The Envelope 32

Author's Note: I know all the chapters have been pretty close, but this one is in the future close to Christopher's first birthday. There will be more time jumps after this, or else this story will be 200 chapters! Anything in italics is a memory, ghost-talk, flashback or a proper name.

Leave a review and let me know what you think.

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"I don't care what meeting he is in," Don said into the phone. "He's going to make time to meet, I'm on my way over."

He slammed his cell phone down on his desk and looked around his office. He didn't need this shit today.

"Uh, Ressler," Aram said as he walked into his office. "I can't break the code."

"I thought you said you could?" Don asked him.

"It's a variation on an algorithm that I haven't seen before," Aram said sheepishly. "I've contacted a friend at the NSA and…"

"Okay, do whatever you need to," Don said. "I have to get over to State and get to the Bureau for Christopher."

Aram watched him grab his suit jacket and walk toward the door.

"I ordered the balloons," Aram said.

"Thanks," Don said as he passed his friend.

"You have to pick up the cake today too." Aram added.

"Shit," Don said as he looked at his watch. "Fine, we'll get it after I pick up Agnes."

"Bakery closes at 5," Aram reminded him as Don walked quickly down the stairs.

He watched Ressler pause in his forward motion.

"Five?" Don asked.

"Yeah," Aram said.

Don had been putting off interviewing and vetting someone to get the kids home from school each day so, on days when he was still needed at work it wasn't a juggling act. In this moment, he wished he'd hired someone a few weeks ago.

"What's five?" Valentino asked.

"I've got to pick up Christopher's cake by 5pm," Don said as he looked at his watch and mentally calculated how he was going to get to State, pick up Christopher, the cake, and Agnes before her after care program closed.

"I can get it," Valentino said. "Where's the bakery?"

"That would be great," Don said relieved. "Frosted Delight, on Connecticut North West."

"Done," she said. "I'll drop it off with the security detail if you aren't home."

"Thanks," Don said relieved. "I really appreciate this."

"No problem," Valentino said.

Don rushed past everyone and toward his car.

An hour later he was at the Bureau getting Christopher from the daycare.

"Hello little man!" Don said as he smiled at his son and walked into the daycare.

"He liked his birthday cupcakes today," Jennie said with a smile as she went to grab Christopher from his spot where he was holding onto the window ledge and bouncing. He was close to walking and could do it holding onto things, but every time his hands left an object, he sat down immediately.

"The birthday boy is ready to go," Jennie said as she handed Christopher to Don, and Don kissed his son's face. "I can't believe he's one tomorrow."

"I know, it seems like…" Don said and then stopped and wondered if Christopher's birthday would always be tied to Liz's death. "I know."

"Have a great day tomorrow," Jennie said with a smile.

"Thanks," Don said as he hauled his son from the room, grabbed his backpack filled with diapers and his blanket, and walked from the daycare.

His phone rang as he got to the elevator.

"Ressler, we need you to sign off on a change in…" Uzturk said.

"I've got to get Agnes," Don said. "It has to happen now?"

"Yes, sorry, sir," she said.

Don huffed and looked at his watch.

"I'll be there by 6," Don said, knowing Agnes needed to get picked up first.

"Sir…"

"Six," Don said as he hung up.

At 5:57 Don walked into the post office with Christopher in his arms and Agnes skipping beside him. The security detail was parked outside.

"What do I need to approve?" Don asked the room with agents and admin assistants buzzing around it.

Everyone looked up and saw their boss in a way only those closest to him had. Don stood there with a one-year-old boy carrying a stuffed purple elephant and a six-year-old daughter wearing a butterfly costume.

"Well?!" Don demanded.

"Ozturk has it," Aram said as he walked toward them and picked up Agnes and threw her in the air. Agnes giggled and squealed. She had been to the post office only once before, when her mother was alive. Christopher hadn't ever been brought in.

"I thought butterflies flew!" Aram said with a chuckle as he tossed Agnes.

"Don't make her throw up," Don said as he put down Christopher's diaper bag on a work station.

Ozturk scuttled up to him and handed him an ipad.

