Time Ticks Away
Chapter Notes
So, it's been awhile, but I think the world has everyone worn down, eh? A lot of OT3
talk with the incomparable daskey got my muses all frisky and we finished this
chapter. Booya!
A little departure here, in that Sam had a LOT to say! Have no fear, Lena will have
plenty of page time in the next chapter.
The final scene with Sam and Kara was written AGES ago and I've been working
towards it since then. I really love it and it's a perfect place to break this chapter.
Enjoy!
Alex's POV
Even new to them, I can feel the emotional undercurrents like electricity between them. It's
fascinating and makes me feel both included and like an outsider.
The mixed feelings and contradictory reactions are something I'm almost used to now.
Having dispensed adoring affection to her partner, Lena returns to her nestle into my side. I'd want
to kiss her anyway, but that little curl of smile, echoed in Sam, makes me weak.
"Okay, now you know our filthy secrets, tell us something about this place that we wouldn't
know," Lena says abruptly and Sam chuckles and adds in her two cents.
"But we warn you, we've watched all the videos."
A ripple of amusement passes through the group and the quiet is a thoughtful one.
"I don't miss Louisiana as much as I thought I might," Maria muses quietly, pausing for a moment
in stroking Carol's hair where the smaller woman is nestled back between her knees. With an
adoring smile, the eldest Danvers stares up at her partner and her soft reply aches with sincerity.
"Home is wherever you are."
Even as I 'awww' with the others the couple shares a sweet kiss, it's a reminder that my lovers are
their own unit and soon I will be without them.
And it still aches.
Thankfully, by accident or design, Lucy jumps back in and her voice is notably more jocular after
her big emotional outpouring. Good, because none of that is ever easy to talk about. Though only
time will tell if she's bullshitting her way through it.
"The weather has changed drastically since I was kid and visited here. I've kinda had that thought
rattling around my head and even talked to a few of the oldsters like my uncle. The old lake that is
now meadows and young trees?"
"Yeah, we noticed that on the way in," Sam says with a nod.
"It used to be a huge thing, went right up to the foot of National, our little town. It used to get
almost fully drained every winter to prevent flooding in spring. Everyone that has been here longer
than five years is still getting used to the lack of water. Nearly killed the town too, but at least the
new land is in permanent trust with the state. Nothing more than a few parks and recreation areas."
Shaking off little bit of melancholy, she sits forward to warm her hands at the fire.
"Then the queers showed up and saved the whole area, which is badass. Anyway, yeah, the
weather has been a lot more extreme the last few winters. Might be why that chicken farm we
bought all that crap off of went under."
"We," I scoff and earn an affectionate glare. Good, if she can be her usual sassy self, she's okay.
"Shut it, Danvers. We're at just below 2400 feet, so the cold makes sense, but the theory is that the
mass of warmed land from the water and rotting vegetation and shit used to keep the temps up a
tad. We're at the easternmost end of this valley and warmth from the old lakebed and anything that
comes up from the valley gets blown right up our skirts, so to speak."
I know most of this, but it's an interesting reminder of the history around us. "Which makes more
sense of why there are farms this damn high up."
Lena giggles where she's heavy against my side and asks, "you said the last farm?"
"Yeah, that wall of trees to the east is all federal lands." For emphasis, Lucy waves her hand in the
direction of the pastures. "Which is badass, because we don't have to worry about weird neighbors-
-"
"At least on that side."
My sass makes Lucy laugh and hold up her beer in salute.
"Okay, my turn," Sam suddenly pipes up, straightening from her lazy slouch. I can't see her grin
from this angle, but I can sure hear it. "So there must be outtakes."
I cringe as Lucy crows, "months worth!"
Yeah, I'm not shocked that gets Lena's attention. "Oh, I want to see!"
Since my fellow females are more interested in the hilarity of reminiscing for a moment, Brainy
steps over to tell Lena, "contact Winn. He will happily share, I think."
That earns a rich laugh and she thanks him warmly while I just mutter, "traitor."
It's a joy to listen to the harmony of Lena and Sam's merriment and there's no resisting the smile
tickling across my face.
"So, anyway, moving on-"
But no, there is no mercy for me, Sam pouncing enthusiastically on the opportunity.
"Oh no, crazy besties, you don't get out of this so easily! Tell us a thing no one on YouTube has
seen."
There is immediate jeering and playful groans.
"Where do we even start?" Lucy laughs and the others agree vehemently.
"How about the hay thing? That was sexy."
