May 8th, 2020

31

Like every morning, when he was on day shift, Jay's alarm went off at 6:30 am. Other than all those other mornings though, there hadn't been anything that woke him before that. Erin was gone for a few days now, so when Sophia came over from her room, there was more space than usual, but still, her coming over during the night or in the early morning would usually wake him. But that hadn't been the case tonight. Except for him, the bed was completely empty. And it was extremely quiet in the house. Maybe Sophia slept through the night in her own bed? That would be a first, and as far as he knew, rarely heard of in two-year-olds.

He stretched out his limps and got up to check on Sophia in her adjoining room. When he opened her door, however, the bed was empty. Panic slightly rose in Jay. Could she have been taken? Could their cover have been blown and Sammy or some of the others just had taken her, while he was sleeping?

He quickly went out the room to get his gun from the safe in the hidden office. He stopped when he went into the hallway, though. There was a lot of confetti in front of his bedroom door, and a trace of it led downstairs. He had to grin. So maybe no kidnapping, and no gun needed.

He followed the trace of confetti into the kitchen downstairs. When he entered, Sophia happily shrieked: "Surpise!" And ran into his arms. He scooped her up directly.

Mouse and Su stayed behind, though they were almost grinning as widely as Sophia. "Happy Birthday!" They said in unison.

There was a cake with icing and a candle on the kitchen table. Jay smiled widely and gave Sophia a kiss.

"What a surprise! Did you plan all that?" He asked her.

Sophia nodded proudly.

"Really?" Jay asked surprised.

"Well, it was Erin's idea," Su explained.

"She actually wanted to join via Skype, but just sent a text, that we should go on without her. Somehow Marge worsened overnight," Mouse added. He came and hugged his friend. "Happy birthday from Erin!" he said. "And me!"

"And me!" Su added and hugged him as well.

"And Phia!" Sophia said hugging her Daddy again.

He hugged her back. "Wow, Babygirl, I'm really impressed. I didn't know you could be that quiet in the morning!"

Sophia giggled in his arms.

Jay sat down with her at the table. "Shall we have some cake for breakfast?" he asked her.

Sophia nodded eagerly.

"Wow, sugar rush in the morning!" Su commented, but sat down at the table as well. "Probably good Erin isn't here!" She joked.

Mouse brought the coffee. "I'm sure she would rather be here, than taking Marge to the hospital."

"Marge is in the hospital?" Jay asked.

"Erin was about to call an ambulance, when she texted," Su explained. "Marge's fever spiked, and she can hardly breath."

"Erin an Alex will probably be tested again, officially this time," Su assumed.

Jay nodded. "Maybe Erin can come back home early, if their tests are negative." He said hopefully.

"Mommy back?" Sophia asked even more hopefully.

Jay kissed her crown. "Not yet, Babygirl," he explained. "You know she has to take care of Granny Marge and Alex because they are sick. But Granny Marge is in the hospital now. So, if Alex is better, she might be able to come back to us."

"And if she isn't sick herself!" Su added.

Jay shot her a warning glance and nodded towards Sophia. But it was too late.

"Mommy's sick?" Sophia asked anxiously looking up to her father.

„No, Sophia, your Mommy is fine. She already had the virus. She's just a bit exhausted from taking care of Marge and Alex." At least Jay hoped, that was it, because she hadn't look great for sure at their last video call.

„Mommy home!" Sophia demanded.

„Soon, Babygirl! Soon!" Jay promised. „And she will be fine!"

Sophia nodded. She was distracted from her worries, when Su put a large piece of cake in front of her. Her eyes grew big.

Jay looked at Su, and back to Sophia on her lap. "Just to be clear. This is for you and me to share."

Sophia looked a bit disappointed, but then said, "Daddy's birthday!" and nodded before she put her tiny fork into the cake.

"Guess it's no singing or grace today!" Jay said amused to the others and got his own fork, to at least get a bit of his own cake.

As soon as Jay was in the car to drive to work, he tried to reach Erin. Unfortunately, he only got her voicemail.

„Hey Babe, hope you're fine and Marge is doing okay. Just wanted to let you know, your surprise was a big success. I don't know, what you did to keep Sophia that quiet. Didn't know she had it in her! …. I'm on my way to work now. Let me know as soon as you get any news. Love you!"

