CHAPTER 32
BUCK P.O.V.
"I'm going insane here, Maddie."
Maddie glances over her shoulder, giving me sad eyes as she shuffles around the kitchen fixing up a cup of coffee for the both of us.
She places a plate of soda crackers sandwiched with butter in the middle in front of me. Before, I never would eat them but over the years I've grown to love eating them with my coffee.
"I know you love her but give her some time. She'll come around" Maddie places a hand on my shoulder as if to make me feel any less of what I feel inside. Empty.
"Listen, I know it's unfair. You two were finally happy together and I haven't seen you like this in so long. But coming from another woman, she probably can't process the thought of the person she loves having a kid with someone else. Not yet maybe but if-"
I shake my head. "What about me? Do you think I wanted this?"
"Of course not. Buck, it isn't fair for the both of you. Yes, she could've stayed by your side but have you thought maybe she hasn't loved someone as much as she loves you and that's why it hurt her so much that she reacted the way she did? Maybe this is all new to her. Loving someone the way she loves you and she's scared and doesn't know how to deal with it so... she pushes you away but I don't believe she will stay away forever. She'll come around."
I take a long sip of my coffee.
"Let me ask you something" Maddie continues.
"Say, what if Sam had slept with umm.." she taps her finger on her chin.
"What's that guy's name? The hot heart surgeon?"
I roll my eyes at my sister for thinking that jackass is attractive.
"Victor." I say through clenched teeth. A vivid flashback of him by Samantha's side at the charity event crosses my mind. The way he looked at her when she wasn't even talking. How he smiled when she would look at him. I know his intentions aren't to be just friends.
"Right. So imagine if Sam had slept with him before you guys got together and didn't mention it at all, for you to later find out she's pregnant by him. Would you have stayed?"
"Yes" I answer without thinking it thoroughly. Maddie raises an eyebrow at me.
"Maybe... I don't know" I sigh.
"But I'm not even sure I slept with this girl. I don't remember" I rub the side of my forehead with my fingers.
"Honestly, I don't trust this Sarah girl" Maddie shrugs, drinking out of her mug as she side glances at me. I try to hold back a chuckle.
"You mean Savannah?" I correct her.
"Who cares? I'm not a fan. If you had just remembered that night completely then this girl wouldn't have meddled in and came up with all this drama" Maddie's face starts to turn pink.
"But she slithered her way into your relationship, taking advantage of the fact that you don't remember a single detail of that night after that charity event and no one even knows if she's telling the truth. We can't... not until she gives birth to this baby"
"I don't know what to do anymore Mads. I just want my girl back" I say. Ever since me and Stella broke up it feels like this void has been created inside of me that can't be filled unless she's here. Nobody has ever made me feel this way. Not this fast or this deep. It's like a part of me knows she is the one.
"I've told you. You have to give it time."
"6 months?" I ask her.
"She might come back before those 6 months are up. You never know. Just let her have her time to think. You know how we women are. We always need space or time" Maddie smiles and I try to smile back but I can't.
"Her birthday is next week and I won't even be at her surprise party."
Gigi called me up a few weeks back to tell me her big plan she has for Sam. I had to act as if I knew what she was talking about. But Stella never mentioned her birthday to me. To be honest, I had a feeling she wouldn't have or maybe she would've waited until the day of. That's how she is. Full of surprises. It's one of the reasons I love her so much. Her stubbornness. Her way of making it seem everything else is so much more important than her. How difficult she can be at times. All of the many things I love about her.
And I can't even be with her on the day of the birthday. The thought literally pains me. I can feel my heart shattering into pieces. So cheesy to say but it's how I feel.
"Eddie will be there. Christopher loves a good surprise party and believe me, Sam is going to be surprised alright. I just can't bring myself to go because I don't know how she'll act if I do." I look at my sister.
Maddie has always been the best person you could talk to. She has this ability to listen to you, genuinely hear you and understand your feelings and have the right words to say. I've always admired that about her. If I didn't have her with me right now I'd probably be going more insane than I already am.
