Peacefully, the birds tweet singing sweet songs as I place my hands on my hips relishing the peace and quiet of the outdoors as Marco and I help unpack the car while Mr Diaz happily sketches mrs Diaz pin one of the tents for the trip.
"Camping!" Loudly, Star screams making Marco scream as I blink, pausing for a moment to register the giddy blonde in the back of the car.
"How long have you been in there?" Concerned, I question her as she rustles out of the jampacked space.
"For hours. What's up nature? You're gonna get tamed!" Eager, Star proclaims to the wild making me chuckle as a Mosquito buzzes and lands on Star.
"Nature's touching me. Hey little guy. Cataclysmic total extinction death blast!" Softly, Star greets the mosquito only for it to bite her, making her eyes widen then narrow angrily as she raises her wand to the teeny tiny bug.
"Star, we're not on Mewni." Calmly, Marco approaches and sprays bug repellent, making the mosquito fly away.
"Yeah it's not life and death, not most of the time anyway," I assure her.
"Nature's nice here. You'll see. We'll do some fishing, a little hiking, and then... this!" Proudly, Marco holds up a familiar map to reveal old youthful.
"A treasure map?" Excited, Star's eyes shine.
"What? No. It's Old Youthful. One of the oldest geysers on Earth. And guess when it's erupting." Marco answers.
"Today?" Hopeful, Star smiles.
"What do you think?" I smirk.
"Mmmm-hmmmm. Well, we got a big day ahead. Let's get started." Quietly, Marco grabs the fishing poles.
"Aren't your parents coming?" Confused, Star arches a brow.
"Nah. You know how most parents show slide shows of their vacations? Mine show paintings." Sighing, Marco sighs.
"And done. Next!" Mr Diaz calls out as Mrs Diaz simply raises her hammer to the peg as Rafael changes canvas, a few of them showing the same body position only the hand changing. "It's pretty impressive, how fast he is," Honestly, I confess.
"So it's just the three of us then?" Star gathers.
"Yeah. Is that okay?" Marco questions only for our eyes to widen. Loudly, an explosion occurs as something falls from the sky forming a crater. Urgent, Star, Marco and I run over to check it out.
"Camping!" Roaring, the tiny blonde roars.
"Dad!" Brightly, Star smiles at the sight of him.
"How does Mewni transport work here!?" Baffled, I question confused on how he even got here but it falls to deaf ears.
Peacefully, I lean back on the boat, closing my eyes as I enjoy the gentle current of the waves, relishing the peace and quiet, the warm heat and the rocking of the boat or so I had thought. Startled, I blink taken aback as I am thrown forward, Star snatching my shoulders and helping steady me courtesy of the King's sit-ups on the boat, rocking it greatly.
"Dad, oh, it's always great to see you. But what are you doing here?" Strained, Star smiles at the sight of the focused male.
"What, I can't go camping with my own daughter? I taught you how to camp!" Proudly, he proclaims to us.
"Yeah, and now Marco's showing me how to go camping here on Earth." Kindly, Star smiles.
"Really? Is he showing you how to stalk a Narinthian tar beast for eleven days with no food, no sleep, and no clothes⁈" Rudely, he demands from Star.
"No Dad, nature's really nice here. Look at what it gave me. Love bites. Here Marco. Show Dad how to Earth fish." Star shows off her mosquito bites.
"I don't think those are love bites," Nervously, I smile.
"Yeah, sure." Good heartedly, Marco hands him a fishing pole.
"Whoa. So how do I... Amazing. Now what?" Awestruck, King River questions after the faint plop of the hook in the water echoes.
"You're already doing it." Marco informs him.
"Yay Dad!" Joyfully, Star celebrates cheering him on.
"Now we just sit and wait." Blissful, Marco smiles leaning back and casting his line.
"You wait for the fish to come to you?" Confused, the king furrows his brow.
"Just relax and take it all in. Smell that? Okay. Where'd he go?" Confused, Marco raises a brow.
"How did he even escape?" I question perplexed only to squeak back in shock as boldly, the King surfaces from the lake, holding a giant boulder over his head.
"Fishing! Yah. Take that and that. Oh, gotcha now." Determined, the king uses his leg to catch a fish and punches the leg.
"Is that what fishing on Mewni looks like?" Perplexed, Marco questions.
"Seems a bit more counter intuitive to me." I confess my brow furrowed as we watch the king shake his leg vigorously, deciding to do get out and do something more active, hence hiking.
"It says Old Youthful actually got its name from early settlers who believed that it had rejuvenating powers." Marco recites from the map.
"That sounds really..." Star begins.
"Boring! Why are we walking so slow?" Impatient, King River demands.
"Well, I was trying to take it easy 'cause you know, what you did to your foot." Marco points towards his foot.
"But I don't even feel it." Huffing, the king informs us.
"That's even more." Concerning, I furrow my brow.
"Come on, let me magic you up some boots." Warmly, Star offers taking out her wand to conjure up the shoes on offer for the king as I grimace we should find a first aid kit for him.