He hung up, and hoped, she'd call back before he reached work. But she didn't.

Erin listened to his message way after his lunch break. She cringed. She should have called him earlier! It was his birthday after all. She looked at the time. He should be done with his lunchbreak by now, but maybe he would be able to answer his phone, nevertheless. She turned to Alex, who was building some tracks for a toy train, Erin had ordered for him via overnight express delivery the first day she'd come to stay in the house.

„Hey, Alex, honey," she addressed him. "I'll be in the next room doing a quick phone call. You okay to wait some more for lunch?"

Alex looked up and nodded. They had had a late breakfast after Marge had been taken to the hospital and Erin had calmed him enough to get some food into him. The way he reacted to ambulance showed Erin that he'd seen the one taking his mother away. After their late breakfast, they both were too tired from the night as they both hadn't been sleeping a lot after all of Marge's coughing. Therefore, Erin had proposed to take a nap early. Her plan had been to be with Alex till he fell asleep, and call Jay then. But she'd been too exhausted herself and had fallen asleep as well. They'd woken again in the early afternoon.

Erin went into the next room, and first tried Jay. But he wouldn't pick up. She didn't want to leave him a message. She just didn't want to wish him a happy birthday over voice mail. Therefore, she called Su instead, and asked how the surprise in the morning went. Sophia was up after her nap already, and of course she wanted to talk to her.

"Mommy home soon?" she asked.

"We'll see," was all Erin could answer. "Mommy has to wait for test results of granny Marge before she can come back home."

Sophia looked as if she wouldn't understand. How could she. She was two. Erin tried again. "Mommy and Alex have to know that they are not sick themselves."

Sophia got big eyes. "Mommy sick?"

Erin should have seen that coming. Although she just had a nap, she still felt sleep deprived. Those last days tore on her, that probably let to her not thinking ahead. She tried to save herself. "I'm fine, Babygirl!" she assured Sophia.

"Daddy's birthday!" Sophia changed the topic.

Erin was glad for that. "I know. How was your surprise going?"

„Phia real quiet!" Sophia said proudly.

Su nodded in the background. „I think, Jay panicked for a minute that she might have been taken!" she said amused.

Erin hadn't thought about that when she'd planned everything. „In his voicemail he seemed positively surprised and happy."

Su nodded. „That he was! So, shall we send you someone to test you?" she asked Erin.

„I fear, that won't help. If Marge's test is positive, and it probably will be. Alex and I have to stay in quarantine for at least 10 more days."

„But he had been tested positive before. If his test is negative now, it should be fine, shouldn't it?" Su asked.

„Well, that test wasn't official, and I could still carry on that virus as well."

"But you had the virus before! That's why we send you there."

"That's also not official," Erin said. "Only Erin Lindsay had had the virus."

"Let me see, what I can do!" Su answered. "I mean if Alex is still positive, we obviously can't do anything, but in every other case, there should be a way around quarantine."

"That'll be great," Erin agreed. "I would ask them to test us directly, but I don't think I can legally do that without Johnny's permission, at least not for Alex. I think, I need something legal from Johnny now that Marge is not here."

Although Johnny had been tested positive and Marge and Alex had been put in official quarantine in consequence, Marge had refused for either of them to take the test. Citing that the cabal only wanted to collect their DNA samples, for, Erin had forgotten what for… It might have been a clone army from which the cabal would then get fresh blood supply or something like that. It became more and more difficult for Erin to catch up with the newest conspiracy theories. There were just too many around these days.

"Sure," Su brought Erin back to the conversation. "Maybe Mouse or Jay can get that for you?"

"Yes, Mouse is on good terms with him. Even Jay is on better terms with him than I am. I'll try to reach either one of them after I've gotten some food into Alex. Hadn't had success with Jay before, but maybe a second try won't hurt."

"Let me know, how that goes. Otherwise, I try Mouse," Su offered. „Do you think you can work more now that Marge is at the hospital?" Su asked.

Erin nodded. "Probably. I can resume the online activities at least and work Sammy over the fence some more," she said with some sarcasm in her voice.

"Did you see her yet?" Su asked.

"Yes, she wanted to come by on Sunday already, but I wouldn't let her in, quoting the quarantine we were under. We spoke over the fence after," Erin explained.

