Thank you!
The Family that Stays Together
by lightpathetic.
"SO, YOU DO REMEMBER I EXIST?"
Zero blushed, but only turned to adjust the phone and to give in to his neuroses which made him check again that no-one else was in the room. He was in his mother's office, now in disuse for obvious reasons, but it was still useful for private phone calls to Leaders.
"Of course, I do, Yuuki. It even feels weird to have uninterrupted sleep at two in the morning…"
"Very funny. What do you want? I'm a busy woman."
Zero's lips curled into a knowing smile. If she had been too busy for him, she wouldn't have taken his call. He liked that she blustered a little for him. It showed she wasn't immune. She also knew his being incommunicado was for both their sakes. Kaname monitored their calls and… he somehow knew that Kaname wouldn't appreciate their continuing their friendship after she… was no longer required.
But he'd given in to temptation tonight. Kaname would understand why.
"Mother said Kaname is married to Princess Sara. Is that true?"
"Of course, it is. A marvellous union of the old world and the new under the Mono…!"
"Yuuki. Please." Zero groaned, his grip tightening on the phone, interrupting her "radio voice" as it rose to a crescendo. He didn't have any patience for the party line and both Leaders knew it.
"Zero, we should… probably speak later…"
"What about you? Why would he do this to you?"
There was chuckle then from the other end of the line. Zero thought she was laughing at his naivety, as she sometimes did, but then it… grew uglier. Zero felt his ears burn in embarrassment.
"I… I didn't mean…" Zero stammered, wishing he'd heeded his brother's advice and not made the call. But he knew Yuuki. He knew, under the bluster, she loved her husband and was very lonely. After their initial surprise and disgust, he'd begun to think of her more and more. Perhaps, he wasn't the one to show her the concern. To be that friend. He that had fucked her husband comprehensively not even a month ago now.
"I'll go."
"Wait. Wait! Zero! Are you there?"
"I'm still here, Yuuki." Zero replaced the handset to his ear. He felt rotten for no reason, really. They were keeping them here! It was her own fault! As Supreme Leader she could… Zero realised the alternative allowed for several options, most too grim to contemplate. If Kaname no longer needed them…
"I appreciate your concern. I… do."
"Thanks."
"And… you needn't worry. It was my idea."
"It was?" Kaname hadn't mentioned that.
"Yes. It took care of a big problem very quickly. There are still some things people need that possessions won't fill."
Was she referring to…?
"Did he divorce you to…?"
"I took care of it, Zero. I am the Supreme Leader after all."
"Yes…" He wished… he was there for her.
"You know," Yuuki began, as if to slay the uneasy silence. "I think we'll be seeing each other soon."
"Really?" Zero perked up. Was she coming here?
"Yes. But I can't say any more…"
"I understand," Zero said quickly, assuring her he knew she should consider her safety and not divulge details over the telephone.
"I'm… looking forward to it."
"So do I, Yuuki. Good night."
"Good night, Zero."
"MA'AM! THE SECOND LEADER REQUESTS that he be allowed to return his things, Ma'am!"
Shizuka folded her arms and darted an accusatory glance over at her housekeeper, who had answered the door and immediately said it was for her without more, thus luring her into this foolishness. They were all in cahoots with him, didn't she know it?
And doesn't he care how this looks? One little bit? Like he was too cowardly to do this himself? Or maybe he knew she would take one look at George's adorably babyish features and just let him get his way. She wouldn't put it past him. Knowing him, he'd probably been informed of the time she'd reached out and tried to pinch his cheeks.
Shizuka looked behind the swarm of soldiers, bags and boxes in the hallway for any tall, autocratic brunettes before responding.
"George, what if I refuse?"
"Ma'am! We're not to leave until we execute our order, Ma'am!"
We'll see about that.
"No! The answer is 'no'. His Aspiring Excellence, the Second Leader over the Dominion of the Monoliths and All to Come," she inhaled here, not even sure all of that was right, "can go live with his wife!"
Shizuka closed the door and leaned against it, trying to harden her heart, trying not to listen for at least one of the junior officers going to inform the Second Leader of her stance. She did, after a few minutes, turn to press her ear against the door…
"Ma'am, we can see that you're listening at the door, Ma'am!"
Shizuka huffed in unholy exasperation as her housekeeper suddenly turned and busied herself with wiping down the already spotless counter. These people…!
She opened the door and wordlessly gestured for them to come in.
"Ma'am…?"
"His old room, of course!" she replied, a little insulted that they had hovered uncertainly next to the dining table as though they were informed of a crucial change in the arrangements. Just because she had been weak and… Shizuka started to colour as she thought of just where his tongue had been on her… No doubt he wanted just that result, the bastard! Blessedly, the soldiers had turned away to follow her housekeeper by then. She noted the subtle gloating they had. They were too professional and mindful of the Second Leader's uncompromising standards to be overt about it but it was in their extra straight backs and the extra flourishes as they stomped around her apartment… Shizuka shoved her feet into her work shoes by the door.
"I'm going to leave now, Heather! Make sure they do not put anything into my room!"
"Yes, Ma'am!"
SLAM!
SHIZUKA WAS STILL STEWING about the nerve of certain married people as she inspected another piece for her museum. It was an ancient, intricately woven and embroidered ceremonial robe which had not been kept in the best circumstances in the vault. She was trying to decide how or whether to save it, when…
"Ma'am?"
"Susan, just come out with it! I've told you this before. I'm just a civilian. You needn't stand on ceremony like this." It was the foul mood, you see. Normally she tried really hard to not take out her frustrations with said married person on the personnel around her who insisted on treating her like a Leader and not someone who was just… living with one.
How could she have been so weak? Shizuka, berated herself, having her usual morning-after crisis around mid-day. Why couldn't she stop herself? Why did she find him so… delicious? Yes, he was handsome but she'd dated far more handsome men without this… this all-encompassing physical reaction. What wouldn't she be doing to him now if there were no complications? If there was a cabin somewhere and no-one would ever see or find out… Kaname would be trying to escape her, begging for mercy for his sore co…
But dammit! She knew she had to tell them what she was doing with their… what? Boyfriend? Had to. Hell, the secret was itself killing her, would kill her relationship with her sons. She knew they would forgive her if she just came clean… But she was too ashamed. She had been the one trying to get him killed, to free them. She had been the one to be annoyed with Zero for letting his heart rule his head. Now…
God, he was sexy. Just his smile made her ache in ways that made her think of sitting on his face until she found relief. Now, she knew he knew how to give her relief. With just his tongue and those lips… She'd even thought about that, a few times, during her shower...