"I'm scared I'm the last person she wants to see" the sadness in my voice makes Maddie start tearing up.
"Damn it. You know it's easy to make me cry" she pushes my shoulder gently. A small laugh escapes my mouth. She reaches for a napkin and blows her nose.
"Things are hard right now but they won't be like this forever. I promise." She pats her nose softly to avoid it turning red.
"How about a trip?" Maddie says. I don't catch on to what she means.
"What?"
"Take a trip somewhere. I don't know, clear your mind and take time to yourself. It can help."
I think about it over in my head and the more I think about it, getting away from L.A for a while doesn't sound too bad.
"Hmm" is all I say.
"What about New York?" Maddie does jazz hands with a big grin on her face. I could never understand her love for that place. It's not that terrible but not my top choice. I give her a hard no.
"Windy City?"
"Sunshine state?"
"Yeah, to Sam's home state?" I say sarcastically. Maddie rolls her eyes. All of a sudden she slams her hand on the counter top.
"Oooo! What about New Orleans?" She seems proud with coming up with the idea. I think about it.
"Doesn't sound too bad." Am I really going to take a trip for a few days to get away from home and to avoid showing up to Sam's surprise party?
Seems about right. I laugh to myself.
"Who else goes away on a trip to escape their problems?"
"Umm, everyone... no?" Maddie chuckles.
"At least that's what I think people would do. How else would people deal with their problems?"
"I don't know, actually face them" I say. We both look at each other before busting out into a fit of laughter.
"Yeah, that was a good one. Anyways, I think I'm going to go home now."
"It is getting pretty late, sorry for keeping you"
"Don't be silly, you're my brother. I'll always come to your rescue"
"Shouldn't it be me coming to your rescue?"
"Will you just shut up and thank me for being a great sister?"
I pull Maddie in for a hug. I don't let go for a few moments.
"Thank you, Maddie." I whisper into her hair.
"Anytime Buck." She rubs my back gently.
I finally break the hug and walk her out to the door. She waves goodnight and I watch her all the way to her car, making sure she gets in safely. Once her car is out of sight, I lock myself in and walk myself to the bathroom for a hot shower.
The silence in my place is deafening. The silence never bothered me much but I can't help myself from craving the sound of her voice right now, her laughter filling the room. I imagine her walking to the kitchen to fix herself up a snack at this late hour and getting on her for eating late at night. To then her rolling her eyes at me.
I let out a deep sigh as I realize how empty it really feels without her here.
SAM'S P.O.V
SAMANTHA'S BIRTHDAY
"Sam, darling, how do you work this darn machine?" My mother calls out from the kitchen. I hurry out of my room to see what machine she is talking about now. I've failed to remember my mother isn't very up to date with the latest technology. Such as a Keurig machine.
"Mom, it's 4 in the afternoon... do you really need a cup of coffee right now?" I can't hold in my laugh.
Three small buttons blink a blue light, each a different cup size.
"See these light up buttons here? You have to choose what size cup you'd like" I point to the light up buttons on the side. She sighs out in frustration.
"How do I know which size is which? I can't see those small buttons" she leans in for a closer look, "And I feel like having a cup of coffee, what does it matter if it's 4 in the afternoon or 8 at night. I'm drinking my coffee regardless. Don't tell your mother it's not healthy for her because it is. For my mental state." Grant lets out a deep laugh from the living room.
"Your poor mother has never used a Keurig a day in her life. She still makes her coffee on the stove sweetie" he says to me. I shake my head as I look back to my mother, who is glaring at Grant.
"Surprising for a 45-year-old woman, no? You'd think she would've learned by now" he adds.
"Well why don't you come over here and teach me since you know everything" my mother throws her hands up in the air, waving for him to come into the kitchen and be her teacher.
"Matter of fact, I will. Stella seems to be in a rush to get out of here" Grant pushes himself off the couch and walks into the kitchen. I almost always forget the height difference between him and my mother. She looks tiny by his side. Despite him almost being in his 50s, his hair is still darker than my own. I don't even spot a strand of white hair in that head full of hair. Incredible. Overall, he's in great shape for his age.