"I don't need any of that; I don't even need feet. Can you do this, huh? Can you do this? I don't think you can. Want a piggyback ride, honey?" Eagerly, he offers kicking Marco lightly making me furrow my brow at the offer towards Star.
"Aw, Dad. No." Swiftly, Star rejects the offer.
"Since when are you too cool for piggyback rides?" Hurt, the king questions her.
"Well, I'm not too cool for a piggyback..." Politely, Marco offers.
"That would be weird Marco. Race you to the water thing!" Coldly, he rejects Marco's suggestion, his tone turning from serious to light-hearted in a flash as he runs off on his hands, with his legs up in the air.
"Is this…a dad thing?" Curious, I question the two glancing at me and shrugging having no idea as we follow after the king, having no idea what is to come…
"Is that the right way?" Curious, Star questions Marco and we continue on our way to old faithful.
"No. Is your dad okay?" Worried, Marco asks her as I nod my head.
"Has he been kicked out of the castle again?" Fascinated, I arch a brow remembering his visit causing a huge annoying party.
"I think so. I phoned mum; things seem fine at home. He just really loves family camping trips. Okay, where'd you go, big guy?" Humming, Star gets out her wand and points high up in a tree. "Got him. What's he doing way up there?" Confused, Star uses her wand as a magic parasol, and the three of us float up the King, who's in an…eagle's nest.
"What the heck!?" Horrified, I reel back at the beast. We could get into so much trouble thanks to him.
"Hey Dad. Everything alright?" Concerned, Star smiles at him.
"Shh! Staring contest." Harshly, he shushes her as he stares at the eagle who stares unblinking at the king.
"Whoa! That's a bald eagle. We are breakin' a whole bunch of laws here!" Marco shares my thoughts.
"He started it." Defensively, the king huffs.
"Marco's right Dad. Let's go see Old Youthful." Fairly, Star reasons to him.
"Don't worry, darling. Once I break his spirit with my eyes, he'll fly us there." Determined, the king promises her and begins speaking gibberish, making me furrow my brow at the mention of llama's? And pyjamas?
"This guy's unbelievable. You can't let him beat you in front of your own daughter. She looks up to you. Does she though? What is that supposed to mean? Did you notice, she's pretty much over your piggyback rides. She used to love those. And she went camping without you. That Marco kid's probably her boyfriend and that Ash girl is going to get her into trouble. What? No way…. My little girl isn't dating yet. Whatever. Keep lying to yourself, old man. Old? Who are you calling old?" Lowly, the king rants murmuring under his breath unnerving us all.
"Is this…?" I begin.
"It's a dad thing." Gravely, Marco confirms in a low voice.
Sharply, a police siren goes off, and the king loses his focus as we peer over to find two park rangers who have come to apprehend us. Clattering, the ringing of metal and gold coins clatter on the desk as we stare at the gold coins courtesy of the king using it as a bail and a bribe in hopes of keeping us out of harm's way.
"Something is definitely goin' on with my dad." Quietly, Star whispers to us.
"Maybe a mid-life crisis? I offer.
"Okay, everything's cool. Turns out that feathered thing was some kind of a sacred animal. Heads up would've been nice." Annoyed, the king grumbles.
"You folks better get a move on if you wanna see that old geyser." The ranger informs us.
"Who are you calling an old geezer⁈" Angrily, the king yells.
"Oh. Geyser." The king recalls when seeing the ranger point at the billboard with the geyser.
"Yes Dad, the thing Marco and Ash have been trying to see all day." Frowning, Star places her hand on his shoulder.
"Mainly Marco," I mutter having seen it a few times.
"We can still make it in time. This trail should take us straight to it…" Hopeful, Marco smiles only for our eyes to widen as the trail forks into a myriad of paths.
"Let me see that map." Frowning, Marco turns to the king only for our eyes to widen as the king crumples up the paper and eats it.
"Is he eating the map?" Perplexed, I stare at the king devouring the paper, stunning me.
"I was hungry. Everything is food when you're struggling to survive." Gravely, the king declares.
"Except we're not on..." Star starts.
"Mewni. Right. Sorry." Curtly, her father cuts her off.
"I'm staying positive about this. One of those trails is the right one. Maybe we'll get lucky. Eeny, meeny, miney..." Strained, Marco smiles making me sigh shaking my head at my friend as we stare at a sign that says "Old Youthful 50 Miles"
"Nooooo!" Pained, Marco collapses to his knees pained at the sign.
"You know what? I think this may be my fault. You kids wait right here while I score us a ride." King River steps up making Maro beam pumped up while I furrow my brow, feeling nothing but dread for this madman of chaos.
"Oh man, if he could get us a ride, that would be..." Excited, Marco beams brightly only then for my eyes to widen as next thing I know, I'm sat upon a bear screaming for my life as a familiar clang and clutter of coins drop down on the desk. The king's crown seating on top of the pile as it's shoved forward towards the ranger.
"You'll never make it to Old Youthful now. He goes off in five minutes, and it's a ten-mile hike." The ranger informs us. Pained, Marco bows his head groaning at the reality of the situation.
"I'm sorry Marco." Apologetic, Star tells him.
"Come on it can't be that bad we still have next year." Hopeful, I offer.
