smile on Weiss' face, but now it caused apprehension to grow in her.
It struck her then that she had not spent any time considering how much in terms of public displays of affection she would be comfortable with.
Of course she wants to hold my hand! We held hands at Patch, we kissed in public and we went on dates where we flirted openly, so it's only natural. Why does it have to cause apprehension here? Why does it have to be so difficult? It felt liberating and so wonderful at Patch, so why can't I feel the same level of confidence here?
To Weiss, her questions were rhetorical in nature. She had already figured out the difference, namely that Patch had been an escape from her everyday life and away from anyone else she would likely interact with on a semi-daily basis. She had also been fueled by anger towards her father and the rebellious streak growing from that - two feelings that had since then simmered down by Ruby's presence.
I'll try my best though. I want to be open with who I'm in love with, and Ruby certainly deserves it after everything she's done for me. It's just holding hands, Weiss Schnee, it'll be fine. The worst that can happen is that someone will ask if we're dating.
As she ran through this mental checklist, Weiss focused on the sensation of Ruby's palm and tried to let their intertwined hands sooth her; The familiar calloused yet gentle touch, the warmth, and the small pleasure and comfort the contact conjured in her. She knew what she wanted to do. However, at the same time, her nervousness increased, coiling in her and magnifying with every step.
Still holding hands, Ruby opened the doors to the cafeteria and crossed the doorway. Inside, Weiss spotted at least 50 people. Most of them she knew by name or at least had a good idea of who they were.
Weiss froze.
I can't do this. I just can't do this!
Her father's words of disdain when he'd seen a lesbian couple kiss, the derisive talk she'd overheard on dinners, and the years of thinking there was something wrong with her, all rose to the surface in one crushing blow to her self-esteem.
Her girlfriend quickly noticed that Weiss had stopped. "Weiss?"
Logic didn't help in the least. Weiss knew that she realistically had nothing to be worried about, yet that wasn't enough to abate the growing distress. She slowly let go of Ruby's hand. "I'm sorry, Ruby. I think I need a little bit more time." Defeat welled up in her and her throat felt dry. This wasn't what she had hoped for.
Noting that something was wrong, the rest of their friends had fanned out around them to give them a semblance of privacy.
"Weiss, you have noth-" Ruby began, reaching out for her hand again.
Unconsciously, Weiss took a step away from her girlfriend. More panic began to rise to the surface, and it didn't help when Weiss took note of the disappointed expression Ruby held. It hurt. It hurt a lot more than Weiss was willing to admit. She thought she had been over it - or at least that all her time in public at Patch had helped her overcome her demons.
Weiss stood there, indecisive for a moment before finally admitting to herself that she wasn't able to push through. "I told you I was not sure I would be able to do." Her shoulders slumped and she averted her gaze, feeling too much shame to look at her girlfriend.
"But come on Weiss, it'll be fine," Ruby pleaded, taking another step forward and holding out her hand again to offer her support.
Weiss was all of sudden beginning to feel like the space around here was painfully small and constricting. "Ruby, please!" To her own ears, her tone of voice was harsh and not very kind and she immediately tried to soften it. "Just give me some time."
Her girlfriend's eyes widened, and she clamped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, Weiss. I heard what you said, and I just… Sorry." the outstretched arm fell and she seemed to shrink in on herself.
"Let's just go and get our food." Weiss moved past Ruby and towards the food court. The worried and confused glances of their friends felt stifling to her, even if she logically knew that they were only concerned for her well-being. She needed time to compose herself. Tears began to prickle in the corner of her eyes as she tried to push away that horrible sense of panic Ruby had caused in her.
"Weiss?" Yang asked hesitantly, but Weiss just shook her head. She just didn't know what to do, so she elected to put everything to the side and focus on the food. Chicken and salad with a small serving of rice would do for today, and through sheer willpower she managed to avert shedding any tears.