"So, I guess you can write up a report over the last few days now," Su reminded her of the duty she ignored the past days.

"Sure, I'll do that as soon as Alex is in bed tonight," Erin offered.

"How's Alex?" Su asked.

Erin opened the door a little further to the living room where Alex was now making train sounds while he pushed the train around the tracks. "Better, I'd say," she then said a little surprised. "He was devastated this morning, when yet another ambulance took yet another loved one. But he seems relaxed now. Nevertheless, I should prepare some late lunch soon. He also gets upset when he's hungry. Not as bad as Sophia, but still."

"Sophia hungry!" Sophia said in the background.

"You just had lunch an hour and a half ago!" Su said exasperated.

"Give her an apple and she should be fine!" Erin said.

"Cake!" Sophia demanded.

"No, Babygirl, the cake is Daddy's, but maybe he lets you have a piece, when he's back. Maybe you can call me again then?" Erin asked her daughter.

Sophia nodded. "Daddy's cake!"

"Yes, it's Daddy's cake!" Erin agreed. "I got to make something for Alex now, Babygirl! We talk later, okay!"

Sophia nodded. "Later!" She said and obviously immediately found the off button.

Erin was slightly irritated by the sudden end of the conversation, but was glad, that Sophia at least stopped complaining loudly, that she was with Alex and not her like she'd done in the beginning of the week.

Sophia was used to her being away for some days or even a week at a time ever since she'd been an infant, but the fact that Erin was now with another kid and not her, had clearly been difficult for her to accept in the beginning. Jay must have been a good enough replacement after some days, or he must have hidden talents to convince their daughter not to be jealous. Somehow, Sophia had stopped complaining and was more or less fine with her mother not being there.

Erin went back into the living room, and congratulated Alex on the train tracks he'd built. The boy smiled.

"Some P and J sandwich for you?" Erin asked.

Alex nodded.

"Then let's go into the kitchen!"

Alex looked back at his tracks with some sorrow. He kneeled back down again, and was about to undo the first track, when Erin stopped him. "You can leave it like that and continue to play with it later!" She offered him.

Alex looked surprised, but afraid at the same time. He shook his head and continued to undo the tracks. Erin stopped him again. "Don't you want to play with it after lunch?" she asked.

He nodded.

„Then you may leave it as it is!" Erin told him again and offered him her hand to go to the kitchen.

The boy looked uncertainly from Erin to the tracks.

"It's okay, I promise!" Erin said. „It's just you and me now. We can be a bit messy!" She winked at him. „Just don't tell Jay. He doesn't like my messy side too much."

Alex eyes widened again, but then he nodded and put a finger in front of his mouth.

Erin smiled at him. After seeing that ambulance this morning, he wasn't talking again, but at least he was communicating. "Let's go and have our sandwiches!" Erin said and led him into the kitchen.

After lunch, Erin still wasn't able to reach Jay. Thus, she called Mouse, who said Jay was the better person to talk to Johnny in this case. Their long-term goal after all was still to get some sort of custody over Alex following Brianna's wishes. Therefore, Mouse suggested Jay rather than Erin should act as a guardian to Alex. That would be accepted more easily by Johnny and, more importantly, it could help them in the long run, as Jay Halstead, other than Erin Halstead, existed for real. Erin agreed to Mouse's reasoning.

For the first time, since they'd found Brianna's letter, it became clear to Erin, that her and Jay couldn't be the ones arresting Johnny and the other Sons. Johnny shouldn't know, they worked undercover, otherwise it would be hard to keep Alex even with Brianna's letter. They could only use that letter, after Johnny had had his trial and was sentenced to prison for a few years. Until the trial, they would need Johnny's trust. If he were to find out they were the once behind his arrest, he was surely to try to find anyone else to look after Alex. And if Marge were to pull through, that would probably be her.

It wasn't unheard of that the undercover agents never disclosed their identity to the offenders, that the arrest was done by someone else. Normally, that happened when the cover might be needed at a later date. As Jay used not only his name but also his own background story as a cover, it would probably advisable not to let the Son's know, that he was working for the other team. That might put them all in danger. They learned enough about the larger right wing-extremist network to know they wouldn't be safe anywhere in that case. If they weren't to live under witness protection for the rest of their lives, they would need an official reason to leave Mercer again without raising any suspicion.

