"Use your heart and not your eyes
Baby, just relax and ride
If you got time then I got time
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Free your thoughts and watch them fly
Use your heart and not your eyes
My goodness, how it seems like yesterday
She crossed you, hurt you in the strongest way
You hurt so long, reward come to those who cry
Real love, purified"
SWV – "Use Your Heart"
She listened to every word, every curse, and every precious thing he had to say about Kris.
Dionne spent many Austin nights sitting at the bar with him tossing back whiskey and wine as Erik poured his heart out. He was never one to tell his innermost feelings about his love life, but he was three sheets to the wind that first night breaking away from the tiny terror of Mariscal. Even through the hot saliva in his mouth that turned into bitter spit bemoaning his fate, Dionne sat next to him nodding and smiling and encouraging him to let everything out. When midnight rolled around and they were still planted on bar stools, Erik's chest heaved with relief. He aired out his grievances and he could move forward in some kind of way.
"Sounds to me like your heart is still with her," Dionne said.
"People talk about heartbreak all the time but that shit ain't just a euphemism. This muscle right here just shredded in my chest. I was on the fucking ground… cryin' like a lil bitch. The fuck?"
Dionne cackled.
"You've never had your heart broken before?"
"Nah. Not like that. I've had women dump me because of some shit I've done, or I've bounced, but… shieettttt. This was one for the ages."
He fished a melted ice cube from the bottom of his liquor glass and popped it in his mouth. He chewed and the cold, crunchy texture of it made him feel better physically. Dionne bid him farewell and he staggered to the elevator and rode up to his suite and slept soundly. The next day, after contracts were signed, and keys delivered, Erik returned to the hotel and set up job opening announcements for cooks, wait staff, hosts, and bartenders online. Several TLS employees back in Mariscal were offered advancement and jobs at the new location first and would start helping to train new staff in a month. Equipment, décor, and furnishings would arrive in two weeks, so Erik and Blue had to handle all of that in Austin.
Erik's spent his third night at the Chamber of Commerce meeting. He showed out in a new business suit while being welcomed with open arms for bringing new jobs and a solid business reputation. Some of the business elite there bristled at the hourly wages he paid that were higher than the national average. He explained that a living wage was good for business and created loyal staff. The after-meeting mixer had Dionne introducing him to important people she felt he should get to know well. She knew how to work a room and by the reaction to her presence there, Erik knew she was solid. Polished and professional with a quiet storm radio voice, the woman was a business rock star. Wealthy family, successful extended kin, and pulling in a healthy seven-figure income with her own real estate empire, Dionne matched Erik pound for pound. She was also funny as hell and kept him laughing so that his thoughts of Kris didn't sting as much as the days wore on.
Dionne had been married once before and divorced young so there was a savviness to the way she moved around him. She didn't have to say out loud that she was single and ready to mingle with him, but he knew their platonic interactions were about to end when she asked him out to a jazz concert at a popular Austin bistro. Blue tagged along with them and they had an enjoyable time. They all agreed to give the new location a year, and if it was a success as they knew it would be, then there would be a talk about looking into the Dallas market with Dionne's help. The night ended with Dionne driving Erik and Blue back to their hotel, and when he turned to say goodbye with his hand on the passenger door, she handed him a beautiful half-inch pewter charm pendant that looked like the Star of Bethlehem.
"My father made his first million with a charm like this. You have his drive and talent, Erik. Maybe it will bring you good luck like too?"
He took it from her.
"It kind of matches your necklace," she said.
He touched the silver chain around his throat.
"You brought us luck by finding a better location at the last minute, so I'll accept this humbly," he said.
She had a beautiful smile, and it lit up her face. He felt it then, a tugging inside of his mind that made him think he would endure letting Kris go and being open to someone new so soon.
"Night," she said.
"Night."
Inside his hotel bathroom, he slipped off his necklace and added the charm to it. It was a tasteful addition to the chain.
