Chapter thirty-one:
DONNA
"Donna honey, just make sure you find her a nice therapist" I hear Mrs. Forman saying from the other side of the line "Some therapists… Well, the most 'traditional' ones will probably do more harm than good"
I'm currently on the phone with Mrs. Forman. As soon as Hyde finished wiping the apartment clean of anything that can be life threatening, he went to bed and I called her. Mrs. Forman calls us every day asking for updates and she's always trying to help us with Jackie's current situation, and I thought she should know about what happened.
She was heartbroken, but the minute I mentioned that Jackie agreed on going to therapy her mood changed.
"According to Hyde that's why Jackie's freaking out" I say "He said that Jackie is terrified of going to a psychiatric hospital"
"Well… Those places aren't like they used to be10 years ago" She replies "But I get why the poor girl's so scared. The things the people used to do…"
I sigh "I know, I've been taking a psychology course in school and I kind of had to study that, which made me sick to my stomach. But... I think I got a nice therapist for Jackie"
"Who, honey?"
"My psychology professor's wife" I answer "I've talked to my professor about Jackie a few times, and he mentioned that his wife just opened a private therapy practice"
"Do you know her name, honey?"
"I think it's Clara" I say "Clara Rogers"
"Have you talked to Steven?"
"No, not yet" I answer, fiddling with the phone's cord. "He's exhausted, I'll talk to him about it tomorrow. If everything goes well, we'll be able to schedule an appointment first thing in the morning"
"That's great! Oh, this is going to help Jackie so much! Do you think that maybe I can convince Steven to attend a few sessions too?"
"Hyde in therapy?" I ask "I don't think he'll be up for it, Mrs. Forman, but you should mention that the next time you talk to him"
"I most certainly will" She says "Ask him to call me tomorrow"
"Will do so, Mrs. Forman" I reply "I think I'm going to head to bed right now, talk to you tomorrow"
"Okay, good night sweetie" She says before hanging up.
I hang up the phone as well and I turn off the lights before going to my bedroom. Eric's already in bed, waiting for me only in his Star Wars boxers, and I smile.
"I thought you left the geeky underwear in Point Place" I mock him, grabbing my pajamas from my dresser's drawer
"Now, why would I do that? You love it"
"Keep thinking that way, nerd boy" I tease him as I start to put my pajamas on.
"Well you better prepare yourself because I've been keeping my geekiness on hold because of everything that's been going on and I can't do it anymore" He says, and I raise an eyebrow at him "I have!"
"Sure" I laugh, thinking about the day Hyde and I catched Eric reading a Star Wars comic book to a sleepy Jackie.
"Anyways," He says "As I was saying… I can't hold myself back anymore because I bought us 6 tickets to see The Empire Strikes Back in two weeks!"
"6 tickets?"
"Yeah, for me, you, Fez, Kelso, Hyde and Jackie" He replies "Fez is coming all the way from Point Place just to watch it with us!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask, getting under the covers with him "I don't think Jackie will want to go, and if Jackie don't go, then Hyde won't go"
"Nonsense" He replies, wrapping his arm around me "Jackie will go, I'll talk to her. And by then she'll be in therapy, right?"
"Yeah, but therapy doesn't work like that, Eric" I explain "It's a slow process, it'll take a while until Jackie's herself again"
"I know man, is just that… Kelso and Fez really miss her" Eric says, and I sigh "They call almost every day, asking about her, she hasn't seen them since the funeral. I think it might be good for her"
"Okay, but you should talk to Hyde first" I say, snuggling closer to him and laying my head on his chest
"Will do, cherry muffin" Eric says, tuning the lights off "Good night"
"Night"
"Hey" I hear Hyde's voice as he enters the kitchen. I put my magazine down and I smile at him
"Hey, you're up late" I say "I was almost going to wake you up because I need to talk to you and I have class in like, half an hour. I got an appointment for Jackie today"
"You did?" Hyde asks, looking interested
"Yeah, I got off the phone fifteen minutes ago" I reply "She's my psychology professor's wife, and she sounds really cool, at least she did over the phone. Her name's Clara, and she just opened a private practice downtown"
"What time is the appointment?" He asks, pouring himself a cup of coffee
"In a couple hours" I say, then I take a piece of paper from my pocket and hand it to him "Here's all the information you need to know, her name, her phone number, her address…"
"Alright, I'll go wake Jackie up" He says, then he gives me a tired smile "Hey Donna, thanks"
"You're welcome" I reply "I have to head off to class now, but tell me everything later alright? And if you need anything, Eric's here."
He nods and I pat his shoulder before leaving the apartment. Hopefully, things will start getting better now, because I can't stand to see my best friends like this.