My mother has never made it past 5'0 but she is as beautiful as she's ever been. Emerald green eyes, sandy brown wavy hair, golden skin and a body you wouldn't think a 45-year-old woman would have. Everyone is always shocked to find out how old my mom is. Rather how young she is for having a 24-year-old daughter.
25 actually. Today I turn 25. Disgusting the more I think about it. Blessed, but geez. I remember my 8th birthday like it was yesterday. Time passes us so fast. Faster than I would like it to.
"No I'm okay, I just have to get a few things from the store for dinner tonight" I give a big smile to my mom. After spending a good three days since she has landed in L.A arguing about how I don't want to go out on the day of my birthday, she finally gave in to doing a simple dinner for my birthday at home.
My mother doesn't return the smile. Only scolds me.
"Don't think I'm still not upset you don't want to go out and enjoy your 25th birthday!" She starts up. I groan in annoyance.
"I'm leaving now, I'll leave Grant to help you with the Keurig" I rush back to my room to grab my phone and keys.
"Who doesn't go out when they turn 25? I sure as hell did" I hear my mother say once I'm out of sight but I can still hear her very loud and clear from my room.
I grab my phone off my nightstand but before I turn away, I pause in my tracks, staring at what sits beside my bed on my nightstand.
Inside the box was a necklace, a beautiful one with a topaz stone in the shape of a teardrop. My birthstone. When I realized there was something engraved on the back of the pendant and what it was, I caved in and broke down. I had to cover my mouth to silence my sobs when I saw the small 143. Three words: one letter, four letters, three letters.
I love you.
The words echoed in my head in his voice.
I took a deep breathe before turning to exit my room. Maybe I will wear it tonight. Maybe.
"I'll see you guys in a bit, I love you!" I yell out before leaving out my front door.
"I love you sweetheart, drive safe please!"
"See ya kid" says Grant.
"Please don't burn my house down while I'm gone" I jokingly say.
"Can you believe her? 'Don't burn my house down', who does she think I am? You?" My mother's voice fades away as I shut the door behind me, laughing to myself as I hear her babble on to Grant.
My phone goes off once I hop in my car.
Gigi: I have your gift! Please come by and get it later today, I would like to see you :)
Me: Have a few errands to run, having dinner with my parents but I'll try and come by
Gigi: I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll be home around 6, see you then I love youuuuuu
"Ugh Gigi!" I say to myself. I check the time. 4:30p.m. I have a good hour to kill in order to make it to Gigi's to quickly get my gift and back home before all the food I pick up goes bad. An idea pops up in my head. I can invite Gigi over for dinner. I decide to ask her once I get to her place.
Thankfully I don't live far from all of the good stores in town. All the stores I went to weren't all top busy. A big relief. I was able to get all the ingredients I needed for tonight.
On the menu tonight is chicken Parmesan, baked ziti, and mom's famous spaghetti and meatballs with her special sauce. My mother's sauce is unbelievably delicious. She has never told me what she puts in it to make it sweet. She has never told a soul and I'm not sure if she ever will but for my sake, I hope she eventually passes her secret down to me. I'm not half the cook she is but if I am able to make her sauce whenever I want, I will be set. My mouth starts to water as I think about it. I am more than excited to finally have her special spaghetti and meatballs tonight after months of going without it.
After leaving the final store on my list, I send a quick text to Gigi to let her know I'm on my way. She responds within seconds.
Gigi: Call me when you're outside!
Whatever this gift is, I pray she didn't spend an unnecessary amount of money on me. I've never been big on people spending more than they should on me. Although, I am quick to drain my account for others. Just as long as they don't do that for me. I find more pleasure in giving than receiving. Gigi tells me all the time it's never a bad thing to enjoy receiving and that I need to learn how to do so. A smile forms on my lips. That girl tells me I have to break so many habits, I wonder if she can actually get me to break any of them. I love her determination though.