When he fell asleep that night, it was the first time that he didn't dream about Kris. Maybe he was on the mend. The feeling lasted the next night, and the night after that, and soon enough, work occupied his time. Flying back and forth to Mariscal began once TLS Austin was furnished and fully staffed. He returned to Austin longer once training began and his favorite moment was watching the new staff learn the line dances and server steps to all the music they played. He flew Rekia in for that day to show everyone how it was done for real. He also let her know that he and Blue wanted her to become the new assistant manager back in Mariscal. She was so shocked that she ran into the bathroom to call Kris and tell her the news.
Rekia returned with the biggest grin plastered on her face.
"I told Kris. She had great news too. They offered Kris her first book contract!"
Erik excused himself to the new office and called Kris on his cell. Her voicemail kicked in, but he didn't leave a message. Didn't text her either. Strange. He let her revel in her good news without his input from afar. Erik wasn't sure how he could speak to her when he had ignored her for so long to get past his pain.
Giving himself two days of rest back in Mariscal, Erik took a chance and invited Dionne to a listening party of a local zydeco band that played for TLS often. She was familiar with the group and they met up at a music lounge on a Saturday night and enjoyed quickstep dancing and shared their first kiss in the parking lot. She invited him to dinner at her home in the suburban hills of Culpepper Heights, a suburban section of Mariscal. After tasting seasoned lemon salmon and risotto, Erik had his first taste of Dionne in her bed. Walking into her home, the sensation of not leaving her side that night came over him. Their courtship began after that and his thirty-year entry into older adulthood churned wheels that felt greased to move his life along quickly.
They kept the relationship private. He knew it bewildered his family with his new non-existent interactions with Kris, and he didn't want to throw his new woman all up in Kris's face either. She would probably think this was a rebound affair, and he wanted to make sure that Dionne was a keeper.
She was.
His lady pampered him with oiled back rubs when he dragged over to her house after exhausting work. Home-cooked meals filled his belly from her kitchen and he found solace from the new external business pressures in her arms. If there was one thing he learned from Kris, it was to appreciate an emotionally mature woman with a sharp mind.
Erik loved coming home to someone that wanted him the same way he wanted them. It was refreshing, and it emboldened him to bring Dionne to his birthday party among his family at The Roux. It was their official coming out as a couple, and he wanted to do it at a family function where everyone would be there. He wasn't even thinking about Kris or her reaction when he pulled Dionne against him and proudly showed off a woman who was of equal yoke as his Nana would say. Puffing his chest out, his skin hummed at the significance of the moment. Dionne was the first woman to step on family land as his partner. The first he brought to his home. The first to share his bed…
Not true.
Kris had been there.
But that was different. She had never been his woman. Not the way he wanted her to be. So technically, Dionne was the one. And that girl made her first time there memorable to him when she gave Erik the best birthday sex he ever had in his life. Once they put away his gifts, she touched his pewter charmed necklace, undressed, and pulled him into his bedroom where she fucked his brains out.
He gripped those hips, bent her over, and plunged into complete bliss. She threw that ass back and he caught every toss, their bodies slapping hard and loud. His lower back tensed as the muscles in his thighs shook when he spilled into the condom, and he prayed it wouldn't burst from the release that poured out of him. Rolling his neck on his shoulders to ease the tension he carried there, his mind stumbled onto Kris as Dionne stepped into the bathroom. All he could picture was the bewildered look on her face as he told her about behavior when Dionne left to retrieve his birthday gift. He hoped the dig hurt because it was true. He gave Kris his all and she shit all over his effort. The thought vanished as soon as it drifted into him.
Dionne grinned in the bathroom mirror.
"Like it?" she asked.
This woman loved reassurance from him all the time.
"Hell yeah."
He stepped into his showered and adjusted the water temperature. Dionne climbed in behind him and they kissed and splashed water on each other.
"C'mon, we gotta get back to the house," he said as she nibbled on his lips playfully.
She dropped to her knees and took his penis in her mouth making him rise to the occasion with very little effort. Erik braced his arm against the shower wall as he thrust into her mouth. Her lips wrapped around his balls and hot ropes of cum shot over her head. He grunted and fisted the last of his ejaculate so it wouldn't fall into her hair. Giggling, she lifted to her feet and washed his body for him, allowing her straightened hair to get soaking wet. Dripping ringlets created a crown of curls on her head.