JACKIE
"Get ready doll, you have your first therapy appointment in a couple hours" Steven says, sitting next to me in bed, and my eyes snap open
"What?! Two hours?" I say, sitting up in bed "But… I thought it would be next week or so…"
"Donna and I managed to find a good therapist with a spot available for you today" He continues "And you need this, Jackie"
I sigh and lay on his lap. His hands instantly move to my head and he starts to play with my now dull hair. I haven't bothered taking care of myself in a while, so I look like crap. I honestly don't know how Steven can look me in the face and not say "ew".
I used to wash my hair almost every day, now I wash it like, twice a week, tops. It's gross, I have to drag myself to the bathroom every day to take a shower, I haven't bothered on following my skin care routine, and I barely remember the last time I put makeup on. My hair has split ends, I have dark circles under my eyes, I'm skinnier than I've ever been, and I even had a pimple or two during those last few months.
"You're… You're still going, right?" He asks me apprehensively, and I nod
"I'm going" I say, sitting up in bed and hugging him tight "I promised you I would"
I feel him kissing the top of my head as he holds me, and I feel some tension leaving his body. God, this man is everything to me, seeing him crying yesterday broke me. I will do anything to make sure I'll never be the reason for his tears anymore, and that includes going to therapy.
"Thank you" He whispers on my ear "For choosing me"
"I'll always choose you, Pudding" I reply, and he tightens his hold on me "Always"
"I love you"
"Love you too"
We're in a weird type of waiting room. It's not like the ones from a hospital or a doctor's practice, it's more cozy, the chairs are comfortable and there's a big variety of new magazines sitting on a desk. Steven and I are the only ones in the room, and I'm laying my head on his shoulder, trying to calm myself.
My heart is beating so fast inside my chest, it's taking all the strength I have not to run away. What if this is a mistake?
Steven wraps his arm around me and starts to rub circles on my arm with his fingertips, as if he's reading my thoughts.
"It's going to be fine, Jackie" He says "I know it's scary, but it's for your own good"
I nod, and I close my eyes, enjoying his gentle touches and letting him whisper comforting words in my ear.
That's until we hear a door opening and a tall, attractive redhead stands in the doorway. That must be the therapist.
"You're Jackie?" She asks with a kind smile, and I feel Steven lightly squeezing my shoulders in encouragement. I nod and her smile broadens "Hi, I'm Clara! Your friend Donna told me wonders about you! Shall we get started?"
She gestures for me to enter the other room and I glance at Steven.
"Go, doll. I'll be right here if you need me" He says, kissing my forehead.
I take a deep breath and I follow her into the other room, leaving Steven behind.
She closes the door and I analyze the room. There's a bunch of windows with a nice view to Chicago's downtown, there's also a good amount of plants scattered through the place. There's a large bookshelf on one of the walls, and the couch looks very comfortable.
It doesn't look like the room I pictured in my head at all.
She gestures for me to sit on the couch and I slowly do as she says.
She looks at me like she's waiting for me to say something, and I shift uncomfortably on my seat.
"I don't know what to say" I say after a couple of minutes of silence
"Can I suggest something?" She says in a kind voice, and I nod "What if I just… ask you some questions, so I can get to know you better?"
"Okay"
"Who's that man waiting outside?" Clara asks me
"That's my boyfriend, Steven" I reply "He's the one who convinced me to come"
"Why's that?"
"He's worried about me" I say, looking down at my awful, unpainted fingernails
"Does he have a reason to be worried, Jackie?" She asks me in a kind tone.
"Yes" I answer, my voice trembling from the effort of holding my tears in
"You can cry if you want to" She says, indicating the box of tissues on the corner table near me "This is a no judgement zone, Jackie. You can cry, you can scream, you can laugh… You can do anything in here"
"Yeah, I'm trying not to do anything, because you'll probably lock me up in one of those nuthouses" I say bitterly, wiping the couple of tears that managed to escape my eyes
"Is this what you're afraid of?" She asks me "Jackie, I just want to help you. Why is your boyfriend worried about you?"
I look at her and I sigh. A big part of me wants to run away from here, but everytime that thought crosses my mind, I remember the tears running down Steven's face and how painful it was to see him sobbing in my arms.
I have to do this, I hate it, but I have to try. So screw it, I'm telling her everything, because I need to get better.
For Steven.
A/N: I don't know why, but I picture Clara as Kate Walsh. Always did lol.
I know this was a small chapter, and not a lot of things happened, but I decided not to narrate Jackie's therapy sessions for the reasons I mentioned in the last chapter's author's note. I will have Jackie telling Hyde how her therapy sessions are going though, because I don't want to leave you guys in the dark.
Jackie's going to tell Clara everything. Even the things that Hyde doesn't know about, things that I've mentioned before, but never gave you details about it. I plan on giving you details in one of the upcoming chapters though.
The next chapter will be up next week, and it's a nice one. I really liked writing it.
Please let me know what you're thinking about this story so far in a review. And feel free to check out my tumblr (zeppelin hyphen and hyphen unicorns), I post progress updates there and I'm always up to answering your questions.
Thanks for reading and I'll see you all again next week!