I text Gigi I'm here as I enter her neighborhood. She's already standing outside by her mailbox as I'm pulling in. There's an empty lot right across her house and it is filled with cars. Her neighbors must be having a party. I don't pay much attention to it as I get out of my car.
Gigi welcomes me with open arms and pulls me into the tightest hug possible.
"Happy birthday my love" she squeals.
"You're so old"
I grin though she can't see it. "And you're any younger?"
Gigi gasps. "You're lucky it's your birthday" she winks.
"Alright come on! I need you to close your eyes though" she says to me.
"Why?" I can't help but ask.
"Just do it and don't ask any more questions" she rushes me along up her drive way. I groan before putting a hand over my already closed eyes.
"Ahh I'm so excited" her front door squeaks as it opens. Her hand grabs mine and she guides me inside her house.
"Can I open them now?" I ask, eager to see what she has in store for me.
"I'm going to count to 5 and then you can open them" the excitement in her voice makes me feel a bit nervous.
"5" she starts to count down. "4...3...2...1"
Before I can even open my eyes, I hear millions of different voices around me.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
My mouth falls wide open as I look around. I look at Gigi who's looking at me with the widest smile on her face. And I look at everyone else in the room, staring at me all smiling.
My parents. Amanda. Mazzey. Dianne and a few of the other nurses. Eddie. Christopher. A few other people from work whose names fail to come up to mind.
The entire living room was covered in white and pink balloons. Towards her back door there were balloons that said "Happy Birthday SAMANTHA"
I'm in utter shock that I stand frozen at the entrance, trying to process it all.
"Oh my god" is all I manage to say. My mother walks up to me and embraces me. "Happy birthday my angel. I love you so sooooooo much!"
I wrap my arms around her. I feel a small smile forming on my lips. Never in my life have I been into surprise parties but I notice all the effort Gigi put into this and I can't help but love it. I feel a bit of mixed emotions but mostly love and appreciation. She took time out to do this for me. When I look around the room again, I feel ache in my chest.
Everyone is here but Evan. Did I expect him to come? Did I want him to?
No, I didn't expect him to. Yes, I wanted him to be here. Even if he came just to say happy birthday and leave right after.
"Happy Birthday Sam" Christopher wraps his small arms around my waist. The ache dissolves as I hug my sweet boy.
"Thank you so much, Chris. I'm so happy you're here" I tell him. His nose scrunches up. I missed him.
"I got you a gift" he says. Eddie walks up behind Christopher, handing him a small white bag, purple tissue paper sticking out. My name is written unevenly in red sharpie in large letters on the front of the bag. I thank Eddie and kneel down to where me and Christopher are the same height.
"You know you didn't have to buy me anything. Seeing you is the best gift I could ever ask for!" I say. Christopher giggles.
"Really?" He asks me, his cheeks turning a light shade of red.
"Of course, you're my sweet boy. What more could I ask for?"
I squeeze his cheeks very gently. Then the memories flood my mind. Memories of movie nights with Christopher and Buck. I fight the tears that are threatening to tear down my face.
Eddie clears his throat, still standing behind Chris. A small smile that seems to be hiding something behind it sits on his lip. I pull Christopher in for another tight hug as my mind itches to find out what Eddie knows.
"I've missed you so much" I whisper, my voice weak.
"I miss you more Sam but not as much as Uncle Buck I'm sure" he says so innocently. My chest tightens.
"Alright buddy, why don't you go say hi to the other guests. Daddy has to talk to Samantha, is that okay?" Eddie steps in. Christopher looks over to me with sadness behind his eyes.
"We'll talk later baby, I promise" I say to him, not being able to handle those sad eyes of his.
Christopher nods before making his way to the party, introducing himself to those who haven't had the pleasure of knowing him yet. The smile on my face grows watching him interact with everyone.
I let out a small sigh as I stand up, waiting for whatever it is Eddie has to talk to me about.