"Now see, they gonna know we were down here messing around," he grumbled.
"I don't care. I want to make my man happy on his big day."
She tugged on his necklace and the grin on his face made her sprinkle kisses on his cheeks with her full warm lips. They held hands when they sprinted back to the main house hoping no one noticed their long disappearance. Approaching the lake, he saw Selena sitting with Kris. His cousin's eyes found him and creased lines painted Selena's forehead. Kris had her back to him but the slumped shoulders told him something was wrong. Dionne's secure fingers threaded with his and pulled him into the house.
His birthday celebration carried on until one in the morning. Drained and pleased with the turnout, he watched Dionne chat with his parents while Nana Rae shot him heated glances.
"Thank you for everything," Dionne said as she clasped his hand tighter, "I'm so glad to finally meet everyone. Look forward to seeing you all again soon."
He tugged on Dionne's hand as Nana Rae made a move to corner him.
"Night everyone, thanks for a great day!"
They made haste back to his place.
Dionne gave him seconds and thirds of intimate coupling. Morning greeted him with fried sausage, fried eggs, and fried potatoes from Dionne's hand.
"A man could get used to this," he said tucking into a full plate.
"I'll keep doing it then," she teased.
Erik took her horseback riding and gave her a riding tour of the ranch before she had to leave to prepare for work the next day He spent the evening decompressing from the weekend. A shrieking noise from outside his bedroom window startled him and he went outside to find two fat crows fighting over aluminum foil and a paper plate.
"Get!" he shouted scaring the birds away.
He picked up the refuse they fought over and saw the remnants of red velvet cupcakes. How did those greedy scavengers get a hold of his birthday cupcakes? Glancing around he wondered if his grandmother had brought them down while he was out riding.
###
Erik worked the bar at TLS Mariscal on a packed concert night. A popular blues band from Atlanta came through for two shows. They had a new number one hit from a reality TV show based out of Jackson, Mississippi and it seemed like half of Mariscal wanted to see them. The cover charge at the door was high and people didn't mind paying. There was a line around the building of people hoping to get in.
"Look at you skinnin' and grinnin'," Rekia joked as she walked past him behind the bar.
She had spruced up extra special for the night and Erik was pleased that he gave her the opportunity to take on more authority at the saloon. Rekia hustled at TLS for three years and deserved the opportunity to boss up and become part of management.
Kris rounded the lengthy maple bar countertop with an empty serving tray. Her eyes met his without her glasses on, and she placed an elbow on the wood and leaned toward him. A fluffed-out curl fell over her left eye. He gave her a friendly smile. They had finally reached an impasse with their new lives apart. A friendship really wasn't possible yet, not with Dionne playing an integral part of his life, but they were cordial with one another at the job.
"See that guy over there," Kris said indicating the table with a head nod.
Erik looked over her shoulder and saw a burly-looking man with vivid tattoos on his dark umber skin. He was surrounded by two other beefy-looking men, and a slip of a beautiful dark brown woman with long maroon-dyed tresses that reached down to her waist.
"Yeah," Erik said.
"He ordered a whisky sour for himself and two liquid cocaine shots for the woman. I need you to water down her drink. I can't get a read on them exactly, but he asked me to make sure the drinks were strong. I think he's trying to get her faded fast and I'm sure she doesn't know them. I've been watching them and it looks sketchy to me."
Her eyes glanced back over at them. The woman appeared tipsy and unfocused on the band playing Blues so tough that Erik kept making stank faces behind the bar because it was hitting so hard in his soul. He peeped the predatory vibes, especially from the other two men who stole furtive carnal looks at the woman's bare thighs and suggestive cleavage in her cute lavender top.
"Gotcha," Erik said.
He whipped up the drinks and toned down the woman's shots and placed a glass of water with the order too. Kris picked it up.
"I'll ask if she has any girlfriend here," Kris said.
