Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storylines :)
This chapter isn't really Brucas heavy like I would like it to be (still my favorite couple) but the two moments they have I hope you enjoy.
"Carolina—oh, my god," Haley said, crying frantically, as she bounced up out of her bed. "Carolina".
Haley could feel her heart pounding in her chest as if it was going to implode—for a minute she was sure this was equivalent to a heart attack. She ran her fingers through her hair, and rushed through the house, finding each room more empty than the last.
The mother was sobbing, in search of her daughter, until she reached the bottom of the stairs, to find Lydia laying on the floor, playing with her baby sister—and Nathan sitting on the couch, smiling watching the girls.
"Oh, my god," Haley said, throwing her hand over her chest. "Thank God," she said, rushing to her newborn's side.
"No, mama," Lydia said, looking at her mother before she was able to scoop the baby up. "I never get to play with her".
"Well, she's a baby—she can't play just yet" Haley answered her daughter without hesitation. "She needs supervision at all times".
"And she has it," Nathan said. "I haven't left her side the whole time".
"She shouldn't be on the floor, Nathan," Haley said.
"She isn't," Nathan said. "She is on a play-mat".
"So, there is nothing but a mat between her and the floor," Haley said, her voice rising, slightly. "She is still on the floor".
"Maybe, but we did the same thing with Jamie and Lydia when they were babies," Nathan said. "What did the doctors call it—? Tummy time, or something. The doctor said it's important for her development, it strengths her neck and back, and—".
"I know what tummy time is, Nathan" Haley snapped standing directly up to look at him. "But, she has to be supervised".
"What does it look like I'm doing"? Nathan asked. "I haven't left her for a second, she is laying on the floor playing with her sister, whom you haven't allowed to be around the baby since we brought her home—".
"Is everything okay"?
The two turned to see Jamie standing in the doorway, shutting the front door behind him.
"No," Lydia said. "Mom and dad are fighting".
"We aren't fighting," Haley said.
Nathan scoffed. "What do you call it"? He asked. "She is sitting right there, you can't exactly lie when she is witnessing it first hand"?
"It's not a lie, it's a discussion," Haley said. "You know I'm done with this 'discussion', I'm going to take the baby and go upstairs".
"Mama" Lydia groaned.
"Haley, let her spend time with the baby," Nathan said.
"She is my baby, I'll do what I want with her" Haley snapped.
"She isn't just your baby, she is mine, too—she is my daughter, too," Nathan said. "She is Lydia and Jamie's little sister, and neither of them has got to spend more than two minutes with her".
"That's not true," Haley said. "Lydia sees her all the time, and Jamie is never here, he has his own house, and he goes to work, and school, and basketball practice—".
"And still manages to stop by every single day" Nathan interrupted her. "Jamie stops by every single day".
"What"? Haley asked, not fully believing her husband. "No, he doesn't".
Nathan nodded. "You just don't notice anything, anymore".
Haley scoffed before looking at Jamie, who still stood in the doorway. "That's not true—"?
Jamie swallowed before he nodded. "I stop in at least once a day—to see Lydia and dad, I don't ever see you anymore".
"Hales, you never come downstairs anymore, you never let anyone around her" Nathan said.
"I'm protecting her".
"From what? Growing up with two siblings and a dad who adores her"? Nathan asked.
"From—everything," Haley said. "She is a newborn, you have to be careful with a newborn".
"Haley, you weren't like this with either one of our other kids—Jamie was two weeks old and you left him with my mom who was fresh on the wagon—and Jamie watched Lydia at only ten years old, at one point he was tugging her around with a dog collar, and you considered that funny and cute," Nathan said.
"That—was different," Haley said. "I can't—I can't do this anymore, we're going upstairs".
This time Nathan and Lydia didn't say anything as Haley scooped her baby daughter up and made her way back up the stairs.
"I'm going to go watch tv," Lydia said, as she stood up, dropping her head as she headed towards her room.
"Things haven't got any better then". Jamie said.
It wasn't a question, it was a fact, but Nathan still shook his head and said "no".
Jamie watched as his father stood up and made his way towards the kitchen, and he followed him.
"Beer"? Nathan asked.
"Sure".
Nathan scoffed. "When did you get old enough for me to offer you a beer"? He asked.
"Technically I'm not—but I won't say anything if you don't".
Nathan chuckled before handing his son a beer and opening one himself. "What are you doing here"? He asked.
"Between you and mom, this place is just full of warm welcome's," he said. "Didn't you just give mom a lecture on me stopping by all the time"?
Nathan rolled his eyes. "You've already been here, twice today—and it's Saturday night, I assumed you would have plans or something".
Jamie nodded. "I do," he said pressing his lips together. "I think I left all my good clothes here when I left".
"Good clothes"?
"Like—date clothes".
Nathan looked down at Jamie who twirling the cap that had come off the beer bottle. "Date"? He asked. "You have a date"?
Jamie took a sip out of his beer, and he nodded. "With—Sasha," he said. "And before you say anything I know I'm not divorced but how am I supposed to get divorced when I don't even know where my wife is—"?
"That's not what I was going to say—at all" Nathan said.
"Oh—I had a speech all ready and prepared and everything".
"Well, shucks, I hate to have missed that," Nathan said, chuckling. "But, I know what it's like for your wife to just take off, but the difference between me and you is my wife was gone for a few months, yours has been—".
"A lot longer".
"I want you to be happy, Jamie".
Jamie nodded. "I am—I just never thought I'd be a senior in high school and already have a failed marriage".
Nathan nodded. "Well, life doesn't give us any more than we can handle".
"Thanks, dad," he said, standing up from the bar. "But, I'm going to go look in my old room—before you start quoting anymore fortune cookies".
