"A little to left." General Iroh's voice directs her from across the hall. She grunts a bit as she shoves the giant stone vase.
"Hm, maybe a tiny bit to the right?"
Again, she shoves the thing as hard as she can.
"No, still not quite right." Still observing the vase and it's positioning, he completely misses the daggers her eyes are throwing.
"I know!" He runs off to another room. Mai takes the opportunity to lean up against the wall and take a breath.
"Try these!" He sets two smaller Water Tribe vases on either side. Their deep blue and lighter purple flowers, along with their patterns of beads across the outside offset the giant green Earth Kingdom vase with it's deep red and violet flowers. The flowers were of a special variety, used only for the most important festivals in the Fire Nation.
After a little more pushing and rearranging, he is satisfied. He hurries to the other side of the room and retrieves an old Air Nomad tapestry, found a week prior in the catacombs and brought back to be displayed at Iroh's order. It predated Avatar Roku, but not by much, if old records were to be believed.
Mai is less than pleased with being directed to touch the dusty, rough fabric. She sighs as she climbs the ladder to hang it above the floral vases.
"Mai! Get down from there! Let me do it!" Kei Lo shouts.
Eagerly, she climbs back down and hands him the tapestry.
"What took you so long?" She asks, wiping off her hands on her sleeves.
"I had to get something from the shipyard for my grandmother." He replies, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders.
She doesn't lean into the embrace, but does her best not to shrug him off.
The walls have eyes. She repeats the thought to herself. Mai walks over to stand beside General Iroh and try to get a feel for how the whole arrangement should look.
"How is that?" Kei Lo asks.
"It looks great! Let's take a break for tea!"
As they wander into General Iroh's study, a harsh cold wind blows in from outdoors. The clouds are darkening the sky, and the air hangs heavy with storm.
He closes the window, shutting out the wind and memories of shocks and burns that threaten to burst to the forefront of her mind.
He pulls out chairs for them, and begins warming tea.
Mai notices the new letter, lying unopened on the table. She tries not to think of how many places the wall might be hollow in this room, or where an innocent looking crack in the upper wall might be a window into something more sinister.
The urge to look around the room is unbearable, and she bears it anyway, without giving in. It feels like when she had something to say to Father or Mother while eavesdropping on their discussions as a child. She was afraid to even breathe.
"My dear Mai, is everything alright?" General Iroh asks.
"Yes. I'm just tired. I was up late last night." She replies, relaxing her body as much as possible and taking the cup that is being offered to her.
"If you would like, I can have a spare room prepared for you." He says.
"No, that will be fine, thank you." She says, glancing toward Kei Lo. His slight shake of the head is what gives her the answer.
"If you say so." Iroh shrugs, then sips his tea. "Let me know if you change your mind."
"So, I hear that things are going well with the Earth Kingdom?" Kei Lo asks.
"Yes. Very much so. Omashu has been completely repaired and plans are being made for delivery of news pamplets throughout the streets of Ba Sing Se, as well as a future mail delivery system. Gao Ling is still unfortunately occupied by our soldiers and some of our citizens who have decided to move there."
"And how about the other Colonies? Have you come to a decision about them? I've heard that a lot of people are unhappy at having to move." Kei Lo takes a big gulp of his tea. He inhales sharply as it burns his throat.
"Are you alright?!" Iroh reaches for his shoulder as he coughs. He nods as he wheezes, trying to get his breath back.
"You should not always be in such a hurry. You were in a hurry when I found you, you were in a hurry when you brought me tea last week, you were in a hurry just now. Did you even see the flowers and vases that you were hanging the tapestry over today?"
Kei Lo shakes his head.
"Take time to enjoy the sweet things in life. A few moments of patience can avert a lifetime of regret."
"Yes sir." Kei Lo replies, his voice a little hoarse. Iroh hands him a cup of cool water. He sips it, and stares at the closed window. Thunder rumbles behind it.
A few minutes of silence. It would be peaceful, if not for the feeling of being watched.
"I suppose now would be a good time to see what my nephew is up to." Iroh reaches for the letter.
Mai looks up to find Kei Lo watching her with a question in his eyes. She averts her eyes to the closed window, not ready to answer.
"Dear Uncle," Iroh begins.