Erik and Rekia watched Kris throw her shoulders back as she pranced over to the table and presented the drinks. When she lifted the glass of water from the tray and set it down in front of the woman, the Tattoo man slammed it back on the tray and said some words. Kris placed a hand on the woman's shoulder and spoke close to her face. Another man interfered and jabbed his finger toward Kris.
Erik left the bar and weaved himself through the party crowd.
"We good over here?" he said.
He put some heavy bass in his throat and returned the mad dog stare to all the men sizing him up.
"Hey, Sweetie, do you have some girlfriends here that came with you?" Kris asked.
The woman mumbled something that Erik couldn't catch and Kris helped her from the stool and lead her toward the saloon exit.
"Make sure to tip your servers well tonight, partna," Erik barked out before leaving the table.
No sooner had he returned behind the bar with Rekia, the three men left their table and headed for the exit too.
"Erik," Rekia mumbled.
His eyes darted around looking for his bouncers, but they were busy near the stage and patrolling the back booths. Erik lunged back into the mix of people and made a swift departure from the building. He couldn't see Kris or the drunk woman anywhere, but he caught sight of one of the beef-eaters. Hustling forward, he caught the Tattoo man yanking on the arm of his prey as Kris tried to thrust herself between them. The man shoved Kris aside, and both women tumbled against the side of the TLS wall.
"Fuck you doin'?!" Erik shouted.
He shoved the man away from the women, and the other two men backed up their pack leader. Tattoo took his two cement block fists and pushed Erik back until he was against the wall. Mammoth fingers grabbed a hold of his tailor-made button-down shirt and ripped several pearl buttons off. Reaching down deep, Erik shocked the Tattoo with a surprise southpaw jab to the jaw and the man fell back against his friends. They pushed him forward and Tattoo man clawed at Erik's throat before one of the security team ran over to handle the problem guests.
"You okay?" Erik asked Kris.
She nodded and turned her attention back to the woman.
"I think they put something in her drink," Kris said.
The glassy eyes and lack of coordination had them both worried.
"Call nine one one," Erik said as he went over to the bouncer and the extra security to accost the men.
Within fifteen minutes he was dealing with the police, a frazzled victim, and the victim's friend's who had been inside on the dance floor shaking their hips and having a great time. He turned everything over to the cops and waited to the side as Kris stayed with the woman and her entourage until they left to take her to the hospital to check her system.
"You saved that woman's life," Erik said.
The worry in Kris's eyes slowly dissipated.
"You helped too."
"Only because you told me what was up."
Her eyes narrowed a bit, and she stepped forward staring at his neck.
"What?" he said.
Her right index finger touched the charm on his necklace.
"That's really pretty. Where did you get that?"
Her eyes took in the charm's detail.
"It was a gift," he said with a sheepish tone in his voice.
"Different for you," she said.
"Brings me good luck."
Her eyes narrowed then, and her lips pursed. Erik touched his shirt. The missing buttons had him showing a little skin. Kris's eyes noticed and she looked away. There was a tear in the material.
"She's going to kill me," he mumbled.
Kris heard him, and a sly smile came over her face.
"Better try to find the buttons and sew 'em back before she sees it," she teased.
Erik could see she was trying to make light of the situation. He returned her smile and stopped fingering his shirt.
The rest of the night went off without another hitch and they made a ton of money from the music and the menus. By the time the band was sitting on a side wall selling their CDs and other merch for straight profit, He and Kris had actually relaxed around each other, even joking together. For a moment it felt like old times when she shoved her hip into his when he teased Rekia about her new Assistant Manager voice she had cultivated to sound extra classy.
"I don't know why you're laughing at it, I sound just like Dionne," Rekia retorted.
Kris fell out then, and Erik pushed her arm as Rekia tended to a customer. There was a small bit of play fighting between them, but he crossed the line when he tickled her and his right hand brushed against her breast. His fingers went all muscle memory on him and the caress that was playful had him pressing his palm into her. A soft sigh left her parted lips and he stepped away fast. He made himself busy putting away clean glasses.
"Sorry… I wasn't trying to… it slipped," he mumbled to her.
