30.

Pansy:

"For seven days, the waters

from the Flood they came upon the earth."

Ha! By Circe!

Muggles and their tales...

Green flames erupted from the fireplace, illuminating a room that didn't have a single light on. There was nobody at home. Pansy walked forward, pushing her trunk with her, and the fire went out. She went to her room and when she turned on the lights she saw that in all the time she was out, she had not touched anything there; literally nothing, she even noticed a couple of cobwebs. She looked at herself in a mirror and snorted at the ashes that covered her and stuck to her hair and wet clothes, she almost laughed, feeling that she was in tune with the place. "How long has Mom not cleaned the fireplace?" she complained, and went into the bathroom to shower.

Pansy knew she shouldn't have any illusions, it wasn't going to be as simple as Hermione claimed. Still, Aurora Parkinson had far exceeded her expectations. Mother and daughter were conversing with letters in the last week before the Easter holidays, nothing very extensive, more cordial than anything else on the part of her mother: "How are you?", "Are you having fun?", "Are your grades good?" "Surely you will do excellent with the OWLs." And she, for her part, used to answer, without returning questions.

In the last mail she received, her mother had told her that she would pick her up at the train station; which did not happen. Hermione had gone with the Weasleys and Potters to The Burrow, as she said the Grangers were very busy with work and did not want to make her stay home alone and bored all the vacations when she could be with her friends. Rachel and Sophie left almost instantly too, with their respective parents. Luna, on the other hand, kept her company for fifteen minutes, during which she chatted about everything, even what she planned to do during the holidays (to her surprise, Luna was going on a trip to some islands with ancient ruins to investigate it with her father for a Quibbler article). When Mr. Lovegood finally arrived to pick her up, she was surprised by the conversation, since he asked if he arrived on time and Luna replied that yes, he did arrive on time. But Pansy downplayed it, after all, the Lovegoods are... Special.

After waiting half an hour for Aurora, she lost patience and left the station alone. It didn't bother her that her mother didn't show up, she was used to that. When they were still a respected pureblood family, her parents used to send one of their employees to pick her up, and after losing the money (and their employees accordingly), no one would just come to pick her up or take her to school anymore. Throughout the year she was moving quite well on her own, requesting a reservation by mail from some transport service. Which she would have done today as well, if it weren't for Aurora insisting that she take care of it. What was Pansy thinking by trusting this woman? Now she had to walk to some magical place and beg to be allowed to use the Floo, because of course she did not have Muggle money (nor did she know how to use it), much less could she appear alone when she was a minor.

Why King's Cross? It was a question she grunted several times, as she went block after block with a bloody trunk in tow. Why couldn't they have a magical train station, such as the one in Hogsmeade? One for wizards would be more useful, not one surrounded by useless Muggles who couldn't help her get home faster, as being magical, it was impossible for them to see her. She saw several "taxis" she couldn't use moving down the street, making her rage inside, and a few drops began to fall, much to Pansy's dismay. What could you expect from London!

When she finally entered the first magical place she saw after ten blocks of searching, she found a humble little restaurant for magician tourists. She did not have to do much, the owner of the premises almost mistook her for a homeless girl because of her appearance and trunk, and she let her use her fireplace without demanding that she buy anything. Without an adult, she also had no way to cast a spell to avoid getting drenched, so she looked terrible. Which was made worse by the poor state of the fireplace in her home.

Pansy, once clean, tidied up her room, prioritizing dusting and getting her clothes out of her trunk. It was when she was opening the window to vent the musty smell that she heard the front door of the house. A couple of steps moving around the room reminded her that she was mad at her mother.

"Pansy," murmured Aurora in surprise, who had been drawn into the only room with the lights on in the house.

"Hi," she said dryly, still looking out the window. She didn't want to turn around, she didn't want to see her.

"I didn't know you were arriving today."

She closed her eyes, frustrated. She did not dare to speak.

"I'll fix something for lunch, while you finish getting settled," Aurora decided, before leaving the room.

"Only ten days" she muttered to herself, "you only have to put up with this for ten more days."

. . .

Dear Hermione:

Pansy felt her face heat up. She crossed out the first word.

Hermione:

I'm dying of boredom. I imagine you are having fun with the Weasleys?

I always forget that spring in London is so humid and horrible. It's raining now, so hard I can even hear it. It makes me laugh to be writing a letter on the couch, with a tea... And a deluge behind me.