How did you fight that, huh? How?! God in heaven! She'd spent months rootling around this pinnacle of religious devotion and He or She couldn't even send her one clue?!
Still, if she stopped it, before it went too far, before she gave in to the temptation to ride his long, thick… attributes to a whole other level of bliss… and heartache, she could still confess to her sons while presenting it as a mistake born of duress and that she'd only, technically, kissed him – all over, but still… - from which she had saintly ceased and corrected herself…
"Ma'am!"
"Yes!" Shizuka called down, from her perch on a storage shelf in the stuffy vault, then looked. "What is it?"
"Her Royal Highness, the Princess Regent, Ma'am. She insists on…"
"Shizuka! Shizuka! Are you going to work all day? How about some tea? My treat!"
OKAY, THE LAST THING SHIZUKA wanted was to go anywhere with this woman. She also knew she had been a most impolite hostess to not have checked in on her by now. So, it had been unavoidable that they would meet and speak. Especially as she'd told Kaname it was all in the past, right? Now that he was fixated on moving to the Palace and bringing them along, right? She couldn't very well tell her to go to hell. So,…
"Thank you very much for the invitation."
Sara waved away the stilted politeness and gestured to her saucer.
"Go on! They're not poisoned, see?"
Sara took the biscuit (cookie) off Shizuka's saucer and bit into it before offering the same cookie for her to bite, the same spot, pressing it to her lips, in her eyes an unspoken command.
Shizuka took the empire biscuit with extra jam and icing from her, turned it slightly and bit into it. It was good. She took another bite before reaching for her cup which Sara took up to blow over rim, ostensibly to cool it, really to…
"Sara…" Shizuka began testily. Not this shit again.
Okay. To start from the beginning would take too long but, it should suffice to say that Shizuka and Sara knew each other very well. A lot better than they'd let on to Kaname or even their own families.
They were alone in the honeymooners' apartment, Kaname having disappeared to his duties, leaving the women in his life to their own devices, after some unreasonable orders as to his living arrangements. Shizuka had been busy with her museum hobby. Sara, it seemed, had procured some baking ingredients and had spent the morning recreating her famous biscuits. At least, famous to Shizuka. She'd gained fifteen pounds in college living with her…
"You're so thin now," Sara observed, her eyes roving familiarly over her as she admitted defeat, returned Shizuka's cup and sat back into her seat on the other side of the intimate breakfast table near the French doors that overlooked the City. "I liked the extra padding around your hips. There was more to grab…"
"Sara, you really shouldn't speak like that to me."
Sara laughed, a throaty sound that Shizuka once enjoyed listening to.
"Look at you. Being a dictator's side-piece agrees with you!"
"I mean it, Sara. Also, you don't know who's listening…"
"Let them hear.
"Was my husband with you last night?"
Shizuka didn't answer directly, choosing to take up and bite the other "biscuit" on her saucer instead. It was pretty obvious given Kaname had had the poor form to leave his wife the morning after the welcome cum celebratory banquet in spectacular fashion given the number of soldiers, and returned to her apartment. He really could be a bastard. She could have felt some sympathy for Sara, except, well… for who she was. There was a reason she'd had so many husbands. She normally did this shit to them…
"Why? What could you possibly have to offer him?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Shizuka teased, raising her cup to take a sip to clear the sweetness, while contemplating reaching for another from the pile on the gold serving platter in the centre of the table. Damned if she could explain that herself, anyway. None of them knew why Kaname had fixated on them like this. Probably Kaname included. Still, Sara was the type to try to find out, adapt.
Take over.
She was welcomed to him, Shizuka thought.
"I'm surprised at you. The girl I used to know…"
"That stupid, naïve girl you used to kn…"
"That sweet, sweet girl," Sara continued, her voice lowering on the double-entendre, "would never have tolerated such a person. You protested nude against our war for those South-Pole Islands…"
"I wasn't nude. I wore a sandwich board. And times have changed, clearly, and so have I. One has to recalibrate all one's priorities when faced with the dregs of utter misfortune. Especially when it's orchestrated by a functioning sociopath that knows just enough about you to make it unbearable."
Sara caught the unsubtle change of topic.
"Yes… About... what happened…"
"'What happened'?! Oh, did you mean to refer to what you did to me and my children?" Shizuka sneered, her composure gone. "Are you going try to get me to accept an apology here of all places? And now?"
"Stop pretending you hate me. You don't hate me. You don't because you understand why. More than anyone else…"
"Stop! Stop…! Seriously. We can't even talk… Just leave it. It's in the past."
Shizuka rose from the table, took a biscuit (cookie) from the serving plate and headed over to the windows, her eyes looking for eavesdroppers as she munched on it. Would be nice to be able to discuss it i.e. tell her off until her skin melted from her body. Maybe. Maybe not.
"Shizuka, what about your tea? Come back to the table, Caramel…"
Shizuka swung around immediately, her eyes blazing, the remainder of the cookie slamming into the floor.
"Do not call me that! You lost the right to…"
She realised her error. She took a breath. Then another.
"I have to go…"
"Wait. Shizuka. Dammit. Stop!"
Shizuka stopped. Sara's voice was raised. It spooked her. Despite her having lived here longer, maybe because of it, she feared the outcome of the inevitable quizzing should the soldiers report on her activities. Their activities. Could Kaname easily decide he needed Sara more than her? He could. What was she when he had a Princess Regent? Or even, her more than Sara? He'd hinted at that earlier. Who knew with him? She turned from the door and walked back into the apartment to face her. That's it. Survival.
"What?"
"I'd wanted to talk to you about…"
"I have no control over Kaname. He comes and goes as he pleases. I did move his things in here. He moved them back. If you want your husband, you'll need to speak to him."