"That would be easy to find," Mouse commented her reasoning. "You got to go regularly back to Chicago for your checkups. Jay can be offered his position back with a pay raise, or you go there for your checkups, and at the same time the arrests in Mercer happen. So, Jay doesn't return to be safe not to be arrested himself. He could even stay in contact with the arrested Sons using his undercover persona."

"Sounds like we could sell that to the SAC," Erin said nodding. "But that also means, the Sons were to do whatever they are planning with 'that damn doctor lady' without Jay and his marksman skills."

"I don't think, we need to arrest them at the spot when they are trying an assassination anymore. We got so much data from the hard drives and so forth, combined with the intel the team is going through as we speak, and the one we get from our listening devices, it should be enough to charge them as terrorists. The intend to do the assassination should be enough for a trial, considering all the other intel we got."

"But Jay is on that tapes as well. It would be a hard sale if he were just to get back to his old life. The other will wonder, why he isn't charged," Erin reasoned further.

"You're right, maybe he should go into hiding somewhere for a while," Mouse suggested.

Erin smiled, thinking about New York. She yearned to be back at her home. She hadn't heard from her brother in months, and didn't even know, how Svetlana was doing working in a hospital during the worst health crisis the City had seen.

"What do you think," Erin asked. "How long do we still need to stay under?"

"That still depends on how fast the team can work through the data of the hard drives," Mouse said thinking out loudly. "When is your next checkup?"

"End of the month," Erin said.

"Maybe we got enough by then. If not, next time. We should discuss this with the team!" Mouse suggested.

"Yes, that sounds about right," Erin agreed. "With Marge in the hospital, I should be freer to attend online meetings."

Erin was torn. She realized that she was somehow relieved that Marge was in the hospital now, that part of her didn't even expect her to be back, and that a tiny part even didn't want her to be back. Having Marge out of the equation would make so many things easier.

Then again, Erin felt bad for feeling that way. She saw Marge suffering those last days, and was glad she was in the hospital now, not only, because Erin would have more time and freedom now, but also because she knew how sick Marge was, and despite all the not so nice things she felt towards Marge, she'd really hated to see her suffering. She'd felt overwhelmed by her own incompetence to take care of that sick woman. The fever had spiked so fast, and her condition worsened accordingly. Erin had been afraid for Marge's life the last two nights. Her breathing difficulties had become much worse to the point where Erin wasn't sure if she'd stopped breathing for good.

Erin's knowledge of CPR was extremely limited to the basics of what she'd learned at the academy and at Quantico. Other than Su, she'd never worked close with medical professionals, and she wasn't the caregiver type, especially when it came to adults. Thus, taken care of Marge had been way beyond her expertise and comfort zone.

How Will and Nat could just take care of every patient that came their way, impressed Erin even more now. The sicker Marge had become, the worse her racial slurs had grown. She'd somehow heard of the Afro-American nurse who had been killed in Louisville last month by local police that had used a no-knock-warrant. Erin hadn't really followed that story yet, and in general she'd experienced the usefulness of a no-knock-warrant in her time at Intelligence. What they'd never done, though, was to judge someone as guilty just because of the color of their skin. This apparently had been happened here. Hearing Marge call that woman the N-word, and guilty for sure and with that responsible for her own death, cause "like all of them" she'd been a criminal and drug-addict, didn't really help Erin to show more compassion towards Marge. She didn't know the facts of that raid, or why it had obviously gone wrong. She knew there were always at least two sides to a story, but the idea, that someone is guilty because of their color of their skin made Erin angry.

The longer they stayed under, the more difficult it became to Erin, to fake being racist herself. Being confined to a small space, away from her family, didn't really help in that matter. The longer she stayed in Mercer, the angrier the racism shown here by almost everyone every day made her.

So maybe that anger played into her lack of compassion towards Marge. But basically, welcoming her death, because it would make other matters easier with Alex, was a low point under the said circumstances.