"Yeah you're not wrong there," Grateful, Marco smiles up at me.
"Oh, come on. What's the big deal?" Grumbling, the king huffs.
"Dad, what is up with you?" Fed up, Star demands from her father.
"Is this about the bear?" The king questions her.
"No Dad. You've been acting really weird all day, and now Marco and Ash's plans are basically ruined. They really wanted to see Old Youthful." Pained, Star tells her father.
"No Star, we've seen it, like, ten times. We wanted you to see it. You've shown us all kinds of amazing stuff we never knew existed. We just wanted to pay you back. Show you something amazing here on Earth…it was Ash's idea, but I set it up." Honestly, Marco confesses.
"Marco! Ash!" Teary eyed, Star smiles at us.
"Marco. Ash!" The king copies disturbing us.
"I guess Ash is right. We can come back to see Old Youthful erupt some other time." Sighing, Marco stands.
"Oh, you poor, poor boy. Didn't nobody tell you?" The ranger exclaims.
"What?" Surprised, Marco and I blink turning to the ranger.
"This here eruption is gonna be the last." Grimly, the ranger informs us.
"What⁈" Gawking, Marco gasps as I blink trying to register it.
"Those big-city scientists gave that geyser a look-see, and he's all dried up. He's been fadin' away for years. Oh, he used to be impressive. King of the geysers. But now, he's just a sad shadow of his former glory. Aged out and obsolete. Ready to retire and getting in everybody's way. Yes sir, to use clever wordplay, Old Youthful is plumb out of youth…" The ranger informs us.
"We should just go." Deflated, Marco sighs.
"Yes. We will go... and see that geyser." Determined, the king dictates.
"Didn't you hear what that guy said? It's impossible." Marco disproves.
"Yeah by the time we do it'll be too late." Calmly, I inform him.
"Is it? What do you say, Star? One last piggyback ride from your old man?" The king challenges as the ranger says tick tock mocking us almost. Surprised, I blink as the wind blasts through us. My long ruby red locks flowing in the wind as the King carries us. Star and I on one shoulder while Marco is on the other as he runs through the forest, unstopping, through the leaping deer, past the eagle's nest, jumping up a waterfall, across rocks like a goat, through the war, surviving cannon blast.
"We're almost there. Just a glacier and two more war re-enactments." Excited, Marco informs the king.
"You hear that, Dad?" Brightly, Star beams down at him.
"You're almost there just hang on!" I assure him.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." Loudly, the harsh flash of cameras erupts in the child as a geyser is surrounded by lots of people taking pictures. But as the King arrives, it suddenly stops and the people walk away.
"Oh my god, King River!" I call out fearful as he falls to his knees, exhausted with Star calling out to her father. We check him over while Marco falls to his knees, having his hopes crushed once more.
"I'm so sorry pumpkin. I let you down." Pained, the king wheezes outs, turning to me.
"Are you out of your mind? You ran ten miles in five minutes; that's like, a hundred and fifty miles an hour." Amazed, Marco gushes at him.
"You've done things humans would dream to do." I encourage him making him smile weakly from our praise.
"I used to be able to do it in four minutes. I'm not that dad I used to be Star. You need someone younger to take care of you now. Someone like... your boyfriend Marco here." Saddened, King River whispers.
"I'm not her boyfriend. You fell up a waterfall dude! Who does that?" Sternly, he corrects the king.
"I'm older too Dad, but I still need you. No matter how old I get, you'll always be my hero because you'll always be my dad." Star assures him.
"Come here you!" Happily, Star hugs him as I glance to the side not sure what to make of father and daughter relations.
"Well, it's gettin' chilly out, so what do you say we go find you some pants?" Smiling, Marco offers and slaps the King's back, making me gawk at his bravery, only causing the king to stumble, falling on top of the geyser's crater. Roaring, the geyser rumbles, erupting in a huge blast of water which sends the King soaring high into the sky and creates a rainbow.
"Wow! Marco. It's beautiful." Amazed, Star smiles at the gushing water as a familiar eagle caws, swooping through the bright blue pillar as a beautiful rainbow appears from behind the geyser.
"The king must be having the time of his life," Amazed, I look up at the king who then lands on the ground, creating another huge crater. It burns away a lot of his outside.
Astounded, I gasp as we rush over to the newfound and created crater looking into it to discover a ruby red skinned king River.
"Look Star!" Contentedly, her father reveals his new form, a disturbing form making Marco and I grimace.
"Dad. You look so young." Amazed, Star praises.
"Yeah. Fresh-out-of-the-womb young." Pained, Marco glances to the side feeling the same discomfort I do.
"Brand new dad!" Merrily, the king cheers fist pumping as happily we cheer having seen another amazing geyser show…
"And here's the king with his arms up. And here's the king putting his arms down. And here he is walking out of the crater. And climbing out of the crater..." Gushing, Rafael exclaims as he shows off canvas after canvas revealing the slideshow of our camping trick to them all.
"This is so much better than a slide show…" Contentedly, Star smiles leaning back against the sofa as we enjoy the slideshow of our camping trip, now complete.