"We have dinner reservations at six-thirty".
Lucas looked up from his laptop to find Brooke standing in the doorway—in nothing but a bathrobe, her hair so wet it was dripping bits of water onto her shoulder.
"We—had plans"? Lucas asked arching an eyebrow.
"Are you kidding"? Brooke asked, her voice instantly begin to raise. "We have to make plans six weeks in advanced just so I can have a sitter for the boys, they went to Peyton's house with Sawyer, and I made a new dress, didn't buy—I made, I had my hair done, and I—you are kidding".
Lucas sat over behind his desk, laughing. "I just wanted to know what I was in for if I ever did forget we had a date," he said. "I'm going with 'not well".
Brooke rolled her eyes. "I found no humor in that, whatsoever," she said before walking over, standing behind him. "What are you writing"?
Lucas closed his laptop, and turned around, pulling her down into his lap. "You'll find out soon enough".
Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh"?
"I have a feeling you're going to like it," he said.
"So, when will it be done"? Brooke asked. "I like things that I—like," she said, looking down before shaking her head after the stupidity fell out of her mouth.
Lucas chuckled. "It already is," he said. "That was an email to my editor".
"You're not even going to tell me what it is or what it's about"? Brooke asked.
Lucas shook his head. "You said you didn't like spoilers," he said. "In fact, you yelled it and forbid me to ever give anything away ever again, you held the future of my testicles over me ever repeating that mistake".
"You finished an entire season of Sons of Anarchy without me," Brooke said. "It was justified".
Lucas laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Well, just the same—you'll get to see what it is soon enough".
"Is it about me"? Brooke asked. "Because, if you wrote a book about me, that would be the next best thing—I would feel like Kendall Jenner when the little guy in the boy band wrote that song about her".
"No details," Lucas said. "I'm just obeying your rules, you can't fight with your own rules".
Brooke pouted, she hated when he had a point—a valid point at that.
The two stood up, and Lucas looked at the time on his phone. "If we are going to make those reservations I need to take a shower".
"You have plenty of time," Brooke said, following him out of his office and down the hall.
"You're right, I do, I'm not you, I don't take two hours in the bathroom" Lucas said, as they walked into their bedroom.
"Hurtful" Brooke said, scoffing, folding her arms as Lucas walked into their overly large closet—part of the reason that she had insisted on this particular house over the twenty others they had looked at. "I don't take that long".
"I had to buy the same size water heater as a hotel" Lucas said from within the closet.
"You're being dramatic".
"I have the receipts, and credit card statements," Lucas said. "Would you like to see them"?
Brooke walked into the closet. "That won't be necessary," she said, rolling her eyes. "But, I still didn't take that long in the shower".
"Okay, pretty girl, how long did you take"? Lucas asked, walking over to Brooke.
The brunette bit down on her lip and shrugged. "Like an hour and a half".
"Oh, my mistake" Lucas said, laughing.
Brooke walked over to Lucas' side of the closet—or better known as a small corner. She began shuffling through the items before pulling a black suit out and handing it to him.
"You know—as a man in his late thirties, I am actually fully capable of picking out my own outfit," Lucas said.
"You know as a, thirty-seven-year-old man, you still need assistance," Brooke said, smiling. "And we only get date night every so often, I can't have you clashing with my outfit, especially when I handmade it, with my own hands".
Lucas looked up at her, a smirk on his face. "That's kind of what handmade means," he said, tilting his head. "Have you been drinking today"?
"No, it's not even five, what do you take me for"?
"Brooke".
"I had a few with Peyton when I dropped the kids off".
"Sounds more accurate," Lucas said.
"Speaking of—has Peyton—said anything"?
Brooke sighed and shook her head. "Not a peep, it's been over a week since she made me sign those papers, but if there is something to tell, she isn't gonna give it up".
Lucas nodded. "You know, you could just ask her".
"I know I could, and I want, too," Brooke said. "Because, if something is wrong I need to be there for her, but I don't even know how to approach that conversation—I mean, what would I even say? And then if something isn't wrong I look like I jumped to the worst conclusions".
Lucas watched as Brooke sat down on the bench they had place in the center of the closet and sat down next to her.
"You know who would be good at this whole situation"? Brooke asked, running her fingers through her hair. "Haley" she answered before he had a chance to, though Lucas was thinking the same thing. "Haley is the problem solver, she is the one who you go to when you need advice or a shoulder to cry on or—a limit of how many glasses of wine to drink at a late lunch because you have a date with your boyfriend".
Lucas half chucked, but he dropped his head for a second. "I miss her, too".
"How is it possible to miss someone who isn't even gone"? Brooke asked. "She lives fifteen minutes from us, and I feel like I haven't seen my friend in a year".
"I know".
"She is like a Haley shell, empty—emotionless until it comes to her baby," Brooke said. "I know that she is having a hard time and I want to be there for her, but she won't let me, anyone. I mean she will let us come over and clean or cook, but that's where the line is drawn. She isn't grieving, she isn't moving forward, she is living in constant fear because of what happened, and I can't be there for her, or help her, and I need my friend—but more than that, I know she needs me more".
Lucas looked at Brooke, who had shed a few tears as she spoke, and as badly as he wanted to fix everything, he knew he couldn't.
"I wish I knew what to do—she would," Brooke said, crying. "After Julian died, I got in a—funk, I never got out of the bed, I laid there, all day, every day—crying. One day, not long before I left with you and Peyton, she came over, pulled the blankets off me, and said 'Brooke Davis Baker, you get your ass out of this bed, go outside—be with the world, don't let yourself disappear into the darkness".
"What did you do"?
Brooke rested her head on his shoulder. "My friend brought me out into the light".