Crap. There is torment headed my way, without a doubt.
"Only because you weren't there," Nia snorts sarcastically and then turns sly. "Oh, that's right.
You're the of the Alex Danvers Is Sexy Squad."
Yep. There it is.
Both of my lovers make funny noises that might be faint embarrassment and I can't help but
wonder if they're blushing as bad as I am. Nia is terribly pleased with herself, which I can admit is
really cute. Dammit.
"So, the hay thing. It was pretty funny actually, when I mentioned that we could bale our own hay.
Both of them looked like that emoji with the big eyes. I love my new fam, but sometimes, they are
very much city folk."
The melodramatic gasps from Kara and Lucy are eerily identical, right down to the comical
gesturing in the fakest offense. Nia chuckles and sticks her tongue out at them.
"We can be rather oblivious of the obvious sometimes, yes," I tease wryly and Lucy just lifts her
beer in salute. "But you keep us on track, little sister."
"Flatterer. So, you remember from the videos that we got a late start to properly grow orchard
grass, which is really a spring crop and our growing seasons are a bit short this high up. Still, the
crop was pretty good, all things considered. So much of what we've tried has worked out amazingly
well. I've been delighted to be a part of it."
A big cheer rings across the farm, one of the livestock guardian dogs barking off in the distance
and Briar braying back. That earns more laughter and barnyard noises. When we all calm a bit to
catch our breath, unsurprisingly, it's Lucy who keeps the shenanigans alive.
"Okay, I'm going to be the asshole who asks the inappropriate questions, because if I don't, Carol
might lose control and do it and get in soooooo much trouble."
Carol has the grace to look sheepish and my expressive snort nearly has beer out my nose.
"Does Sam ever-"
"Fall asleep on my chest? Yes." Lena's delivery is so deadpan she almost sounds annoyed and we
all dissolve into hysterics yet again. Sam twists around to get up on her knees and leer playfully at
her partner.
"Babe, you are my boob trampoline in only the best and most respectful of ways!"
"You're lucky to be cute, Samantha."
"And good in the sack!"
Despite knowing them better than anyone here, I can't help but gawk. "How do you get away with
that and not die?"
Lena smirks adorably while Sam waves the question off. "I am immune to the icy Luthor Glare of
Extra. It's the calf eyes that destroy me." Well, since she asked for it, I dutifully give her my best
sweet, needy face and she instantly rages, "yes, like that! Alex, you monster!"
I just smirk and make kissy faces at her.
Sam's POV
I've never been much of a dreamer, and the nightmares have been less and less over the years. But
even in sleep, I couldn't forget the soulful, wistful eyes of Alex as we left the firepit last night.
Lena whines and squirms as I slip away, settling when I scoot the bedding a bit to wrap her in my
lingering body heat. There is silence behind the curtain of Ruby's bunk and Lily and Monica are
lumps in the pull-out bed. After using the bathroom I'm seized with some sort of madness and snag
one of the warm Carhartt blankets Lena filched from Alex.
There is a soggy chill in the air as I step out to a morning still mostly black. Eight mornings ago,
this darkness would have scared me, made me feel like a stranger in a strange land. Now? Now I
pause after quietly closing the RV door behind me and soak in the environment around me.
A crow squawks and is answered by the raucous call of the jays as I grab one of the comfy outdoor
chairs that hasn't seen much use. Setting it so that I can gaze down the wide lane between Brainy's
barn and Alex's house, I bundle up and settle in.
The racket of the diesel Kubota roars to life and a swath of dim light appears over the pastures,
flickering with mammals and equipment moving about. One of the donkeys bray and the sheep
send up a racket of baaaing for their breakfast.
I hadn't understood the appeal of this, a life pure fiction on a computer screen… until I lived it.
Time ticks away with no care from me, which in itself is a foreign sensation. The lack of busyness
is unlike anything I've known, but for the first time… it doesn't feel stressed, or rushed, or weird.
Voices call back and forth, laughter ringing through the waking morning that is gray with a light,
creeping fog. Periodically, the urge for coffee pricks at me, but this drugging peace wins out.
Eventually the farm team grows closer until they are figures in the thinning mist. Lucy is smacking
her hat against her leg and waggles it at her little dog who bounces and yaps happily. Brainy lugs
his equipment to the door of his house-barn, completely missing my presence some twenty-five
feet away. With a flurry of giggles, Carol and Maria race down the gravel road towards their cabin
and last, but certainly not least, Alex materializes from the fog. Voice rich with mirth, she calls
after the giggly couple, "don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
"As if!" Carol yells back and Alex is still chuckling as she gets to her door.