Sara smiled, her hands raised to give a silent standing ovation. Shizuka gritted her teeth in anger. Yes, she'd worked on that speech all morning. Yes, she'd hoped it hadn't sounded rehearsed.
"Fuck you. What do you want?" Shizuka asked through her teeth.
"I realise we'll be in each other's lives for the foreseeable future. Kaname wants to return home after a few weeks. I suspect… you will be coming with him as… whatever you are to him?"
Shizuka knew Sara was trying to goad her. She took a few beats before speaking.
"Not if I get my way."
"Really. You don't want to come?"
"No. I do not. I'd rather go home." She hoped he was listening.
"Oh. Do you mean to your husband's place…? Isn't that…?"
"Gone. I know. I meant…"
"No. Under construction. Isn't that why you're here?"
Shizuka paused, visibly reeling, her eyes watering.
"Yes. It is." Good save!
"You're lying. You didn't know, did you? We stopped by on our way here, Kaname and I. The mansion is much bigger than I remember it. Looks like barracks to me. Probably a good place for them considering the prime location."
Shizuka turned away from her and went over to the sofa to sit. She felt… unbound to reality. Didn't stop her seeing Sara's face swim into focus.
Why didn't he tell her? He knew they were worried sick about it!
She has to be lying! She's a liar!
"I had a lovely time, despite the drawbacks of a construction site. He even showed me around, pointing out where he used to live, the pond, the stables. You'd get the impression he'd lived there all his life from the way he spoke, looked... In fact, I was about to classify him as one of my better husbands, but then we came here. That was the exact end of his… indulgence of me."
"I didn't say anything much to him, Sara. I told him the same damned story I've told the last thirty years."
"I know. I think it was my mistake. I chose not to say anything when we'd visited," Sara whispered, going to sit beside her, her thigh pressing hers familiarly. "If I had, he would have had warning, done more research on me. On us. Prepared. Perhaps, we would not have even seen each other again…"
"You don't mean…?"
Shizuka pressed her hand to her mouth and looked away. She was an open book. Sara took her hand to get her attention. She got it.
"I mean he wouldn't have brought me here. I get that he is very protective of what he has… here.
"Do you think there's any hope to win back his trust?"
Great, she was being pumped for information. She'd known that she would be, hadn't she? Sara would start small and then move up to the military secrets. Did she tell her now or later that Kaname never let any of them near his work? Even here, she was carefully controlled.
"Kaname does hate being lied to. He already suspects we're hiding something. But he thinks it's details of an old rivalry over a beau…"
"That's rich, isn't it? Caramel…"
"Stop it!"
Shizuka grabbed Sara's hand to stop its progress along her thigh and got to her feet. Sara sat back into the sofa and laughed.
"'Salted Caramel'. I'll bet he already knows why I call you that. There were times I truly could have licked you all day. Shall we compare notes, Shizuka? Does he know about that spot to the left of your…?"
"I wish I could solve this for you, Sara. I do. But we've been trying to get free of this for years. It's up to him…"
"'We'?"
"Zero, Ichiru and I. My sons."
"They're hostages? What do you mean? Is he using them to force you to stay here?"
Shizuka submitted to Sara's grabbing her shoulders, she having followed her upon the mention of her children. Shizuka became mesmerised by her blue stare, her gorgeous eyes... filled with concern? She supposed it was.
It had been she, after all, who had turned down Sara's offer, years ago and then… again around the time it all crashed and burned around her. All she'd had to do was give in. Let her love her. They'd even… Shizuka looked away, her cheeks burning, her mind full of the last time they'd been intimate. Sara face dying slowly from ecstatic enthusiasm at waking to find her still beside her, to deep morose melancholy as Shizuka told her again she couldn't do this…
Why? She didn't know. She had loved her. All through school, up until…
Her offer… would have saved her. Saved them. The estate. Everything. But, Sara was… just not enough for her. She just wasn't. And, it would have been wrong to pretend otherwise.
Yet, she'd led her on in her desperation to get her to help her, then… she couldn't any longer. No wonder Sara'd exploded, refused to help. Systematically set out to destroy the thing that she couldn't have. It had caused more of the guilt that had almost broken her. Watching her sons' struggle when it was all her fault…
You couldn't sell yourself? Like they had? What made you so special?
"It's all… very complicated."
"Complicated…?"
Shizuka's eyes showed her defeat, harkening back to the dark days of what she'd considered as her failure as a mother. Sara dropped her arms away from her, trying not to show the relief that suffused her.
"I see. I think… you mean… Kaname is complicated."
"I'm sorry…"
Sara scoffed and waved away her concern.
"There were several theories on the subject. Thanks for clearing them up! It's a shame your sons are back to their old tricks, though."
"You cunt! It's not like that!"
"I knew they'd probably shown you a few things when you'd last come to see me. It's just that you couldn't manage the follow through. I take it that's changed?"
Shizuka balled her fists, contemplated horrifying violence, decided against it and spun on her heel. They can all think what they liked. They could all go to hell.
"Shizuka…"
"I don't think we have to impose on each other any longer…"
"What did I do wrong? What? Could you just… tell me?"
Shizuka stopped, her hand on the door-knob, her body aching to be free of this situation. Of all the people in the world Kaname'd had to marry…!
"Besides doing your best to make the choice a toss-up between living my blighted life or sanding my privates down to a blunt bloody nub with extra-coarse sandpaper?"
"You know what I mean. If you can do this with him…"
"You didn't do anything, Sara! We fell out of…"
"'We'?" Sara bristled. "I've never…!"
"Alright. I did. I fell out of love with you. I don't know why. But I did. And when you made the offer… I knew you still loved me and I loved you too much to do that to you. You deserved…"
"So, you love Kaname?"
Shizuka shook her head, really to signify she didn't know how to answer but Sara's eyes hardened.
"Yet you gave yourself to him? I see. So, it really was that I was too small a fish…"
"It's not like that! I just told you we've been trying to…!"
"Like mother, like sons, right? I'm done here, Shizuka. I'll box up the rest of these and have them delivered. Okay?"
Shizuka lowered the hand she had raised to touch her, to make her see… and turned to go. Maybe it was for the best she thought the worst of her.
Maybe now, she would heal.