She looked at the family pictures on the wall. Interestingly there were none of Marge's late husband, only of her sons through the ages: Young Sam and Johnny with fishing-rods, Sam in uniform, Johnny's wedding photo with a very skinny and pale looking Brianna, one picture similar to the one Brianna's aunt had showed her from last year's Fourth of July, and a picture of Marge looking fondly down on what was probably Baby-Alex. He seemed to have been extremely tiny. They looked like a well enough family, quite similar from what she remembered shown at Pat Halstead's wall, when she'd visited the house Jay had grown up in about four years ago, or what Hank was displaying on his walls.

She realized Alex looked up to her from his toy train. He viewed the pictures as well.

"Mommy!" he said sadly pointing at the wedding picture.

Erin smiled a sad smile. She pointed at the other picture of the Fourth of July. "There's another one of you and your Mommy and your Daddy!"

Alex immediately turned away, and went for his toy train, not looking back. Something was off with that picture, obviously. Nevertheless, Erin decided not to press him on it. There would be another time for that.

When Jay finished work, he had five missed calls from Erin. He immediately tried to reach her, but she wouldn't pick up. She hadn't left him any message as well.

"What is it, man?" Mitch asked him.

Jay shook his head. "My wife called," he just said, and was about to call her back.

"She probably wanted to wish you a happy birthday!" Mitch mused amused.

Jay nodded.

"When last did you see her?" Mitch kept asking.

"Saturday, after the protest. She went over to bring Alex and see how Marge was doing. Unfortunately, not so good, so she decided to stay the night. The next morning, they were put under Quarantine because of Johnny's allegedly positive Covid-test."

„You didn't see your wife for almost a week, because of some fake news?" Mitch asked irritated.

„Fake or not," Jay began to explain. „It's not easy to leave the house once the quarantine is imposed by law officials."

"I really hate that officer!" Mitch grumbled. "You know what? Why don't you come home with me for a bit?" Mitch suggested in a lighter tone. "That way you can see your wife, and at least speak to her over our fence!"

Jay looked at his phone. "Tempting," he said. "But I should really go home to Sophia and relieve our nanny!" He sighted. He'd actually loved to see Erin, but if Sophia was to find out, he went to see her Mommy without her, she'd be understandably upset.

"Then we get your kid first, and then you come over to us!" Mitch proposed. "Sammy would love to see her again."

'I bet she would!' Jay thought darkly. "I think, that might be a bit confusing for her, to only see her mom over the fence," he reasoned out loud. "It's hard enough at it is to not see her mom every day."

"Yeah, honestly, man, I don't get, how she could leave her with that Chingk," Mitch said.

"She didn't plan on this!" Jay defended Erin.

"How could you even get a nanny like that?" Mitch kept on asking irritated.

"We told you before, she's a credible witness for a case my old team worked back in Chicago. We're helping her to stay under the radar of that gambling cartel!" Jay explained Su's cover story again.

"Still," Mitch mused. "Don't you think it's weird that Johnny got diagnosed with that kungflu, and Marge is obviously showing the same symptoms after that boy spend so much time with your Chingk?"

How Jay hated this undercover gig! "I thought, you didn't believe Johnny is sick for real?" he couldn't help himself from replying.

Mitch shrugged. "Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but there are for sure more cases of that China-virus here in Mercer since you brought that Chingk here!"

"But neither Sophia, nor Erin or I show any symptoms!" Jay tried. "You know we all got tested on Monday and my test was negative! If it came from our nanny, I would probably have been one of the first to catch it and not Johnny."

Mitch looked at him thinking. He shook his head. "I still don't trust that Chingk of yours! The offer stands: You could always let her go, and Sammy takes care of little Sophie. She is bored anyways since her salon has been closed down."

Jay tried a smile. "Thanks for the offer, but we agreed to keep Su on till the cartels trial, but you know what? I take you up on the offer to see my wife over your fence, if that still stands!" He needed to at least take some of Mitches offers, to show some gratefulness, otherwise he might lose him as a CI, or he'd become suspicious.

"Of course, that still stands, man!" Mitch patted him on the back. "Just because I don't understand your choice of nanny during a time like this, doesn't mean I would keep a brother from his wife! Shall we go to your place first to get the kid?"

Jay shook his head. "No, I'm texting the nanny, that I'm a little late. I really don't want to confuse Sophia."

Mitch nodded. "Sure," he said before they went to their separate cars.