A little zing of thrill echoes in my spine as she pauses as though something tickles her senses and
her head turns to me as accurate as any hound. Even with distance and dimness, I can feel that
charismatic gaze like a caress.
Understandably, I'm disappointed when she steps into her little house without a sound. But it's
short-lived as she appears just a few minutes later with full hands and BP, as always, shadowing her
heels. With a little curl of smile and gentle eyes, Alex simply holds out a steaming mug to me, for
which I willingly expose my hands to the chilly morning for. Then she sits beside me in the chair
that would normally hold Lena. Before my eyes see the contents, I can smell the richness of a good
broth. For a moment, it seems odd -and I'm faintly disappointed it's not coffee, I admit it- but then
I sip.
It's rich and heavy and almost as good as solid food.
Humming happily, I settle back into my blanket and the morning returns to its natural quiet, broken
only by animals and the whirr of a few passing cars out on the road.
"You're always a surprise, Doc," I tease gently into the quiet and Alex's mouth quirks into a smile.
I hadn't even noticed the lack of words because the whole setting is a conversation in itself. And it
calls for an honesty not easy for me. "When we knew we were coming here, I was indulging Lena
and the girls. I didn't expect to love it. Y'know, for all of this to get under my skin."
She nods and a few more slow heartbeats of quiet pass before she speaks up softly. "I know exactly
how you feel. Six months ago I was you. It takes some time to let the slow pulse settle in, calm the
rush-rush of city life. I was feeling insane with it."
The heavy sigh that escapes her speaks even louder than words and it takes a moment before my
silent patience is rewarded.
"There was something here for each of us. Just like Nia started out cooking, not just because the
rest of us were useless at it, but because she was desperate to be useful enough to be allowed to
stay. Now, she just likes taking care of a family that loves her just as she is. And to make sure we
city idiots don't die. Just as Brainy likes being around people who don't find him odd and have no
connection to his horrible bio fam. And Lucy has been able to bury some of her demons in the rich
earth."
"Who knew you were a poet." I tease and can hear the fondness in my tone. "What about Kara?"
"Kara oddly hasn't changed much at all. She's always been really good at knowing exactly who she
is and what she can bring to the world. There's a comforting calm to her, despite the energetic
nature. She's just happy to have the freedom to do what she loves, and have lots of animal friends."
"And don't forget being around her beloved big sister all the time."
Her sweet embarrassment is adorable.
Sound and movement in the RV nearly sends Alex off, but I persuade her to stay and help wake the
girls. I'm rewarded with her mischief of tickling at Lily and Monica's feet. Between their squealing
and Alex's ogre roaring, a sleepy-eyed Lena and Ruby come out to see what the hell is going on.
They're just in time to see the littlest of us pull Alex down like a pair of lionesses and then sit on
her. There is much giggling and playful begging for mercy before she sends them off to clean up
and change.
Lena is completely charmed. So is Ruby, but like most things, she tries to appear cool and
unaffected by the whole thing. Sigh. Teenagers.
Though clearly torn about staying, Alex does so, and is once again attacked by the littlest lionesses.
With Lily clutched to her chest and Monica glued to her back, she growls and stomps down the
steps to their squealing delight.
Despite the ax of separation hanging over us, the day feels pretty normal. Though I can feel that
I'm being a little clingy, browsing unmercifully at my family's plates for little bites. Alex still
seems a little bemused by it, but gamely lets me get away with it.
She fits so well to us, indulging me, keeping up intelligent conversation with my smart love and
kid and Lily focused when she starts to get hyper. I love that munchkin, but the vacation of having
someone else helping has been marvelous.
Once bellies are full, the girls beg to go hang out with the animals, their last chance to do so. Lily is
upset when Alex gently begs off joining them for a bit. For that, she is swept up into a big hug.
"I just need to do dishes, sweetie. It's my turn. I'll join you when I'm done."
Reassured and a little embarrassed at her overreaction, Lily is uncharacteristically quiet as she
transfers her clutch from Alex to me. Yeah, kid, I know how you feel. Alex's wistful little smile
stays with me as we troop out into the chilly day. Our first stop is, predictably, the kittens. Prince
Hairy Alfred Jeeves of the Adorable Mustache remains my special pal, crying for attention until I
pick him up for cuddles.
"Mom, look, their eyes are changing color," Ruby notes and I take a closer look at Alfred. Sure
enough, his blue eyes are a little muddy, hints of brown and gold erupting within.