"I swear if I hear one more thing I'm going to take that toy and throw it outside," Peyton said, as she stormed through her house, making her way towards the door, jerking it open. "Jamie—Lydia"?
Jamie, whose eyebrows nearly sat up in his hair, and a slight smile on his face—indicating he had heard her small outburst. "Fun night"?
Peyton sighed, leaning against the door. "If that's what you want to call it," she said, smiling.
"Dad said he tried to call, but there was no answer," Jamie said.
Peyton's eyes closed tightly at the sound of shattering glass in the background.
"She did it".
"He did it".
The three heard in unison, and Jamie's smile grew slightly wider. "Even if I knew where it was, how would I hear it"? Peyton asked.
"Well, I hate to ask but—would you care if Lydia stayed for a little while—just until I get back, and then she can stay the night with me".
Peyton looked down, and even despite her stress, nodded. "Sure," she said. "The kids are in Sawyer's room—although they are about to find themselves on eBay, so you better go find them before I make a profit".
"I don't need a sitter," Lydia said, crossing her arms.
"You think I'm going to trust you at my house all alone"? Jamie asked. "I left you unsupervised once, long enough to take a shower and you spent three hundred dollars on Amazon, and ordered fifteen movies to stream".
"And I could finish at least three before you uncork her and pork her—ow".
Peyton looked up at Jamie after he had flicked his sister in the back of her head—gently, she assumed the pre-teen was just dramatic.
"What was that for"? Lydia asked, turning around to face him, crossing her arms.
"Go, play".
"I could say the same to you, but I think we have different meanings to the word play—player".
Jamie watched as his sister stormed away. "I'm not a player" he yelled after her.
"No, just a whore" Lydia said, as she turned the corner.
Peyton looked back at Jamie, with an eyebrow arched.
"I'm not—either of those things, she's just—upset," Jamie said. "She found out I'm getting divorced and going on a date, so she's pissed".
Peyton's eyes grew wide. "You—you have a date"?
"Please, don't make me feel bad about this".
"Oh, I won't—Brooke will".
"Don't remind me".
Peyton walked through her living room, followed by Jamie, as he shut the door behind him. "I think it's great—you're young, you should be dating".
Jamie nodded. "Thanks".
"I mean, if you're wife was here, and she wanted to be with you—but she isn't. You can't wait around forever, you deserve some form of happiness, too—we all do".
"Like you and Jake"?
Peyton looked over at the large photograph hanging on her wall of her and Jake, from their wedding day, and she smiled. "If you're lucky enough".
Jamie smiled as he watched Peyton begin to pick up the glass from the lamp that had been knocked over, before standing up—and watched as the materials in her hand once again fell to the floor, shattering even more, and her body began to slowly sway.
"Peyton," Jamie said, rushing to her side, catching her before she tumbled over. He looked down, and he saw her complexion turn to a pale white, before scooping her up and carrying her to the couch, and laying her down.
"I'm okay," Peyton said, as she slowly came to just moments later. "Just light-headed".
Jamie glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one overheard him and looked back at her. "We both know that's not true".
"Jamie—".
"I won't say anything, I promised you that I wouldn't and I won't, but you need to".
Peyton sighed, as she attempted to hold her head up with her hand. "I will, I promise, but I have to tell Jake first, and he won't be home for another few weeks—no one can find out before him".
"I did".
"That was an accident" Peyton pointed out. "I got the news and you was the only one around".
Jamie looked at Peyton, she looked weak—tired. "I'll take the kids with me".
Peyton shook her head. "You have a date".
"A date that can be rescheduled, but you need your rest," Jamie said.
"I want to spend time with Sawyer".
Jamie pressed his lips together. "You aren't going to be able to get to spend time with her if you're passing out—so, get some rest and I'll drop her off in the morning".
Peyton didn't want to let her daughter go, she wanted to hold her a little closer, but as bad as she hates to admit it—he was right. "Okay".
"Who wants to have a sleepover at my house"? Jamie yelled from the living room.
No surprise—they all came running, and he knew he was going to hate this night.
"Do you really think this is a good idea"?
Keith looked at Deb, as the two stood in the kitchen drinking coffee. He shrugged. "I don't know what is a good idea anymore—I live with my dead brother's ex-wife, that should be proof enough I don't make good choices".
"Blame it on the coma"?
Keith scoffed. "At some point, that excuse is going to run out".
"Then you blame it on Dan, that one never gets old," Deb said, sitting the cup down. "If you don't like what she is doing—you should talk to her".
"It's her life".
"But, it's not just Lily's life, and you're her father if you don't like something you should voice your opinion".
Keith sighed. "And risk upsetting her"? Keith asked. "How could I do that? We have never had an argument or a fight—".
"I know, she told you she was pregnant and you said congratulations—she said she wasn't sure who the dad was, and you said life was like a box of chocolates—".
"I make one Forrest Gump reference and I'll never live it down".
Deb looked at Keith and sighed. "I know you don't want to upset her, but—going behind her back is no different, this will upset her even more".
"But, it's the right thing to do".
"I agree," Deb said. "So, why don't you tell your daughter what you think the right thing to do is"?
Keith sighed, before looking at his watch. "She should be here in thirty minutes—I'll go get him".
Deb pressed her hand against Keith's shoulder. "No, I'll go get him—but would you please, just think about talking to her"?
Keith nodded before Deb walked out of the kitchen, and made her way up the stairs, and into the nursery—where KJ sat in his father's arms as he read him a story.
"Lily will be here in thirty minutes or so," Deb said, regretfully, as she rested her head against the door frame.