"You aren't going to read over it first?" Kei Lo asks, surprised. "What if there's something personal or top secret in there?"
"I don't think anything should be too personal. If I see something, I'll skip it. And I think I can trust you two."
The stab of guilt hurts worse than a blade, and only her years of practice keep her face blank enough to keep her safe.
"Dear Uncle,
I am writing again to tell you about someone I've found here in Chin Village. I would like your advice if possible.
Her name is Hua, and she's a Firebender. But she was born in Yu Dao. A place where there are Earth Kingdom citizens and Fire Nation citizens living in harmony. I don't know all the details, but I do plan on making a visit there at some point. It's sort of in the opposite direction from where we're going now. "
Mai's eyebrows narrow of their own volition. Zuko had already found a replacement for her, huh? It would make sense that he would choose a Firebender for a wife anyway. With Azula and Ozai still alive, and Zuko having gone to speak with them... Maybe they had convinced him that to project enough power to avoid a coup attempt, he'd need to marry another Firebender.
She notices Kei Lo staring at her with tense, uneasy eyes. She deepens her glare at him. He looks away quickly and she thinks she sees a brief flash of sadness across his face.
General Iroh seems to take no notice of the odd exchange between the teens.
"Anyway, people are asking me what we're going to do with the Colonies. I'm getting the feeling that not everyone will be pleased by the Fire Nation giving it's Colonies back to the Earth Kingdom. It may not even be good for Earth Kingdom citizens.
In some cases, Yu Dao being one of them, you can't tell who's more Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation, because the family trees are so intertwined between the two. Yu Dao doesn't even see itself as either Nation anymore. There are bound to be other Colonies that feel that way. "
Mai vaguely remembered Azula complaining about that after she'd returned from a visit to the Colonies with one of her numerous tutors. Something about "spoiling good blood", but at the same time being a "necessary sacrifce for control". At the time, Mai thought it completely barbaric.
Now that she's older, she can understand how binding the family trees of Earth and Fire might have facilitated better control. But, surely even Azula could have seen some Colonies as developing their own identities? Mai shudders thinking of what Azula would have said if asked. She knows the answer.
"As far as Hua goes, she wants to go with me to Gao Ling, maybe find work with an artisan. Do you have any ideas on who might be open to a non Fire Nation Firebender?
Your advice with Lee worked. He doesn't seem to hate me so much now. Giving him space was a great idea. I guess I can get a bit bossy.
I actually kind of saved him from drowning today, so maybe he'll actually trust me now. I don't know if he'll ever like being around me, but at least he won't be completely insufferable now.
This isn't as difficult as I thought it would be, but any advice you can offer will be helpful."
His constant need to help people isn't making it any easier to be angry at him.
Mai catches Kei Lo looking at her again, and she realizes she is smiling softly at Zuko's kindnesses. She quickly flattens the expression and glares at Kei Lo again.
If he's getting the idea that she likes him more than Zuko, especially after his getting her into this mess with the Society, he is badly mistaken!
"How are things going at the Palace? I can't wait to see all the renovations when I get back. Not looking forward to getting back into meetings though. I'm not sure how long finding Lee's brother will take, but I'll keep going until he's content with the answers he finds. I think I still have some leads on Mother, but I'm not sure which ones are good or not. For now, it looks like our best bet may be Ba Sing Se, and luckily, that's where I'm going with Lee."
Mai realizes that she does miss traveling and seeing the world. Just a little. It had been uncomfortable, and she couldn't really express her admiration of certain places they had been for fear of Azula, but it had been fun at times.
She wonders what it would be like to travel freely. To just pick a direction and go, and do nothing but enjoy the scenery around her and the people she might meet, without anybody looking over her shoulder or telling her what to do.
Sadness settles in her chest as she realizes that her opportunity for that has ended with the war. She was blind to the possibility of it until now, when the door has already been closed.
"I'll be home by next year, I think.
Tell Mai that I love her and think of her every day. I really miss her. And I don't have any right to ask her forgiveness. Wait, don't tell her that last part! It sounds too...pathetic. Maybe. Just tell her I love her! Or miss her. Whatever seems less... weird.
Sincerely,
Zuko "
Mai finds herself the target of both General Iroh and Kei Lo's attention now, and no amount of glaring will fend them off.
So she doesn't glare. She lets them look all they like.