I've been reading the book you lent me, I'm halfway through it (I like to enjoy reading, not devouring it in a single night like a certain Gryffindor does. Maybe you know who she is, her name starts with H). I admit, I had no faith in this muggle book you recommended to me, but I'm totally caught up in it. Will Ariana make it up to Luke? And about the treasure? How the hell will they find the key? Not to mention that Lucy (my favorite), was kidnapped. That annoys me.

Don't answer my questions, I don't want you to ruin my book. I will write you my opinion when I finish it.

She adjusted her hair, letting out a sigh, staring at the paper not sure what else to put.

Miss you.

Was it too much? Write something like that... What if some of the Weasley fools read her letter? Only five days had passed since the start of the vacation. It was exaggerated, silly. Better to cross it out.

Anyway... Don't suffer for me anymore, I wrote to you just as I promised. And please don't do strange things with my letter.

Pansy chuckled at her own joke.

"What is so funny?" Aurora asked.

She also had tea in her hands. Although unlike her, she was sitting at the table, with papers from her work.

"It's nothing," she replied, without looking at her.

She wrote the letter again, the mistakes removed, and went to the living room window, the only one that could be opened to access a balcony. She was glad to see that it was no longer raining, although it was still cloudy. She looked then to a corner, where Mr. Pest was preening itself.

When she woke up after her first night at home, she was surprised to find those huge and somewhat terrifying eyes staring at her from her kitchen window. His feathers were wet and rumpled, helping to complete his classic grungy and would-be delinquent look (he may be a simple owl, but no one could deny that at times she looked like she had come out of Azkaban prison itself).

"Can you do me a favor?" She asked, when the animal noticed her presence.

In response, he continued to groom himself.

"Sure if we give you cookies, okay," suggested Aurora, who had moved closer, managing to startle Pansy.

She watched suspiciously as her mother offered Mr. Pest something to eat. One of her biggest disappointments was finding out that those two were getting along. He didn't try to bite her, nor did he ignore her. In fact, he sometimes sought Aurora's attention!

"The Burrow," she read. "Hermione Granger?"

Pansy said nothing as her mother extended the letter to Mr. Pest, who without hesitation grabbed it between his claws and flew off to do his work.

"Her name is familiar to me," Aurora continued.

She shrugged, re-entering the house. His mother just stood there, leaning against the window frame and looking out. She felt uncomfortable, wondering if she shouldn't do her part, respond better to her mother's attempts at conversation... But she couldn't. She knew nothing good would come out of her mouth if she did. She ignored the guilt, and went to her room.

. . .

When she woke up, she found her mother in the kitchen, making breakfast. It was strange, since in these seven days that they had been together the woman used to leave home early (the last five days leaving a note about the time she would return and some kind or sweet nonsense).

"I have the day off today," Aurora said, who had turned her head to give her a small smile. "Hello."

"Good morning," Pansy whispered, noticing that some toast was cooking on the fire, next to the coffee pot that was already giving off the smell of coffee beans.

She moved to the shelves, to find some tea for herself, but Aurora stopped her:

"Don't worry. Is chamomile tea okay? I was going to make one for you."

Pansy nodded, leaving the kitchen. Still a bit groggy from sleep, she felt overwhelmed. A knock on the window caught her attention, Mr. Pest was there. She opened the window, letting him in. He ungraciously put the letter down on the table and flew to the other side of the house. Pansy heard Aurora say, "Wow, my favorite owl came back. Give me a moment and I'll give you something."

Preferring to ignore the other two in the house, she sat down at the table and began to read:

Dear Pansy,

I was very happy to see your letter, it is strange not to see you even in the corridors every day. It's a habit!

The Weasleys are, as always, great hosts. I finished dinner a moment ago, Mrs. Weasley cooks delicious food. Today she even made dessert, being Friday. I feel about to burst, but I couldn't resist the flan.

These days I'm taking the opportunity to read while Harry, Ron, Ginny and the twins play Quidditch. And when they get tired, we explore the surroundings, or even play a board game, which, for some reason, I'm very bad at. In all the games we played I was in last place. I don't even know how it is possible, it was a game of chance, but when I rolled the dice I almost always got low results: a one, or if lucky a three.

Do you realize that you are a bit dramatic? So you are experiencing a flood, please... Didn't you write the bible? Did you kill everyone out of boredom or something?

Pansy cocked her head at that. A bible? What was Hermione talking about? She would ask her about that later.