"EARTH TO KANAME!"
"Yes, Sara?" Kaname replied, doing this thing that always unnerved her, closing his eyes before he looked at her and smiled, as if… to gather strength to deal with some unpleasant thing. Sara thought he had no real cause to consider her this way. Certainly, they'd butted heads before, given how their relationship had started. Still, he'd been just as enthused to do this, to join their forces. The benefits had been mostly good. And… she was not looking to change him. Not at all.
Sara'd had to end the war, of course. She'd read up on the Second Leader, noted he was the strategic brains behind the Monoliths, and sent a message inviting him to meet. The Second Leader, fortunately, had agreed. He wasn't what she'd expected from the reports. She'd expected a crude, cruel barbarian who took pride in torturing elites. Her mistake. He'd treated her with respect during their initial meeting, the negotiations, even if demanding the world, her world. But she'd held firm, laying out the enormous task ahead to conquer the other Channel Countries and how his use of the plague was a reputational nightmare that could backfire. It was only steeling the world against him. He'd said later he'd found her formidable, which she'd enjoyed hearing. He'd also said she'd reminded her of someone as his eyes glazed slightly with affection and it was then… she'd begun to think of her future with this person, not letting a small thing like a rival of the heart deter her.
He was handsome, cultured in an… uh… alternative manner she'd become used to, even if he wasted no time with his meals. He was wise and engaging, a match for her own drive to succeed, to vanquish. She'd thrown herself at him after a devastating discussion of strategies to open a front on the vast continent to the south, them both agreeing on the means to bring it to its knees… She was convinced of his perfection, of he for her. She'd finally convinced him that there were better, more diplomatic, more pleasurable ways to achieve his goals where the Channel Countries, or the world, were concerned, his gaze boring into hers as the idea germinated, their entwined bodies a fertile encouragement for what she would eventually convince him was possible. Eight weeks later, she'd gotten to one knee and proposed.
He'd been bemused, at first, before getting up in all his glory from the table at which they were having a late breakfast to stalk with his coffee over to the windows overlooking the west lawn of the palace. She'd felt her embarrassment. It had been on a whim, more or less, her lust and greed buoying her courage. He was a stunning specimen of a man that had just thoroughly made love to her and argued her under the table in a variety of salvos rich with history, about the best strategy to end the centuries-old rebellion in the countries to the north. She'd decided then and there she did want him for herself. She'd expected at minimum an amused retort of the man that had been running his toe up her leg as he'd spoken to her that morning. Not the retreat, not the troubled gaze…
"I'm… already married, Sara."
She'd been relieved then. She'd gotten off her knee and taken her cup over to stand next to him. She'd been sure he'd meant the Supreme Leader.
"I know," she assured quickly, waving off the small detail. "But think strategically for a second about what a waste that is. You've already gained and are gaining what you need from her. She's your superior officer so it is unlikely that her commitment to you or you to her will diminish if you both call an end to it. You should use 'marriage' like we do. To form an alliance respected by the people where there is none. You are a student of history. It can't be lost what it means. As soon as we're wed, you can call these countries and many overseas territories conquests of the Monoliths. And I…"
"…Will have laid claim to another continent."
"A rich irony given, during the Great War; this stout little man had tried to do what we will accomplish handily."
She'd giggled then and he'd gone silent again, watching her. She could see his ambition in his eyes. It had only excited her more.
"Give me a week to… think about it, speak to my Leader."
"Of course," she'd simpered, pressing her body to his, running her hand over his back, down to… He held her arm and stopped her as she was about to touch the swell of his behind, smiling apologetically as he pulled away to get dressed. He never let her touch it. Unfailingly. Even when they made love. Maybe it tickled…?
Of course, the rest is history. He'd agreed and they'd been married in a modest ceremony in the Grand Cathedral, with enough publicity to document the event but not too much to cause any unwanted targeting. She'd been fine with that. Once he'd signed the certificate.
Now, after all that, she'd fully expected, given what she had to offer, that the "rumours" of his steady, unerring attachment to certain disgraced members of former nobility would have waned and died. They did not. Not only that, she came to realise that it would not be so simple.
"Where were you last night? I'd waited for…"
"I was with Shizuka, Sara. I'd heard she was ill so…"
"And stayed the night?"
"Yes. Excuse me, I need a shower."
She knew better than to question him about them. He closed down. It was a part of himself he guarded closely. His demeanour changed, his manner became harsh. She'd realised too late that she would have better served herself to have embraced Shizuka and ingratiated herself to her than to have tried to turn her husband against Shizuka by telling him about her sordid past. He'd known enough to not to be disgusted like others she'd tried it upon. It had been so easy to isolate her. All she'd had to do was tell sympathetic persons what she knew and proposed loans fell through, friendships died… Even her auction had been poorly attended when Sara'd chatted a little too eagerly to some collectors…
But she hadn't counted on his knowing. Knowing and still… wanting her.
As she did.
Of course, she'd known about Shizuka and the boys when she'd gotten into this. She'd been the de facto deputy of state and then the head of state of these countries the Monoliths had been steadily devouring over the last couple of years. She'd been privy to all the intelligence on this man, studied him to such detail even he had found unnerving when they'd first met, even trying to grill her on her sources. Her brother, and then she, had helmed a war with no mistakes except the first; to engage, or provoke, depending on whom you spoke to, an enemy that was as brilliant at it was ruthless and fanatical. Despite their losses, they'd just kept coming and then… there had been the plague.
They'd had no answer to that. To mass graves of people, of children, dead after bleeding from spontaneous ulcerations of their skin. It had struck at the worse time as these things tend to do.
Her brother, after a dear cousin had died horrifyingly, had tried to flee with his family, intending to return to fight when they were safe. Or so he'd said. The rest is history. Monolith history.
Sara also briefly closed her eyes as she lay her head back down onto the brunette's chest, a precious moment or two to gather her composure, to keep her calm, consider her next moves.
She was not used to being a nuisance, to being the consolation prize. After a lifetime of watching competition for her attention or affections, she was faced with a husband that preferred to be elsewhere. She supposed she could relate. She preferred to be elsewhere, too.