She went about her job and they didn't interact again until the saloon was cleaned and vacated at closing. He had the bank bag tucked into his arm and he twirled the building keys waiting for the last of his employees to exit before he was free.
Once he was on the road, he touched his charm and prepared to explain to Dionne why he had a messed-up shirt. Kris promptly left his mind, and he felt better for it.
###
They were kind to her that morning.
Kris shuffled her tarot cards and pulled one. Judgment.
She wrote it down in her journal and meditated on any thoughts that flowed through her staring at the card. Jotting down the feelings and emotions the card elicited, she put the deck away and lifted her bone bag. Pouring the contents into her hand, she fondled them carefully before blowing her breath over them. Closing her eyes, she tossed the bones on her rattan tray and sat peacefully. Setting her intentions in alignment with the idea of judgment, Kris opened her lids and studied what the bones had to tell her. Impressions came to her fast, and she wrote them down.
There was warmth in the bones. She felt enveloped in an aura of kind energy and kind thoughts for herself.
Progress.
With her personal reading complete, Kris spent the rest of her morning making orders for her online shop. Kristina's Kitchen Juju. Her most popular item lately was Healing Heart Anointing oil, something she had created for herself with the help of her Granny's old herbal notes. She used it to help get over the loss of Erik, and she started selling it after making a few samples for Rekia's relatives. It became a hit, and she whipped up a batch to market online. Her online store was doing well for being so new. She was pulling in an average of two hundred dollars a month with only five items listed on her very generic webpage. Kris considered investing money into a webpage designer, but the bit of money trickling in helped her cut down a workday from TLS so she could cultivate more time to write her book. Telling Erik about her schedule change made her feel proud. Her book contract was signed, sealed, and delivered. The publisher gave her a small advance of two thousand dollars after she turned in her proposal. She basked in the glow of Erik's smile then, and she basked in the thought of seeing it again that afternoon.
Kris had the day off, but Erik asked her to bake him two-dozen red velvet cupcakes for his grandmother's birthday. Nana Rae was having brunch with Granny May after a birthday trip to Vegas with her Pop Pop. Erik said he tried baking the cupcakes himself with the recipe she emailed him, but they didn't taste the same. They weren't as moist and the frosting came out chalky and not creamy.
She baked and stuffed pre-paid packages with her blessed oils. When her tasks were complete, she stopped at the post office then headed out to The Roux.
Erik galloped Big Man past her when she pulled her car near his house. Stepping out of her car with the travel container of cupcakes, she watched him push his horse to stretch its legs.
Show off.
He knew she loved staring at him while he rode. He might've been taken by another woman, but his flirty nature betrayed him every time when he showed off. Kris walked up the steps and kicked her feet on the doormat.
Her fingers gripped the doorknob and when she turned to open it, her eyes caught sight of the mat as she crossed the threshold. There was the usual brown dirt, but it had a red tinge to it. She lifted her foot up at an angle to see what was on the bottom of her ankle boots. Dirt and more red dust. Kris took the cupcakes into his house and dropped them on his kitchen table. Taking off one of her boots, she checked the sole again. Her nose wrinkled. She touched the dirt and dust. Smelled it.
Walking back outside, she stepped down off of his porch, squatted, and stared at the dirt. Running her fingers through the top dark brown layer that had Erik's big footprints all over it, she uncovered a swathe of red dirt underneath.
Impossible.
The subsoil on the Steven's East Texas land didn't have red clay like some parts of West Texas. There were no patches of red dirt on any top layers around their property either. This was a deliberate anomaly. Smelling it in her hands and rubbing it across her fingers made the hairs on the back of her neck prick up. A small buzzing started in her ear. That always happened when her mind searched for some tidbit of information that she had forgotten.
Juneteenth.
The Mariscal Texas Fair.