Since you are so bored, and I trust that you are almost done reading the book I gave you, how about coming to tell me your opinion instead of writing to me? If you want to stay with your mother, don't worry (I'm serious, Pansy, we're almost back to school after all). Mrs. Weasley suggested, when Mr. Pest showed up with your mail, that you can come on the last day of the holidays for dinner (she will do her best that day with the food, to say goodbye to us). You could even stay the night, and then we would all go together to King's Cross the next day. You have a few days to think about it. I will be waiting for your answer!

She raised her eyebrows in surprise at the invitation. Go with the Weasley family? Not in her wildest dreams would she have foreseen such a thing in her life. But right now it was a marvel of a plan. She wanted to see Hermione, and not see Aurora. This was more than perfect.

Oh, and let me answer the little riddle you gave me: from Gryffindor, start with H... It's Harry, right? And I thought you were only talking about readings with me.

Kisses,

from Hermione.

Postscript: Strange things, seriously? Moron.

She laughed, shaking her head. Hermione was an idiot too! Her joke was bad...

When she stopped looking at the letter, she found Aurora in front of her, she had placed a plate of food in the middle of the table, and the cup of tea near Pansy. She was drinking her coffee at the time, watching her carefully. She grabbed a piece of toast, using it as an excuse not to speak to her mother. She saw that in the window, in the usual corner, Mr. Pest was with his eyes closed to sleep a little.

"Did a friend write to you?"

"Yes," Pansy replied. "She invited me to visit her on the seventeenth night. She says I can also stay the night and go with her the next day to King Cross." She stopped looking at the window, meeting Aurora's eyes. "Can I go?"

"Of course. If you want to go…"

"Good," she cut the subject, sipping some tea.

"Are you mad at me, Pansy?"

A wry laugh almost escaped her, but she caught herself and only managed a tight-lipped smile.

"It's not nice to see you only smile at the post in this house."

She didn't reply, looking at the tea as if it were suddenly very interesting.

"Does it bother you that I didn't come for you?"

"You finally remembered," she muttered.

"Sorry."

Pansy shrugged in her seat. She didn't want to raise her head, her chest ached.

"It was not my intention…"

"To forget about me?" She finished the sentence for her.

She took a breath, trying to calm the anger, and as she did so an unpleasant sensation crossed her throat, feeling it tight, sour... The itch spread from her neck to her nose. She didn't want to cry in front of Aurora.

"I... I was busy... I didn't realize..."

"It doesn't matter," she said as she got up from the table. "I forgive you. It's not that important. It bothered me more that you wasted my time, you could not have committed to do it to save us all this. You never picked me up before anyway, like you want to do it now."

"But I did want to!" Aurora tried, getting up too, not wanting Pansy to leave her talking to herself.

"Is that a joke?" She asked bitterly. "If you had wanted to, you would have gone!" Pansy's vision clouded as she turned around. "Just... It doesn't matter. I insist, I don't give a damn if you go to that stupid train station or not."

"But you…"

"I don't care about that, Mom!" She screeched, walking to her room.

"You're sad, of course it matters," she said, following her.

"Did the psychologist tell you or something? I don't need your performance."

"What? How...?"

"The Prophet," she clarified in a strangled voice, when she reached the door. She faced Aurora then, with a mixture of anger and tears. "Isn't it a little late to worry? Don't be so damn hypocritical, by Merlin!"

"Pansy, don't talk to me that way," she said softly, but still commanding.

In response, Pansy slammed the door in her face. She heard how Aurora sighed heavily and then walked away from the room. She rubbed her face with the sleeve of her shirt and went to her bed. As she sat on the edge, she huddled, feeling embarrassed. She wasn't thinking... It just exploded. She shouldn't... Hermione told her that Aurora was trying, and she knew it was true... But she felt bad, uncomfortable. She couldn't just be rational, she felt hurt.

The door opened slowly, Aurora leaned in. Pansy rubbed her face again and, regaining her rage, looked to the opposite side of the door. She didn't want her around. Why was she coming back? She heard the noise of something being placed on wood, out of the corner of her eye she saw that it was the cup of tea she had abandoned, and from the steam, she suspected that her mother had used a spell to reheat it. She felt the mattress sink beside her. Even so, she continued to maintain her strange posture, in an attempt to mark distance.

"It's nice. When did you buy it?"

Pansy frowned, not understanding. Then she looked at the furniture next to her bed, there was only her own wand, a candle and that little toy, the plastic owl, the gift that Hermione gave him.

"She looks like Bellona."

"Who?" She asked, totally confused.

"Well, you call her Mr. Pest."

"Did you name him?"

"Of course. But... you know she's female, right?" She corrected her.