What if they shared her, she thought? Maybe, if she confessed all, he would let her borrow her in the afternoons?
Sara giggled into her husband's chest.
"What's so funny?"
"I was thinking of a threesome with Shizuka. For your sake, darling. But… I think she'd have a heart attack."
Kaname visibly recoiled, then laughed himself.
"She would. Shizuka has many… scruples."
"I know."
Sara thought about the long past, about how… things had ended. Shizuka had broken up with her, told her she liked someone else, moved on with her life, leaving Sara to figure out how to do the same.
It had seemed so easy for Shizuka but she'd probably told herself they'd tried something out in college and it hadn't worked. But Sara had known far longer what she'd wanted. Who she'd wanted. And when Shizuka had agreed to be her roommate at university, her father had been ready to have her committed because of all the laughing.
They'd managed two glorious years after Sara had confessed and kissed her, touched her. Loved her. They'd been inseparable. Notorious. Healthy in their affections. To say the breakup had been a blow was an understatement. Shizuka had met someone else and… he was enough to make an impression, to make her think about what she wanted. And it wasn't her.
Eventually, Sara did pick herself up and move on, not easy after loving someone since she'd been thirteen. It had taken strength she didn't think she had. After two months of crying into her pillow – she'd insisted Shizuka stay in the apartment in a laudable performance, that they could remain friends, like before - she'd run into the same impressive person. He came back to their place and one thing led to another… When Shizuka came back from the library and found him between her legs, a light bulb went off, as did she… Shizuka, until she'd moved out of their apartment altogether, would come home to find a past, or that time Sara'd been lucky, a present boyfriend of hers, urgently dressing after having been with her. She'd always been vindictive. Nothing new there. But it was… more than that.
"What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Talk?"
Kaname grinned and touched her chin raising it make her meet his eyes. They were on their bed, enjoying the aftermath of a very good session of intimacy. Nothing like sex before dinner for the appetite.
"I heard that you had invited Shizuka to tea. How did it go?"
Sara reminded herself that he probably already knew the answer.
"It was heavy but I feel like we've patched up a few things."
"Really?" He seemed unconvinced.
"Yes. It's all ancient history but I still guard it like a painful memory. It's why I was less than honest with you and I'm sorry. I should have told you how well we knew each other earlier. It was a painful, personal issue and sometimes… I don't handle it well."
Kaname didn't answer. He just searched her eyes carefully in this way he did. As if searching for the truth.
The truth.
She'd kissed Kaname as soon as he'd entered their apartment, she having summoned him to see her before dinner. Would he have thought of her again on his own? Who knew? But she wasn't the type to just give up, as Shizuka well knew. She was also the type… to appreciate someone who liked what she herself liked, who'd tasted what she longed to taste. She thought, again, of his lips kissing Shizuka, his tongue, his hands, his… After today, her being so close to her, she'd had him out of his uniform before he could think. Yes, she'd thought as his tongue licked her inside and out before she'd straddled him and her insides squeezed then fucked the skin that had touched Shizuka sweet insides… She'd lost her mind then. Breaking as she'd pushed "her", her love, deep inside to touch her heart, then exploded…
As she'd always done.
God. When was the last time she'd done this? Oh yes, Shizuka's husband. Kiriyuu. It had nearly ended their marriage but Shizuka had held on. She supposed she'd known Sara by then. Knew she had no scruples, especially where she was concerned. Shizuka turned her on. Touching what Shizuka had touched turned her on too. She'd even kept one of Shizuka's ex-boyfriends around for months simply because he'd… understood. He would describe what he'd done to Shizuka in low tones as he re-enacted every detail, as she melted into a fucking sea of orgasms. It only ended because he'd proposed. Proposed! Maybe, he hadn't understood after all.
Shizuka thought she was just being vindictive, immature and disloyal. But what did she expect when she couldn't have her?
"I understand," he'd finally said, before moving to get up, to get dressed. He seemed elsewhere. Far away from her.
"I'll see you at dinner?"
Kaname nodded as he pulled on his trousers.
"And later?"
She'd won his attention again, as she smiled enticingly. Voraciously. She wanted more of him. He looked over her nude body, framed in the gold of her hair, in some contemplation before turning away.
"I can't. There's something planned for tonight for the men. I have to attend. It'll probably go long into the night so I'll go home afterwards."
"'Home'. Isn't that with me?"
Kaname only grabbed his jacket and turned to leave.
"See you later."
"COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU…"
"No, Kaname…!"
"Come on!"
He insisted, pulling her to her feet and onto the field near the bonfire. Shizuka was entirely self-conscious, especially when all the others turned to watch them.
"I don't know how…"
"Then follow my lead, Mrs Hiou," he intoned into her ear. Shizuka took a deep breath and nodded, her face set in a familiar determination and Kaname almost forgot about the dancing as he fielded an urge to kiss her. He caught the audience fidgeting in the corner of his eye and pulled away to kneel on one knee, holding her right hand in his left.
"Put your feet there and there." He pointed. "Now, pretend to fan yourself and look aloof."
"Okay…"
She did as she was told and Kaname stood and did a series of deft and lightening fast steps around her, while clapping, kneeling and stomping then holding out his hand to her again.
"The idea is to impress my mate. You take my hand if you're impressed." Shizuka took his hand. As the other partners had, she told herself.
She was then lead in a series of lilting steps to a column where a man from the end came and pulled her into the middle twirled her around breathlessly for several seconds and then let her go. She figured out she was to return to the end of the column when Kaname ushered her out of his way as it was his turn. And so it went. She watched the dancing, the women twirling and yelling and urging the men to impress them. It was fun. Soon she was into it and dancing with some other men, even learning this manoeuvre to "kick" at them as the spun away on their hands and feet. It was astonishing and incredibly acrobatic. No wonder Kaname had no respect for their dancing.
Soon, though, she returned to her blanket on the field to watch. She was thoroughly out of condition from not having her usual duties or exercise around the ranch. It wasn't long before Kaname bowed at the challenging young lady and excused himself to join her.
"You just admitted you aren't 'man enough' for Abigail. How will you live that down?"
"Somehow, I think I'll manage," he returned dryly. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
Shizuka smiled and rocked as she hugged her knees.