Don looked down at it briefly and then addressed the room.

"We're going to be here a little later tonight everyone, so cancel whatever plans you have and make arrangements for your kids," Don said, knowing he would never have thought about telling people to take care of their kids before he was a father.

He took the ipad and walked up to his office with Christopher in his arms and Ozturk and Aram following with Agnes behind him.

"Here sweetie," Don said as he sat Agnes down at his desk and handed her some highlighters and paper. "Draw a picture for Uncle Aram"

Agnes got to work, and Don placed Christopher down so he could stand and hold onto a chair and bounce. He kept saying 'dadadadada' as he did.

"Make sure he doesn't put anything in his mouth," Don instructed Aram as he opened up the document on the ipad.

Ozturk explained her case and the complication, and he realized that his instincts were right, this was not a simple signature.

He called Reddington, a judge, an informant, and a pizza place and assigned an intern to go pick the food up for his staff and kids. Two admin assistants took turns amusing Agnes with hide and seek and crafts. The rest of the staff got to see their boss deftly change a diaper on a work station while on the phone with a judge. They were able to witness their boss laugh at Agnes' antics around the office as she showed him all of her office supply crafts and jumped out at him from behind a cabinet to yell 'boo!' only to be scooped up and given a raspberry on her cheek as she giggled. They got to see their boss being hard on a video call with an informant and then turn off the camera and hand his son a new pizza crust to naw on while using a swiss army knife to cut up an apple for Agnes to eat. It was a night not many would forget and humanized the man, who they all knew the history of, in a way that the last few months of him taking charge of the task force hadn't allowed.

At 8:32, Don was carrying tired kids out of the post office and toward his car, cursing cases that came up at the end of the day but grateful to his staff who helped with the kids while he did his job.

"Daddy I like my new cubby tag," Agnes said as he buckled her into her seat.

"They changed it today?" Don asked her.

"Yes," Agnes smiled at him. "I think I am close to the longest name, if you count the takeaway sign" Agnes said.

"Dash," Don reminded her. "Or hyphen, technically."

"It's a takeaway sign also," Agnes reminded him, she was learning so much lately that she liked to show off.

"So, you are Keen minus Ressler?" Don asked her as he was about to shut the car door. Christopher looked like he was going to fall asleep on the car ride home.

Agnes' face screwed up in contemplation.

"Doesn't make sense now, does it?" Don chuckled.

Agnes nodded and Don shut the door.

He was starving, but at least the kids had been fed and Valentino had got the cake for him, so overall, the day was a success. He didn't like bringing the kids in, but he liked the annoyed looks from the after care program workers, when he showed up late, less.

Don got the kids home and in bed. Christopher was easy, he was already out like a light when they pulled into the garage. Agnes still insisted on her stories and at 9:30 was down just as Barry was carrying in the cake for Christopher's birthday party tomorrow and Don was evaluating the contents of their fridge for the easiest and biggest caloric intake that didn't involve prep or cooking. He'd finished off part of Christopher's slice, but that had been all he's eaten since lunch.

"Long day?" Barry asked.

"Yep," Don said as he reached for a beer, a boiled egg, and some coleslaw they had in the fridge. "Thanks for keeping the cake."

"No problem," he said with a smile before he started for the stairs to bring it down to the emptier fridge. "Cake looks nice."

"If you're on shift tomorrow I'll get you a piece," Don called to him as he twisted off the top of his beer and took the shell off the egg, popping it into his mouth in one go, before he took out a fork and stood in his kitchen inhaling the rest of the coleslaw. Chucking the empty container in the sink, he walked into his living room to collapse on his sofa.

"Fuck," he said softly as he took a swig of his beer and closed his eyes dropping his head back.

He needed to do what everyone had been pressuring him to do. He needed to hire someone to get the kids after school, then Agnes wouldn't be in the after-school program and he wouldn't be running up against a clock everyday. Most days were fine, he got her and Christopher without issue, but on days like today, it was unfair to his kids to take them into the office, or to Wendy who had watched them in a pinch, or his security detail who had kept an eye on them as Don had run things from home.