Chuck looked up, before swallowing hard, and looked down at his son, and he nodded. "Okay," he said, a small crack seeping through his voice. "KJ, daddy has to go, okay"?
Deb held her hand slightly over her face, covering the small tear that slipped down her face, before slipping that hand through her hair, as if adjusting her locks was all she had to do—as Chuck stood up.
"You want to go to nanny Deb"? Chuck asked, his voice weaker with each word.
Chuck went to hand the baby off, but the small infant clung to his father, tears falling down his eyes, a cry escaping from his lips. "I know, buddy—I miss you, too—so much".
After a minute the child gave up his small fight before he watched his father disappear down the staircase, where Keith was waiting.
"It'll get easier—with time," Keith said, as the father to his grandson came to the end of the stairs.
"Will it"? Chuck asked. "For who—? Not for me, not for him—eventually, he might forget who I am, but one day he will realize that Andre isn't his father, I am. But, when he asks his mom she will make me the villain in his story when I'm not—and then he will spend the rest of his life believing a lie, so tell me Keith, who is this going to get better for"?
Keith sighed. "Anytime you want to see him, you're more than welcome to come over—".
"And I appreciate that—believe me, I do, if you hadn't done this these past eight months, my son wouldn't know me at all" Chuck said. "But, I deserve more than a few hours two or three times a week with him, and damn it so does he".
"I know," Keith said.
"I have never asked you for any favors—I haven't, I figured I knocked your daughter up I'm probably in no position to ask you for anything," Chuck said. "But, I'm begging you—you're the only one who can help me be part of my son's life, please—you missed sixteen years of your daughter's life, don't curse me to the same fate".
Keith watched as Chuck slipped out the door, as he leaned against the wall before he saw Deb walking down the stairs with KJ in her hands.
"He is right you know"? Deb asked. "At the beginning of Lily's pregnancy, it made sense—she didn't know if it was him or Andre, and he partied too much and didn't have a job—but he has a job, he gives you every dime he makes to make sure it goes to KJ, he doesn't party, he goes to school—all he wants is to be part of his son's life".
"What am I supposed to do"? Keith asked. "This is Lily's life, this is Lily's decision".
"It is her decision, but it isn't her life, this is his life, his father" Deb said, gesturing at the small baby. "When she realized she used those condoms that had been tampered with, with Andre, and not Chuck—she assumed that Andre was the father, she chose the father she wanted because it logically made sense, but his biology says something different. He is made of two people, and it's not Andre and Lily, he might make a good stepfather, a wonderful stepfather at that, but he is not his father, this little boy needs his father".
"You don't think I know that"?
"It's cute when Lily tags Andre in little things on social media about stepfathers who step up when dads step down, but this boy has a father who would hang the moon for him—and she isn't letting him, because he isn't what she wanted in the end," Deb said. "But, just because she stopped caring about him doesn't mean KJ should or will ever, you need to fix this".
"I'm not God".
"No, you're her father, her father who raised another mama child, but lost the opportunity to raise your own—you're the only person who can get through to her".
"Lydia is staying the night with Jamie".
Haley, who had just walked into the kitchen, turned to find Nathan sitting at the counter—eating out of a pizza box.
"Oh—he didn't have plans"? Haley asked, as she opened the refrigerator. "It's the weekend".
Nathan nodded. "He did—he canceled them just so she could get out of here for a night".
Haley chucked. "I remember wanting out of my house when I was her age, I would get so bored—".
"Haley, I don't think it has anything to do with whatever scene from the Brady brunch you have playing in your head," Nathan said, leaning forward.
Haley turned to look at him, confused. "Did I do something? Are you mad at me for something"?
Nathan chuckled, not because it was funny, but because it was the only noise that seemed appropriate, and even it wasn't. "Mad? No. I can't be mad at you, you could set the house on fire and it would be unacceptable for me to even be slightly upset with you, in the least" he said, growing irritated as he spoke. "I can't be upset around you, I can't be happy around you—I can't be anything around you, hell, I can't even touch you—".
"I just had a baby," Haley said, looking at him.
"Touch you doesn't require sex, I would be fine with sitting on the couch watching tv, or holding your hand when we go grocery shopping, but we can't do neither of those things—we can't do something as simple as watching a stupid movie on tv together because you won't come downstairs half the time, and when you do it's in short intervals," Nathan said. "Until ten minutes ago when you walked downstairs, I was starting to think that the baby was an accessory".
"Newborn's require constant care—".
"Please, don't talk to me like I haven't been through this two other times—just like you," Nathan said. "I just want my wife back".
"I'm right here".
Nathan looked at her, and took a sip out of his beer, shaking his head. "No, you're not—physically, yeah, you're standing right in front of me, but I don't know where you really are," he said, walking over towards her. "I hardly recognize the woman I'm standing in the kitchen with, you haven't been the same in a long time—".
"Nathan, can we not do this right now," Haley said before she began to walk away.
"Then when are we supposed to do it"? Nathan asked, causing her to come to a stop. "You just tell me when, tell me when you're gonna be ready to talk, and I'll be standing here waiting for that moment, but you haven't wanted to talk since—".
"The twins"? Haley asked. "I haven't wanted to talk since I lost the twins? I'm entitled to a little grieving, I'm entitled to a little pain—I buried my babies, I came home—childless, I lost my babies—".
"So did I" Nathan screamed, causing him and Haley both to jump. He stood up straight, running his hand over his face, composing himself. "So did I," he said, calmer, quieter. "You carried them, but they were my children, too—I stood by you and I buried my children, too—you aren't the only one here who has lost not one but two children. But, that doesn't matter, does it"?
Haley looked at Nathan, but she didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say, because she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to have this discussion.