"Happy Birthday." His hands remain in his pockets but his eyes hold my gaze.
"Thank you, Eddie. I'm really happy you and Chris came. I've missed him."
"Of course." He rubs the back of his neck nervously. He seems tense as if he isn't sure how to tell me the news. It must be related to Buck, I'm sure of it. He wouldn't seem this anxious if it wasn't related to his best friend.
"Umm listen" he starts. He breaks the eye contact.
Here we go, I think to myself.
"It's about Buck, isn't it?" I state the obvious, earning a small nod from him.
"He wasn't sure about coming or not. After everything that happened, he felt it would've made it..." he struggles to find the correct words.
"Awkward?" I fill in the blank for him. He shrugs.
"I don't know. He hasn't been himself lately ever since this situation blew up in his face"
"You mean the situation where he slept with someone and lied about it to me then got her pregnant?" The words come out before I process what I say and I instantly regret sounding so hard, especially to Eddie who has done nothing.
"I'm sorry" I shake my head
"No, you're okay. I get it, but Sam I don't believe any of it" Eddie's voice drops lower.
"I know Evan. I strongly believe he wouldn't sleep with her. He says he doesn't remember anything but I feel this girl has filled him up with lies, taking advantage of the state he was in that night." He sounds confident in what he is saying. A part of me wants to believe it, because of how much I love Evan and want us to work out. Despite how hurt I was when this all came to light.
But the other part of me isn't so sure about how to feel.
"It hurt him. To see the person he loves the most walk away" Eddie's voice is gentle but his words feel like a slap to my face. Hearing him say out loud that I walked away. But what hurts more is he isn't wrong. I walked away instead of staying. Guilt washes over me
All of this could've been handled differently but count on Stella to let everything go to shit because she doesn't know how to let anyone love her and fix things in tough situations. Instead, she turns the other way. The easy way out. Hurting the one she loves.
I just don't know anymore. My head hurts thinking about it all.
"I'm so lost Eddie. I feel like it's too late to take back how I reacted"
"It's not your fault Sam. Anyone in your spot would've been hurt but..." Eddie hesitates. I know what he's trying to say.
"I shouldn't have walked away." I says
A silence falls over us as neither one of us knows what to say.
"He decided to take some time away from home." He replied
"What do you mean?" I asks
"Well, he called me this morning. From New Orleans. Said he needed to clear his head." Eddie says
"Oh" is the only thing I could say. As I'm about to ask when he is coming back, Gigi suddenly is at my side.
"Your mom is absolutely amazing! I can't get over h-" Gigi glances over at Eddie, not realizing his presence when she first came up to me. I notice the familiar look behind her eyes. That spark.
"I'm so sorry, did I interrupt you guys?" Gigi does not move her eyes away from Eddie, and his eyes don't move away from hers.
A shy smile appears on his face.
"Uh Gigi, this is Eddie, Maybe you remember him , from the Bar last time. Buck's best friend. Eddie, this is Gigi. My best friend" I introduce them. I notice the same spark behind Eddie's eyes which I had just seen in Gigi's as he reaches a hand out to her. This is going to be interesting.
"A pleasure" Gigi says, taking his hand in hers. I suddenly feel as if I'm no longer in the room as I watch them both look at each other with such similar interest. Maybe it's best I let them get to know each other without me awkwardly watching.
"Same here" Eddie says, cheeks going red. In all the time I've known Eddie, I have never seen him blush this way. Who would've thought? The best friend of the guy I am in love with and my best friend?
"I will let you guys get acquainted while I go talk to everyone else" I quietly dismiss myself making my way to the kitchen but they don't seem to notice.
I saw Amanda as she sees Amanda walks towards me.