"Have a good night!" Barry called as he exited through the back door.

"You too Barry," Don called back.

He then felt the beer being lifted from his hand and Don's eyes opened suddenly.

"Care to share?" Liz asked him as she brought the beer bottle to her lips and took a drink.

"Liz," he said softly as he sat up. "It's been months and I thought…"

"I know," she said softly with a smile. "I don't control this or else I would have visited you during the trial, or for your 40th or a million other times, like everyday, really…"

"We need to talk," Don said as he turned to face her more fully.

"I know," she said as she handed him back his beer. "Take a drink."

"Liz, I'm serious," Don said. "Agnes is mine?"

"Yes," Liz said with a nod.

"And you knew?" He asked.

"I suspected, and then I stopped suspecting," she offered.

"What do you mean?" Don asked, he'd wanted these answers forever and needed to know before she went away again.

"I knew with the timing it could have been you or Tom," she admitted. "I never thought I could be a woman who didn't know who the father of her baby was but, I was."

"And you didn't check?" Don asked.

"I was scared to," Liz offered. "I was back with Tom, and you seemed…okay with it, with the way things were. You didn't ask if you were the father…"

"I didn't know we had sex," Don said.

"I knew the one morning, but it seems from what you've found out it was the two?" Liz asked.

"We're thinking yes," Don said. "What do you remember about the first night or morning?"

"I remember waking up in your bed in a t-shirt of yours and my panties," Liz said. "You were asleep next to me, I'm not sure what you had on. But I remembered being there with you at night and, I didn't suspect we had sex. I got in the shower right away, thinking it would help with my hangover. I honestly was very foggy, maybe there was evidence we…but I missed it."

"I didn't suspect a thing," Don admitted. "I was sore, but we were usually very…"

"Amorous?" Liz asked with a chuckle.

"Sure," Don smiled at her.

"And then there was something different about the second morning?" Don asked.

"I woke up naked and you had your boxers practically around your calves," Liz said. "And I noticed ejaculate, a lot of it."

"I thought they just rolled down or with shifting…" Don explained. "I noticed scratches on my shoulders."

"Well, I knew I wasn't naked when I last recalled us," Liz explained. "I last remembered kissing you in the kitchen doorway and then…nothing. I assumed we had sex from the evidence and something, maybe the wine from dinner, hit me harder than expected."

"And that's why you acted different," Don said.

"I thought we'd finally done it, gone there. And you were…"

"Distant," Don said.

"It was weird," Liz said. "I was confused, and then for weeks afterwards you hardly said a word to me outside of work. I figured you regrated it and…"

"I didn't know," Don said.

"Well, I know that now, knucklehead," Liz chuckled.

"But you still didn't tell me she could have been mine," Don said.

"I figured you could do the math just as easily as I could, and when you said nothing, it was a sign you weren't interested," Liz explained. "And I was back with Tom and, although protective, you seemed…okay with it? "

"I worked really, really hard to be okay with it," Don said. "I wasn't."

She nodded.

"But you never said anything Liz, she's my child…" Don said, the hurt apparent in his voice.

"And that was wrong," Liz said, honestly. "I can tell you it was because of your distant behaviour, or the task force, or the fact that we couldn't be partners anymore if it got out, or me considering adoption and you being very vocal you were against it, or stability, or that having a child with a woman who was a fugitive would ruin your career, or Tom, or my life being a complete fucking disaster, or anything else…"

"But?" Don asked.

"You broke my heart," Liz said. "Not that you knew you were doing that, I get that now, I do. But at the time, I thought you knew what I knew and were just…"

"Backing away," Don supplied.

"Yes," Liz said. "I may have loved Tom, and learned to be a family with him again, but if you had said anything, anything to indicate you wanted me and the child I was carrying, I would have been with you."

"Fuck," Don sighed.

"So, I went ahead with Tom," Liz said. "Partly because I was kidding myself, and partly because I just wanted a family, and he was offering it."

Don nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry," she said as she kissed his mouth. "I'm so, so sorry."