Kris and Rekia and a couple of their other friends had strolled around eating cotton candy and ran into Erik and Dionne. Things had been cordial. Dionne congratulated Rekia and Kris for holding down TLS while Erik was handling the grand opening of TLS Austin. The woman gave them awkward hugs with platitudes, and Erik had to pull her along because it was obvious she was buzzing as she clung to him with a ridiculous grin on her face. She touched Kris's butterfly locs and gushed over how pretty her hair was before they moved along. Weeks later, when Kris cut the tips of her locs off to help facilitate undoing her braids, she found two little sweet gum balls embedded in the synthetic hair. Witches burrs. She couldn't fathom how they got there. Sometimes lint or random threads from sweaters got tangled in small clumps throughout her locs after long wear, but those small spikey seed pods weren't natural for those parts. They were stuck in her locs deep, deep enough for her to wash and dry her hair for two weeks without noticing them.
That bitch was clever.
Kris sprinted to her car and flung the driver's door open. Rummaging in her center console, she found an old piece of a silver stud earring that she meant to replace the lost one with. It was why she had it in her car to remind her to buy a new one.
Kissing the earring shaped like a tiny daisy, she buried it inside the red brick dust and covered the brown dirt on top of it. She didn't want Dionne to know she was on to her. Hopping into her car, Kris drove to the main house and was happy that her Granny was there with Nana Rae in the large kitchen eating soup and salad.
"Right on time!" Nana Rae said standing up to fix Kris a bowl of thick hearty minestrone.
Kris opened an app on her phone and used her finger to draw a picture. She held it up for her grandmother to see.
"What is that?"
Granny May squinted her eyes and enlarged the basic sketch Kris created.
"Where did you see this?"
"Erik is wearing it."
Nana Rae walked next to Granny.
"What is it?" she asked, her eyes dropping to look at the etching of the charm Erik always wore around his neck.
"That's Nedi Charles's work," her grandmother whispered.
"What does this charm mean, Granny?"
"It's to ward off evil. It keeps the wearer protected from those who would harm them."
"Where she live?"
"No, baby. You don't want to go down to the dip where she stay."
"What's going on?" Nana Rae asked, the stress level raised in her voice.
Kris glanced at Nana Rae.
"I'll take care of it," Kris said.
"No. Don't mess with that one. Not in person."
Granny grabbed a hold of her hand and placed her cell phone in it. The tone of her voice let Kris know they would talk later.
"That soup smells really good, Miss Rae," Kris said taking the bowl from her hand and carefully setting it on the kitchen table.
"Don't do that, don't try to switch the conversation. My boy in trouble?"
"You trust me?" Granny May said.
Nana Rae stared into the eyes of her oldest friend since childhood.
"Yes, I trust you."
"Then let's eat. Kris got this."
Granny May's voice tried to convey confidence, but Nedi Charles had her sounding worried. Kris ate her soup and listened to the women chat about the church, the weather, and cheating husbands. Her left leg shook with impatience as she tried to leave them after a respectable amount of time without looking like she was fleeing in terror.
Her heart lurched thinking about all her suspicions about Dionne. At first, Kris's ego felt bruised that Erik had dropped her and found someone so fast. On the surface, they looked like a dynamic couple. Even Kris had to admit that seeing them together gave her visions of a perfect fit. She was tall like him. Had an envious physique. A wardrobe to die for. Shoes to kill for. Always poised. Erik stopped hanging out after work and spent all his free time with Dionne. His family barely saw him since he was practically living with her on the other side of the city. He was caught up in new love. Instantly. Now Kris knew why. Someone wasn't playing fair with his heart.
Enough time passed and Kris excused herself from the main house and drove back to Erik's place. His fresh footprints were tracked over the path of the hidden brick dust. She hoped the silver in her earring short-circuited the connection around his home. Not bothering with knocking on the door, she burst in breathless.
"We have to talk!"
Erik stood with a cell phone jammed against his ear in his living room.
"I'm on the phone with, Dionne, give me a minute—"
"Bitch, I'm on to your little game," she shouted into the phone.
Erik snatched the phone back.
"Lemme call you back… nah… I'll take care of this real quick. Don't go nowhere."
Swiping his phone, he placed it on his coffee table.
"Fuck is your problem?" he barked.
His jawline clenched tight, and he was ready to let her have it with a serious tongue-lashing. He didn't have the right to look that fine being angry with her. Making her lose focus with a stare that reminded her of being in bed with him had her hot and bothered. Erik was the center of a crisis and didn't even know it.