"Yes. Very much. Thank you for 'inviting' me."
"Thank you for 'accepting'."
Kaname came next to her and sat, throwing his arm around her and pulling her close, into him. Shizuka tried not to feel self-conscious again, even as a few soldiers looked as she ended up almost flattened against his chest, ensconced in his warmth, listening to his heart, his breathing. It must be all very confusing. She knew she was.
It was after the rather tense dinner with the newest power couple, when she had retired early to her room, that Kaname had come in and changed into more casual clothing. He emerged from his room to frown at her sinking comfortably into the large sofa with her new book.
"Aren't you coming?" he asked.
"Where?"
"The North playing field. For the illihana… The dance-celebration," he'd translated helpfully.
"Kaname, did you tell me there was a party tonight?"
"Didn't I? I thought I did."
"Maybe that was Sara. She's probably waiting."
Shizuka returned to her book, thinking the mystery was solved, when Kaname came over and hefted her into his arms. She screamed.
"Put me…!"
"What you're wearing is fine. Where're your shoes?"
"Kaname! I wasn't told about a party! I can't…"
"I forgot to tell you. That's obvious, isn't it? Shoes. Now. Or you go barefoot on the grass."
"God. Alright! Put me down. I'll go get… Put me down!"
"Yes, Ma'am."
As soon as she'd donned a pair of boots, she'd been ushered out the door, and down to a waiting general purpose vehicle. The next thing she knew, she was on a huge field of freshly mown grass, next to a roaring fire, listening to the music of energetic fiddlers and pipers fill the air, surrounded by people in varying stages of inebriation and mirth, holding a cup of beer and a plate of finger food, all of which offerings were entirely too spicy. She knew because she'd popped the ball of fried pheasant into her mouth and set it on fire, much to their collective amusement. Thank God for the beer.
Now, after being worn out by dancing, she was being publicly cuddled by the Second Leader as she watched the festivities. It was nice. She was glad she'd come.
"You know, Sara would have loved to be here. She's not as strait-laced as you might think. She loves a good party. And frankly, this is pretty tame compared to some of the, uh… experiences she's attended in the Northern Countries, even as part of her duties. She'll tell you she once drank a North Country sailor under the table…"
"There'll be other parties, Shizuka. The men…"
"And women," Shizuka interrupted pedantically, teasingly.
"…And women," Kaname added, his voice dipping at this last for emphasis, "wanted this one with just them and their families."
Shizuka looked around then at the other blankets and tables, the significant others, the laughing and camaraderie. Everyone relaxed and being themselves. She understood now… why he'd insisted on bringing her. They settled into an easy silence, sipping their drinks and slipping closer and closer together, Kaname nuzzling the fine hair on her neck, she running a palm along his chest and stomach, his toned inner thighs… for warmth, you understand. Still, it was becoming fairly obvious what a lot of persons present would end up doing after the event, them included…
Shizuka closed her eyes and forced some courage into her... heart. She pulled away and got to her feet.
"Where are you going? If you need a drink, I can…"
"Kaname, I…"
"Sir!"
These were all said at pretty much the same time as a soldier had approached them while they were distracted. Shizuka collected herself and smiled encouragingly as Kaname addressed the officer without turning.
"Go ahead."
"The boys… we want to start a circle and wanted you to join. You know, to make it interesting, Sir."
Kaname smiled at this bit of flattery, very reluctantly broke his gaze from Shizuka's troubled visage and turned to the soldier on his left.
"I accept. I'll be right there."
"What is that?" Shizuka asked when the soldier was gone.
"It's light sparring. Nothing to worry about."
"I'll go then…"
"No. I want you to stay. It's good luck to have your wife watch."
"Kaname…"
"Come on. It'll be fun."
Kaname took Shizuka by both hands and led her to the area being cleared near the fire. Shizuka was welcomed to a group on the edge of the circle just before they all cheered when a large man dropped a long thick stick at the feet of another. A man in their group yelled "Give him hell, Babes!"
And so, it started. Shizuka watched in awe at the skill exhibited. "Babes" was vanquished, but narrowly. When he came over for his consolation hug, Shizuka reached to clap his back. She'd had him to win after he'd knocked the other down in the first thirty seconds.
She'd been afraid it would be gory but it was all very good natured. The next two were just as fun and gripping. The one rule, apparently, was the first person to inflict three "death strikes".
When Shizuka turned back from watching the loser being kissed by his wife, she was in time to see a soldier approach Kaname and drop a long knife at his feet. The tension in the crowd increased, as well as the silence, as Kaname bent to take up the challenge, and headed into the ring, hefting and twirling the weapon in his now familiar way to get the feel of it.
"A knife?! Can he do that?"
So far it had been sticks and fists, some grappling. Nothing with sharp objects.
"Sure," said Susan, her current "minder", who'd come to stand next to her. "It's up to the other to take the challenge."
Shizuka covered her mouth and watched as the men squared off. Kaname darted a look at her and she shook her head. He returned his focus to the soldier opposite him. The challenger moved first, scooting "crablike" towards Kaname and swiping the knife at first his head then torso. Shizuka covered her eyes.
"I can't look."
"You should. I think the Second Leader is just toying with him."
Shizuka uncovered one eye in time to see Kaname back away and lower himself to avoid another swipe to the head. Shizuka did notice he was watching him, studying him, in that unnerving way he had. His own knife was being held against his thigh.
"Why doesn't he defend himself?"
"He will. He does this when he has an audience."
Shizuka then saw when Kaname spun around a lunge and hit his opponent on the back of his head with the plane of the knife. The crowd laughed and whistled. His opponent stopped and rubbed his head theatrically. Another laugh.
"See? Nothing to worry about."
Of course, she said this so Shizuka would open her other eye at the point when Kaname began to use his knife in defence. The sound of metal on metal rang out in the night to meet the gasps and cheers of onlookers. Shizuka, though, found she was close to losing her bladder control when Kaname barely reached up with his weapon to stop a swipe at his neck. He was kneeling now and the crowd went silent, even the challenger's girlfriend.
"I think Stan is getting a little… upset."
"Maybe someone should stop it…?"
"That 'someone' is the Second Leader, Ma'am."
