December 12, 1888

Robert wandered up and down the high street in Ripon wondering what in God's name he was doing. He knew what he was supposed to be doing. He just didn't know how to go about it.

Oh but if that wasn't the entire theme of his life now. He was going to be a husband in just a few short months. Cora would be arriving back at Downton in a few short weeks. As a fiancé now and as a husband thereafter, Robert knew that he had to provide for Cora and make her happy and conceive a son with her. That was what he was supposed to do. The first and third tasks were rather simple. The estate would provide for the both of them, particularly once her money was gifted over after the wedding. And conceiving a child was hardly mysterious. But making Cora happy…that was proving much more difficult.

What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to make an exuberant American woman happy? How was he supposed to make her happy when she was in love with him and he did not feel such love in return? Robert wished he could love her. He wished that the lust that consumed him whenever he thought of her could be turned into love. But it didn't. His thoughts were not consumed with wanting to be with her—not without a certain level of amorous interaction, that is—and he was rather certain that, if not for the promise he made to marry her and the money that his family needed, Robert would feel very little regret if he never saw Cora Levinson ever again.

As it was, he was going to marry her, as he'd promised, and they would have to figure everything out. He didn't know what to do with her. Hopefully Mama would take care of that after they got married. And she wouldn't be staying at the big house when she arrived next month, thankfully. Their interactions would be much more limited, and Robert would not be burdened with keeping her entertained. The problem remained, however, that Robert did want to be a good husband and he did want to make her happy. After all, that was what good husbands did. It was his duty. He just…well, he had no idea how to be a good husband.

It wasn't as if he could look to Papa or Marmaduke on being a good husband. Papa being a good husband to Mama would look far different than for Robert with Cora for the simple reason that Mama could not be more different from Cora. Robert had a feeling that Cora might need far more tending than Mama would possibly tolerate. Though Mama was busy with her role as countess, and perhaps she could take Cora with her for all of that, to give the new Viscountess Downton a purpose and take her off his hands. And Marmaduke and Rosamund were no better. Rosamund was, well, Rosamund. And Marmaduke was very obviously and very deeply in love with Rosamund. Surely that made being a good husband and keeping a wife happy much, much easier. Robert wasn't so lucky.

If only Cora did not love him, he would not have this problem. Robert had seen Dickie and his new bride Ada. They were not in love in the least. But they were cordial together and obviously were committed to their union. Each had something the other needed. Dickie needed a wife to support him and give him an heir, now that the current Lord Merton would likely not live to Christmas. And like so many young women nowadays, Ada was in need of a title. She was elegant and straight-forward and would certainly make a marvelous Baroness Merton and exemplary lady of the house at Cavenham Park. Once again, Robert wasn't so lucky.

These thoughts had plagued him for months now, and as the time for their reunion drew closer, his anxiety only increased. Today was particularly stressful. It was the last day he had to find a Christmas present for Cora so that he could post it to her in New York and have it arrive in time for the holiday. And he was utterly lost about what to get for her.

Jewelry was always an easy gift to get for a woman, but he did not quite trust the post that much. He could buy her jewelry for future gifts after they were married. He had considered perhaps having a portrait taken to send to her, as she'd done for his birthday last month, but that was a silly idea. What would she want with a photograph of him three weeks before she came back to England? And why would anyone want a picture of Robert Crawley in any case? No, he'd have to come up with something else. A scarf, perhaps? Something silk in a nice color? But none of the ones he saw in any of the shops looked like something Cora would like. He did want her to like his gift to her. He was trying, but his efforts were proving to be in vain.

As a last ditch attempt, Robert went into the druggists at the end of the lane. Perfume might be a nice gift. He knew she wore it, but to be honest, Robert quite liked the way she smelled. He did not want to give her the impression that he did not like her scent. Oh maybe this was silly, too.

"May I help you, sir?" the shop assistant offered.

If Robert knew what was good for him, he'd turn around right now and go elsewhere. But instead, he answered, "Good afternoon, I'm looking for a Christmas gift for my fiancée. I thought I might see what perfumes you had."

The man smiled in a polite, professional manner. "Why yes of course, sir, we have a number of scents that a young lady might enjoy. Would you permit me to show you some samples?"

Robert followed through the shop to a wall lined with decorated glass bottles. There were certainly a number of scents to choose from. It was already overwhelming.

"This one is our most popular." Robert was handed a small bottle that the man had opened. "It is neroli oil, made from orange blossoms."

Immediately, Robert knew it wasn't right. The citrus scent was nice but did not make him think of Cora. "It's lovely, but I don't think it fits the lady in question," he said politely.

"Not to worry. How about this? Bergamot is the main ingredient."

Robert took a sniff and rejected it similarly. It was a clean, fresh fragrance. Also not like Cora.

The next one was rosewater, which was far too strong. It was sweet, which was good for Cora, but it was a bit too heady. The one after that was lavender, which was too earthy for Cora.

"I think we're getting closer with these. I do like the floral scents," he admitted.

A small smile spread on the shop assistant's face. "I may have just the thing. I will confess, sir, that we have a very low stock in this. It was ordered from the perfumery in Paris by mistake, and it has not been popular. But I think it might be just what you're looking for." He picked up a small, mauve-colored bottle and opened it. "What do you think of this?"

Robert was not expecting this to be any more successful than the last half-dozen. But with one whiff of this perfume, he was surprised to find that it was absolutely perfect. "What scent is this?" he asked, unable to identify quite what it was. It was floral and sweet and earthy and all the things he associated with Cora. It was at once elegant and seductive, but it was more than that. Somewhat indescribable, actually.

"That is precisely the problem we have had with it. Most customers do not like a scent they cannot identify. This one is rosewater with lavender oil. It is expertly mixed by the perfumist and perfectly balanced, but that is also its drawback. But is it perhaps right for your fiancée, sir?"

"Yes," Robert answered. "I rather think it is. If you could wrap it, I should like to pay and take it with me."

Robert completed the purchase and left with the package feeling quite proud of himself indeed. He'd found a Christmas present for Cora. He hoped she would like it. He thought she would. It was a beautiful scent, and it did make him think of her. Perhaps he'd write a small note explaining his choice. Or perhaps not. He wouldn't really know what to say. Hopefully the gift with a small wish of Merry Christmas would be sufficient.

As Robert returned to his coach to go back to Downton, he could not help but feel strangely optimistic for the first time in months. Perhaps he did have it in him to be a good husband to Cora. Perhaps he could find his way.