Just try to read my face! I've had almost seventeen years of thorough teaching and practice! She challenges in her mind.
"Kei Lo, if you could give me a few moments with Mai, please?"
"Of course, sir!" Kei Lo gets up and tries to catch Mai's eye one last time before he closes the door. She doesn't give him the satisfaction.
"Why so tense, my dear Mai? I'm not going to yell at you." He gets more tea for her.
The storm outside has moved on, and thunder rumbles softly in the distance.
Mai does her best to relax. She can't endanger anyone by telling him of the spies in the walls.
"That's better. Allow your chi to flow like water, and ease all your pains and troubles." He approves.
Mai gets the feeling he doesn't need to look at her to tell what she's feeling. And it scares her to death.
"It seems Kei Lo has taken quite a liking to you." He jumps straight to the point.
"I suppose so." She shrugs and does her best to sound bored. She feels somewhat guilty, as if Iroh has discovered her doing something despicable. She blames the feeling on the Society and her situation with them.
"And do you like him? It seems you do."
She shrugs and stares at the closed window. Unbidden, an image of the fountain outside comes to her mind.
When the silence has stretched on for a minute or two, Iroh speaks again.
"Young love is like the air. It flutters like a butterfly's wings, and lasts just as long as small gust of wind. Powerful, but it passes quickly." He says. "It wanders, it explores, it is free. It asks for nothing, and yet it gives so many sweet memories." He closes his eyes and sighs deeply.
Mai feels a knot of sadness in her heart for the old man.
"And anger is like a storm. It blinds and burns like a lightning flash. The air is tight and boiling over. But it too passes, leaving a clear, beautiful, blue sky. Relaxed and fresh. Like a deep breath of balance. Did you know that storms are nature's way of balancing the atmosphere, my dear?" He opens his eyes and looks at her.
She feels resistant to the idea of meeting his eyes, but she does so anyway. They shine with a gentle love, like a father for his child. No judgement, no anger, no sadness. She finds comfort in the gaze's embrace.
"I didn't know that." She speaks around the lump in her throat.
"Anger is simply our emotions telling us that our lines are being crossed, that we need to take action to gain respect. Or it could be frustration, at not being heard. Or fear, disguised to keep us safe. Like a storm it rages, and it seems like the storm will never end. But when it does, the air is left clean and fresh. It leaves you balanced, and with a new perspective."
"So, you think I should forgive Zuko?" She snaps.
"I certainly think you should forgive him. But I'm not going to tell you that he's the one you need to marry. Only you can decide that. I'm just trying to offer a little guidance. I can see that you're angry at both Zuko and Kei Lo. I can't imagine what Kei Lo could have done to make you feel that way. He's a good man, just has a little more growing up to do. And I understand your distrust and anger at my nephew. But I hope that, in the end, you choose the one you love more, not the one you hate less."
He finishes his tea and stretches.
"I'm feeling tired. I think I'll go take a nap. I've had a guest bedroom prepared for you, since you spend so much time here. It's the third one on your left down the far hall."
"Thank you." She murmurs.
When the door closes behind him, she turns back to Zuko's letter. She opens the window and the scent of rain comes in thick and clear.
She reads through the letter again, her hand resting on it almost as though she can reach through and hug him.
She bites her lip as longing and loneliness fills her chest like a vast chamber of empty air.
((page break)) ((page break)) ((page break))
"Mai? Are you alright?" Kei Lo's voice pulls her back to reality. She isn't sure if she's stood here two minutes or two hours.
She wipes quickly at her face, just in case, and turns to march past him through the door.
He follows her silently down to hall. She reaches the room Iroh had directed her to and closes the door between her and Kei Lo.
She hears a thump as he sits down and leans against it. She knows he's there to try to support her, but she still feels trapped, as though she isn't allowed to leave.
A feeling she's very familiar with.
A/N Hello all! This story is marked as on hold because I've noticed my updating is sometimes extending past two weeks, so I think it's only fair to give warning to any new readers in the summary. Thanks to all who have read this far! I did not expect this story to become so long when I started (last year!). Shout out to my new story followers: JenniferMueller1922000, Iskierja, and ProDogg. Know that even though updates are slow, I check the view log frequently. It makes my day that people like this story enough to keep reading! :)