CHAPTER 31
Everything was quiet the morning after. Everything was still. Off. Nothing felt right. Sam ask herself , If she made the right decision or did she let her emotions get the best of her instead of thinking everything through?
She love Evan. And she don't want to lose him because she didn't know how to handle her own emotions.
Another day without him. Sam slowly close her eyes and whisper to herself, "you're going to be okay."
She rush to get ready for work. She have no motivation to spend much time on her makeup or hair.
Fuck the makeup. The hair has to at least look decent. She brush her fingers across her face as she carefully examine her skin. She feel a wave of accomplishment for managing to keep her skin healthy.
After curling the last piece of straight hair, she do a poor job of leaving her bathroom neat. It can be fixed when she get off, she try to tell herself. Maybe.
Sam take a minute to debate if she should make breakfast or pick some up on the way. When she see how much time she have left to get to work, Sam decide on Starbucks.
"Siri, call Gigi"
She picks up on the second ring.
"Hello?" Gigi says
"Hey I'm stopping at Starbucks, do you want anything?" Sam ask
She hear a sigh of relief.
"Thank god, I was hoping I didn't have to go today. I'll take a double smoked bacon and a Grande iced caramel macchiato, upside down and extra caramel please and thank you!" Gigi answered
"Okay, I'm leaving now" Sam says
"Drive safe" Gigi replied
"Ehhh maybe, I'll see you soon!" Sam hang up the call, grab her keys and rush out her front door.
"Good morning ladies" Dianne greets us as they walk in.
"Hello Dianne" they say in unison.
"Why can't everyone at the front desk be like Dianne?" Sam whisper to Gigi.
"I know right? She's the sweetest person to walk this earth I swear. We need more people like her." Gigi agreed
Gigi and Sam tries to get ready for the day ahead of them. Sam only eat half of her ham and cheese croissant before putting the other half inside her locker. Sam's gut is telling her it's best to save some because today is going to be a day. Can't tell if it's good or bad yet but she can feel it. She take one long last sip of her vanilla latte.
"Drinking all that sugar before your shift Stella?" Who other than Savannah to start her shift off the right way. She exhale through her teeth. Play nice.
"Morning Savannah. How are you doing?" Sam's ask
"Aww, you care about me? Is it because I'm carrying your boyfriends baby?" She pouts but replaces it with a flashy smile. God how does she do it? Is her life that miserable she must make mine miserable as well? Sam thought
"Seriously? Look we all know you're lying to her under Samantha's skin but please, do you think Buck will ever try to put a baby in you? Even on purpose?" Amanda says
The room went silent as all eyes fell on Amanda. Never has she spoken this way to Savannah. Gigi's mouth fell open as she stared at Amanda. Sam's could tell she was trying not to laugh. Savannah's face goes stone cold as she glares at Amanda. Surprisingly, Amanda's expression remained unbothered and maintained eye contact. This is not how she visioned the start to this morning.
"Have you lost your damn mind?" Savannah's voice harsh.
"No, but you have" with her head high, Amanda walks up to Savannah stopping only a few inches away from her.
"The only person who would actually be misfortunate enough to get you knocked up is the only other person in this city who is as low as you and unintelligent as you. Tyler." Amanda continue
Everyone in the room let out a gasp. Some of the other interns started laughing, watching as Savannah stood there in silence. This is the first time Sam's ever seen her not bark back within seconds. A satisfactory smile appeared on Amanda's face. Without another word, Amanda shoves past Savannah and exits the room. Gigi and Sam and the other interns remained in shock.
SAM'S P.O.V
"How's your guy?" Gigi asks me once things seem to be returning back to a normal pace. I adjust my ponytail tighter, moving the loose strands of hair out of my face. The past couple of hours have been chaotic.
"He's going to be okay. CT showed free air in the diaphragm, we got him up for a small bowel repair and diaphragm."
"This is crazy. A shooting at a movie theatre? We live in a world where you can't even go out to watch a movie without being in harm's way..." Gigi shakes her head.
That is the world we live in. Where it's not safe to go to your local movie theatre, mall, restaurant or bank without knowing if your day is going to turn around. If you'll make it home once you leave your front door. You never know. An image of Tianna flashes through my mind. I close my eyes shut to shake it off.
"Did you hear about the guy who threw himself at the shooter?"
"No?" I give her a confused look.
"I actually didn't even get to hear about the whole story. Only that there was a shooting and all the patients were brought to us."
"Yeah, he's young too! He managed to disarm the shooter. Brave guy... he's being treated over in room 2" Gigi points to room 2 across from us.
My attention was elsewhere when a tall blonde at the front desk catches my eye. I couldn't look away as I look at him, laughing with Dianne. He pinches the bridge of his nose, his head shaking. I haven't seen that smile in days...
When his blue eyes look up and lock with mine, my heart stops
"Oh god" I whisper.
"What is he doing here?" Gigi asks me. I shake my head and shrug.