"What?"

Aurora giggled softly. "Is it Mrs. Pest?" she thought incredulously.

"I named her Bellona after the goddess of war. She came in a fury with your first letter, I think she wanted to protect you. She tried to attack me when she saw that I didn't try to answer you right away."

"But... you get along," Pansy pointed out, disbelieving. Swallowing her opinion that the name was horrible and she wasn't going to use it.

"Now. And it was not easy."

She snorted, trying to stifle a laugh as she imagined how much the owl would have done in her absence. But a few seconds later, she felt uncomfortable again. She didn't want to laugh with Aurora. They were not supposed to get along.

"I didn't want you to find out about my life from the newspaper."

"Everybody found out about your life from the newspaper," she reminded her.

Aurora shrugged.

"It's... I'm ashamed," she admitted.

Pansy said nothing, and stared at the teacup, not sure if she wanted to drink to ignore the discomfort, or let it cool, because she didn't want to take that vague attempt at a peace offering.

"That's why I didn't go pick you up. I had an appointment with the psychologist, it took longer, I left there a little overwhelmed and I did not remember that…"

"I don't believe you" she wanted to say, but didn't dare. She didn't want to keep talking. She wanted to be alone.

"I didn't even think... The day before, I wasn't even aware of what date it was. I have no excuse."

"You remembered your appointment," she whispered angrily, which surprised Aurora. "One of them. The one that was most important to you, of course."

"We can go to King's Cross together, when you get back to school in a few days."

"Mom, I'm not interested in the train!"

"It was important to you. I didn't go, it wasn't good, I…"

"Why don't you get it?" Pansy was outraged, crossing her arms. "I want to be alone."

"You've been ignoring me all week. I already gave you a lot of time to process this, I don't want you to go to Hogwarts in a few days with both of us like this."

"Why do you care now?"

"Now?"

"Yes," she growled. "You didn't mind yelling at me at Christmas, nor was it the only time you did. You didn't care when you chose not to talk to me almost every summer vacation for anything other than making me feel bad. Because right now? You're just doing what they tell you, because of your stupid job. Not for me. You do not care about me."

"Pansy," Aurora said, hurt.

"Why do I have to understand that you need time for Dad? I suffered the same as you," she spat, tears escaping. "You went to talk to your friends at his funeral," she recalled, sounding even angrier. "Why didn't you stay with me?"

"I did not want... I did not mean for it to be like this," she apologized with bright eyes, on the verge of tears.

When she tried to get close to Pansy, to touch her, she got up from the bed. She didn't want her, she didn't need her anymore.

"Why did you leave me alone?" She sobbed, not knowing where to escape.

It hurt, she couldn't hold back the tears. Breathing burned her with that excruciating itch running through her nose.

"It doesn't matter," she stammered in a husky voice. "I don't care if you want to do things right now. It's too late."

Aurora got up, while her daughter rubbed her face with her hand, trying to fix the tearful mess it was. She ignored Pansy's start of protest when she grabbed her arms, and though she struggled to get free, she hugged her. They were both tense, but Aurora refused to break the hug.

"I hate you," Pansy said. And when she saw that her mother did not do or say anything, she continued, crying again. "I hate you."

"I'm sorry for not being there for you."

"I don't need you."

"Even so. I didn't mean to cause you this pain."

"Leave me alone," she murmured.

"I feel bad being the cause of this," Aurora said, pulling away to see Pansy's face.

It was a disaster, and Aurora was the same; irritated eyes, red noses (more Pansy than her).

"It's true, I didn't think of any of this before," Aurora continued. "I spoke a lot about you, to my psychologist. Without her, I wouldn't have noticed."

"I'm sad Pansy, I feel bad every day. But I don't want to be like this, I'm really trying. I want to be good with you, I want to see you happy, see us happy."

Pansy said nothing, staring at the ground. She felt stupid, standing in the middle of the room with her mother still holding her arms.

"Narcisso wouldn't have allowed this," Aurora said. "He was always the more positive of us."

"Didn't you feel guilt?" She complained. "Was it okay for you to be like this with me?"

"I didn't want to see you," she admitted with a broken voice.

She felt her heart squeeze, there was no way to hear that from her mother and not feel beaten. Was what she said true? Did she not want to see her? And why did it hurt? Shouldn't she hate her? Why didn't those words make her hate her more? How can it be?

She never hated her in the first place, it was obvious... She could say it, she could scream it, but it wouldn't make it any more true. Pansy couldn't hate her. She loved her mom, but she didn't want to see her...