"Hi , Sam can we talk?" She says
"Yeah sure!" I replied
"Happy Birthday! By the way. And also Sorry the way I reacted before" She says
"Aw, It's fine. You are still my best friend. I understand what you feel that day" I replied
" I'm really sorry. Anyways , How's you and Buck?" She asks
" We take some time away from each other. We need our head to think clearly" I replied
"Listen, Sam. I broke it off with Tyler. And before that I talk to him. Tyler thinks it's his baby" Amanda says
" What do you mean?" I asks
" Tyler told me everything. Tyler is with Savannah after the Gala. " Amanda replied
"I'm lost. Amanda. " I replied
"10 pm at Gala night . I don't feel well because I ate some that I was allergic at. So Tyler bring me home that time. " She says
" He told me that he was going to Manny's he will meet his Friends Then Tyler told me he saw Savannah and Buck in Manny's. At 1am Tyler saw Savannah struggling at holding Buck's because he was very drunk" She continue
"and then? " I says
" Savannah saw him and asks some favor to help her to take Buck home. He help her though~ and Savannah is really pissed because her date is drunk. They went inside of Buck's home. Tyler told me they went inside of Buck's room and help Savannah lay him in the Bed."
" Tyler left Savannah in Buck's home for a while. At around 2am Savannah call him says to him that her Date is no longer here, can you be my date today? Tyler told me that they check in to the Hotel and there that's how they Started. And Tyler has a gut to ask me to be his girlfriend in the morning after the Gala. I hate them both" Amanda continues
" Are you sure Tyler is telling the Truth ?" I asks
" I don't know, Sam. I know it's not enough evidence that Tyler is telling the truth and not enough Proof that Buck and Savannah never slept together. Because Tyler left her there, for 30minutes I think before Tyler went back for her there. " She replied
" Thank you, Amanda, for this information anyway ." I says
" Of course no Problem. Yeah! I know it's not enough evidence or proof that they don't hook u. But Don't let Savannah ruined your relationship. She already ruined mine, not yours too. " Amanda replied
" It's your Birthday! You deserve to be happy. You are a Good friend Sam. I love you!" Amanda continue.
"I'll just get some food. Amanda. Let's talk later" I says as we hug and laugh.
'I am so mad! Savannah! I'll ripped her apart for lying to me! I really hope she is lying to me' I thought
I watch all my friends and some of the nurses sit around laughing. My parents stepping over each other's feet as they try to move to the quick beat, Eddie and Gigi still in full conversation only now Christopher sits next to Eddie, admiring Gigi just like his father is. They're all here for me but I still can't help but feel like I'm missing something. Missing someone.
I approach Eddie and ask him something
"Hi, excuse me. Eddie, can we talk for a minute?" I asks
" yeah, sure what's up" He asks
" I talk to Amanda earlier," I replied as while I told him what Amanda's story. Eddie and Gigi can't believe what they hear.
" Is she sure?" Gigi ask
" not really, But I want my man back. G!" I says
" Then ? what are you waiting for? Go get a flight" Gigi replied
" Yeah! I'll let Maddie know. Buck's is with Maddie" Eddie says
" And I'll book your ticket. After the Party , you go home and pack your things. Tell him what you know and how you feel. Get your Man back. He is yours " Gigi says
" Thankyou! Yes I will. I'll tell my mom about this " I says
I scan the room and find my mom. As I found her. I told her everything. And she is happy about the news. She hugs me and tell me Goodluck!
AFTER THE PARTY
SAM'S P.O.V.
I was packing and preparing for my light at 2am. I took a bath and get dressed. And wear the Necklace he gave me. I can do this ! I thought
My Mom , Eddie and Gigi bring me to the Airport and wishes me a Goodluck. I really need that.
" Maddie already texted me the address and name of the Hotel where they staying" I says
" Maddie is very happy" Eddie replied
" See you soon" Gigi says as she cry
" HAHA! G! Don't cry, I will be back after 2 days. We can still see each other Silly!" I says
Our talking interrupted of the announcement from the airport
Attention passengers on English Air flight 232 to New Orleans. The gate is already open. Go to the Departure Gate 26. Thankyou.
"Ok! That's my flight! See you soon!" I says as I walk away from them
" I love you! Sweetie! Goodluck!" My mom shouts
" I love you too!" I replied