"I don't-" I pause when I see Savannah come up from behind and wrap her arm around his neck, her icy eyes on me smiling an evil smile.
I had only made it around the corner before I felt a hand grab my arm.
"Sam" Buck call's my name
"No." I spin around and give him a harsh look.
"Did you really come to my job to make me jealous? We haven't even been broken up I just need a time to think clearly, Evan." I asks
His hand was still around my arm. I pull away and take a few steps back, crossing my arms across my chest and my jaw clenched. I was doing my best to seem the complete opposite of what I was feeling inside. Waves of emotions.
I am so mad at him. Actually, I'm more mad at myself than him for allowing myself to even feel this way. Torn. Upset. Distracted. Angry. Broken.
But I can't help but love him still. That will never change I fear.
"Sam that's not why I'm here" he says.
"Why are you here then?"' I asks
He hesitates before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small red box. Buck stares at it for a moment before handing it over. I don't take it. My arms remain crossed across my chest.
"What?" I ask him. "I hope you don't think buying me gifts will make everything all better..." I added
"It's your birthday gift." His response catches me off guard. My arms drop to my side. I haven't even told him about my birthday. How did he even find out?
"Which you didn't even bother to tell me about. Knowing how you are, you probably felt it wasn't a big deal but I do. To celebrate the person I love" he says.
"I wanted to give it to you on your actual birthday." He sighs.
"Christopher helped me pick it out, he was super excited about your birthday..."
My heart drops at the mention of his name
.My sweet Chris boy. How I miss him.
"With everything going on, I wasn't sure you would have wanted to see me so... I came here, hoping you'd accept it. Please." Buck looks up at me, holding the small box out.
My eyes begin to water. My gaze falls to the floor in my best attempt to blink away the tears.
"Actually, I was going to tell you about it because my parents are coming down that week and" I look at him.
"Never mind." I added
"What?" Evan pushes.
"It's nothing. I'm just not big on birthdays but you figured that out." I says
"I don't know if I can accept this" I point to the box.
"Please do, Sam. I know we might not be together right now but I want you to have this." Evan grabs my hands and places the box in my palm.
"Happy birthday" he whispers, leaning in to kiss me on my cheek.
"We may not be together right now but I know we will get through this. However much time you need, I'll wait." He says
Before I could refuse his gift or say anything back to him, he turns around and disappears around the corner. Leaving me standing there in the hall with this red box in my hand. A part of me wishes he would've let me refuse because then he would still be in front of me.
Close to me. Then I would've told him that I was wrong for how I acted. And how much I love him and instead of pushing him away, I should've stuck with him. Not leave when things get hard. It's just not easy having to wait months to know if this baby is even his. It's all hard for me but I should've remembered I'm not the only one in this relationship. At least I can admit my wrongs.
You should've admitted them to him.' Sam thought
"Sam, is everything okay?"
I slowly turn around to look at Victor. He stands there staring at me. I open my mouth, then close it again. I manage to give him a small nod. Given the look on his face, he doesn't seem convinced. I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
"I ran into Buck on his way out. He doesn't seem to be so fond of me still." He chuckles. I turn the red box in my hands, managing a small laugh.
"He's pretty stubborn..." I says
"I can see."
"I, uh, I know it's none of my business but I only want to make sure that you're doing okay?" Victor takes a few steps closer.
His gaze strongly focused on me. I start to feel guilt for being the way I have towards Victor. It seems I've been doing a terrible job at just being decent to those around me.
Despite the feelings he has admitted to having for me, I know he means well and genuinely tries to be my friend but I turned away from him every time. It's a habit I have. Turning away from people who are only trying to do good by me.
"I'm trying" I say honestly.
"Thank you for asking though. It means a lot" I force a smile despite the void I'm feeling inside.
"I was wondering" he starts. My eyes must be playing games with me but he seems nervous. His eyes flicker around for a second. "I was hoping, actually, if you would like to grab some coffee some day this week. You know, like old times. If you want to, I don't want to seem like I'm-"
"Maybe some other time Victor I'm sorry " I cut him off kindly.
"I understand " Victor gives me a half smile.
"Great" "I should go now, see you around" I tell him.
My lips form into one last smile before turning the other way and walking to the lockers.
I place the red box inside my locker. It sits there staring at me. Whispering for me to open it. Maybe I'll open you on the day of my actual birthday, I say in my head. With a deep sigh, I shut my locker close and gather all my strength to make it through the rest of the day.
The day continues on normally. It didn't start off that way with all the incoming trauma we had and Buck showing up to my job but it went by. I still have 8 hours left but so far I've managed to withhold any thoughts of Evan. Sort of. His face would randomly pop up in my mind here and there when things were running slow and steady. At one point I thought I could smell him. It must have been one of the patients, maybe they were wearing a similar fragrance and it triggered me but it smelled almost identical to his scent. Sweet. Musky. It almost smelt like home.