Erin had almost given up on reaching Jay. She'd tried him three more times, before she went into the backyard to work Sammy a bit over the fence and let Alex and herself have some fresh air. Same as Mitch had told Jay, Sammy tried to convince her that her "Chinese" nanny had spread the virus in Mercer, and that Erin should get rid of her ASAP, to not endanger her daughter any further. Sammy offered to watch Sophia instead. Erin managed to decline that offer. She said, in general, she didn't trust "the Chinese" as well, but Su was Korean, and her father had asked her to take her in, so there were no further questions. She trusted her old man. That convinced Sammy a bit at least.

At 5 pm Erin excused herself from Sammy, saying she'd to try to reach Jay again as it was his birthday, and he should be off work by now. Sammy held her back some more, but finally, Erin managed to go inside again to call Jay. She realized she had two missed calls from him. She cursed Sammy for holding her back for so long.

When Erin was about to try Jay again, her phone rang.

"Hey, Babe!" She said taking the call. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks!" Jay replied. "Thanks for the big surprise this morning!"

It wasn't a video call this time, but she still knew he was smiling brightly. "The least I could do!" She said.

"There's something more you could do," Jay began.

"And what is that? May I ask?" Erin said slightly flirtatious.

"That as well, but maybe after you're out of quarantine!" Again, Erin could see Jay's cocky grin before her eyes.

"Go out into the backyard!" He ordered her.

"We just came in!" Erin said slightly annoyed, because it had taken her that long to get rid of Sammy, and she just didn't want to talk to Jay in earshot of Sammy.

"Sammy won't be there," Jay promised her.

Erin opened the curtains to the backyard and had a look. She immediately saw Jay standing, where she'd left Sammy just a few minutes ago. She smiled brightly and turned to Alex, who was back playing with his train tracks again. "Alex, honey, I'll be outside for some more. You ok here?"

Alex looked up, nodded, and went back to his tracks.

Erin had to contain herself not to run outside to the fence.

Jay just grinned.

"You're here!" She stated the obvious smiling brightly.

"I am!" Jay said mirroring her smile.

"Where's Soph?" Erin asked.

"Thought she could wait a little longer. Didn't want to confuse her," Jay explained. A little more uncertain he added: "Or should I have brought her?"

Erin smiled at his slight insecurity. "No, it's good, you're right. It would probably be confusing for her." She looked around. "Did you come with Mitch?"

Jay nodded. "They're inside. Wanted to give us some space."

Erins smile reappeared. „I miss you!" She admitted.

„Same here!" Jay said walking a bit closer to the fence.

„Stay right there!" Erin said taking a step back. „6 feet, remember?"

„Err, we both know, you don't have the virus!" Jay said with amused annoyance in his voice.

„No one knows, if you can't get it more than once, yet!" Erin explained.

„Will said, it'd be highly unlikely for you to catch it two times so close after each other!" Jay said sighting.

„He's probably right. I don't feel like last time. Still, I sure as hell wouldn't want to give you a virus for your birthday!" She said with an apologetic smile.

„Fine," Jay said taking a step back again. „But you need to get out of there soon!"

„About that," Erin began. „I spoke to Su and Mouse. You need to ask Johnny to make one of us Alex's guardian, now that Marge is in the hospital. We need to make certain decisions for Alex, like finally having him tested officially."

Jay nodded. "I'll try to reach him on my way back. Have you heard anything from Marge since this morning?"

"They wouldn't give me any details, but the way it looked this morning, I wouldn't be surprised, if she's on a ventilator by now," Erin said looking at Jay.

He nodded. "I'll ask Johnny, that he also gives us the power to ask about Marge's medical status."

"Are we bad people?" Erin asked quietly.

"Why?" Jay asked equally quiet. "Because we care for the well-being of a racist's family?"

"I got the feeling, I should care more for Marge's well-being," Erin opened up about her fears. "Part of me is relieved she's in the hospital now."

"Erin!" Jay said taking her in. "I can't imagine, how those last days have torn on you. You were certainly way out of your comfort zone. Of course, you're glad, she's in the hospital. I know you did your best, but over there? She's with people who are trained for this!"

"Thanks," Erin said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh, come on!" Jay said. "You know how I meant it."

Erin cracked a small smile. "Yes, sorry, of course they know better than I do how to take care of her. Plus, they got the better equipment!" She paused. "But that's not what I meant."