Once at the table though, nothing turned out as what they had expected. The mood was weird. Yang and Jaune both engaged in small talk the others joined in with, but there was a tenseness to the atmosphere and the conversations felt stilted. Worried glances were thrown around, something which Weiss picked up on and made her feel queasy.
They all knew something was off but nobody was yet willing to try and approach her concerning it again. Ruby sat quietly and looked down at her food, and if Weiss accidentally met her eyes when she glanced up, both quickly pretended like it didn't happen.
And as for herself, Weiss was picking at her food as she mulled over the previous five minutes of her life. Mostly, there was a profound sense of disappointment in her. On Patch, she thought she had finally managed to rid herself of her insecurities and shame that had plagued her. The euphoria of believing she had freed herself from the mental shackles binding her had been empowering, so it was bitter to swallow the truth that she still had a long way to go. The salad tasted bland in her mouth.
Maybe I should seek counseling? I don't know if I can overcome this on my own; I was obviously incorrect regarding how far I'd come, and it's at these times other people seek help, isn't it? Granted, it is not the kind of trauma that the school medical staff focuses on, but it may be worth exploring nonetheless.
She was also nursing a notion that Ruby should've been more considerate. Ruby knew how difficult this was for her and yet she had pushed her not only once, but twice. That had hurt, and Weiss was feeling disappointed in her girlfriend for pushing her like that.
Putting herself in Ruby's shoes made Weiss see it differently though, to some extent.
It would make sense for her to assume I was over it after we went on those dates and even kissed in public repeatedly. Had the roles been reversed, wouldn't I have reacted in the same manner?
What she also found was that the longer the silence went on between them, the more difficult it became to start a conversation. For her part, Ruby was looking tense and avoided her gaze, mostly staring at her plate.
Weiss felt equally much like a villain as a victim. She wasn't sure how to mend the sudden rift between them and the anxiety was beginning to take its toll on her nerves. She wanted to talk this out with Ruby but this was not a good place for it and at the same time she needed to sort out her chaotic thoughts. "I need some fresh air," she advised quietly, standing up after deciding that the cherry tomato on her fork wasn't worth the effort.
"Weiss, do you want me to….?" Ruby trailed off, hopeful and looking at her with a pleading expression that just magnified the guilt within her.
She needed some time for herself. She had to figure this out in her head and wished to be alone with her thoughts, and didn't want to risk her more emotional moments to show and accidentally make this worse. Her stomach churned and she was beginning to feel slightly nauseous as the worrying piled up. "No, Ruby, not now. I'll be in the gardens, just give me some time to for myself."
She tried to soften her words with a smile, but internally she winced when Ruby looked like a kicked puppy from the rejection. Unable to deal with this any longer, Weiss left the table.
Hey, I'm back. Did some light editing for this chapter, but not much!
So, let's discuss the central tension of this chapter - Weiss' regression. To some of you this may feel rather exasperating and frustrating ("But it went so well at Patch!"). Indeed it did, but please keep in mind that I've already shown that Weiss has a strong compartmentalization ('this is this and that is that and they never intersect"). Fears are moreover unreasonable and can take a long time to overcome, and Weiss has realistically not have had enough time to build a solid foundation yet.
Hmm… what else? the White Fang is slowly being squeezed from the good ol' carrot and stick approach. I suppose I could've left it out but on the other hand I felt like not dealing with them wouldn't be right. That stuff will just have to happen off-screen so my fluff and angst won't be interrupted by something as inconvenient as terrorist attacks.
Ah, one more thing! Way back in chapter 3, Nora was hoping for an all-you-can-eat pancake buffet and her dream came true! :)
And as for the drama in this chapter, I hope it was alright. I essentially wanted to show that communication is hard and sometimes difficult to remember - even if you promised one another to be open and honest with one's thoughts no more than a week ago (and did this happen at Patch). Next chapter will of course be them freaking out a bit and trying to make up.
I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and please leave a review if you feel like it.