"I have been a good husband, I have been there as much as I can be, I have held your hand while you cried, while you hurt—but no one has been there for me," Nathan said. "I know you're hurting, I am, too—I guess I'm a little hypocritical because I tell you that you need to grieve, but I haven't even myself".
Haley watched as her husband stormed off, and as she stood there, she broke, inside and out. She could feel her heart shatter, as the tears came to the surface, and the sobs fell uncontrollably out of her mouth before she picked up the beer Nathan had been drinking and slung it across the room watching as it shattered in the floor—as she did the very same.
"I come bearing pizza and beer".
Lily looked up to see Madison walking in through the front door to her apartment, with a large square box in one hand, and packing an even larger case of beer in the other hand.
"A pack of diapers would have been fine," Lily said, chuckling.
"I got that, too—and some toys," Madison said revealing the bag tucked between her arm and body as she walked through the apartment, sitting everything down on the kitchen table.
"I think you have got him enough toys," Andre said. "And clothes, and—".
"He has to know who his favorite auntie is," Madison said interrupting him.
Lily looked at her friend before scoffing. "Did you go to Jamie's today"?
"I got half and half, so we have options," Madison said. "And I know there is a baby here so we can't all drink—so I won't, I'll take one for the team".
"You didn't tell him, did you"? Lily asked.
"I forgot, where do we keep the plates"? Madison asked as she walked away.
"It's called a cabinet, you chicken," Lily said, as she sat back in her chair. "Maddie, you have been back over a week and you still haven't told him".
Madison held the plates tightly in her hand as she walked across the kitchen, sitting them at the table with the other items, this time she knew there was no way to avoid the topic. "I know, and I will".
Andre sighed. "You have been going to tell him since you got here, we can't keep making excuses for you—and we shouldn't have, too," he said. "I am running out of excuses why Jamie can't come over and hang out, he hasn't seen KJ in a week, and it's really showing".
"I know," Madison said as she sat down, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to put you all out—".
"Maddie, it's not that, and it's not that we care, but if we are going to be lying to Jamie and hiding things—".
"I.E a whole ass wife" Lily cut in.
"Then you have to put forth some sort of effort, too," Andre said. "Like telling him you're here".
"I'm trying," Madison said, as she opened a beer. "I swear, I have got to his house—a thousand times but I either drive away or I get so nauseous I can't walk, and I run—this is a man who deserves an explanation, better than what I have, a man I promised to be with for the rest of my life, and then just left, so—I get scared and nervous, and I end up running".
"As I said, chicken" Lily said.
Andre rolled his eyes. "But, you can't keep doing this, you have to go to school".
"Technically I'm still on homeschool," Madison said.
"Okay, well you can't keep hiding—you can't spend all day inside and then go out at night—".
"Unless you're a vampire," Lily said. "Which would be so cool—are you"?
"I'm going to have to start monitoring your television habits," Andre told Lily.
"That's a dark hole you don't want to enter" Madison warned him.
"Jamie is still your husband, it might not be easy—for either of you, but you have to do it at some point, and the longer you wait the harder it's going to be," Andre said. "It's like ripping off a bandaid".
"Or tearing out stitches," Lily said.
"Ignore her," Andre said. "You can't wait any longer".
"Is this like a now or never kind of thing"? Madison asked. "Like if I don't go this second you'll kick me out"?
"We would never kick you out," Andre said.
"Unless you eat the last piece of pizza, then maybe," Lily said.
"I'll tell him in the morning, I promise," Madison said. "Or maybe I should wait for the weekend to be over, I don't want to ruin his weekend, but then I could ruin his week—".
"I don't think the time matters, it's going to be an adjustment," Andre said.
"It's actually time to lay KJ down, so—" Lily began before Andre scooped him out of his high chair.
"You ready to go night-night," Andre said, as he began walking off with the baby, smiling.
Lily smiled as she watched the two disappear around the corner. "He is so good with him".
Madison nodded. "I always knew Andre would be a good father," she said. "I always thought he and Jamie would have babies together, and be those cool dads at the playground, like in that Cameron Diaz movie, What to expect when you're expecting"?
"Welcome, to escrow Bitch" Lily quoted the movie with a smile, before taking her best friend's hand. "Okay, Andre gave you some—good advice. But, I'm going to take my shot here—sit here, eat your pizza, and drink at least twelve of these" she said patting the pack of beer. "Then call an Uber, and go to Jamie's".
"Drunk"?
"We have the most courage when we are drunk, I have solved a lot of problems drunk".
"I feel like you created more because of your drinking," Madison said, handing her a picture of KJ.
"But, he is the cutest little problem you've ever seen".
Madison looked at the picture and smiled. "He is".
Lily stood up, gathering the baby's blanket, bottle, and lovey. "I'm telling you, ease your nerves and head over there—and wear something sexy, just in case".
"How can you say that looking like Lynette from desperate housewives"?
Lily looked at herself in the mirror and scoffed, as she jerked the burp cloth off her shoulder. "If you do have sex, be safe," she said.
"I wouldn't be putting that on my to-do list," Madison said. "The sight of me will probably repulse him".
"I wouldn't count on that".
"I never meant—I never meant to make you feel like you couldn't grieve".
Nathan, who stood beneath the goal in his driveway, holding a basketball turned to see his wife standing in the corner. He sighed. "That's not what I said".
Haley nodded. "No, but it was what I was sensing," she said. "And I never wanted you to feel that way—I never want you to feel like you can't open up to me or talk to me".
Nathan looked down at his feet, and then up at Haley. "You know, I could say the same thing".
Haley bit down on her lip, as her husband walked a few feet closer to her. She fought the tears dwelling in her eyes, and she lost the battle as they slid down her face. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you—it's that I can't," she said, her voice cracking as she spoke. "If I don't talk about it, it doesn't hurt".