Still, another soldier came onto the circle and touched "Stan" on the shoulder, perhaps as a reminder to not kill the boss, but he was shrugged off. Kaname motioned with his head for the interloper to leave, which he immediately did.
"Kaname…!" Shizuka cried, but Susan stopped her.
"Don't! You'll distract him."
The challenger moved forward again and began a series of energetic swipes at Kaname, all of which were expertly parried before the Second Leader finally raised his left hand, caught the other's hand during another lunge and touched his blade to the other's throat. The crowd went silent again. It was anyone's guess if he would let him live.
"No!" Shizuka cried.
Kaname released the man and went back to starting position, darting Shizuka a look of warning. She covered her mouth again.
"I think playtime is over. That was the first strike. Two more," Susan explained.
"What?" Shizuka was in disbelief. The man would try that again?!
When the other was ready, this time Kaname advanced. He quickly pushed the other onto the back foot with a series of passes the junior soldier could barely keep up with. The finale was stunning when Kaname again spun, struck the back of his opponent's right knee with the blunt edge of the blade, causing it to buckle and bring him to one knee, before he twirled his knife deftly to change his grip and brought the tip to touch the top of Stan's head, reddened with exertion and embarrassment.
Two.
"Weren't you practicing, honey?"
Shizuka looked in disbelief at Stan's girlfriend. What was she trying to do? Get him killed?
The crowd laughed heartily at this as Stan got to his feet and dusted himself off. Shizuka hoped he would give up but no. He eyed his girlfriend for a while, before returning to start position. By this time, Shizuka'd had enough.
"I'm going. I can't watch any more," she announced, turning to do just that. This was nerve-wracking. She didn't know what Stan would do next given how angry and humiliated he was, and she had an idea that Kaname was showing off, likely for her and… why? She was trying to break up with him, dammit!
"Ma'am, please. It's not a good look for him with the others if you desert him now…!"
She was cut off by screams from the crowd. Susan and Shizuka turned back to find several persons in the circle, one holding Kaname's hand and trying to wrap it to stop the bleeding. His opponent had fallen to his knees and tossed away the offending blade as other personnel surrounded him ominously. A hush went over the crowd as Kaname pulled his hand away from being fussed over and walked over to where Stan stayed, head bowed low, kneeling in the dust. As if awaiting the strike of the executioner.
Shizuka realised they were all holding their breaths, including her. She felt like something terrible was about to happen and she didn't stay to witness it, turning and running off into the night.
"SHIZUKA!"
She didn't stop. She did slow down to walk briskly instead. She wasn't as fit as she used to be.
"Mrs Hiou!"
"Don't call me that!"
"Fine, Shizuka! Wait!"
He'd caught up to her then, going to hold her right arm. She yanked it away. He held her again and turned her to face him.
"What is it? Why are you so angry…?"
"Is Stan okay?"
"Of course he is! You thought I'd punish him over this?"
"Everyone thought so."
"It was tempting, if only to cover my embarrassment. But it was my own fault. I'd lost my concentration for a moment during his attack and he got lucky. Don't worry," he insisted as Shizuka's concern refused to abate. "He got to retrieve his blade. He's probably right now bragging to whomever will listen how he got one over on 'the Second Leader'. I just insisted he called it a draw when he did. Last I saw, he'd gone to his partner for a kiss, while I... had to go catch mine."
"Does it still have your blood on it? You know he'll have it framed... Kaname!"
Shizuka reached out and pulled Kaname back to her as his face changed as though he hadn't thought of that, as he pivoted to head back towards the festivities. But he eventually gave her a wide grin and raised his eyebrows in mirth when she continued to search his face anxiously and Shizuka laughed and dropped her head to his chest in relief. He really knew how to push her buttons, the prick.
Kaname threaded the fingers of his good hand into hers and bent his forehead to touch hers, his eyes closing briefly as if to savour the contact.
"Why did you leave, Mrs Hiou?"
Shizuka tried to separate them but Kaname held onto her.
"You were afraid for me, weren't you?"
Kaname smiled into her face, all dimples, gloating. Shizuka looked away in exasperation.
"Can you blame me, you fool? Do you have any fingers left on that hand?"
"Barely. You'll have to take really good care of me."
"Oh. I will, alright," Shizuka countered menacingly. "You clown..."
Kaname cut her off with a kiss. A kiss he'd been aching to dispense from the moment she'd started choking on the adna. He hadn't told her but the night was also to celebrate the start of a new year in his country. And, traditionally, you brought your most cherished persons, burned tokens of the past in the fire, ate, drank and started fresh with the one you loved. Or ones. Shizuka was in the vicinity. Ichiru and Zero had been called earlier in the day and reminded of his affections, with wildly varying results.
The point is, he was very happy with his life and looking forward to keeping them in it. Kaname succumbed to the inevitable consequences of kissing any of them as Shizuka's scent and taste, the feel of her body against him, her, made him think of nothing but consummating what had begun in his own mind.
Shizuka pulled away from the kiss but Kaname dipped to her ear, her neck. His body throbbed with wanting her. He was tempted to push her onto the grass…
"Kaname…"
"Say my name, Mrs Hiou. Say it!" Kaname demanded, moaning and reaching under her blouse for her breasts.
"Kaname, stop. Please. We need to talk."
There was a brief pause and Shizuka seized it to wrench herself away from his grasp. Kaname turned away from her determined expression and ran his fingers into his hair, trying to calm his heightened state.
"Well, this is a new record. It's not even a day since we made love…"
"I'm serious, Kaname. I don't like myself when I do this with you."
Kaname eyes accidentally caught some other couples on blankets openly indulging in the heavier side of intimacy. His lips thinned in bitter irony.
"Well, Shizuka, I 'don't like myself' when I don't."
"Kaname…"
"What will it take? What do you want, Shizuka?"
"What do you mean…?"
"You know what I mean. What will make you comfortable with loving me?"
"You can't make me comfortable with…"
"So, you're still looking for an excuse to leave me. Is that it?"
"Kaname, we discussed this. What you're asking me to do is impossible…"
"What if we tell them? What if we tell them about us?"
"No! That's the last thing I want! Can't you imagine what it'll do to them to know that they can't trust me to not hurt them like that?!"