"I suspect… no… I know that your little girlfriend is not being honest with you."
"About what?"
"About how she got you."
"She got me because I picked her—"
"I don't believe that—"
"Now it finally comes out. You wanna have a jealous fit now? I've been with this woman four months."
"She put witch's burr in my hair. She's got a brick dust mixture outside your house so she can bind you to her…"
She jabbed her finger against his charm necklace.
"She gave you that so she could control you."
His eyes bore into hers.
"For real? This how you come at her?"
Kris grabbed his hand and yanked him outside. She kicked over the dirt so he could see all the red brick dust planted right under his nose. He only stared at her face.
"See? People use this to trap it on your shoes so it sticks to you…"
He started laughing and climbed back up the steps.
"Erik, listen to me."
"Look, I know you and Miss May do your thing. I used to be scared of it, but I know it's harmless now. And so what? I want to be with her. If she went to someone and paid money to try to get me, well it don't matter because I wanted her anyway. She didn't trick me and this won't make me leave her. So just get over it. You had your chance, and you said fuck it."
"It's not right… people shouldn't use it to force people to do things they may not want to do—"
"What are you not hearing? I want to be with her. She wants me. She doesn't have to use oils and powders and juju spells to trap me. She got me. If doing this makes her feel secure, then I'm good with it. Anything else?"
Kris chewed her lip and looked away from his blazing eyes. He picked up his cell from the table.
"Do you love her?"
Erik's eyes cut back to hers.
"Yeah, I do. And that shit is real. Not magic."
Kris thought her legs would give out. She took a wobbly step away from him.
"You called me a demon, and let her call me one too… she's using all this stuff against me… to keep me from you—"
"I was mad at you Kris. I called you all kinds of terrible names because I was hurt. I'll tell her to quit because I don't want you. No need to worry about that. Once I'm gone, I never come back."
"You went back to Vanessa—"
"I fucked Vanessa! I didn't go back to her like I was her man again. Fuck! Are you done?"
"You don't care that she would use negative things against me?"
"What's negative? Has your life been greatly impacted? No, it hasn't. You got what you wanted out of life. Freedom. Boyfriends. A book deal. Be grateful for your blessings. I'm sure as hell grateful for mine."
Kris stomped her foot and let out an exasperated howl.
"Are you throwing a tantrum? What do you want me to say?"
It was an imbroglio of epic proportions. She stomped her foot again and Erik laughed at her, a full-on belly laugh that made her clench her teeth. Lunging forward, she knocked his cell phone out of his hand. It clattered loud on the floor. The screen shattered.
"You're paying for that,' he retorted.
She screamed inside her throat and clenched her fists.
"I hate to tell you this, but you really are cute when you're pissed."
He bent down to retrieve his phone and she jumped on his back hitting him with everything she had in her. He batted her weak attempts away and held her back by her shoulders.
"Stop. Now you're being ridiculous. Cheeks all puffed out. You ain't doing no damage, girl."
She swatted his hands away when a crack of thunder boomed so loud outside that it made her cling to him with full-blown terror in her chest. It sounded like God dropped a liquid bomb over the house because a deluge of water poured down with the terrible rumblings of more thunder roaring around them. The lightning that streaked in the heavens made her press her face into Erik's chest, and the successive booms that cracked back-to-back-to-back made Erik slam the front door shut. She trembled in the middle of his house, and the fear in her eyes softened his. He circled his arms around her.
"It's alright… first summer storm. A heavy one."
The booming continued and rattled the windows and loose doors in his house. He pulled her onto the couch and Kris hid her face against his neck taking in the rich scent of his skin. She recognized the odor on him. More evidence of Nedi Charles's handiwork. Dionne was really afraid of her if she was calling upon all the elements to block Kris and keep Erik close.
"Fuck, that was big," Erik said as another thunderous clap above them shook his windows once more.
She rested her hands on the planes of his chest, the cottony softness of his shirt making her rub small circles there. He didn't seem to notice as watched the lightning outside his living room window. The downpour of rain eventually made staring out of the window impossible with all the condensation.