"Do you really believe it that, Hales"? Nathan asked. "Because I don't, I think you want to believe that, but I know you don't".
Haley could feel her bottom lip start to quiver, as her husband became closer.
"Ignoring it, ignoring the pain doesn't make it go away," Nathan said.
"When—my mom died, I thought—I would never recover from it, but I did—slowly, I accepted it, and eventually I was able to grieve and move on," Haley said. "But, this—it never ended, the pain never ended, the heartbreak, it won't stop. I get up every day like a piece of me is missing—".
"Because two pieces of you are missing," Nathan said. "I know, because I feel it, too—when I hear Carolina cry, it breaks my heart because I know I should hear two cries—when she rolls over for the first time, starts to crawl and walk and talk, I know that every milestone we should be celebrating not once but twice, we should be swimming in twice the diapers, twice the bottles—clothes—less sleep than we already get".
Haley wasn't aware how much she was crying or had cried until she blinked and realized she could only see the shape of her husband. When she ran her hands across her face, wiping away as much of the tears as she could, she saw Nathan had been crying, just as much as she was.
"How—how do you do this, every day"? She asked. "How do you get through this—every day"?
Nathan sniffled, and he shrugged. "There is no magic potion, but after Carolina was born, I was sitting there—listening to her cry, and I had that same thought. I should hear two cries—but then it occurred to me, no—we should hear three. But, it wouldn't be possible for all three of our babies to exist at the same time—I mean, we could have had three more after Lydia, but not the three we had".
Haley felt her husband wrap his arms around her waist, and she rested her head against his chest, tears flowing down her cheeks.
"So, every time she cries, I know for the past six or seven months we should have been listening to two cries—but not her cry," Nathan said. "I know we didn't plan to have another, but we had one anyway, and every day I'm just thankful she is a healthy baby".
Haley sobbed. "I wish I were that strong".
"I'm not strong, I'm barely holding it together," Nathan told her honestly. "Every day I feel like I'm dying inside, because I lost my sons, and then I get up, and I see her—but I don't get to hold her often, or feed her, or do all the things you do or that I did with Jamie or Lydia, because you won't let me. You won't let anyone".
Haley took a step back and looked up at Nathan, and her face dropped.
"What is the one thing holding you together, Haley"?
"The baby" Haley answered him honestly.
"Me, too—she is all that is holding me together, but it's like she is the expensive wedding China that I can look at every day, but not go around," Nathan said. "She is my daughter, too—she is Lydia and Jamie's sister—why can't we be part of her lives".
"I'm not trying to keep you, or anyone away from her" Haley said, genuinely.
"It sure feels that way, Hales".
"I'm not—I swear, I'm just scared".
"Scared of what"? Nathan asked. "Your family"?
Haley shook her head. "I'm scared—of everything," she said. "I didn't even flinch when I got pregnant with the twins, I went on about my daily life as if nothing—as if I was I was invincible," she told him, tears soaking her cheeks. "I had a small pregnancy issue early on with Jamie, but other than that the only other problem was me getting hit by a car—I had two previous healthy pregnancies, so when I got pregnant for the third time I never even thought something could happen—I just went on as if the sky could never fall".
"Haley, you couldn't have known".
"Maybe not, but I could have taken precautions or—".
"Hales, this was not your fault".
"I was their mother, I'm supposed to keep my children safe, and protect them, the one thing I'm supposed to do, I couldn't do," Haley said, sobbing. "And it petrifies me that anything could ever happen to the baby, I can't let anything happen to her".
"I hate to break it to you baby, you aren't going to be able to protect her from everything," Nathan said. "She is going to fall and scrape her knee, might even get a broken bone—you can't protect her from the world, if that was the case Jamie would have never been stuck in a car under a bridge during a storm, he never would have been kidnapped by a mentally unstable nanny—".
"These are your examples to make me feel better"?
Nathan chuckled, a little. "Okay, what about when Jamie broke his arm when he was thirteen? Or Lydia got hospitalized because she swallowed your wedding rings? We can't protect our kids from everything, but depriving Carolina of moments with her father or her siblings, or anyone else isn't protecting her, Hales, it's hurting her—in the long run".
Haley nodded. "I know—but I can't just stop feeling the way I'm feeling, and it's like every time she is out of my sight—I feel this constant fear".
"Fear of what"?
"Everything, I'm scared that something, anything is going to happen and I'm not going to be there to save her or protect her," Haley said.
"Hales, you can't let what happened to the twins haunt the way you raise their little sister," Nathan said. "If you need me to say it every day, every hour, every minute—I will, it was not your fault".
Haley fell into her husband's arms once again, and she sobbed, she cried, she bawled—she fell apart, but it was okay because he was there.
And she was there when he fell apart because it was the very thing they both needed.
"So, how do I—do this"? Haley asked, without taking her head from his chest. "How do we do this"?
Nathan sighed. "One step at a time, one foot in front of the other—together, like we have done everything since high school".
"I just, I don't know if I can".
Nathan cupped his wife's cheek and brought her face closer to his, and half-smiled. "You already are—you're outside, talking to me—and she is upstairs, asleep".
"It's not a very big step forward".
Nathan shrugged. "It's a step".
"What's funny"?
Lucas looked up, and across the table, Brooke was looking at him, her head tilted as she held a tall glass filled with wine inside, and until she said something, he hadn't even noticed that he was smiling, lightly laughing for that matter.
"I was just—thinking," Lucas said.
"About"? Brooke asked as she took a bite out of the chocolate cake on her plate.