Don kissed her back and tried to let go of the pain she had caused him. Unintentional or not, it was still there, and it was still pain.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart," Don said.

Liz nodded and leaned in and kissed him again.

"I know," she said. "It wasn't your fault."

"And it wasn't yours," Don said, forgiving her of her transgressions.

"And we got beautiful Agnes out of it," Liz smiled at him, her face so close to his, their noses were touching.

"We did," Don smiled at her.

"And Kit who will be one tomorrow," Liz smiled.

"Kit?" Don asked.

"Wasn't that what you mom called your dad?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, I forgot that," Don admitted. "Kit was what she called him at home, but at church, or work he was always Christopher Ressler."

"They're both Keen-Ressler now?" Liz asked.

"It meant a lot to me," Don said, not sure how she felt about that.. "Are you okay with it?"

She smiled at him. "Of course, I am."

"Good, because it was a lot of paperwork," Don chuckled.

"I love you," Liz said.

"I love you too," Don whispered back.

He had one more question he needed to ask, in case it was months or years before he saw her again. In case he never saw her again. He'd spent months pulling together the memories of everyone who knew them to try and come to terms with the secret that was Agnes. He had heard from Aram, Cooper, Reddington, Dembe about their recollections. Don had found a drive with more digital images from Agnes' childhood with more pictures of all of them, but a ridiculous amount of him and Agnes. He found mementos of their relationship, artwork Agnes had made, some of her baby clothes, and some pictures of him and Liz on cases; images that he didn't know existed and wasn't sure who had taken them and given them to her. But he needed to know this.

"Liz, were…were you ever going to tell me?" He asked, not sure he was going to like the answer.

She swallowed hard and leaned back slightly.

"I wanted to tell you that night at the house when we met," Liz said. "But you were so angry, I didn't want to give you a reason to be angrier with me. So, I was thinking Wyoming."

Don nodded and took a cleansing breath.

"You suspected?" Don asked. "After she was born?"

"She was a freaking ginger when her hair came in Don!" Liz laughed. "If I didn't find out from a paternity test, I knew just looking at her skin and her hair, she was you."

"But then she darkened," Don said.

"But her expressions were all you still," Liz smiled at him as she placed her hand on his cheek. "They still are."

"Is that why all the pictures?" Don asked. "Because when she…"

"Yes," Liz said.

"Why didn't you tell me after Tom was dead?" He asked.

"It seemed like so much time had passed, and you were still….distant, for a long time," Liz said. "I wasn't sure if it would be well received."

"She's my daughter Liz," Don offered.

"Who I kept from you," Liz said. "Right or wrong, whatever the reason, I was afraid I'd lose you when I told you the truth."

Don looked at her sadly.

"Happy 40th," Liz smiled at him, changing the subject.

"Thanks," Don said bashfully. "I feel like I'm 50 some days."

"I like this dad bod," Liz said as she patted his slightly softer stomach region. Which was still a fit stomach, by any standard.

"Now that I sit at a desk more than I kick in doors…I need to run more," he sighed, knowing his fitness was taking a backseat. His dinner of the remainder of Christopher's pizza, an egg, coleslaw and a beer was a clear indicator he needed to be better to himself.

"No, I like it," Liz said mischievously as she pulled his shirt out of his pants so she cold touch the skin underneath on his stomach. Don shuttered, he hadn't been touched like that, so close, so loved by her in a long time.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Don replied back with a glint in his eye, she could drive him up sexually with one line, one touch...

She leaned in and kissed him passionately and he wrapped his arms around her returning the kiss but never holding her too tight. He felt her hand run up his thigh and then her lips started to fade from his mouth, and she was gone.

Don looked around the room and saw she was gone again. For how long, he didn't know, but he now had answers to the burning questions that had kept him up some nights over the last few months.

He sat forward and took a long pull from his beer. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel her hand on his bare skin, her breath on his cheek, and her mouth on his. Don got up off the sofa and turned off the lights going up to his room to spend some more time with his memories of Liz and his right hand before he fell asleep.

To be continued…