Jay looked at her signaling to go on.

She lowered her voice. "I had a hard time feeling for her," Erin admitted. "With all those slurs coming out of her." Erin sighted. "And..." she stopped.

Jay waited but she wouldn't continue. "Hey, Err," he began then. "It's me, you can talk to me! Always! You know that!"

Erin sighted and looked around. Then she came closer. She touched his hand over the fence and looked at it while she continued whispering.

Jay was wise enough, not to mention that she was now closer than 6 feet.

"Part of me wishes for her to not get better," she admitted.

Jay didn't say anything. He just stroked her hand with his thumb. Then he looked up and tried a smile at her. "It's because of Alex, isn't it?"

Erin nodded. "I don't want him to grow up in this house. He's too soft. He's been through so much already. He won't recover here, I'm sure of it. His mother was sure of it!" Her eyes were fierce now.

"You're probably right!" Jay said supporting. "How's Alex?"

"Better than in the morning, when they took her," Erin paused. "But the more I spend time with him the more certain I am that he suffered more than a psychological trauma. He's afraid, Jay, he panics in all sorts of situations. I asked him not to tidy up his train track, he almost froze. He had a look at that picture from last Fourth of July, you know the one Brianna's aunt showed us?"

Jay nodded.

"It was weird, his eyes darkened, and he turned away, and... I don't know, maybe I'm imagining things, but I think something bad happened there to him." Erin looked up at Jay.

"Babe, we make sure, he will have a better life from now on! I promise!" Jay said earnestly. "I'll talk to Johnny as soon as I'm in the car and get us those rights. Then the two of you can get that test, and you can go out of that house."

At the word tests, Erin realized how close they were. She looked up and immediately took a step back and let go of his hand. "I'm sorry, Jay," she said still shocked about her carelessness.

Jay was a bit taken aback by her sudden movement. "Hey, it's all good! I know you're clean. And I know you're not contagious!"

"No, Jay, you can't know that!" Erin replied.

Jay sighted. "Didn't we just have that conversation? Err, I love you, and it's my birthday, and if you only let me, I would hold more than just your hand!"

"I know you would. But I could never forgive myself, if you were to be taken by an ambulance and put on a ventilator!"

"Erin, I'm young and healthy, there's no reason, the disease would take such a turn in me!" He tried a cocky smile.

"If you'd told me at the beginning of the year, I'd have a stroke before my 35th birthday, I wouldn't have believed that either!" She reminded him. "I was healthy as well, now …" she stopped.

But Jay had already gotten the hint. "You're still not good? Did you get worse again?" He asked worried.

Erin tried a smile. "It's ok. I'm good. It's probably just the lack of sleep because of Marge's condition, coughing through the night, that is. I'll be better now!"

Jay still looked at her worried, so she added: "I promise!"

"You talked to Doctors Charles this week?" he asked.

"No, but I will today!" she said smiling. "It will be easier, now that Marge is not in the house." She paused. „I'm sorry! I did it again!" She put her hands in front of her face.

"What?" Jay asked irritated.

"Seeing the bright sight in Marge's suffering!"

"I don't know, if being able to talk to a psych is such a bright side!" Jay said trying to cheer her up.

It worked. "You know, I would kiss you, if I could, don't you?" She asked smiling at him again.

"I know!" Jay replied her smile. "I should go home ASAP and talk to Johnny. That you can get out of here!"

"Yes, you should. And Sophia needs you! Give her a big kiss from her mommy! Just don't tell her, you saw me in person."

"I'm not that keen on another terrible-two-tantrum!" Jay said with a knowing grin.

"She that bad at the moment?" Erin asked with real concern.

Jay waved it away. „Nuh! She got her moments, but this morning she was an angel!"

„Then go back to our angel now, before she turns back into her real self!" Erin said jokingly. „And let me know as soon as you spoke to Johnny."

Jay nodded. „I will!"

„And Jay?" Erin said, when he was about to turn away.

„Yes?" he said stopping his movement.

„Happy birthday!"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I couldn't find Jay's birthday on the net. But based of the timeline of season 4 it must be somewhen between the end of april and the beginning of may. So, May 8th might be a bit late, but it fits the timeline of this story.