"How much time we lost, together," Lucas said. "How much time we spent apart, but somehow we were able to pick things up as if no time had passed, life's funny like that sometimes—well, not exactly as if no time had passed. We spent a decade and a half apart, we came back into this relationship as if no time had passed, but we each come with previous marriages and children from those marriages, we built careers, we lived our lives—so much had changed when we got back together, but we came back with the same love we left with".
Brooke smiled.
"I think it helped that we never lost contact, we stayed friends," Lucas said. "Around six months ago, Davis asked me if I regretted us breaking up in high school".
"What did you tell him"? Brooke asked.
Lucas sat back and cleared his throat before looking at his girlfriend. "I wanted to tell him, yes, I hate all this time we spent—apart, I hate that we married other people, and succeeded in life without each other".
"But, you didn't—did you"?
"I told him no, I didn't t regret it—I didn't regret everything that led up to you walking away," Lucas said. "I can play that moment over and over in my head, when we argued at Nathan and Haley's wedding, because no matter how much I I wanted to deny it, everything you said was true. I was pushing you away, I was young and immature, and I was pushing you away—I don't think I was ready for the kind of love that I felt for you, I needed time—I needed time to be able to love you the way I love you. I have always felt this way about you, this strongly, but as an eighteen-year-old kid, I wasn't ready—somewhere in my head, I was self-sabotaging everything about us".
"I think we both did, on one level or another" Brooke said.
"And—you know, if we had spent all that time apart, do you know what we wouldn't have"?
Brooke smiled. "Our kids".
"I think we would have had a few kids together but—".
"They wouldn't be Sawyer or Davis or Jude," Brooke said. "And we wouldn't have the family we have today".
Lucas chuckled. "That's what we are isn't it, a family"?
Brooke smiled. "I'd like to think so".
Lucas reached down and pulled up a small bag from beneath the table. "I had the waiter slip this under here before you got here," he said.
Brooke smiled, taking the bag. "A present"? She asked. "I love presents".
"Well, I hope you like this one" Lucas said. "Because it's non-refundable".
Brooke pulled the tissue out, a little too eagerly, before she pulled out a large—very thick, set of papers, carefully bound together.
"It's my manuscript," Lucas said, as he leaned forward.
Brooke looked down at the stack of papers in her hand and didn't realize she was crying until she saw a tear hit the top sheet. She looked up at Lucas. "This—"?
"Is about us" Lucas finished his thought. "Well, sort of, it's about two characters—Liam and Blair, but efficiently, it's our story. Our love story".
"You wrote—about us"? Brooke asked sniffling quietly as she looked back down.
"Yes," Lucas told her. "After Davis asked me that it got me thinking—how unconventional our story is, how chaotic and wonderful, and at times troublesome and toxic, but beautiful and remarkable it is. It's not some cut and dry story of a girl and a boy, it has layers, it has trials, and times where you think they will never find their way back to one another—but they do, in the end, they do get their happy ending".
Brooke smiled, as she ran her fingers down the book and carefully read the title out loud. "Pretty Girl, by Lucas Scott".
"Maddie"?!
Madison wasn't sure where she got the bravery to end up on Jamie's front porch—that's not true, she gathered up the courage after beer nine—or maybe it was ten, she couldn't remember exactly. Although, in few seconds after finally forcing herself to knock on the door, she found herself, stone-cold sober.
But, she felt a small sense of relief when she looked down to see it had been Lydia, her sister in law, had been the one to answer the door—and for a second she considered making a quick getaway—until Madison came up with two points as to why that wouldn't work.
1. Lydia never could keep a secret, she doubted that had changed.
2. She turned around to see her Uber driving away.
"Oh, my god, Maddie," Lydia said, wrapping her arms around her—though she was still taller, it wasn't by much.
"I can't believe how big you've got," Maddie said looking down at her.
"I just turned eleven," Lydia told her.
"I know, last time I saw you—you were—".
"Almost nine," Lydia said. "Where have you been? I thought I'd never see you again".
"It's kind of a long story".
"Lydia whose that at the door—"?
Maddie felt a large lump growing in her throat at the sound of a man's voice, his voice, and she knew it was his voice—it was deeper and more masculine than she remembered, but it was his voice. She couldn't deny it, and even if she wanted to, she watched as he appeared from around the corner.
Jamie froze at even the sight of her dark hair, there she was—standing with Lydia's arms draped around Maddie, his wife.
Madison wasn't sure if it was even him at first, but the second she saw his eyes she knew. Jamie barely looked the same. In the time they spent apart he had grown, he was taller, his hair was darker, and he was bigger—she was certain just by looking at him that he spent half of every day in the gym.
"Look it's-" Lydia began.
"I see," Jamie said before his sister had the chance to finish. "Lyd, why don't you go inside for a second"?
"But—".
"Now," Jamie said, without hesitation.
Lydia looked up at Madison. "You have to come over one night, and let me do your make-up—you're looking a bit peckish".
Madison chuckled. "It's a date," she said.
Lydia walked away, leaving the married couple alone—for the first time in a year and a half. Neither could find themselves able to speak for a few long minutes, as a thousand thoughts raced through each of their heads.
Madison looked at Jamie, who stood sixteen feet away from her as if it was a crime to be within breathing distance of her. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair, before taking a long, deep shaky breath.
"Hey, stranger".
Jamie looked up, at her—and he felt his insides crumble. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, a thousand things he wanted to ask her, but he couldn't.
Only one question seemed to rise to the surface and escapes from his lips.
"What—what are you doing here, Maddie"?
Madison looked up at him, as she bit down her fingernail, before she felt his hand over hers, lowering it—and she looked up at him, she wasn't even sure when he closed the distance between the two.
"I—erm—I—I missed you," Madison said, looking up at him, slowly. "I missed—I missed my husband".