"Guess you're stuck here for a minute," he whispered.
He sat back on the couch and allowed her to rest her head on him. His heartbeat soothed her even as her body jumped each time the thunder beat up the sky. She rested quietly against his body with an occasional tense jump each time the world shook outside. Erik dropped an arm on her back and rubbed her tense muscles until she relaxed enough to breathe easier. Soon, all they heard was the constant sound of rainwater as it splashed down from the roof and the dark clouds hovering above.
"Didn't know you were so scared of thunderstorms," he said looking down at her.
Erik's gentle brown eyes were made for her at that moment. He seemed so open.
Kris shifted her position so that her face was closer to his. He willingly brought his closer until their noses almost touched. She could see the mistake she made up close and personal. Her eyes fell on the charm dangling from the chain on his neck. It was supposed to ward her away, but here she was, snuggled up close to him.
Burying her face into his chest again, Kris stayed still and stayed quiet until she fell asleep. An hour later she woke up feeling refreshed sprawled out with her head resting on a pillow he had resting on his lap. It was still overcast outside, but the rain had tricked down to a gentle sprinkling.
"Welcome back sleepyhead," he teased.
She smirked. He rubbed her shoulder and she reached for his hand and held it. The warmth of it enveloped her with warmer feelings. She kissed the skin between his thumb and index finger. Erik said nothing, just watched her lips make a track of kisses up to his wrist. Her eyes took in the space right above his head and she could see a loving aura surrounding him there. It flickered and she knew he was torn with her being there alone with him.
"Kris, I can't… I love her."
She burst into tears then.
"Kris…"
Her wailing made his eyes water and he stroked her cheek.
"I'm sorry," she choked out.
"I am too. It just wasn't meant to be."
She fell against him, bawling with ragged breaths and shaking fingers gripping onto his shirt.
"I just wanted you to wait for me… I just wanted so much… I'm sorry I was so afraid…"
"Oh, my God," he sighed.
He pulled her in tight.
"I don't want you to be with her. She has you for the wrong reasons!"
"She loves me too, Kris. I let you go so you could get what you wanted on your own time. You gotta let me go so I can have what I want."
"You never gave me a chance to tell you I loved you."
He sighed.
"I gave you seven months."
"I'm slow."
He chuckled, and she tried to smile for him, but it hurt so much to smile when she could barely breathe.
"You ain't slow, girl. You just weren't ready."
"I was. I am. I love you."
He rested his forehead against her cheek.
"Did you hear me? I love you."
"I heard you. It's just… too late."
"Don't say that. You were willing to wait before I slept with Jordan. You're just getting back at me—"
"I don't need to get back at you. I've moved on and there's nothing wrong with that. It sucks, but damn, Kris… you can' try to throw up love all of a sudden like I'm supposed to jump for you."
"It's not all of a sudden. I had to make sure, and I never got the chance to tell you how I feel. I was scared—"
"But I was there for you, and you should've told me all of that. I don't know what else I could've done to prove myself to you more than I did."
He was partially right, but the flame of anger lit inside of her. Her heart told her he was under the influence of forces that he denied were real. It was easy to be dazzled by a woman like Dionne. She was rich, smart as a whip, and easy on the eyes. But if she had to use hoodoo to snag a man like Erik, then there was something deep in her that wasn't right.
Kris wiped her eyes. She was glad she left her glasses in her car because they would've been fogged up and wet from all of her bawling. She wasn't about to cry over this man again. He said what he needed to say and so did she. A darker part of her core wanted to go home and conjure up some bullshit to throw on him, but that would make that other woman the true winner in his eyes. It was best to let him fuck around and find out what Dionne had planned for him.
She gathered up the remaining self-respect she had and tried to keep her leaving classy. Picking up her purse, she eyed him one last time and the burning rage moved throughout her body like a wild forest fire. Walking out of his front door she lost every bit of decorum that hung by a precarious thread.
"Fuck you and her then, nigga," she tossed at him in triumph before promptly slipping on the rain-slicked porch and falling into fresh thick mud that surrounded his property.