"You reminded me of him."

Pansy didn't control the tears this time, and neither did Aurora.

"You were always a daddy's girl," she sobbed. "You are more like him than me. I couldn't stop comparing you Pansy."

She didn't want to be in the room, she didn't want to see her. Still she lunged forward, and wept more. She clung to her mother in disgust, hiding her face in her clothes. Pansy wanted to reject her, to hate her... But at the same time, she didn't want her to push her away, not to love her... She was distraught. And her mom was stroking her back, trying to calm her down. She felt a kiss on her temple, before Aurora pulled away from her a little without releasing her completely.

"I was selfish," she lamented. "Let me try to improve. I was wrong, and I plan to learn from that."

Pansy nodded, overwhelmed. She sat on the bed and looked at the tea, which was probably already warm, but she didn't care. She desperately needed to remove that feeling that was choking her. She took a few sips.

"Slowly?" Aurora asked.

"How?" Pansy said confused, trying to ignore the stabs of pain in her head. She had cried too much.

"Us," she clarified. "We will solve our problems, one step at a time."

"Yes," she whispered. "It's fine."

"I love you Pansy."

"And I you," she said even lower.

Aurora pulled her wand out of her clothes and wordlessly cast a spell on the teacup, heating it for the third time that day.

. . .

It was only that evening that Pansy deigned to leave her room. She hadn't eaten lunch, and Aurora hadn't invaded her space again. She found her mother again in the kitchen, she seemed to be struggling: there were several pots, a knife moved, chopping some carrots while she checked the cooking meat. It smelled good, which surprised hier. She was not used to that, to her mother making something that was appetizing. She looked around, noting that the furniture was now free of dust (it was spotless a couple of days ago). Even the fireplace, it looked better.

Aurora turned around and put a hand to her chest because she was scared when she saw her. She did not expect to find her there, nor had she heard her arrive.

"I was about to go find you," she confessed, "to ask you if you wanted to have dinner with me or if you would rather be in your room."

"Can I help you with the table?" Pansy asked.

Aurora smiled at her and she followed suit. It was raining again, and that reminded her that she had left a letter on the table, which was no longer there.

"I left it on the fireplace," Aurora said, over Pansy's face of dread. "I imagine that is what you were looking for. The letter?"

"Did you read it?" She questioned, with a mixture of outrage and discomfort.

"Of course not. I don't want to be traumatized."

"Traumatized?" Pansy asked, with an arched brow.

"Aha," Aurora confirmed. 'I don't want to know details about your romantic life.'

What was her mother implying? She was almost sure what Aurora was imagining, but... It wasn't possible. She had many friends! She wrote to Rachel and Sophie. Even yesterday, Luna had sent her a letter with a stone and a small note that said "Perfect for impurities."

"That reminds me, I don't know if I should let you stay the night there." Pansy opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but Aurora ignored her. "I mean, I'm very much in favor of love. But I think you are too young to let you go to sleep with your girlfriend."

Suddenly she was feeling too much like dying, jumping out of the window or something.

"Don't try to deny it," she scolded her as she directed with her wand as the salt shaker moved, unaware that Pansy was still too stunned to say anything.

"She is a friend."

"Your dad was 'a friend', too." She quoted with her fingers.

Pansy winced, uncomfortable.

"There is nothing romantic in the letter!" She complained.

"And I said I didn't read it."

"Why are you assuming then?"

"Your stupid face while reading was more enlightening than any word." She turned then, with a mocking smile. "Unless you like her, and she doesn't even give you the time of day?"

Pansy opened her mouth, totally outraged. Hermione gave her more than the time! But she couldn't say that, she didn't want to admit anything in front of her mother.

"Weren't you going to set the table?" Aurora reminded her.

She obeyed, muttering under her breath complaints that her mother did not understand. She almost wanted to get along with her again, she had forgotten how unbearably open Aurora was about these kinds of subjects.

Notes:

CURIOSITY #5:

Spanish and its strange details ... Did you know that the translator (Majere) had a little problem with Mrs. Pest?

Originally the character was called "Pajarraco", which means: bird, especially the one that is not known, and is big or ugly. The problem was that that word in English has no translation, it is just bird. I thought about calling it "Stinky Bird", when reviewing the etymology of the word with a friend, but... This chapter joked that it was a female and not a male! So... Before I knew it, her name became "Mrs. Pest". I like it a lot, so I'm not complaining. But poor "Bird"! She just wanted to eat quietly without being disturbed...