Jamie glanced over his shoulder, at the kids who had taken over his house before the two stepped outside onto the porch—closing the door behind him as they did.
"I know you're mad, and you have every right to be mad—".
"I don't really care about your excuse," Jamie told her, his voice low. "You left, and you never came back, that's all I need".
Madison looked at Jamie who stood close to her, but he felt far away, his face was untouched—as if it was made of stone.
"I know you're upset, and I'm sorry—".
"Upset"? Jamie asked, for the first time his voice drenched in emotion, pain. "You think I am upset? No, I was never upset—what I felt, when you cut me out doesn't even have a name. You broke me, shattered me into pieces, Maddie. I was you husband—".
"You are my husband".
Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I'm your husband, I asked you to be my wife, to spend the rest of our lives together—I gave you a ring and I gave you my last name, and you left, and you never looked back".
"That's not true," Madison said. "You are all I thought about, for months".
Jamie looked at her. "Then why didn't you call? Why didn't you write? Where were you—".
The questions had begun falling out of his mouth, everyone one of them one after the other, all the hurt and all the pain, but he stopped—abruptly when he looked down at her.
Jamie looked into his wife's eyes, and he felt even more broken than he did before when he felt her hands lay against his chest.
Madison could feel Jamie's heart pounding beneath his hard chest, and she wasn't sure if it was her touch that made it beat faster, or how angry he was, how hurt—but he didn't move.
It took her days to gather up the courage to walk up to his door, so she wasn't sure where she found the courage, the strength to lean up on her tiptoes and kiss him—gently. She felt his bottom lip nestled between her two, and when she opened her eyes, it was as if the kiss pained him more than anything else.
Jamie brought his hands up and held her face in both of his palms, and he kissed her back.
He knew he shouldn't, he didn't want, too—how could he? But, an even more damning question, how could he not?
Jamie bent down and picked Madison up, before backing her up towards the side of the house, and he kissed her, he kissed her as he had never kissed anyone—because he hadn't.
Not like this.
Their kiss intensified, quickly—but at some point it ended, abruptly.
Jamie sat her back down on her feet, and turned away from her, running his hands down his face—in an attempt to compose himself, and not lose everything, right here.
"You need to go, Maddie," Jamie said, without looking at her, because he knew if he looked at her, he wouldn't be able to tell her to leave. "You have to—you need to go".
Madison stood with her back still against the side of the house—flushed, and breathing heavily from their kiss. "Why? Why can't we talk"? She asked. "I know you're mad at me, but if we could just talk—".
"We can't just talk," Jamie told her.
"Jamie, you're my husband," Madison said, pleading with him. "And I'm your wife—I know what I did was wrong, but—".
"You left me," Jamie said, turning around, tears drowning his face.
"I left, but I never left you," Madison said, reaching up and cupping the side of his face. "I never stopped loving you, and if you don't love me anymore, I'll go, but if you do—give me one good reason that we can't, at the very least talk".
Madison looked at Jamie, more confused than ever as he looked more damaged, more hurt, the tears in his eyes soaking the skin in his face.
"I thought you left me," Jamie said, his voice breaking with each word.
"But, I didn't—".
"But, I thought you did," Jamie said. "I was hurt—so you left, but I ended our marriage".
"I don't understand".
Jamie let out a deep breath. "I slept with someone else".
Author's note: I hope everyone enjoyed that chapter.
I did see a comment where there was some concern in the direction I was taking with Naley, I absolutely have no intentions to ever split them up in this story! When going through something traumatic, as this story line, yes you should hold your spouse closer...but that doesn't mean that's what you're going to do. It's a natural emotional response, to close people off, but hopefully this chapter eases your mind a little.
Another comment I saw was confused about how Brucas was talking about their first date, and then now they are living together, there is no chapters missing. I did a time jump, I spent a year stuck on one chapter, and it helped to just jump forward but I'm slowly revealing things that happened in this time frame.
I hope these answered or cleared up some of your questions or concerns.
I should note that some of these storylines will be carried pretty quickly, I normally like to space things out, and keep a particular storyline around for a while before it gets any closer, but these stroylines will continue at a rapid pace because of the time frame.
I had so many different storylines before and that is where a lot of my own confusion and trouble writing came from, but now I have made it to where a lot of the storylines inter loop with one another and that should not only help my writing but you're reading.
Just because I made you wait so long I am going to give you a few "spoilers" of what's to come!
I am really trying to keep the Jamie/Madison story in an aspect that won't make you hate either of them, and maybe even understand pieces, but at the same time their story isn't over. Their love is still there. One of them will want to walk away, and the other will want to fight for their marriage, despite the circumstances.
Now, you know Chuck is the father, and just like Jamie and Madison I am trying to write this in a way that no one will be disliked. Lily believes she is doing what is best for her son, but that will soon come to a head, and Keith will have to pick a side. He loves his daughter, very much, and is scared to upset her, but with Deb being the voice of reason in his ear (I know, it sounds ridiculous to me, too lol), he will have to make a choice on what is best for his grandson.
Nathan and Haley are both on a long, road to a healing, it is not something that will happen overnight. It is something that is going to be difficult on both their ends, but will be a very different process for both of them, as they not only juggle a newborn but have preteen in the middle of puberty, along with trying to capture the moments of their sons last year in high school.
Peyton will be breaking some devastating news shortly, and how she, and her new husband, Jake, cope with this news is going to be a heartbreaking journey.
Lucas and Brooke, are happier than ever, and even more good news to come for the happy couple, but with certain life changes will definitely throw a wrench in their upcoming plans.
Happy Sunday! Stay safe & healthy, and leave a review if you have time.
XOXO