"And what about me!?" Kaname finally erupted. "What about what it does to me, huh?!"
"Kaname…"
"You all are the best thing that's ever happened to me! Don't you understand?! I have no idea what I was doing before! I can't even think I was alive! I met you all and my body just changed, my heart… Something awoke in me that just yearns for you! It gave me hope. Something to look forward to. To live and fight for. And now that I've found it, you're sadly mistaken if you think I'll give it up just like that. Over what? Huh!? Some invisible code I can't even argue against?"
"Maybe you'll understand when you have children…"
"Then, I'll never understand given the extent of my sacrifice for the Cause."
"You'll nev…" Shizuka's eyes dipped crucially. "Oh."
"That's right, Shizuka. Not all my scars are on the outside. So, you'll have to explain," Kaname seethed, closing in her. "You'll have to tell me, given how you respond to me, given how we are together, why we can't love each other. What is so wrong with the fantastic thing we have when there is so much ugliness that gleefully exists around us and against which I've had to fight every fucking moment of my fucking life to get here? To where I can touch you, kiss you, hold you."
"Kaname…" Shizuka tried to pull away but he hooked her waist and pulled her against him.
"Do you feel that? Don't you feel this urge to drown inside you? I do. I'm bewitched. I'm floored. I'm… conquered. By you. Just tell me. I'll do... whatever it takes. To keep this one precious thing I've finally found in all of this… pain!"
"Kaname…"
She'd begun but she had no words. Could find none to combat it. Her children's faces swam into her mind's eye. Their disappointment in her…
Kaname pounced, kissing her, groaning as his body all but capitulated. He didn't understand it either but he was convinced there was some sort of potent force pulling them together. Something too strong to have regard for reason. Just holding her on the blanket had seemed to rival any victory in his life. Kissing her, making love to her, made him dissolve into pure pleasure. He looked forward to her smile in the morning, the way she scolded him with a look, the way she cared for him and those around her. Him, dammit! Not "the Second Leader", not his duty, not the cloud of dread and power in which he shrouded himself. Him. By a stupid mistake, they'd found and fallen in love with each other, at a time when he could so easily have missed it. So easily have... destroyed it! Didn't that mean it was meant to be? That he should keep them all for himself? And why couldn't he? What dared to stand in his way when the one thing he knew was how to fight!? Fight! For anything he wanted!
"Kaname… Uh…"
Shizuka moaned as she lost the image of her children and was swamped in Kaname's need, his desperation. Her fingers threaded his hair as he sucked and laved her already tender breasts, she bent back over his arm. She opened her eyes to glimpse the breadth of the cloudless sky and stars seeming to complement the ecstasy she was feeling and give their blessing. She wanted to love, be loved. To give of herself. She desperately wanted to be the one to save him…
"I can't, Kaname. I can't!"
Shizuka pulled away and closed her blouse, adjusting her breasts into the lacy enclosure if only to numb the lingering feel of his rough tongue, his hot mouth against them.
"I've loved them longer than you. I've fought to save them longer than you. Somewhere inside yourself you know you would never respect me if I could betray them like this. You say you love us, then honour that. Our relationship. My love for my sons."
Shizuka saw the desolation in his gaze as she spoke, the glitter in his eyes that disappeared as he closed them and stalked away from her, before breaking into a run.
"Kaname!" she called, running after him. "Kaname, I still care for you! I just can't...!"
She was stopped by one of the people he'd passed.
"Ma'am. I'm to see you home."
"No! I need to…"
"Ma'am. It's best that you go home now. The car is this way."
"I HAD NO IDEA THAT THERE was still so much undeveloped land along the coast!"
Sara was trying. She really was. After the night being resigned to yet again being left alone by her husband to, no doubt, go back to Shizuka, which thought did have the benefit of assisting her with the thornier aspects of her predicament, – twice - she'd had the heady experience of seeing his things being moved back into their apartment the next morning, followed by his return that evening nursing a two inch gash to his forearm – had Shizuka done that? - and being able to make love to him every day for the last four days.
But it had come at a cost, she soon realised. He was polite enough but cold and dismissive. He fucked her well enough, but perfunctorily. She was tempted to slap him and tell him to go to hell but she suspected that's what he wanted her to do, which triggered her perverse nature.
Besides, he treated Shizuka far worse. An aspect she was understandably conflicted about.
Shizuka was excluded from taking meals with him and never mentioned. She couldn't get to see him under any circumstances. Sara found herself carrying messages that came to their door, which he would crunch into a tight ball, unread and with relish, and toss into the bin. Whatever happened three nights ago, had been catastrophic. From experience, she guessed he'd been dumped. He became more of a kindred spirit, and… another exciting ex.
So why was she now in an airplane with two studiously hostile persons, one beside her, tolerating her quite well and the other towards the back, pretending he didn't exist? Well…
Her husband had mentioned over breakfast yesterday that he had to escort Shizuka back home and asked if she wanted to come along. This startled her given, thus far, he would have rather pulled out all his teeth than speak about her.
"Home? To the Kiriyuu estate?" she'd asked.
"No. The Kiriyuus live at one of our properties further to the South. On the coast near … It's lovely there. We can swim, sunbathe, go riding, advance our honeymoon to its limits and come back in a week. What do you think?"
"What does Shizuka think? Does she want me to…?"
"Her opinion doesn't matter. You needn't bring it up."
"I see…"
"We'll be leaving in the morning."
So, her curiosity got the better of her and here she was. She could feel Kaname's tension radiating off of him. And Shizuka looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Reminded her of the break-up from her second husband.
"Sir! We're coming in to land, Sir!"
Kaname nodded and the soldier disappeared to the front again.
This was followed by the sounds of someone behind them moving down the aisle and the bathroom door slamming.
"Why did you really bring me here, Kaname?"
The Second Leader spared her a glance and responded.
"I'm thinking of making a few changes to my personal life, Mrs Kuran and, as my wife, you should be there when I do. Who knows, given what you've said about them before, you may even enjoy it.
"Now fasten your seatbelt. There may be some bumps ahead."
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but (most of) these are not my characters. They belong to Vampire Knight.