We while away a good hour here, until weary kittens stumble into their hay cave to rest.
Melancholy is closing in again, broken when Alex calls to us from outside. "Hey guys! I have a
task and treats!"
It turns out both task and treats are for the animals, a pile of pumpkins stacked on the feed cart
alongside a jumble of food plants. The mess of halfheartedly carving the pumpkins to stuff them
with greens and corn and grain is a hit, Brainy unobtrusively filming away. Then it's a cart ride
behind the little tractor to deliver our holiday bounty.
Alex climbs out of the drivers seat to shoo Lena into taking over. It's sweetly hilarious that she
doesn't even hesitate, relishing her new skill in handling the powerful machines. With Alex
manning the gate, we drive right onto the pasture, the animals heading over in curiosity. It's pretty
funny to watch them try and puzzle out the pumpkins that smell of yummy things. While Alex is
distracting Briar with the crunchy apple treats, Davy takes an enormous bite of a gourd, the only
one big enough to do it. Jerkbutt noses at one set on the ground, unable to get a good nibble in. A
petulant stomp solves the problem and the camelids get to explore. Ruby takes the hint and jumps
up on the cart to hoist pumpkins over her head and give them a good toss, the contents scattering
explosively. Lily laughs so hard she gets the hiccups.
I'm no help, sneaking up on Alex and stealing an apple slice right out of her hand before Briar can
get it. Even Ruby squeals with laughter over that.
"What?" I say innocently. "I'm a mom. I snack!"
Just to horrify Lena, I even munch one of the little biscuit thingies for the equines that I fished out
of Alex's pocket. The expression on my partner's face is worth the dusty dry mouthful of grains and
leathery apple bits I almost choke on in my amusement. Alex gives me a playful wallop between
the shoulder blades and teases me.
"You're like a sly fox. Everything stolen tastes better."
She's not wrong, but unexpectedly, it brings up serious words in me, clashing feelings leaving me a
little vulnerable. "I think… I'm a social eater and never realized it. And me and Ruby didn't have it
great… y'know, before Lena and Lily came into our lives. I like the way we eat here, just group
food for everyone to share. Why did 'civilized' society stop doing that?"
Alex's dark eyes are soft when I search them for an answer.
"I have no idea, but I'm glad we have it now."
Jittery with the little emotional outpouring and needing to do something, I find myself volunteering
to help Kara tend to the young ostrich so that Alex can stick with the kids. It's a welcome break
from the high emotion and Kara is good company, cheerful and undemanding. By the time we've
raked and scrubbed and reloaded the food and water systems, I'm starving. Full of mischief, Kara
suggests a kitchen raid and we're off, giggling like children as we race across the grass.
Alex's words about everything tasting better when it's stolen echoes in my mind as I ruthlessly tear
into the farm's stocks of tasty things. When the carnage is over, I find myself on the floor, legs
outstretched, the both of us leaning against the cabinets across from the stove.
"I'm really going to miss how we eat here."
It's the first time I've voiced it, the ache of upcoming separation.
"Gonna miss us in the big city?" Kara teases gently and rests her head back against the cabinets. "I
don't know that I could do it again after this. Looking back makes me feel like I was an animal in a
cage and this feels like freedom." Her smile is soft. "Or at least the best enrichment."
Enrichment. It's an accurate term.
I look around at the debris of our gorging, crumbs of hearty granola and roast chicken, a smear of
tomato jam on a fallen crust of bread, the stink of garlic and apples lingering in the air.
I remember tastes in some of the bites, memories of the meals shared here, the noise and chaos
around great bowls and platters of eats, of the filling of soul as well as belly.
"I… I never really understood the comfort in food. It's just fuel, y'know? But here, I think I get it.
I've always been in such a hurry, like I'm running to stay ahead of danger and disappointment and
just so, I dunno, hungry all the time."
Despite my rambling and trailing off into an embarrassed silence, Kara looks at me with a gentle
gravity in her summer sun eyes.
"The social connection gets under your skin. I get that. But sometimes it's hard to lean into it, really
trust it."
"Wonder if it's gonna stay…"
Lena has never had it right, wondering if I'm always ready to bolt for the door. It's just… I have no
clue how to really settle, to be calm, to sate my endless hungers, so familiar that I don't even know
what they are anymore.
"If you ever need an ear," Kara says in that same gentle, conversational tone, "you just let me
know. I'll make time."
I can't talk around the lump in my throat.