AN: Thanks again for reading and reviewing!
"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"
By EsmeAmelia
Chapter 32
Ben jolted awake with a gasp, his mouth dry, his whole body aching. His arms and legs reflexively shot out only to slam into metal binders digging into his skin. After blinking several times, his world came into focus, revealing that mask staring at him. Sheer black except for silver outlining what would be the eyes, fully concealing whoever was under there.
"Where am I?" Ben demanded, doing his best to keep his voice steady.
"You're my guest," the woman in the mask said in a deep, menacing, eerily calm voice, keeping that continual stare.
"Where are the others?" Ben's heart thumped at the thought of Finn, Han, Chewie, all possibly captured because of him. Maybe the First Order was torturing all of them in cells similar to this one. Maybe they even had BB-8 and they'd find Luke Skywalker as well.
"You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?"
Ben's heart thumped at the word murderers. Finn . . . Finn was a stormtrooper, he'd lied about belonging to the Resistance, but he'd also left the First Order . . . he wasn't a murderer . . . was he?
"You'll be relieved to hear I've no idea," Ren continued, her voice nonchalant, though her head cocked as if she sensed something. "You still want to kill me?"
She sounded surprised – almost amused – at that idea, as if holding Ben prisoner wouldn't make him want to kill her, as if Ben was supposed to be gracious for her hospitality.
"That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask," Ben grunted, expecting the woman to taunt him some more, maybe even torture him . . . but he didn't except her to reach up to the mask and remove it . . .
. . . revealing a young, vulnerable-faced, normal woman.
Now it was Ben who was staring as the woman rose to her feet. He didn't know what he had expected to see under the mask, but it wasn't this. Someone so evil shouldn't have eyes that looked like they were in pain or brown hair neatly tied up in three buns, shouldn't look so normal.
In fact, in a different situation he might even think she was beautiful.
After throwing down the mask in what looked like a tub of gravel (what was that all about?), she strode up to Ben, towering over his helpless body, her eyes seeming to stare right into his mind. His mind . . . "The map, you've seen it" . . . oh shit, the stories he'd heard about Ren being able to read minds were true! She'd pry into his mind like a book and take out everything! For a moment Ben wondered if he could will himself to die before she could read his thoughts, then he wondered if thinking about something completely unrelated to the Resistance would fool her, then he wondered if making up something and thinking hard enough about it would fool her . . . dear gods she was about to take everything nothing he thought was safe SHIT!
"Tell me about the droid." Even without the mask, Ren's natural voice had such a force to it that Ben wondered if she could make him tell her everything.
"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive," Ben said rapidly, concentrating on BB-8's mechanical specs. He rattled off specs one after the other, imagining his mind closing everything in a box except those specs, losing himself inside BB-8's inner workings . . .
"Carrying a section of a navigational chart," Ren suddenly interrupted, her face bemused, "and we have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire, but we need the last piece – and somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you." Her glare fixed on him. "You . . . the scavenger."She said the word as if it was a joke. "You know I can take whatever I want."
The simple, nonchalant way she uttered that last sentence made Ben's heart race so hard that he swore he could hear it beating. She raised her hand up inches away from his head, close enough that he could smell her leather glove. Though he flinched away, all his nerves tensing at once, his soul begging no, no, please, don't let her do this! something ripped into his mind, cutting into his spirit like a knife, pain jolting through his head as if he'd been knocked into a daze, his every nerve screaming no, this isn't right, something NOT PART OF YOU is invading!
Invading . . .
Invading . . .
. . .
"You! You're afraid . . . that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!"
The connection abruptly broke, though the boy's words seemed to physically push her backwards. The scavenger Ben glared up at her, resolve where there had been fear, fierceness where there had been pain, seemingly aware of the dam he had broken in her mind, the memories pouring in her head so fast that it made her dizzy.
He knew.
She could tell just from his expression – the boy had seen that other life, seen Han Solo and Leia Organa, seen Rey Solo!
For a moment she wanted to strike him, but just looking at his face sent the torrent through her mind once more, made her stomach jump as if she'd actually vomit if she stayed here.
She saw Han Solo and Leia Organa cuddling their daughter, heard their laughter, felt their kisses . . .
No! No, that life was gone, that girl was dead!
Still the boy glared at her, a hint of triumph flowing from him, leaving her with only one option.
She ran.
. . .
Once again both halves of the dyad woke at the same time, staring into each other's eyes in the early morning light, each trembling even when awake, covers twisted around their bodies.
"You dreamed . . ." Ben gasped.
"We dreamed . . ." Rey gasped back, her eyes red as if she'd been crying in her sleep, her face glistening with sweat.
Ben wanted to wrap his arm around her, comfort her, let her rest her head on his chest, but no, he couldn't, not now, not when that memory was staring them both in the face. He realized that his hands were shaking and though he willed them to stop, even grunting in the attempt, they wouldn't obey his mind.
"I saw you," Rey choked out, sounding like she was struggling not to cry. "In the dream. You were me."
"I saw you too," Ben mumbled. "You were me."
"Why?" Rey's voice came out in a sob, her chest rising and falling in a rapid motion. "Why that memory?"
"Rey . . ." said Ben, instinctively reaching out to her.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She flinched away, her face scrunching like it had when he tortured her, leaving his shaking hand hanging in the air.
He closed his eyes, wanting to cry himself as he brought his hand to his chest, grabbing his sweat-drenched hospital gown in a vain attempt to get it to stop shaking, wishing, wishing, wishing he could go back in time and stop himself from everything.
"I'm sorry."
He opened his eyes to find Rey looking at him again, compassion in her teary eyes. "There's nothing to apologize for," he mumbled. "I'm the one who needs to apologize, but even if I apologize forever, it doesn't take away anyone's pain." He swallowed, blinking at her. "I am sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can't!"
They lay in silence until Rey vanished, unable to talk about the dreams, both the dream and the real memory racing in Ben's mind as if trying to break into the real world.